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WITH THE JOKER. ADJECTIVES THAT BLISTER. Lovely Girl— She lms a lathlike tig lire.” “Yes, and a plaster complexion. ’• Chicago Record. the last man WINS. “They say the secret of success is tenacity of purpose.” “Of course; if you hold on long enough competitors die oft".’ Chicago Record. the horseless age. “Money makes the mare go,” he quoted. “How dreadfully out of date you are,” returned the other. “These are the days of automobiles.” A SLAVE TO DUTY. Employer—Why didn’t you come when I rang? Office Boy—Because I didn’t hear the bell. Employer Hereafter, when you don't hear the bell, you must come and tell me so. Office Boy—Y”es, sir,” was the duti ful answer.—New Orleans Picayune. The Doctor—Bear up. I must 101 l you the worst- you can’t possibly re cover. The Client—That’s a pity, for if I’d lived a bit longer I should have come into a fortune; as it is, I haven't a. penny to pay you with, doctor. The Doctor—Well, now, don’t give up hope. We’ll try to mend you. We’ll try. —Illustrated Bits. A PLEASANT POSE. “Emeline, you are not happy. What makes you pretend that you are?” “Because artificial happiness is lots better than none at all.” —San Fran cisco Examiner. LOOKING FOR FUN. “Jim,” said one of two young men from beyond the suburbs, who were taking tlreir first ride on a lake steamer and had been watching with interest the seesaw motion of the walking-beam, “the next time this end comes down grab hold of it and stop it.” “What for?” asked Jim. “To plague the engineer.”—Chicago Tribune. IN LUCK. “Y’ou think you know all about wo men, don’t you?” asked the newly married boarder. “No,” replied the savage bachelor, “and I am mighty glad I don’t.” —In- dianapolis Journal. # NOT MENTIONED. “Everybody seems to have been men tioned for the office except you,” ob served the sympathizing friend. “Yes,” replied the disappointed poli tician. “My name is Pants.” “Then, of course,” soothingly re joined the other, “you might expect to be among the unmentionables.” And silence like a poultice fell. — Chicago Tribune. AN UNJUST DISCRIMINATION. “This idea of making you take out a license for a dog Is all wrong,” said the dog owner. “It is unjust discrimi nation.’” “Oh, I don’t know!” answered the man who had just come from the coun ty clerk’s office. “In most places you have to take out al icense for a wife, too.” “But you don’t have to renew it every year,” returned the dog owner in an aggrieved tone. —Chicago Post. LESSONS IN FINANCE. "What is conscience money, pa?” “Conscience money? It is the fifty cents your mother leaves in my pocket when she cleans out all the rest.”— Chicago Record. Mr. G. V. Tillman, manager for the Polk Distillery Company, whose tur pentine farm is located east of the river, has put a large force of men to work boxing trees. About 40 men ar rived last week from Georgia and an other 40 or 50 will soon come down. Mr. Tillman says that the trees boxed now will be ready to be dipped in February and by that time the still and •verything will be in readiness for op ■*. ation. Several other “stills” are soon to be opened up in various parts of the \>unty. A Mr. Rice, of Georgia, will operate one in the northwestern part • !' the county, and another is soon to be ■farted in the vicinity of Haines City, he turpentine business is booming, id all available lands in South Flori i .are being taken up as fast as they :n lie secured in suitable sized tracts. Bartow Courier-Informant. IHH They are always the best. jpg BHH Do not accept any submi- MB |||B tute—buy none but Ferry’s. HSI 1 jgj Sold by all dealers. Write for Mb *;H?f H the ’99 Seed Annual—free. vM? I D M.FERRY & CO.,Detroit,Mich. ffiMßj} KRAUSERS’ LIQUID EXTRACT OF SMOKE. tftft Made from hickory wood. Cheaper, cleaner, ■ I sweeter, and surer than the old way. Send for M. circular. K. KRAU&KK & Bit©., Milton, Pa IGHTNING WELL MACHTi > THE STA N D A_R DP TEAM PUMPS, AIR LIFTS, .i, J ASOLINE ENGINES SITE FOR CIRCULAR IE AMERICAN WELL WORKS URORA,ILL - CHICAGO.- DALLAS.TEX Cfclohester’s English Diamond Brand. iENNYROYAL PILLS Original and Only Genuine. JL safe, always reliable. i.adies ask ~J Druggist for Chichester a English Dui-JfFK A ■li(n..y> rriond Brand in lied and Gold nietallic W'lf'i Other. Refuse dangerous sulstitu- V ,-J iwGons and imitations. At Druggists, or B®°“ • L W i.i stampß for particulars, testimon.als and t m m “ Relief for Ladles,” in fetter, by return V LT Mall. 10,000 Testimonials. Name Paper, / v’L ich r *'T Cos era leal Cos., Mn and I otj Sq mwj ’d by mil Local Druggist*. PIIILAIIA., feO-75 BOX RAIN COAT A REGULAR $5.00 WATER- $0 7E j£& PROOF MACKINTOSH for $Zi/J W SEMP NOMOHEY. £} “! state your height and weight, state number of inches around body at breast, taken over h vest under coat, close up under arms, and we will send you this coat by express, iWwmltt'imw/ f® ('-0.D., suliject lo examination. Ex < % amine and try it on at your nearest | 5| express office, and If found exactly ‘G V.j>, j ). 'i'/Sph ns represented and the most wonderful XiSpP/lu* you ever saw or heard of, and ' Wm£ equal lo any coat you can buy for f W $5.00, pay the express agent 01 H SPECIAL OFFER PRICE, $2.75, and \ ■ lx express charges. , . $L \/;rJf THIS MACKINTOSH is latest 1900 iTf* e y style, easy fitting, made irom heavy waterproof, lan color, genuine Davis Covert mWWMm Cloth; full length, double breasted, Kini Sager velvet collar, fancy plaid lining, waterproof sewed seams. Suitable for mW’iX&mi both Rain or Overcoat, and guaranteed WwuMMVt GREATEST VALVE ever offered by us or ®:' * !' • an v other house. For Free Cloth Sample* of Men’s Mackintoshes up to $5 00, Ea If rii;.* and Made-to-Measure Suits and. Over coats at from $5 r 0 to 810.00, write for FREE S tMPLE ROOK No, 9<‘K, Address, SEARS, ROEBUCK & Cos. lno.) CHICACO. (Sear., Roebuck & Cos. are thoroughly reliable.—Editor.! THE FLORIDA AGRICULTURIST. Florida East Coast Ry. TIME TABLE MO. 21, IN EFFECT SEPT. 10. 1899 * *- fcotJTH BOUND (Read Down, NORTH BOUND (Read Up. ! To 89 XT _ per ' ffQ No ill £‘}J STAWONS. |o6p 5 20a LeaVo Jacksonville Arrive 7 30p 10 55a 816 plO 80a Arrive St. Augustine Leave 6 20p 0 45a 6 cOp 10 86a Leave St. Augustine Ari’ive 6 lop 9 40a 6 67p 11 10a Hastings Leave 5 36p 9 04a "sß7p l l 55a Arrive...... Palatka Leave 4 oOp 8 20a 5 45p ll 00a Leave Palatka Arrive 5 40p 910 .. Arrive ... San Mateo . . Leave ~7~80 , ? &0a Leave San Mateo .TTArrive 7 35p ..... *2lop H 80a Leave East Palatka Leave 5 20p 8 48a 7 48p 12 66p *• m Ormond * “ 347 p 7 13f 7 65p 108 p M ..... ..Daytona “ 8 36p 7 Ola 805 p 1 lßp ** Port Orange “ 326 p 6 51a 8 26p 165 p ** NewSmyrnti “ 8 05p 6 30a 851 p 222 p “ Oak H:ll * 1 22p 05a 630 p 8 00p “ Titusville “ 1 45p 5 80a 8 80p " City Point “ 1 15p .. 8 41p " Rockledge “ 104 p.. ..... 6 41p ** Eden “ 10 05a 646 p “ Jensen “ 10 00a T'' •-• - J 6 56p " Stuart “ 9 50a / h S 7 26p ** Hobe Sound J “ 9 19a f f ' 1■; 7 39p " West Jupiter “ 9 07a ISTTSa 818 p " West Palm Beach “ 8 33a 11 3Up 124a 839 p “ Boynton “ 8 06a 10 26p 1 49a 8 48p " Delray *• 7 57a 10 02p 4 02a 9 87p " Fort Lauderdale “ 7 07a 7 45p Jl4a 10 2Gp " Lemon City “ 6 24a 5 55p 45a 10 30p Arrive Miami “ 6 15a 5 30p BETWEEN NEW SMYRNA AND ORANGE CITY JUNCTION. jfre. 3 No. 1 ~ STATIONS. No, 2 No. 4 8 05p 10 10a Lv New Smyrna .. Ar 12 55p 5 50p 8 60p 11 21a “ Lake Helen Lv 12 lOp 4 40p 4 02p 11 39a “ Orange City 12 OOn 4 24p 4 05p 11 45a Ar Orange City Junction 11 55a 4 lop All trains between New Smyrna and Orange City Junction Daily except Sunday. BETWEEN TITUSVILLE A.VD >ANFoR . fto.ll, STATIONS. INo.M 7 00a Lv Titusville Ar } 2op 7 13a! “ Mims Lv 1 l2p 8 28a " Osteen “ 1157a 8 60a 1 " Enterprise " 1135a 6 00a “ Enterprise Junction " 1125a ,9 80a Ar Sanford “ H 00a All trains between Titusville and Sanford Daily except Sunday. KEY WEST AND HAVANA. TEE steamers of the Florida East Coast Steamship Company are appointed to sail as follows! STEAMSHIP COCOA. SOUTHBOUND. Leave Miami Sundays and Wednesdays; Arrive Key West Mondays and Thurs days. Leave Key West Mondays and Thursdays; Arrive Havana Tuesdays and Fridays. > NORTHBOUND. Leave Havana Tuesdays and Fridays; Arrive Key West Tuesdays and Fridays. Leave Key West Tuesdays and Fridays; Arrive Miami Wednesdays and Sat ’relays. Departures from Miami will be made soon as possible after arrival of t ain 35 on sailing days. These Time Tables show the times at which trains and boats may be expected to arrive and depart from the several stations and ports, but their arrival or departure at the times Stated is not guaranteed, nor does the Company bold itself responsible for any delay or any consequences arising therefrom. For copy of local time card call at 226 West Bay Street, Jacksonville, or address J. P. BECKWITH, Traffic Manager. _ J. D. RAHN ER, A. G. P. A. OCEAN STEAMSHIP CO., “SAVANNAH LINE.” Florida to New York, Florida to Boston, a short Rail Ride to Savannah, Thence a short sea voyage. Fast Freig-M and Luxurious Passenger Route to New York. Boston and the East. Sailing from Savannah: Four ships each week to New York, and two to Boston. Fast Freight and Luxurious Passenger Route to New York, Boston and the East. Sailing from Savannah: Four ships each week to New York, and two to Boston All ticket agents and hotels are supplied with sailing schedules. Write for general in formation, sailing schedules, Stateroom reservations, or on, ~ n E. H. HINTON, Traffic Manager, Savannah, Ga.. WALTER TIAWKINS, Florida Passen ger Agent, 224 W. Bay Street, Jacksonville, FW. W. J. FARRELL, Sol. Frt. Agt.