THE EVENING TELEGRAM. LAKELAND1, FLA., WEDNESDAY, JUNE 25 , 1919
liBlii - ' Has Returned ;:
raS : . " ; Apply to him at 118 1-2 Main Street
I ISk' - -.; Office Phone 94 :" 1 '.. 1 ; .
, ; ' - -J
Boxed or by the Pound
IN ALL COLORS )
Orders Taken for
Engraved Visiting Cards
LAKELAND BOOK STORE
JUSTIFIABLE ASSAULT I ACROSS THE RIVER JORDAN
My colored boy, Sam, was arrested
for striking another darky; and the
court, asked him. if he was guilty or
not. 'Sam replied:
"Well, your honor 1 hit him, but
I would like to tell the court how It
"Go ahead," said the court.
"Judge, did you ever play seven
up?,k "Never mind," said the judge. "Just,
tell how it was." ,
"Well, it was this way: Me and
him were playing a game of seven.up
for a quarter a game. , He won all my
money but one quarter. I was my
deal. He begged. 1 were six and h
were two. I had the trey and ten and
jack of spades, which were trumps.
I gave him one,and that made him
three. Then he flung hisface and I
put my trey on it. Then he flung
his king and I put on my ten on It.
Then he flung his queen and I had to
put my jack on it, and then he flung
his deuce, and I hit him."
BUT IT WASN'T RECENTLY v
A husky looking person In a flannel
shirt, who had evidently strayed seme
distance off his accustomed beat,
walked up to the Waldorf bar, flipped
a dime down on the mahogany, and
"Gimme a drink of rye."
"We don't sell ten-cent drinks
here.'" said the man in, the white
jacket. i '
The stranger reached for his dime.
"I can't drink that nickel stuff!" he
murmured, and walked out.
Two Irishmen had passed away,
one to the "pearly gates" and the
other to hades. Pat, in heaven, was
louesome for Mike. Pat secured per
mission from St. Peter to telephone
to Mike, and the following converse,
tion is said to have taken place:
"Is that you, Mike?"
"It is that."
"Do they be keepin' you busy down
'.'Not so much."
"What air you doin?"
"Shoveling coal two, hours Ivery
day. Is ye busy yerself, Pat?"
"Indale we are workin" twinty hours
a day scrubbin' down the golden
"Faith, why do yez work sich long
"Sure we're short of help up here."
MORE THAN PLUMB
Rafferty, the contractor, was erect
ing a brick church.
Murphy, the building contractor,
"Rafferty, your front wall is not
Much incensed, the contractor goes
up the ladder and isquints down a
plumb line in a dozen places. Then
he yells down:
"Mr. Murphy, come and look for
y'self. Not plumb? Be Jabers, 'tis
more than plumb!" ,
It promises tj be a poor summer for
swallows, unless Bomeone rises to the
occasion and puts a little gin in gin.
gerale. . . -
mm .roar: ssut $ V fcas &
Having decided to spend my summer vacation here, I will - be glad to
furnish music for any occasion, having a ccmpfcte library of the latest up-to-date
music for all classes. Will b rlad to have a few more pupils.
Can take a few at night if desired. Young pupils preferred. Will be In
Lakeland until September 20th; there .ftcr, will assume my duty for. the
third year as musical director of the University of Florida. Music, les
sons given on any instruments. I guarantee to teach you the real rudi
ments of music so much neglected by teachers.
PROF. A. R. MARKS
Take a Calotab
Wonderful How Young and Ener
getic Ton Feel After Taking This
Nausealess Calomel Tablet
If you have not tried Calotabs you
have a delightful surprise awaiting
you. The wonderful liver-cleansing
and. system-purifying properties of
calomel may now.be enjoyed without
the slightest unpleasantness. K Cal
otab at bedtime wth a swallow of
water, that's all'. No taste, no
salts, nor the slightest unpleasant
effects. Tou wake up in the morn
ing feeling so good that you want to
laugh about It. Tour liver Is clean,
your system is purified, your appetite
hearty. Eat what you wish, no dan
ger. The next time you feel lazy,
mean, nervous, blue or discouraged
give your liver a thorough cleansing
with a Calotab. They are so perfect
that your druggist Is authorized to re
fund the price as a guarantee that
you will be delighted.
'Calotabs are sold only in original,
sealed packages. Price thirty-five
cents. At all drugstores. (adv.)
The submarine had sunk the steam
er and McTavish and MacPherson
had been adrift for two days In an
open boat. Finally McTavish got
down on his knees and said:
"0. Lord, I ken I've broken maist
0' thy commandments. I've been a
hard drinker all my " days but, 0
Lord, if we're spared this time,' I
MacPherson "I widna commit my.
sel' over far, Donald, I think I see
THERE'8 A DIFFERENCE
"Marriage sIs a lottery."
"Not exactly," 'commented Miss
Cayenne. "When you lose in a lot
tery it's an easy matter to tear up
the ticket and forget" It."
Bolshevism is a state of mind but.
rounded by whiskers.
THE WASH ROOM TRAGEDY
They found him in the wash room of
the Pullman sleeping car.
Some thought that he had fallen and
been staggered by the Jar;
Some fancied he had fainted; and
Some guessed he had a stroke,
But the wise ones only chuckled,
when at last the victim spoke:
"I was shaving! I was shaving! Oh! I
can't remember more.
I was shaving, busy shaving,- when 1
seemed to hit the floor!"
It was early in the morning and the
train was pulling in
When the gentleman decided thathe
' . scrape his cheeks and chin;
So, regardless of his neighbor who
might want to wash his face,
He proceeded very calmly to make
use of all the space.
I can't tell just what happened, for
the room was very small,
And a lot of us were waiting, when
we heard the stranger fall.
On the leather cushions near him
stood his open traveling case
And his personal posessions occupied
each bit of space.
From the hooks his clothing dangled
he'd monopolized them all-
There were shaving soap and powder
and some stuff we couldn't call,
Quite enough to stock a drug store
on the . wash stand strewn
Which is why the wise ones chuckled
when they found him flattened
No one seems to know the story, no
one seems to care to tell. -'
We found him cold and silent in the
wash room where he fell,
There are some, who think he fainted,
some who think he had a
stroke, . .
But the wise ones sit and chuckled,
and they treated it as a joke.
For they know that someone landed,
with a wallop swift and straight
On- the hog within the washroom.
who, too oft, had tempted fate.
Edgar A. Guest.
POSITION WANTED in private fam
ily for about six weeks. Southern
people preferred. Address Mrs.
Bush, 407 North Florida Ave.
FOR SALE Good cow, now fresh
Apply to H. H. Newman, East Lima
It is requested that Robt. W. Austin
and Jrene A. Austin communicate
with Box 586, Lakeland, Fla., Imme
WISH TO BUY AT ONCE light road
- ster on Installment plan; must be
In number one condition. Have
steady position In town. Address
"Car," care Telegram. 9191
The only thing to put off in the
morning is your coat.
Some people think1 that a brass
band makes sweet music, but what
about the mill whistle at quitting
Russiari'paper rubles are now quot.
ed by the sack the sack charged ex
tra'. Enough sausage to make . a
watch chain wilbuy a bale.
Sawmill singing all day long,
Like a locust In July.
Sawmill running all night long,
Hiss and hum and moan and sigh.
NOTICE OF ISSUANCE OF WRIT OF
C. M. Keen, plaintiff, vs. A. A, Fiu.011. de
fendantIn Justice Court, 10th District. Polk
To A. A. Fussell, defendant, and al other
whom It may concern: -
Take notice that a. writ of garnishu.rnt has
been Issued In the above cause, and that your
property In the bands of D. Fulghum lus been
Now, unless you appear before Frank
Thompson, Justice of the peace in and for the
luth district of Polk county. Florid , on or
before the ilst day. of July, A. V. 1919, judg
ment by default will be entered aeatns't you
C. M. KEKN, Plaintiff.
Thjs 16th day of June, A. D. 1919.
FRANK H. THOMPSON,
9145 Justice of Peace.
Daily Fashion Hint
FASHIONABLE THIS SEASON.
Long wraps are so fashionable this
year that they are to be worn with
out regard to season. This model In
eerge Is doubly becoming because
of the deep shoulder yoke and panel
front It may be reproduced in silk
tricotine, satin broadcloth or taffeta.
Medium size requires 6 yards 40-lnca
material, with 1 yard contrasting
material for trimming. ;
Pictorial Review Coat No. . 214.
Sizes, small, medium and large. Price,
The Very Latest Styles in Summer Shoes
TRUE to our policy of being always, a few steps in
advance, we offer for your' inspection and purchase a very
choice assortment of summer shoes, in the very height of
fashion and. in all sizes. ,
Wfe call your particular attention to Keds;' the perfected
rubbtr-soled canvas shoes that everybody is wearing this summer.
There's ease and comfort in their specially woven canvas
tops buoyancy and life in their springy rubber soles.
The Clonts Store
STUDIO RAYH0NDO BUILDING '
"BABIES Quick as a Wink' '
V ' ' ' '
The Self Service Store
Corner Pine St. and Kentucky Ave.
Spring and Summer Wear
We are Here with the Goods
Palm Beach Suits $12.50 to $15.00
; Kool Cloth $12.50 to $15.00
Mohairs $1 7.50 to $25.00
Bion F. Reynolds and Crossett
I Our Straw Hat Stock is Complete
Melton-Ott Clothing Co.
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