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VOL 2. HILLSBOROUGH, SIERRA COUNTY, N. M DECEWB IR 5, 1885. NO. 40 Dr. IVXintic, TUB SPECIALIST, NoT II KEAKXEYSTREET. -San Francisco, California. Treats alt '.Chronic, Pi i vote 'and Rpeeial Diseases with the same won derful success us of old. THE GREAT ENGLISH REMEDY "jjis a never failii jwJtcure for Nervous iSfll Debility, Exhaust i eu iiaiii v. nom inal ' Weakness, 7i Sli npinin tori liia Jjf r . r i i kosi .iianuoou, J mpoteney, l'aral- vsis.nndall I lie terrible . effect a of aelf abuse, youthful follies and ex cesses in mat uro y nr such an low of hirmory, lassitude. nocttinial mission, evasion to society, dimness of vision, noises in the head, the vi tal fluid passing unobserved in the urine, and many other diseases that lead to inans'y and death. Dr. Mintie, who is a regular grad lotted physician, wiil ugroe to fnrfeit Fiqe Hundred Dollars for a case of this kind the vital Restorative (un der his special advice and treatment) .will not cure, or for anything impute or injurious found in it. Dr. Mintie treats all priveat diseases successful, ly; without mercury. Consultation free. A thorough examination anil advice, including an analysis o( urine $5. Price of Viral Restora tive, $3 a bottle, or four times the quantity. $10; sent to any address upon receipt of price, or C. 0. se cure from observation, and in private name, if desired, by A. E. 5IIXTJE, M. D. v Sample Bottle Free Will be sent to anyone applying b letter, statu. g symptoms, sex and age. Strict secresy in regard lo all ' htisi-j-iess traneaetionsr Dr. Mintie't Kidney Remedy N'ep liretieum cures all kinds of Kidney nd Bladder complaints, GonnrrhuM, Gleet, Leucorihus. For sale bv all druggists; $1 si bottle, six bottles fot . Dr. Mintie's Dandelion' Tills are the best and cheapest "Dyspepsia and Billious cure in the market. For sale by all druggists. "FBIMG LIE ST- LOUIS AND SAN FRANCISCO RAILWAY. - XO CHANGE ' OF ' CA RS- fictneta San Francisco, California, and St. Lonls, Mo. Through Fullm'tn Palace Sleeping Cars are now run dally without chnnge between San Iraucisco Cala.,and St. Louis. Mo. over the Southern l'acific to the The Atlantic and Pacific to Albu querque, N. M.; the Atchison To pekat Santa Fe to Halsteml. Kk&.j (he SL Louis & S'tii Francisco Railroad to ST. LOl'IS. By this linn there is onlv one change ot Cars lietween the Paciho mid Atlantic coasts, w hich is at St. Louis. Passengers for St v- Ijonis antl all Eastern Cities 6hould buy their tickets VIA. HALSTEAD KANSAS, Aud St. l-otis & San Fkasu-to IIt The Great Through Car Koute." PLEAK Tll upon tu Tick Apnt nl e'-l fall yatlim'Ma. -Traia h4n throa-U car fnr at. tonlt )enrr Albaqaerque 1)1I.t t ll:Wp. . - C. W. ROGERS, D. W Isll AR V. P. m an. Mn., G-n'l P- r Hut. . T? "ar.HSt ELLIOTT, PICKETT t ELLIOTT, Attorneys--atLav, Hillsboro, New Mexico MILWAUKEE, WIS. GEO; W. PKCK. i;d:toi- ami I'ropi-lelor The Funniest Paper in Amehica. What Vaccination is lo Small-pox PECK'S SUN is to the blues. "'- PECK'S SUN Is one . of the most widely read and popular papers in the country to-day, and stands without a peer in its specialty Tin1 Oririmtt r of ill- 'Vlebratcd ir.vi iuv ia ix;iH. . . .. . SPECIMEN COPIES THEE To Any Address.' Bear in mind that' by sending a Postal Card to this olfice, t. SAMPLE COPY OF PECK'S SUN Will be mailed you Free. t'.os'T KKELKCT lo cKNO AT ONCK AND TIU. TOUR KXKlHBORa TO. oitTii v rvx rod AniKKSS GEORGE I- LORD, MILWAUKEE. WIS Th vt Terrible Lmb'tnlc. Fever and ague, shatters the most vigorous constitution, and the after effects of the alkaloid often taken to arrest it. oninine. are scarce! v less j pernicious. The best remedy, not alone in malarial stricken region on thisconlinet but abo in those portions of South and ' entral Amer- iea where malarial fever are i...t ! ir valent and niHlignant is Hostet- ter's Stomach Bitter. Its remedial and preventive effects as an opponent of levers are oauik to its tonic in fluence. For sale by all Druggisu and Deal- generally r . TDS,t QIiTISS Caveats, Re-issuess, and TrBde-nirk secured, and all other patent causes in the Tatent Office and before the courts promptly and carefuly attend ed to. Fees Moderate, a.id I make no c harge unless patent is secured. In formation, advice and special refer ences sent on application. J. K. LtTTLK. Washington, D. C. Near U. S. Patent Office. BiflSTITFgit'e CELEBRATED A OYLL MARIUAGE. She Kuew Her Rights and Dared to mum lam i newt Biiltlraorn American. ) As United" States Corn m isgh vn er Uppers was recently enjoying a quiet smoke in his office he sud denly heard a jieculiar sound grad ually approaching, which soon tl veloped into a heavy thump, thump, like the sound of marching men. Then the door opened, and an .old gray -bearded, one-legged soldier, about sixty years of age, stumped into the office on a wooden leg. Behind him came n fut.florid-faeed German woman, dressed very nice ly, but fancifully, with nuite n profusion of ornaments in the way of cheap jewelry. The woman sat down, keeping her eye on the old soldier, ' The old man stood up at the rail, find taking off his hat wiper, his brow of sundry drops of perspiration, and gazed at the commissioner. "Well?" said the commissioner. Said the old veteran: "I come to you. Mr. Rogers, to complain al nut a woman out on the Washington road who hoh'u my pension certi ficate and won't give it to rae be cause I owe her nine dollars board. 1 wiil pay her the money when 1 get my quarter, but I cau"t get it without the certifiicate." "That's against the law,", said the commirfsiener; "she can't hold your certificate.,' - All this time the woman had kepther eye on the man and when the commissioner closed she said;- "Veil, Fleming, now 'you got done with Colonel Rogers?" 'Veil, den, nor we go on mit dot oder business, ny? You knows you promise me tree vear ago for what you would marry mil me, und you go oil und got drunk, attd you not marry mit me. Is dot so?" And and Fleming said "yes." "Und now uey tell me mit Wash ingti'ti to g mit Fleming, dot vas I you, to Colonel Hogeis, und got married by United States lav, and den, no tuattrr vere you go, you could Lo brought back. Now, Fleming, he is here, and I uni here, v it you hHy ?" And Fleming said what the wo man said was true, and he was ready to marry her. , Air, Rogers, who had hard work -Uv Aejepjiji. face straight during the earnest appeul of the womap, tdd the couple he was sorry, but he didn't have the (tower to make them one; "but," said he, "I'll tell vou what 1 will do. I will draw you up a marriage contract. "Will dot do, Fleming?" asked the woman, Al.j j.ei.iin gail, jt ,ouy. , . . , , 1,,en ,,je comnil.ssioner sked what time was to be fixed in the contract for the marrint:e. . "I will marry with nou, Flem ing'" said the woman, "uu the oth of June. Because why? Because on the 4th of June I be bhust for ty-eight years old at twelve o'clock I and i will U married with you t . ten o'clock on the 5tu of June. ill dot do, Fleming?" And Fleming said it ould. The commissioner then produc ed the following: "It is hereby agreetl that Clara L. Smith, residing at No. 52 Little ('arleton street, Baltimore, Md-, agrees to become the wife of Au- drew J. Fleming on the 5th day of Jui e next, aud the said Andrew J. j Fleming agrees te become the bus-, ( band of Clura L. ' Smith on the 5th jdayofJuue next, and each re quest8 tLat Bai(l contract eo made i hi 1. j i 1 btiaii lie leuucen io wmiug hu i hc kuowledged and signed before RobertLyoii Roiers, JJni ted States Commissioner for Marryland," which to gratify said parties and to further the interests of society in the encouragement of marriage, is hereby accordingly .done." , ' When the contract , was being written the woman said: "Now, Colouel Rogers, ven you write 'Smit' you make de cross or. de 'i,' because I am half French and half Ytrninn (German), und because Fleming he is half French and half Yunnan.". The contract was drawn and was signod by both parties, and duly acknowledged by the commission er. "Now, den, Fleming," Baid the womun, "vill you gif me dut fifty dollar ven you get your quarter what you promised mit me, und vill you board mit me?" und Flem ing said he would. ' Und now den, Fleming," said Clara (for the last time), "you got your drunk again, und Colonel Rogers vill send you cross de Falls. Is dot not so?" Aud Fleming, as he went out the door followed by the woman, said lis guessed it was so. ' "Conductah!" bbe called in a languid voice, -resin" "Can you Btop this cah?" t"Ya'i." ,. . - ; fl'hen yon may stop it.Vr j "? les'm," he said, as he rang the bell. "Conductah 1" 6he called, as she looked out of the window. "Yes'm." "Cmii you start this cah?" "Certainly." "Then you may start it. I be lieve 1 will ride to the connah. When L reich the connah you may stop it." Wouldn't Hare Jumped. "Where'z Senca &treet?" inquir ed the tramp. "Its" but just then a terrific crust of wind came scurrvinc up the street, and before he knew it blowed the tramp head over heels into the street. With labored as sistance he was picked up and his hat placed an his head. Then, no- tictng Jt he crowd, which hud assem bled around him, a comical look of dignity and drunken wndom came over his bloated face, and he grave ly inquired of who had materially uided him to regain his feet "Sploz'n?" "No," was the response. "(Hie) fire?" "No." "Earthquake?" "No." "Building fall down, eh?" "No." 'Uorzh run'way?" "No." "Well," Mid lie with an air of gravity, " f kuew zhat 1 (uic) wouau" jumpfnl outVr way like that," nnd he staggered off down Seneca 6treet. Buffalo Courier. Mr. O. V. Flora, of Madison, I n liana, d reamed all about the big fire at Galveston before that dis astious conflagration happened. The papers consider this very re markable indeed. It isn't half so remarkable f s it would have been if Mr. Flora told his dream before he road an account of the fixe. Ex An Experience' on the Train. "Just think o it," he growled, with disgust written on every lin of his face. "1 was coming out of St. Louis the other day, and, tho cor being crowded, -1-gave- h alf iwy seat to a demure little widow." "How do you know she was a widow?" "She told me bo. She said she was awfully afraid of being rob bed, und knowiuu by my fuco that I was an honest man she wanted me to take charge of Uer uortemon naie until we reached Chicago." "And you did?" "Am I not a fool? Yes, I did, aud as she passed it over sweetly suid: There's exactly $90 in it.' "We rode into Chicago without leaving our seats. As we run i n the city 1 handed her the puiee. She opeued it und counted tbj mcuev." "Why, there isn't but $50 here!" she said, as she looked up at me. "Uut 1 haven't taken any." " Well, 1 am $-40 short, as you roe. remaps you can explain to the police." " i ! . "And what dnl you do?" . "1 gave her the )f40, of course. Please kick me a few hundred times. Exchuuge. , The Hat Exploded, "Speaking of nitro-glycerine," said Dr. Roberts, the oil torpedo man, to a gioup of legislators in Warren the other day, "and its ex plosive droperties reminds me of one incident of fhwuiirtit that I could relate regarding it. At the factory where the oil well torpedoes are made we strain the nitro-glyc-enne through the crown of a felt hat, and w hen the hat has served its purpose we destroy it. Ono day some of the workmen, instead of destroying the hat, washed it thoroughly and treiited it with al kalis in order to destroy the effect of the nitro-glycerine Some two years afterward one of the men ran across the hat, and his curios ity was excited as t whether it would explode if struck a hard blow. He placed it on one of the iron arms that sun out from thft tinner's bench in the factory and struck it, while his' compunion't. looked' on in wonderment. He struck it twiee without any result, Dutthe third time it expoded, blew the iron arm through a brick wall, kocked the man down and broke both of his arms, and wrecked the interior of the tin Bhop." Ex. "What's the matter, Tom?" "Mutter enouch. Smith's dog bit me a minute ago." "Smith's dog bit you? Good gra cious man! that dog is mad!" "The duce you sny! He ain't any madder than I nra. I'm the one to be mud. If I had bitten the dog he inigh have had a good excuse to 2t mad." "But the dog has hydrophobia." "What's hydrophobia?" "It means, liierully, in fear of water." " Wei I, what do " you care how much that dog is afraid of water? I wish he was afraid of me."; 1 "Oh! you dou't understand. You are liable to catch it from the dog.' ' "No, Tin not; but "he s liable? 'to catch it from hie as Boon ' as T enn borrow a gun." ' ' "Oh, pshaw! This fear of water, you are liable to have it ' " "No, I'm a cold-water Baptist" Newman Independent.