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UELDINO, MICHIGAN Noah Webster's Work. lit first wade Americans a diction ary nation and bred the notion, which exists nowhere else in the world, tha dictionaries and not good usage decide the pronunciation of words. He began I be divergence between our spelling and that of England. He created the American habit, a good one, constantly apparent in our courts of law, in our tpeches, addresses, articles and de bates, of beginning the discussion of any subject by citing the lexical defini tion of the words that express it. To u people spread over a continent these habits have been of a prodigious na tional service. It is due to Noah Web ster, to his spelling book, his lexicon and the dictionary habits he created that this country has no such dialects as European lands, declares the Phila delphia Press. Over an area three time3 as large as Europe we speak the Fame tongue, use the same words in the same way, with substantially the same utterance, broken by small dif ferences of stress, accent and vowels, differing far less than elsewhere over lands the size of New Jersey. In a new play on American life the heroine was made to say: "We are not native-born Americans; we hold our troth eternal." The slur at American family life did not seem just to Presi dent Roosevelt, and at his request the playwright modified the line. At about the same time a brilliant Scotch-Canadian published in the London Specta tor a witty and severe castlgation of American women. He represented them as indifferent to the great func tions of motherhood. The trouble with criticisms of this sort is that they are based upon newspaper reports of di vorce and other scandals among the cheap rich. In such reports tho aver age American does not recognize any thing that resembles the home where his father and mother brought him up, or the home where he is bringing up his children. In the same way the Frenchman does not recognize social life as he knows it in many of the novels written by his own country men. Many men have evolved what they railed a "system" for winning money at games of chance. The latest to an nounce his Invention Is the earl of Rossyin. Sir Hiram Maxim, the dis tinguished inventor and mathemati cian, undertook to demonstrate the fallacy of that or any other system, nnd by agreement, he and the earl tested it by playing with counters rep resenting $50,000, and using a roulette wheel exactly like that used at Monte Carlo. The test was to consist of 5,000 ppins of the wheel, but before that number was reached the earl's capital of counters was exhausted. To those who know enough of mathematics to be familiar with the theory of possi bilities, no such demonstration was necessary, says the Youth's Compan ion; but it may serve a useful purpose In convincing some other young men of what every man of learning knows namely, that in all gambling games the "bank" is mathematically certain to win In the end. Many estimates have been made of what the population of the United States will be in 1950. They vary all the way from 175,000,000 to 200.000. 000. The latest person to make an es timate, however, takes quite a differ ent view. In the Atlantic Monthly Mr. W. S. Rossiter, a census expert, shows that the rate of Increase In pop ulation Is steadily declining. From 1870 to 1880 the increase was 31 per cent. From 1880 to 1890, 24 per cent., and from that date to 1900, 21 per cent. In view of this steady decrease in the rate, Mr. Rossiter estimates that the population will not be over 130,000,000, and after that date will tend to become stationary. It is announced that plans are well toward perfection for that big insur ance building in New York which is to cover an entire block and to bo 34 stories In the main part, rising to a height of 489 feet, with a tower that will reach 909 feet, making the struc ture altogether the most imposing in the metrooplis. As the building will cost $20,000,000 and stand on the most expensive real estate on Manhattan Island, It certainly will be one of the sights of the great town. Incidentally the query will be suggested: Where is the limit to be fixed on sky-scrapers? A traveler by the night train from Peterborough to Grimsby complained that while dozing an animal of some sort had run over his face. It was dis corcred that the train was infested with rats and It has been taken off to that it may be cleared of the pests. The royal houses of Europe arc hur rying to marry their young scions off early." Perhapsthey fear an irns.hti ble American invasion if they allow the princes to wait long enough to choose for themselves. JURY CONVICTED REV. CUDIGS TRIED TO MAKE GIRL AFFINITY SCAPE GOAT FOR THE MAN. WIFE GAVE STRONG HELP Prisoner Said He Got What He Had Expected Wife and Erring Sister Weep Over the Verdict. Rev. William Cummings, former Elk Rapids pastor, was convicted by a Jury at Ionia of failure to support, his wife. As the foreman of the Jury in the trial of Cummings on the charge of having deserted his wife and eloped with his "soul mate," her ulster, Velva Taylor, pronounced the verdict, a sneering smile crept over the face of the "Rev." William. "It came out as I expected," said he, when his wife, Mabel, who brought the charges, called on him in his cell a little later. ! Mrs. Cummings, on the stand, had defended her husband, somewhat to the surprise of the court hangers-on. She and her father declared that Vel va had been the pursuer in the strange love affair, and Velva herself had admitted her infatuation for the clergyman, saying that, when she fol lowed him to the Soo, he had told her to go home. Judge Davis will impose sent?nco next week. In the meantime, counsel for the defendant will test the con stitutionality of the law which makt?3 the judge the pardoning power and provides that the state shall pay a pension while the husband is in pris on in case of failure to file a bond for the wife's maintenance. Mr. and Mrs. Taylor and Velva. who wept bitterly over the verdict, eturned to Clarksville, while Mrs. Cummings remained at tho jail with her husband. Cannot Ship Hay. Secretary Wilson, after deciding that he would issue an order permit' ting the shipment of hay, etc., from the state of Michigan, under certain restrictions, at 3 o'clock Wednesday afternoon changed his mind. He would not issue the order, and the delegation of hay dealers from Michigan, under stood to be about to start for Wash ington, may as well go on if they fe.i like it. The secretary said he had stopped the ojder because he is not yet en tirely satisfied that it is safe. That Is all. He would not agree to the in ference from this that he might issue the order a little later, as It was ap parent that he would like to do so. He said it was always his policy to inter fere as little as possible with lhaslness, but that thif was anjost seriojs af fair, and that he would riot take any chances. The Glazier Trial. It is generally believed that one of the certainties of the near future is that Frank P. Glazier will have to face criminal charges in Detroit in ad dition to the charges of this character pending in Ingham county. It is likely that the charges will be in the Wayne circuit court, but there Is a possibility also of the United States courts being called on. and in formations may be filed in both fed eral and state courts. It Is said that the question of crim inal charges against Glazier in De troit was discussed a few days ago In a Glazier creditors' meeting, at which the banks holding large amounts of Glazier paper were rep resented. Some of the speakers, it is said, were very insistent in demands that some serious action be taken in Detroit, action in proportion to the more than $500,000 that Glazier got from leading Detroit banks. Were Fined $10,000. Judge Knappen in the United States district court fined the Stearns Salt & Lumber Co., of Ludington, $10,000 for accepting rebates from the Pere Mar quette on shipments from Ludington to Toledo. Some time ago the Stearns company pleaded guilty on 20 counts and was fined $20,000. Judge Knap pen recently permitted the company to withdraw the plea of guilty on 20 counts on condition that It would plead guilty on "six counts. This the company did and was fined the $10,000 on the six counts today. Saved Baby; Lost Her Life. Mrs. Claude W. Ruckley, of Battle Creek, the young mother who, five weeks ago, saved her babe's life by carrying It from a burning room while her own clothing was on fire, died Wednesday from her burns. Mrs. Buckley had thrown excelsior in the fire, when her clothing became Ignited and spread to curtains in the room. Heedless of her own peril, and thinking only of her child, she held the babe at arm's length from her and carried it to a place of safety outside. By this time, she was wrapped in flames and was terribly burned before they could be extinguished. She was well known in Battle Creek society. John J. McCarthy, for six years rep resentative at Lansing from the Stan dish district, has accepted the position of examiner of inheritance taxes in Michigan. He will take up his new duties January 1. Knocked down and robbed on the street early in the evening on her way home from shopping, Mrs. David Haines, of Kalamazoo, chased the man who had seized her pocketbook. A crowd followed and the fugitive was caught. He gave his name as Joe Williams. The body of Henry White, of Kala mazoo, was found bent around a post 100 feet from the Michigan Central railway crossing near his home Tues day night. No one saw him meet his death, but it is considered obvious tnat he was struck by a fast train and his body hurled to the place where it was fonnd. STATE NEWS BRIBFff. Muskegon's chief of police has or, dered all the bowling alleys closed on Sundays. John Green, aged 35, of Kalamazoo, after sleeping all night In the woods, died at the Burgess hospital from ex posure. A fine quality of shaie and coal have been discovered along the banks of Rifle river, and shafts will be sunk to test it. Frank Schaub, aged 27. of Camden, is dead from a gunshot wound acci dentally inflicted while he was hunt ing rabbits. Fire Sunday night destroyed four buildings, the Mass City bank, the Mass Grocery Co.'s store, the bakery and the poolroom. When Dr. J. B. Bradley retires from the office of auditor general, next month, he will resume the practice of medicine in Lansing. The poKtoffice at Worth has been discontinued by the postofflce depart ment. . Rural routes cover all the ter ritory formerly supplied by it. Demanding $10000 lor the loss of an eye while he was working for the firm. Martin L. Boyce, of Marshall, is suing the Gale Manufacturing Co. A herd of 24 cows afflicted with tu berculosis and sold from the Michigan asylum to a farmer, probably will b killed by the Michigan Live Stcc. association. The long drought in northern Mich igan, which has been a hardship to thousands of farmers since the middle of last summer, has been broken by copious rains. After a fight of six weeks, the cur few ordinance was killed in the Cold water common council. The final vote resulted in a vote of 5 to 3 against the ordinance. Charles Hawser, of Newbcrg town ship, was convicted in the circuit court Friday of attempted felonious assault on his 70-year-old mother. Hawser is 45, married, and has one child. The U. of M. campus is to be en larged 30 acres, making 70 acres in all. The enlargement includes four city squares, taking in two blocks north of Huron street and east and west between Twelfth and Thayer streets. While leading an intoxicated man from a dance hall, John Burnette, aged 51. a Manistlque policeman, fell to the floor and died from heart dis ease. He leaves a widow and tour children. Over 1.C00 names have been signed to the local option petitions now being circulated throughout Newa go coun ty. This is 900 more than necessary to require the supervisors to hold an election to vote cn the liquor ques tion next spring. Believing she had committed the un pardonable sin spoken of in the Bible, Mrs. Henry Van Andel. aged 45, of Muskegon, attempted suicide by slash ing her throat. She was taken to the county jail, where she will be exam ined as to her sanity. R. A. Garber, of Charlotte, who se cured the names necessary to vote on the "good roads" proposition in the county next spring, is nearly through with a similar task in Barry county, after which he is assigned to the same work in Clinton county. Great admiration of Saginaw's new auditorium was expressed by Bishop Charles D. Williams, of Detroit, head of the Episcopal church In Michigan. "I wish we had a Wellington R. Burt and a Temple E. Dorr in Detroit," was tho way the bishop expressed it. Fines and costs amounting to $00 or 30 days in Jail were imposed on Con. Kilbourne, of Sault Ste. Marie. Kil bourne was accused of starting forest fires. This is the first conviction ever secured in that part of the state for that offense. Other trials will follow. Senator William Alden Smith has promised to help the Grand-Saginaw Valleys Waterways association, which plans a ship canal connecting Iake Michigan and Saginaw, via Grand Raj Ids, Saginaw and Bay City. A board of directors was elected and legisla tive and publicity committees were ap pointed. The Michigan Sugar Beet Co., which owns six of the state's sugar beet factories, at a meeting Friday, took official cognizance of the fact that the company is controlled by the sugar trust. The statement was made that of the company's $3,800,000 stock, all but $300,000 is held by Michigan capitalists. One of the Jackson banks has paid the employes of the state prison in full for the time coming to them and has promised to take care of them during the holidays if the state does not. The situation caused by the lack of funds In the state treasurery was creating serious embarrassment, among the men. Mandamus proceedings have been begun to compel the board of district canvassers to reconvene and declare void the votes cast for Charles E. White for state senator at the recent election. White is prosecuting attor ney of Berrien county, and a question as to his eligibility has arisen becau3e of his dual office. Wisconsin game wardens confiscat ed a car containing 35 deer Tuesday morning. Deputy Game Warden De Bell, of Menominee, tried to stop the car at that place, but failed. He then notified the Wisconsin wardens, who secured the car. The deer were killed in the Michigan woods, and were be ing shipped to Chicago. Christopher Seymour, of Sandrock. is the victim of a remarkable hunting accident. While crossing a stream on a log he slipped and lost his bal ance. Realizing that he must fall into the water, he attempted to throw his rifle to the shore. It struck a limb and was discharged, the bullet strik ing Seymour In the foot and badly shattering it. With combined resources of $4,343. 422. Marquette's three banking Institu tions have deposits aggregating $3, 524.383. On an estimated population of 11,000, this Is $320 per capita, which Is believe! to be unexcelled In the tat. News Notes Interesting Capital of Lansing. It was determined that a reunion of the delegates to the consti tutional convention and the principal officers of the convention will ba held in Lansing December 17. Arrange ments were made for the event by tho committee recently appointed by President Carton, which Is composed of R. C. Flannigan. Norway, chairman; II. M. Campbell, Detroit; Lawton T. Hemans, Mason; J. F. Barnett, Grand Rapid?, and Victor Hawkins, Jones vllle. Paul M. King, secretary of the con vention, was made secretary of the committee of arrangements and J. F. Barnett, treasuier. Victor Hawkins will be teastniaslcr. It was decided that a formal session of the convention delegates and prin cipal olliccrs will bo held on tho fore nocu of tho day fixed for the reunion, and that a social session and banquet will be held at the Hotel Downey in the evening. Besides the members of the convention, the secretary and his assistants, the convention stenogra pher and his aides, the sergeant-alarms of tho convention and represen tatives of the press will be invited to attend. Newberry Takes New Oat.'i. Herbert Sutterlee, son-in-law of .1. Pierpont -Morgan, has been appointed assistant secretary of the navy in 4 Ml Truman H. Newberry. place of Truman II. Newberry of Mich igan, promoted. Mr. Newberry was sworn In as sec retary of the navy, and attended his first cabinet meeting, succeeding Vic tor Metcalf, resigned. Staje Treasury Fund Reported. The state treasury recently con tained $208.G9 in cash, but this sum was not available because It belonged to the primary school fund and the sum was not sufficient to pay any out standing warrant. Primary school warrants to the amount of $901,329 had been paid and there was still out standing and unpaid warrants for $428,769, which sum represented . the amount which the primary school fund was drawn upon for running ex penses of the state. Checks have been sent to 41 coun ties of the state, the state treasurer having decided that those counties which first presented warrants should be paid. The counties which are not paid are Alcona, Alger, Allegan, An trim, Baraga, Barry, Benzie, Clarke, Dickinson, Emmet, Genesee, Gladwin, Gogebic, Grand Traverse, Houghton, Huron, Iosco, Isabella, Kalkaska, Kee wenaw, Iake, Lapeer, Leelanau, Mack inac, Macomb, Marquette, Mason, Me costa, Menominee, Midland, Missau kee, Muskegon, Ogemaw, Ontonagon, Osceola, Oscoda, Otsego, Presque Isle, Roscommon, St. Joseph, Tuscola. Nearly all of the larger counties had received their allowances of pri mary money. Baseball Playing Full of Danger. When you go out to play catch see that your neighbors wear armor plate. When you indulge in a little recreation with a friend and a baseball, be sure you shoo away spectators. The su preme court In an opinion orders a new trial in the circuit court of Wayne county in the case of William Blakely vs. the White Star Steamship line. Blakely went on an excursion June 18, 1903, to Tashmoo park, which is con ducted by tho White Star Company. While at the park Blakely's ankle was broken by a ball thrown by two men who were playing the national game. The men were playing outside the reg ular diamond, and Blakely brought suit for damages against the White Star Company, alleging contributory negligence. The lower court ordered a verdict for the defendant company on the ground that when a man went to a park he took his own chances. Detroit Medics Attend. The annual meeting of the north eastern Michigan Medical societies, In cluding Gratolt, Isabella, Midland, Clare, Gladwin, Tuscola nnd Saginaw counties, was held at Suginaw. There were many doctors present from each of tho counties and numerous papers on medical topics were read, among the contributors being Drs. Max Bui len nnd Louis Hirschman of Detroit. Tho session concluded with a banquet at which Dr. F.' W. Edelmann of Sagi naw acted as toast master, and promi nent physicians of the state talked. from Lansing Happenings at the State Michigan. IMIWtUWfUll Michigan War on Saloons. The biggest fight against the saloons that Michigan has ever seen is to be pulled off in the coming spring cam paign, according to George W. Mor row, superintendent of the Anti-Saloon league, and the battle ground of the contest may bo seen by a glance at the lineup of counties. It will be remem bered that last spring the issue of local option was fought in 14 counties, and that ten of the 14 were carried by tho opponents of the saloon. Van Buren county has been dry for about 18 years, and adding that to the ten that were carried under the present reform wave makes the 11 that ap pear under the first heading of "dry counties." Under the present local op tion law the boards of supervisors must paes on the matter of submit ting the quebtion to the vote of the people, and in the 11 counties enumer ated in the second heading the super visors already have ordered that tho question shall be submitted this spring. It goes without saying that a life and death struggle between the liberal' interests and the anti-saloon In terests is already in full swing in those of 11 counties. In the 13 counties that are named under the third head ing as being likely to vote on local option this spring a similar finish fight is on. Here's the way they line up now : Counties now lry Si. .lost ih. Oakland, Mifvaukfr, Oceana. Harry, Gratiot, Osce ola. Van Hurt ii, C linton, Midland, Wex ford 11. Counties where local option vote for next spring has been ordered Mecosta, Ottawa, Tuscola, Kuton, Alcona, Huron, IHpeer, Kalkaska, Montcalm, Sanilac, Genesee 11. Other count It s likely to vote Herrien. AllcKun, Kniinet, Clare, Jiranch. Living-r-ton, NewayK. Luke, Ik uzle, Hillsdale, lonla, Isabella, Iosco. 1:5. Postmasters Under Civil Service. All Michigan fourth class postmas ters were placed in the classified serv ice by an executive order of President Roosevelt. Hereafter all appointees to fourth class postmasterships must un dergo civil service examination. Post masters now holding office will not need to take the examinations. Over 15,000 fourth class postmasters in the United States are affected by the ordr, 1,234 in Michigan. The post of fice department may fill vacancies in fourth class postmasterships without civil service examination, until the civil service commission is able to hold examinations and make certification to such positions. The order takes all fourth class postmasters of Michigan out of politics and places them under civil service control, is taken to mean that soon all Michigan postmasters will be under the civil service. "Fourth class postmasters are the low est class in the service," said Assistant Postmaster Joseph May worm. "There are 54,312 fourth class postmasters in the United States, but, of course, I do not know what number will be affected by the new order, which applies only to a certain district. Hereafter fourth class postmasters will be obliged to take the civil service examination and then they will be allowed to retain their positions for life, pending good behavior. The post offices at River Rouge, Ecorse, etc., are fourth class of fices." Commissioner for Chinamen. , Judge Swan will appoint a new United States commissioner at De troit in the near future. Chinese smuggling cases are not heard before the Detroit commissioner and it is now necessary to take the cases be fore a commisisoner either in Lansing or Port Huron, or bring one of the commissioners to Detroit, entailing an extra expense for the government. Chinese cases were heard before the commisisoners until several years ago, when, on account of the com plaints made to the authorities by certain federal officials because of the alleged leniency of Detroit commis sioners in handling the cases, an or der was received from Washington directing that the cases be taken be fore commissioners outside of De troit. Debt of $75,000 Will Go Unpaid. Men who loaned money to Shiawas see county to build the new courthouse at Corunna, when the supervisors had exceeded the appropriation voted by the people for the purpose, must lose their loans. These loans, it Is under stood, amount to about $75,000. it was decreed by tho supreme court in the case of John T. McCurdy against the county of Shiawassee that the county loans were without authority of law, and that it would clearly be against public policy to allow a recovery. Mc Curdy brought a test case against the county to recover on a loan and was given a Judgment of $11,081 and costs. Taft's Lead 158.690; Warner's 9,530. The new constitution was adopted by the voters of Michigan by a ma jority of 114,000, according to unof ficial figures prepared at the capltoI. Wayne county alone gave the new document a majority of 31,000. While the slate canvass has not been an nounced and no figures were obtain able from the secretary of state's of fice, returns were sent to the governor and state treasurer from which it ap peared that Taft carried the state of Michigan by 158,000, while Gov. War ner had a plurality of 9,530. 10 ALEXIS IS THE AGED PRESIDENT TAKES REFUGE ON FRENCH WARSHIP. REVOLUTION WINS OUT. Scenes Along the Route to 8afety Were Fierce Legitime Is Once More President. Cursed, hissed and jeered by a riot ous mob of thousands of men and wo men over whom up to a few days ago he had held sway as president, Nord Alexis, the 90-year-old fallen ruler of Haiti, said farewell to his native coun try Wednesday night. He is now on board a French warship in the harbor. The departure of Alexis was dra matic. Deposed by the very people he had thought were loyal to him as the revolutionist army approached from the south, the president refused to flee. It took the united efforts of the foreign consuls and a citizens' com mittee to Impress upon him the neces sity of departure. "I will fight to the last," declared the aged president. From outside came a roar from the angry mob gathered about the palace. "Kill him, kill him," came the cry. It was 5 o'clock when Nord Alexis yielded to the entreaties of those anx ious for his safety and made quick preparations for departure. As he left the palace a salute of 21 guns was fired. The situation was so serious the foreign representatives gathered about the carriage of the president, and M. Carteron, the French minister, threw a tri-color over his shoulders. The trip to the wharf was made through a path of the military guard. The people hooted and cursed. Infuri ated women broke through the cordon of troops and hurled the coarsest of in sults at the president. Alexis strove bravely to appear undismayed. As the president and his suite reached the wharf the mob lost all re straint. A woman forced her way to Alexis side and, drawing a long knife, made a lungs at him. But the weapon fell short. A man struck the president, but it was a glancing blow and hurt little but his feelings. Alexis stepped into the skiff that was to take him to the French war ship and three Haitien gunboats and the French and American battleships fired a salute to the fallen president. Ex-Senator F. D- Legitime, who has been made president of Haiti by the enforced abdication of Gen. Nord Alexis and the latter's flight from the capital, was once before president of the turbulent republic. Elected under the laws of the country after a sensa tional campaign in 1888, his title was recognized by all European coun tries, but the United States alone de clined" to Concede 'the legality of his election. Principally on account of the position taken by the American re public. Legitime retained the execu tive chair only eight months, and then gave way to the man who had been unable to defeat him in the election. Stormy incidents, as full of sensa tion and violence as the present crisis, marked the way-of Legitimie to the position has again won. THAT AGREEMENT. Just the Old One Reiterated to Give the War Howlers a Jolt. That the new American-Japanese pact had the effect intended by its ratification nnd publication was the information given to the house com mittee on appropriations by Secretary of State Root, who appeared before the committee in relation to the ap propriations for his department, which are to be carried in the legislative, executive and judicial appropriation bill. He was questioned closely Iy Chairman Tawney and other members of the committee about the new agr ; -ment with the Japenese. Root told the committee that both the United States and Japan had worked a confidence game on the world, which was necessary, however, because the world's memory needed a jolt. "This agreement," said Secretary Root, "Is simply a reiteration of thv agreement entered into between the United States and Japan. The world had forgotten about the old agree ment. Stories were constantly crop ping up in European capitals of com ing war between the two countries. There were no reasons why there should be a war, as the relations be tween the two governments were of the most cordial nature. It was there fore necessary to remind the world of the agreement made years ago, and so a new one, embodying the same principles as the old, was prepared and signed and promulgated. It has had Its effect. War talk in European capitals is no longer heard and it won't be heard for years to come. The danger In this talk from our neigh bors across the water was that it would get the people of the two coun tries into the belief that there was to be a war, and this was the only way in which the spreading of that belief could bo stopped." Ry sliding down 50 feet of water pipe, Howard Hill, a Muskegon in corrigible aged 10, escaped from the Industrial school at Lansing, and I still at large. Admiral Coghlan Dead. Just on the eve of his removal to his new home, where be had hoped lo spend his declining years in quiet after a lifetime of arduous service in the navy, Rear Admiral Joseph II. Cogh lan. retired, died suddenly of apoplexy In New York Saturday. Rear Admiral Coghlan was born at Frnnkfort, Ky., 64 years ago. and his services in the navy dated from 1863, when he grad uated from tlp United States naval Rcademy at the age of 17. From that lime until his retirement in December. 1906. he was almost constantly In the lervice. PROVED BY TIME. No Fear of Any Further Trouble. David Price, Corydon, la., says: "1 was in the last stage of kidney trouble lame, weak, run down to a mere skeleton. My back was so bad I could hardly walk and the kidney secre tions much disor dered. A week after I began using Doan's Kidney Pills I could walk with (fUH out a cane, and as I continued my health gradually returned. I wa3 so grateful I made a public statement of my case, and now seven years have passed, I am still perfectly well." Sold by all dealers. 50c a box. Fos-ter-Mllburn Co., Buffalo, N. Y. THE QUARREL. Her Why on earth did you every marry me? Him Oh, don't be so bromldic! That's what everybody asks. OF TWO EVILS, ETC. Youngster Evidently Had His Own Idea as to the Choice. My neighbor, writes a correspondent, has four young sons, whom he and his wife duly lead to church every Sun day. Just as the sermon was about to begin last Sunday one of the boys was observed to look very uncomfort able, and, having explained the nature of his sufferings, was sent home. His younger brother, in an urgent whis per, demanded of his mother: "Where's Tom gone?" "He's gone home." "What for?" "The mother whispered, low: "He's got toothache." And the lad, as he sat up to listen to the preacher, muttered, in a stags whisper: "Lucky dog!" Optimist and Pessimist. Sydney Rosenfeld once wrote a com edy, entitled "The Optimist," which achieved success after the production, but was a long time reaching the stage. Manager after manager refused the manuscript, and one day Mr. Rosenfeld, whose patience was ex hausted, blurted out to his sole au ditor: "Of course you don't appreciate the play! You don't even know the meaning of Its name!" "Yes, I do," protested the Im presario. "Well," insisted Rosenfeld, "what's the difference between an optimist and a pessimist?" The manager barely hesitated: "An optimist is an eye doctor," he said; "a pessimist is a foot doctor." Sun day Magazine. Kicks. Harry Payne Whitney the day his own and other noted horsemen's racers were shipped from London on the Minnehaha, said of the death of racing In New York: "A good many Jockeys have been hard hit. A Jockey told me last week a very sad tale of misfortune. I lis tened sympathetically." "'Ah, Joe, said I, 'when a man is down, few hands are extended to him.' "The jockey as he chewed a straw, smiled bitterly. "Few hands yes that's right," he snid. 'but think of the feet.' " Expert Pocket-Picking. An old lady was accosted in a Lon don street by a well-dressed and refined-looking stranger, who effusively claimed her as a friend. "I really don't believe you remember me!" she exclaimed, reproachfully, and the old lady, never doubting that her memory was at fault, confessed that she could not quite recall the name. "Ah, but I have changed It since you knew me," said her interlocutor, gayly, and after a few more lively speeches she passed on, having possessed herself mean while of the old lady's purse. CAUSE AND EFFECT Good Digestion Follows Right Food. Indigestion and the attendant dis comforts of mind and body are cer tain to follow continued use of improp er food. Those who arc still young and robust are likely to overlook the fact that, as dropping water will wear a stone away at last, o will the use of heavy, greasy, rich food, finally cause loss of appetite and indigestion. Fortunately many are thoughtful enough to study themselves and note the principle of Cause and Effect In their daily food. A N. Y. young wom an writes her experience thus: "Sometime ago I had a lot of trouble from indigestion, caused by too rich food. I got so I was unable to di gest scarcely anything, and medicines seemed useless. "A friend advised me to try Grape Nuts food, praising It highly, and as a last resort I tried It. I am thankful to cay that Grape-Nuts not only re lieved me of my trouble, but built me up and strengthened my digestive or gans so that I can now eat anything I desire. But I stick to Grape-Nuts." "There's a Reason." Name given by Postum Co., Battle Creek, Mich. Read "The Road to Well- vllle," in pkgs. V.rrr read the nbvr letterf A ew ae memr from lime to time. They re fteaalae, tra, -aad -fall ( .kaaaa latereat.