Sierra County advocate. [volume], December 05, 1885, Image 1

About Sierra County advocate. [volume] (Kingston, N.M.) 1884-1960

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Ottm
VOL 2.
HILLSBOROUGH, SIERRA COUNTY, N. M DECEWB IR 5, 1885.
NO. 40
Dr. IVXintic,
TUB SPECIALIST,
NoT II KEAKXEYSTREET. -San
Francisco, California.
Treats alt '.Chronic, Pi i vote 'and
Rpeeial Diseases with the same won
derful success us of old.
THE GREAT ENGLISH REMEDY
"jjis a never failii
jwJtcure for Nervous
iSfll Debility, Exhaust
i eu iiaiii v. nom
inal ' Weakness,
7i Sli npinin tori liia
Jjf r . r i i
kosi .iianuoou,
J mpoteney, l'aral-
vsis.nndall I lie terrible . effect a of
aelf abuse, youthful follies and ex
cesses in mat uro y nr such an low
of hirmory, lassitude. nocttinial
mission, evasion to society, dimness
of vision, noises in the head, the vi
tal fluid passing unobserved in the
urine, and many other diseases that
lead to inans'y and death.
Dr. Mintie, who is a regular grad
lotted physician, wiil ugroe to fnrfeit
Fiqe Hundred Dollars for a case of
this kind the vital Restorative (un
der his special advice and treatment)
.will not cure, or for anything impute
or injurious found in it. Dr. Mintie
treats all priveat diseases successful,
ly; without mercury. Consultation
free. A thorough examination anil
advice, including an analysis o(
urine $5. Price of Viral Restora
tive, $3 a bottle, or four times the
quantity. $10; sent to any address
upon receipt of price, or C. 0. se
cure from observation, and in private
name, if desired, by A. E. 5IIXTJE,
M. D.
v Sample Bottle Free
Will be sent to anyone applying b
letter, statu. g symptoms, sex and age.
Strict secresy in regard lo all ' htisi-j-iess
traneaetionsr
Dr. Mintie't Kidney Remedy N'ep
liretieum cures all kinds of Kidney
nd Bladder complaints, GonnrrhuM,
Gleet, Leucorihus. For sale bv all
druggists; $1 si bottle, six bottles fot
.
Dr. Mintie's Dandelion' Tills are
the best and cheapest "Dyspepsia and
Billious cure in the market. For
sale by all druggists.
"FBIMG LIE
ST- LOUIS AND SAN FRANCISCO
RAILWAY.
- XO CHANGE ' OF ' CA RS-
fictneta San Francisco, California, and
St. Lonls, Mo.
Through Fullm'tn Palace Sleeping
Cars are now run dally without
chnnge between San Iraucisco
Cala.,and St. Louis. Mo. over
the Southern l'acific to the
The Atlantic and Pacific to Albu
querque, N. M.; the Atchison To
pekat Santa Fe to Halsteml.
Kk&.j (he SL Louis & S'tii
Francisco Railroad to
ST. LOl'IS.
By this linn there is onlv one change
ot Cars lietween the Paciho mid
Atlantic coasts, w hich is at St.
Louis. Passengers for St
v- Ijonis antl all Eastern
Cities 6hould buy their tickets
VIA. HALSTEAD KANSAS,
Aud St. l-otis & San Fkasu-to IIt
The Great Through Car Koute."
PLEAK Tll upon tu Tick Apnt nl e'-l
fall yatlim'Ma. -Traia h4n throa-U car
fnr at. tonlt )enrr Albaqaerque 1)1I.t t
ll:Wp. . -
C. W. ROGERS, D. W Isll AR
V. P. m an. Mn., G-n'l P- r
Hut. . T? "ar.HSt
ELLIOTT, PICKETT t ELLIOTT,
Attorneys--atLav,
Hillsboro,
New Mexico
MILWAUKEE, WIS.
GEO; W. PKCK.
i;d:toi- ami I'ropi-lelor
The Funniest Paper in Amehica.
What Vaccination is lo Small-pox
PECK'S SUN is to the blues.
"'-
PECK'S SUN
Is one . of the most widely read and
popular papers in the country
to-day, and stands without
a peer in its specialty
Tin1 Oririmtt r of ill- 'Vlebratcd
ir.vi iuv ia ix;iH.
. . .. .
SPECIMEN COPIES THEE
To Any Address.'
Bear in mind that' by sending a
Postal Card to this olfice, t.
SAMPLE COPY OF PECK'S SUN
Will be mailed you Free.
t'.os'T KKELKCT lo cKNO AT ONCK AND TIU.
TOUR KXKlHBORa TO.
oitTii v rvx rod
AniKKSS
GEORGE I- LORD,
MILWAUKEE.
WIS
Th vt Terrible Lmb'tnlc.
Fever and ague, shatters the most
vigorous constitution, and the
after
effects of the alkaloid often taken
to arrest it. oninine. are scarce! v less
j pernicious. The best remedy, not
alone in malarial stricken region
on thisconlinet but abo in those
portions of South and ' entral Amer-
iea where malarial fever are i...t !
ir valent and niHlignant is Hostet-
ter's Stomach Bitter. Its remedial
and preventive effects as an opponent
of levers are oauik to its tonic in
fluence. For sale by all Druggisu and Deal-
generally
r .
TDS,t QIiTISS
Caveats, Re-issuess, and TrBde-nirk
secured, and all other patent causes
in the Tatent Office and before the
courts promptly and carefuly attend
ed to.
Fees Moderate, a.id I make no
c harge unless patent is secured. In
formation, advice and special refer
ences sent on application.
J. K. LtTTLK.
Washington, D. C.
Near U. S. Patent Office.
BiflSTITFgit'e
CELEBRATED
A OYLL MARIUAGE.
She Kuew Her Rights and Dared to
mum lam i newt
Biiltlraorn American. )
As United" States Corn m isgh vn er
Uppers was recently enjoying a
quiet smoke in his office he sud
denly heard a jieculiar sound grad
ually approaching, which soon tl
veloped into a heavy thump, thump,
like the sound of marching men.
Then the door opened, and an .old
gray -bearded, one-legged soldier,
about sixty years of age, stumped
into the office on a wooden leg.
Behind him came n fut.florid-faeed
German woman, dressed very nice
ly, but fancifully, with nuite n
profusion of ornaments in the way
of cheap jewelry. The woman sat
down, keeping her eye on the old
soldier, ' The old man stood up at
the rail, find taking off his hat
wiper, his brow of sundry drops of
perspiration, and gazed at the
commissioner.
"Well?" said the commissioner.
Said the old veteran: "I come to
you. Mr. Rogers, to complain al nut
a woman out on the Washington
road who hoh'u my pension certi
ficate and won't give it to rae be
cause I owe her nine dollars board.
1 wiil pay her the money when 1
get my quarter, but I cau"t get it
without the certifiicate."
"That's against the law,", said
the commirfsiener; "she can't hold
your certificate.,' -
All this time the woman had
kepther eye on the man and when
the commissioner closed she said;-
"Veil, Fleming, now 'you got
done with Colonel Rogers?"
'Veil, den, nor we go on mit
dot oder business, ny? You knows
you promise me tree vear ago for
what you would marry mil me, und
you go oil und got drunk, attd you
not marry mit me. Is dot so?"
And and Fleming said "yes."
"Und now uey tell me mit Wash
ingti'ti to g mit Fleming, dot vas
I you, to Colonel Hogeis, und got
married by United States lav, and
den, no tuattrr vere you go, you
could Lo brought back. Now,
Fleming, he is here, and I uni here,
v it you hHy ?"
And Fleming said what the wo
man said was true, and he was
ready to marry her. ,
Air, Rogers, who had hard work
-Uv Aejepjiji. face straight during
the earnest appeul of the womap,
tdd the couple he was sorry, but
he didn't have the (tower to make
them one; "but," said he, "I'll tell
vou what 1 will do. I will draw
you up a marriage contract.
"Will dot do, Fleming?" asked
the woman,
Al.j j.ei.iin gail, jt ,ouy.
, . . , ,
1,,en ,,je comnil.ssioner sked
what time was to be fixed in the
contract for the marrint:e. .
"I will marry with nou, Flem
ing'" said the woman, "uu the oth
of June. Because why? Because
on the 4th of June I be bhust for
ty-eight years old at twelve o'clock I
and i will U married with you t .
ten o'clock on the 5tu of June.
ill dot do, Fleming?"
And Fleming said it ould.
The commissioner then produc
ed the following:
"It is hereby agreetl that Clara
L. Smith, residing at No. 52 Little
('arleton street, Baltimore, Md-,
agrees to become the wife of Au-
drew J. Fleming on the 5th day of
Jui e next, aud the said Andrew J. j
Fleming agrees te become the bus-,
( band of Clura L. ' Smith on the 5th
jdayofJuue next, and each re
quest8 tLat Bai(l contract eo made
i hi 1. j i 1
btiaii lie leuucen io wmiug hu i hc
kuowledged and signed before
RobertLyoii Roiers, JJni ted States
Commissioner for Marryland,"
which to gratify said parties and to
further the interests of society in
the encouragement of marriage, is
hereby accordingly .done." ,
' When the contract , was being
written the woman said: "Now,
Colouel Rogers, ven you write
'Smit' you make de cross or. de 'i,'
because I am half French and half
Ytrninn (German), und because
Fleming he is half French and
half Yunnan.".
The contract was drawn and was
signod by both parties, and duly
acknowledged by the commission
er. "Now, den, Fleming," Baid the
womun, "vill you gif me dut fifty
dollar ven you get your quarter
what you promised mit me, und
vill you board mit me?" und Flem
ing said he would.
' Und now den, Fleming," said
Clara (for the last time), "you got
your drunk again, und Colonel
Rogers vill send you cross de Falls.
Is dot not so?" Aud Fleming, as
he went out the door followed by
the woman, said lis guessed it was
so. '
"Conductah!" bbe called in a
languid voice,
-resin"
"Can you Btop this cah?"
t"Ya'i." ,. . - ;
fl'hen yon may stop it.Vr j "?
les'm," he said, as he rang the
bell.
"Conductah 1" 6he called, as she
looked out of the window.
"Yes'm."
"Cmii you start this cah?"
"Certainly."
"Then you may start it. I be
lieve 1 will ride to the connah.
When L reich the connah you may
stop it."
Wouldn't Hare Jumped.
"Where'z Senca &treet?" inquir
ed the tramp.
"Its" but just then a terrific
crust of wind came scurrvinc up
the street, and before he knew it
blowed the tramp head over heels
into the street. With labored as
sistance he was picked up and his
hat placed an his head. Then, no-
tictng Jt he crowd, which hud assem
bled around him, a comical look of
dignity and drunken wndom came
over his bloated face, and he grave
ly inquired of who had materially
uided him to regain his feet
"Sploz'n?"
"No," was the response.
"(Hie) fire?"
"No."
"Earthquake?"
"No."
"Building fall down, eh?"
"No."
'Uorzh run'way?"
"No."
"Well," Mid lie with an air of
gravity, " f kuew zhat 1 (uic)
wouau" jumpfnl outVr way like
that," nnd he staggered off down
Seneca 6treet. Buffalo Courier.
Mr. O. V. Flora, of Madison,
I n liana, d reamed all about the big
fire at Galveston before that dis
astious conflagration happened.
The papers consider this very re
markable indeed. It isn't half so
remarkable f s it would have been
if Mr. Flora told his dream before
he road an account of the fixe. Ex
An Experience' on the Train.
"Just think o it," he growled,
with disgust written on every lin
of his face. "1 was coming out of
St. Louis the other day, and, tho
cor being crowded, -1-gave- h alf iwy
seat to a demure little widow."
"How do you know she was a
widow?"
"She told me bo. She said she
was awfully afraid of being rob
bed, und knowiuu by my fuco that
I was an honest man she wanted
me to take charge of Uer uortemon
naie until we reached Chicago."
"And you did?"
"Am I not a fool? Yes, I did,
aud as she passed it over sweetly
suid:
There's exactly $90 in it.'
"We rode into Chicago without
leaving our seats. As we run i n
the city 1 handed her the puiee.
She opeued it und counted tbj
mcuev."
"Why, there isn't but $50 here!"
she said, as she looked up at me.
"Uut 1 haven't taken any."
" Well, 1 am $-40 short, as you
roe. remaps you can explain to
the police." " i ! .
"And what dnl you do?" .
"1 gave her the )f40, of course.
Please kick me a few hundred
times. Exchuuge. ,
The Hat Exploded,
"Speaking of nitro-glycerine,"
said Dr. Roberts, the oil torpedo
man, to a gioup of legislators in
Warren the other day, "and its ex
plosive droperties reminds me of
one incident of fhwuiirtit that I
could relate regarding it. At the
factory where the oil well torpedoes
are made we strain the nitro-glyc-enne
through the crown of a felt
hat, and w hen the hat has served
its purpose we destroy it. Ono
day some of the workmen, instead
of destroying the hat, washed it
thoroughly and treiited it with al
kalis in order to destroy the effect
of the nitro-glycerine Some two
years afterward one of the men
ran across the hat, and his curios
ity was excited as t whether it
would explode if struck a hard
blow. He placed it on one of the
iron arms that sun out from thft
tinner's bench in the factory and
struck it, while his' compunion't.
looked' on in wonderment. He
struck it twiee without any result,
Dutthe third time it expoded, blew
the iron arm through a brick wall,
kocked the man down and broke
both of his arms, and wrecked the
interior of the tin Bhop." Ex.
"What's the matter, Tom?"
"Mutter enouch. Smith's dog bit
me a minute ago."
"Smith's dog bit you? Good gra
cious man! that dog is mad!"
"The duce you sny! He ain't any
madder than I nra. I'm the one to
be mud. If I had bitten the dog
he inigh have had a good excuse to
2t mad."
"But the dog has hydrophobia."
"What's hydrophobia?"
"It means, liierully, in fear of
water."
" Wei I, what do " you care how
much that dog is afraid of water?
I wish he was afraid of me."; 1
"Oh! you dou't understand. You
are liable to catch it from the dog.' '
"No, Tin not; but "he s liable? 'to
catch it from hie as Boon ' as T enn
borrow a gun." ' '
"Oh, pshaw! This fear of water,
you are liable to have it ' "
"No, I'm a cold-water Baptist"
Newman Independent.