Newspaper Page Text
THE KM'OItMEll, JULY 11, 1884.
IS THE TIME TO CORE SKIN HUMORSj t : , .wi.iv CUTKUlUltKMEUIKH. IT IS A FACT. Hundred of UMon In our pomoiwlon (copto of wb i m .y I..- )..d by wlurn mull) ro our nil ho v for lh , n.erllou llmt .kin, culn. d Hood liu- .or." wliotliur ...rofuloim, Inherited or oonlimlou., law now 1)0 permanently cured by Wieuiu Kb- "iZusT th now blood purlller, lnlortmlly, Biid CUT.otmA nnd Uutiouiu Soap, the Kt jeuroj nnd bmutlllers, cxtomully, in ono Imlf tho time ami lit onv-hulf tho oxpcn.u of liny otliur neimon. Greatest on Earth. CuTicmiA Rkmeiiikb aro tho gronlo't medicines on eiirtta. Had the worst ciwe wilt rhouin in ti. country. Sly mother had it twenty year., and In fact died from it. I be ievo CliTK U.U would have saved her life. My arm., hrea.1 and head were covered for three year., which nothinx 'vedr cured until 1 u.ed tho tiTIOl.lu UK M J Inter nally, and Cuticuiia and OuticubaBoap oxter n'JJj; J W A dam a, lownrk, O. "Great Blood Medicines. Tho half ha. not been told a. to tho ureal enrr. live power, of tho C'tmrtiRA Kkmkdieb. I h vo pald'hundrod. of dollar, for medicine, to ciire dto S,e. of the b ood and .kin, and never found anj thinu yet to equal tho CLTtciniA '"?",,, 1'rovUlenoe, HI. CjmhAJWuuam Cure in Every Case. Your CuTicunA Remedies out-el all other med icine I keep for .kin di.cae.. My customer, ami patient, .ay they have effected a euro in every la Lnce, where other remedy. h? p Franklin Fa ls, Nil. Sold bv all druggist". Price: Cuticuiia, M et; Resolvent, 81; Boa.-, SSeu. roTTEitDmio and Chemical Co., Boston, Ma . Send for "How to Cure Skin Pldensen." For Sunburn, Tan and n ulrlt. P.liir.khpnrla. PiuipleB, Skin lilMMIlM; " use Cuticuiia Hqap, a real beautllier. THE WISE PRE pi VENT SICKNESS. GN GER pi. ..nm1,tt,attnn nt I til ll.l r . .f1 Va.ll ifi A ueiiujuun win ........... --- - ccr, I'lioico Aromatic) and the best of Ireiicli ISrnn.ly. Vast y superior to all other ginger., all of which arc made of the strongest al- CCurc (,'iifils. Dili Mm, Feverish and llhou matic symptoms, Asue, 1'ains and Malaria. Cure iyiifli, siek headache, sea sick ness, flatulency, cramps, cholera morbus, dysen tery, and ills incidental to chance of climate. A I'inil stimiaiil without alcoholic re action, deliclously flavored, purely mcdicina', Kailkorl'N fjiisurvr overcomes exhaustion, al lays nervousness, promotes sleep, eradicates a crav ing for intoxicants, and strengthens those reduced by disease, debility and dissipation. Bewnre of all ginger, said to the same or a. good as ganford's. Avoid mercenaiy dealers, who for a few cents extra profit try to force upon j"ou their own or others when you call forSauford's Ginger. Bold by all druggists, grocers, etc. l'OTTEB llBUG AND CHEMICAL Co, BOSTON. New T.ifo for shattered 'perves, painful muscle, and weakened organs, solium Voltaic ct ric Plasters in stantly ii '-ts tlm nervous system '-nl ."e pain, nervousi,. ... ncnility. A perfect i:.v.i-o-(Blvanlo bat tery combined with a highly medicinal plaster for 25 ct.. iold by all druggists. o uiy. V nr taic 10 18 UNACO.UAINTID WITH Tilt OEOORAKHY OFTH1. COUM- TRY WILl SEI BY t XAMtNlNQ THIS bw 1""' TIC R'Y 'ecta the 'd car lween ven It ial . All llltil ! The ditlniicst fully of tho vale ; Slio come., Tripping; o'er tho mossy stones. Vas ever lueli a queenly graco ) Wai ever suru a sunny fueej Was ever sucU a voice to swell LIUo distant peal of silver hell ? AlUiftU! She comes, The daintiest fairy of the vale, Tripping o'er the mossy stonos. The flowers, Within a thousand wayside bowers All seek To gfiM P0n licr du,Plln8 chcek And catch from the entrancing vlow Tho secret of Its sunny hue : And when tho magic art Is known To wear Its glory In their own. Tho flowers, All seek Within a thousand wayside bowers To gazo upon her dimpling check. The birds Their sweetest tcudercst mystic words In song Are chanting by her path along, To mlngb with her silvery tono The warbled sweetness of their own, And catch and trill o'er hill and plain Tho silvery cadence of her strain. Thelilrds In song Their sweetest, tcndrcst, mystic words Are chanting by her path along. It lay, My homo in childhood by her way ; And bright I seem to see her form to-night, Tripping with a dainty air Down tho rocky mossy stair; Or with stately queenly mien Walking through tho meadow green It lay And bright My homo in childhood, by her way, I seem to 6ec her form to-night. Virgil W Blanchard, M D. JUNE DAYS. Wave on, d.licious days of shower and shine, Cool, cloudy morns, and noontides wnito ana warm, And eyes that melt in azure hyaline Wave to midsummer's long, Lethean calm. For all the woods are shrill with stress of song. Where soft wings flutter down to new-built And ttumUent sweet sounds arc heard day-long, As of innumerable marriage feasts. Tho flame of flowers is bright along the plain, The hills are dim beneath pale, . brooding And, lfkeea 'kiss that thrills through every vein, The warm wind, odor-laden, stirs and sighs, Murmuring like music heard afar by night From boats becalmed on star-illumined streams, Sad as the memory of a lost delight. Sweet as tho voices that are heard in dreams. Wave, siren days, and break the spell that wrings The burdened breast with undefined regret, Wayward desires, and vain imaginings, The nameless warning nnd the idle fret. Wave on ! yo wake the love that tempts and flies; . , ,, And where love is, thence reac0 departs fun soon; , ,. But, ah, how sweet love is, e'e.n though it dies AVith thy last roses, O enchantress June ! Charles LHildreth. IBISHNAKCY. Have you heard Nancy's sigh ? then you've caught the sad echo From tho wind harp enchantingly borno. Have you heard the girl laugh ) then you vo heard the first cuckoo Chant the summer's delightful return. And the songs that poor ignorant country-folk . fancy ThS lark's liquid raptures on high, Are just old Irish airs from the sweet lips of Nancy, Flowing up and refreshing the sky. And though her foot dances so soft from the heather To the dew-twinkling tussocks of grass, It but warns the bright drops to slip closer to gether To imnire the cxauisite lass ; We've no man left among us, so lost to emo tion, Or Rpornful. or cold to her sex. Who'd resist her ii' Nancy once took up the no tion To set that soft foot on their necks. Vet, for all that the bee flies for honey-dew fra- Srant e lifllf-onened flower of her lips ; And tho btttterlly pauses, tl.s purple-eyed va grant, To nlav with her uink linzcr-tlps; From all human lovers she locks up the treasure A thousand are starving to taste ; And the fairies alone know the magical meas ure Of the ravishing round of her waist. Alfred Ferceval Graves. GRANDMOTHER'S PICTUEE. is an ancient picture dimmed by years ' fair old face, with bands of silver hair itbed underneath a cap of snowy lace . i as our grandsire's wives were wont to ear; upon me from its tarnished frame 1 the old-time tenderness and love ; e cannot be a sweeter look Aces in tho world above. ck the joy of days that came fc was touched with care or 'ie past, as dim, as dear, 'ace and fading 6mile ; childhoods happy hours, om, wind and song and w-purpled eyes, day was done. f summer noons, miirof tho bees; 1)1 no, n the leas ; night i taint and ids, lulcresllnir rr or thti IVrlU rs by On WiiuUiiows Thrlr lllliry. A wrltor In tho Oakland, Cal, Tlmos says i It is a singular fact, nevertheless true, that nearly nil of our national songs wero written, adapted or put botoro tho pulilio by actors. I will en deavor to glvo a correct history of our national songs, according to tho best authorities. Our oldest national melody Is "Yankoo Doodle." When near tho closo of t.;o war of 1770, when Lord Cornwallli was at Yorktown, Va, an of flcor wroto some versos upon WasuiiiglOii. Tho miserable doggerel linos wero sot tousle by tho master of tho regimental band of tho Scotch Oroys, and tho song was glvon In Jrlslon of the Amorlcans and their cause. Tho first verse ran thus : "Yankc6 Doodlo canio to town upon a little pony'ctc-ylt caus ed a great deal of merriment among tho British troops. Cornwallli laughed at tho "young buckskin," as be called Washington, and wits certain of a very easy victory at that time. But Do Grasse and Itochambeau arrived with the French army and Washington gained his coun try's triumph. Among other spoils ct tho bat tlefield tne words and music were gained, and tho Americans now played "Yankee Doodlo" back at the British. It was aftorward played in tho theatroi in Philadelphia, and so It has been acknowledged as our own music ever since. Next in order Is "Hail Columbia." The song was adapted in measure to tho "President's March," an 4 was written by Joseph Hopkins of Philadelphia in 1793. At that time war was expected with France, and a patriotic feeling pervaded tho community. Mr Fox, a young actor and singer, called upon Mr Hopkins ono morning and said: "To-morrow is appointed for my benefit at tho theatre, and I fear there will be a Blim house. If you will write mo somo patriotic verse to the tune of the 'President's March,' I feel suro of a full audienco." Mr Hopkins retired to his study, wrote the first verse and chorus, and submitted it to Mr Fox', who sang it to a harpsichord accompaniment. The song was soon finished, and that night the young actor received it. The next morning the placards announced that Mr Fox would sing a new patriotic song. The theatre was crowded that night. The song was sung ; the auditors wero delighted; eight times it was called for and repeated. When the song was sung for the ninth time, the audience stood up and join ed in the chorus. Nigkt after night it was re ceived with great applause in tho theatre, and in a few days the song was to be heard in tho streets among men and boys. Such was the origin of "Hail Columbia." "Tho Star Spangled Banner," was written by Francis Key, after the bombardment of Fort McIIenry during the war of 1812. The verses were printed in ballad form and were scattered around the camp on Federal hill, Baltimore. One evening one of the mess picked up a copy and read it aloud to the soldiers. Once, twice and three times he read it, until the entire divis ion seemed electrified by its pathetic eloquence. An idea struck Fred Durang, an actor, who hunted up an old volume of fluto music, which was in a tent. Ho Impatiently whistled tune after tune as they caught his quick eyo. One call; d "Anacreoii in Heaven" struck his fancy and riveted his attention. Note after note fell from his lips. With a leap and a shout ho ex claimed: "Boys, I've hit it!" Getting a short furlough, Fred and Charles Durang sang it on the stage of the Holiday street theatre ; soon alter it was caught up on the streets and by the camp, nnd when peace was declared the song that had been sung by the soldiers at their bi vouac fire was carried home to thousands of firesides as the most precious relic of the war. Then came a song that will never die. I mean "Home, Sweet Home." The words of this song were written by John Howard Payne. He was a New Yorker by birth, born in 1792. Ho was a clerk in a counting-house, but at a very early age the boy's taste and talent for literature was noticed. In 1809 he appeared at the old Park theatre in New York as Young Norval, in his sixteenth year. He was very successful, but like many other precocious children, when he ceased to be little ceased to be great. George Frederick Cooke advised Payne to go to Eng land, which he did, where, for over twenty years, ho remained with varying fortune, as ac or and manager and play-writer. He wrote 'Brntus" for Edmund Kean, wiio played it wftli great success. When Charles Kemhle became manager of Covent Garden, Payne applied to Kemble for aid. Heollercd several manuscripts to Kemble for 30. The 30 were for "Clari; or the Maid of Milan." Kemble bought them all. Miss Mary Tree, sister of Ellen, who mar ried Charles Kean, first sang "Home, Sweet Home." The drama and song made a great success. Everybody made money except Payne, who not only lost the 25 ho was to get for the copyright on the twentieth night, but ho was not even complimented by a copy of his song. Payne wrote "Clari," in which tho song was introduced, as a drama, but Kemble got Henry Bishop to alter it into an opera and put the words to a Sicilian air as it now stands. Who is not familiar with "Old Do Tray, "Tho Swance lliver." "Massa's in de Cold.Cold Ground ?" But how many know anything about the extraordinary man who wrote them ? He must have passed unnoticed through the streets when from every lighted comert-room.'and from every familiar circle, from every hand organ or roaming ballad singer's lips, were poured lorth his irresistible melodies. Ho wrote between two and three hundred songs, and, although they are not of equal popularity and merit, yet I have to hear one which is devoid of meanhg in words or beauty in air. Stephen C Foster was the composer of the songs I mention. He was born in Pittsburgh, July , IfS- Ho was a musician almost from his cradle, and at the aee of seven he had mastered the flageolet with out a teacher. Every instrument in turn gave up its sweetness to his touch. To compose the words and music of a song was bis chief delight from boyhood. His first was m 1812. It was said that Foster received $15,000 for his songs. This is incorrect, for one publishing house paid him $20,000 for his compositions. His songs have been translated into most of the European and some of the Asiatic languages. I oster had a w ide range of culture, was an eager reader, nnd proficient in French and German. The few who became his intimates speak most enthusias TicaJly of his varied powers, but he was retiring and sensitive. Ho was somewhat of a painter and illustrated some of his songs with pictures. Foster spent the last years of his life m Jsew York, where the most familiar sounds of his own music was heard. - Mis. Maud Howe. The author of "The San Itosario Ranch" has acquired a great deal of what is known as "manner" through moving in the best salons of this country and Europe. For so young a woman Miss Howe is not more than 27, flatter ers would say 24 this manner is perhaps some what ovcraccentuatcd, and indicates a certain flourish of trumpets which the most heavenly endowed seraphs should avoid. The counte nance is wholly indicative of intellectual char acter; it is frank and open, and includes a chin of surpassing firmness. A woman with such a chin is ant to be cither obstinate or aetermined, and her friends prefer to call Miss Howe the latter- eves of violet-blue look out clearly from a white brow and the dark hair throws into re- " . .. , P flin onmnlexlon. It would net tne wniieirc - . ,j bard to decide whether Miss Howe should called pretty or fine-looking. The present er is inclined to the latter adjective, and perhaps his choice strengthened when he bers that the lady is rather tall. Her es not disavow the influence of reigning and yet it is sometimes distinctly tcr the pre-Kaphaelite, South Kcn ier. Slashed sleeves, a train fall t folds, and a suggestion of that 9 the cult, the sun-flower, have mpose her costume on the oo strect reunion. Hut it should t she was conspicuous by e reception given tieneath U Oak Glen in honor of - whom, in spite of rc nevcr was, could or iw, that the weird -nal men' tailor, oat of Nero, and '. has led to the nilon. there Newport .j st be at -i-sa Lusott, . York, New .nnsylrania. and .Ute. The millions in'i Tar Pyrnp. The , ranch and consumption, attleooro; HowlanJ, & Lowell, -'I ll lb attratk of oar lady mdm to lb Kivamt ia our rvlnmn. of Jama 1'ylrt Ariio. for kMOdry ood kiwbra arpi. Am mxttrtr m rpoUr and widrly eln-aUwd, mm poo. w-w m-rili lb I eo fW H to tho taror of bum keeper. 1IUM1IJTV, Tho tender (lowers dream not how iweet they Tho buttercup's woo hloHsom, bright and gay, That (reins tno meituow iiimi 'v'. Twinkling with dow at sunny break of day, Knows not how fair It miikes till quiet spot My heart it knowoth not, Itknowcth not! k ( ... h,a in ilia nasturo lane LIUo flukes of sunset dropped from somo rich cloud ... . , Oh, sweet, Indeed, but not with swoctnoss ,valn ; Nor Is the pasture of their presence proud Not for themselves they blossom, bud and They spring tobroatho to man tho peace of Ood. I never heard a songstor'l lay that told Of aught but simple joy and grateful pralso. Tho oriole, with throat ullamo with gold, DreaniB not ho Is a charm to mortal gaze. No bird to laud himself hath ever sung; His song Is for the flowers ho chirps among. The rainliow streaming o'er the silver mist, win, I.... hi inornliiff-clorlos bright, Where bv thelkMlng lips of sunbeams kissed, Tho airv clouJ&iluau Into colored light, Calls not 'for praiifei but In a littlo while Hides in the passing storm Its modest smile. Tho mountains, round whoso brows tho stars rejoice, ... , Whoso peaks nro hoary with eternal snow, Look up as if to listen for that voice That woke creation, centuries ago. Thinking perchance its might again may riso And hid their summits blossom to the skies. round their hiirht. And ask tho moon that with hor beauty great Boamson their silent winteness itirougu iuv If e'rofhey brcatho a whisper of their state ; Unmindful how the praising worm autmres, Thev noint to God and heaven their dazzling spires. Tim aim ti.nt ciio ii, ff uktes with summer calm, The stars that light unmeasured depths of space, , , T.ikfi (liatnnt. Kiina that flash reflected charms, When on the night Jehovah turns his face, ah tnese in numoieness tueir Kiurr , Grateful, not proud, because heaven made them fair. O vaunting man, go ponder on these things ! Think iviiat la itlnrv in thv Maker s view ? Who wins tho passing praise tho cold world sings, Not always earns the praise of heaven, too ; Thou mayst through life thy name with gods enroll, Y'et bear rebuke of angels In thy soul. Oh, to bo simple in the lives wo lead ! To know that what we hold Is not our own ! The lily is as modest as the weed, The mountain humble as the broken stone. Since man is proud, how wise it is, how just, That death should come to teach us we are dust! Ernest W Shurtleff in Youth's Companion. A BLAZING BOY. ASix-Yenr-Old Who Catches on Fire and Blows Himself out at Will.' As a reporter of tho New Orleans Times- Democrat was sauntering out In the vicinity 01 the fair grounds he heard a street urchin who was all doubled up in his efforts to get a better view through a crack in the fenco, say : "Little Jerry is afire again." Finding a knot hole, tno reporter closed it up with his inquisitivo optic, and saw a surprising sight. Sitting thereon the back cailerv of the little house, with his legs crossed and in a perfect state of nudity, was a big, fat, chubby boy enveloped in a flame of bluish light. He was literally on fire from the soles of his feet to the crown of his head. His feet were burning up freely as sticks of kindling wood; his fingers were lighted like so manvtancrs; his hair was blazing like a pile of fat pine shavings, and the liquid flames were running up and down his entire body, no sat there kicking his legs out, clutching at the flame, and laugliing at the -onsation it seemed to produce. Wken he wc;ild snap his eyes sparks like thoseproduccdh,- Striking flint with st2cl weuld fly out, and scaf jr in all directions. Then ho would rut his tongue out, licking up tho fire abound hi-thcn puff it out of his mouth in Jjets andVtrls as if it were smoke from a pipeV Thosiihp was truly a wonderful XtTJSKlv alitor, strong blow, and all was exthfcuishe'd as if by magic. The reporter was now flumfounded, but shortly re covered andougkt tbo front door bell. It was evidently a case requiringkinvestigation. Quite a handsome middle aged lady ar.swcred the ring, and, on being told the nature of the call, she invited the scribe in and told hip all about little Jerry. She said she was his mother, and that her husband, John L Hibbert, was still alive and doing conti act work on the railroad . Jerry , she said, was the youngest of three children, and was now 6 years of age. When he was born, his vey d& p carnation color was the cause of much uneasiness to both parents, but the doctor said that at the worst it could only be ccezma ; so as soon a. his consti tution would permit they commenced to rub him with all sorts of salves, ointmeius and lini ments, but Jerry'only became therdder after each application of the prescribed preventives. Then the physicians said it was some sort of hereditary complaint, but as no disease could be traced back as far as the great grandparents, it left to bo supposed that the family tree must have bscn sick at some period of antiquity, then reco vered only to break out again in littlo Jerry. Jerry, however, grew apace, notwithstanding the fact that he was laboring under the disad vantages of weighty medical opinions. Every month found him fatter and of a bright er vermillion hue, and by the time he was three years of age he was aglow with a red heat. Just about this time the nurse girl came in one morning screaming that Jerry was on lire, and she couldn't put him out. Tho mother ran to her boy, only to iind him in a circle of flume. Jerry was in full blaze, but was not being con sumed. Water was thrown over him, but to no purpose. Then thsy wrapped him in a blanket, but it was useless. Jerry continued to burn light along. The incident created quite a com motion in the house, und bathed tho ingenuity of the inmates. Just then, however, the door swung open, and a gust of wind came in, and Jerry went out. This was quite a relief, and gave time to send for a doctor. The doctor came, and on hea ing what had happened immediately sent for mure doctors. Consultation on the subject discovered a variety of medical theories and opinions, none of which, however, seemed to reach Jerry's case at least so far as curing it was concerned. The girl explained that Jerry at the time of the out burst was sittiHg on the floor, along which he drew his finger, calling her to look at the bright spot on the end. rfhe looked and saw the digit burning like a candle. Suddenly it took a run ning start and Jerry was completely in flames. Ever since that day Jerry has been subject to catching on fire, and teems to enjoy the act im mensely. A draught of air or a sudden pull' of wind always puts him out, which lie can do by blowing on himself. It is impossible to dress him np or for him to sleep in bed like ordinary children. His father has procured a small iron hedhtead for his use. He plays in the rain and stands cold weather without cither having the least effect on hira His mother laughed at the suggestion of exhibiting him in public, but will allow any one who desires to cull and see him at any time. The reporter called on several of the eminent physicians of the city, and although some of them have already examined the case, they were not prepared to pass any definite opinion on it. It might lie the mixture of some kind of gases, that in some unaccountable way got con fined under the skin, and that contact with the air caused to ignite. It might be a germination of fluid electricity, but nevertheles it is an ex traordinary case) and one that the faculty will endeavor to solve and cure if possible. Hi-wax Blood. On the pnrity and vitality of the blood depend the ik-r and health of the whole ytcm. Dtwane of vanoo kinds ia often only the is-n that nature if trvin to remove the dwturbioi; ew. A remedy that Hire life anl vigor to the blood, eradicate eerutula and olher im;uritie from it, aa Hood famaparilla nmloubleUly doe", ram be the meana of preveiilinl many diaeaea lhal would occur without it uae. told by dealera. Almnat every pereun baa aome form of arrafnlou poieob latent in hit eeiua. When this deve.opa in . . ..i m ar emotions, or takwa, th form of rheomatiMn, or oreauicd ianuea, the auffer- mT that enaoea u --.i(iuuu. Hence tne irrauiuue v. , thousand )early do, that Ayer a Mr.af.ari I la will inorongDIJ erautcaie " J Quinsv troubled me for twenty year. Since I kurted in lr Tlnxna' Eclectric Oil, hare not bad an attack. Tbe Oil cure core throat at once. Hit Lett Conrad, StonUish, Mich, Oct 2i, "hi. PURPORTS TOJII: PUN NY. A Little Nonsenao Now unci Then i Itol lahoii by lh WlHiiat Moll. ConifortliiKB lnete. Fnt your arms around me, dearest, Draw mo closer to your breast; , I am sad and very weary, On vour true heart I would rest. Minnie C Ballard. Don't despair, oh, dearest Minnie, With your request wo will comply; Wo will put our arms around you, And we'll kiss you on tho sly. Orange Observer. Mlnnlo, don't you be uneasy, Best your head upon this breast; But If your ringlets should be greasy, Don t soil our coat, but grease our vost. Kicbmond Baton. Mlnnlo darling, don't you do it. Those other follows won't be trtio ; Come to ns oh fairy poetess, We will see you safely through. THE l'OINT OF 11ON0II. It Is extremely refreshing to uotlco the fine sense of honor possessed by some of the rising generation in Virginia City. Recently two youths, each aged about fourteen, met on C Btrcet, when tho following dialogue took place : "I say, Bill, vou got my lenifo f" "No, I ain't." "'Bon ycr word ?" "'Pon me word." "Ton ycr soul f" "'Pon mo soul." "Hope vou may dio if you have ?" "Hope I may die if I have." "You ain't got my knife ?" "I ain't got your knife." The querist seemed to be still incredulous, but was on the point of giving it up in despair, when a bright idea occurred to him and he re turned to tho attack with, "Ton yer honor ?" "O," said the other, "now you touch me honor, take your danged old knife," and he handed tho article over. "Well done, Bill," said his chum, "I always knowed you was a honorable chap." Virginia City Chronicle. LITTLE FITCHEltS AND HIS BIO EARS. Young Johnny Jarplcy was inclined to bo a good boy, and his mother spent much time in instructing him in the enormity of the sin of telling falsehoods, and, to impress It upon him, wound up by tolling him that people who told lies choked to death. When the Kcv Mr and Mrs Muckle were taking dinner at Jarpley's,on a "return call," the next day, Mrs Jarpley asked her guest: " So, Mrs Muckle, you like my cooking ? " " It is splendid, Mrs Jarpley, just splendid," enthusiastically responded Kev Muckle's lady. "Mr Jarpley is fortunate in the possession of such an excellent cook as yourself." Just as the lady concluded she took a sip of water, and a few drops "goiug the wrong way," caused her to cough. " There she goes ! There she goes, mother ! exclaimed young Jarpley in great excitement. " 1 heard her say, when vou was out of the parlor, to Mr Muckle, ' she wished it was all over, as one of your dinners was enough to kill a mule, and she wondered how your husband had ever lived so long.'" Pittsburg Chron icle. THE SCHOOL BOY'S PROOnESS. Fond Parent Well, Johnny, how are you getting along at school ? Johnny Oh, first rate. I started on third, but I am on first now. Fond Parent Glad to hear It, my son. Al wayu try to be first. There is (illy cents for vour Industry. Johnny Ain't that nice! I'll try to get higher yet. Fond Parent Higher ? How can you be Tilrrhpv than firat? Johnny Easy enough. I can get to be short stop or pitcher. Philadelphia Call. HIS HEAD WAS LEVEL. A wealthy New York gentleman advertised for a coachman. Anion? those who applied for the position was ono who answered all the re quirements. "I will hire you for a year at fifty dollars a month." "The salary is all right, but; "But what"?" "I would like to ask you a question." "What is it?" "Are you president of any national bank, and do you speculate in Wall street ?" ( V liat 8 tuat to uo W'liu y uur uudiucbo t p in mi-, Well, vance." if you do, I want my wages 1 was the WHY SHE NEEDED HIM. " I should think yon would find that poodle verv inconvenient in traveling," said the board ing-house keeper to her new lady guest. " Guess vou never traveled much,!' v young lady's reply. " No, I never traveled much, but I should think a poodle would le very inconveuient." " On the contrary, I find the animal very convenient." " How so ?" " To chew boarding-house beefsteak for me. Paris Beacon. AVhy is lady's foot like a locomotive ? Be cause it moves in advance of a train. When a man is asked if he can speak aloud, what kind of savage does he name ? Cannibal. (Can I bawl.) A young lady says our genial school master is like the letter C, because he makes lasses into classes. If the good die early why are tho bad like the pupil of tho eye ? Because they die late (dilate). Plumed Knight rhymes with might, and Jas G Blaine rhymes with Maine, but what rhymes with New York ? If tho young man who left the poem : "I want to tie at rest," upon our desk will call In, we will see that he is accommodated. An exchange asks : "If a young lady were suffering from blighted affection, what flower would you give her ?" That's easy enough. Give her heart's case ? "Why has our genial shoemaker Streeter such wonderful power of endurance ?"' asked a wag ot the Reformer Monday. We gave it up. "because he holds on to the last" was tho reply as.he dodged the mucilage pot and" litout" for the American house, Said a voung lady, the other day.in coming from the photograph gallery, to a friend, "why would vou be justified in picking Mr Howe s pocket'?' "Give it up Mary;" was the response. Because he has picked your's (pictures). Then they went across to Cooper's and had an ice cream and tallied ladylingers. A lady sat in the editorial room waiting for the editor. She said ta the (tinny man : "I want to send a letter to the postoftlcc. Will yon please tell me, sir, where I can go for a boy?" Go to the devil, madam." "Sir!" she said, rising. "Ah, there he comes now. Lillis take that lady's letter to the postofiiee. "Wharyebin?"' ho asked, as tho other boy suddenly camo around tbe corner. "10 me doctor's !" "Fur ver mother ?" "No, fur me. 'What ails you?" "Tongue all coated. See there '" "What does that mean ?" "Heaps ! ..i,,.i.-wi th ntlir. "That means rhubarb to licgin on, and loaf sugar, sweet cake, a veloci pede, roller skates, aim a jiick-miuu, uouio get through ! Dou't you wish you was me ? GOSSIP AND INFORMATION, r. . i ,. -.7 ... 4i.a, i;A in n-fiif far nml vai llivuiuus ,uiui.n liu. iiv ... entrap unsuspecting insects have long been Known, isow i roi ixuni suunuj nau..,i.n .. .- . I. ..lin. nl 'l ii t 1'hn queer feature of tbe Btory is tb.it this bladder- J . 1 1.1.1 1 . tntivultll won lias uuuitiu uucu nuumi; m.iw-vv- I . , . a. a trwul T T the fish, nobodv surmising tliat it makes tbe u9u us own itKxi. lire i-rp uuu. -Li- . i it i i. .... !.!, tltair rtrrw teotors. An old poet notes that plants " are, Jrliillni, fmchnml l:lir:" l)Ut it is evident that some of them also eat fish. It ii said that the Kamtchatkans are dying out and that the race must soon become ex tinct. Kamtchatka is lanrer than France, and once had a population ot .jO.OOO, but there are now or.lr 6000 left and the mortality is great. The pr."iH3 live almost exclusively on fish. The country will not admit of agricnlture, and not Kauitrbatkan lives with an income ot over $1 year. Mrs Fran,4 Hodrson Bnrnett. the novelist. i-i familiarly railed by her Washinffton friends ' That Lav, 0' Lowrie's," from tbe book which has broucbt ber the greatest fame. Though Enelish i,r ,inh. she has resided o kmg in this country that she looks upon it almost as her native land. Mrs liurnett U still ronng. and wears her blonde hair in such s tongie that it i imp"v.l.le to tell whkh end grows on ber bend. 1)1 liurnett, her hnsband. has dark hair ami eye, very tine features and expression fill. J with intelligence and gondne. Their two chddren. boys of ehrht and ten. are beauti ful beyond compare, with starry brown eyes and luiT like tawny cokl. Tber live in the open air like vout.g "Aral, perfectly nntram-meled. A T0L0 HI TWO LETTERS. FROM THE SON : 'ioS " UeuUemen: Sly father resides at Glovor, Vt. lie has been a groat sufforor from Scrof ula, and tho Inclosed letter will tell you what a marvelous oll'oot , Ayer's Sarsaparilla has had In his ease. I think his blood must have contained the humor for at loast tea yoars ; but it did not show, exoept in tho form of a scrofulous sore on tbe wrist, until about five years ago. From a few spots which ap peared at that time, It gradually spread so aa to coyer bis entire body. I assure you he waa terribly alllicted, and an object of pity, when ha begau using your medicine. Now, thore are few men of his age who enjoy as good health as he has. I could easily name fifty persona who would testify to the facts in hla case. Yours truly, W. M. PHILLIPS." FROM THE FATHER: 'ZA a duty for me to state to you the benefit I have derived from the use of Ayer's Sarsaparilla. Six months ago I was completely covered with a terrible huma r and scrofulous tores. The humor caused an Incessant and Intolerable itching, and the skin cracked so as to causa the blood to flow in many places whenever I moved. My sufferings were great, and my life a burden. I oommenoed the use ot the Sarsaparilla In April last, and have used it regularly since that time. My condition began to improve at once. The sores have all healed, and I feel perfectly well in every rospect being now able to do a good day's work, although 73 years of age. Many inquire what has wrought such a cure in my ease, and I toll them, as I have here tried to tell you, Ayer's Saesaparilla. Glover, Vt., Oot. 21, 1882. Yours gratefully, lliBAii Phillips." Ateb's Sarsaparilla cures Scrofula and all Scrofulous Complaints, Erysip elas, Eczema, Bingworm, Blotches, Sores, Bolls, Tumors, and Eruptions of the Skin. It clears the blood of all Impu rities, aids digestion, stimulates the notion of the bowels, and thus restores vitality and strengthens tho whole system. ntEPARED BV Dr. J. C. Aycr &Co., Lowell, Mass. Gold by all twi'-irtst $1, six bottles for $5. ,U3 ot the Blood Liver int BeMlity. Curos all disorders resulting from 131 rUEITY OP THE BLOOD, includ ing all SCKOFULOUS DISEASES. Nine-tenths of all chronio and, temporary disorders are caused by disturbance of the circulation of tho blood which depends great ly upon the quality. If im pure from want of proper food, air, light, exercise, jChango of scene, or rrom overwork, tho whole sys tem feels it. Sometimes its li'mniirifv ifi indicated bv ono of the diseases named; sometimes by ogloomy,de spondentv dull, lazy feel ing commonly called implying lack of energy, liability, and general un- happiness. nothing is so mngical in its effects as this King of the Blood, a. once atonic and alterative, 'so called because it tones and alters the stagnant functions, and healthful activity results. Numerous testimonials tho genuineness which is guaranteed by our standing of- f. r. fZfiH i r nrwl full Hirpptinnfl 'can be found in the ' 'Treatise" acoompany- mg eacn DOttie. i-rice qpi per uuuw. ooiu by all dealers in medicine. D. Eavsom, Son & Co., Proprietors, Buffalo, N. Y. Send for treatiso. CatarrL Siiii w9 -OR- VERMONT MAMBR1.J0, This Young Stallion can be seen at the STABLE OF H. S. FROST, BELLOWS FALLS, VT. And will make the season here, from June 1, to Sept 1, 1884. Ho is now eight years old. Son of the fa mous Carnac; dam, Grey Mare Susie, recently 801U in xsorwicu, vi., iui xu auvuouh Hundred Dollars. She is sired by Pathfinder by old Morrill Susie's dam said to lie by AVitherell's Messenger Pathfinder as is known is sire of several trotters, among them Rattler in the 2.30 class. Carnac (old) as is well known, was one of if not the best bred stallion in New England. No horseman can see his colts as they come to full maturity, without being compelled to acknowl edge they are wonderful animals. Vermont Mambrino (or Carnac, .Tr) is 1.") 1-2 hands, dark bay, black points, no white, full mane and tail, weighs 10"i0; like his sire, a wonderfully intelligent horse of best disposi tion, magnificent action, very fast ; (at his sec ond drive on the track, he trotted in a fraction less than three minutes.) His pedigree shows him possessed of the best strains of Ashland Mambrino blood. For further particulars and full Tedigree send to me. I however much prefer to see horsemen and breeders personally, that they may see this royally bred, magnificent horse, and see his ac- Ternis : 10 to warrant a foal, payable April 1st, 188o. There will bo no variation from these terms. 10ml' II. S. FROST, Bellows Falls, Vt. WLLuoH'S COMPOUND OF PUR COD LIVER ATT AVn T TTTT? b. uiu am .ux.uj.jLi. To The Consumptivea.-Wilbor's Compound of Con Liven Oil and I.m, wlthent pooaine the nuwatine flavor of the article ms heretofore uned, in endowed by the l'hophate of I.irae with a he:Uin property which render the Oil d.ub t eilicacion.. gold by A. B. S iibor, Chemiat, iioaton, and all dnieeiptn. S3 EVAPORATING BUSINESS fully explained. Free circulars containing information interesting to all, and describine the SCIENTIFIC EVAPOR ATOR, manufactured in three sizes, by THOMPSON", WILCOMB & CO., N. Jb. Agents bcientinc Evaporator to-. Chester, (Uockineham Co) N. 11. Agnta Wanted. 3m39 nriiTO wrri:i to si ii, AOtniO "LIFE THE OF WENDELL PHILLIPS. ' (he only antborired ediiHa. AIM, for our "HOM K IOCTOR," pnmooneed by the preaa to b, tbe beat and cheapen mediral work rabltahed, fend for circular. WILSON BROd, 1 kilby gt, Bostoa, Maw. wbf44D VALLEY MILL CO. Grain Feed. Wholesale Agents- yiGGIN'S UREKA 'ALT. We have just reeeivedanothcr car of Pillsbury's BEST Flour. And we are selling it very cheap ; don't buy a barrel until yos get onr prices., We have a few more of those S801b Sacks Salt Fori: . 85c. Left. The cheapestSalt for cattle &e. iiiiii miii to. Near Depot Ball Itoad Crossing. Fire Insurance. Invite attention to their Companies, which are tuaranteed to be STRONG AS THK STRONG EST. Among these the Continental Fire Ins. Co., OF NEW VORK, HAS ASSETS OF 84,500,000 A Safety Fund of 81,200,0 and conducts its business under the .ety Fund Law ef New York. Would call attentun of Insur ers to this and other strong Companies. ALSO Accident and LIFE Co's. TENEMENTS TO LET. Real Estate sold on Commission. SHERMAN & JENNL. (If HSCST KINDS), ASB PRICES VERY LOW. Look at Ours Before You Buy. G. F. THOMPSON & CO, June 20, 1884. 45w3. PHOTO GllAPHERS Bank Block, c. Cet the Bestfrom the Oldest Established House in the State. BY MERIT WE'TROSPER. Estnlilwbed 1852. BUY THE BEST ! AMP DEN PAINT & COLOR CO'S reIi ilVSSUS SPRINGFIELD. MASS Sample Cards farni.hcd upon npplicatioa EVFKT OXF. who O W n XV A COS Mr ATS i it. t. l FoKI up lite an Fmbrello. 'jPUiPn on or put en m a mtQ i ate;:. V fcle in izes to Gt btut nc vv:on;, pipiire wapons. tratl circular nl price list. "Aftvntu wontvd etcrTwhera 0. G. F EERS & G3,pt - xaotiTUook.coiu; aT. FID n rmr Ilk bYE'sTM ( K..R. Ansa. I ELECTRO VOLTAIC BELT, and other FLK-nno Li An-LiAm. We will wnd on Thirty Iar Trial. TO MEN, YOrNt? OR OLD. who in .aflVn'ne from N savor. rtn.iTT. Lost Vitalitt. nd thorn diaamac of a Personal Kattur rrcnltlnir frot Abuses and OTKEECAraBa. SptedT relief nd poni pleto reatoration to Health, Vioob and Makhood OtTAaAMTEED. SendatoaeeforllliutrateUPaiupblct fro. Addrara Voltaic Belt Co., Marshall Mica. . H. MERKIFIELD, President. M. SIIEUMAX. becrcta. teoslLeai ai Tut Co. GKAXD FOHKS, DA OTA. Xejottatora of Red River Valley Farm Loans Boerinir to per cent interest net. Full nnnu-Dlars ami rtrrn-o urnisM on application. CormpondeDcc aolieitod. lyr8 AGENTS WiNTED si,l0 FEK DAT CUUBID en Lb Kiw.gTAKnABD and Most Salable Articles in the World. 8nd for circular and be cojmsf to. Direct to COSCORPIOTELTT C M4wtf Concord, A H.