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The Way to Send It.
"Reverend Onde The Question brethren, how shall we send salvation to the Fiji Islands? Deacon Tiehtwadde Thoueh I not intimately familiar with the pies ent case, I would suggest tnat Bend it collect is we An Exciting Place. Munich Traveler to Native But don't you find it a bit dull here? "Dull, is it? Divil a bit, sorr; sure a raisonable man can find all the heighth of diversion just sittin' here watchm' the thrains go by." "And how many trains are there a day?" "Just the wan, sorr." He Had His Suspicion. One day a farmer member of the Ohio house displayed, inadvertently, a large roll of bills in the Neil house lobby. A fellow member gazed in awe at the show of wealth. "I just sold a drove of hogs," ex plained the farmer member rather hastily and confusedly. The observing one was thoughtful He did not reply for the half a minute usually essential to the full-measured beat of his mental process. And then "Ya-as," he drawled, "and I'll bet I'm one o' them hawgs." Fixing up the Settlement. "Well, we've divided up the money, the automobiles and the dogs equit ably," said the divorce lawyer. "Who gets the custody of the child?" asked the attorneys for the other side. "Is there a child? My client never said anything to me about that!" Washington Herald. A Turning Worm. "See that measuring worm crawling up my skirt!" cried Mrs. Bjenks. "That's a sign I'm going to have a new dress." "Well, let him make it for you," growled Mr. Bjenks. "And while he's about it, have him send a hookworm to do you up the back. I'm tired of the job." Liverpool Mercury. The Way of It. The street car was held up while the coal was deposited in a cellar. After fifteen minutes the irate old gentleman could stand it no longer. "Great guns!" he exploded to the mo- torman. "This is the worst I've seen .yet in this town! I suppose they couldn't make that wagon six inches shorter, now, could they?" "If they did, I reckon it wouldn't hold the eighteen hundred pounds of coal they're giving us for a ton these days!" A Dangerous Drink. Judge Ben B. Lindsey, the noted re former of Denver, was lunching one day it was very warm when a poli tician paused beside his table. "Judge," said the politician, "I see you're drinkin' hofcawfee. That's a heatin' drink." "Yes," said Judge Lindsey. "Oh, yes. In this weather you want Iced drinks, judge sharp, iced drinks. Did you ever try iced gin and ginger ale?" "No," said the judge, smiling, "but I've tried several fellows who have." The Danger of Beauty. Elizabeth Marbury was talking at the Colony club about beauty doctors. "The papers and magazines are full of their advertisements," she said. "They must make" a great deal of money." "But, Miss Marbury," said a young woman lawyer, "I have heard that beauty treatments are dangerous." "Well, you might call them danger ous in a way," Miss Marbury agreed. "I know, for example, a very rich widow of 62 years. She took a course of ten beauty treatments and last month married her boy chauffeur." The Natural Product. The schoolmistress was examining her pupils before some visitors. "Who knows what useful article -is furnished for us by the elephant?" she asked. 'Tvory," was the prompt reply of nearly all. "And what do we get from the whale?" "Whalebone," answered several. "Quite right. And what from the seal?" "Sealing wax," replied Peter. Ideas. HOMESEEKERS EXCURSION RATES TO TEXAS AND NEW MEXICO POINTS DUR ING 1911. On the first and third Tuesdays of each month during the entire year The Colorado and Southern Rail way will sell round trip homeseekers' excursion tickets to a great many points in New Mexico and Texas at greatly reduced rates. Final limit 25 days allowing liberal stop-over privileges. For detailed information, rates, etc., call on your nearest Colo rado and Southern agent or address T. E. Fisher, General Passenger Agent, Denver, Colo. HOWARD E. BURTON, ASSAYER & CHEMIST IJSADVIIXE, COLORADO. Specimen prices: Gold, silver, lead, $1; gold, silver, 75c: ijold. 60c: zinc or copper, $1 Mailing envelopes and full price list sent on application. Control and umpire work so licited. Reference: Carbonate National Bank (MM I I WW Dealer In all kinds of MJSR QUn It LUUN CHANDISE. Mammoth cata lot: mailed free. Cor. 16th & Blake. Denver. I .. . UJfflRi III, JffiU. J B IT 1 1 HIXlB llllllaiflI mM . .9 NEW AND VALUABLE INFORMATION WESTERN TRAPPERS WWTf TCDAf fOR fluft TRAPPERS CWDf AKD . w rw-i Uil OH HIDES AND FURS A.E.STPPHFMS i CO. rreiBLWE ET. DOWER. WieRASQ. tlr ' GOOD THINGS OF RICE MUFFINS, PANCAKES, WAFFLES AND BAKED PUDDING. Recipes for Marshmallow Filling, Ex position Cake and Vanilla Sauce, All of Which Are Very De lectable Eating. Rice Muffins. Two cups of cold boll ed rice, a pint of flour, one teaspoon salt, one tablesnoon suear. one and one-half teaspoons baking powder, one half pint milk and three eggs. Free rice from lumps and stir into milk and beaten eggs. Sift together flour, salt, sugar and powder. Add rice, milk and eggs and mix into a firm batter. Bake .in hot oven for 15 minutes. Rice Pancakes Mix two cups rice with one quart of milk, the yolks of two eggs, two cups of flour, two tea spoons baking powder and a pinch of salt Beat the whites of eges to a froth and add last Fry on a grid dle. Rice Waffles Sift together one cup flour and one teaspoon baking pow der; take one cup rice, one 'teaspoon melted butter, one teaspoon salt, two cups milk, three beaten eggs. Mash the rice, add the butter, then the milk with the flour, and then the eggs. Beat well, grease waffle irons with butter and brown both sides of waffles nicely. Rice Pudding With Vanilla Sauce Two cups of rice, one and one-half pints of milk, one-half cup sugar, a large pinch of salt, and vanilla to fla vor. Bake in a moderate oven until the pudding Is set and the top nice ly browned. Serve with vanilla sauce, Marshmallow Filling Boil one cup water and one and one-half cups sugar together until it threads; cut one-half pound marshmallows into little pieces and add this to syrup just before tak ing from the stove. Pour this mixture Into the beaten whites of two eggs and beat until cold. exposition Cake One cup sugar, one-half cup melted butter, one-half cup milk, one and one-half cups flour, two well beaten eggs, one teaspoon baking powder; mix Into batter. Take six large tablespoons chocolate, three teaspoons sugar, two teaspoons of milk; let this come to a boil, then cool and add to cake batter and bake in two layers. For filling use marshmallow Icing and chopped nuts. Vanilla Sauce Scald one-half pint Df milk, add beaten yolks of three eggs, stir until as thick as boiled cus tard; vhen cool add one tablespoon vanilla extract and stiffly beaten vhites o eggs. Brownie Salad. Boil eggs hard, when cold remove shells and cut off small ends about one-third down. With a small spoon scoop out . the yolks, wash, add chopped olives, salad oil, salt and pep per. Then refill the cavities with the same. Replace the ends which have been cut off, moistening with un cooked white of egg to cause to ad here. Set aside a short time to dry, then with a toothpick which has been dipped in grape juice, melted choco late or some other material, draw eyes, mouth and necktie, and buttons down lower part to Indicate waist coat. (A small water-color brush is better, of course, if you chance to have one.) Use toothpicks for arms and legs, or, if you prefer, the tooth picks can be concealed by small car rots or green bean pods. Drape a leaf of lettuce around the shoulders for a cape. The end of a cucumber hol lowed out will serve for a cap. Tender Ham. Have ham cut from one and one- half to two inches thick, according to amount required. Parboil once and then simmer or cook in the fireless until tender. Then bring to a fry. This is not dry or tough as fried ham usually is and has even a better flavor. Orange Custard Tarts. Three ounces of butter, three ounces of sugar, yolks of three eggs; one-half cup of cream, puff paste. Cream the butter and sugar together until soft; then work In, one at a time, the three yolks of eggs. Beat well, grate the orange rind and add it with the strained juice of half an orange to the other Ingredients. Beat in the cream and mix all well to gether. Line some patty pans with the puff paste, fill in with the mix ture, and bake in a moderate oven for twenty minutes. Sugarless Preserves. Now that the price of sugar has gone up and canning season is here, I would like to give a few hints in how can fruit without sugar. Pare vour peaches or pears and stew in clear water until tender. Can just the same when sweetened. Add sugar at time of reopening according to taste. Fired Up. Jack spoke of Miss Ella the other evening with quite burning elo quence. 'Naturally. She's a flame of his." PUTNAM FADELESS DYES Color more goods brighter and faster colors than any other dye. One 10c package colors all fibers. They dye in cold water better than any other dye. Yon can dye any garment without ripping apart. Write for free booklet How to Dye, Bleach and Mix Colors. MONROE DRUG COMPANY, Qulncy, III. JUST BEFORE THE TROUBLE How Could the Listener Know What His Friend Was Trying to Say? If any man ever admired bis wife, that man was Howler. And when the Fitzboodles asked Mrs. Howler to get up and sing, "There is a Garden in My Face," the husband glowed with pride. No matter that she had a face like a hippopotamus and a voice likean elephant, he sat beaming as she sang, and could not refrain from bending over to his neighbor and whispering: "Don't you think my wife's got a fine voice?" "What?" said his neighbor, who was a little deaf. "Don't you think my wife's got a fine voice?" repeated Howler. "What?" "Don't you think my wife's got a fine voice?" roared Howler. "Sorry!" returned the neighbor, shaking his head. "Can't hear a word you say. That awful woman over there is making such a frightful row singing." How Fido Lost Out. "My girl used to think a lot of her pug dog, but I've managed to get the edge on him since we married." "How did you work it?" "Fido wouldn't eat her cooking, and I did." Every time you meet a grouch hand it a lemon. DANGEROUS VARIETY. Caroline She may be a gossip, but I believe she tells the truth. Pauline My dear, the truth is fre quently the worst form of gossip imaginable. Wav d Blessings. Aunty (just .rrived) Bless your sweet heart! Marie You needn't waste any of your blessings on him, aunty. Aunty Him? Who? Marie My former sweetheart. We're mad at each other now. Judge. Some men have a well-seated preju dice against giving up their place to a woman In a crowded car. Tree Destroyers. Porcupines are good climbers, and when unable to get enough apples wind-blown to the ground, swarm a tree and cut down the finest bearing limbs as quickly aud neatly as a -beaver can sever the trunk of a young hemlock. Besides that, when other food is scarce they nibble the bark oft young apple trees, and can destroy a newly planted orchard in a short time. They also are a great enemy to the young spruce, but why they cut them is a mystery, as it is not found that they even eat the tenderesf shoots. Proved. "There's no question about it," said Scribblelgh. "England is the placa for an author to live in who wishes to write perfect English. We become merely the expression of our envir onment, after all, and I wish to do my work in an atmospnre in wEfch the language I use for the expression of my ideas is spoken in all its prestin purity. Do you not agree with, me, Lord Miggleton?" "By' Jowve, you're bally rlgkt, old top!" replied his lordship. Harper's Weekly. Apicultural. Mother Yes, Johnny, the queen be is boss. Johnny How about the presidential bee? Few Hens In England. England has one hen to the acr of territory. We Get The big coffee trust, made up of Brazilian growers and American importers, has been trying various tactics to boost the price of coffee and get more money from the people. Always the man who is trying to (dig extra money out of the public pocket, on a combination, hates the man who blocks the game. Now comes a plaintive bleat from the "exas perated" ones. The Journal of Commerce lately said : "A stir ring circular has just been issued to the coffee trade." The article further, says: "The coffee world is discussing what is to be the future of coffee as a result of the campaign of miseducation carried on by the cereal coffee people. "We have before us a letter from one of the largest roasters in the South asking what can be done to counteract the work of the enemies of coffee. "The matter should have been taken up by the Brazilian Gov't when they were completing . their beautiful valorization scheme." a Slap Then the article proceeds to de nounce Postum and works Into a fine frenzy, because we have pub lished facts regarding the effect of coffee on some people. The harrowing tale goes on. "Where a few years ago every body drank coffee, several cups a day, now we find in every walk in life people who imagine they can not drink it (The underscoring is ours.) Burly blacksmiths, carpen ters, laborers and athletes have dis continued or cut down the use of coffee; as there is not a person who reads this and will not be able to find the same conditions existing among his own circle of acquaint ances, is it not well for the Brazil ians to sit up and take notice?" Isn't it CUrioUS these "bur ly" strong men should pick out cof fee to "imagine" about? Why not "imagine" that regular doses of whiskey are harmful, or daily slugs of morphine? If "imagination" makes the caf feine in coffee clog the liver, de press the heart, and steadily tear down the nervous system, bringing on one or more of the dozens of types of diseases which follow broken-down nervous systems, many people don't know it. But it remained for the man who has coffee, morphine or whiskey to sell, to have the supreme nerve to say: "You only imagine your disorders. Keep on buying from me." Let us continue to quote from his article. "Notwithstanding the enormous Increase in population during the past three years, coffee shows an appalling decrease in consumption Then follows a tiresome lot of; statistics which wind up by show ing a decrease of consumption in two years of, In round figures,, two hundred million pounds. Here we see the cause for the at tacks on us and the Brazilian sneers at Americans who prefer to use a healthful, home-made break fast drink and incidentally keep the money in America, rather than send the millions to Brazil and pay for an article that chemists class among the drugs and not among the foods. Will the reader please remem ber, we never announce that coffee 'hurts -all people." Some persons seem to have ex cess vitality enough to use coffee, tobacco and whiskey for years and apparently be none the worse, but the number is small, and when a sensible man or woman finds an ar ticle acts harmfully they exercise some degree of intelligence by dropping it We quote again from the article: "These figures are paralyzing but correct, being taken from Leech's statistics, recognized as the most reliable." This is one of the highest com pliments ever paid to the level-head-ed.common sense of Americana who cut off about two hundred mil lion pounds of coffee when they found by actual experiment (In the majority of cases) that the subtle drug caffeine, in coffee, worked dis comfort and varying forms of dis ease. Some people haven't the charac ter to stop a habit when they know it is killing them, but it is easy to shift from coffee to Postum, f6r, when made according to directions, it comes to table a cup of beverage; seal brown color, which turns to rich golden brown when cream is added, and the taste Is veiy liko the milder grades of Old Gov't Java. Postum Is a veritable food-drink and highly nourishing, containing all the parts of wheat carefully pre pared to which is added about ten per cent of New Orleans molasses, and that is absolutely all that Postum is made of. Thousands of visitors to the pur food factories see the ingredients and how prepared. Every nook and corner is open for every visit or to carefully Inspect Crowds come daily and seem to enjoy it "There's a Reason" Postum Cereal Company, Limited Battle Creek, Michigan