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My Little Wife and }. From the Domestic Monthly. We are read together, My little wife and I; We are happy in fair and stormy weather, My little wife and I. The reason why is very plain, Tnere’s nothing queer about it; We never give each other paiD When we can do without it. V/e ha v e toil od o’er many a road most dreary Mv little wife and I; But our hearts were light when our feet were wearv. My little wife and I; ilie.roasou v.'liy w e journeyed on, Since hand in hand we started: We ne’er had seen the battle won By those v>ho were faint-hearted. Though our home he plain, thatnever teases My little wife and I; Though a humble cot, right well it pleases My little wife and I. The reason why we are content We do hot fear to labor. And though in toil our time is epent, We envy not our neighbor. \Ws never dream of ill for the morrow, > Mv little wife and I; Bat take what may come, be it joy or sorrow M.y little wife and I; ‘The reason why, we do not fret, And you’d do well to try it; We ne’er have found a person yet a, That was a gainer by it. o. H. c. The Froggie's Party. From the Nursery. The frog who would a-wooing go. Gave a party vou must know; And his bride, dressed all in green. Booked as fine as any queen. Their reception numbered some Of the best in froggiedouii; Four gray froggies i layed the fiddle— Hands all arouud and down the middle: Some stern old croakers theredid come, in white chokers, to thercom; While the belles, with rush-leaf fans. Danced with beaux in green brogaus, Flirted jn the bowers there, Midden from the ball room's glare. Three old froggieß Uied a reel— Twist, ’em, turn ’em. toe and heel. One little Miss was asked to sing, But she had a cold that spring; tut tic frogs were sound asleep, Bate hours —bad for them to keep. iOacli one wished the couple joy. No bad bovs came to annoy ; This next fall the news iB spreading, They will have their silver wedding. Sanscript Entertains the Pastor. “ Here’s a go,” muttered John Fanseript under his breath last Satur day as he poked up the fire in the parlor grate —“ here’s a go, sure as shootin’. The oF woman has gone and invited her minister to dinner, and I’m to entertain him when he , -XoVjf ’ '^iaVinp itions of the 1 Xt no\ ffroadhers.^'*' And Sanscript kicked the cat through the doorway with such force tliat the poor creature dislocated two of its teeth by concussion with the wainscoting on the opposite side of the hallway. Puss slunk away lick ing her bleeding chops and wonder ing, whether the house had fallen on any body else, while Sanscript banged the chairs into position and contin ued his soliloquy. “Now, I aiiit used to preachers, and no doubt I’ll make a muss of it. I’d sooner trim the corns on the hind feet of a mule, or comb the mane of Uncle John Robinson's boss lion than entertain a minister. What will the old duller want to talk about, I wonder? If he slings any Bible conundrums at me I’m lost. I never took much stock in the Bible. I don’t hold a very full hand in relig ious learning, and preachers have eufih a knack of setting up the deck that they deal themselves a full baud eyfry time. ( Wonder, now, if 1 comdh’t stand pat and bluff the old snoozefr on ace high. Since I come t'' think of it, I’m not so infernally ignorant, after all. . It’s been a long while ago since I wh’nt to Sunday school, but I recollect some of the prize-storks we learned there. Let’s see—” And Sanscript sat dow T n to think. So intent was his mind rummaging round through his brain for the dusty lofie of his Sunday-school days that lie' never noted the fact that he lmd sat upon his wife’s twenty-dollar fall bonnet, which she had carelessly left lying upon the solii. “ Let’s see, now,” mused John, tap ping his forehead. “ There was some thing about Daniel going to the Zoo logical Garden and falling into the heir pit, or getting bit by a camel. 1 forget just the. nature of Dan's ncciUeyl., Th.en, what was the tough yatii about some litte Jew boys who wfu thrown into the furnace of a rolling-mill, and came out without even singing their eyobrow>. Oh, yes.! Wasn't it .Goliath who licked twenty million Indians with the jaw bone of h mule and then sat down and'bawled because there wasn’t any more left ? Never mind, I’ll give the old Hoodlum a pretty good tussle, I reckon; and if I don't raise him right out of the pot on the first deal it will not be because I Nek gall. It becomes me to be agreeable to the old dead-beat anyhow', because Mrs. Sanscript said if I made a good im* pression on him she wouldn't insist on anew seal-skin sacqne this winter, and seal skin sacques don’t grow on trees. There goes the bell. I'll bet ten red ones that’s him.” Sanscript coaxed his ruffled hair with a few strokes from his hands, cleared his throat, pulled down his vest, walked out into the hall, and opened the door. A pale, cadaver ous-looking young man, with long hair, watering eves, high cheek-bones, large mouth, Roman nose, and clad in a suit of shiny black bowed and smiled at the master of the house most benignly. Under bis arm he carried a large book, which Sanscript thought, of course, was the Bible, or some work on theology.. Grasping the visitor by the hand, John yanked him into the hhllway with cordial in tent, and continuing to shake and squeeze, said: “My dear sir, this is indeed a pleasure; we’ve been expecting you; come right into the parlor.” With bewilderment written all over his face the young man tacitly followed “ Have this chair by the fire. Give me your hat. Mrs. Sanscript is dish ing the gruel now. I smell it, don’t you ? ” The young man sniffed the air and his face lighted up with the expres sion of a hungry and expectant stom ach. ‘•That most prominent odor—the one nearest you —is the stuffin’ foi* the duck. You like stuffed ducks, don’t you.” “ I’m very fond of duck,” ventured the young man, as he drew his coat sieve across his watering mouth. “That’s bully, I thought you liked duck. Them’s what the children of Israel fed on when they went down into Turkey, if I recollect rightly.” Sanscript reconnoitered from the corner of his off eye for the effect of his first theological shot. You see he wasn’t quite sure he had hit the bull’s eye. But the young man appears thajt SecretafVj 1^1 7 “HUIP we not better transact a I little business before dinner, Mr. Sanscript ? ” “Oil—ah—certainly, to be sure. How stupid in me now. I never thought about it that you always have prayers first; Shall I call in Mrs. Sanscript, or can’t you and me do it alone ? The old woman can’t jhandily leave off her cooking, and, if she should get tangled in that long prayer of hern, everything would burn into a cracklin’.” “Excuse me,” stammered the young man, as he flushed and took on a wild, dazed sort of look. “ Excuse me, sir, but I never said a prayer in my life. ” “ What —never said—oh, you’re a joking. ” “ Upon my word I’m not, much as I’m ashamed to own it. ” Sanscript stroked his chin and struggled hard to collect his scattered thoughts, and mentally observed : “ Well, bear’s a h—l of a preacher. Never prays ! Wonder what church he belongs to ! ” “I thought may be yon’d like to sub scribe, ” mildly continued the young man. “Subscribe ! Oh yes, to be sure! Why cert! ” Then to himself— “ The mercenary villain ! lie strikes me for a fiver before the dust settles. ” Then aloud— " This is for Heathen, 1 suppose. ” Beg pardon ! ’ •• To send someone into Hottentot to save souls that are hopelessly hist.” “ I dont exactly catch your mean ing. ” “ For the missionary fund, I sup pose. ” “ Which missionary fund ? ” “ How should I know—any of ’em, I guess. You ought to know. ” “Perhaps—hut will you subscribe?” “ Why cert.! How much is it?” “ Seven dollars. ” Sanscript went down into his pock, ei,produced the money and passed it over, as he quoted : “Blessed is he that givetll to the Poor, for ho shall have his reward. ” “Thank you!” .smiled the young map, ramming the bills down into his, pocket., “VV lien shall I deliver the hook. ? ”‘ THE FLORIDA AGRICULTURIST. < k “ What bopk ? ” It was Sanserif's turn now to.beiptizscled. “ Why, ‘Th,Meandering or-Mule teers," or the Mystery of the Murder ed Man, in three volumes. ” A light seemed to be breaking in upon Sancript’s horrified mind. lie grasped the poker and hoarsely whispered : “ Young man, who are you ? What are you ? ” The visitor took the precaution to arise and sidle toward the door before he answered. He was no doubt ben efited by the experience of a busy life. “ I’m agent for this book under my arm, the— ’’ “ And you are not a preacher V” “ No, sir.” gj “ Well, durn my buttons! ” There was a rush, a scurry of feet, the opening of a door, a dull thud as if leather and flesh bad come into violeut collision, and two men went tumbling down the front steps to the pavement, and Sanscript wasn’t one of them.* The hook agent’s exit was so vio lent and sudden that a man coming up the steps at that moment hadn’t time to get out of the way. Both went ratteling and rolling down to rcth ;r. The new visitor picked up I,'* ‘ stove pipe, ” dusted his breeches with his hands and looked wonder ingly after the book agent, w ho was limping away down town as fast as exhausted nature would carry him. Finally, visitor No. 2 cautiously as cended the steps ducking and dodg ing as if expecting some infernal ma chine to be sprung upon him at every step. lie rang the bell carefully, as though it was a house of mourning. Sanscript again came to the door. “ Well, sir. ” The visitor fairly jumped loose from his skin in affright. “ Is this where Mr. Sanscript lives?” “ What, if it is? What d’y want V” “Softly, softly, Brother Sanscript. The Good Book says—•” “ Oh, you’re a book ageut, too, are you ? Well, I’ll soon fix you. ” Away went visitor No. 2 after the manner of visitor No. 1. As he slid •off the tip of San script’s right boot the horrified voice of Mrs. S. arose in an excited key from the door way: “ John, Jo|m ! wlpt have you done? 1 “ Your minister! Well, I’ll be bless ed if I didn’t take him for another book agent. ” . Let us draw the veil. Love’s Young Dream. A bridal couple, with more style about them than a grass widow, hon ored the Indiana House with their presence two or three days during the past week. They gave the din ner room a mighty tony look by marching in at meal time arrayed in their new clothes, with white gloves on, and when old man Ryman first saw them, he took one square look, set down his coffee pot and went out into the kitchen and laughed until his eyeballs felt pointed. In t hat supreme moment he felt that he was paid ten times over with compound iuler est for all the trials, vexations and unpaid hoard bill encountered in his hotel experience since he left the old farm. When the dinner room girl got her face straight enough, she got behind their chair and said : “Roast beef, rostpork, lanib, chick en or fish ? ” The bridegroom said, “Chick’n an’ fish, ’ but the bride, with the character istic presence of mind for which her sex has ev .-r been noted, interposed: “ Oh, no, duckey, dear; we can’t take any o’ that; for, don’t you know, bidgywidgy, ’twould muss your gloves up? We’ll have to have some thing we can cat with our knives and forks. ” “So wo will, bonny-blue eyes—l never thought o’ that. What do you say to roast beef, then huxy-pnxy ? Can we go some o’ that sweety ! ” asked the happy man. “No, no—Jarley. It’s al ways tough, and we might splash the gravy and soil our clothes, don’t you see, honey dew ? Let’s take lamb, posie, that's always tender. I don’t care ranch about it, cut so easy, love, I expect the knives are as dull as a hoe, ” remarked the bride. “Well I don’t care, pussy; what ever you say, for,l s’uose we’ve got to keep up appearances; but durn cuy buttons? sugar luinp, if I fcain’t go** confounded big notion to pfeel sff these mittens an' wade-into some o’ that ere chicken and fish, for I’m all killin’ fond of it, an’ these blamed things sweat my hands so doosy poosy, an’ pucker an’ draw wors’n a stickin’ plaster, an’ hang me if I don’t almost sonsate they’ev blistered my fingers all up.” “No, no—never, goosy, don’t, do that for the world, or everybody’ll know we’re from the country, an’ maybe they’ll put us in the papers, hubby, dear, an’ wouldn’t that be awful ?” And the young wife had her own way about it, as they always do. The Matrimonial Lottery. A young stranger called on Dr. M’C— one evening, while he was a pastor in New York city, to engage his services in the performance of a nuptial ceremony. “I wish to make a bargain with you, doctor,” said the young man. “ I think the girl I am to marry will make a first-rate wife. If you will wait a year for your lee, and she turns out as I think she will, I'll then give you fifty dollars.” They agreed; the young couple were married, and the incident passed from the doctor’s mind. At. the end of a year, at the same time in the evening, the young man called again. The doctor did not recognize him at first. “Do you not remember the bar gain we made whVn you married me a year ago ?” “ Oh yes,” replied the doctor. “ Well,” said the young man, “ she is twice as good as I thought she was. There’s one hundred dollars for yon.” Exactly the opposite nt this is the following: A clergyman in one of the Hudson River towns united a German couple in marriage. When the knot was tied, the bridegroom said, “Dominie, I’ve got no monish, but I’ll send you von leetle pig.” It was done, and the circumstance was forgotten by , the clergyman. Two years aft or ward for the first time since the marriage ceremony was performed. “Dominie,” said the German, “ you remembers you married me, and I gave you von leetle pig?” “Yes.” “Veil, if you’ll unmarry me, I vill give you two leetle pigs.”— Editor's Drawer in Harper's for April. SUBTERRANEAN WATER COURSES. —lt often happens in years of great drought, that the waters of the Dan ube, near its source, nearly altogether disappear in the fissures and holes in the bed of.lhe river. The proprietors of works situated further down the stream have frequently closed these subterrean passages to avoid losses of water. Rut other manufacturers owning works on the Aaeh, a tribu tary of Lake Constance, a few miles distant from the Danube, and at an elevation some !50 metres less, con tended that these holes and fissures m the bed of the Danube open inf o water passages connecting with the source of the Aach; hence they ap plied to the courts for an injunction to prevent the stopping of these out lets. To test the truth of this theory of the Aaeh water supply, 10,000 kilogrammes of common salt was thrown into the Danube at the point where it gets lost. This salt reap peared m the water of the source of the Aaeh. Another experiment con sisted in mixing fiuoresceinc with the ' Danube water at (he same point. On ; On October 9, at 5 i>. m., about fifty litres of this dyest uiF was poured into one of the openings in the river bed. On the morning of October )2. the' observers stationed at the source of the Aach perceived the coloration of the water, which was of an intense green. The color grew more intense till the evening of October 12, and disappeared about:s i\ m of the fifth. >■" think.’’ said a husband, in a mild form >t rebuke to his wife, " that wom<-u are possessed bv the devil ?” *• 1 es.” was the answer, “as soon as they are married.” —The young man who boasted he could marry any girl he pleased, found that he couldn’t please anv. B£C£PES. Grease remove grease spots from worsted or woolen goods, rub with dry magnesia and a woolen cloth. Soft Molasses (Jake. —One cup of molasses, one-half cup of butter or lard, one egg, half a cup of sour milk, one teaspoonful of saleratus, half a tablespoonful of ginger; mix soft with flour.— Mrs. B. Ginger Snaps. —Two cups of mo lasses, one-half cup of sugar, a heap ing cup of lard, one tablespoonful of ginger, one-half teaspoonful of salt, one and a ball* teaspoonfuls of salera tus, half a cup of warm water; mix stiff enough to roll out thin. — Mrs. B. Gkili Sauce. —Twelve large ripe tomatoes, one large onion, four red peppers, and chop all together fine; two cups of sugar, one tablespoonful of salt, one tablespoonful of vinegar, one teaspoonful of ground allspice, one teaspoonful of ground cloves; boil until quite thick; then bottle and seal. To Keep Lemons Eresh. —Lemons may be kept sweet and fresh for weeks by placing them in a clean, tight cask And covering with water. Keep m a cool place and change the water every other day. To those living where it ys not convenient to procure fresh lemons, the above is worth remembering. Lemon Pudding. —Nine eggs, the whites beaten to a stiff froth, two lemony, the grated rind and juice, one pound of sugar, three ounces or a little less of butter creamed, one pint of milk and one and a half even ta blcspoonfuls of flour. Beat the yolks and sugar until very light, add the butter, with which the flour has been smoothly mixed, then the lemons, the milk and the eggs, which must be beaten in slowly, gently and thor oughly. Bake in deep, paste-lined plates, and put it in a quite hot oven, reducing the hc*at after the first eight or ten minutes. Sweet Potato Pudding. —To two coffee-cupfuls of mashed sweet potato (boiled) add one tea-cupful sugar, one tea-cupful butter, four eggs, one tea cupful sweet cream, one teaspoonful cinnamon, one grated nutmeg, one . lemon Jcxtracti. and a pinch of soda dissolved m steaspoon- ’ ful of water. Beat the eggs light, add sugar and butter rubbed to a cream, stir all together into the mashed potato while hot. Cover a deep plate with puff paste, and pour in the mixture. Bake in a moderate oven; when done, cover the top with slicesof fruit marmalade, and sprinkle thickly with granulated sugar. Lidded Cucumbers in Summer. — It is often desirable to have new pickles in summer time, and after sliced cucumbers have.ceased to be a novelty, the small ones pickled are an agreeable change. They can bo made at short, notice by the follow ing method : Cover 100 smail cucum bers with a pint of salt, and add a small piece of alum. Then pour boil ing water over them, and keep closely covered a few hours. Take them out, wipe dry and lay in jars w ith a few red peppers, allspice, a tablespoonful of mustard seed, pepper corn and cloves. These coudiments may be varied or changed to suit the taste. Then pour over the whole sufficient hot vinegar to cover the pickles.— When.. old, they will be ready for the table and as green and fresh looking as when picked. Cucumbers picked early in the morning may be made ready for tea the same afternoon, which is often a desirable considera tion to houstdvives. Pickles made thus will keep any length of time desired, if not eaten. Oi*en t Air Exercise.— A proper amount of exercise in the open air is no doubt essential to health. But when the exercise is too severe, or too long protracted, producing ex treme fatigue, the remedy produces disease instead of preventing it. Sud den death sometimes follows upon violent exercise. A case is recorded in Boston in which a young man after several hours’ rapid running on a by cicle fell dead. In base ball, cricket, polo, and other athletic sports, danger links in the pleasant excitement. — Walking is probably, the most effi cient method of securing the benefit of exercise ; though even this may be overdone, and is overdone when the walker, after his turn at pedestrian ism, is. conscious of unwonted lasei tude.