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THE VOLUME XIX. WINCHESTER, TENNESSEE, THURSDAY, JUNE 3, 1880. NUMBER 12. HOM JOURNAL. TOPICS OF THE DAY. THEownerof the finest peach orchard in Milan County, Texa, pronounces the peach crop a failure iu that section. An effort to reduce the President's Hil ary from $00,000 4o $25,000 per annum was defeated In the Douse by a vote of 25 to 73. A bad comment on newspaper men is the statement that there are more edi tors in the Eussian prisons than there are out. A rRorosiTioji looking to the reduc tion of salaries of Congressmen has been frowned down " by a large majority " in that body. Tue German Government has decide.t to increase the circulation of silver twenty per cent. CAiTJiisEAiisisHt.il trying to per suade Congress what a glorious thing a shio canal would be. Jftw Jhusey bus Lot Buffered for yean so great damages from forest fires as during the present sea-on. Col. John B. Dhows low denies very vigorously Gen. Steedman's story that Parson Iirownlow bore a " serpentine" mark on his body. Miib. Delva Lockwooh has bten re fused admission to practice by the Gen eral Term of the New York Supreme Court at I'oughkeepsie. General Charles Ai.AMri, ,'ate Special Agent of the Utes, fears trouble with them again unless Congress speed ily ratifies the now treaty. Captain Eads is still agitating his scheme for a ship railway across the Isthmus of Darien and a few more mil lions of Government mouey. One Samuel S. tnanton sues Secretary tfcburz at St. Lorn for f 20,000 dam ages for imprisoning him in Fort Uus sell, near Cheyenne, without c.use. The famous Tuilcries of Paris, which have been in ruins since the reign of the Commune, are to be restored, a dispatch states, and converted iuto museum. Correspondence is published iu New York showing that last March Gen. Kilpatiick was tendered and de clined the Governorship of Washington Territory. Some of the Pittaburp glass men talk of shutting down their works during the months of July and A ugust, to re lieve the operatives from labor during the heated term. The steamship City of London, just arrived at New York, reports having seen on tha voyage an iceberg three hundred feet in height and seven hun dred feet in length. Baknum won a gbrious victory in Springfield. A clergyman, who had been a missionary in South Africa, tested the Zulus by addressing them in their native tongue, and found them genuine. Chicago Inttr-Occun: Clarence Da vis got five years in the penitentiary and $1,000 fine for having three wives. Can non, M. C, has four wives, gets two years in Congress and i5,000 a year. IJavo we a privileged class in this coun try? The Empress of Russia keeps alive by breathing oxygen gas mixed with arid and turpentine, which is adminis tered to her four times a day. The physicians say that her death cannot be much longer postponed by this artificial process. And now the Russians are complain ing of American competition in the grain markets of that country. Our merchants are shipping corn to Odessa. Freights are so high that the Russian marchants find it cheaper to bring grain from America. James Rhipath says that by the present system iu Ireland 7,000 land lords get out of the land $90,000,00J a year, and the Government extracts $35,000,000 more. This leaves only 150,000,000 to feed and clothe 5,000,000 inhabitants. Thirty families from Finland ar rived at New York recently en route for Minnesota, where they will engage in farming. That State seems to be pre erred abjva all others by the Scandi navians. Doubtless the climate has fsomethine to do with their location. And now California is exporting wine to Germany, the first shipment of 100,000 gallons being forwarded a week or two since. The Germans are largely rnanvpA in pranc-prowim? in the Golden o o C I p n Btate, and claim for their wine all of tne qualities possessed by thai msae in Germany. Kallocu. the Mayor of San Fran' cisco, is having a decidedly serious time of it. In addition to the numerous charges brought against him, imputing bis honesty, patriotism, etc., a youcg woman now comes to the front whose case promises to break the monotony of the prosecution. Much interest is expss-ed in the Milieu' international Expusiiiun to be held at Cincinnati in June. It prom ises to be an occasion of prcat import ance. .Every machine recorded in ihe history of milling, it is c'aimed, will be exhibited, making the largest, display in this department of industrial arc the world has erar known. Joseph Emmeth spree in Pittsbu-.t cost him f 5,0' 0. Nearly nil of tin eats were sold for a week of his per foimaiue at the Operahouse.and the homo had to be closed, the money being refunded. Persuasive ellbrts did not avail, and ho was sent to a hospital, where Le was out into condition 'o act during the ensuing week. This philosopher of the Cincinnati Gazette says: Our entsemed contem porary, the Commerciut, declares that it is not in favor of free trade in general, but is for free tride only in ai article which it uses. But if every one were in favor of free trade in the article which he consume', and for duties on those only which other people use, the result would be free trade. Cincinnati Gazette: Kentucky has a right to boast of the champion Legis lature. It has just adjourned after pars ing 1,606 acts, pn average of a little more than twelve for caeb day cf the session. Ever so many Legislatures have undertaken to make a score like this, but so far as known none have succeeded. The Keutucky body ought to have the belt for the many-act cham pionship. Henry Clay, a grandson of the Mill Bov of the Slashes," will accom pany the Howgate Arctic Expedition as an aid to Lieut. Howgate. Mr. Clay, who is known in Kentucky as '-Young Harry Clay," is twenty-nine years i.f aire, lie was porn in tjisuon, ronugai, when his father was minister to that country. He is now prosecuting attor ney sn Louisville, being a man of gen erous nature and varied accomplish ments. There are benefits in being a mem- ter of Parliament in England other than appear on the face of that honor. A member of Parliament cannot be ar rested or imprisoned on any civil action. Labouchere, the editor of I ruth, is de fendant in a couple of libel suits, and the object in each of theie cases is to imprison the lively Labby. Now the plaintiffs must content themselves with a fine if they get a verdict, as Labou- here is a member of Parliament. Louisville bas just completed its hundredth year, an is as lively as a girl of seventeen. The placi was incorpor ated in 1780, by the Legislature of Vir- ginm, which named it Irom our "great and good friend," Louis XVI., King of France and Navarre, lhe settlement beiran in 1778. under the celebrated General George Rogers Clarke, one cf the best of the many leading Virgin ians of those long-vanished days. It is a city of imrvelous growth and alike prcsierouiand beautiful. Thr classes in Yale Colleere are di vided into four divisions, accordine to scholarship, and the statistics in regard to the use of tobaccs in tne junior class were recently taken. Of twenty s x in the lowest division, all but four smoked : of twenty-ieven in the second, eighteen smoked; of forty in the first, only ten smoked. Whether this results from the fact that those who smoke do not "like to study, or that thoe who study do not like to smoke, is not entirely clear; but the effect of smoking on German seho'ar ship is not usually regarded as so marked as this. Tom Buford's second trial for the assassination of Judge Elliott of the Supreme Court of Kentucky is set for the 5th day of July next. "Miad, who, during the past few years, bas spent the greater portion of his time in the mountains of Kentucky ana con tributed extensively to metropolitan journals of the State s crimes and crimi nals, has made Judge hlliott the central character in his forthcoming novel, en titled "The Gentleir.au of Adair; or, the Science of Delay." Kentucky cele brities comprise its dramotit pertonve, and it is understood that tbe undercurrent of the story will satirise the practical working of our judicial system. London Life, a so-called society journal, has taken up Victoria Wood hull and announces that she is about to marry a prominent Englishman and become one of tbe " queen's of society." The Woodhnll manages to get herself written up very liberally in Jbngiisti papers, beginning with her egregious sell on the eminently respectable tc aminer, which gravely announced her probable choice by the American people as their next rresioenr. Are litrimm oaoer. the Christian Union, fol lowed with a high eulogy of her virtues as a pietist. How the woman secures such notices is a mystery but she is direful It havt, numerous marked copies sent to tbe newspapers of this country. Air old womaft who went into the poultry business, thinking she could make a fortune by selling eggs, gave it up in disgust, because, as she said, " the Umnm Ml tiar law whiis wn Iri dear. uvun - - oa ' but alius begins at sooa as they ai Cheap. SOUTHERN NEWS. Frogs are shipped North from Bed ford, Tenn. The new court-house at Corsicana, Tex., will cost $10,000. The culture of peanuts is becoming more general in Virginia. The proceeds of the Frog opera in New Orleans amounted to $1,200. Texas 6 per cent, bonds are quoted at 102 and aro scarce in the market. Only one ho'el in Jacksonville, Fla.. will remain open during the summer. Unmuzzled dogs on the streets of Memphis are shot down without mercy. Nearly 2,000 workmen are emyloyea upon new buildings going up in At lanta. The summer uniform of the police of Richmond, Va., includes wnitc gloves. It is estimated that the present rice crop in Louisiana will be double that oi Jast year. A COTTON compress, costing $40,000, will be erected at Brenham, Texas, this summer. Fisic University, at Nashville, has been presented with a bell weighing 2,000 pounds. Dt'RiNd this year -100,000 bushels of corn have been shipped to Europe from Richmond, Va. Virginia is set down for $.'(26,000 in the Congressional River and Harbor p prepriation Bill. A good quality of white porcelain clay has been discovered in Forsyth County, N. C. A nit INI) agricultural and mechani cal fair is to be held at Sun Antonio, TJx's, next fall. Mas. SALl.lF.Gray.of Meridian, Mass., is 117 years o'.d and still engages iu letter-writing. In Henry County, Ga., a whole Irovc of hogs, while lying in a heap, we.e killed by lightning. Long staple seed cotton is so scarce in East Florida, but one-third the usual crop will be planted. New Orleans has shipped Francs and Italy within a year 2,400,1)00 gal lons of cott in seed oil. An evening paper has been established st Lynchburg, Va., making three dailies now published there. The Hon. John N. Hudson, State Senator from Americus, Ga., Las been sent to lunytic asylum. Theiif is .. lady postmaster at Elon, Amherst County, Vitginia. Her last pn decessor was also a lady. The Legislative Council of Mem ph. s .as passed an ordinance abolishing all hanging signs from over the side walk. A colored barber at Macon, '3a., wn stabbed to death with an umbrella while engaged in a quarrel with another man. A Confederate Memorial Assoii- atioc is to be organized at Memphis to care for the heroic dead iu 51m wood Cemetery. The average yield of the oals crop in the vicinity of Austin, Texas, this yesr is from eighty to one hundred bushels pel acre. J. F. West, who killed a negro some time ago it Barnesville, Ga., has been refused bail and is now in jail at Griffin. A farmer in Montgomery County, Tenn., drove the bugs from his tobacco plant beds by treating them to a dose of rotten eges The watei in Wolf River, so long de tested by Memphiuns, has been officially pronounced the " third best water in the United States." The planters of Alabama and North ern Mississippi are more engrossed than ever in the cotton crop, and are neglect ing everything else for it. The President of the Mississippi Slate Agricultural College, at Staik v'ille, receives an annual salary of $2,500, and the professors $2,000 each. Over $100,000 has been raised in the North for the construction of the new Sibley mills in Augusta, Ga., and the remaining $200,000 is promised. The cotton mills at Carrollton, Miss., have been bought by one King, a Georgia manufacturer, who will add 200 operative to the working force. The credit of the State of Mississippi is at par. Her warrants are equal to currency and are paid on demand. Her bonds command a premium in the mar ket. There is not a single liquor saloon in any town on the line of East Tennes see and Georgia railroad, between Chat- and Knoxville, a distance of il2 miles. Local option has proven a success in Jasper County, Texas. Not a case of drunkenness has been seen on the streets of the town of Jasper during .he present year. The people of Charleston, S. C, have subscribed about 500 for the relief of the families o' the two negroes whodied from foul air in cleaning out one of the fire wells in that city. The sculptor Clark Mills claims to be something of a horseman, snd to be pre pared to defend his bronze horse against a', adverse criticisms by judges of A brick the site of an ordinary cigar b-ix, made of the counterfeit nickeU ; I- lected in the street-car cash-boxes, is ne of the curiosities which odorns the iew street car office in Memphis. The Sunday liquor law is being rigidly enforced in Columbia, S. C. One uan was fined $10 for delivering . n Sunday morning a bottle of liquo, that he had sold the evening before. New Orleans has a cork msnutac tory employing fifteen men and turning out 2,500 dozen corks pe' day, which Joes not even supply the local demand. The establishment is Boon to be en higed. Two Souih Carolinians, who have ben at law four years for the poss-sdon of a bull, ere still at it. The costs exceed $1,000, exclusive of counsel fees, and the bull Is dead. It has been stuffed, and is to be produced in court. Mrs. Rogers and one of her daugh ters, of Buncombe, N. C, made by their own labor, during last season, from two and a half acres of land, $084 worth d tobacco. This amount was realized after paying a rent of one-third of the crop. The man at Luray, Va., who hhs kissed nobody during his entire man hood has conscientious scruples in he matter. He became convinced in In youth that kissing was wicked because Christ was betrayed by a kiss. At a business meeting held last Sun day in the First African Baptist Church of Richmond, Va., attended by 2,500 people, the confusion being so great that the Mayor sent a large detachment of police into the building to preserve order. Clark Mills, the sculptor, is seventy years old. Until his fortieth year he was a plasterer, and never had any idea of becoming a sculptor. At the time he undertook his first equestrian statue of Jackson, he had never seen the General nor an equestrian statue. It is stated that a Mr. Willis, now living in Bradford County, Ua., is 106 years old. He is able to walk to town, some six miles, and al.-o able to Bupporl himself by his own Iahor. He has 135 descendants in Georgia and thirty-two in Florida. In Middle Tennessee a drunkard tied to the woods while wild with d'liiium tiemens, dug a grave and was 'ound n it dead. His wife was rcii'teed frantii by the sight, and prayed tliat she ni'ght die, too, when she was struck by light ning and killed. Richmond has a University Club, composed of graduates of that institu tion, who are trying to aid in the racing of funds to make available the line tele scope, said tc be the best in America. presented to their Ann Mater by Mr. McCorniick, of Cliic.igo. The last grand jury of Telfair County, Ga., recommended that their next Ifep roentative and Senator use their influ ence securing the passage ftf a bili by the Legislature fixing (he liquor license in that county at $5,1100 a ytar. The Young Men's Library Associa tion of Atlanta, Ga., received from all sources during the year ended, $0,3 12. 77. The increase in the number ol volumes during the year was 1,035. M'ss Emma jVbbott is a paid-up Ufa member ol the association. Fannie Hunter and Micha Thomp son, co'ored, who were convicted ol burglary and sentenced to the peniteuj tlary for life at Anderson, S, O, in the fall of 1878, have been parcl. ne 1 by 'he Governor upon the recommendation of the Judge and a numerously-signed pe tition. Miss Sarah Martin, a Cherokee gill, wrote a letter to tht Evangt-'ist, E. L.Moody The leitei wvs sh-iwn to a wealthy friend of Mr. Muody, who was so well pleased wi'h it Mist he pla-d $1,000 at the disposal of Mr. Moody for the continuation of Miss Martin's edu cation. The Jolly murder is sti'l the absorb ing topic of interest at Decatur, 'la. The general opinion in that section is that Weaver was also con erned in the murder of Victoria Norris, nd it is probable that he will be indicted by the next grand jury. The St. Lawrence Presbytery, in connection with the Southern Presby terian Church of Texas, has passed tesolutions condemning the use of tobacco by ministers, and directing thy Committee on Education not to recom mend any candidate for help in his education who uses it. At Newbern, N. C, J. L. Rheen planted a crop of peas on the 1st of Feb ruary and finished gathering theproduct on the 20th of April. He then cut tbe vines from forty-five acres, and lured them for forage, and on the evening oi April 80 had the ground planted in cotton. The principal plank in the platform of the Rev. Jefferson Washington, col ored, independent candidate for Con gress in the Fifth Georgia District, is thus stated by biin : " I am opposed to having our children gobbled up by these medicated students, and I'm bound to stop it" AT Argents, Ark., an immense cotton seed oil mill is to be erected immedi ately by Memphis and Little Rock capi talists. They will also erect a powerful cotton compress, the press costing $30, 000, and having a pressure of twenty- five hundred tons to the inch capable of i educing a bale of cotton to six and a bait inches. A gentleman passing a colored school at Toccoa, Ga., saw a number of little chaps playing in the bushes as if they were bunting for Nine one, using sticks for guns, when he casually askd thorn what they were doing, and re ceived the reply : " We is playin' rev'- nue men hunting for licker." The evangclis's Moody and S.inkey passed through Indian Territory last eek, and while at Muscogee in the Cicek nation, Mr. Moody arranged to receive ten Indian girls from that np-ti-m, for whom he will provide frfe (location a the Young Ladies' Somi i.ary established by him at Northfield, Mass. Till! colored Republicans of MiB'is sippi demand that Blanche K. Bruce, now a United States PcnV.or from that State, shall have the second pi ice on the Grunt ticket. Bruce is a colored man of limited education, a native of V r ginia, and a Mississippi plinter sinco the war His term of service as Senat r will expire next March. A newspaper in Georgia says that if the fanners of that State would devote less of their energies to the raising of cotton and give more attention to the cultivation of sugar-cane, rice, arrow root, the tea plant, wine-growing, and the production of early fruits, vegeta bles and melons for the Northern mar ket, they would be much more inde pendent and happy. A force of men stationed by lhe United States Bureau of Internal' Rev enue in Fanni, Union, Towns and Rabun Counties, Ga., to break up the illicit distilleries in those c unties and to bring the offenders to trial, is being paid $5,0110 a month. These men look uio i their occupation as a " fat job," aud will hardly apply for a discharge until the appropriation runs out. At the office of the Commissioner of Imiriur.ition for Florida, were rcc ived on SitiinUiy two letters which wer. somewhat unique as to the requests c in tained in them. One was from a Greek firm iu London, which wanted a cargo of orange-wood sticks, and the other from a gentleman in Kentucky who wished a water monkey forwarded to him. The season for elopements has begun in Virginia. In that Siate such eveius are much more likely to occur during the cheap excursions in summer to Washington City and the North. In deed, Washington is regarded as a sort of national Gretna Green. In many of these casps no cruel parents interpose any objections to tho match, but the hypothetical elopement wa3 adopted with a view of economy. It saved a wedding outfit and entertaimeuts that usually follow marriages. The Richmond (Va.) Slate attributes the failure of foreign immigrants to settle in the South to th presem e.of the negro as an imp rtsnt element of the population of th tt section. On the other hand the Richmond Whig says: "Prujudice against tho negro is indige nous only to the soil they inhabit, and it is especially noticeable that the im migrant cla-s of foreigners when they first come among us know little or noth ing of such distinctions until they have imbibed it from accociation with our selves. ' It is likely that a Congressional Com mittee will be appointed to visit North ern Georgia and North Carolina this summer to make a thorough investiga tion of the charges that have recentlj been made in regard to the lawless, re bellions, cut-throat " moonshine" popu lation said to exist in that section. These charges are now believed by the Commissioners of Internal Revenue to be false to a great extent, and to be slanders upon a people that are iu the main peaceable aud law n biding. (iieelcy and Long Writers. Congdon says: When Mr. E. C. Stcdinan, who was then a much younger writer than he now is, and by no means so well known, offered his poem about "Lager Bier," I remember that Mr. Greeley was much pleased with it, which was the more remarkable because he probably did not know the ti'ste, even if he knew the smell, of the mild tipple which Mr. Stediiuin celebrated so melo diously. He railed out from his den that the poem reminded him of Tl'ack cray's bu: lad of "BoiiiHe Raise" a re mark worth repenting, not because Mr. Stcdin.m's poem is particularly like Mr. Thackeray's, but because it shows that Mr. Greeley was familial with the great novelist's best things. '1 hero was a wed dingahoiit that time which created much sensation in New York society of a cer tain class, and winch was very fully re porter! and magnified and glorified and commented upon in the New York newspapers. It was called "The Dia mond Wedding," because the bride was reported to have received most costly gifts of diamonds. Mr. Stedman came forward with a light satire upon fashion able frivolities and unequal matches, which was printed. The young hard meant no harm, but he nearly involved the newspaper into a libel suit for which there was not the least possible reason, and himself in a duel with the irate papa of the bride, which would have been more unreasonable still. A last this was a great many years ago, but I remember that we had no end of fun out of iat the time. 1 cordially bear testi mony to the fact that Mr. Stedman was much pluckier about the matter than he would probably be in a like affair just now, since years have brought him mul tiplied responsibilities, a literary reputa tion well worth nursing, and, if be w:U pardon me for saying so(i just a little more of the commodity called aud known as common sense. A benevolent Detroit dentist an nounces that on a certain day he would pull teeth free for poor persons and pro vide laughin? gas. He nsed 700 gallons of gas and extracted 271 teetk. t Terrible Scene in a Theater, A VrriMe scene tool; place in the Tcatro del ( iico ut Madrid a few davs ago I Iu ring the p.'i I'o nuance a in d man forced h s way into lhe house, tinned with a hatchet, ami connived to c imb from the auditorium upon the stage, where, brandishing liis weapon furiously, he nunoiiua'd hiiiHcIf l the terrified audience us "the Avenger of Man ind.' I'pononcof thea'teialant-i approaching hi n v illi the object of pi r sumliug liiui to withdraw from the stage he Hinot' the tiuforltiniite man to tho earth with one deadly blow; and ho managed to keep the police oil', when they attempted to arrest him, by whir ing his hatchet round his head with such force and swif ness that none of fee ' agents of an hority ' dared to rush iu upon him. I rc.-cnily, however, a party of soldier made its appearance iu he theater, under the conrnand of an of ficer, who suiiimo cd the raging mani.ic to give up his weapon and surrender hiniM'lf, but in vain; whereupon the dctachmo.it received orders to lire at him with blif k cartridge, iu tho hopo ot frigh ening him into submission. All this while he was yelling at the top of his voice, tloiirishi. g hi hatchet, and threatening to kilt any body who -hould approach him. Hcc 'gniaing the impos sibility of overpowering him without risking the soldiers liv-s, the officer i,i command gave the order to load with bal and liro upon him. A minute Inter the wretc hed man lay a corpse upon the stage, three bullets having passed through his hea I ; and, this hidily-scn-sational dramatic episode having" been thus brought to a close, the audience re returned to their place-, from which they had lied in terror when the madman made his lirst and last appearance upon the stage, and the evening's perfoi n mees were resinned at the point at w hich they had been iiiteriuplcd by Mankinds Avenger." Luiulun ltletrnvh. Rent on Ituililiic-Stone. . The powers of tho various kinds of buildinsf-slone to resist prcs-iirc and at mospheric lnlluences are well known, lint tin re scarcely ever occurs an exten sive tire which does not emphasize the need of better information as to the effect of heat upon stone. This need Hiram A. Cutting, State Geologist of Vermont, has undertaken to supply by n series of experiments, the first result of which is to confirm and give exact ness to the general impression that gran ite is a poor heat register, mid the second to bIiow that there is w ide choi-c even in granite - in this respect. Ho tested twenty-two specimens of the best known quarries, mid found that while all wen.' unaffected by the 50(1 of heat, dainago usually began nt OUU1, was serious and fre.iieiit nt SlMl", and nt 1 ,.! I", a'l the specimens wero ruined, the stone from Mount Desert standing tho tes' p rhaps better than any other. Ho gives it as his opinion that the effect of water on heated granite is rather apparent than real. The importance of this informa tion is very great, especially to hu Mors and insurers. In spite of tluse hints, this favorite stone will probably con tinue to be used in " lire-proof " build ings, ii ml possibly without serious dan ger, if it is only used in very solid walls, but to use it in buildings supporting columns, especially within the walls, is only to invito the tutting of the whole interior of the building if a fire should break out. A Learned Compositor. Groreo W Coroin a Utica composi tor, who lias been making his legs his compasses and seeing the world, writes, to the Olifrrrr; ' i am succeeding very nirely at the Khedive's printing ollico, and have been paid for my ten days' work in March, 385 piasters or .2 . I have frequently a chance to see the American and European newspapers, and find them very good company. 1 he banking system hero is ddnc on the re verse principle-they charge the deposi tor a per ccn age for keeping his money. lhe matter wiiieti i nave to ' set up in the composing room is most y iu the French and Italian languages, Mid I have become protiy familiar with the work, in the office a number of Ian- guagesare used promiscuously French, Italian, and Arabic, but very little Eng lish, 'lhe Arabic is much more gut cral than the others, and each of tho charac ters represent sounds as in 'hort-haud. The other day we experienced a hurri cane, the first blow of the hot, dry wind from the desert called the Khamsciie. This generally occurs at the beginning; of summer. The sigjit of its effects hero Wiis very striking. Suddenly the gale, laden with fine, yellow sand, swept through the city. The streets, narrow, dirty, and dotted with mud holes, were tlrongcd with people of every dcscri tion and nation, carriages, carts, camels, donkevs, goats and dogs. They pre sented a lively appearance ns they hur ried in every direction, their movements accompanied by the slamming of doors i i i ! i l.: ..f ..i i . r anil 0UUU9, urcuik!ii wi ftiasn, i walk about the city wearing my turban, I am generally taken for a Turk or Greek, and so escape mnny of the beg gars and their picas for buckshcesh, gift of money." A Sucress'nl Pioneer. An old Elmirian writes to the Ahn itn from Kansas ns follows: 1 hae been in the West twenty-live years, niid do not know that I am any more liable to be blown up here than the editor of tho Advrtiter is in his sanctum. I have been in Kansas six years, the grasshopper year included, and have made enough during that brief periol here, so that men who have livetl all tlteir lives in L'hemune County, and are now the old men there, and have delayed and slaved alt their lives among the stumps and stones for a precious living, cannot to dsv buv out mv last five years' accumu lations. And I can point the editor to voumr men. literally within a Btono's throw of Elmira, who to-day are work ing bard on the best farms there are there, and who are barely making a Jiving from hand to mouth; and who if thev were here, could nut themselves on a basis at once to crow up with the eountrv. and become 'hrifty and inde pendent farmers within the next five I ytarm. PASSING SMILES. A low story- - the basement. Dead issues old newspapers. The home stretch putting up a clothes line. Ai'Tiioitsare spoken of as dwelling in nt: it s, because so few of their are able tc live on their first story 'J, in; on the Mains,'' a bookiust on; won't he mucl of a "iiccess Only six Indians killed in .he first chapter. Ix reading the personals nnd depar tmcs in the newspapers one discovers that distinguished visitors, lite loose powder, go off' with a puff". When a Georgina man gets too weak to split a watermelon open with an ax, his relatives begin to look around and see what's the best they can do on a head stone. ' What," says an inquisitive young ladv, "is the most popular color for a bride." We may be a little particular iu such matters, but we Bhoulu prefer a white one. Ik Bismarck insists on hisre-ignation, the Emperor William knows our address. Up two (lights of Btairs, and knock at the right-hand door. Don't kick the panels. lSurtUttt. Very red-haired passenger "I say, guard vhy on earth don't your train go on? ' Guard" Good gracious, sirl put your head in; how can you expect to go on while the danger signal is out?'' " I know a victim to tobacco," said a lecturer, "who hasn't tasted food fur thirtv vcars." "How do you know he hasn'"t?" asked an auditor. "Because tobacco killed him iu 1S50," was the reply. Over five gallons of enstor oil have been used in oiling the skates of the Hartford rink. We are thankful that a new line of industry has opened to the dreadful stuff'. Vunbury Mws. He" Why, you see, the fact is, my dear, 1 knocked your mcdiieval teapot oil' the top shelf and broke" She "Oh, my prophetic soul I My teapot?' He (bitterly)" No. Merely my headl ' See, mammal exclaimed a Iitte one, as puss, with arching spine and ele vated rudder, strutted around the table, " cc, kitty's eat bo much she can't shut her tail down." Heavy swell (to a customer of the house) "I think 1 have seen you before; your face seems very faniilhr to me" Customer "Very likely, sir, 1 was long a sheriff's officer. (Gent collapses.) A German traveler in Africa charac terizes a people he came across as " in tensely black, dolichocephalic and patyihine, prognathic, dichotomatic a id dolichodactylic.1' We have seen u man knocked down for less than that. A ouno man who plunged into the water and rescued a maid, n who had sunk to the river bottom, was rewarded by her hand. She couldn't doubt his ailci tion ; she knew he was ready to dive for her. Emerson says everything good in mai. leans on something higher. Emer son is right. We have seen a man lean oil n eh-grnph pole, and the only good in him was beer. At least he said it was good. ' lli rt'. John, rlnn'l Ml those crackers up," H.uU niit1 wiili h Imtdiil nna:; ' 'I licy'rr Bnue I stved oil jmrjtOM Ti put in tin. luitiy'x p:ii " " W. ll," kiiIiI Jiihn lti'!( lor th dooi, A nil n ai-lil hi; fur hi li:ii, " Wiiiit iiuikci y tm hi cro-i about It, thenf Ain't I I lie lul.y's pa.?" " Fancy Fanner" asks: "How do you keep weeds out of your garden? ' Bless your soul, we don t! We tried having a hand-organ play "Pinafore" to them, but as they still kept on growing, we concluded that it was best to go fishing and let hcm grow. When the tulclleclual typo Inn't Mrcfiit, isn't careful, OI the poet's voluntary cltwr rhyuii, Clever rlirme. He Is prett; sura to set them up mom' learfuV Most f ah ful, For a printer's work lif occ unitd by lime, Tied by time. A man out West obtained a divorce from his wife, and married again within three days after tho decree was granted. An liisman commenting on the man's action, remarked: "iiedad, he couldn't have bad much respect for his first wife, to be marryin' again so Boon after lavin' her." H k was a little lawyer man, Who meekly blushed while he began , Ht-r poor dead husband's will to icmd. He smiled while thinking ol hlsft-Tli-n said lo her, so tenderly, " You hare a nice fat legacy." And when belay neit day In bed, With plasters on his broken bead, He wondered what on eaitb be'd said. Colonel Ixoersoll says he doesn't see " how it is possible for a man to die worth 5,Of'O,0OU or 10,000,000 in a city full of want." Nor do we. Editors should club together and resolve not to die worth fO.UOO.OUO or $10,000,000. We would rather not die at all than to leave this world worth that much money. Sorrutown herald. A VTar Anecdote. During the late war General McLaws, now postmaster at Savannah, was riding down his picket line, and encountered a genuine son of the Old Pine Tree State on duly, who had taken his gun apart, with the intention of giving it a thorough cleaning The General halted in front of him. when the following conversation i nsued : " Look here, man, are you not a senti nel on duty?" "Well, y-a-s,abitofone!" " Don't you know its wrong to take your gun apart while on duty?" " Well, now. who the deuce are you?" The General saw his chance, and with a sly twinkle of the eye, replied: " I'm a bit i f a General." " Well, Gineral, you must excuse me. You see tmr is so many blamed fools ridin' 'round here a feller can't tell who's Gineral and who ain't if you'U jist wuit till 1 git Hetsy Jane fixed I will give you a bit of a s'lute." The General smiled and rode on, firmly convinced that that sentinel would prove equal to any emergency. Samautai Atttw. Fustic is yellow dye-wood got fro a tree which grows in South America and West Indies, and is wed foi dyeing rtmh nd warn which have first been dyed blue, which the (nstie changes to green.