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HIS MONEY'S WORTH.
mum i f c "Ha! ha! ha! And I wus just regret tin' that I'd spent a whole cent fer that banana!" RASH ALL OVER BABY'S BODY Itched So He Could Not Sleep "On July 27, 1909, wo left Boston for a trip to England and Ireland, taking baby with us. After being in Ireland a few days a nasty rash came out all over his body. We took him to a doc tor who gave us medicine for him. The trouble started in the form of a rash and was all over baby's body, head and face, at different times. It irritated, and he would scratch it with all his might. The consequence was it developed into sores, and we were afraid it would leave nasty scars on his face. "When we reached England we took baby to another, doctor, who said his condition was due to change of food and climate, and gave more medicine. The rash got no better, and it used to Itch and burn at night so bad that the child could not sleep. He was com pletely covered with it at different times. It was at this time that my mother advised us to try Cuticura Soap and Ointment. After using Cuti cura Soap and Cuticura Ointment for about nine months the places disap peared. There are not any scars, or other kind of disfigurement, and baby Is completely cured by the Cuticura Soap and Ointment. We have no fur ther trouble with baby's skin. Noth ing stopped the itching, and allowed baby to sleep but Cuticura Soap and Cuticura Ointment." (Signed) Mrs. Margaret Gunn, 29 Burrell St., Rox bury, Mass., March 12, 1911. Although Cuticura Soap and Oint ment are sold everywhere, a sample of each, with 32-page book, will be mailed free on application to Cuti cura," Dept. 14 K, Boston. Let me fail in .trying to do some thing rather than sit still and do noth ing. Cyrus Hamlin. DOCTORS FAILED TO itr n Him QCLrllCK Couldn't Fool Him. Serving In the capacity of .collector for a certain bank is a colored man who spends his evenings playing in a band. One of the clerks In the bank, know ing of the clerk's musical attainments said to him: "Joe, 1 went to a vaude ville show last night and one of the fellows there played 'Traumereo great!" Joe 'looked at him suspiciously for a moment and then said "You tell that stuff to Bonny. You don't get me to bite, 'cause Ah knows they ain't no such instrument" The Right Chord. "I hope you will believe me when 1 tell you that you are the only girl 1 ever loved." "No. That I refuse to believe." "Then you will -believe me when 1 tell you that you are the prettiest girl I ever loved 7" "Yes. Yes, I am sure you are in earnest now." Cured by Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compeund Pound, "Wis.- "I am crlad to an nounce that I have been cured of dys- rpepsia ana lemale troubles Dy your medicine. I had been troubled with both for fourteen years and consulted different doctors, but failed to get any relief. After using Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Com pound and Blood Purifier I can say I am a well woman. I can't find words to express my thanks for the good your medicine has done me. You maypublish this if you wish." Mrs. Herman- Sieth, Pound, Wis. The success of Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound, made from roots and herbs, is unparalleled. It may he used with perfect confidence by women who suffer from displacements, inflam mation, ulceration, fibroid tumors, ir regularities, periodic pains, backache, bearing-down feeling, flatulency, indi gestion, dizziness, or nervous prostra tion. Por thirty years Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound has been the standard remedy for female ills, and suffering women owe it to themselves to at least give this medicine a trial. Proof is abundant that it has cured thousands of others, and why should it not cure you? If you want special advice -write Hxs.Pinkliam, Lynn, Mass., for it. It is free and always helpful. A WatuonE.roIemnn.Wash. 5& ineton.D.C. iiookafree. Iliuh- U v5 est references. Best result. His Calling. "What are you doing now, .Wlggle- thorpe?" "Settlement work." "Settlement work? You don't look the part." "That's what I'm doing, just the same; I'm collecting bills for old Spot- cash." Consistent. "I don't believe you love me any more," sighed Mrs. Tripper. "1 don't," replied Mr. Tripper. "What?" "I loved you just as much as 1 pos sibly could, my dear, on our wedding day, and I have loved you just as much as I possibly could ever since." Without Guile. "Yes, sir,." said an Emporia citizen. "1 have perfect faith in the weather predictions of Irl R. Hicks." "In that case," remarked the po lite stranger, "let me sell you an or ange grove in Alaska." A HOT ONE. .Vt .j. . . Mrs. Cummington You only married me for my money. Mr. Cummington All my friends say I earned it. Seasonable Topics. Good-by, electric fan That cooled our pate. Soon with the baseball fan You'll hibernate. Then He Took Them Down. "You buy new shoes at least once a week, don't you, Mr. Snoogle?" said the typewriter girl. "What makes you think so, MIs3 Wynot?" asked the head of the firm. "Why, almost every time you put your feet on my desk I notice you have a new pair on." Why He Was Followed. "I received a great reception when I called at the Browns' last evening. Why, when I was leaving the whole family came to the door with me." "Well, you see, some one took three umbrellas out of their hall rack a few evenings ago." St. Louis Censor. Algy Wasn't Slow. Pa Munn I want Helen to marry a business man. She's going to get all my money. Algy That's grand! What business would you like to set me up in? Smart Monkey. "Do you think the monkeys are very smart?" "Well, I saw one today that ought to make a good bookkeeper." "What was he doirg?" "Running up a column." Boston Record. Hardest to Get. "Man wants but little here below," quoted the moralizer. "Yes," rejoined the demoralizer, "but it is the little he wants that is always the hardest to get." PUT HIS FOOT IN IT. A young surgeon, who was very re tiring and awkward, was asked to din ner by a lady who was at least fifty and tried to pass herself off as twen ty, and apparently imagined that be ing rude and tomboyish assisted to sustain the youthful illusion. At dinner she asked him to carve a fowl, and, never having carved a fowl before, and being painfully shy, he made a mess of it. Instead of trying to cover his confusion his hostess called attentidri"to it pointedly by look ing down the table and saying loudly "Well, Mr. P., yoi may be a very clever surgeon, but if I wanted a leg off I should not come to you to do It "No," he replied, politely: "but then you see. you are not a chicken." IT COOLED HIS COURAGE. Wifie Henry, I want you to go right out and discharge the cook; she's intoxicated. Hubby Certainly, my dear. Where Is she? Wifie She Is In the kitchen waiting for you. Hubby Waiting for me? Then I guess there's no hurry. Needless Alarm. "Am forwarding a barrel of spruce gum as a gift," wired a Bennington (Vt.) man to a friend in Boston. "Gee, whiz!" ejaculated the Boston man, "that's more spruce gum than my family could consume In several lifetimes." So he went to the druggist and ar ranged to have him take 100 pounds or so at a fair price. Congratulating him self on being so much In pocket, the Boston man awaited the arrival of the barrel. It came. It was three Inches high. It Soon Happens. A thing of beauty is a joy And we uplift A sons of praise without alloy Till fashions shift One Room to a Floor. "Why did you purchase that aban doned lighthouse?" "1 want to fit up a little hotel." "You can't acoemmodate many guests." "No; but I want to be able to say that I once kept a summer hotel in which every guest could have an out side room." Who Knows? Hobble skirt harem skirt Fol-de-rol-lo! What's fashion's coming spurtT No skirt at all? A Favorite Spot. Noah sighted Mount Ararat. "At last," he cried, "the mountain resort with an ocean view!" Herewith he felt the voyage was not In vain. Puck. An Easy One. 'Now, Johnny," queried the teacher of the new pupil, "what is the differ ence between one yard and two yards?" "A fence," promptly replied the youthful observer. Circumstances Alter Cases. "Yes, Miss Maybelle is here at the be-ach." 'I met her in town last winter; a haughty beauty." 'Not so excessively haughty. Men are scarce down here." Fight In the Garden. The Trumpet-Flower blew so loudly as to rouse the whole garden. "What's the matter?" everybody yelled. "The Daisy asked me to blow," an swered the Trumpet-Flower. "The Tiger Lillies are fighting the Dandy Lions and she is afraid her Sweet Wil liam will get hurt." He Does. "Vacations are good things." "Yes; a man certainly needs a rest after planning and packing, for one." A Paraphrase. "You take close notice of the places ; to which people are invited." "Yes," replied Mrs. Cumrox; "in our circle invitations are the sincerest flattery." Why is it that so many people suffer nrjth Lame Back? Hamlins Wizard Oil will cure it and for Aches, Sprain?, Bruises, Cuts, Burns, etc., there is noth ing better. of this pa per ds- f siring t o buy anyuimg auvci n'sed in ha columns should insist upon having what they ask for, refusing ail substitutes or imitations. A man never gets too old to remem ber some of the things that never oc curred when he was a boy. Red Cross Bag Blue makes the laundress happy ? makes clothes Vhiter than snow. All good grocers. A peck of trouble looks like a bush el to the man who is up against it. PARKER'S HAIR BALSAM Cleaaie and beautifies the htle. Promotes a luxuriant grot&. Never Falls to Restore Gnj Hair to Its Youthful Color. Cures scalp diseases & hair UBlng. IQc.and 31.00 at Drcggicts Thompson's Eye Wafer Giles quid reUffto eja Irritation 'xcxd kj dntt, mtriW, W. N. U., DENVER, NO. 41-1911. A Reader Cures His Constipation Try If Free Simple Way for Any Family to Retain the Good Health of All Its Members. The editors of "Health Hints" and "Questions and Answers" have one ques tion that is put to them more often than any other, and which, strangely enough, they find the most difficult to answer. That is "How can I cure my constipa tion?" Dr. Caldwell, an eminent specialist in diseases of the stomach, liver and bowels has looked the whole field over, has prac tised the specialty for forty years and Is convinced that the ingredients contained In' what is called Dr. Caldwell's Syrup Pepsin, has the best claim to attention from constipated people. Its success in the cure of stubborn con stipation has done much to displace the use of salts, waters, strong cathartics and sucli things. Syrup Pepsin, by train ing the stomach and bowel muscles to again do their work naturally, and with its tonic ingredients strengthening that nerves, brings about a lasting cure. Among its strongest supporters are Mr. John Graveiine of S8 Milwaukee Ave., Detroit, Mich., Mr. J. A. Vernon of Okla homa City and thousands of others. It can be obtained of any druggist at fifty cents and one dollar a bottle, or If you want to try it first a free sample bottle can be obtained by writing the doctor. For the free sample address Dr. W. B. Caldwell, 201 Caldwell building, Monti cello, 111. For Pink Eye, Eplzootfo Shipping Fevev & Catarrhal Fever Sure cure and Dosltl veDreTentlTo.no matter how horsesat anvstaee are Infected or"exposed." Liquid. fflyen on thetongiieractson tho Blood and Glands: exnelt!i anil isDolera. us : human bcJsffll Cnttblaoo. . "Distesaiiat. Special Agents wanted. SPOHN MEDICAL CO,, SSSSilA, GOSHEN. IND., U. S. L Irul HulBVUUUBJ?ermllroraineDoay. ijn res jjisicmper m uors and Bhcep XI oultrT. Larffcstsellinfrlivestock remedy. Cprw La Grippe amona 'jy ana is a line Kidney remedy. 60c and Si a bottle; ?5 and SIO a cloien, Keeplt. .sbowtoyourdruefl;lst.wbo'wllliretltforTou. Free Booklet J Causes and Cures." 2.50, $3.00, $3.50 & s4.00 SHOES Men and Women wear W.L.DougIas shoes because they are the best shoes produced in this country for the price. Insist upon hav ing them. Take no other make. THE STANDARD OF QUALITY FOR OVER 3Q YEARS The assurance that goes with an estab lished reputation is your assurance in buying W. L. Douglas shoes. If I could take you into my large factories at Brockton, Mass., and show you how carefujly W.L.Douglas shoes are made, you would then understand why they are war ranted to hold their shape, fit better and wear longer than any other make for the price CAIITIflN The genuine have W. I. Douglas wrtu I mil name and price stamped on bottom If you cannot obtain "W. L. Douclas shoes in your town, write for catalog. Shoes sent direct ONE PAIR of my BOYS' 92,S2MQar from factory to wearer, all charges prepaid. "W.I,. 83.00 SHOKS will positively outwear DOUGI-AS, 145 Spark St., Brockton, Mass. TWO PAIKSof ordinary boys' glioma DEFIANCE STARCH Gives a touch of freshness to summer dresses, waists, and the like not imparted in any other starch. Ask for "Defiance" Next Time The Best Hot or Water Starch, Full weight 16 -ounce package for 10 cents. If your grocer does not keep it have him get it for you. Manufactured by Defiance Starch Co. OMAHA, NEBRASKA