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THE EVENING TELEGRAM. LAKELAND1, FLA., WEDNESDAY, JUNE 25 , 1919
liBlii - ' Has Returned ;: raS : . " ; Apply to him at 118 1-2 Main Street I ISk' - -.; Office Phone 94 :" 1 '.. 1 ; . , ; ' - -J Correct Stationery Boxed or by the Pound IN ALL COLORS ) f Orders Taken for Engraved Visiting Cards LAKELAND BOOK STORE JUSTIFIABLE ASSAULT I ACROSS THE RIVER JORDAN My colored boy, Sam, was arrested for striking another darky; and the court, asked him. if he was guilty or not. 'Sam replied: "Well, your honor 1 hit him, but I would like to tell the court how It happened." "Go ahead," said the court. "Judge, did you ever play seven up?,k "Never mind," said the judge. "Just, tell how it was." , "Well, it was this way: Me and him were playing a game of seven.up for a quarter a game. , He won all my money but one quarter. I was my deal. He begged. 1 were six and h were two. I had the trey and ten and jack of spades, which were trumps. I gave him one,and that made him three. Then he flung hisface and I put my trey on it. Then he flung his king and I put on my ten on It. Then he flung his queen and I had to put my jack on it, and then he flung his deuce, and I hit him." BUT IT WASN'T RECENTLY v A husky looking person In a flannel shirt, who had evidently strayed seme distance off his accustomed beat, walked up to the Waldorf bar, flipped a dime down on the mahogany, and said: "Gimme a drink of rye." "We don't sell ten-cent drinks here.'" said the man in, the white jacket. i ' The stranger reached for his dime. "I can't drink that nickel stuff!" he murmured, and walked out. Two Irishmen had passed away, one to the "pearly gates" and the other to hades. Pat, in heaven, was louesome for Mike. Pat secured per mission from St. Peter to telephone to Mike, and the following converse, tion is said to have taken place: "Is that you, Mike?" "It is that." "Do they be keepin' you busy down there?" '.'Not so much." "What air you doin?" "Shoveling coal two, hours Ivery day. Is ye busy yerself, Pat?" "Indale we are workin" twinty hours a day scrubbin' down the golden steps." "Faith, why do yez work sich long haurs?" "Sure we're short of help up here." MORE THAN PLUMB Rafferty, the contractor, was erect ing a brick church. Murphy, the building contractor, came along. "Rafferty, your front wall is not plumb." Much incensed, the contractor goes up the ladder and isquints down a plumb line in a dozen places. Then he yells down: "Mr. Murphy, come and look for y'self. Not plumb? Be Jabers, 'tis more than plumb!" , It promises tj be a poor summer for swallows, unless Bomeone rises to the occasion and puts a little gin in gin. gerale. . . - mm .roar: ssut $ V fcas & V 1. JlJksfifi;. it MARKS' ORCHESTRA Having decided to spend my summer vacation here, I will - be glad to furnish music for any occasion, having a ccmpfcte library of the latest up-to-date music for all classes. Will b rlad to have a few more pupils. Can take a few at night if desired. Young pupils preferred. Will be In Lakeland until September 20th; there .ftcr, will assume my duty for. the third year as musical director of the University of Florida. Music, les sons given on any instruments. I guarantee to teach you the real rudi ments of music so much neglected by teachers. PROF. A. R. MARKS Feeling Blue? Xiver Lazy? Take a Calotab Wonderful How Young and Ener getic Ton Feel After Taking This Nausealess Calomel Tablet If you have not tried Calotabs you have a delightful surprise awaiting you. The wonderful liver-cleansing and. system-purifying properties of calomel may now.be enjoyed without the slightest unpleasantness. K Cal otab at bedtime wth a swallow of water, that's all'. No taste, no salts, nor the slightest unpleasant effects. Tou wake up in the morn ing feeling so good that you want to laugh about It. Tour liver Is clean, your system is purified, your appetite hearty. Eat what you wish, no dan ger. The next time you feel lazy, mean, nervous, blue or discouraged give your liver a thorough cleansing with a Calotab. They are so perfect that your druggist Is authorized to re fund the price as a guarantee that you will be delighted. 'Calotabs are sold only in original, sealed packages. Price thirty-five cents. At all drugstores. (adv.) The submarine had sunk the steam er and McTavish and MacPherson had been adrift for two days In an open boat. Finally McTavish got down on his knees and said: "0. Lord, I ken I've broken maist 0' thy commandments. I've been a hard drinker all my " days but, 0 Lord, if we're spared this time,' I promise never" MacPherson "I widna commit my. sel' over far, Donald, I think I see land yon." THERE'8 A DIFFERENCE "Marriage sIs a lottery." "Not exactly," 'commented Miss Cayenne. "When you lose in a lot tery it's an easy matter to tear up the ticket and forget" It." Additional Classified Advertising Bolshevism is a state of mind but. rounded by whiskers. THE WASH ROOM TRAGEDY 1 ' They found him in the wash room of the Pullman sleeping car. Some thought that he had fallen and been staggered by the Jar; Some fancied he had fainted; and Some guessed he had a stroke, But the wise ones only chuckled, when at last the victim spoke: "I was shaving! I was shaving! Oh! I can't remember more. I was shaving, busy shaving,- when 1 seemed to hit the floor!" It was early in the morning and the train was pulling in When the gentleman decided thathe ' . scrape his cheeks and chin; So, regardless of his neighbor who might want to wash his face, He proceeded very calmly to make use of all the space. I can't tell just what happened, for the room was very small, And a lot of us were waiting, when we heard the stranger fall. On the leather cushions near him stood his open traveling case And his personal posessions occupied each bit of space. From the hooks his clothing dangled he'd monopolized them all- There were shaving soap and powder and some stuff we couldn't call, Quite enough to stock a drug store on the . wash stand strewn about, Which is why the wise ones chuckled when they found him flattened out. No one seems to know the story, no one seems to care to tell. -' We found him cold and silent in the wash room where he fell, There are some, who think he fainted, some who think he had a stroke, . . But the wise ones sit and chuckled, and they treated it as a joke. For they know that someone landed, with a wallop swift and straight On- the hog within the washroom. who, too oft, had tempted fate. Edgar A. Guest. POSITION WANTED in private fam ily for about six weeks. Southern people preferred. Address Mrs. 9189 Bush, 407 North Florida Ave. FOR SALE Good cow, now fresh Apply to H. H. Newman, East Lima street. 0188 It is requested that Robt. W. Austin and Jrene A. Austin communicate with Box 586, Lakeland, Fla., Imme diately. "9184 WISH TO BUY AT ONCE light road - ster on Installment plan; must be In number one condition. Have steady position In town. Address "Car," care Telegram. 9191 New Photo Studio HALLEN OF TAMPA NOW OPEN FOR BUSINESS CRANE BUILDING The only thing to put off in the morning is your coat. Some people think1 that a brass band makes sweet music, but what about the mill whistle at quitting time? s Russiari'paper rubles are now quot. ed by the sack the sack charged ex tra'. Enough sausage to make . a watch chain wilbuy a bale. Sawmill singing all day long, Like a locust In July. Sawmill running all night long, Hiss and hum and moan and sigh. NOTICE OF ISSUANCE OF WRIT OF GARNISHMENT. C. M. Keen, plaintiff, vs. A. A, Fiu.011. de fendantIn Justice Court, 10th District. Polk county, Florida. To A. A. Fussell, defendant, and al other whom It may concern: - Take notice that a. writ of garnishu.rnt has been Issued In the above cause, and that your property In the bands of D. Fulghum lus been garnlsheed. Now, unless you appear before Frank Thompson, Justice of the peace in and for the luth district of Polk county. Florid , on or before the ilst day. of July, A. V. 1919, judg ment by default will be entered aeatns't you C. M. KEKN, Plaintiff. Thjs 16th day of June, A. D. 1919. FRANK H. THOMPSON, 9145 Justice of Peace. Daily Fashion Hint ,-HV FASHIONABLE THIS SEASON. Long wraps are so fashionable this year that they are to be worn with out regard to season. This model In eerge Is doubly becoming because of the deep shoulder yoke and panel front It may be reproduced in silk tricotine, satin broadcloth or taffeta. Medium size requires 6 yards 40-lnca material, with 1 yard contrasting material for trimming. ; Pictorial Review Coat No. . 214. Sizes, small, medium and large. Price, 25 cents. The Very Latest Styles in Summer Shoes TRUE to our policy of being always, a few steps in advance, we offer for your' inspection and purchase a very choice assortment of summer shoes, in the very height of fashion and. in all sizes. , Wfe call your particular attention to Keds;' the perfected rubbtr-soled canvas shoes that everybody is wearing this summer. There's ease and comfort in their specially woven canvas tops buoyancy and life in their springy rubber soles. The Clonts Store GOTTLIEBtheFOTOGRAFER Fotografs ANYTHING ANYWHERE ANT TBTE By Latest Process STUDIO RAYH0NDO BUILDING ' "BABIES Quick as a Wink' ' V ' ' ' ' . :. '.''..V. The Grocerteria The Self Service Store Corner Pine St. and Kentucky Ave. Spring and Summer Wear We are Here with the Goods Palm Beach Suits $12.50 to $15.00 ; Kool Cloth $12.50 to $15.00 Mohairs $1 7.50 to $25.00 Bion F. Reynolds and Crossett Oxfords I Our Straw Hat Stock is Complete Melton-Ott Clothing Co.