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0 come with me and be my cook, And 'u msv nav9 my Pcaetbook'. for you the parlor door's ajar, And you may ue my motor car. My wife has gems that you may wear, And vou may tine her Sunday hair, And if these thing enticing look. Then come with ma and be my cook. Puck. , VERSIMILITUDE. xTtur atorv has considerable ,erve, rattle, daBh and go, yet It break down in spots.' M-n'oii what do you want In an ,uto story?" Louisville Courier- journal. AT THE CONCERT. The Late Comer (anxiously) "How far have they got with the pro Major Stymie (an ardent golfer) "Seven up and two to play." Har yer's Weekly. POSSIBLE CAUSE. Tthoderlck "I see they have dls covered some new green spots on Min" Van Albert "That so? Bet the green bat craze has struck that plan et, too." Chicago News. FOR FUTURE REFERENCE. "That lawyer is very tricky," said Mr. Cumrox. "I wouldn't think of noottnir him socially. " Vnithor would I ." answered Mr. Dustln Stax, "but you might give me his office address." Washington Star. VAIN HOPE. "At least a rjoet may leave foot prints on the sands of time," com'' mented a kindly citizen. "I'd rather have an automobile and leave wheel rats," declared the dla contented bard. Louisville Courier Journal. AN ACCOMPLISHMENT. "They tell me, Grlmley, that your daughter sings with great expres alnn." "Greatest expression you ever saw. TTer nwn tnothfir can't recognize her face when she's singing." Home Herald. THE PLAIN FACTS. ' "All the world loves a lover." "But that affection is entirely one tided. The lover denies the rumors of the engagement up to the last mo ment, and then tries to secure the marriage license on the sly." Kan sas City Journal. OUR LANGUAGE. "Say," queried the would-be hu morist, "where is that place, Atoms, that so many people are blown to?" "It's Just the other Bide of Effigy, the place in which so many people are hanged," answered the solemn rerson. Chicago News. SOME EVEN STUDY. "What do the collesisins do when the baseball and football seasons are closed?" "Oh, there are the banlo nnd glee clubs to travel with. A college boy always has something to keep him busy." Houston Chronicle, , UNREALISTIC. Husband (after the theatre) "Well, how do vou like the piece?" Wife "Very much. There's only Ann ImnrnhDhla Mnr In ft ThA fieC- end act takes place two years after mo nrar nnH hav ti a va rha nAme ser Tant." Pittsburg Observer. SOMEWHAT CAUSTIC. "The Sundav nacers are too big," said the kicker. "They ought to come in Quarto size." "Then you'd want a mahogany TtnrtVnM . i i A -j want -wvnv8n mruwa 1U, DUU JU V4 It for five cents, too," commented bis canaia Irlend. Pittsburg Post. THE PRIVILEGED CLASS. "Ah," complained the visiting no- oieraan, "but you have no privileged t' Classes in this countrv." "We haven't, eh?" replied the "promlnent cltlren. "You ought to be mv luum nigui wiieu a e.a"a u lege boys are on a tear." Chicago n-ecora-Herald.. . EXCELSIOR. Uncle "And what will you do hen you are a man, Tommy?" Tommy "I'm growing to grow a Doard." Uncle? "Why?" Tommy "rrnnse then I won fcave nearly to much face to wash." GRIP IS PREVA LENT AGAIN. A prompt remedy is what every one is looking tor. The efficiency of Peru- nais so well known that its value as a grip rem edy need not be ques- tioned. The grip yields more quickly if taken in hand prompt ly. If you feel grippy get a bottle of Peruna at once. Delay is almost certain to aggravate your case. Far a free illustrated booklet entitled "The Truth About 1'eruna," addrew The Peruna Co., Columbus, Ohio. Mailed poet paid. Why Is It In this practical age that baby talk Is still the language of love? Piles Cured to 6 to 14 Day. Paso Ointment la guarantee) to cure say raeeof Itching, Blind, Bleeding or Protruding flies in 6 te llflajs or money refunded. JW A house may have wings, yet it cannot fly. A good honeat remedy for Rheumatism, Neuralgia and Sore Throat i. Hamlins VViaard Oil. Nothing will no quickly drive out all pain and inflammation. Be truthful even though you be thrashed for It. Rverv Woman Will lie Interested. If yon hare pains in the back, Urinary, Bladder or kidney trouble, and want a pleMant herb cure for woman's ilia, try Mother Gray Australian Leaf. It le a re liable regulator. All Drugtrttta 50 eta. Sam ple ra. The Mother Oray Co., LeRoy.N.Y. TRAVEL A LA MODE. Ethel And did you go to Romo? Grace I really don't know, my husband always took the tickets. Harper's Weekly. rer COLDS and GBIP. best remedy rellsrea the eiUUnaT and (rverinhnru- the tvis and reatorae normal conditions. It's llauld-efecu Immediately. 10c, tie. and wc., aiorug itarea. A man should being sensitive. be sensible without The Human Eye. A marvelously constructed Instru ment, delicate In the extreme, re sponding to the slightest Influence. What a crime against nature to drug the eye. Everyday eye troubles ars speedily cured by applying externally Dr. Mitchell's pure, harmless, soothing Eye Salve. 25 cents. Ask the druggist. thmifht to be mad when it will not drink, but the man Is mad when he cannot get ma. teething, solten mogul"..---- -EaUl. pejp. cures wind colic. 25c a bottls rru ninnoi that wnrltB Is a tQOrC Important asset than the money that talks. . a -1 aa-a)ATtA Vo.fnre'8 laxative it is composed wholly of clean, iw.et. haalth-iriving Herbs! For constipa tion, uver anu Kiuney uuuu. Do thoroughly what you undertake. IN AGONY WITH ECZEMA. Whole Body Mass of Raw, Bleeding. Torturing Humor ninu Would End Fearful Suffering In IK-spair: Cured by Cuticura. vrt. cannot describe the terrible to aema I suffered with. It broke out on my head and kept spreading until it covered my whole body. 1 was umm .' . i. (r.t I looked more c sora imui ut- - like a piece of raw beef than a human being. The pain ana agony i eiiuui ' . , , , uA .nil mi. nnced than I couia ucar. xjiu r from the great sore on my scalp, from un rior mv finner nails, and nearly all over my body. My ear. wore so cru.tej ana s I was atraia tney wumu hair in my head fell out. I could not a.t down, for my ciotnea - raw and bleeding fleah, making rne cry out from the pain. My family doctor did all be could, but I ot wor and wc. SIT eond tion was awiui. - , ! r",j i;. nti death to come aod COUiU at( . cod my frightful uffennga. , begged.me .otrythe Cuticur Remed.e,. ery. But oh, wnai oi. ",r enced afur applying Cuticura Ointment. It cooled tne oniuim - -.- . . brought me the first real sleep I had had m V?t and Cuticura Soap, then apply the nrntment frely. I also took Cuticura Re Xn for the ilood. In a short time the lores stopped running, the flesh began to heal and I knew I was to get well again. Then the hair on my head began to grow. d"n a short time I was eo "P'-.i of Cuticura Remedies, DctonM It isn't always the fast man who makes the bent pronres sss K .hud pawn s nmmisaiMsiWMiw -sst - i L f L ' t r . nr. ..... ,..ra. Becaute of tlioso ugly, grltiiy, gray halra Coal As Against Medicine. ' Two Lackawanna commuters had a hot time of It the other morning com tng to New York from a suburban town, twenty-three miles away. They almost came to a list fight over the simple proposition of the monthly consumption of ooal. The oareful pas sengers ILstoned with interest: "You tell mo that your coal bill Is $12 a month." "That's what I said; about two tons." - ' i- "Great Hannibal! "Why, my month- ly bill is not over 15." "Ma-be L, tout 1 see tne cociors carri'age m Vsur house almost every day. How muoh does he charge a viait? . "Two dollars, I toertUve." "What's the matter with your fam ily?" "Oh, ay wife and hildrea have colds and for era, and are sometimes tbieatenad wth pneumonia. A phy. Aldan u necessary." , , "My, what an awful expense." "Tea; It costs money." "Why don't you buy enough coal to keep your house warm? Coal is a darn sight cheaper than doctors. A cold house Is death to children. Take my advice: Keep the house warm and cut out your doctor." New York Frees. ' ' - "v -Jsr -1 - ' a. Over 4,000,000 Western Electric Telephones are in use in the Onited States to-day. We made the first telephones and we have made the most in fact, we have made more than all other manufacturers combined. We have brought the rural telephone within the reach of every fanner, and with our Freo Bulletins before him a boy can install and operate the system. Our telephones are guaranteed. Cut out this advertisement, write your name and address on the margin and mail it to-day so that the Free Bulletins, which describe the entire, plan in detail, may be sent you immediately. Atlanta Clti.iuad I lallu lo4iiiapeUA Kiuu Ctt Porl.BUHith ' Saiot Loula 102 p UTN AM MornK.r.rooa.brUhWr.ndtareolor.lha any PsVO aye 4Vny girunni v inum. -k A wise man knows his opportunity. Only One "Bromo Quinine'' That is Laxative Broma Quinine. Ioit hr th TdinVture of lt W.Oj.js. Ujl Wbfid over to Cure a Cold in One Day. OQ. HUMPTY DL'MPTT. I have broken my head; an abrasion And found It would mend again noon Ihave broken my head; an abrasion Was all you could see oy nei.i oonn I can cure a smashed dish with mere plaster, I can crack a bad Joke and not kill; But the hopeloss, the mendless ais- aster Is to break a new ten-dollar bill. Cincinnati Commercial Tribune, BACKACHE 13 K1DXEYACHB. C.nally There Are Other Sypmtom. . Prove It to Irote It. Pain In the back Is pa in the kid - neys, In most cases, and it poiniB iu the need 01 a bp- rini renmuy i lleve and cure the congestion or In flammation of the kidneys that Is In terfering with their work and causing that pain that makes you say: "Oh, my back!" Henry GuUatt, of Greensboro, Ga., says: "Two years ago kidney disease fastened Itself on me.. I had awful dlny spells, headache and urinary Ir regularities. My back was weak and tender. 1 began UBlng Doan's Kid ney Pills and found qu;ck reuei., i was soon restored to compete good I neaun. ''." Bold by all dealers 60 cents a box. Foster-MllburnjCo.,Buffalo;N, T, Getting-acquainted with one's self Is what most of us put off until too late ""use "tA VrMNwiftfJ r": CURE TIIE CHILDREN'S COUGH . Wore the eenrtert kackiag tre the defeats awbraae Unas, expoiag then to the ravese. o deadly diueeee. fuo Cure foes straight to the ee of the Double, stops the eeugVreotloe STlm7d owily roUeve. unhealthy coockioe. Becaiae oae pUul tae and freedom from dangerous logredieott m the ideal remedy foi children. At the tirt .yotptom. of cough or cold la the aula eoea you will save sorrow and tuf enog you GIVE THEM PISO'S CUZ r i.j - ji' - Sftcerf SSusineSS 6ccpe CKscatmvs sooxlst riss fob PINK PILES! letula Cur. and feck Mitt by aaal) . DEPT. B. A MINNIAPOLI8, MINN. Rural Telephones Do you realize that rural telephones, more than anything else, tend to increase the earning power of every farm and farmer? Do you realize that ALL of the material needed to build the very best rural telephone line exactly the same as the Bell Company puts up will cost you and your neigh bors less than half a bale of cotton or twenty bushels of wheat each? NOrrHElW of U ApMrUU Lqmp nnt usd in th Const roe tioo, Oparttioi svod Wit- Boat on Chicago Pavr Lot AnftU New York FADELESS DYES ,,M..,-rb..tt.rtb.navot"rdTa Toa ? I "iaud Sa cilori' MONBOE VtlVU CO.. U.tacr. - QUITE SO. "Some people run through their money." "Very foolish." Quite so. Wealth was made to roll in." LoulsvlUe Courier-Journal. How's This? We offer One liundred Dollars Reward nf Catarrh that cannot be cured by Hall's Catarrh Care. ' F.J. Cuimr A Co.. Toledo. O. We, the undersigned . have known r. J. Cheney for the Ut IS yeara, and believe bim perfectly honorable m all bneinees transactions ana nnanciauy i out any ebligations made by bia tirm. Waldio, KisnAJt ft AUBVia, Wbole aale Dnigmste, Toledo, O. M . Hall'sCatarrhCure is taken mtflrnaUy.act Insdirectlr upon the blood and mueuonasur faces of the sritem. Teetiroonia sent free. Lnce 7Si pir bottle, Roki by all Dnntpsta. Take Hall's Family Pills for eonatipation. RAPID TRANSIT. ... i,.. t.,t rppelved A tirs. oiuiiuri j telegram from mirable Invention the telegram is. ,.lm.j "when you come to 1 consl(ltr tTiat this message has como i ft .jjtance 0f thousands ol muen and , th on the envelope Un't dry yet." Tit-Bits. SHAFTING, PULLEYS, BELTS LOMBARD IRON WORKS, AUGUSTA, a. W Buy CIIDC Feth.ra.T.nw. Iu. Glif. tQ WIM Clar, tc. We an deaUnl th-u:.! 1856 "Orar bV a aumrr ia LmrJb" aaj caa ia bettw far J thaa . mo a ar i. ,wi in ' aMrchaaa. fUtmrnm, aar Baak la Lwirnfti. 'W'rili lor naab (Ms Iwl aaS aWppias taa. i m. Sabel A Bona, ttt I. Btrktt SU L0UISVILH.ICT. (At-8'09) ay'" V CHaOU" HAIR RKSTORER. .frlca. i.OO, retail. 1? iifli Ira OAINKBVILLB, OA. EYE (HSUMPtB. CATARRHAL FEVER ANB AIL NOSE AND THROAT DISEASE Cnree the sick and acta as a preventive for others. LinnicJ; Erea oa the tonjrne. Bate for brood mares and all others. Be dney remeoyiM cents and II a bottle: as and tlO the dosem. Hold by all druggists and horse goods houses, or sent, expree paid, by the manufacturers. SrOHN MXDICAL CO., ChsmUU, C0SH8M. INDIANA, PRINTING VE OUTFITS JKfcE UrautiM write W. A. FOWLS Fl, 114 Situ Hlraat. ttUnU. " GTRI AKO WESTERN OFFICES Phfltdttpht Pituburg Stinl Paul Sit Uki City Eui FrmttciMO For I6cj uroautrutwiewttffirt 9 1000 kernel Fins Onion Seed. IMS " Colrr, lOOPanley. 1000 " Juicy Radih Sd. VT. 1600 " ButtaryLtuceSd. 160 " Talr Turnip Sxvl. R 1DS " votRu!!bagaS;d. 100 " Melons. leTometo. - 'i aii io,ee ai tT""f V ?t.OO of HT m maorj (lirfnd'nf T 11 (.Mioijail oMiidtotliiee J andTrie smS see e 41 a poS-1 i a runt, T.ol nS """" IMWmHWWI vtjm aetodT. S THE JOBS A SALZE1 SILB W. , LaCROaSK, tVla. SsiS.Cf ."1 n.i The Reason I Hake and Sell More Men'i$3 00 it, $j. JO Shoes Than Any Other Manufacturer b trMM I (1" U iam ht ai ef tka Bt c.apl.u oriMlutt ot IraUwS fapwW mi itllla .o..ftk., 1b lh eovatry . . Tlw ..iKtton 1 U. UatlMri let mt part ar Ika ikaa, ani ...it ULU af iaa miLini U av.ry a9Mtat, la Uoua afur ay iaa aa.1 to ika aaoa laaacary. It I ci4 .aaw yoo bow carafatly W. L. Doaglu abMe ar. auda. yoa woaja ta.a uaanland vay ih.y bold UMaT anapa, St attaar, aadwaar la&far ahaa aay aUhai auka. Sty Uttxod of TaruilngthtSolU Mttl thtfi Mart flttiblmani longer W taring than any cthir: Shan for KT.ry Mrmhtp of the Fnmtly, Meu, Jtuya, VomM,Jtl laaea and Cliililrau Tnr aala ry alio dealera ererybera. rKIITinM I Noie ir-nuln a. u hotit V. U PnnrtaS ItnU I lUll 1 tiania aitd prlna waiupcd on lottom. Fact Color Byalrto UaaS Esdaalvary. Catalof B&aUad rraa. W. L DOUGLAS, t7 Spark St., Bretlttee, Maaa. I intCC MU aand toiTrB: a 4o-cJs I ADItS II. m ml TITA BAKA. aH.aae L Trtalmrairorrfaale lllaaeeca. rlaa W. ai)W tW Wr.Bt IK v U. a- Ktflf hrtmnsnn's Fyp. VatP.r ft m Mil 1 Arv-v i iinsairi 'n sn i 1 HDUTltlDil -W.F uarpcr'a Weekly.