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RNAL. VOLUME XIX. WINCHESTER, TENNESSEE. THURSDAY, JULY 1, 1880. NUMBER 10. r OME TOriCS OF THE BAY. Tun archery business is not hi fashion able at it once was. Tin: corn crop of tho West promises to le unusually largo. Till! wheat and oats crops of Alabama arc reported as failures Tub dillioiiltics between Jioumania and Hulguriii Iiave been removed. r is an indictable crime to kill a tur key buzzard or carrion crow in Tenn essee. Thkuk hat been more rain in North era Dakota this season than before in en years. General Burnsipe has been ro o'ected United States Senator from ' Rhode Island. Texas farmers arc generally very far behind the times in the use of labor wiv ing machinery. It is reported that Don Cameron will not accept the Chairmanship of the National Committee. SA J Aliln mjei imiiiiuiufl linn fivf 000,000 will bo spent by the Americans (j in Europe this season. i n ..: r,A There will be more grain and cotton , raifotl in icxas iius year uiuu uunng any three previous years. A tract of 50,000 acres on the North Pacific Hailroad has been bought for a olony from lielfast, Ireland. Mr. Ja.mixR. Keene is to have a telecraph wire all to himself, connect ing with his cottage at Newport. Tub expenses growing out of the late : relr Uiou frorr July 1, 1801, to June 30, 11870, inclusive, is $(i,710,702,.r)08. Great 1iutaix paid upwards of $12,- 1 000,1 00 for tho butter imported the first f three months of the present year. The White Mountain resorts are be- nig connected ny leiepnonu so mat, tuc a hoarders can hear Beecher preach. J i A i ew weeks ago while people in New York were dying from excessive heat, a mow storm was raying at Leadville, Col ! Miik. A. T. Stewart has attracted at f tention among her friends by laying aside black and appearing in somewhat gaudy colors. Tub London Tinvs says that without heavy rains the crops in (ireat Britain this year will be as bad as in the worst years that are j ast. The IJiiecn of Sweden is suffering so severely from a long-seated disease of tho heart that only the slightest hopes of her final recovery are entertained. TllK Empress of Russia loved eats and tho Czar hated 'em, and that was what caused their cstranfci mcnt. A wife ought always to give in on the cat ques tion. The farmers in the vicinity of Elgin, III., have planted about 225 acres of amber cane for sugar and syrup, and will give this new industry a trial this season. Cattais IIowgate will do his best to introduce the telephone at the North IMc. Among the articles of equipment for his polar expedition, are twelve telephones. Rohcoe Conkmku was originally named Samuel, after an uncle of his, but at the age of ten he took the name of Roscoe from a novel and has since been called by it. No man, according to the Washington Capital, can be a successful drummer unless he dresses in a square inch plaid suit and talks through his nose with a New York nasal twang. To be a successful newspaper man in F ranee one must be as skilful with his sword and pistol as with his pen. It adds snap to an article to know that its writer has killed his man. Keene, the Chicago stock gambler has lost $11,500,000 out of a total capital of $14,000,000, in his stock and grain operations during the last twelve months. Still, he is worth his millions. Excavations near Wcldorf, in the neighborhood of Bonn, Germany, have brought to light the site of an old town, believed to be of Roman origin, but the extent of which is yet unknown. Intelligence has reached St. Peters burg that the Chinese are massing large bodies of troops on the Russian frontier, and that an attack is expected without Hie formalitv of a declaration of war. Lucca, the songstress, says that she cares for money only that she may make other people happy. She then turns around and invest $40,000 in diamondf and $100,000 in real estate for herself. Mr. Clark Millb, the sculptor, of fers to makeiin pntipatrian atntnp it CI tut Joseph E. Johnston for $15,000, which he uyg is half-price. It will take $5,000 worth of metal and two years of work, The ease with which Vesuvius is now ascended il attracting immAnn numbers of tourist to the historic mountain The trip from Naples is now made in an hour, and at a great saving in expense Mish Riqney, a school teacher, at Rigncy, 111., white, married the llev. Mr. Raymond, colored, and her relatives are endeavoring tosend her to an asylum on the ground that her love for him is a mania. Thomas Jefferson's heirs have agreed to relinquish the burial grourd at Monticello to tho Government, with the understanding that Jefferson's grandchildren shall find sepulture in the enclosure. The expatriated Jews of Rassia mak a most pathetic appeal to tho Jews o tho United States to assist them to come hither, where they say they can work and earn a support for themselves and families. There are five bogus colleges in Phil adelphia that issue diplomas at the rate of $15') apiece. A man may become cither a Doctor of Laws, a Doctor of Divinity or a Doetor of Medicine for that amount. There are some things cheaper than talk. A New York corresDondcnt tells an interesting story about four women who get $25 an hour for going to dinners and receptions to talk and to help the hostess entertain her guests. The Massachusetts Legislature has passed a law repuiring oleomargarine to be niado "of the fresh suet of beef cattle," and that it shall be distinctly branded as o'eomargarinc. It also makes it a penal offense to sell it as butter. The Ottawa correspondent of the Montreal Gazette says there is at present a large quantity of lumber being shipped by the St. Lawrence and Ottawa Rail road for the United States markets. The yards at both stations are filled with freight cars from nearly all the North American roads. The Grcenbackers will enter the Presidential contest with General Weaver, of Iowa, for their standard bearer, his nomination having been reached in Chicago after an all night session of the convention. The Pomoroy- Hoyt wing of the party have not yet named their candidate. That emiment ladies' man, Mr. Geo. M. Staley, has at last come to grief which is to say, the Erie (Pa.) jail. Mr. Staley is fifty-six years old, and al though he has but one arm, has five wives one-fifth of an arm per wife. We are glad to luar that they are all doing as well as could be expected. Although M. de Lessens asserts that American capitalists have offered to furnish him with $00,000,000 for carrying out the scheme of a ship canal across the Isthmus of Darien, the story is re garded, both here and in England, with considerable allowance. This evidently is one way de Lesscps has for manufac turing a boom. A Pheffielp manufacturer is re ported to have told his workmen to vote just as they pleased "in fact, I sha'n't tell you how I'm going to vote, ho said. After it is over I shall have a barrel of beer brought into the yard." "Hear, hear," shouted he men. "But I sha'n't tap it unless Mr. Wortley, the Tory can didate, gets in." Northern Huncary must be. a de lightful place to live in. The poor people of that locality are, and have been, in great distress and in danger of starvation, and have been emigrating by thousands. Now the Austrian Govern ment steps in and orders the emigration to cease. It will neither allow the starving inhabitants to go nor provide them with food. Two boys and two girls, the eldest of whom was under 10, planned to elope from Ottawa and get married this side of the line. One of the boys obtained $80 for expenses, but the other's financial calculations failed, and at the last mo ment he was compelled to withdraw from the enterprise. His sweetheart, however, could not give up the idea of eloping, and go accompanied the more prosperous couple m their flight. The farm on which Cornwallis sur rendered, at Yorktown, Va., is now owned bv Mr. Bob Wolfe. The ground where Cornwallis actually handed over his sword to Washington was for many years marked by four tall poplar tree-1, but these were out down for firewood m the late war. not however, without the precaution being taken to plant a peach sapling in their place, and this has now grown up, and stands all alone in a wide meadow. , Most fond fathers and mothers believe their children aneels whatever their neighbors think of them. Perhaps there is no particular barm in parents having this idea if they do not put too literal a construction upon it. Napoleon Dra- peau, of Ottawa, Ont., was a little too litoml in the belief that his child was an angel. He threw his little girl out of a two-story window because he thought she was an angel and could fly. He would no doubt have made an angel of her if a neighbor had not happened to catch the child. Napoleon now makes Ottawa jail a temporary St Helena, SOUTHERN NEWS. Wolves are destroying tho swine about ilouston, Ala. Ex-President Davis was seventy-two fears old Thursday. Many now furnaces and rolling mills to going up in Alabama. The bottom of the lake opposite Vicks burg is coming to the top. Tub cattle drive from Texas this year will realize about $1,000,000. A iieaii weighing 200 pounds was killed this week near Vieksburg. BiiLLFitod legs are being shipped North from Keelfoot Lake. The newspapers of Tennessee have an aggregate circulation of 211,600. Tim farmers aro all hopeful in Georgia, ho only drawback being in tho wheat. There is one field of broom-corn in ill County, Texas, containing 600 acres. The sugar-cano bcetlo is a new pest of tho Louisiana plantations about New Tberia. Tub work on tho now Sibley eotto mills in Augusta, Ga., is progressing rapidly. Tub Bath Paper Mills were sold at Aiken, S, G, at public outcry June 8, for 850, 500. Competing ice factories in Augusta, Oa., have reduced tho price to half a ent a pound. A fence is to bo placed around the Jackson Statue at Nashville to protect it from vandalism. Tub negroes in Louisiana have stopped talking about tho exodus business; some Jung better to do. They havo formed an anti-dueling as sociation at Camden, S. C., with Judge Kershaw as President. DmiiNO the last two weeks there bavo ocen but two deaths in Natchez, Miss., a eity of 0,000 inhabitants. Thirteen teachers' institutes for the ipeeiul benefit of colored teachers will be held in Tennessee this year. The total receipts from all sonrees of tho lato centennial exposition at Nash ville are said to bc$2S,3:i5.80. Anderson County, S. C, has twenty threo Democratic clubs thoroughly organ ized with a membership of 3,500. Silk-raising in the South is receiving attention, and bids fair to bo a leading feature in commercial statistics. Bats are swarming in New Orleans Parish Prison, and Mr. Pixlalahoro of fers to exterminate them for $500. The pastor of a church at Austin, Tex. , has announced a sermon on tho subject, "A Tight Squeeze, or the Round Dance." The Board of Trade at Natchez recom mends that place as a good crossing for any through railroad that may be pro jected. Is Jackson, Miss., within tho last few months, a large cotton-seed mill, an ieft factory and steam saw-mill havo been erected. A niece of the lato Hon. John C. Cal houn, Mrs. L. T. Do Graffenriod, aged seventy-five years, died at Decatur, Ga., last week. Texas bos a fund in ready cash of $200,- 000 raised from the safo of public lands, with which it proposes to build a State University at Austin. The bust report of the Staio Adjutant General of Texas shows no lew than 6,000 fugitives from justice, of whntn 1,000 aro ihargod with murder. A company has been organized in New Orleans to establish a juto factory, and a considerable quantity of jilto seed will be planted in Louisiana this year. Tub float of cypress this spring from the swamps between tho Mississippi and Atchafalaya Rivers exceeds that of any previous year. Thousands of laborers aro working at it. Several citizens of Marietta, Ga., havo united in sending to New York for twenty-five white servant girls. Tho mi- liability of negro servants has rendered this step necessary. TnB Continental Guards, of New Or leans, will participate in the anniversary of tho battle of Bunker Hill. Their uni form is brilliant with buff and gold, after tho old Continental stylo. The peoplo of Memphis aro compelled to go outside the taxing district limits to indulge in Sunday amusements, xo get shaved or take a horn, they get on one of the steamers and indulge. Boys under twenty years old in Mem phis, who want to play cards or billiards, or drink intoxicating liquors, must carry written permits from their parents or they will bo refused by saloon-keepers. The State of Virginia hires out five hundred aud twenty-five of her convicts to work on her railroads and other pubho improvements, for whom she receives twenty-five cents net each per day. While three clerks were engaged in distilling vanilla extract for a soda foun tain in a drug st-ro in Charleston, 8. C, the retort holding the extract exploded, seriously injuring all tliree of the clerks. Gen. Johnson Haoood, the nominee of the Democratic party of South Carolina for Governor, has been Controller General .im. 1876. He is a success- lul planter, a fine executive officer, and his ambition is limited to a ser " term as Governor of bis State. Tnnr .mull bovs in Dallas, Texas, mWM for holding negro minstrel shows in an unoccupied building without thA knowledge or consent of the owners. ' The Mayor fined them from fifty cenU to $1.25 each, and then, because ho had remembered he had once been a boy himself, ho paid the fines and sent tho offenders home. The Department of Agriculture of South Carolina is preparing to send trust worthy men into each county iu tho State to make up statistical reports from personal inspection of farms. The Com missioner is of the opinion that accurate statistics of this kind can not bo obtained by tax gatherers, as taxpayers invari ably curtail iu their returns the amount of land planted and tho number of cattle owned. In Sumter County, S. C, a negro named Ellison Hampton beat bis ten-year-old sou to death with a leather thong. Ho first beat him until his arm wearied with ft switch, and then tied him up to a stake in his yard and struck him in tho neighborhood of four hundred lashes, the boy expiring under tho lash. It seems that Ellison had been married twice, this boy being the child of bis first wife, who is still living. On this occasion tho wrath of the father was evoked by tho boy having gone to see his mother in violation of his father's orders. Ellison has been arrested, and is now in jail charged with murder. Why Mr. Withers Took tho Chair Home With Him. What is known among tailors as the " hip pocket " if exclusively a character istic of the American species of man. Mr. Withers is not a Western man, and is wholly unacquainted with whis ky ; but his recent experience of tho in compatibility of hip-pocket and glass bottles was very painful aud embarrass ing. Jle had returned to his Orange- county home from a brief visit to New York, and bad brought with him as a present for Miss Wilson to whom he was betrothed a bottle of that remark able cement which is sold bv sidewalk merchants, and which is by them repre sented as being much stronger than wrought iron. It bad occurred to him that this cement would bo a very nice thing to have in his future house, since with it all sorts of broken china and glass could be mended, and every one knows that children will break a great deal of china. On the evening of his arrival home ho put the cement bottle in his hip pocket and called on Miss Wil son, intending to offer it to her as soon as he entered tho house. Mr. Withers was ardently attached to tho young lady, and, when ho saw her before him, be not unnaturally forgot all about such merely earthly matters as cement. Tho old people welcomed him politely, and, after a few moments of conversation, withdrew with a discretion which it is to 1ms wished that all old peo ple would emulate. Tho bottle was a stout one, and would perhaps bavo withstxd anv or dinary pressure, but, as Miss W ilson weighed fully 110 pounds, and as the back of the small rocking-chair was of bard wood, it is not strange that the bottle yielded. Mr. Withers was so much interested in tho weather and othersubjects such as usually absorb the attention of young men in his position, that he did not notice tlio Meaning oi the glass, and it was not until tui hour later, that a false alarm of father iu the front ball induced Miss Wilson to flee to the sofa, and suggested to Mr. With ers tho advisability of turning up the lamp. The cement had done its work, and Mr. Withers did not get up to attend to the light, but requested the young lady to discbargo bis duty for him. She did so, and then noticed his pained and preoccupied expression. To her anxious inquiries he admitted that he felt a little faint and would like a glass of water. Miss Wilson hurriedly went for the water, reproaching herself for being so heavy, and accusing herself of selfishness and want of considera tion. In her absence the young man made superhuman efforts to wrench himself loose, but the cement refused to yield. When Miss Wilson returned with the glass of water, ho looked so much worse that she was really fright ened and he was compelled to tell her the real state of the cast. She was a practical person, and she promptly proposed to get a tea-kettle of hot water and dissolve tho cement, but desisted when ho explained to her that his system would not bear tho applica tion of water at the boiling point. She then timidly suggested that if site were to call "pa, perhaps pa might lend yon a pair," but Mr. Withers siud no ; ho could not bear the mortification of lieing found in such a situation by any father. It was finally agreed that he should wait until a late hour, and should then bike the chair home with him. This was ac cordingly done, and, had not the unfort unate young man been arrested by a local constable, who only discharged him when a severe test proved that his liossession of the chair was purely invol untary, his misfortune might never have become generally known. When disas ters such as this are liable to happen to the wearers of hip-pockets it becomes doubtful whether they are not altogether too hazardous for general use. Iu fact, good authorities maintain that the hip pocket is positively detrimental, and that an earnest and united effort should be made to secure its extirpation. Thirty attempts were made against Louis Philippe's life. Seven of them have become historical, and are set down among the records of his reign. In tho year 1833, a pistol shot by Bergeron ; 1835, infernal machine by Fieschi ; 1836, pistol shot by Aliband ; same year, another pistol shot by Meunier ; 1840, a gun shot by Darmes ; 1846, a rifle shot by Pierre Leconte ; and, in 1846, a pistol shot by one Joseph Henri, who, while the King is assuring the crowd that he is unhurt, fires again, and again misses him. Malem Dessert. Feel and slice apples, k'ew till done, then run through colan der, sweeten and season. Beat the whites of three eggs to a stiff froth, and just be fore serving whip them into quart of the stewed apples. Eat with cretin and call for mora, Ol'It YOUNG FOLKS. tlaiiiia' Surprlno. Two Utile hi'ud totfeUier met, Twolittlti ftu-OH HWcut ttlid fulr Prt-HMcil side by utile, while softly twin Tho curlH of brown anil goldi'l) batr; Twn put of lurny wliiHrn'riiiR lip. Which huve no mm-li to plan tuid nay ; Two lltllu huiirt ho full of Joy And auuflmiu through tho happy day I Onr Ri-cri-t sltarrd between the two. What can It tie ? Docri mamma know T Not thc, indeed 1 Then who can Knoaa The turret they aro plotting mi? lint i-eel they're oft, tho merry roKueN, With HcamperiiiK feet and Jnyoiut ahout, And backward Klancea at mamma, Who wondera whut they aro about. Ho, tinK-a-ltnif-a-llnK-a-llUK I And in rumen ilrldui-t. "Snro and tru Ah 'tit ymiifol', ma'am. Homo one'a been And lelt UiIh vallytino for you ! " So niiinium rendu the printed worda CMlKHjittlled and crooked though they are) Which Humelmdy haH aent t her " Wo luv yu, deer, dear, airWi; mamma ! " Wan over nicer valentine Than UiiH, 1 wonder ? Mamnia'H e M Hold two bin teara. And maybe Hho Can huohh who aent it, if nhe tricH; Hut lent alio Khoulil not really know, Oomca Hhjiy forward little lu ; Whlln Oracle, following, helpH her Hup, " Mamma, u-e writcd that for you ! '' Losing tlio l ire, A traveler as ho journeys eastward from New York, via the Sound boats and the New London Northern division of the great Civntral Vermont railroad, after whirling through the busy and picturesque manufacturing Connecticut villages, and entering Western Massa chusetts, may see on his lefL about a mile below the Amherst station, and the same distance from College Hill, an old, shabby brown house, standing back from the highway, surrounded by smooth green fields and shaded by immense elm trees. Here, within tho memory of some of the more elderly people of tho neighbor hood, lived "Granny l'om'ry," us she was called, an intcllment old lady and a devoted Christian, who was fond of talk ing about the early colonial days when there were only two houses in Amherst, and ono each in tho adjoining towns of Hadlcv and Belebertowu. I will give one of her stories just as it was told mo by a lady who bud it from "Uranuy l'om'ry" herself, and which has never before been iu print. "Thero were plenty of wolves all about here when I was a child. They were always hanging about the clearings, and watching for a stray pig, or lamb, or chicken. " Ono summer day mother saw one thrust its sharp nose through the half open doorway of our log house and look hungrily at the cradle where the baby lay sleeping. Mother didn't scream, for she did not wish to waken the baby, but sho seized a brand from the tire which was blazing under the dinner-pot in the open chimney, and, whirling it in her baud, run after 'the ugly brute as be made good his escape to the swamp. " In the summer evenings we could hear the wolves howling all about us on tho hills and plains to the north, west, and south, and iu the swamps to the east. Wo children wero never allowed to play out of doors after sundown with out first taking the precaution to build a fire to keep the wolves away. " It was great fun for us to heap the brush, which father wanted to have out of tho way, upon tho lingo tire, and to see the flames and tho sparks and tho smoke go gyrating up to the very zenith, almost putting out the eyes ot the stars, us wo thought, while the fierce light il luminated tho whole of our clearing. " Did a wolf show himself in tho vi cinity, ho was presently detected by more than one pair of childish eyes. Mother would then drop her knitting, and, seizing a firebrand, givo chase to the cowardly sneak until ho bad hidden away in tho dim weird shadows of tho forest. " One summer the wolves bad increased to such an extent that we children did not daro to venture into tho swamp for berries, nor, as tho autumn camo on, to search in tho woods for nuts, and our winter supply threatened to be alarm ingly small. " One frosty morning, after breakfast, father said to us bo would finish digging tho potatoes that day, and tho boys might go down to the "Buy Path," and get Enoch Thayer's boys to go with them wolf-hunting. Tho day promised to be a fine one, although, as tho boys started off, mother told them that the sun, which bad risen clear, immediately hid himself behind a cloud. " During the forenoon father came in saying thero was a storm brewing, and mother and tho girls must go out and help him pick up the potatoes. They went at onco, leaving me to keep house, and charging me to take good care of the baby, to keep the samp boiling, and stir it often so that it would uot burn on tho bottom of tho kettle. "Iuttein i carefully and assidu ously to tie. y that when tho little fellow fell asleep I fell asleep also, ami when, at noon, my father and mother and sisters came in from the potato-field, cold and tired and hungry, anticipating a delicious dinner of hot samp ami milk, they found the lower part of their pud ding burnt and the top of it uncooked, and the fire out. "It was before the days of friction matches, and it was a serious matter to 'loso the fire.' Mother. knelt on the cheerless hearth and carefully stirred the embers, while my sisters blew and blew the sides of every bit of charcoal and blackened brand, but not the faint est spark remained ; tho fire was dead ! "Father and mother looked at each other anxiously. Tho boys had taken our three guns with them, so we had no flints with which to strike firo. Father sient a little time rubbing two dry pieces of stick together, but it was no go ; he could get no fire. Finally ho said, patiently : ' Thero is no other way but for me to go tho tliree miles and a half to Mr. Thayer's. The boys may not get home to-night, and we may suf fer from cold aud hunger before they come.' " We watched our cheerful, stalwart, planter father stride off down the narrow Lwul nnth ..moil ri 111 m and alaTO IUIRII until, mameu m.i. wm ukv. ,. hatchet and a stout stick. 'Keep the door and windows closed and the chil dren inside, mother.' he called back from the shadow of the woods, ' for you have no fire with which to scare away the wolves nor any guns to shoot them.' " The nun begun to fall soon after lie left, and it was a cold, dark, gloomy afternoon. Every sound mode by the wind and every shadow cast by the toss ing limbs of the trees about the house was supposed by us to be either Indians or wolves. Wo were all very hungry, for there was no well-filled hu'der to fall back up on. Wo children fretted some, but mother's usual cheerfulness was not dis turbed. Sho song for us hymns and quaint old songs, and told us stories us she knit and knit, until the short autumn afternoon camo to a close. Tho gray twilight was quickly followed by tho inky darkness wliich came creeping up out of the forest and shut us in. ' "Although we could no longer see each other, mother gathered us about her on her bed in tho comer of the room, while wo clung to her neck or her hands by turns, us she kept up a bravo, com posed courage, Wo well knew, however, by tho occasional quaver iu her voice, that she was alarmed at our father's long absence. ' It seemed a very, very long time to us while we wero huddling there in the dark, before we heard father's hearty, inspiring hidloa from the edge of the clearing. Soon he and ray brothers were at tho door, which mother hastened to unbar. "The tinder-box was quickly pro duced, and I shall never forget the joy which filled our hearts and shone out on our faces as we gathered alout the bright, grateful blaze of the firo which was soon dmicing up tho hugo throat of the stone chimney, for mother had the fuel all arranged ready to light. Mv brothers were laden with choice por tions of a deer they had killed, and it seemed but a moment before the pota toes wero boiling, tlio venison stealts broiling, and a johnny-cake baking on an oak board before the fire. " My father's long absence was ex plained by the fact that when ho reached our neighbor's house ho found Mrs. Thayer alone, her boys having accompa nied our boys to the mountain, and her husband having gone four miles to Had ley for fire, for their own had gone ont while Mrs. Thayer had been out-of-doors at work getting ready for tho threatening rain. Tho Thayers also had no flints left on their premises. "Tho firo which was thus obtained, after many miles of travel on foot through tho dense forests, was never lor.' after ihat, although it was extremely unlikely that such a conjunction of events, which so impressed upon theso two households the valuo of that von useful element, would ever occur again. ' The Grumbling Husband. The "grumbling husband," an indi vidual who, of all his fraternity, bus crenerallv the least cause for complaint, is ono of those advanced pessimists who renders existence as obnoxious as it is possible to make it to those who have the misfortuno to share his earthly pil grimage. It may be an affliction at the best of times, but the grumbler makes it ten times worse. He will begin tho day by abusing his breakfast ; and a man wito scowls over his collet?, eggs, and the daily paper may bo pronounced as not likely to improve in temper as the hours advance. Tho iulluenco of a grumbling woman is particularly depressing ; but that of a man a chronio grumbler is worse. We may expect to find some capricious brifihtucss or ephemeral ex altation at times support her narrow minded morbid complaints, for woman's moods constantly vary ; but with a man all this is different. There is more of tho " granite " in his composition, nis intuitions are duller, and his sympathies less active. Ho will tako a positive pleasure in nursing his ghxim. It may proceed trom physical or mciiuu tinmen, incessant disappointments, or poor di gestion ; but the grumbling husband is, in American parlance, "a caution" the most hopeless, selfish specimen of mankind we can meet, disqualified for society, unfit for home, a dead weight on every one's spirit. Who can combat his prejudices or move his spir itless misanthropy ? Ho takes a delight in seeing others as depressed as himself. You are enthusiastic over music, paint ing, poetry, literature, or any of the arts that remove tho cold prosaism of matter-of-fact reality ; he will endeavor to des troy the fervor and happiness you have experienced in the company of the fab led Muses and why? Because the dull leaden matter that forms his brain cannot soar to those high pinnacles of imagination and fiuicy ; and he will en vy auother's capacity for appreciating tho works which represent nothing or less than nothing to him. All giura blers, if nonentities, are, as a rule, es sentially practical j they love their creature comforts as dearly as they love themselves ; their predominant materiid ism makes them resent the slightest flaw in the management of the house hold as an injury to themselves ; and woo betide the woman the grumbling husband has made his miserable spouse if the peas are hard for his Sunday s din ner, or the potatoes waxy when ne pre fers a floury vegetable I What antidote can be offered to resist the effects of these intolerable croakers? None. It is in the very blood and bones of the animal, irradicable as blight Tinaley't Magazine. California Glaciers. It is hard for many people to believe geologists when they say that our con tinent was once covered with ice, and that the grooves made by huge glaciers may be pluinly seen on rock and mount ain and high hill. It seems incredible that such severe cold ever prevailed in the Unit d States. We think of glaciers only in connection with the Alps and Himalayas. But scientific explorers have found glaciers on the Pacific coast, and one need not go to Europe or Asia in search of them. Mr. Clarenco King, an enthusiastic geologist, found on Mount Shasta, in California, a system of glaciers, the largest about four and a half miles long, and two to three miles wide. Mr. S. F. Emmons found a large Bystem in Wash ington Territory. He says : " Ten large glaciers observed by us, and at least naif as many more hid by the mountain from our view, proceeding from one isolated peak, Mount Rainier, from a most remarkable system, worthy of a careful and detailed study." Ma. Smith, who has to lug a scuttle of coal upstairs three times a day, reads with prospective joy the announcement that the coal-fields of the world will be exhausted is 2,000 Jr. WAIFS AND WH1JIS. Tire hotel keeper lives on his inn- como. Ten cents won't make a mill between pugilists. Two beads are better than one, butnot on the same pin. Tim bat ties of tho union fight between husband und wife. Dm anybody over soo a littlo "pig lead" out by tho ear? Doks not a farmer becomo a caunibal when ho eats his own kino? Since tho foot produces acho-corns, what kind of fruit will tho negro. Tub addago must be changed. Bread always falls oleomurgarino-sido down. Man can not add one cubit to his own stature, but ho can make a horso stall. " l'r.KASKposs the butter," as tlio man remarked when ho sent his goat by rail. An apple threw the first man, Sinco then it lias sort o' let the business out to the baiiana. Mun with deaf and dumb wives possess some advantage over their more unfortu nate brothers. "Tins farm for sale, subject to mort gages and cyclones," is tho way they now hung out signs iu tho Southwest. lr the (Jovernraont wishes to keep colored cadets out of trouble, it should plant watermelon patches at West Point. An Ttliica man lost his wife and a yel low dog by one stroko of lightning, and ho tried for a half a day to revive the dog. This .Taps study political economy. Ah, yes; wo know what that is. Five dollars directly to tho voter is worth $23 spent on fireworks. Twochurch socials at Topcka, Kansas, led to live divorces, one violent death and several lights. Seems to be a good place Topeka quarrel. Two French Senators meet : "I havo just come from the Senate. Tho sitting busted threo hours." "What passed?" "Threo hours." Jamhs H. (I .r.r.ri and Emma Canter were married at llrand ltapids a few days ago. (five 'em time and they'll make a spunking team. A Yoimo Darwinian: Jack (to his mar ried sister)" Hi I Polly!! Look ! I ! Here's your baby trying to walk on its hind legs Mil" "Plant no flowers on my grave when I am dead," she said. They didn't, but a sun flower come up of its own accord. Wasn't sho foolish? In the midst of life somo men do all tho ovil they can, and when they die the papers tell lies about them at tlio rate of fifty cents per lino. WiiiNKi.i'.s aro not always tho sign of age. Look at tho calf's neck. Or ot a corrugated stove-pipe elbow. Or at a badly ironed shirt bosom, Ai'otiikcaiiv " You want this pre scription filled, sir, I understand?" Pat rick "Divil a bit of it, suit! It is tho bottle I wild have filled." It is only the female mosquito that bites, but when a mini gets a chance to belt ono with a towel, he's going to do it without stopping to inquire its gender. Kam'H Waldo Kmkiison keeps two cows and milks them himself. Somo of his brightest thoughts havo come to him while being kicked half way across the stable. When you sen a man sit down in a barber's chair, pin tho newspaper round his neck, and begin to read tho towel, you may put bun down as absent minded. "Well, Miss-takes will happen in the best regulated families," as the old gen tleman remarked upon bearing that the tidl and slender young man laid stolen his child away. Tub young Englishman, just over, read to his wifo tho heading of a medicine ad vertisement "Gained eight pounds in ten days," and remarked, "Hexcellcnt wages, that, Mary." "Household art decoration is -what takes with my boarders," said Mrs. Gil dersleeve, as sho mado a bread pudding and called her eldest daughter down stiurs to paint raisins on it A line in a Welsh poem reads: "Mi ranahi fihwi ganu amfy rieyrtn Pete." We advise Pete to do nothing of the kind. It would be injudicious. Norria town Herald. A medical writer asks: "Does posi tion affect sleep?" It does, particularly if the man is holding tho position of night watchman. Ho is liable to be dis turbed by the police. Evading a Fare. The stealing of a pin is apparently a slight offenso. Yet it may roveal char acter as clearly as the theft of 8100. Some years ago there lived in Now York a shrewd old merchaut named Aymar. He used to receive cargoes of mahogany and logwood, which were sold at auc tion. . On one occasion a cargo was to bo sold at Jersey City, and all bands started from the auctioneer's store to cross the ferry. When they were going through the gate, Mr. Aymar noticed one of the largest buyers slip through the gate without paying the 5 cents fare. He told the auctioneer not to take a bid from that man. " Why," said tho auctioneer, with an expression of surprise, " I thought he was good." "So did I," answered Mr. Aymar; " but I have changed my mind, and I will not trust him 81." A few months proved the accuracy of the judgment of Mr. Aymar, for the slippery merchant failed, and did not Eay 5 cents on the dollar, it aoes not y any means follow that business dis aster will come as a retrioution to a dis honest trader ; but this is certain, that a man who will steal even so trifling sum as would pay his fare in the horse car or the ferryboat will cheat you out of a larger sum if he finds a safe oppor tunity ' Herb is a good cure for a cough: Ground flax-seed and finest pearl barley, of each one heaping table-spoonful of pulverized lioorice-root, one heaping ' teaspoonful; of best loaT "nrJ"f" quarter of a pound; place earthen vessel ; pour on JT boiling water ; cover tightly nnU oi, and drink of it frequently. It should b made fresh every tmlT howrs.