Sierra County advocate. [volume], October 02, 1886, Image 1

About Sierra County advocate. [volume] (Kingston, N.M.) 1884-1960

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VOLUME IV.
HILLSBOROUGH, N. M., OCTOBER 2, 188.
NO. 32.
MUCH TOO MUSICAL.
When vounir, I onrr went (tone in lor
And thought H n glorr:
Thi' pr dp of my heart m inns nil dovo
, nun iue uiinum nnu.e or hi iv.
Sweet MIm." 1 Blil. n a slirli I drew,
"Von are a rcr tlmn others lie,
Ani allow in hv, l :n in love wllh roiij
And olio .aid, "Vou can not uii nn mK"
Why. certainly, re., most assuredly no,
I confess t li hi you cluii in me. nud ah,
Won't vou permit me to he your benu:'
She tuned up her voice and paid "fit."
'Mm believe me. my inr, my oul of late
books only to you for lis itonl,
And ions'. 10 erown you queen of its fate."
She Hi; id, "Have you g-ot a mitT"
"A soul nnd heart thut lire loth your own
Till till' frozen one shall tiniiv,
)r the frost eoiiireulx the torr d xmio."
She .nrieked uud itulil, "till, lit.' "
"All ihe -irl in the world beside
- Are a nothniK unto tne;"
' But in a provoking way she replied:
you're a n nny, don't jou HI"
1 turned nwnv, ityinir, '! am done
W.tbyou, I'd have you know."
the lauithed, nnd naiil in a crusty lone,
"Jn'ut done, but only tin."
A.. II'. 11, line, in Detroit Frte Pi f4,
IIIDDKX VALUABLES.
The Curious Places in Which
Wealth la Concealed.
Trca.ure Stored Away In Old Stocking',,
llrlik Oven, and Wiignn Tops The r.
rullar Ways of the Tovetous
anil Cranky."
"I've had n good ileal of experience
in hunting for money that folks have
concealed," sail a gentleman visiting
nt Park street in Lcwiston the other
day, "and 1 just as lief tell jou what I
know about it as not."
"Fifty years ago folks, especially
the elderly people, took the utmost
pains to hide money. Old stockings,
liriek ovens, old wagon tops, china
tca-jiols, the tops of bedsteads, hair
cloth furniture used always to come in
for a big (share of investigation after
the dear departed had turned up his
toes and had been laid away. From
that moment, as you well know, the
limit began, and folks rummaged the
house and pulled open the feather beds
in Heal eh of Ihe silver shiners, the.
beautiful yellow boys or the crisp bank
( notes that it ;s supposed the lamciit
ed deceased had left behind. I sup
pose that this instinct of concealing
wealth nnd of searching for it was tired
out of a well founded suspicion of the
(safety of the old-time savings banks,
and they were rascally things, n J
well know. Of course "the hiding in
tinct was transmitted from father to
Kin. and in my w ay of reasoning the
war of the rebellion had more to do
with stopping this foolish plan of hoard
ing money than any other one thing.
It openeii up more old stocking legs
and old colonial gold than a hundred
years of peace would have done, and
Vet I don t doubt, from my own experi
ence, that there are countless stores of
gold buried in places in Massachusetts
and .Maine to-day.
I could count up any quantity of
families who believe that a secret
hoard, left by a mysterious deceased
ancestor, exists somewhere for them.
I believe that Captain Kidd's treasure
is awaiting the coining of somebody
keen enough to discover it, don't you?''
And here the gentleman in the arm
chair winked mysteriously, laughed at
his own conceit, and continued:
"A funny scheme, in which I once
eaiue pretty near being interested, was
a flock company formed in Pennsylva
nia, where 1 was then living. It was
designed to make a specialty of hunt
ing up concealed treasures. 1 did
sonic work for llieni and a partner and
were pretty successful there, and in
New York Mate."
How do you go to work?"
"Well, it is hard to say. You have
to lie guided by circumstances. Strange,
mental freaks exist in some families.
Yon perhaps know people who are
built the wrong way. I used to know
a Lcwiston family of misers, extremely
narrow and stingy, and yet would take
r.o core of the hay in the field or the
rattle in the sUll." Wn had to sort of
learn human nature. (let lirst at the
habits of the man whose wealth you
are seeking to find. It's the best clew
vou have.
I once was called b the friends of
an insane man to look after his monev.
He had hidden it while supposedly
in his right mind, and when
the symptoms of his insanity came
the nftuicy could not be! found,
and he could not be'induecd to divulge.
The family began totifl"er for want of
funds, and Ihey tried to starve him
into telling, but that only seemed to
tileasn him.' When I was called I
1 1...l II .,U'f
j'li'.ii u. ui- i' I'liiuu i i.iir ".'ii
the subject, but the moment it
was mentioned at once flew into
a passion. I laid in wait for him, and
didn't discover him doing any thing
that would lead to a clew. I finally
rigged a plan, and one day I showed
bim suddenly a roll of paper with a
bill around it so that it looked like a
wad of money, remarking as I did so:
Wc stumbled" on your hidden pile the
the.r day.'
He gave one quick glance.
It was directly into the corner of
the room near the floor. He then
Minuted. 'Yon lie!" and laughed glee
fully at nie. I had him guarded that
night, and while hu was asleep we
j tilled aside the carpet and discovered
a par-el in the wall and In it his wealth.
w.i sure that we would laid It in Hip
fo"ll, f',.T hi!'' Mti If Won't) ,t
:itislicd to stay in any place where he
could not bo in sight of his hidden
treasure.
"1 was once sent to take care of n
curious case in Massachusetts. It was
twenty years ago. A wealthy man was
stricken with paralysis. He was about
to deposit some twenty-nine thousand
dollars in money and bonds when
he was stricken down. The heirs
were wild. He couldn't recall a
thing. All that was known was that
lie ww found sitting on the front hall
stairs, bereft of mind and speech. We
couldn't make any thing out of him.
lie had no money. We made a hunt at
random over the house, through the
barns and stables. We about made up
our minds that he had been robbed.
We stopped the furniture-breaking and
cushion-pricking business and were
hesitating whether or not to make ar
rests or search for some systematic
clew. For my part, as I remember, 1
was conlident he had been robbed, most
probably after the stroke of paralysis,
and 1 was not sure that some attack
from a robber had not precipitated the
paralysis. We sought the doctors and
examined the man s person. A long
black and blue mark was on his hip;
another was on his forehead. A sliver
of blue-painted wood was on his cloth
ing. Wo started out to hunt. We
tried Ihe pump, the clothes-reel and
every thing else. Fina.ly, down in a
barn cellar among boxes and barrels
I came across an old dump-cart lop.
'Here's the article,' said I. Wc turned
the thing out into the light, and there
in a pile of manure we found the packet
of money and bonds where the para
lytic had fallen and where the packet
had slipped from his pocket.
"My partner and 1 divided two
thousand dollars between us that even-
in ir.
"Did you ever read Edgar A. Poe's
tale about the search of the 1 aris l'o
lioe Commissioners after a mysterious
letter? Well, there is a good deal of
philosophy in hiding things. J ve
often thought of the old saying: 'If it
had been a bear it would have bitten
you.' The, very hardest things to find
are often tile plainest before you. It's
like playing odd and even. You give
the opponent too much credit for too
much (or it is not enough) sagacity. 1
well' remember another case where at
tempts of all kinds hare been made to
find the wealth otf an old miser in J
street, ltostoii, mid that after months
and months of hunting it was brushed
one day from a dusty old shelf above
the mantelpiece littered with papers,
periodicals and worthless stuff". He
put it. in plain sight, and nobody
thought it possible that it was worth
while to look there.
"A sailor will almost always hide
his money about him. Irish women
always sew bills into their petticoats.
I once went into Kow Hampshire to
hunt for the money of a retired sea
caplaiii who had died very suddenly.
lie had been a queer sort ot man, very
taciturn, always taking trips out of
town after his money. He wish t a
miserly man, and I concluded that he
hadn't buried it. He slept in no one
particular place, and so 1 was pretty
sure that, there was no place in the
bouse where he felt, better contented
than another. So I said, 'Bring his
clothes.' We went over them. The
binding on one of them was wide, and
his wife said, as I tore, it off, 'He al
ways sewed his clothes up himself.
He Was as handy as a woman with a
needle. Queer.' She added: 'Why,
he always wanted to wear that suit to
the last. Poor dear,' and she dropped
a tear. In the meantime I had pulled
out an oiled silk packet, holding six
bonds for one thousand dollars each,
and we found eighteen more in the
same suit. His trips to town meant
.something, you see.
"Of course there are men who bury
money. Such men always have its
hiding place marked off, and ten to
one, they want it buried where they
-an see, as soon as they can sec any
thing in the morning, that some thief
has not discovered its hiding place in
the night and made off with it. You
can put it down that men who conceal
money like to have it as near at hand
ns possible. I have known money to
lie concealed in the clock in the bed
room, and so arranged that no one
could touch the clock without alarm
ing the lioilci hold. If a man who hides
bis money has any special idiosyncrasy
it is safe to look it up. The more ig
norant and crafty your man, the safer
to go by his crankiness."
"What sort of places have you
known of money beirg bidden?"
'), everywhere! In the upholstery
and bedding, under carpets, behind the
door casings, between partitions, or
behind the wall paper, in the old fam
ily Bibles, behind mirrors, nailed to
the walls, in false ceilings, in false
bottom drawers, in clocks, stoves, lin
ings of old hats, steam radiators (dis
used), bottles marked 'poison,' canes,
shoe.'., vest and mat lining', tomato
cans, tea canisters, powder horns, old
stocking feet, and in every other con
ceivable place.
"The ways of the covetous are many
and their tricks are dark and pecu
liar." I.ewiston (Me.) Journal,
m m
At Oranzevillu the women cru
saders visited a hotel and tried by
praving to induce the proprietor to
close the place. It is said that the
proprietor invited the ladies to seats
and a-ked them to pray, and he him
self offered a prayer, in which he dealt
very severely with the follies and vani
ties of women. Toronto Utotit.
Nathan B. Moore, a Maine hunter,
aged sixty-eight, lnu killed two bun.
lll'tiil and feveiitj-'fivr) WOOo since Lit
UNCLE SAM'S BOOKS.
guiua iirlo.il le of a Lengthy Iliiimiieiit
Keeently Issued by the tliiveriimeiit.
The House of representatives, on
July 27, passed a resolution calling
upon the Secretary of the Treasury for
a statement of balances due to and
from the (iovernment of the United
States. The answer, which was very
voluminous, was sent to the Public
Printer, and the work of placing it in
type was completed a few days ago.
The fact that certain sums are charged
against individuals as due the United
States does not indicate that the per
sons so charged with indebtedness have
profited by the amount involved or that
thev owe the money. In the great
majority of eases the accounts are held
up awaiting the settlement of some
technical question as to the legality of
the expenditure.
Among those who are carried as
debtors on the treasury ledgers are:
President, John Adams, who owes
12,X!lX on account of "household ex
penses;"' Major-tieneral Lafayette, who
owes .t4,X'.i,"i, on account of an overpay
ment made to bim, and Kdiiiuud
Randolph, Secretary of Slate, who
owes til, :).".", on' account of va
rious expenditures made before
18:il. The diplomatic, and par
ticularly the literary men, who have
been sent abroad as Ministers and Con
suls, seem to be more generally in debt
to the (iovernmeiit than any ot'herelass
of public Kerrants. .Janus Kusscll
Lowell owes .f.llt.liX ill his account as
Minister to (ireat Britain in lxx.'i; John
Lathrop Motley owes 2,4!IX as Minis
ter to (ireat. Hritain in 1X71: Kevcrdy
Johnson owes $;,;1XX as Minister to
(ireat Britain in ixfy; Bayard Taylor
owes $102 as Minister to Germany in
1X711; Washington Irving owes II cents
as Minister to Spain in 1X47; Alexan
der Everett owes K'.t:t as Minister to
Spain iu 1X;!1; Ninian Edwards, Minis
ter to Mexico in 1X2(', owes ..)2f; James
Gadsden, Minister to Mexico in K.ri7,
owes 9.i40; Andrew J. Curtin, Minister
to Kussia in 1X72, owes !MI; E. W.
Stoughton, Minister to Kussia in 1X71),
owes $12,160; John Bussell Young,
Minister to China in ixx.'j, is debited
with !r,14.'iand is credited with ."07;
Stephen A. Hurlbnrt, Minister to the
United States of Colombia, is debited
with l;l,2-.'X in 1X71 and 7.000 in 1X72;
James A. Bayard, Envoy to Client, is
debited with" 100; Adam Badeau is
debited with 10,.r)72 as Consul
General to London iu 1XX2 and with
tUG.') as Consul-General to Havana
in lXXt; William 1. Howells is debited
with $24 as Consul to Venice in lXti.'t
and credited with 71 in bis account
for lX(j,r); John S. Mosby is debited
with 2,11X as Consul to" Hong Kong
iu 1 HS.r) ; Thomas J. Brady owes the
(iovernment $.'1.7'! as Consul to St.
Thomas in 1X74; Titian J. Coffee is debit
ed with $l,'.l'.tO as Secretary of Legation
nt. St. Petersburg in lX7f) and 1X71;
Beverly Tucker is debited with 21,2154
as Consul at Liverpool in lX(i2, and
Simon Wolf with 21l.i as Consul Gen
eral at Cairo in 1XX2.
On the the other hand the statement
shows that the (iovernment owes John
Quincv Adams $1, fit Hi, as Minister to
Kussia" Iu 1X1X; Alphonso Taft, l,!H0,
as Minister to Kussia in 1HH,"; John
M. F'raneis, as Minster to Austria in
lXXj, !;t,000; Edward F. Beale, as Min
ister to Austria in 1X77, $1.11; John A.
Bingham, as Minister to Japan in lXX.'s
t.'.lOO; John Howard Payne, as Consul
at Tunis in lX.W, 20.".'J2; Bret Harte,
as Consul at Glasgow in lHHj, glttA.!!!,
and Henry Bergh, as Secretary of Le
gation at St. Petersburg in lX(i."i,
l:),".44. Oho of the largest debits in
the list is Francis E. Spinner, Treas
urer of the United States, :ixil,2li7.4ti,
on account of bullion deposited with
A. J. Quirot, treasurer of the mint in
Xew Orleans, in ixtifi. Dr. George B.
Loring's disputed account for 20.
HOX.X'.I, ns Commissioner of Agricul
ture, is, of course, charged tip against
him. iVashinton Cor. Chiano Jkrattl.
m -
GERMAN STUDENTS.
A Heidelberg rrnfe..ir Makes nil Kffort to
Ite.lriet Their Liberty.
The students who have been revel
ing in the contents of the great tun at
Heidelberg of late have been made
sober again, as well hh indignant, by
an effort made by Prof. Schmollcr to
restrict their liberty. At present the
German .student is absolutely master of
his time. He is indeed obliged to put
down his name for a certain number of
lrcture courses every term or pay for
them, but the matter of attendance is
left entirely to his own discretion. Tluv;
consequence is that professors Ireouy-nt-lv
lecture before empty boxc.v'Oiough
they have a large number of students
on their lists who prefer to waste their
time in beer gardens and defer study
till a few weeks before examination.
Students are obliged to get Hie profes
sor's signature in their books both at
the beginning and the end of the term,
and Prof. Schmollcr says it has re
peatedly happened to him that applica
tion for these final signatures was made
to bim by students who took him for
another professor a statement which
seems to establish the probability of the
story of the man who visited his son at
the university and took a drive through
town. Passing a large building the
father asked what that was. The son
did not know and appealed to the cab
man. "That," was Ihe reply, "is the
University." A'. V. 1'ost.
William M. Singerly, of the Phila
delphia .'ccon, has sixty-six dwelling
lioimui ir) pour.t; of erection l' thai
BROTHER GARDNER.
I'lie Limekiln ( lull Nage' View, on Maori
liimilal Affair..
Brudder Amibad Cantilever, it am
reported dat you am about to take un
lo ycrself a wife. Dat de report am
true our recent ackshuns am proof.
You has bin seen priein' second
hand stoves, squintin'at fo' dollar bed
room sweets an' rusllin' aroiin' arter
bric-a-brac. Marriage am liutlin' you
need be ashamed of, an' 1 reckon you
kin depend on (lis club to warm up de
house fer you an' leave behind some
hard-botloined cheers an' a few articles
of tinware.
lii'iidder Cantilever, marriage am a
lottery or a dead-sure thing -jiet as
you make It. If you git stuck on sight
'-fall in luv wid 'a gal fur her small
feet, taiierin' waist, dimpled chin or
warblin moiif, an' marry her off-hand
at about twelve weeks' not is, you
needn't be astonished if dar am a dyna
mite 'sploshuu afore you hev bin
bitched a week. Small feel an' a good
temper doan' alius go together. Slim
waists an' kitchen economy may not
work in de same harness, De gal w ho
charms you by de way she drums do
planner may flatly refuse, as a wife, to
run tlem same lingers ober de wash
bo'd. Firstly, doan' git married until
you know what you are bein' jined to.
Study de gal. Let de feet go an" wateli
her temper. Let de bangs go an'
watch her economy. Neither you mind
about de way she dimples her chin, but
ax ycrself if she'll make de bed wid de
toot lower dan de head. You has got
to do al! de studyin". So one gal out
of a thousand eber stops to sie up a
luver. If Ins (jrecian iiosi orcuriyliar
ordroopin' mustache strikes her fancy
she'll neither stop to study his niitur'
nor to worry ober his habits. Shi; is
marryin' dat nose, or head, or mus
tache. A month arter marriage, when
he hauls her aroiin' by do hair an' slaps
her dimpled jaw she's perfectly aston
ished to think she made sieh a mis
take. Secondly, Brudder CiWililever, arter
de knot has bin tied, make up yer mind
da' (I,, fucher won't lie all plain sniliu'.
You are gwilie to be tried an' tested an'
triibliled, an' vou hev to call up all yer
manhood. Vou will h'ar de sasscr
scrapin' de bottom ob de flour bar'l
when you hcve'nl got a cent in yer
pocket! De woodpile will run out in
Jiuuary, an' de sugar an'de bacon will
seem to be c.nr'ied off by tie rats. If
yer wife am eber so good-natured she
will hev her trials an' tribuhishtins, an'
dnr may be times when she'll rixupau'
claw fur you. In de y'ar.s gone by inv
oln woman has rushed upon me wid do
rollin' pin, an' I has retorted in a way
to make her ears ache, but all de time
1 knowed she was savin' an' good-hearted,
tin' slii' knowed I'd empty my pock
ets of tie las' shillin' to buy her a new
set of false frizzes. If you am suited to
each odder an oecashunal row in de
fam'ly will prove a stii kin' plaster to
hold you de clnsser together. If you
ain't suited -if you diskiver dat you
hev struck a patch of Canada thistles
an' can't sot still, an' if de odder party
diskivers dat she has taken a tumble
oil' de monument of Konianee an'
brought up wid a thud in de mudholt)
of Keality, you jist absquatulate apart,
(io quietly an' decently and get un
hitched by divorce, and let de wisdom
gained by experience stan' at yer right
hand when ye make anodcr choice.
Brudder Cantilever, my feeliu's an' do
feelin's of dis club am wid ye, an' our
good wishes, togelher wid at least two
dollars' wurlb of tinware, kin be count
ed on wheiicber de fatal occashun ar
roves. lh trait Fre I'renn.
A LAWLESS LIFE.
The One rleileeiiilu Vlrliie of a, rriifi'.ilun
al Criminal.
Sometimes, when I think what a
lawless life mine has been, I wonder
that the respeclableoutlaws with w hom
1 am most intimately associated in so
cial, religious and political circles have
not elected me chief of the baud. I
think nothing of defying those in aiir
thority; I "sass" the President, scotl
at Congress, bully the L gislatuic, and
transgress the laws of the land daily.
I drive across the bridge "faster th".. a
walk," and openly sneer at t,l live
dollars' fine wilhwiiic.h the sgn-latard
threatens me. I have wVikcd "on the
grass" in F'airniount Park; in Central
Park I have "phi Kcd a leaf, flower or
shrub." I ,.V.ive "stood on the front
platform""'' for many miles; I have
talked to the man at the wheel;" I
Mve "got on and off the cars while in
motion;" 1 have "smoked abaft this
shaft;" I have refused to "keep mov
ing on Brooklyn bridge; I have neglect
ed to clear the snow from my side
walk; I have dumped ashes into the
alley at early dawn; I do not muzzle
mv doe;, and last year he was not reg
istered; I do not always "turn to the
right" when I am driving; 1 do not al
ways procure tickets licfore entering
the cars; I have not worked out my
road tax this year why, 1 can't begin
to tell one-half my lawless acts. No
wonder that I sympathize with the
Anarchists, nor that good people
people who never do wrong regard
me with suspicion. But one virtue,
even though it may be considered a
negative one, I insert here as a saving
clause. I have never overstated the
value of my property to the assessor.
Utiriltttf, in Uroukhn Etj
- Book-binder Will you have t
Imund in Turkey or Morocco? Purchaser-O
mercy, no! What's the use
of sending it away oil" thf re? lluve, it
bv!lMJ, l NrjW V'Tki 'i'H-lJ'l',
PERSONAL AND IMPERSONAL.
John A. Logan, Jr., has become a
partner in a real estate linn in Wash
ington.
The first female clerk employed by
the Government was Miss Jennie Doug
lass, appointed to the Treasury Depart
ment by Secretary .pinner, iu mi).'.
.V. i', iiitlciicntU itt.
Captain David Buskirk, the larg
est man in Indiana, died at his home
near Blooiuinpton recently. He was
seven feet tall In his stockings, and
weighed four hundred pounds. In
tliantipuiiH Journal.
P. T. Barnuiii is reported to have
remarked in a moment of eonlidence
that if he lived much longer and re
tained his present activity he would
exhibit himself ill a side lent as "one
of the greatest curiosities Barnuiii ever
handled."
A. G. Nye. of Weymouth, Mass.,
claims to be the tirst inventor of the
Morse telegraphic instrument. If it
was Bill Nye who made such a claim
people would understand it, for Bill is
a great inventor, but it is a little late
in the day fur A. i.Iktroit Free
l'rm.1.
A Harvard professor and his wife
were guests at a reception in London,
which had been given in their honor.
A hundred men and women had been
invited by the hostess to meet. them.
But there were no iulroduclions, and
the Harvard professor amused himself
during the evening by talking to his
w if e. liar jar ' . I f ekhj.
Mr. Moody has received from Wil
liam Maekinnoii, a Scotch ship builder,
a model of Solomon s I duple, made ot
cedar overlaid with gold, with many of
the smaller articles of solid gold. It is
oue-lifly-liflh the size of Ihe original,
having the court, tabernacle, altar,
laver, ark, holy of holies, mercy seat,
and cherubim in proportion and rela
tion to each oilier.
Alexander Stewart, of Staunton,
Va., aged ninety-one years, recent Iv
attended the funeral of S. G. Waylanif,
aged eighty-one years, who bad been
his best friend for half a century. The
next, day while Mr. Stewart was re
calling to a party of visitors scenes
and incidents ill which he and his
friend Waylaiid bad participated, he
fell over on the ground and died iu a
few minutes. Washington 1'oxt.
Tom Scott, of Waco, Tex., had
rather unusual experience recently.
He went to see his mother, who is
sixty years old and resides in a neigh
boring town. On arriving at his home
he found that the obi lady had eloped
with a man half her age. When Air.
Seolt returned to his own home he was
paralyzed by the information that his
wife had gone with a handsomer man.
Then there was music in the air.
yVj'U.i Siliny.
The ldieliester J'oxl-Kiiress says:
A life insiiraiii'eagent states that he has
just concluded an insurance upon the
life of a man aged 102 years. The
centenarian enjoys good health and ap
pears to be in the possession of his fac
ulties. He states that his father lived
to the age of 110, and met his death by
an in jury due to the breaking of a mill
stone. His grandfather was, he asserts,
accidentally killed in his mill at the
age of 1211. His great-grandfather
lii ed to the age of L!:l.
"A LITTLE NONSENSE."
To-day is a good deal closer than
yesterday," said Smith fo Jones.
"Yes," said Junes, "it's nearer."
The wonders of art.
Thev have made h piano of pa per,
w hat woniiei-H art is aeinevinitt
If they'd makes puper performer
1. lie yet mistil Ixi worth Hunt one's living.
.4. If. llrWm, ill 'i'i.t lit.
- ( 'ustonier-But ain't the trousers
loo long? Merchant Too long? Dey
is made to lit a man exzekly your size.
If onr leirs happen to be a trille short
vou must quarrel mU nature not tie
tailor. "(";''.
- Lately, iu a music hail, after the
ballad lady had warbled, "Would I
Were a Bird," great excitement was
created by a stalwart miner in the au
dience shoeing. "Would I were a
gun."' .iri Tritium:.
-Tommy (who has just received a
severe scolding) -Am I really so bad,
mamma? Mamma Yes, Tommy, you
arl a very bad buy. Tommy (reflect
ively) -Well, anyway, mamma, I
think you ought to lie real glad i ain't
twins. .V. )'. Jiuli iirmti nt.
"Laura." said Mrs. Parvenu, on
the hotel piazza, to her daughter,
"Laura, go and ask the leaders of them
orchestras to play that 'sympathy from
Middlejohu' over again. It's such an
an ful favorite of mine, and your
father's, imVl'illburijh I'o.tt.
An amusing contemporary inform
its readers that a man at the East End
calls himself, on bis card, "Temper
ance Bootmaker," nnd suggests that
tlie need of tenipernnee brmti i-j flppnr
i tit, for though they are not generally
drunk, it is a notorious fact that they
are often very tight.
First Omaha banker I notice that
another big lot of American gold was
shipped to Europe a few days agj.
Second Omaha banker Yes; must be
about "half seas over" by this time.
"Half seas over?" "In other words,
money is tight, and that's what Caeses
it." thiuilui Wot I'l.
Gcntlcnim (looking at flat) I am
afra:d i.i wile won't want to come up
as high ii" this. It's the tenth story,
isn't it? Landlord -Yes, tenth story,
including the basement. I think your
wife will like it up here, sir. The
family who wH-tipi.il it last summer
t"l,l ui" that Ui"y preferred it to the
White ,Miilit!i!i-'W- lluUi'ltr
OF GENERAL INTEREST.
Fresh wafer snontrcs have been dis-
rr-overed iu the lake at Chautauqua,
N. 1.
There Is a pear tree in Windsor,
N. 8., which produces annually two
crops of pears.
A two-legged coll. died at Brock
'ville, Va., recently. The owner had
refused lifteen hundred dollars for it
two days before.
Persons w ho wish to avoid drown
ing are advised by an Eastern physi
eiiin to lock the hands behind the back,
fully iultate the lungs and close the
mouth.
Jewelry manufacture In l'rovl
ilcnee, K. L, 'which lias been practical
ly dead for live years, is enjoying a
lioom, the greatest since 18XL Voi't
ilenre Journal.
Carp is used by Hartford, Conn.,
Io keep the city reservoirs clean. The
lish have completely cleaned one reser
voir of vegetable growth, and are now
at work upon a second.
Boys destroyed a quantity of water
melons on the farm of William Avery,
near Paris, Ky. Avery's hounds fol
lowed the trail and chased one of the
boys up a tree after a run of several
miles.
--The time made by the fast trains
between Chicago and St. Paul is four
teen hours and thirty-five minutes; the
distance is about four hundred and
lifly-sevcn miles, making nearly thirty
two miles an hour, including slops.
I'liiiaijo Journal.
--A cage of lions belonging to a
circus at Kingston, Can., fell into a
bole and capsized, the lid being
knocked completely out. A lire was
built around the cage in order to
frighten the animals into remaining in
side, and the cage was replaced by tin
exertions of two elephants.
Two young men of Augusta, Me.,
who were driving out lately thought il
a good joke to scare an old soldier who
was standing out in his yard. They
tired a pistol at him twice, when the
veteran dodged into the house, got a
revolver and succeeded in wounding
one of the young scamps iu the hand.
Ilotlon Journal.
Mr. Flunk Stockton is credited by
Arlo Bates with sending a ponderous
door key to a friend just sailing for
Europe with the message: "He says it
is flic key to one of the very best board
ing houses in London. He Is sorry he
has forgotten the address; but If you
try the doors until you lint! Ihe one this
tits, you may lie sure the place is a cap
ital one." I'hicttijo Inlrr Uccmi.
Patient Then you think my finger
will have to be amputated, doctor?
Surgeon Yes, it will nave to come off.
Patient How much will the job cost ?
Surgeon-F'ifteen dollars. Patient N
that '.he best you can do, tloclorP I'm
a poor man. Surgeon 1 vs, lifteen
dollars is Ihe best 1 can do for one lin
ger, but I'll cut two of 'em oil' for
tivenly-five dollars. Ar. Y. Tiinrs.
People on board a steamer at Chat
ham, N.B., heard a splash and saw a chair
Moating iu the water. .Ixcxt rose above
the waves the head of a man, who re
marked: "Don't mind me, 1 can
swim." The spectators, not to lie out
done in politeness, fished him out at
once. He had placed a chair for him
self iu such a position that it went
overboard w ith him when he sat down,
on it.
A brilliant meteor ivasobserv-tfone
night recently at. Washingtou, Xle. It
lirst appeared like an elerfrio spark,
illuminating the eilv. lii a startling
manner. Then a bfue ball of tire
appeared, turned red, flared again,
and became cxtinguishi'il. I lie phe
nomenon occupied half aminute. 'I hen
the meteor fell, leaving Ix'liind it a
rei Mack across the sky, which faded
out gradually and was visible for sev
eral minutes after the fall.
George Phillips, of ltinghamton,
Solano County, Cat., has just completed
an organ containing four hundred
pipes, the longest being sixteen feet.
All the pipes are made of old newspa
pers rolled and fastened with a paste
made of glue and alum. The wood
work w?s made entirety of old fence
hoards, posts, ilry-giMids boxes and the
like. Il was two years in building
this instrument, which is said Io have
an excellent (one. ,S)i Francim-o Call.
- A remarkable freak of lightning
recently occurred nt Plainlicld, N. J.
Cornelius D. Paul lives in West Fourth
street. The shutters of the bay win
dow in the dining-room of his large
frame house were open, and in the
center of the window stood a small
stand on which rested a polished old
gold Japanese tray. Upon this tray
the lightning imprinted the photograph
of Miss Lillian Paul, a young lady
alaiul eighteen years of age, who had
just stepped to thy table to remove iL
1'he case is said to be the only one em
record, and w ill Is- seicntilically inves
tigated. -.V. 1'. .San.
A good joke wa played on the
riflemen of Brunswick, Ga., w hile thev
were on drill recently. Colonel Dart put.
t heiii through a few evolutions, and
then read to them a fictitious letter
pnriiorting to come from Washington
asking him how many men he could
muster to go to the Mexican frontier at
once. Surprise not unmixed with con
sternation superseded the jollity that
had existed but a moment before. The
boys, however, soon rallied, and almost
to a unit declared that it would la- im
imssilile for them to "go to Mexico just
yet," as tuth their business and incli
nation counseled their remaining in
Brunswick. Winn the hoax was dis-
covercii, however, there w as no little
( Lagr'ui tin) 'in g them that Me'.v litl twt
l'tetUflir l)t!y, . ,V'"7'i fi'H,