Phoenix tribune. [volume], April 01, 1928, Page Page Eight, Image 8

About Phoenix tribune. [volume] (Phoenix, Ariz.) 1918-193?

Image provided by: Arizona State Library, Archives and Public Records; Phoenix, AZ

                
Page Eight
HOW TO GET MARRIED
BY HOLDER WRIGHT
Many- young men think it is diffi
cult to get married. Such is not the
case. The difficulty lies in getting
unmarried. If you wish to get mar
ried write the names of ten single
girls that you know on ten slips of
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paper, shake them up in a hat, and
draw one. Then put on the hat and
go to the girl’s home.
Appear nervous, glance at the girl
many times when you know she
thinks you think she doesn’t know.
By this time she will be quite ex
cited.
Move closer beside her, take her
hand, say “Miss Jones —Myrtle, it has
always been you that I’ve wanted —
always— above —fame —money—ev
erything. I want you now. Say
you’ll make me the happiest man on
earth and marry me!”
Naturally it will be sudden to her.
but you’ll be surprised how quickly
she’ll pull herself together and com
mence to play with her handkerchief.
Then sieze her in your arms, press
your lips to hers, true movie style,
and say, “You will, you will, won’t
you?”
A little murmur will greet you.
Nothing now remains but to buy
the ring and take her to the minister
and she’ll tell every girl in town
that she took you because you were
really the one she always loved!
PHOENIX TRIBUNE —ALWAYS IMPROVING
DO GENTLEMEN REALLY
PREFER BLONDES?
Percy Pennington, the library book
worm: “When I want to take up
something light 1 like a blonde, but
when 1 wish to hold some dark
mystery 1 take out a brunette.”
Rudolph Randier the philosopher:
“My dear sir. if gentlemen really
preferred blondes and it became
broadcasted as an absolute fact at
the end of 48 hours all the bru
nettes would be blondes.”
Urh-TJrh, reformed chief of the
Cannibal Islands, now visiting at
Hoboken: “It has been said that
blondes are more fickle, but from
personal experience in the old ship
wreck days, 1 believe I have always
found them more tender than bru
nettes.”
Butch Bolder, slugger and Shiek of
the underworld: “Don’t insult me.
80. I aint no gentleman. But about
STITT’S CLEANING WORKS
17 North 2nd St Phone 7392
We clean everything but the baby and return
everything but the dirt
ALL KINDS OF ALTERATIONS
Work Done Right
SUITS AND OVERCOATS MADE TO MEASURE
Tempe Normal
blondys and broonettes, with me it’s
lyike beer. Sometimes I likes the
dark and sometimes the light. ’
Hirim Perkins, married and re
signed, or would like to be as regards
the latter: “I really think I would
prefer a light blonde. You see my
wife stands two hundred and ten in
her slippers.
Many a man’s reputation for truth
fulness goes lame when he begins to
say things about himself.
Pew women are interested in the
study of prehistoric man. Their
specialty is for the man of today.
Instead of making a fool of a
man. a woman furnishes the oppor
tunity —and lets him do the rest.
Originality: Doing what some oth
er fellow did so long ago that peo
ple have forgotten all about it.