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THE HOLBROOK NEWS, HOLBROOK, ARIZ., JUNE 23, 1922.
Help That Aching Back! I your back giving out? Are yon tortured with backache and stabbing pains? Doe any exertion leave you all played out"? Feel you just can't keep going? Likely your kidneys are to blame. Overwork, a trains, hurry and worry tend to weaken the kidney. Backache is often the first warning. Headaches and dizziness may come, too, and annoying bladder irregularities. Hero the kidneys with Doan's Kidney Pills the remedy recommended by thousands. Ask your neighbor! A Colorado Case A. Bruton, taxi dermist and sho-, maker. 249 Main, m St., Delta, Colo., says: "My back was lame and hurl. me when I stooped. My kidneys wert disordered and the secretions unnat ural. The drinking of snow water when I was in the! mountains broughi this trouble on. 1 heard of Doan's Kidney Pills and tried them. Doan's benefited very way and I haven't had any symptoms of kidney trouble for a long- time." Cat Oesaili at Aay Slate, 60c a Bos DOAN'S WAV FOSTER MILBURN CO.. BUFFALO. N. Y. TO KILL RATS and MICE Always use the genuine STEARNS' ELECTRIC PASTE It foroM these pests to mo from the building for water sua iresn sir. un, mice. eociraicoM, w.ier sags and ants destroy food and property and are carrlera of diaeas. READY FOR USE BETTER THAN TRAPS AHrecuons m 16 lengnagee Is every Dos. loi.leSfe. Uos-SlsatUa. MONEY BACK IF IT FAILS She Said Something. Every day new examples of the Yersatility of the very young come to band. The latest is about the little girl who forgot her manners when she was handed a piece of candy. "Aren't yon going to say anything to meT" asked her mother. And the tiny youngster threw her arms around mother's neck and exclaimed: T11 tell the world, mother, you're some kid." Sure Relief FOR INDIGESTION 1 6 Bellans W Hot wafer diH Sure Relief ELE.-ANS St anrj 73 Package Everywoero You can join the "Edgeworth Club There are thousands of members, most of whom don't realize they be long. There are no initiation fees. No dues. No assessments. Nearly every man who smokes a pipe is either a member or a prospec tive member. (We say "nearly" be cause there are some men who find Edgeworth not just right for them.) Any pipe-smoker becomes a mem ber of the "Edgeworth Club" as soon as he starts to smoke Edgeworth. It won't dawn on him at first, per haps, but after he has smoked a few cans he will notice other Edgeworth smokers. He will find a comradeship that he . shares with them not easy to explain or understand, but real and lasting. Suddenly he knows he belong that he is a life member of the " Edgeworth Club."! Edgeworth smokers are generally good, likable chaps. It isn't smoking Edgeworth, of course, that makes them so. They happen to be the kind of men who choose Edgeworth. If you have never tried Edgeworth and think you might like to join the " Club," we'll be glad to introduce you as our guest. Write to us. A post card will do. Just send us your name and address and say "I'd like to try Edgeworth," and we'll send you free samples of Plug Slice and Ready-Rubbed. If you'll add the name and address of the dealer you usually buy your tobacco from, we'd appreciate the courtesy. Edgeworth comes Ready Rubbed or Plug Slice. Edgeworth Ready-Rubbed is already rubbed for you. You pour it straight from the can into the bowl of your pipe. Both kinds pack nicely, light quick ly, and burn freely and evenly. Edgeworth is sold in various sizes to suit the needs and means of all purchasers. Both Edgeworth Plug Slice and Edgeworth Ready-Rubbed are packed in small, pocket size pack ages, in handsome tin humidors and glass jars, and also in various handy ia-between quantities. For the free samples address Larus & Brother Company, 00 South 21st Street. Richmond, Va. To Retail Tobacco Merchants : If your jobber cannot supply you with Edgeworth, Larus & Brother Com pany will gladly send you prepaid by parcel post a one- or two-dozen carton of any size of Edgeworth Plug Slice or Ready-Rubbed for the same price yon would pay the fobberijc " , me 1 v ESS B 1 Comedy Divorce in Arizona Town Respondent All That Was Left of Mojave Indian After Mix Up With Dynamite. JOHN'S JOKES FELL FLAT Flapper Named Starlight Was Co respondent and Jury Included Such Prominent Citizens as Rattlesnake Charlie and Gold Tooth Nellie. Outnian, Ariz. This town is Just juieting down iifier the decision in the divorce case ol oatman vs. Outman. John Oatman, a Mojave Indian, was sued by his wife Estelle. They were married in 1003 and have ten chil dren. Six years ago John used dyna mite in working a claim in the Out man gold mining district. Through some misunderstanding with the dy namite John lost one eye and most of his scalp and was obliged to call in Doc Hoag "1'alnless Houg" to pull out all that were left of his teeth and give him a set of artificial ones. These, with a glass eye and a lux urious wig, made John practically as good as new. But Estelle seemed to feel from that time on that some thing was missing from the husband she once knew. John' Little Jokes. Something a little less than love seemed to fill John's heart too as the years rolled by. Bootleg peddlers found John a willing customer, and he tasted deeply, as Estelle 3ald after ward, of coffin varnish, forty rod and sheepherder's delight. Buoyed up by these, John tried to make Estelle's life less humdrum by sneaking up be hind her in the dark after be had stripped and rubbed phosphorus over his body. Instead of being pleased, she screamed. He then tried to amuse her by doing the old tribal dunces of the Mojaves. This also feir flat. Noth ing seemed to please her. The ten children were little better. From time to time John would sud denly remove his glass eye and snatch oft his wig, exposing his dynamited scalp, but they only bawled. Even Uils harmless amusement was denied him at last, for he had been In the habit of putting up his glass eye in a poker game. If he lost he simply ordered another by mall. But event ually the firm that sent them to him refused to give him any more credit and lie was obliged to go about with no glass eye at all. While he was In this pathetic con dition his wife cooked up a dinner of jack rabbit for him one day and he ate it under the impression it was fish. What made this truly serious was the fact that the Yavapai tribe, to which Estelle belongs, always eat Jack rabbit, but the Mojaves never do. This has been understood for hundreds of years by both tribes and never lo- lated until Estelle's act. The substi tution preyed on John frightfully, and he worked late at night making home brew from cactus. About this time John and his wife's father, the old gentleman known as George Forest-of-Cattle. sat down on the dirt floor one night during Es telle's absence to stage a friendly lit tle battle between tarantulas and vln agrones, which bite like tarantulas or worse, cooping the contestants In Es telle's best sugar bowl. John alleged afterward that the old gentleman se cretly sprinkled nnt powder all over John's tarantulas, thereby causing them to curl up and die at a critical moment In the fight, and that as a re sult of this underhand work he lost to his father-in-law all the money he made panning gold during the previ ous summer. Aversion to Wife's Mother. When Mrs. Outman returned home John annoyed her by scratching mutches on the soles of bis bare feet. She wanted him to be nice to her mother, Mary Forest-of-Cattle, but he replied that no orthodox Mojave Indian ever looked at a mother-in-law, pointing out that he hadn't looked at the old girl since their marriage In 1003, and stated further that lie didn't intend to look ut her till the Colorado river froze over. Shortly after this Estelle begun to How Oregon Cares for Its Women Jurors This slums the cozy quarters for the latest magazines and newspapers to for several months. CATS TRAINED TO They Have Cleared Fields of Pests in Washington in Many Instances. Tekoa. Wash. Farmers in this sec tion of the state find that house cats are a success in their fields killing go phers. A. E. Hollister has probably a hundred cuts which have been trained to hunt und slay the destruc tive pocket ri,t suspect that John was holding some thing out on her. Ue used to come in lute at night whistling "The Sheik" through his false teeth and refusing to answer any questions. Mrs. Oatman immediately suspected Starlight Ocatlllo, a light sorrel flap per of the Yavapai tribe, who wore hers rolled down. Mrs. Outman put mud on her hair. She then begun cutting down on the menu. From then on she fed John chile con carne and prunes, tortillas and prunes, enchiladas and prunes, frljoles and prunes and tamales and prunes. For variety she served prunes. John went out back of the house one day and built a covered pit. Working patiently, he got it filled with Gila monsters, lizards, vinagrones, scorpions, tarantulas and rattlesnakes. Estelle failed to fall Into it, but this was simply because she was stronger than John. The Last Straw. John then moodily took to eating loco-weed. Cheered by Its kindly stimulation he dragged Estelle out of the shack one scorching hot after noon, hoisted her to the top of a candelabra cactus 25 feet high and tied her there among the thorns. Late in the evening neighbors liv ing two miles away heard her pro tests and cut her down; but Estelle was now convinced that her husband's affection for her was falling. She hired Lawyer Lucas and went into court. John hired the other lawyer in Oat man H. C. Topps, who used to be Jigger boss on the graveyard shift In Death Valley's Funeral range, but who now owns and operates a ranch where he grows cactus spines for pho nograph needles. Attorney Topps at once scored heavily by invoking an old French law that provides for three judges instead of one and getting two friends of John's on the bench. The following jurors were selected: Rattlesnake Charlie Dlx, Short-and-Dirty O'Connor, Hassayampa Krmss, Cactus Jasper (from Gila Monster Center), Holy-Roller O'Rourke, Silver Tongue Sum Bayless, Plug Hut Shank, Hula Hula Kennedy, Painless floag. Doggy Xewton, Chuckwall A. Pugh and Gold Tooth Nellie formerly of the camp at Goldfields and now proprietress of Ye Olde Arts Shoppe. Abduction of Starlight. When court convened there wasn't an inch of standing room left. Mrs. Oatman had nine of her children on the benches, the tenth was at home listening to the radiophone. The beautiful Starlight, named as the woman In the case, was called to the stand and charged with break ing up the Oatman home. "I was abducted," she said. "When?" asked Lawyer Lucas. "Once In July," said Starlight, "end several times last February and March. "I object!" yelled Attorney Topps. He was overruled. "State concisely as possible the cir cumstances of your abduction," said Lawyer Lucas. "Why." said Starlight. "I swam the Colorado river to have a conference with Oatman, and he abducted me. The defendant was put on the stand. "How much property are you worth, John?" said Judge Zadock Sheffield. The defendant admitted that he had once owned mining claims, but had traded them off for a pair of overalls and a new straw hat, the claims sub sequently produced $11,000,000 in gold. Pressed as to his present assets, be asserted that he still owned the overalls, but that his soreback pinto cayuse had eaten the straw hat. The only gold he possessed, he testified, was what Painless Hoag had put Into his false teeth to make them look natural. John was sentenced to one month's work on the country highways, and after that to take a Job at pninting signs on the rocks along the road to read: "Where Will You Spend Your Eternity?" The divorce application was dis missed, but as Estelle left the court room she was presented with a bou quet of murlposa lilies by the Ladles' LIternry club of Outman. The Jury was asked by Judge women serving on the juries in Oregon. read, are supplied for the women who KILL GOPHERS His method of training his killers Is unique. An old tabby with five or six kittens last spring was kept hungry and thus forced to hunt far for her food. Soon she was taking the kittens into the fields and they learned to catch gophers. Kittens brought from town soon lenrned to follow their com panions abroad hunting. This spring the natural Increase of Hollister's cats has been phenomenal, but be Is con Wv ' H i&h'n : i . I II r ANTON LANG AS JESUS Anton Lang, representing Jesus wearing the crown of thorns In the Passion Play given by the peasants of Oberamraergau, Bavaria, for the first time in twelve years. Zadock Sheffield what they wanted to do about Starlight. Rattlesnake Charlie Dix got the floor in a split second. "If It please your worship," said he, "I aim to marry this gal." "I object," shouted Attorney Topps. He was overruled. Plug Hat Shank got under the wire first on the next heat. "There ain't none of us married on this Jury," he said. "What's to prevent her from choosing any one of us?" The question was put up to Star light from the bench. "Do you want to marry one of these Jurors," asked the court, "or be sent back to the reservation?" "Me?" said Starlight. "Me go in heap big movies." "Jury dismissed," said the court. "I object," shouted Attorney Topps, "Who's going to pay the costs of this case?" "Gentlemen of the jury," said the court, "all In favor of Attorney Topps paying the costs In this case will say Aye.' " There were 11 "Ayes." Gold Tooth Nellie voted "No." It was carried. HAD LIQUOR STILL IN JAIL Discovered After Prisoners Got Drunk and Engaged in Free-for-AII Fight. Wichita Falls, Tex. When Cass Tarver, a county Jnller, was called to quell a free-for-all fight among the prisoners in the jail the other night he discovered that the belligerents were drunk. For a time it was a mystery to him and other officers as to where the liquor that had produced the in toxication had been obtained. A thorough search of the cells and corridors revealed In an obscure cor ner a home-made still. It showed much skill and Ingenuity In its de sign and construction, but at the same time it was of such simple material as to make its total cost less than $1. The biggest thing about the still was two one-gallon cans which had contained disinfectants and had been carelessly left in the jail. Connecting the two cans was copper coll only eighteen Inches long. The prisoners conserved portions of potatoes served at their meals, bits of corn bread, canned corn and anything else from which alcohol could be pro duced, and this mixture made a mash which was placed in one of the cans. The alcoholic vapor was condensed and finally run through an old sock, partly filled with charcoal. The char coal was secretly made in the Jail by the prisoners from bits of wood which they managed to get hold of there. An old stove was used to heat the mash. Dog to Get Medal. Manchester, N. Y. Jack, a dog owned by Miss Ruth Clair Laberge of this city, is to be awarded a medal for his heroism in attempting to save the life of another dog, the Animal Rescue league announced. Jack swam to the rescue of the other dog as it was overcome by a heavy current in a brook, but fuiled to reach the animal before It went down. Jack Is part German police dog and part terrier. Individual beds, u liclit. airv room. have been doing Jury duty in Oregon soled by believing they are all des tined to be gopher killers. In several reports made by farmers a few cats taught to hunt in the go pher-lnfested areas soon rid the sec lion of the pests. Work on the vehicle tunnel under the Hudson river has been started at West and Canal streets In New York. The completed tunnel will be ready in about four years, and is to cost $19, 331.723. The tunnel will have twin tubes. COULD NOT HIT A LICK FOR MONTHS ,'etersburg Resident Says She Had About Lost Hope of Getting Bet terNow Well and Happy. "Tanlac has been such a blessing to me I can't help singing its praises," said Mrs. T. J. Archer, highly esteemed resident of 1147 Shepard St., Peters burg, Va. "I had indigestion so bad I couldn't eat a thing without being in misery for hours, and the pain around my heart caused by the gas seemed all I could stand. I constantly had headaches and awful spells of dizziness. Then to make matters worse rheumatism In my arms, shoulders and knees al most drove me to distraction, and for three months I couldn't do a stroke of work. I had Just about decided it was no use to take any more medicine when my husband brought me a bottle of Tanlac. Now I never have a touch of indigestion. Headaches and dizzy spells are a thing of the past, and rheumatism has left me entirely. I never have known a medicine to equal Tanlac." Tanlac is sold by all good drugglsta Heinrich's Share. Heinrlch Vot vos you doing, Hans? Hans I vos my vill muking. To mein vife everything I give to iuein sister the remainder I leave to mein brudder the residue shall have und all that vos after that left ofer to you, Heinrlch, is. Boston Transcript. SAVE SHOES AND STOCKINGS They will last twice as Ions It you Shake Into Your Shoes ALLEN'S FOOTEASE. tha powder for the feet. It takes the fric tion from the shoe and s-lves quick relief to Corns, Bunions. Callouses, sore, aching;, swol len, tender feet. Shake Allen's FootEaae Into your shoes and enjoy the bliss of feet without an ache. Advertisement. More Artistic. "Dearest," he said, sighing like a furnace, "it doesn't seem like the same old smile you used to give to me." "Oh, no. Jack," replied the sweet thing, "this is a new one. I have been studying at a school of dramatic art." Florida Times-Union. ImDOrtant to Mothers Examine carefully every bottle of CASTORIA, that famous old remedy for infants and children, and see that it Bears the Signature In Use for Over 30 Years, Children Cry for Fletcher's Castoria EXAMPLES OF REAL OPTIMISM Only Fair to State, However, That They Are Not Actual Happen ings of Record. "Fire? Fiddlesticks, young man. The booklet says this hotel is abso lutely fireproof. Go away and let me sleep." "What's this from the income tax bureau? Good! They probably are sending me a refund." "I don't seem to be able to get cen tral, Mary, but I'm sure those burglars wont be through in the cellar for some time yet." "It's a good thing Jack has gone over to Gloria. He'll appreciate me all the more after he tires of her." "Lots of time, George, dear. " Just try again and give her a little more gas. That train will stop rather than hit us." "I feel I'm going to lose my pjtl- coat before another block, but I'll probably look snappier without It." "Ten years in Sing Sing? Thank you, judge. I've always wanted to wear a light suit, but I never had the courage." "Triplets? Hot dog! That just com pletes the children's baseball nine!" Life. Envy will find f emits where there are none. Here's a real treasure from Nature's storehouse GOOD old Mother Nature has placed in wheat and barley the wonderful food properties which build and sustain life and health. Many so-called "refined" foods are robbed of vital elements which the body needs. Grape-Nuts that famous wheat and barley food brings you all the natural goodness of the grains in perfected form, with a crispness and flavor that charm the appetite. You will find Grape-Nuts an ideal dish for breakfast or supper-time. Ready to serve from the package, with cream or good milk. Order Grape-Nuts from your grocer today. Grape -Nuts the Body Builder Made by Postum Ceresl Company, Inc. Battle Creek, Mich. Important to all Women Readers of this Paper Thousands upon thousands of women have kidney or bladder trouble and never suspect it. Women's complaints often prove to be nothing else but kidney trouble, or the result of kidney or bladder disease. If the kidneys are not in a healthy con dition, they may cause the other organs to become diseased. You may suffer pain in the back, head ache and loss of ambition. Poor health makes you nervous, irrita ble and may be despondent; it makes any one so. But hundreds of women claim that Dr. Kilmer's Swamp-Root, by restoring health to the kidneys, proved to be just the remedy needed to overcome such conditions. Many send for a sample bottle to see what Swamp-Root, the great kidney, liver and bladder medicine, will do for them. By enclosing ten cents to Dr. Kilmer i. Co., Binghamton, N. Y., you may receive sam ple size bottle by Parcel Post. You can purchase medium and large size bottles at all drug stores. Advertisement. Unkind Remark. A scenario writer experienced great difficulty in getting his plots accepted. As a rule, they were so uninteresting that a complete hearing was seldom granted. At last he managed to per suade a weary producer to listen to the synopsis of his latest play. "Imagine," he began, "midnight, all silent as the grave. "Two burglars force open library windows, and eventually commence operations on the safe. The clock strikes one " "Which one?" yawned the producer. The Cuticura Toilet Trio. Having cleared your skin keep It clear by making Cuticura your every-day toilet preparations. The Soap to cleanse and purify, the Ointment to soothe and heal, the Talcum to powder and per fume. No toilet table Is complete without them. Advertisement HAD NAVAL OFFICER GUESSING Peculiar Combination of Names Seemed to Be Almost Too Much Out of the Ordinary. While Lieutenant Commander H. E. Parsons, navy recruiting officer at Houston, Tex., was sitting at his desk a few days ago a young man entered and said he wanted to enlist. "What is your name?" the officer asked. "Bryan Dry," was the reply. "You are a namesake of William Jennings Bryan, I take it," suggested the officer. "Yes, sir." ' "What is your home address?" was the next question. "Moonshine Hill." Parsons found on further inquiry that there is a Moonshine Hill In Tex as and that Bryan Dry was one of its young Inhabitants. Without more ques tioning, the applicant was signed up for a term of service in the navy. Kansas City Star. . . To Honor Canadian Heroes. Six thousand soldiers' graves, lo cated In 1,200 cemeteries, scattered throughout Canada, are to be marked with suitable headstones by the im perial war graves commission and will receive perpetual care. These are the graves of members of the Cana dian expeditionary force and the royal air force who died in Canada on the way to or from the front. Included among the number to be cared for are the graves of a few alien enemies who died while under Internment during the war, and which, under the terms of the peace treaty, must be looked after. Twenty years after, one looks at his diploma with a sort of pensive amusement but kindly, too. A man can die for another's life work, but if he lives he must live for his own. - ' - - - a 1 1 B S"T ' 1 - KHlKSift5XOT I aSH5SSP mm LOOM Products Baby Carriages & Furniture Ask Your Local Dealer Write Now for 32-Page Illustrated Booklet The Lloyd Manufacturing Company (HeyvooJ-WaktfitU Co.) Dept. E Menominee, Michigan (18) Cuticura Soap Complexions Are Healthy Soap 25c, Oistmeat 25 tai 50c, Titan 25c LOOK OLD? Urar. tain, atra.tr civ hair makes people look very old. It Isn't necessary a haul at O-Rmii R.i Color Restorer will brins? back original color iuvuy mwpm uanuruu. At au ffooa ariwgistaw 75c, or direct from Heamf-EBi, fiiaiiii, ksassa Teas. D I - C O L - Q FOR BURNS. CUTS ITCH SORES 75c at stores; 85c by mail. Address New York Drug Concern, New Yorlr, AGENTS EXTRAORDINARY OPPORTU NITY. New fruit product "Jells" any fruit Juice like magic. Joy-Jel Co.. St. Joseph, Mo. W. N. U., DENVER, NO. 24-1922. Not Battered Enough. Sculptor My dear young lady, I'm looking for a model who's aged and ugly. You are entirely too pretty foi the type I desire. Model What are you going to sculpture? Sculptor A statue of peace. Lt Journal Amusant. Bringing Him to the Point. Miss De Mulr Papa has forbidden you to come to the house. He sayi you are a dangerous man. "Dangerous. What can he mean?" "He says you are the kind of a man who will hang round a girl all her life and never marry her." v Then he proposed Edinburgb Scotman. Tin Can. An old lady was crossing the street the other day. A dog ran into her with such force that it knocked het down. Just then a light auto ran over her. A gentleman witnessing the ac cident enme to her assistance. He said: "Lady, did that dog hurt you?" She looked at him a little dazed and replied: "'So, the dog didn't hurt me, It was the tin can tied to its tail." Proved. Snobleinh "Aw what did vou find out about my family tree?" Genealo gist "That the crop was a failure." Both Sic-es Pleased. "The rain falls alike on the just and unjust." "They both point to that witl! pride." "There's a Reason" Lloyd .J, " V , . It They Cost Less T"5 because they girt longer tervice V v. - fl Every pair of Tl&jaA excellO MMim MBSERLESS Tjf E I ' ' " l SuspenderS wffn Jlfi is guaranteed for a fall mJxTw IJjTiUM year'i wear. Men like vJJl jrTfjjCrna their easy stretch and comfy WfjffXc- feel. Ask Your Bmtw. If he ) BTrx can't supply you, send direct, f VT!frS.Os firing dealer's name. IS (lijL Yff Nu-Way Stroch Suspender C. VfV ir 745f yMnc mm o ill I