Sierra County advocate. [volume], November 13, 1886, Image 1

About Sierra County advocate. [volume] (Kingston, N.M.) 1884-1960

Image provided by: University of New Mexico

                
i) w catc.
mm
VOLUME IV.
HILLSBOROUGH, N. M., NOVEMBER 13, 188(5.
NO. 38.
"MAUD."
"Tnosdays-At Homo" I ralfed the enrd
And read the irreotlnir once arum,
i ., ODOe '"" with n my heart
A thrill of plrndiro. nil but pain
I nt as in tM. K ,,,.,
A luuirlnnp laee in red--iild hair.
That Just one little i car uiro
w a in my eyes the faoe moot fair.
1S.h?c,t bp,l(o ' summer sea,
with nlue-ojod Maud upon the nam!;
1 Raw Into her wliinnine face,
1 hold once moro herlitlle hand.
I whisper honejed words of lava
a J ! """v "itn a'l lender look,
And there heside the mid sea waves
loneo again am "coldlj- shook."
And now ahe sends thla tinted card
With many a m mlo ineanuiif fraught,
I read, you foe, betwixt the line.
I've learned the lesson Hint nho taught.
And tboiiah the perl n mo Hint It aheds
HiiiiKS memories of ol her scenes,
1 1 eyo it with a cynic smile.
" 1 know, too well, Just what II moans,
I It means a softly shaded room,
And Maud attired In wltehlnir gown
W ith ii-aul colls of golden hmr.
And tender eyes cast shyly down.
It ineaim tho low, impt r.nus tones
With which ho ueed, of old, to rule;
1 A whispered word, a sigh, a tear
, it means an everlasting fool.
'Ah! Mnud-yoti sent It all too lato,
Th s da ny enrd of colors rare.
I have no use tor soft, blue eves
I havo no use for led fold lia r.
I've been nuiruirrd two lilissliil weeks
A irirl at N'Hrrnifnnsett Tier
A New York plumber's daughter she,
With tliirty-ihousaiid "eae" a year.
Kiltie K.t in Judge,
CHINESE LOVE STORY.
Fate of the Hero and Heroine and
Their Tailo.
"It is a Chinese love story I r.m going
to relate," said tho painter.
"A Chinese lore story?" asked Lucia.
"Do Iho Chinese ever fall in lore?"
"Indeed they do," returned tho
painter. "Look now nt yoirr plate,
j our blue China plate. There the story
is told in a crude Chinese fashion, but
I can interpret it for you, I think. See,
in the right-hand corner of the plate is
a group of blue islands, with trees mul
pagodas, all of the same azure color,
dulled orcr them, while lull blue trees
bend orer the pagodas and tho island i
are separated one from the other' by
small blue straits. Orcr this filand
empire tho great Knipcror folikan
reigntd."
"Pelican " interrupted Assunta;
"why, that is tho name of an ugly,
"""clumsy bird."
"IVlikan was, I assure you," re
turned tho painter firmly, "tho name
ot Hint lunperor. J liitt palace, built in
the style of the early Chinese renais
sance, was, owing lo tho stormy reigns
of tho Emperor 3 predecessors, de-
i-iiiciuy 111 ueeu 01 repair. tv ny, 1110
china bells of the tallest pagoda hail
nil fallen oil' into tho water. Tho di
lapidated .state of his palace occupied
the Knipcror' s thoughts more than tho
beauty of his daughter, tho young and
lovely Princess Swen-Kiang."
"Oh, what a funny nanio for a Prin
cess," exclaimed Assunta.
"Swen-Kiang, a genuine Chinese
name, stgnorina, just as genuine as her
. lovely, long pigtail, which hung down
to llio very hem of her yellow silk
gown
"Oh, that is not very long," objected
Lucia, "for Iho gowns of the Chinese
ladies are very short."
"Excuse nic, but the gown of the
Princess was quite as long as Lucia's
walkingIress. The length and glossi
ness of this Incomparable pigtail bad
caused a mighty King, Yoo-Foo, to fall
jii lovo with and otter to marry her.
It was a very grand match for Swen
Kiang, for her father was only an Em
pcror orer a few poor little islands,
But the King Yoo-Foo had two very
serious faults in Swen-Kiang's eyes;
he was old enough to be her great
grandfather, and besides that ho was a
hunchback."
"Oh," returned Lucia, teasinglv.
"those are not such very serious faulu
in a King."
"Alas!" returned the painter, "the
Princess was so ignorant, so childish,
she lived, you know, more than a thou
sand years ago, she thought them so.
She was very unhappy at tho idea of
marrying tbo ugly old King. And in
her despair eho shook off all the bluo
bells from her tower, and trampled up
on and crushed to pieces tho dclicale
snail shells that formed tho ornamental
borders of her ilower-bods, would even
in her despair have laid violent hands
on her precious pigtail if her maids of
honor had not rushed to tho rescue.
After shedding torrents of tears, and
stamping her pudgy little feet till they
ached, she left her porcelain tower,
and taking her fishing-rod went off to
the shore to divert her mind by fishing.
As she lished she sang. The song the
Princess sang was of her own improv
isation. Here it is:
- Fishing I went by the silver sea,
Hut caught, alas! aim woo is me,
Fever a fish with scales of void;
Only a gander, frray and old.
Who wont swimming past.
A gander, old, ugly and grim.
What la (he world shall I do with him?
Tralala, Tra-la la."
I don't think much of that song,
even if a rriuccss did sing it," ex
claimed Lucia.
'In the Chinese it is more melodi
ous," rejoined the painter; "it is, I am
afraid, badly translated."
"Did yen translate it?" asked Assua-
The painter turned red and went on
rapidly. "This song, sung in Chinese
and in the sweet voice of Swen-Kiang,
attracted tho attention of a youth who
was pacing tho sands not very far
away. This young man's name was
Tu-foo. He was the architect em
ployed by the Emperor Pelikan to re
tail"' tho bells on his pagoda. Tu-foo
approached the Princess slowly and
dillideiittv, threw himself face down
ward at her feet; then, still knceline,
he felt in tho bosom of his silken robe
and drawing out his visiting card
painted in tho highess stylo of Chinese
art on rice paper, crimson in color and
a toot ana a half long, respectfully pre
senieu, it.
"Tho Princess had not caught any
fish, and besides bud grown tired of
sitting there on tho shore alone, 80
she graciously deigned to receive his
car, glanced at the youth, and per
ceiving that Ins eyes were as narrow
and oblique mid his pigtail almost as
long and thick as her own, pronounced
him to herself a very handsome man
She commanded tho kneeling youth to
arise ana seat nimscir ny her sale,
Well, the Princess and the architect
sat there 011 tho sands, and the little
bluebirds above their heads 6ang and
saii una new auout and around them.
Tho line fell from tho Princess' hand
and sank down into tho sea. How Tu
foo found tho courage to do so I don't
know, ruit aa hour had hardly cone lv
when he flung himself at the Princess'
little feet anil begged her to be hjs wife
and share with him the artist s l.'iaf.
"Artist's loaf how does it tasto,
wonder?" asked Felicita, who had not
spoken before.
'Oh, not so bad; it is kneaded by the
Muses and baked by Apollo. Some
people, not many I teat, however, cat
it with a relish, at leajt in China and
Japan, if not in England or America
bull, Swen-Kiang, w-ts a prudent girl,
though not prudent enoiiirh to prefer
1111 old King to a young lover, and that
this artist's bread might not lack for
butter, sho hurried up into her cham
ber, fetched x lewcl-cn.sUet from her
dressing table, and returning gave it
to Ju-foo. He took lit 0 casket carc
fully under his left arm, gave his right
lo tho Princess and tho two stopped
into a little boat which was anchored
near by. Tu-foo took the oars and
rowed oil" in the direction of tho Island
of Jiliss.
'See, there is the bark; it is already
a long distance away from tho shore;
soon they will land on the Blissful
Island. When, Pelikan, who had been
sleeping since dinner lime, woke up
and roared for his daughter, alas! sho
was nowhere to be seen.. The Emperor
rushed down to the sca-stiore, peered
out over the water, saw the boat,
recognized the fugitives, and called
loudly for his men at arms. There
they go marching over the little bridgo
which separates the main isiand from the
one adjoining it. How warlikd they
look in their flowing robes of panther
skin lined with astrachan, and with
quivers of tish-sltin hanging over tho
right shoulder! These warriors march
solemnly down to tho pier, step on
board the Chinese frigate; the Emperor
and his son-in-law, who was to have
been, King Yoo-Foo, follow and pur
sue the Hying lovers.
"Poor Swen-Kiang, unhappy Tu-foo,
the frigate gains rapidly on them. The
Princess wrings her hands and weeps;
already sho sees in imagination her
lover deprived of his nose, his eyes put
out, his pigtail cut off close to his head,
his legs hewed from his body, the
Chinese punishment for poor, audac
ious young men who run off with Em
peror's daughters. Swen-Kiang utters
a piercing scream, clasps her hands and
invokes the aid of tho Chinese Venus."
"What is her name?" asked Lucia.
"Lucia," answered tho painter
slowly. "Some say, however, hor
name is Assunta, and others assert it
to bo Felicita. The goddess hears her
prayer and answers it, In the twink
ling of an eye Swen-Kiang and Tu-foo
are turned into two pretty little birds.
There, look! they are flying up into the
blue sky, billing and kissing each
other as they go. That is the story,
fair ladies, the plate tells mo."
"And the pigtails, the line pigtails of
Swen-Kiang and Tu-foo, what became
of them?"
"True, I had forgotten the pigtails.
They wcro left lying in tho bout and
were changed by the goddess into two
long, ugly snakes; and when the
hump-backed King: Yoo-Foo, and tho
Lord High Executioner, Wong-Bang,
his constant companion, stepped on
board tho boat to look for tho lovers
one of tho snakes bit the King's too
and the other the Lord High i Execu
tioner's heel, causing them both to
jump very high and swear very loudly,
in Chinese."
You may suppose that this was all
very pleasing to Lucia, Assunta and
Felicita, and is it not to you also?
Boston Budget.
"What d' you come homo for?"
demands the father. "Expelled," re
plied the boy. "Can't go back again?"
"No, they said not." "What did they
expel you for?" "Couldn't keep up
with my classes." "Course not; you
always were a fool. You haven't
learned any thing, I suppose?" "No,
not much. "Don't know as much as
you did when you started to school, I
reckon?" "Don't know any more,
anyhow." "What do you expect to
do?" "I'm going into business as
weather prophet,"' Delighted father
Good boy; the very thing! You've got
more sense than I thought you had.
I'm afraid you've got too much to
make a good prophet." Burdette.
In a cheap re staurant. A customer
is trying to eat a herring "aa beurre
noir." Abruptly he calls the waiter;
"This herring is execrable," he cries.
"You can only tasto the vinegar."
"What are you complaining about?"
replied the garcon, shrugging his
shoulders: "If it wcro not for the vin
egar you would not be able to eat it at
ail." Chicago Mail.
SIMPLE ISLArDERS.
Description or Msrrlif and Marriage
Frast ait Kr'KlliiR.
Three Sabbaths btoro tho interest
ing ceremony tho bnins are proclaimed
in church. A wrf'k before tho mar
riage day a repijM consisting of tho
chief luxuries of the island is provided
for the whole of tho Islanders in tho
intended bridegroom's house. Tho
"luxuries" include tea which is drunk
out of bowls cheese, butter, Scotch
bannocks, and last, but not least, "a
wee drnppiu o't." l!ut tho islanders
never disgrace such feasts with drunk
enness. A curious feature of tho
gathering is that the sexes are kept by
themselves in different ends of the
hiuse. For tho comfort of tho men
tables and chairs aro provided, and in
the event of tho supply running short
Iho women havo to remain standing.
The "feast" is, of course, a most fune
real affair. What clso could it bo
when the Pope of the place has forbid
den even singing and w histling? There
is no singing, and, of course, no i.'ane
ing. The time is passed in general re-
marks on the coming event and the
"news of tho day." I really do not.
know what the "news of the day"
means in St. Kilda unless it bo that
Mor Khan was publicly reproved in
church tho Sunday before for sleeping.
or that the minister's housekeeper had
patched up her latest quarrel with tho
prettiest woman on tho Island (com
nionly called the Queen). When tho
wedding day conies everybody gathers
into the church, including the
bride and bridegroom, attended by the
best man and bridesmaid. They nro
rigged out in their summer finery, and
privileged with a front seat to tho left
of tho pulpit. Everybody is agog with
excitement, for tho occasion is a great
one. hoon there enters the Hey. Mr.
Mackay, liiblo in hand. Mounting tho
precentor s box tho mmisterongages 111
a (iaelic prayer. Then follows a sermon
on tho duties of husband and wife. The
sermon over, Mr. Mackay goes through
tho marriage ceremony In the orthodox
fashion. There is another praver and
then tho curtain falls. After the mar
riage another jolly feast is provided in
ono of tho houses of tho village, but lo
this only natives are invited. Tho
"strangers who include tho school
master, the old nurse and tho minister
himself, hie themselves to tho manse.
where they attempt to make merry in
a humble kind of way, and tho newly
married couple are gracious enough to
look fn and smile on the proceedings.
Tho husband and wifo bring provisions
with them, generally mutton, it being
considered unlucky that they should
como empty handed. Tea is supplied in
great abundance. Abumporis drank to
tho health and prosperity of the newly
wedded pair, and this formality over
the company breaks up. The couple are
seen to rest for the night, and the event
at an end. I hero is a difficulty
usually about the honeymoon. It is
tho correct thing to spend" it from home,
but there is only the choice of going to
a friend's house ten yards away or one
twice the distance. Cor. Glasgow
Herald.
THE SEIGNEURIES.
Interesting: FIcttire of Them as They Kx-
lst In Canada.
The diet of the French Canadians is
extremely simple and consists princi
pally of soup and vegetables, though
meat and poultry a"o very cheap in the
country districts, costing somewhat
less than half the price paid by tho
Knglish laborer for tho same articles of
diet. Tho French-Canadian farmer is a
strict conservator of ancient habits and
customs, and is strongly opposed to
any progressive principles, i ho sou
in some parts ef the provinco of Que
bee has therefore been so systematically
starved by long habitsof neglect, hand
ed down from father to son, that a bare
existence is all that has been gained
from tho land. However, if the same
farm has come into the possession of an
enterprising Scotch or English farmer
with liberal ideas of progress and ad
vancement, the result has been strik
ing; and in the course of a few years
the old, decaying buildings have disap
peared, a new farm-house and substan
tial barns have been erected, ami the
estate has recovered all tho appearances
of prosperity. This is not an uncom
mon instance. The old scigncuries on
the St. Lawrence have losttmt little of
their ancient character. In many cases
even the venerable manor houses still
stand on the river banks, surrounded
by prim, old-fashioned gardens and ap
proached by straight avenues of poplar.
These seigneuries were, in old times,
usually granted by the Government to
persons of distinction or to court favor
ites, and consisted of immense tracts of
land (in some instances three leagues
in breadth by tho same in depth), ex
tending for miles from the river shoro
back into the primeval forest. The
Seigneur, or lord of the manor, par
celed this land out into small fiefs,
which were frequently again sub
divided by families into almost infini
tesimal proportions. The lief holders
made a small annual payment to the
Seigneur, who had also certain feudal
claims, the principal of which was a
considerable proportion of the amount
payable on the sale or transfer of land.
Alt the Year Hound.
The first Massachusetts ship was
built in Medford in 1633, and was of
sixty tons burden. This was the be
ginning of shipbuilding in New Eng
land. The same year a water mill was
built at Dorchester, and another by
Mr. Damner at Roxbury. These were
the first water mills in New England.
Boston Budget.
A CHURCH CONCERT.
Trustworthy Itcport of What a Young;
Man who Accompanied Young l.ady
Haw and Heard 1 here.
(We enter and take our seats.)
Young Lady There, Mr. Jenkins, I
told you wo should not bo late. You
see we have lots of time. Oh! did you
ever see such a horrid hat as Mrs,
Deuseuburv Smith has got on? It's per
fectly awful.
Woman behind us (in a hoarse
whisper) What that girl can see
Jenkins 1 never shall understand.
Her Companion Me neither. They
say ho owes thirty-seven dollars for
board to Mrs. Howler, and she tells
mo
Myself Excessively warm, is it not?
1 oiinr La v It seems nnito cool
to
me. l'.utsee! hero comes the pianis
Signor Staccato. I think ho is just
splendid.
Sig. S. (on the grand piano pianis
simo) Turn, tumty, tuni. Tiimtytum
ta-a-a-a-a, etc.
Various persons In niv immediate
neighborhood They say she's goin
to be niamcd again, and JNo, in
deed, for I told him just what
thought of You don't say so! Well
I Yes, that's him right over there,
He She sings in tho choir, and
must say Isn't ho perfectly grand?
hig. S. (fortissimo) fhumpetty
thunip-limmp-ihuinp-crash! nang! i
Young Ladv He is just wonderful
(Tumultuous applause. Sig. S. comes
back and does it some more).
Young Lady (when he has finished)
1 could listen to him all mgut
couldn t your
Myself 1 could, but it would make
mo very sad. (My Lady Friend looks
daggers ut me, and I see that I have
made a mistake).
Woman behind us How out of place
that Jenkins looks at a classical con
cert like this.
Myself (feigning a deep interest)
Ah, Miss tantako is going to sing.
1 1 1 g h-pneed hoprano L n a voea pooa
fa, etc.
Man In front of us That woman has
been married 111 fee times. Her name
ain't no moro Cantake than mino is.
Her first huslmnd was
Woman behind mo It cost a dollar
seventy a yard, and (Wild applause
High-priced .Soprano comes hack nut
bows but won't Ning, Enter tho gifted
artist, v. jwacready lligginsi.
Young Lady 1 am acquainted with
him. lie is too awfully funny for any
thing. He told par that it came just
as natural to hnn as brentliing.
W. M. II. (giving his great imitation
of Irving) (.ml, end, mo lud. etc.
Man in front of mo Did you ever
see irvingr
His Companion Yah. He's nogood
You oiler see Htill'alo Hill. Now he
can art, he can. (r ran tic applause
. M. II. conies back and imitates
Lawrenco Itarrelt, whom he represents
as an asthmatic individual with unmis
takable premonitory symptoms of tho
ulinu staggers.)
loung Lady Am t he lust too
splendid? He told par that Mr. Uarrett
saw him givo that representation once
and was so overcome that ho had to
are the hall.
Myself 1 can readily believe that
(I am about to make further remarks
of a sarcastic n al ure when Enter Israel
MorgiMistern, tho talented American
violinist. )
I. M. (playing his great Itevery in u
sharp minor) Wa-a-n-h, wait, wall,
wahwahwah wo-o-o-o-w, etc., etc. (I
gradually become oblivious to my sur
roundings, and am soon in the arms of
what-you-may-call him. I dream that
I havo been chosen umpire in a cat
fight, ami that I am presently obliged
to decide against a largo, blue-eyed
cat with a determined expression of
countenance, who in his indignation
fiercely attacks me. We fight for soma
timo with clothes-poles, ami I am
prescnllystabbed in the arm. I awako
to lind that my Young Lady has stuck
a pin into mo.
Infant Phenomenon (on the plat
form) Mabel,' little Mabel, with her
face against the pane.
Myself I'm afraid I've been dozing.
Young Lady (icily) You havo slept
through two entire numbers.
Myself I nm very
Young Lady (ten degrees below ze
ro) You need not apologize.
Pastor of Church (largo, portly man
with a voice like a fog-horn) 1 am re
quested by the Young People's Associ
ation lo thank the congro I mean the
audience for its attendance, and to
state that an oyster supper has been
prepared ill the chapel. (Audience be
comes interest ed. ) Only lit ly cents per
head will be charged, and the proceeds
will be used thanks lo the kindness of
the Young People's Association to de
fray your pahstor's expenses on his
coming leeturo tour. Pahss through
the door to the right. (I am about to
invite my Young Lady to partake of
bivalves, when I rememlier that 1 have
only thirty-five cents in my pocket.
Kieniit, myself antl my Young Lady
into tbo street. Exeunt nearly every
one a into tJio CiUtpUJ - -i
Slearns, in Tid-BUt.
Waller Gordon, of Atlanta, Ga ,
is aid to have made three tnug for
tunes in tix years. Iu Georgia Pacific
he and his brother, E. C. Gordon, drew
out S107.000 each in clear cash, one-
fourth of which Walter Gordon in
vested in plantations. In Sheffield
they cleared 1M,)00 each, and hold
large blocks of ttie stock, now six for
one and rising. Just Ik fore leaving
for New York they cleared 12O.J00 by
the sale of their Tcnnesoc railroad to
the Louisville & Nashville system.
PERSONAL AND IMPERSONAL.
Miss Heaven is the name of a young
woman recently coulirmml at Lnndy
Island by tho visiting llritish liishopof
Exeler.
Samuel i. McCollach, clerk of the
circuit court at Wheeling, W. Va.,
who three years ago mysteriously dis
appeared under a linaiieial cloud, has
been discovered in Montana masquer
ading as "Samuel llrown."
If young Mrs. Gould's hired girl
should ever go on a strike Mr. George
Gould wouldn't have to go to Delmou
ieo's for his breakfast or dinner. 'The
bride is a tiptop cook, and knows all
about household matters. X. i'.
Graphic.
As treasurer of tho Pennsylvania
Railroad Company the lute John D.
Taylor was the signer of tho thirteen
million dollar cheek paid for a con
trolling interest in tho Philadelphia,.
v ilmington iv lialtimoro road, tho
largest check ever drawn in Pennsyl
v an i a. I'h ilmlttihia I 'reus.
Captain M. V. Lancaster, of I!el
fast, le., has been decoi kted by tho
imperial mandate of China with tho
Fourth Order of the Golden Dragon
for his services while in attendance on
tho Seventh Prince, tho Emperor's
father, when making his lato lour of
inspection of tho unshorn parts.
A white man serving out a sen
tence of twenty years in tho Pratt
mines, near 1! ii iuiny haul , Ala., made a
remarkable escape a few days ago. Ho
climbed a polished wire rope extend
ing two hundred feel up the shaft, and
in some manner lifted an iron door that
requires the full strength of ft man on
a safe footing to open.
A few years ago tho literary mar
kets of the world wero overstocked
with American humor, but somehow
or other tho stuff spoiled on tho hands
of the lirst purchaser, ami to-day it is
almost impossible to get a decent speci
men of pure, original humor. t tiicm-
tirtfi JuHuinr. Tho reason Is that it
has all turned into chestnuts. Chicago
Journal.
Miss Nellie Nevada Moore, of
Swissvale, Pa., is attracting rather un
enviable attention by her independence
in tho matter of dress. She follows
tho example of Mrs. Dr. Walker to a
certain extent. When engaged at
work about her house at Swissvalo she
discards dresses and arrays herself in
nialo attire. Her reasons for this
strango fancy in dress aro, as sho says,
solely on tho ground of comfort, and
not to gam notoriety. fillnimrgh t out.
After a romantic courtship carried
on through tho mails two Federal vet
erans of tho Soldiers' Homo at Hamp
ton, Vn., wero married recently to two
Virginia ladies in Appomattox County.
Tho ceremony took place not many
miles from the spot where General Leo
surrendered. The parties to tho ro
mantic double marrutgo were Thomas
Gallagher, aged forty-nine, nnti Miss
Maggie Duncan, aged twenly-lhree;
Wifliiini Smith, aged forty-six, and
Ellen Woodson, aged tweirty-ono. The
contracting parties had never met un-
a few hours beforo tho nuptials.
Chicago lkrahl.
'A LITTLE NONSENSE.1
A man seeing on a dentist's sign,
Teeth extracted without pain," re
marked: "I never could get any teeth
extracted without payin."
-Small boy: "Mother, please giro
me anolherlump of sugar for my coffee.
I've dropped tbo one yon gave me,"
Mother "Where havo you dropped
it?" Small boy "In tho eofi'eo."
Not polite.
The Mavltnwer's skipper's not polite,
A, any mie emi nee,
lie cHinn Imek home all ly himself
And left the Lial l leu.
Washington Critic.
Herr Strauss (yawning) How you
is, Hans? You don't know no body
no more, alu d 1 1 r linns Aline front.
you mis shut vonr mouth so I can
see your fiice, den mebbo I can tell who
tin vas.
-Spriggs How much older is your
sister than you, Johnny? Johnny I
dunno. MmkI lister bo twenty-live
ears, then sho was twenty and now
she ain't only eighteen. 1 guess we'll
soon be twins. 'J'id-liit.
A five-year-old boy, who was en
gaged iu some mischievous doings, on
being remonstrated with by his father
wilh, "Why will you do so, George?"
replied: "Oh, I expect I am too little
to know any better. Huston I'ost.
"I believe vou aro right," said an
old genllenian, "so far as the abstract
is concerned: but" Just then he
lipped anil struck his bead against
the asphalt pavement, "ltul." he con
tinued, as ho got up, "I don't care to
discuss the matter in the concrete."
N. Y. ImUvcndcnt.
-The Bar Harbor Indians complain
that the trade In baskets, bead-work.
fans, and other Indian ware m an til ae
tured in New York has been very dull
this year, and Mulcahey, ono of tho
braves, is reported to have naid: "Fuix
it's clams I d rather bo diggin' than
breskin' mo heart overthini bows and
arrcrs and things " .V. Y. flmrhic.
"That Parisian trick tho vanish
ing lady that Hermann docs, is a
great one, said Jones. "He covers a
lady with a veil, and after a little
maneuvering raises tho veil and the
lady has disappeared." "That's noth
ing to a young lady in our boarding
house," answered Hrown. "I have
seen ten or twelve persons in the par
lor, and this young lady come in, fdl
dow n to the piano ami beeritt to play
and sing. In two minutes all the rest
had disappeared. Talk about Her
mann! Ho ain't a patch lo tier. A'.
I", bun.
OF GENERAL INTEREST.
A wealthj: New York physician de
clares it as his belief that "the oyster is
tho most healthy -nrticlu of food known
to man."
Tho Chinese claim to havo discov
ered tho art of sneer.iug and to have
practiced it two thousand years before
any other nation caught on.,
A human skeleton weigh. .from ten
to sixteen pounds, and the blooJ of lh
body about twenty-eight pound, but
cremation leaves only eight ounct.
Wealth Monthly.
. The Chamberlain (D. T.) Democrat
says that beets and carrots have grown
to such a si.o in ltrule County this
year that farmers are compelled to use
stump-pullers to pull thein from Uis
ground.
Patsey Collins, while shoveling
grain in tho top of a jfa Niagara, Kails
flouring mill, fell into the hoppor, slid
for eighty feet through a spout elght
by ten inches in size and shot out, with
six tons of grain, into a car standing on
the track below. Buffalo Courier.
A young medical student In Saora
menlo tried tho earth-cure on a sick
man and came within a shave of hav
ing the lamp-post cure tried on him.
Ho hadn't got the patient covered
higher than his hips when he gave up
tho ghost. Han Francisco Chronicle.
Tho Women's Christian Temper
ance Union of Cambridge, Crawford
County, Pa,, persuaded the store-keepers
of the village to stop keeping
cigarettes after tho exhaustion of tin
present supply, and then bought up the
supply and cremated It. Philadelphia
lYess.
The life Insurance agent had been
talking steadily for only an hour or so,
when tho victim, perceiving a chancj
to get a word in odgowiso, remarked:
"Do vou know you remind mo of sud
den death?" "How soP" "Nobod
is safe from cither of you." Texas
Hiflims
A St. Louis man going through
ono of the poorly lighted streets felt a
rat up his troucers leg, and pounded
tho victim successfully with his enno.
When ho got the animal settled and
came to a light, he drew out his line
gold watch, which had slipped down
his trousers' leg. It was something
worse for tho pounding. Poor old
Missouri. Chicago Jitter Ocean.
A triple wedding occurred a few
days ago at Verdigris Valley, Neb. Tho
three and only children of Mr. and Mrs.
Tomoo wero at high noon united in
marriago to their hearts' mates. Over
live hundred guests wero present. Tho
grooms and their best men wore
badges and bompiots of orango blos
soms and tho brides and their attend
ants wreaths of orange blossoms.
Thomas Caldwell, of West Troy,
N. Y., recently traded horses with
Goorgo Hrewor, of Smokoy Tavern,
and shortly after tho trade discovered
that the animal he had traded for was
balky and wind-broken. He then
traded with the father of Ilrewer for a
threo-year-old colt, which ho also dis
covered was of no use. Then he bor
rowed a rig from a farmer and went
home disgusted. Troy Times.
The tiso of morphia by physicians
to suspend pain which they "can not
euro is said to have become an abuse.
A Pittsburgh iiirh has been found to
have one thousand and forty hypoder
n i in injection punctures in his body.
Many are said to tako the injections
for the soothing effect when nothing iir
particular nils them, anil thus fall into
a habit worse than drinking, which is
tho natural consequence Pittsburgh
Chronicle.
Some one in Hudson, N. Y., has
written s ti.n Toronto Ulobe as fol
lows: "Ai I.hia a very rich man and
can easily iiuovd it, 1 havo decided to
give tho whole of North America to
my wife, believing from my knowledge
of a woman's mtturo that she will
govern you all wisely and well. As 1
am tho legal husband of every womiin
i:i the world, thisincliideH every woman
on the Continent. Ezra, King of Eng
land, North America, the World and
the Church."
While the orchestra was playing
tho prayer from "Itienzi" in tho Louis
ville Music Hall the other day a vigor
ous baby struck in with a lung solo
right in ono of the most delicato pas
sages. Conductor Damrosch stopped
the orchestra and sat down. When iho
littlo one had been quieted he re
marked that while it was a good thing
to givo children a musical education,
thcro was such S thing as bcginniivr
too early in life. Then ho resumed his
baton and the pmyur was I onioned.
"Speaking of insertions of a genu
ine mechanical character," says an ex
change, "the ordinary gas meter is
perhaps the most remarkable and most
profitable devico ever constructed. So
very sensitive is it that the least re
duction in the price of gas sets it into
much increased activity, and the lower
the price, the greater the activity of
tho meter; and it has been known,
when the family wss away on a sum
mer vacation, to remain at borne and
keep industriously at work all the '
lime."
"Talk about earthquakes," said '
an old flat boatman to me on the levee
tho other day, "why that Charleston
shake-up was nothing. hcy are com
mon ou the Lower MisAsaippl. la
1368 I was tied up at tho bank a few
miles below Vieksnurg. A shock cams
along, broke nil tho lines and ran my
boat ten miles up the river beforo I
could stop her. Large fish were thrown
out on the bank anil killed. Then we .
never thought about taking up sub
scriptions for earthquake stitVcrers, but
had to. paddlo oar own canoes."
Louisville I'ust.