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Arizona sentinel Yuma southwest. [volume] (Yuma, Ariz.) 1915-1916, July 08, 1915, Image 7

Image and text provided by Arizona State Library, Archives and Public Records; Phoenix, AZ

Persistent link: https://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn95060877/1915-07-08/ed-1/seq-7/

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wrongs have existed or do exist they
will be promptly righted, and righted
in a manner that will make the unit
holders and water users glad that they
cast their lot with the Yuma project,
than which there is no richer land nor
better crop-growing climate on the
face of God's footstool. A couple of
million dollars lifted from their shoul
ders will make them so happy that
they will, each and all, want to rush
to the Reclamation corral and hug
and kiss every one of those noble "78
horses and mules" and do homage to
the unlisted jackasses in a similar
affectionate manner.
A dollar for a brick.
Irving Cobb, the famous
var-correspondenr, story
vvriter and lecturer, was ap
proached by a stranger who
ssked him what sort of a fel
low Cobb was. Cobb replied :
"Cobb is related to my wife
by marriage, and if you don't
object to a brief sketch, with
all the technicalities eliminat
ed, I should say that in ap
pearance he is rather bulky,
standing six feet high, not
especially beautiful, a light
roan in color with a black
mane. His figure is undecid
ed, but might be called very
bunchy in places. He be
longs to several clubs, includ
ing the Yonkers Pressing
Club and the Park Hill Dem
ocratic Marching Club, and
has always, like his father,
who was a Confederate sol
dier, voted the Democratic
ticket. He has had one wife
and one child and still has
them. In religion he is an In
nocent Bystander."
Few men have entered up
on the duties of Secretary of
State with so many political
obligations as did Mr. Bryan
and no secretary of state has
-ever repaid his obligations by
the appointment to desirable
office of so many of his pro
teges. ' The assistant secretary of
state, John E. Osborne, is not
only a protege of Mr. Bryan's
but was appointed to that of
fice primarily to look after
Mr. Bryan's political inter
ests. Bryan's son is a U. S. dis
trict attorney and his son-in-law
holds a well-compensated
office under the government.
His former secretary, Robert
F. Rose, is a foreign trade ad
viser, and the other trade ad
viser is William B. Fleming.
!who endeared himself to Mr.
Bryan by being the only man
ever elected to the bench in
Louisville on the "16 to 1"
iticket. Ex-Governor John
iLind is a close "friend of Mr.
j'Bryan and there are a host of
others throughout the gov
ernment service and the di
jplomatic corps,
i Should the new secretary
'of state be actuated by a de
termination to rill these vari
ous offices with his own good
friends, there would be such a
sweeping out of Bryanites
that the state department
would hardly know itself.
o o
O o
Not with cannon huge and fearsome
Not with rifles in the trench
Will we battle in the future,
But with gasses full of stench.
Not with shrapnel nor with Maxims
Will we butcher, slay or beat,
But with tender hearts we'll spray 'em
Thick with ether till they sleep.
There will be no cries of anguish
And no rivers running red,
When the chloroform snipers
Get their fellows, in the heaci.
forward then, the charging squadrons,
Not amid the battle's roar,
B,ut with squirt-guns full of chlorine,
Rake the foeman aft and fore!
Charge for king and'so forth, so forth,
Firing mustard up the slope
Charge with needles hyperdermic
Shoot your neighbor full of dope!
Fumes of burning shoes and rubber
Pepper, garlic and of hay,
Quickly clears the mines and trenches,
Help to win the glorious day.
Thousands strew the scene of battle,
Anaesthesia's victims they,
Snoring loudly as they slumber
Resting meanwhile from the fray.
Cannon-makers out of business,
Chemicals producing now
Knockout dorps instead of bullets
Danger lurks not in a row.
Thus the nations all can pleasure
In a war that's safe and sane,
Save for some .poor, sleepy victim,
Who, in falling, get a sprain.
"Do you keep any servants,"
"No, of course not."
"But I thought I say one in your
"Oh, we have servants on the prem
ises, a day or two at a time; but we
don't keep them."
Following the advice of the United
States health service to "wheel the
baby around" not only for the sake of
the baby but for the benefit conferred
upon the man that does the wheeling,
has been taken literally by several
Yuma men. Since this proclamation
there has been a noticeable increase
of men pushers.
Always ON TIME Witk Service and RIGHT SCHEDULE
Of Prices At The
Rexall Store
Largest Drug Stock In Yuma j
Step lively, move swiftly, feel "bully,"
go far, no fatigue
Some people save a few cents on J:he price of
their shoes and spend a dollar on their corns, their
chafes or their aches.
It's all in the shoe in the buyingin the dealer
who sells them.
The Toggery
A. L. VERDUGO, Manager
Yuma, Arizona
We Invite Your Account
Resources Over $600,000.00
Advertise in Sentinel-Yuma Southwest

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