The St. Johns herald., May 13, 1886, Image 4

About The St. Johns herald. (St. Johns, Apache County, Arizona Territory [Ariz.]) 1885-1903

Image provided by: Arizona State Library, Archives and Public Records; Phoenix, AZ

                
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MEN IN PADDED CLOTHING.
Tula Txga Made Stoat, and Narrow Chesta
Hadf Broad.
There is a profession which many people
know nothing of. It isth.at of the man
"who models the human figure, but not in
; 3lay. He models in cloth.
An expert in this art can demand a
large salary, and is always sure of em
ployment in the largo tailoring houses.
A. reporter visited a fashionable up-town
. tailor to have a talk with one of these
artists.
Ho was introduced to a dapper little
Frenchman of about 45 years.
" You havo had a large experience
In your profession, I suppose?" asked
the reporter.
' I have given it my constant study for
nearly twenty years, and tho more I see
ot it tho less faith I havo in the common
sense of tho most of my patrons." .
'That's rather a broad assertion to
make,"
Nevertheless it is true and becoming
tioro so every day. You Americans aro
)f all people tho least satisfied with
what nature has given you, You aro
always trying to go ono better than
nature, and instead of trying natural
moans in the way of taking plenty of air
xnd muscular exercise, you substitute the
jA and corset."
" Will you tell me the latest idea of a
good figure from a dude's standpoint?"
" That depends a Teat deal upon "what
tho dudo wants,"
" If ho wants a iincly-developed pair
ot calves, I can supply him. If he lacks
breadth of chest, I can furnish him with
as fine a chest as you could wish to
5ce. Should the deficiency be in the
shoulders, I can produce a pair that Atlas
himself would envy. The process of pro
ducing these is very simple.
' But first I must inform you that I
havo nothing to do with tailoring. I
simply mako cloth coats or pads which
answer tho same purpose to the tailors as
lasts to tho shoemaker.
" To do this it is absolutely necessary
to have an accurate idea of the propor
tions of the customer, otherwise it
would lead to a very amusing con
fusion. 14 Once I had a customer who wanted
to possess a shapely pair of legs. The
original onos were sufficiently full for all
practical purposes, but ho wanted them
more full. I made some pads for the
thighs, calves and hips. They were
made of lino chamois leather, and when
finished they were sewn into the trousers.
" Tho result was tho gentleman walked
a Fifth avenue next morning with finely
shaped legs, but entirely out of pro
portion with other parts of his body."
"Do many peoj-Io wear pads of this
description?"
" Quite a largo number. Most gentle
aien profer to wear padded under gar
ments; by this means they avoid tho
bulky appearance which padded clothes
gives them. Tho cheapest outfit costs
$35." N. Y. Mail and Express,
Romance Among Tho l'Jgrcona,
"It is interesting to sco them .pa
said Mr. Gaskill. iUimSHSS
e hen and co'
whole and fancy freo she
-rMnM JPU-fctTalicart
pays attention to his woolngs.
"If she is already mistress of a nest
and docs not caro for attentions from tho
opposite sex, she goes on with her feed
ing, paying no hood to tho soft pigeon
English of the proposing gallant,"
And If sho is sinlo. what then?"
"If tho hen turns a willing ear to tho
rooster ho coos gently, as if inviting her
to bo his brido, and thon ho risos in the
' ' air and flics away followed by tho
t hen.
'The rooster will carry her to tho
pigeon-house that ho makes his home,
; that is, provided the hen has nover had
x nest and reared young. Wherever a
. . pigeon nests that is its permanent
home, and it cannot bo enticed away.
" You see that pigeon on tho roof with
or feathers all rufiled up. Sho is a
liscousolato widow. Sho has had a
lost in my house, and a few dajs ago
she was courted by ono of my neighbor's
roosters. They made a match of it, but
the hen refused to go homo with tho
v E rooster and ho refused to take up his
J ibodc with her.
So, after sovoral days of ineffectual
persuasion, they decided to play quits.
"Therefore sho is hero and her beau is
gone," Atlanta Constitution.
: 3 l
IIo Gave Her His Hand.
Tho train was slipping along toward
Elmira at forty miles an hour, when a
passenger canio into tho smoker and
3alled out :
"Now, gents, thcro's a woman in tho
:ar back there whoso case appeals to our
sympathies. She's a poor widow, and
just as sho got on the train some ono
picked her pookct of S80. She hasn't one
rod cent to her name, and will bo among
' Grangers when sho gets to Elmira.
. ?o?ae, now, let's chip in,"
, Uvevy man in tho car cheerfully con-
-aributed to the fund every man but one.
He was a young man about 25 years old,
- poorly drossod, and evidently without
much money ; in fact, ho explained :
" Gents, I'm as sorry as anybody can
be. but I'm powerful short on money, I'll
tell you what I'll do. If she isn't over
10, and hasn't got a game leg, or a
stiff neck, or a bad breath, I'll marry
hcr as soon as wo reach Elmira, and
take her right out to my farm."
"Well, come in and seo her and
talk tho matter over."
Tho young man went back to the car
. with him, and ho was favorably im
pressed at first sight. Ho sat down and
stated his intentions and circumsyaawsL ;
and wound up with :
I've bin looking for a wife for a year
past and haven't found anybody except
a cross-eyed gal and a rheumatic widow.
If you aro agreed wo'll bo married
.to-day,"
The woman sjiid it -was pretty sudden,
but sho guessed it was the best sho
could do. A purse of $30 was handed
her, and as the pair got off at Elmira,
hand in hand, the man said to a hack
man :
"Here you! Drive these two fond
hearts to the nighest preacher, and drivo
as if there was a tornado coming up be
hind you." I
Thqy Received a Good Plain Education, j
President Cleveland never attended a
college of any kind.
"The acting Vice-President, Jjohn Slier
man, is a graduate of the common schools
of Ohio. ,
The Secretary of State, Thomas F.
Eaj-ard, nover got farther than a Dela
ware rural academy.
The Speaker of the House of Repre
sentatives, John G. Carlisle, Is aself-edu-'jated
man,
' "
. . . 'What Has Been Done In Montana, " J
D. A. Clark of Montana went .to tho
range in 1864 with. twenty-vecents, ,
ana now no has an Incorao of $3;00Q a
idav, . .
THE J.0GI0 .OF EVENTS,
"Well, well," said Mrs. Catson, putting
aside a newspaper and turning to her hus
band, a pair of ear-rings caused the
Burmese war, I never heard of anything
so strange."
"Oh," said Mr. Caison, "I havo heard
5f stranger things."
"Nonsense."
"Well, I have, and I'll give you an ex
ample. One night, in Boston, a young
man, meeting an acquaintance, said,
'Come, let's have a drink.' I was never
in Boston, but that remark brought
about our marriage."
"Why, George," exclaimed Mrs. Cat
son, "you are foolish. Neither of us
were over in Boston. You must be losing
your mind."
"Tell you what I'll do: I promised to
get vou a new cloak, didn't I?"
"Yes."
"Well, now I'll bet you the cloak that
cm prove my assertion."
"All right.""
" If I succeed you don't get the cloak,"
"I understand."
"Well, one night in Boston, about ten
years ago, a young man, meeting a
friend, asked him to como and havo a
drink. The friend, a drug clerk, did so.
Be took several drinks and got drunk.
That settled it."
"Settled what?"
"Tho fact of our marriage."
"How can you be so foolish?"
"Never mind, I'll explain, Tho drug
clerk got drunk and went to the store.
Shortly afterward, a servant girl entered
and handed him a prescription. In put
ting it up, he used morphine instead of
quinine. The girl went away, and deliv
ered tho medicine to Mrs, Potter, who
took it and died."
"Oh, what's the uso of prolonging this
foolishness?"
"Hold on. Tho death of that woman
drew 3ou and me closer together than we
ever were before."
"Wo were not acquainted with each
other ten years ago."
" That is very true, but wait. Mr. Pot
ter, tho lady's husband, was almost
crazed by grief. He could stay in Boston
no longer, so he came down to Kentucky
and, after awhile, went into business.
Don't seo any light vet, do you?"
" Oh, hush."
"Wait a minute. He had not been in
business long until I mot him. Ho took
a. fancy to me, andgavo meemployment.
After I had been with him several years,
he sent me to Arkansaw. I had been in
this state but a short time until I met
you.
"Summary: If tho friend had not
asked the drug clerk to drink on one cer
tain occasion he would not have got
drunk, if ho hadn't been drunk howould
not have made a mistake in filling tho
prescription, and had he not made a mis
take, Mrs. Potter would not have been
killed, and had she not died, Potterwbuld
not have left Boston, and had ho not left
that city I should not have met him, and
had I not gone into business with him "
"Oh, for goodness sake, hush. You
thought.
ic' of events
failed to meet
proper appreciation
In this country, "-
Arkausaw Traveler.
Mock Auction of Cigars.
That aged system of swindling by
means of mock auction sales of cigars is
still carried on successfully in New York.
Tho other day a well-known Southern
man entered a littlo placo where cigars
were being sold by an auctioneer. Thoro
were apparently three or four men who
wero bidding briskly, and as tho cigars
seemed to be fine, tho stranger competed
Tor a choico box, which was knocked
down to him for $5. Immediately uftcr
ward tho salo was declared closed.
Tho Southerner stepped up to tho
counter, whero apparent customers were
receiving parcels, and asked for his box,
at tho samo timo tendering a 5 bill.
You owo SCO," said the cashier so
rorely. "For what?"
"These cigars aro sold in lots, not by .
tho box."
" But I distinctly bid for one box."
"You aro mistaken."
"Wo all bid for lots," declared tho
customers.
Tho Southerner concluded ho had a
bargain anyway, and that his friends
would be glad to take such cigars off his
hands. Ho thought that he might, after
all, havo been bidding under a misappre
hension. Ho wroto an order on a prominent hotel
svhero ho was stajing for $60, and'direct
ed that tho cigars be sent there. Then
iie went down town and forgot all about
tho matter until evening.
When ho returned to tho hotel tho
clerk said :
" Wo paid your order, but wo know that
j'ou havo been swindled."
"Oh, no; tho cigars aro worth doyblo
the money."
Look at them and seo !"
Tho package was untied, and iwofvo
boxes of the commonest kind of cabbage
leaf cigars wero exposed to view. Tho
Southerner turned away in intense dis
gust. "Don't give me away," he begged.
Rather give the cigars away to the
porters anybody,"
Tho next day ho took a policeman to
tho a'uetion store, vowing vengeance.
The placo was empty, and he invested
another dollar in treats to the official,
begging him also in the same disgusted
manner :
"Don't givo mo away." New York
Tribune.
Xiver TVii
A four-year old
.'out Bacon.
uoy, -wnue maKing a
morning call at the houso of a nni-hhnr
overheard the servant girl talking em
phatically to the cat in her endeavor to
get it out of the kitchen.
Among other things the girl said to tho
cat was this: "If you don't get out of
this I'll shake the liver out of you !"
This remark struck the listening young
ster favorably, and he treasured it up for
future use.
Next morning he chanced to be at this
same neighbor's, and the smaller mem
bers of the household announced to him
that they wero going to have liver for
Jbreakfast.
Tho youngster put two and two to
gether at once, and reached his own
conclusions; then, to confirm them, he
turned to the girl and asked anxiously :
"Did you shake it out of the cat :" St.
a-iuaus Aiessenger.
Curious Entry jTroni alUTarrrage Register.
.An English paper gives the following
curious notioo, found in the marriage
register of the Church of St. James, Barry
street, Edmunds.
. "1832, November 5 Christopher Now-1
son,-Charity Morrell. Charity Morroll
being entirely without-arms, the ring was
placed upon the fourth toe of tho :lcft
root,.nnd sho wrote her nanio in this
register with her right foot."'
, - . ' ' '
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: ' ' 11 'tf
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THE
Thursday
'2
Apache County Publishing Company,
Johns; Apache. County, Ariz,
St.
KGEST CIRCULATION AND
lVAlVCWXUNTY
, ."- - "
A 1'AiR IDEYOTEDTO THE DEVELOPMENT AND INTER
ESTS OF. TERRITjORIAL INDUSTRIES.. A PAPER
V EOR'TFIK PEOPLE AND ALWAYS WITH
THE
TJ'UJb appointments and Facilities which
cannot be excelled in the Territory.
'RDERS PROMPTLY, - NEATLY AND TASTEFULLY EXE
- .'. ECUTED AT REASONABLE FIGURES,
A Full Line. -of First-class Stationery and
- Job Material.
SEND IN YpUH J.UBSGRIPTIONS AND:PERSUADErORj:NElGHBORS
TO DO LIKEWISE; " " ' " 1 ' ' :
SitbscriptiowiOO per Year, Invariably in Advance.
Morning,
'if
AT
BEST ADVERTISING MEDIU
AND E TEBRlTOUy. -..
PEOPLE.
IS
ADAMS ON
-DEALERS IX
G ETER A.L MEB CXiATDISB
HOLBHOOK.
WAGONS! WAGONS!! WAGONS!!!
THE CELEBRATED " STCDEBAKER "
Blackboard Single and Double Seats!
jP.ar,:k: wo-costsi
lynoTJisrTiisr w.A.a-o:rsrsi
SIEISTZD POB PRICE
We are still Headquarters for Ranch
Bootp, Chaperajoes, Etc.,
BEN. BL'RK.
T. M. TRIMBLE.
HOLBROOI
CONTRACTORS, BUILDERS, AND DESIGNERS
Of Bridges, WarehousesStores and Dvveliing Houses.
Building Material in Wood or
Will Receive Prompt
HQLBR60K,
tveryihsiio
3 I
All Kinds of Goods UsuallyKept in a First
Class House Can be Found at Barth's.
EJLITOS: SUPPLIES J SPBOIALTT.
-LIVE ST0CK1B00GHT AND SOLD.
Orders by Mail or Express Promptly Attended to.
BRANCH HOUSE AT HARDY.
MAX SALZMAIST,
enera
Keeps constantljron hand a
GROCERIES, PB(M8I0K& QUEEN WARE
Hats, Caps, Boots, Clohes, Underwear Etc, Etc.,
HARDWARE
HIDES and WOOU
Apache Cormty,
sx. io ravg,
PIIXSBURY AXD COMPANY,
DRTJGGrISTS !
RAILROAD AVENUE, CORNER THIRD STREET,
Make a speciality of sending Goods
'AMI parts' of New Mexico and Arizona. If your .
:k Tffv-'&Pofnot have what you want,' plcntoe sepc us your oriltjWauil
& BURBAGE,
ARIZONA..
LIST JJSTJD TERMS
Supplies. Stetson Huts, Riding
Et
o.
J. W. DRURY.
& COMPANY,
ARIZONA,
Iron Furnisned. Orders by Mnil
and Careful Attention.
of the Bsst Quality at
!ARTH
ARIZONA.
ORE.
MANAGER.
AND !H?0)
-DEALER IN
erehandise.
in thoir lino by.:Mailror Express to