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j. fTwallace, PUBLISHER - AND - PROPRIETOR Pabllihrd at Winslow, Arizona Ocean greyhounds can always be dis tinguished by having few of the char acteristics of ordinary barks. Sir Edwin Arnold has seen the “Light of Asia” and has married her. Other visitors to Asia will be disappointed. Emperor William seems to have pretty well used up the German consti * tutlon and is now running things on the by-laws. How many statesmen start to climb the ladder of fame direct, and the first thing shift it to merely get on the fence? A Boston woman who died recently had more than $24,000 stowed away in her bustle. Pretty good financial back ing for a woman. A Boston typewriter who advertises for a position says that she is “neither pretty nor frivolous.” Probably that is why she is advertising. A New York wedding guest who in sisted on kissing the bride the other night was shot by the bridegroom. But he was half shot at the outset. Corn has been cuggested as a na tional floral emblem, but under the cir cumstances wheat seems more fitting. In this case the grain suggests the flour. The Grand Army, which reached high-water mark in 1893 with a total of 403,024 members, has now decreased to 319,450. It is still a great, but a van ishing, host. A Western preacher puts it this way to his congregation: “When I look at my congregation I ask, Where are the poor? and when I count the collection I ask, Where are the rich?” A Canadian court has decided the val ue of a kiss to be twenty cents, utterly forgetful of the fact than when young folks go to court, under the right cir cumstances, kisses are priceless. It is announced that the French will attempt to build a steamer to break ail Atlantic records. If the French are as fast on the sea as they are said to be on land the records probably will have to go. _—=== The Chicago woman who married her divorced husband recently for the third time has convinced him now that she can get free from him whenever she wants to do so, and that lesson prob ably will not be lost on him. It is about time for the papers to quit caricaturing Uncle Sam as a tall, gaunt, ungainly, ill-dressed person, with loud breeches and necktie. He is not as green as represented and the daily re prints are monotonous and annoying. * * Another United States ship has peace fully slid upon a mudbnuk. If the sup ply of ships hold out every shoal, reef and sandbar in our waters will be per manently, if somewhat expensively, in dicated to mariners by the presence thereon of a vessel of the new navy. The late Henry W. Sage, the million aire philanthropist, was the founder of the Sage public library in Bay City, Mich. It is needless to add that there are no public libraries roaming around loose founded by Russell Sage, who is a millionaire, but not of philanthropic persuasion. Try to keep clear of prejudice, and be willing to alter any opinion you may hold when further light breaks upon your mind. The man is either clever beyond precedent or weak be yond measure who never sees reasons to change his Judgment of men and things. Every charitable organization should be an organization chiefly for the pur pose of giving employment to people out of work. There is always a great deal of work to be done, of one sort or another, and the self-respecting poor are always ready to earn their bread. Ev erywhere, idleness should be discour aged. The London newspaper that has been dropping the letter “u” In words like labor and color and spelling “program” without the “me," is now overwhelmed with protests from readers against this surrender to a demoralizing American ism in spelling. Such butchery of the English tongue, they argue, should never be condoned. We are pained to learn by the London Vanity Fair that “the queen empress” is dissatisfied with the course of the United States and “holds almost pessi mistic views in regard to the stability and future of the republic.” After that we suppose the United States might as well put up its shutters and go out of business. If Mrs. Victoria disapproves of us there is little use in trying to keep a good opinion of ourselves. A Parisian who suspects that the food or drink which he has purchased is adulterated, can have the article anal j'zed free of cost at the municipal la boratory. If Impurities are found, the city undertakes the prosecution of the tradesman, and after conviction the of fender is not only liable to fine and im prisonment, but may be obliged to dis play in bis window a sign reading, “Convicted of Adulteration.” There is room for similar law in America. While the labor market in the manu facturing and commercial States is dis tressingly overcrowded and in the older Northwestern States is abundantly stocked, there is a renewed and earnest demand for Immigration in the South west and the far Northwest. Immi grants In great numbers are continually arriving at Atlantic ports—chiefly at New York —and most of them settle in, or subside into, the slum sections of Eastern cities. These frequent train hold-ups, each more audacious and startling than any which preoeded, Indicate tlat railway managers and local authorities alike have failed to take the necessary steps to put an end to this form of highway rob Wry. From stealing ati aln to steal ing v a railway is only one step, and .t tie railway companies of the West want possession of their roads they j will soon be compelled to adopt some sensible and effective method of pro tecting their trains. Machines keep themselves in power j by «r?ving the people a lot of trouble. A ; democracy calls upon every man to da his share of government. Political war fare is a chronic condition. It is not a personally perilous contest, but it in ; volves labor, and the people send ‘‘sub- j stitut?s” and the substitutes are the “machines.” To break the machine in volves trouble, and It often holds pow- or years simply because the laziness ol the people is slowly overcome. Since the people are the source of all power, It Is no use to blink at their responsibil ity for its abuse. Thanks to the encouragement which Emperor William has accorded to the practice of dueling, it Is now being adopted by the medical profession in Germany. A couple of physicians sum moned in consultation became Involved at the bedside of a patient in so violent a dispute with regard to the character of the malady and of Its treatment that they concluded to fight the matter out.. The conflict took place on the outskirts of Bonn, on the Rhine, one of the com batants, Dr. Fisher, receiving a bullet in the chest, which killed him in stantly. The heat of competition and the overcrowding of trades and professions is the subject of anxious consideration among young men and their well-wish- j ers; but the fact remains that every where are places calling for the satis factory occupant. In a large town in one of the populous Middle States three congregations are vainly searching for acceptable pastors; two young doctors, returned from careful instruction and i practice in foreign hospitals, have, in spite of dire predictions to the con- j trary, built up large practices; and a manufacturer in the same town de clares that he has two positions of five thousand dollars’ salary each which he is anxious to fill. Nor is the situation in this town unique. Mediocrity is not wanted, but in every line of work ex ceptional ability is in Increasing de mand. A great revolution in warfare will bt effected if anything comes of the new French rifle which discharges vitriol in stead of bullets. Heroes do not fear death, but naturally shrink from disfig urement. The Duke of Wellington, we are told in the Latin Grammar (comic), would “walk among the cannon-balls, him not caring one blow;” but even the great duke would hardly have exhibit ed the same indifference to rifles squirt ing vitriol. No decent-looking soldier will be got to face them; they will have to be approached backwards. This will entail a new system of drill. Think of a whole regiment charging back ward! If both forces are possessed of this novel weapon, the spectacle will be doubly entertaining. Our ideas will not only be transformed, but inverted. When our warriors return, says Jame« Payn, they will no longer exhibit with pride the wounds they have received In front —quite the reverse; the more be hind the better. ■■ - In case you haven’t enough to worry aoout, here is something: Astrono mers are now watching with increased interest the big sun spot which has been in great activity for the last two years, and are speculating on the out- , come. It is said the molten mass is likely at any time to burst from the sun’s surface. Prof. Siverimus J. Cor rigan, director of the Goodsell Obser vatory of Carleton University, says: “A new planet may at any instant break away from the sun, and the ter rific explosion which will necessarily accompany this break away will pro duce a great disturbance of the entire universe, but particularly of the earth, perhaps completely smashing it, and surely destroying all animal life on land as well as in the waters. The re sult of my investigations on this sub ject indicate that the earth is closely approaching a critical epoch in its career; yet the day or the hour of visitation ‘no man knoweth,’ but these results have convinced me that it is imminent. Look to the sun. Neither is this tremendous disturbance of the earth and the destruction of all life upon it completely unprecedented. A similar detachment of solar matter by the same means Is known by scientists to have occurred 23,000,000 years ago, a period simultaneous with the pa laeozlc age, at which time all animal 1 and vegetable life then existing on the fact of the earth, was completely crushed out.” Os course all this is non -1 sense, but it will do to worry about. i Deny Victoria's Rig t. ■ There is in England a Thames Valley Legitimist Club. Its peculiar mission is to uphold the right of the Stuart family to the throne of Great Britain. To the members, not Queen Victoria, but a German princess, is their rightful sov ereign. The club does nothing mors dangerous that to pass futile resolu i tions, which are reported in the news papers as practical jokes. A new asso elation has just sprung up, which calls 1 Itself the Society of the Red Carnation. ; and seeks to cut into this Jacobite busi - ness. The council of the Thames Val - ley Legitimist Club has gravely resolv ? ed that the new society is “unneces j sary,” and that the advanced program - is bound to create “divisions and dls - gust among all true Legitimists and - Jacobites” and to bring the cause intc , derision. The speedy dissolution of th< s intruder is advised by the council of tht original patentees. Too Many Pounds. i- Young Wife (tenderly)—What’s th« r matter, my dear? Don’t you like pound y cake? t Husband (hesitatingly)—Y-e-s, love; i- but 1 don’t care for ten-pound cake.— [. New York Weekly. y t New York Sunday Fishermen. , It is estimated that more than 75,000 j fishermen go out of New York every Sunday, and that they spend on an av erage of $2 each on the sport. supreme in the household the chances * are she will get made and storm. s The lower the gas Ls turned th# y brighter U seems for lovers. Mgll, 1 I—IBM CHAPTER I. She was a bonnie lassie, and many ! an admiring glance fell upon her as she stood on the Broomielew that beautiful summer morning, with the sunlight falling around her and light ing up her golden hair. The scene was one of bustle and activity. Enormous vessels, almost countless in number, and from nearly every nation under the sun, were busy loading or unloading. The great quay was crowded with pleasure seekers going “doun the wat ter,” and the Clyde steamers—the finest fleet in the world—were pulling out from their docks thronged with Glas gow citizens bound for the many de lightful resorts of which the Clyde alone can boast. The subject of my sketch stood apart from the surging crowd, and was look ing wistfully into the dark eyes of a 1 young sailor who had just sprung ashore to bid her a last good-by. The i great ship in which he was about to ■ Pad lay tugging at her moorings. She ■ was bound for Sydney, and the usual excitement at the going out of such a : fessel prevailed. Young Colin Camp bell was the quartermaster on the magnificent steamer. He was proud |bf his position, and would guard it with the utmost fidelity. How hand some and brave he looked as he stood beside the fair young girl, who had ; come to see him sail! His dark-blue, neatly-fitting sailor suit set off the fine figure to advantage; the deep sailor col lar rolled away from the bronzed neck, the dark curls clustered thickly round his shapely head, where rested the Jaunty sailor cap, with the name of the vessel inscribed in gilt letters around the band. He was, indeed, the typical Scotch sailor in all the glory of young manhood. Janet loved him in her shy, self-contained, Scottish fashion, and Colin understood her. The look on her flower-like face and in her beautiful eyes, where the shadows were lurking at present, expressed what the red lips fain would utter. “Wish me God speed, Janet,” said Colin as lie took her white dimpled hands in his strong, warm grasp. “If i we have fair weather and a prosperous voyage I will return by Hallowe’en, and we will keep the happy time to gether.” “Ay, Colin,” sobbed the girl, “but something tells me you will never come back; the voyage is long, and the sea ls treacherous and deep, and I feel as if I would never look into your dear face again.” “Keep a brave heart, Janet,” said Co lin, “and never fear; God guides the mariner into ports of peace in times of danger, and when I am pacing the lonely de<?k with the stars for my com panions my thoughts will be of you; | when the storm is at its height, and I the waves lash about in their fury, j thoughts of you will comfort me, and your presence will never forsake me.” “All hands on .duty!” shouted the captain. A hurried kiss, a last good by, and he was gone. Janet stood alone, weeping silently. Sweethearts and wives are waving a tearful good j by as the gallant ship is cleared from her moorings and swings slowly round, and is steaming majestically down the river. The loved ones on the shore gaze tearfully after the departing ves sel, and at length sadly disperse t* their homes to watch and pray for thi ship’s safe return. CHAPTER 11. Donald Cameron was a retired sea captain who lived in a beautiful villa in Dumbarton, near the banks of the Clyde. For years he had followed the sea, and many an interesting yarn he could spin of shipwreck and adventure, and of the different countries he had seen. He had grown tired of “knock ing about," as he termed it, and be lieved in “reefing his own topsails,” let the wind blow high or low. Janet was his only child, and his idol. Her mftth i er died when she was but a wee bit lassie, but kind Aunty Jean had taken the “mitherless bairn” to her heart and had carefully watched over her lovely charge; and now the three lived hap pily together in their beautiful villa overlooking the Cylde. Captain Cameron could not have I chosen a fairer spot for a residence. A few miles above was prosperous, ener | getic Glasgow, with its miles and miles , of shipping from all over the world. . The fine fleet of Clyde steamers daily went by, thronged with tourists in search of scenes of beauty and cooler ; air. All thi° Donald could see while he sat on the pebbly beach in the long, bright summer months, smoking his pipe and watching stately vessels to and from distant lands. His own town was full of historical interest to visi tors. There stood the rock of Dum : barton, rugged and grand, upholding fts formidable fortress. In the keep of the castle might have been seen the sword of the dauntless Wallace. This is where he struck the first blow for in jured, unhappy Scotland, and from the 3 summit of this stupendous roelc he tore ' down the dragon of England and ' planted the lion of Scotland in its • ! stead. Below is the peaceful valley, E and a splendid panorama is here spread £ before you of beautiful, pastoral scenes, encircling hills dotted here and there with white villas and bouuie green woods, with misty mountain i tops away in the background. 1 This is where Donald Cameron had chosen to live the remainder of his ; days with his lovely daughter Janet, - the pride of Dumbarton. Janet was the village belle, and none could compare with her in beauty and goodness. She was sought by many a braw lad, but G could not remember the time when she j> did not love him, for they had grown ’• | up together, the handsome, sturdy lad and the winsome, blue-eyed lass. Colin loved the sea and early chose it for his 3 vocation. The sea had a fascination i for Jauet, and she had long vowed within herself that a sailor's wife she would be as soou as she was old enough i to marry. The days flew rapidly by. Colin had been gone since July. It was drawing near the end of October, and he had promised to be back for Hallowe'en, a festival that is observed throughout all Scotland. This is the night when the fairies come and dance on the green sward and the lads and lassies pry in to the future. Poor Janet, she was doomed to disappointment, and grief. Hallowmas came, with its games and charms, and the merry children march ing through the streets with their can dles and custoeks; but Colin did not come, nor could any tidings be learned of the vessel long past due. CHAPTER 111. “Hallowe’en, a nieht o’ teen, 1- A candle and a custock; Doondueks has gotten a wife And they ca’ her Jenny Lustoek!” This was the shrill cry that ushered in the eve of All Hallowmas, or the Festival of All Saints, on this 31st day of October, and the merry children went tripping through the streets, sing ing gaily with their candles and cus tocks and gay-colored lanterns. And truly the fairies were not more spright ly that these happy children in their innocent glee keeping their Hallowe'en. Bright lights shone from the win dows of Captain Cameron’s villa. Twice had the purple bloom been on the heather; twice had the daisies blossom ed on the lea, but no tidings had ever been heard of Colin. Janet mourned for him in secret. The roses in her cheek had faded. Her step was less sprightly than of yore and her happy song has ceased. Her father had ask ed in her young companions and a few of his own cronies for this night of all nights. He wanted to see his “lass,” as he fondly called her happy; she was too young to give way to sorrow. And Janet tried her best to please him. Fires were burning brightly In the grates and lights shone brilliantly from the windows. The great kitchen was the scene of merriment. In one end was the large fireplace. A kettle hung over the glowing coals singing a merry tune. In the middle of the floor stood a large tub filled nearly to the brim with clear, cold water; beside it stood a hamper full of rosy-eheeked apples. Around these were grouped young men and maidens fair to see waiting their turn to duck for apples. On the white tables was the great bowl of the steam ing toddy—no wonder the kettle sang! Cuirant loaf, farls of oatcake and a big “whang” cut from a big cheese graced the board, which, together with the toddy, helped constitute the good cheer. The merrymaking uow began in ear nest. Aunt Jean brought out a bag full of nuts and a great scramble en sued to see who should burn theirs first. Their fates were soon decided by that charm, and then away they all scampered to try something else. Janet tried to be happy with the rest, but lov ing thoughts of Colin would creep into her miud; if she only knew whether he were still in the land of the living or rolling at the bottom of the sea! “Let us try some charms,” said a young lad. “Come, Janet, and help us pu’ the stocks.” Out they go hand in hand, with eyes tightly closed, and slowly grope their way to the kailyard, pulling the first they come to. Some are tall, some short, some are sweet, some sour, some have lots of earth hanging to the roots—indicative of a large fortune. With shout and laugh ter they scampered back to the house to place their kailrunts above the door. One wanders off alone to try some spe cial charm. Meg goes to the glass to eat an apple, but hearing a gruesome noise somewhere, she starts back in fear. “Let us sow the hempseed!” cried Willie. “Ye daurna,” said Jock. The bag of hempseed is brought out and each one takes a handful and with beating heart and shaking limbs goes to some lonely spot to sow it. A little bit of the Scotch superstition clings to Janet. She had the hempseed in her mind and resolved to try it. She has no fear as she goes into the garden and rakes the ground. She scatters the seed, and as it falls to the ground . she repeats to herself—“Hempseed, I sow thee; hempseed, I sow thee; and him that ls to be my true love, come after me and pu’ thee.” She looked over her left shoulder and saw some one at the end of the garden in the at titude of pulling hemp. Janet stood as if petrified for a moment, then uttered i one long scream which brought the old • folks running out of the house, to find Janet in the arms of a man. , “Losh pity me!” said the captain, s “what’s a’ this?” “It’s the deil!” ex claimed an old lady in tones of horror, i “Guld preserve us; it’s Colin Campbell or his ghost,” said Aunt Janet. It was Indeed Colin in the flesh, with the same : lovelight dancing in his “e’e.” What a welcome he received. They “ dragged him into the cheerful kitchen, > seated him by the fireside, where they gathered round him while he related to ' them the story of the adventure and ■ dangers he encountered during the two 1 years he had been away. ; , CHAPTER IV. [ Colin had arrived in Sydney all safe. [ They had shipped their cargo, and were > homeward bound, when nearing the - Cape of Good Hope one of the storms peculiar to that lititiide suddenly burst | upon them. Every man was called on i deck, but before they had time to , shorten sail the storm had reached the ; height of its fury. The captain shout > ed his commands, but not a word could > be heard in the roar of the tempest. : Darkness and terror reigned, a vivid ? flash of lightning would now and then i leap forth from a volume of black l cloud and light up the ghastly faces of i the sailors in the shrouds. Buffeted s and tossed about for hours the ship at i last sprang a leak. The pumps being l useless the lifeboats were lowered and * passengers and crew jumped in and i pushed away from the sinking vessel. It was well they did for in a few mo- ments she whirled and sank before them. After the storm had ceased Colin and some of the crew found themselves alone in a small boat without food or covering, drifting aimlessly about on a trackless sea. Tortured with the pangs of hunger, and no hope of rescue, death seemed to stare them in the face, when on the third day a ship was sighted which seemed to be bearing down on them. Nearer and nearer it came and soon they were hailed by friendly voices and t *ken on board, where they were soon made comfortable. The ves sel was bound for Geelong and thither our hero had to go. The wind being against them it was many days before they arrived in port. Tool- Colin! He was in a strange land without money, clothes or shelter. He met a party of young men going from Geelong to the gold diggings, who, after hearing his story, provided him with money and invited him to go with them and share their fortunes; so, purchasing a few necssary articles he started at once with his newly-found friends for the region of gold. After days of travel through the bush they reached the place in safety, staked out their claims and proceeded to busi ness. They worked diligently from day to day, but fortune seldom smiled. Week after week rolled on, and all they found of the precious dust was only a few ounces. Colin, unused to such hardships and pining for home and Janet, fell ill of a fever and for many weks his life was despaired of. Ilis friends nursed him as well as they could in such a rough place, and had the satisfaction of seeing him restored to health once more. He again resumed his duties at the mine, digging and pick ing in his search for gold. One day as he was working busily he struck what he thought was a large stone and broke his pick; stooping down to investigate he saw something glitter. With his spade he dug around it; and there be fore him lay a great shining nugget of gold. How they rejoiced in the little hut that night! Their dreams were at last realized; their fortunes were made. As soon as they could they sold their claim at a splendid figure, and with their precious nugget started for Syd ney, where they disposed of it, divided tlm proceeds, and with Joyful hearts sailed for home. And there he was, stalwart in form and bronzed In fea ture, but the same true-hearted lad. He had seen Janet go into the garden, and guessing what she was about to do, resolved to follow her. The Hallowe’en ended happily for Janet after all, and a prayer of thankfulness arose in her heart to the One who had guided her loved one safely back to this quiet ha ven of rest. She will never repeat the sowing of hempseed to see what the fu ture has in store for her, but will al ways cherish in loving remembrance, and celebrate with right good cheer, the night that brought Colin back to love and happiness. YOUNG PREACHERS WANTED. The Decreasing Demand for Veternno in the Pulpit. “What shall we do with our old men?” is the question that is puzzling the venerable bishop that presided over the Rock River conference of the Meth odist church In Chicago. Time was when the question that kept the clergy sitting up nights was, “What shall we do with our boys?” But the boys seem to be capable of taking care of them selves. Indeed, the boys are in great demand in the pulpits of the Methodist church if any one may judge of the re quests sent to Bishop Merrill by nu merous churches asking for “a young preacher.” The popular desire to have the bread of life broken by the beard less graduates of the theological school Is crowding the old men to the wall. The venerable defenders of the faith who have grown gray in the service of the Master, and tvlio influence men by the power of strong personality, must be relegated to satisfy the fashionable religious fad for young preachers, fresh from the hothouses of the theo logical “conservatories.” While It is true that the young preachers must have a chance to read their profound dissertations to some one, the sudden clamor for the dis placement of the veterans cannot be regarded as a healthful religious symp tom. Must the demand for young preachers be attributed to a desire for didactic lectures on all sorts of topics outside of the gospel or to a growing appetite for sensational preaching? Is the “yellow kid” style of preaching crowding the grand old gospel sermons to the rear? We hesitate to believe that there Is any taste for “yellow kid” sermonizing in this conservative church, which lias exerted such a wonderful Influence on the citizenship of the new republic. Surely the gospel as It was preached by Bishop Simpson and is preached to day by Moody has not lost its hold on the Methodist church. This is not written in disparagement of the young preachers. But to say that the Methodist church prefers young preachers to the rugged old defenders of the faith, who preach the simple gospel pure and undefiled, and who know its power to uplift men, Is to confess that modern congregations want intellectual or sensational enter tainment instead of the gospel sermons that recognize man as a sinner and In n<>ed of redemption.—Chicago Times- H*rald. Parisian Thieves. Bo far as the safety of life and prop erty is concerned, Paris seems to have Improved but little since the days of Eugene Sue. The police appear quite unable to grapple with the criminal class, possibly because even under the republic their chief duties are political. A fortnight ago, however, they suc ceeded In laying by the heels “the band of Coco,” a horde of young rufflans who for months terrorized the districts of Puteaux, Courbevole and Neuilly. At least a dozen wayfarers had been stripped of all they had upon them, even to their tan boots and cravats—ar tides for which the miscreants had a special predilection. It is surprising that the police should have allowed this sort of thing to go on night after night for so long a period, but still more astounding Is the pusillanimity of the victims. Not one of them seems to have put up any kind of a light or made any disturbance, and In no in stance did any of the bystanders come to their assistance. A man’s credit is getting very low when he can’t eveu borrow trouble. OUR BUDGET OF FUN. I HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND DO i INGS HERE AND THERE. 5 1 j Jokes and Jokelets that Are Supposed ] to Have Been Recently Born— Sayings ) and Doings that Are Odd, Curious and l Laughable—The Week's Humor. T ' Funny Business Transaction. Rhymer—lt’s a wonder that publish [■: ers employ humorists. ; 1 Spacer—Why so? i j Rhymer—They are always making j ; jokes at the publisher's expense. i ' Can’t Qnalifj'. Madge—Do you think the time will ever come when we will have a worn j , an president? Jack —Never! ' j Madge—Why not? Jack—No woman will ever be able to " arrive at the constitutional age. About the Size of It. l | Willie —Pa, what’s the “Great Di -1 1 vide?” Pa—lt’s what comes after an election. . j A Wanderer. * i Biggs—Sloboy is very nomadic. L j Diggs—Nomadic! How’s that? l : Biggs—He owes me $lO and refuses i I to settle. The Finishing Touch. s | “Just wait,” said the man in the bar ' i ber shop, “till the brush boy gets ready | for the finishing touch.” j “You mean that he will complete your * ! toilet?” * | “No. He’ll get my last ten cents.”— * ! Washington Star. t ; Shaky. 3 \ Mrs. Beach—l’m going back to town 3 ; to-day. ' ! Mrs. Shore—Why so early? f Mrs. Beach—l received a letter from 3 my husband yesterday, and, although t ; I do not profess to be a delineator of * j handwriting, I know he has been drink r • lug hard lately.—Up-to-Date. i i - | Talking It Over, j “Did you ever notice,” said Banks, as -5 ter the joint political meeting, “how enthusiastically you were applauded . , when you sat down? Now, that is what I regard as a doubtful compliment. It might indicate that they were glad you’d got through.” i “Yes,” said Reeves, “but there was L - A MEETING OF STOCKHOLDERS. 5 nothing doubtful about the applause 3 you got. There couldn’t be any mis • take as to their meaning then.” 1 “No, they didn’t wait until I’d got • through.” 1 “I should say they didn’t. Why, when f you said you had only a few remarks to make, I thought they’d raise the t roof.”—Cleveland Leader. , Her Knotty Query. He —All my father’s money is tied up. She —In his handkerchief?—Up-to ; Date. A Misapprehension.! Wickwlre —Do you know that this is \ the third time you have tackled me to ' | day? You must take me for an electric button. ’ Dismal Dawson—Electric button? Wickwlre —Yes, electric button. You ’ ! seem to think you can get a drink by ’ touching me.—lndianapolis Journal. ’ ; Cruel. :i ' r ' / i Sister Mabel Young Dashaway ; praised my complexion the other night. Brother Max—Sort of a powder puff, i eh? ; | Blue Blood. First Mosquito—Why are you looking ; | so blue? I ; Second Mosquito—l’m just after din > i lng on that English count who’s stop ping at the Hilltop House.—Up-to-Date. ■I I The Beginning. . : Fir3t Lawyer—l began a big lawsuit ; j to-day. ‘ Second Lawyer—lssue the writ? | j First Lawyer—No; I drew up an old 1 j millionaire’s will by which he leaves < everything to his favorite child, cutting ( off five others.—Up-to-Date. t Advice for Little Boy Blue. C Little boy blue, come blow your horn, 1 Not that the calves have got into the corn, j But you’ll never be in it, as things are c now going, j 1 Unless you keep loudly and steadily blow ing! Easily Accounted For. I Diggs--Glumly spends nearly all his c time in solitary meditation. e Biggs—That may account for the poor I opinion be has of mankind. j £ Two Different Kinds. Professor —Science has enabled us to photograph the stars. Softleigh—Yaws, bah Jove; and youh get one of the pictahs with evhwy pack of cigahwetts, dancher know. Deep Affection. “Dearest,” said the summer young man, “you may not believe me, but I must tell you that you are the only girl I have loved this year.” —Indianapolis Journal. Approval. “Did you know,” said the man who affects erudition, “that ‘Klondike’ means ‘deer river?’ ” “No,” was the reply; “I didn’t know it. But with eggs selling at $1.50 apiece I should say that was an approi>ri&te name.”—Washington Star. The Same Old Song. Serenader—l stood on the bridge at r midnight, etc. How He Knew. Editor—How old was old man Steb bins when he died? Assistant—The correspondent does j not say. Editor—Didn’t he publish his age af ter his visit to the office two weeks ago? j Assistant—We only said “that he j looked good for 25 years more.” f Editor—Well, then he was 75. Why didn't you say so at once? —ruck. She Rescinded the Order. Miss Oldham—l want a birthday cake sent up to the house to morrow with r sixteen candles in It. j Baker (slightly deaf)—Did you say t sixty candles?—Cincinnati Enquirer. t Rejuvenation. 1 “No,” said the man who is careful not to overstate, “I will not say that since 3 I have been learning the wheel I have become a new man, but I can truthfully state that I have been compelled to grow at least ten square inches of new cuticle.”—lndianapolis Journal. No Chance. “Did you see the ball game yester day?” “No.” “I thought you told me you were go ing.” “I did go, but I sat between two young women who had never seen a game of ball before.”—Chicago Trib une. Why They Did It. Mr. Long worth—l see they’ve barred Victor Hugo’s “Les Miserables” out of the public schools of Philadelphia. Mr. Packinham—No wonder. A per son has to keep awake when he reads that book. The Honored Horse. First Horse—l don't know what will become of us if bicycles get much cheaper. Second Horse—We will be thought more of, of course. I’d rather stand comparison with a ten-dollar wheel than a one-hundred-dollar one.—lndian apolis Journal. Keeping Her Word. “Madam,” said the attorney for the defense, “do you recognize the prisoner as your husband?” “No, sir,” she indignantly replied, “I told him when he got into trouble be fore that if he repeated the offense I would never recognize him again!” Disposed to Shy, He—Really, I never loved any one until I met you. She—Oh, I know that. You acted Just like a colt that was seeing Its first loco motive. Gave Him a Recommend. Os course a vast deal of talk was caused at West Middleton, Ind., when the wife of Rev. C. M. Baugh, pastor of the Christian Church there, applied in court for a divorce. Previous to her marriage to Mr. Baugh she had been Mrs. Cunningham, a widow of consid erable wealth. The decree was issued without contest on the minister’s part. No charges of any kind were made by either person, and when they separated the woman voluntarily gave her ex husband a written certificate of good character, recommending him as an ex- • emplary Christian and a good preacher. This caused even a greater sensation than was aroused when the divorce pro ceedinss were instituted, but neither of the interested parties offers any ex planation. Mr. Baugh has resigned his charge and will go to Southern Califor nia to accept a position there. Medical Students in Paris. In the University of Paris there are over 10,000 medical students. At Vi enna there are about 1,000 more. In Paris there are 8,000 students at the School of Fine Arts.