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ty WOMAN SMUGGLERS. Some Feminine Tririre div Women have been declared to he torn smuggler possessors of a turp itude that recognizes no wrong In de Irnudlng a government. Armed with arguments inidefence of my kind, I prepared to discuss the question with the Colljectofot the Port of w fork, but at my first -euBgestiotf ot tottt reputed delinquencies Ms..Loeb Interrupted me. "That Is an idea to which I will not assent," he said emphatically. "Wo men by nature are not smugglers. Moreover, the average traveler is hon est" "JJen are my authority for the statement," I urged. "Husbands, at any rate, are always telling stories of the cleverness and delight of their wives In outwitting officials." "I have heard them Joke," the Col lector replied, "putting their wives under the ban of an ldlous stigma. For such men I have only contempt." Although, with his vindication, my own carefully prepared line of argu ment was rendered unavailable, leav ing me In midair, as it were, without tje support of a leading question, it served to call out the following story: Not long ago a Becond-class passen ger en me in who was known to have been the purchaser In Europe of valu able optical instruments, but he de clared nothing and nothing was found In his baggage. In his party, how ever, were two women, his wife and her friend. Suspicions were excited and the women were examined. The optical instruments were found con cealed about the waist of each heavy loads Indeed to carry on con sciences as well as on waistbands. The officials were in a dilemma. The pan could not be arrested, for be had not smuggled. The women had, but could they be imprisoned? One car rled. a nursing baby, the other was burcrened with a sick child. Consld rattos of pure humanity set them free' 'N Hi ' if,, A t -. 1. I..- - 4rA.i. omen I might ha?"Mo!d-"t Collec tor, of a story In which tbewyysj , were more adroitly turned, oiiji un-'j inspecting husband. He wn a re tired general, a martinet In discipline, and overscrupulous regarding even the shadow of laxity In the fbrform ' ance of his own obligations. "No smuggling was to be permitted," he ' told his wife, and before leaving Parts 1 he Insisted on making a full lst of ewtry dutiable article in his posses- i, etost Unknown to him, she bought 1 "llAVAral varria nf Venetian tare NlTnw , . ,... - . tto hide it was a problem iaU1she (thought of ripping the llnlug of his overcoat and hiding the lu'.-l. Inside. She rea-erried hur ninntna asV tre- ifendous joke, and to this day h does not know how she laughed to Jferself when, wearing that very.me coat on the dock, he drew himself up to his full military height Jnd with free conaclence pointed to C tray contain- V "U hi" purchases? No idea of anything -1 serlouais deraudlng the Govern V had verehtMd her frollcspn.. mind. " ' In France distinctions are made be tween Uie honest and the dishonest traveler) and during the autumn of . H09 tbttforetgn paperi published a long series 6t instructions from the hlef of the "bureau in Parbp'to his subordinates, admonishing them to greater- consideration and courtesy, more discretion and the exercise of finer Intelligence in the discharge of their ilntlu 7 NEW. YORK'S'lABY EMIGRANTS. Tiny Foundlings Leafe the City For Homes j . in South fr-nd West. Baby emigrants, all speaking babjitbat the Foundling Asyium preier. PBDJ toilkr.ui. - . ., hnhlM. the- Mo her Su- language, a leaving New York CUf In treat numbers, and, unless things rmade more Inviting for them, the Juvenile population will be seriously depleted. . : j . Wherever these small people have "We they have become so popular that many letters have been written to the New York Foundling and Or phan Asylum, offering special induce ments if babies can be sent to play in childless homes, i A week ago seventy sturdy youtjf atersj between two and three y.jrtrt of age, pronounced, sound In miuil and hty by physicians, left for New Or leans, Memphis, Chicago, and other pities, where they will grw up en tirely Ignorant of their doubtful par Wage and forget all about the long Jwiiey they were forced tatjnake. ', As. ioon as a request Is deceived Vrti foundling, the clergymtn and R-.fts of the asylum in the city from hlch the request is made Ve writ ten to and Inquiries made as to the ind of home the child will ,be,ent If the answer are .satisfactory a r'pJ answering the request will be E lected, placed in the baby quaran j ne for two day to make sure that Is in perfect condition, and then shipped in charge of a nurse to Its 'v nome ' la talking about the dais oJ hornet w home. - -w.-w, 1 icij tU on the Customs We Amerlcun women find the toms law peculiarly oppressive be-4 uD ,u ,s almost tne only law with which moBt of ub ever come ineon tact. We go about our tasks at libme, live out our days and die, wfihout a thought of legal obligations. H'e are .proud of our freedom, we travel, glorying it it. booking of per sonal liberty as the very breath of our naUxmal existence- demanding, because of it, the overthrow of so many 'social traditions abroad that our less favorable sisters on the other side regard us with awe and envy. Then we start home. One day a steamship steward knocks at our stateroom door, hands us the Govern ment's printed form of declaration and the "Notice to Passengers." Sudden ly, for the first time In our lives, we find ourselves "bump up against" the law. Some of us cannot understand it. We tremble; our hearts beat. We have consultations with friends and strangers. Blood-curdling stories are told. t We can think of nothing else, talk of nothing else. Where have we packed our new things, where our old? Will they dig out everything? Will they believe us? Those little presents we have brought In ure they presents until we have declared them? And bo on and so on until our last days become a nightmare compared with which seasickness Is a paradise. Neither is there any man to protect us with any of those liberal "interpretations" which stand most ot us in stead. We must go through the ordeal as we go through death alone! : Some women are noble enough to accept the law smilingly. "My fa ther gave his life' to the making of laws for this country," said the daughter of a distinguished Senator, now dead, "and my business is to re apett' those laws. I pay my duties gladljr, happy to do that much for the Government which protects me." Meantime, -others of the honest rebel, thouVib, if we ar&Jionest "we must l""bey,as the old-time, child-song has ft,,',, There Is no escape from the law as long as it stands. Sophistries are not posslble.The law is there before us in black and white, inexorable, compelling. To point. In a defence of our rebellion, to greater frauds practiced by those at which the law'i administrators have long winked is neither fair nor dignified. This thing only we can do agitate the question If we will, urging calmly and soberly Just and sufficient reason why the law should be altered In our behalf. Century. Diplomatic Dress For 75 Years, During the first seventy-five yean of our Independence our consuls as well as diplomats wore a uniform or official dress, as It was called, pre scribed by the State Department, and modified from time to time. The last changes were made by Mr. Livingston, Secretary of State for Andrew Jack son, and the diplomatic dress con sisted of a blue coat and blue panta loons, with gold embroidery and a white waistcoat. Though simple In form, It represented the diplomats dress of other countries. The con sular attire was similar, though the naval button was prescribed and the costume had sometning or a navai air. Diplomats and consula wore small swords, but no epaulets. Tip, In the New York Press. for parentless babies, the1 Mother Su perior said: "We always try to place the little ones In a home where they will re- icelve a little better education than -e can give them In the institution. We are not particularly anttoua for thjem to be placed with farmers, as w do not think they would be (o well educated as they would be if ven to townspeople. "Babies are always between the ages of two and three wnen iney leave here, and, of course, we have a certain control over them until they come of age. It Is our object to see that they get good homes'; that the people are bright and not gloomy and that the babies receive religious training. "From time to time our agenta visit the homes, and we know exactly how things are going, and if the child Is happy. If we find that proper care is not given the baby, then we take it away. Berore a cnna leaves hare we have It examined by u nhvslclans. as no child who is not In perfect health Is .permitted to be placed with foster parents." From the New YorK American. t thm mnnth of MaV there' wet - ... ...... thirty auioldea in Philadelphia. SPJii'OHTLY 1)I1,UGPES- IV Ksrnnw "I inherited my futlier'e trm. Otherwise 1 am luropleieh- bust," Lut lie turned quite rwl when the lady paid: "Willi's Wiling your inheriuince in lrut ?' Town Topics. WHEUE HE MISLAID THEM. Surgeon "Where the deuce can I hnve left my glasses?" Wife Yon haven't hcon norfnrm. Ing an operation to-day, i suppose." I'elo Mule. NEEDS MUST. "John," demanded the 'militant wife, "will you always love me?" "f replmn ttn n vm tYa inavn, ? lon't see any way to get out ot It." UntlBvIlle Courier-Journal. THE PENALTY, btoit "Teddy has come In for a jood deal of castigating lately." Mntt-"Well a man tthn 1 lima t the public eye must expect o be un der tne lasn, you know." Boston Transcript. REFORMING NATURE. Mr. Townley (who has just agreed to take a country cottage) "Of course you'll have those trees straightened up a bit? They've got horribly warped." Punch. OTHER THINGS. "Remember, my boy, there are )ther things worth while in college besides athletics." I know. The mandolin and glee clubs aren't halt bad." Louisville Courier-Journal. PRETTIEST ONE OF ALL. Ha (tenderly) "And what do you think ot the engagement ring I sent you, Doris?" She (deliehtedlv) "Why. I think it l a beautv. Jack the very hand' someBt one I ever had given me. Lippincott a Magazine. 1 THE REAL PURPOSE. "So vou are Eolng to give a big house party for the pleasure ot invlt- Ina the neonle you like. "No," replied Mra. cumrox; -tor the pleasure ot omitting from the list people I don't like." Washington Sta?. SOME KIDDER. ,i:i you marry me?" "Well! This la the greatest sur nrlsB I ever had!" "t know It is. But you've got to have your first proposal some day, no matter how old youare. Well?" Cleveland Leader. SOULFUL BUT INCOMPLETE. "That was a beautiful poem he wrote to you," said Maude. "Yes." renlied Maymle, discontent edlv. "If he had left out a lot ot those capital letters and used more mnrit. that didn't rhyme. It would help some In a breach-of-promlEe case." Washington Star. FOR THE COMMON WEAL. Magistrate "You admit you stole the pig?" Prisoner "I "ave to." Magistrate "Very well, then. There has been a lot ot pig-stealing enine on. lately, and I am going to make an example of you, or none ol us will be safe." The Tatler. THE RUSH OF OPULENCE. What's making all that noise?" .oU tha mimmer suest. "Surely iOU are not running a thrashing machine at this time ot year." . "No," answered Farmer Corntos- sel; "the boys are figuring up the farm's profits on our new rapid calc litlrr t-a.Une." Washington star. THOSE OLD DAYS. Vicar's Daughter "I suppose the In kept you from me iuuww -,,Anr Ma Rtnarsr?" Mrs. BIoek "Well, partly, miss; n aneak true, wot with the rheu- h. ni dolu' away with the 'am and the , cake afterwards, funeral ain't the jaunts tney usea vu ue iur nae! " London Opinion. SEEK SIZE IN ELEPIIUNE GIRLS. Phyaloal Examinations Often Required, With Eduoetional Test Highest In Boston, She Is not a telenhone girl If she Is under five feet In height. The com panies employ only girls who can reach to the top of their switch boards and a reasonable distance sideways from their positions, and the caort ones never get a chance. Conditions existing In telephone exchanges throughout th country are' Intereatlnelv net forth In thp rennrt re cently sent to the Senate dealing with tne investigation made by 'he Bureau of Labor. The bulk of the report ripnlft with thn women ftmnlnvpa there Are 17,219 of them working at the switchboards lor twenty-seven companies In twenty-six States which furnished the data. . Agents of the bureau Tlslted seventy-three ex changes and found them, generally speaking, well housed. In many cases the girls were compelled to walk up from one to four flights of stnln and more than two-thirds of the complaints beard were because of the lack of elevators. Tn nnma plHtaa Imnnnlnir mpdtrnl nr physical examinations are reqntredof applicants. The height Is often de termined without the applicant's knowledge by a young woman who engages the former in conversation while she compares the level of the other's eyes with her own. The edu cational requirements are usually that the applicant must have passed tne sixtn or seventn graae in gram mar artinnl. Rnstnn alone nrefers high schools girls, but Is not always successful In obtnlnlng tnem. uins are put into training schools for a four weeks' course before they are placed at the switchboard. Wages for telephone girls vary from a highest monthly average ot $36.96 In New York City to $22.40 in Nashville, Tenn, In some of the smaller cities the average goes even lower, particularly In the South. The Bell company employs 16,258 women operators at an average monthly wage Of $30.91. In nearly all offices the operating force Is divided Into four general shifts. Dav onerators usually work between 6 a. m. and 7.30 p. m. Eve ning operators usually work from 11 a. m. to 8 p. m. Night operators usu ally work beyond midnight, while the work of "split-trick" operators Is di vided into two or more periods by an Intervals of more than two hours be tween two ot those periods. The newer end, therefore, younger gins are usually put on the "split trick." Efficient service Is possible up to 22S calls an hour for each girl. She cannot answer more than that wlth nnf inturv to herself or injuring the service. The bureau has reached the conclusion that the operator who hat not ennueh to do to keen her con stantly busy, however, does not prop erly attend to what she nas. rnmmlaalnnAF Kelll (tronElV Urge the practical elimination ot overtime for operators, and sayt this can be brought about If the larger cities will a tha ammnle. New York City hat done to. but In Chicago the Bell oper ators have about twenty-eight per cent, ot overtime and In New Orleans as high as ninety-eight per cent A widespread and Intelligent effort on the part ot the companies to look after the comfort and well neing oi Its women employee was found. On the other hand, the investigators ais. covered that the women were loyal to the companies and enthusiastic for tholi- wnrlr. all of which Is Said to add much to the efficiency of service to the public. Enitllsh llernld'e Coon Bongs. Reference has been made to the fact that Sir Alfred Scott-Gatty was once a popular song composer, and "True Till Death" has been lnstancea as an example of his talents In that direction. I wonder, 'however, how many who listened to Garter King oi Arm. nrnclatmlne George V. last Monday In all the glory of bit mediae val trappings and majesty oi pnra seology assoBlated him with those ty pically negro plantation ditties which hear his name both at composer and author. Millions have lustily shouted in the choruses of "De Ring Tall'd Coon," "De Ole Banjo" and "Dot's Berry Queer," to mention three of Sir Alfred's most popular efforts in ne gro minstrelsy. Altogether I think he hat a tcore of plantation tongs to his credit. London Dally News. Missouri's Resources. Mrt. John Curran, of Sti Louis, It the president of the Woman't Mis souri Development Association, which It working to have the 12,000,000 un llled acrea of rich MWsouri land brought under cultivation and to have agriculture taught in the tchoolt. The organization has offered eighty prizes to tchool children under sixteen for the best essay on "Missouri and Her Resources." It is establishing ust rooms In the different towns for u: of the wives of farmers and It bat called a land fongress to meet, in Ar iwiVx this month, at which OTi-r 1200 ioleCjjtet ars expected. A Disappointing Dltoevery. Any one who Imagines that life fa lacking In amenities tmong the newt boys In the big city should listen oc casionally to their talk. When these two each with his package of news papers under his arm met, one ap peared somewhat glum and dis gruntled, whereupon the other benevo lently essayed to cheer him up. "Say, Bill, you 'member d.it dime I fought I lost yesterday di one I wat goln' to treat youae wld?" "Sure." assented Bill, sullenly; then, with growing reproachfulness of tone, "I treated youse twlcet already, Jim!" "Well," went on Jim, animatedly, "wot d'youse t'ink I found Jus' now? I wuz feelin" round la dls pocket, an' I found, right here In die pocket, I" A dramatically timed pause. "Youse found de dime!" exclaimed Bill, brightening up. ."Say, Bill, youse always In a hurry. I wuz tryln' to tell youse dat I found de hole dat dime ot trough." Youth't Companion. A Potato Object Lesson. Rotting potatoet In Maine and New Brunswick, with the farmers destroy ing thousands of barrels because of the low prices to the producer. Here the consumer can pay anywhere from $1.00 to $1.60 a bushel.. Rotten potatoes on the farms; something rot tener in Denmark. Thoee who con trol our markets to gouge high prices out of the consumer won't bring In potatoes when they can get them cheap. Some day our American con sumers will generate wits and spunk enough to form co-operative societies, such as there art all over Great Britain, to go out and buy natural products wherever they are In tup ply, as the potatoes of Maine and New Brunswick now are, transport them to the centers ot population and distribute them to the consuming members of the co-operative societies at low prices. Oh, shucks! wbat't the matter with ut Yankees? New York Prest. Regard for Other' Opinions. Good men who are more Interested In getting together on a working bat Is than in having their own way can , find a better way than any one of them would have discovered alone. , Much of the wheel-clogging disagree ment among workers In tny cause it due to emphasis upon one't own opinions, and too little regard for the opinions of other. It Is all well enough for ut to be positively in far or of our own opinions, but It might, be an encouragement to our co-workers and a lubricant to the wheele oi progress If we were now anil then positively In favor of other folk opinions. If co-operative work it to be done at all, the tooner men find out what they can do heartily togeth er, and forget what each one would prefer to do If alone In the work, the better it will be for that enterprlte. Sunday-School Timet. The Long Silence. "Tee, we are pretty comfortably flx ed here," admitted a veteran em ploye in the reading room of the Cea- gresstonal Library, evnen v envied him his toft berth and com lortable turroundlngt. "But there't one thing we long for, yea, thirst tot with a burning thirst. Thafa nolte, a real, nerve-racking, ear-spUttlni noise. The long hours of soft tllenoe, the dead ttlllness of everything about growt to oppressive that at timet we oould ehrlek out. We get Inte a tort of tick-room tiptoe and a lo tone of voice that finally degenerate Into a whisper even at the telephone. Give ut an occasional battery of er tlllery or a roaring Hon or a steam calliope. Even a equaling baby would help some. Washington Star. . OTHER TOPICS. "A Chaucer Club, eh?" said Mrt. Oausslp. "I don't know that I care to much about Chaucer." "Oh, com on and joint" urged Mrs. Gabble. "We haven't talked about Chaucer since the club etart ed." Loulavllle Courier-Journal. For BreaKfast with cream or aiffi. The smile that follows will last all day J Th Memory Lingerj" Sold hy Crocer. Flig.' lOo'and 13d. rOBTUM CEREAL COMFANY. l0 4 ami. Orwk. Mi.-. . . Toa 1 . r t. ...J. !