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REFORMER: BRATTLEBORO. VT.. FRIDAY, JULY 24,1896.
wm vntllfllVIII "OL. XX. NO. 52. " Cut Down Expenses." i u 4 i 4 i ''A U U a y . n M M a M A woman knows what a bargain really is. She knows better than a man. " BATTLE AX "is selected every time by wives who buy tobacco for their hus bands. They select it because it is an honest bargain. It is the biggest in size, the smallest in price, and the best in quality. The 5 cent piece is almost as large as the JO cent piece of other high grade brands. PRESIDENT Hon. E. A. Hall, VICK-PRBSIDKNT, Hon. L. J. Glnn. HAVK THE SAFKST AND MUST. NATURAL PREMIUM TREASlliER, GKO. E. Hogkks. SECRETARY. II. O. Edgehton- EQUITABLE POLICY. UXBF.lt MASSACHUSETTS INSUKANCE LAW Greenfield Life Association MASSACHUSETTS. OF HOME OFFICE. (.IIKICM IKMl. MASS. We Insure only Urst-dnss rinks, thereby cffeellnfc o snvintr for (he policy holders. Our vmllev holders are aagtireil the full lieiieili of their imvmenu by a United Kxpunsc Fuml. Our rate's are based 1111011 the experience of the oldest coiiipanles iliiinir Insurance business, thereby guar- ireinliitii rate. Our rates r the Coumanr at a cost of Line Companies. OUH DIHABIL.ITY PEATUHE. One-half the face of the policy is paid in cash while living. In case of the total disnblMtv ot the iiiBiircd. Write to the Homo oillce, tireeiilleld, Mass., giving your ago and address and fliul out the cost of a pulicy not exceeding .rj,000. ..... .. u1.u ,n,: ,-AiriR-in-citf ii i v (in icsi com jmn ies ii( uug insurance i anleelng the prompt payment of all elaluis and assuring an euuitalile nrei give perlect satisfaction ami guarantee the soundness and perniaucy of tl j a less inau cuargeil ny ui EDUCATIONAL. Vermon Academy fAXTONS RlYER, Vt. Those going away to school should send for the catalogue oi VERMONT ACADEMY. Fine buildings In an Men. location, ft large able forte of tea' hers, ampin and up-to-daie courses of iiiHtruction, grariuation lit aninir. aim Art, a TeaolMiis' Course that leads ton ceitiuVate without examination, a Military Department Under a Regular Army Olllcer and a delightful school home with a many sided culture are to ne nan at VERMONT ACADEMY. Address Mention paper. IIO.MKK V. BRISTOL, Principal. filmosS State Normal School. CASTLETON, VT. ABEL E. LEA VKN WORTH, A. M., Principal. A fall Corps of efficient teachers. Free Schol arship. Send for circulars. The next term begins August Is, 1M. M The best on earth. Book-keeplnir, Shorthand. Typewriting, Telegraph v ami Mechanical liraw lug arc a few of the nianv liniwliiw that are most thoroughly taught by the best teachers that the country alfords. Competent assistants for business men. lirailn.nes iiirinsueu win. itimmI iu.uitl..na i !ar fure free to studutlts. tax Caulogiva, address, THOS. M. SHIELDS, Prln., lltf 7S rourtb St., Troy, N. T. The White Plume of Henry of Navarro guided his army in battle; anil the KeJ Cross on Johnson's Hki.i.a donna I'i.asteks means Unit they are excellent nliove others; they lead tlio way. For all weakness, pain, ami every ailment capable of exti mill treatment, they are standard. Try tin m and lciirn what a perfiH t planter in. Hunt genuine without the lied ('rum. JOHNSON .IOIINSON, Manufacturing ChemislB, New York. , , M rklrhtatrr'a Eaali.h Suani Bran. PENNYROYAL PILLS Wrltpmm. mma -my tcnvintb safc, aiwuTi rtiiUtle. ladiis Uru7Kin for (HicMrr iVtiptu ma-. m,md tirniid Id Hid BDrt mrUiUO iet. "tofl wlih bin ribbon. Tak i oil. Krtmif tlanaertmM Moai4fu- - turn and imitation: A t DrauUIs, r Mid 4. in ffthtnpi fur iwrttflulnri, ieHnH)Dtlt ul Itelluf for l.tltmM in Utter, bj return fialrl by ul Lowl OrufiguU, fHUaMfc. fa i ; - - m eyou III FARMERS can make money ny aeiung ana umns; il.DFAST orn Blndera,uaed on every shock. Full and It's last. Tien itwir. tosta lew thanntritiR. rs ever wears ouu i noua- anOM easily wnain a iown. wuwi jjiwhi. et your town acency uuw. ouunw., THE REFORMER: BRATTLEBORO, VT., FRIDAY, JULY 24, 1896. THE CHAPERON. tUM Lunl Troubles, IVbiUtT. diMrMrtnj omeli M ST,!!.iiu1i. nd is Doled tor mrtilig tupm hn s'l.atbar trrftltnfnt fails. Evprr molhpr .tid invlid ahonia aj J8 PARKER'S UAI0 BALSAM ClmiM ud benifiM th Bate. innu a Inuriant VTOWtll. Hover rails to Beaton Orj Con. Kalp diwue. tt h.ir fliof. HINDERCORNS ThKinlysiirs COTfnt Race 8ecor(12:15. Sire Madison Wilies. 2:24 3-4 By Gaorge Wilkes, :n: dam. Lady Maude, by Young Trustee. t i I I I I . . I . C'-V, ;G a rir ll lllV in col- L.iiKien was rosiiru jiny , - s. t Or stance . r. ami eith DOUImJs. lie IS OI Kfhd disposition and his conformalion is of Ihe best. Linden has proved himself a (-.line race horse, and his record of a: 151a no limit of his speed, as he has re peatedly shown quarters in 11 seconds. He took Urn premium over all Stallions at the Valley r air, brallle fcoro, Vermont. l8ua and also 1805. He ' vcrT tractive horse, and has many adniirers. , . Linden will mak. the season of 189 at nrallleboro Vl., o. the Fair Erminds, where he can lie laller May 1st. Ke will be in chareeof C. C W inchester, -No. 1 Chwsuiut St., Bratlleboro, wbo now has hun al his stable. , ... ... M Linden is gelling some very nice colts which, will no doubt be heard from later on. Terms W, with aMa! rrtara prlvllet-- c irculars sent on application, eivine pr,lisree, &c Address, J. K, TURK, ' Hnlvoke. Mass. No. 1 Chesw- 1. liral'lelioro. Vt. 37BHKI The Cilt Edge Butter Co,or. l-l . ) GIvm Butter T h QT Bright llen Color. I lldnUriufe'sBIglTices. Write Us TP vmir mer- tliant banli" 4 gut tt, r i yon don't.- Vknow or im. f iiicrltH. a rl. lndj.llllf wnt 1 will lirti'ff i you H-Tlft 1 Ham Pe. AGENTS WANTED AnRK8 I N. S. CAPEN BRANDON, - ft SON, EBMtlST. T.kra fram tht rsa Pock!. (RlanrinR at tickr-t. but we don't stop at that Conductor "Sorry, sir, Kether water "What place? Conducts "Green'". he broker's."-! I5ost..n Traveler. pawn 1 rn 1 in RFSTdRED MANHOOD I DR. MOTH PILLS te Vb, rr, rVTTl tn rr rmti'e vnrn ol'Vfr "''. . Kmtiona.TonUif nl Kmira ' Inn or iak jr. --- . sr.-tcf O r tu1um. w Qc .-.. , .k-uuuk nu wujw JZZmm-- mm.. it leu at DDaei iio wromm. Joan wua writing letters on pale piulc note pgpor. She hud flnib-ued three and thero were nine mote to be done. ' "If it wan't for my new muslin I would try to bear it so stoical Ir ' uhe ditid, and atnudRed a line with ber sleeve; "but the thought of the was ton moor in these frills will embitter iii.v vtuoie existence bother I" The concluding expletive was called 11 tuny tne jollies woren't aiado" i;ii niuu. mats what I mind nioBt the pineapple one was really beyond I - Al. a . tti armcnair there was a wet miiuKiirriiiei anu a erutuplod girl in a it s wlt'Hed," she BB id ' it'a emnl "the onl- pleasure of my holidays. I've u.ccuiuu ounui n every nignt. And Bunooi next weoic. No boats, no any "Ho'ther!" uoitn nati smudged another sheet, one pusnecl the desk away pettishly. u I. no.t B'iB to write any more of me nnrriu tilings." "If. on.v yu weron't such prudes, tno gin in the armchair said. "Do you imagine you're in a box and all Australia m leveling its opera glasses at you who'd care?" lou'reonly a silly girl, Thoa- ininK or. tno people we've asked uy, uio ueianey girls would faint at iuu lima ot a picnic without a chuoe . 0 ,m UUIP ,or Lo you Hurtle T'. . . " s...,.n a 111 uui UN UiBHIlDOlDinil Bfl vnil nro" ' ri-t, .1 . auu IHUUIU luev nflfl nlnnnarl onri dreamed of, cooked for, lived for, must mo inni iiiiiitieni oe aoclared off. ine lady who was to hnva hpn,.nn. ea tne party had been inconsidorate enout'n 10 sprain her ankle just when uii Hrmneement nad been r-nmn atari iry as tuov would thnv r.,,,,1,1 n.,t fill up the place and amcne all their acquaintances in the district there was not one married v r,l,i;;,,i uisengitgen enough to come and play ,...,., ,oi.r nit lueui on snort notice. ru-r iniiiur unu mornnr runt anna .. rn...:..j . , m . fc mi iiiriHtiuus trip to Tasmania, and given permission for the picnic, only i.n.viuuu it whs Huuaoiy Caiaperoced. wieariy, inoy couia not go without a lady of a certain age, more espe cially as it would be a public holiday, and the Tarramatta river would be alive with holiday makers. "I'd like to know what good they do, 'Ihea said in a voice so withering in hi oven ner tears enncked them selves. "Why, last holiday at the uresliam e Picnic, there were thr chaperons; but it did not prevent our uaca irom squeezing Wollie Alton s hand, for 1 saw him." uur Jack"entered jUBt in time to catch the last sentences and to pro jflct a sofa cushion at the speaker. Sboep dog, at your service", be said and minced across the room. He was dressed in a long skirt of his motheiB with a fashionable jacket left unbuttoned and a boa of black lace around his neck. There was a gray, amazingly natural looking wig on his head and surround ing it a black jet benoet with an aigrette and long strings. A veil and pair of eyeglasses and a languid smile complntud his "get up," Thea fell upon his neck, regardless of the diflident security of the bonnet, "You darling." Bhe soUied. "Oh. you dear boy, you, trump, you brick Jack. " And that is how it happened ttiat the party was chaperoned bv a clean shaven boy of 22. They introduced Dim as Aunt ii,mnielina, and he bowed beautifully or shook their bands silently and murmured correct little society nothings. Hut at iirst Aunt femmeliaa con sidered had been unfairly used. The girl had eaiil Kather Hardess, present goddess of their brother some what unstable affections, could not possibly come, as she had caught the measles from her little brother and was in bed. But when the morning came and the people began to asseaible at the big bouse on the hill, in walked Esther in a cool, white drees and a sailor hat Joan introduced them. "My dear friend, Ksthor, A tint Kmuielina, " "I heard you had the measles, my dear," Aunt Kmmelina said, in a thin, old voice. She retained the hand, in its wbite suede glove, with all the solicitude of a chaneron of 40 years' standing. "Oh, no, it was Edith who caught them my sister, not I, Esthej said. She managed to get her band away and moved across the veranda, to be instantly surrounded by tbeofficers and the bank clerk. Aunt Eminelina went though tbe French window into the breakfast room, a sulky look on her nice old face. Aunt Emmelina stood in moody silence, her back to the tireless gtate. They came in, all arms and legs ana beaming smiles. "Where's your corkscrew?" she said. vny, wnai b iiib uianer. Jack?" The last word was whispered. O. confound it all," Aur.t ftmme- lina said, and pushed up bor veil, regardless of consequences. Thea went up to Dim una put ner lips to his ear. lts's fcstner, isn't itr bhb wiu. Mind your own business," he answered and turned sharply on his heel forgetful of bis dress tail. Cut Thea followed bun up.. "Sometimes chaperons kiss the girls good -by," she whispered, and tied oat again among tho others. Aunt tmmeiina put ner veu um carefully, she arranged her curia with diligence, and set her bonnet straight. There was a smiie id ner eje uo biad the glasses. After bII there might be some enjoyment iD the position. Esther had evinced careless uire- gard for hia ardent admiration lately though once she had received it almost graciously. 3 JacK ne wouiu n uu pushed aside to make room for the squatter of whom he Had suspicions Imnlr larlr Aa "Aunt Emmelina" lie migni nave i.o f,.i;,.iiv of touch ins that wntte, beautiful hand of hers often ; he might tan nut hia arm around ner wmm m , niiklharlv Icind OI VBV. u.. i,av m.t nut And aurelv in all the annals of chaperondotp there had never been quite such a caring, genne, - r, no n il lutlV as AUCI Jiu- ,s. i n f. .ml nit here, mv dear," she said, as Esther was guided carefully fho l..j.t bv the bank clerk. rl toll me about poor little brother." .. Esther took the plac" rather unwil linglv. She had promised to sit on the same" neat at the squatter while the bank clerk rowed. There were three other boats, and Jack had im tbat the good rowing men were equally distributed in them In bia own, however, the bank clerk waa a ery poor oarsman, and the squatter a great deal out of practice, ho they were left eoroewhat tiebiad. Juet past Hunter'a hill a great aail-j iog boat came bearing down apoa of to thum and a steamer was closo behind but no one had noticed such dotal until it wub almost too Into, Then the bunk clerk grew pale and splashed fiantically with his oars and tho girl with tho steering lines lout her head and forgot which Bide shu should pull The young Deluney girl with beau tiful wisdom stood up in her pla and screamod. Euther gave a little gasp and clung to tho friendly arm beside ber, But Aunt Emmelina ttirust her rutighly aside and almost fell across the boat to the middle sent. Slip, swept tbe bank clerk out of his place into a feeble and astonished hcita, seized the oars, and with a couple of power fill strokes swung tho boat round out oi danger. Arte ward the bank clerk hatl a con fused remembrance of being called confounded young Idiot, and he re sented it with an air of digniliei surprise toward tho chaperon for th rest of the day. Aunt Emmelina resigned the oars to tho squatter when they were in clear water again, and seemed much troubled because sbo had burst her black kid glovos. She smiled at the surprise of the party at her act, aid said simply she had been used to the management boats since hor earliest youth. When tho meal was over Ann Emmelina felt vory much what is pop ularly known ns "out or it. " Aunt Emmelina was dying for smoke. If she could have talked Esther she would bavo sacrificed the desiro, but as it was she merely an athematizod the squatter and kept fin goring the pipe and tohaeco pouch sbo had carofully put in her pocke until Bhe could resist no longer. Would you like to come out in boat with me, my child?" she said, at ast, gently, to Thea who was feeling Bomewbat exbauHted after a prolongod attack upon cream cakes. Everyone remarked how woll the old atly pulled and Ella waved a relieved frir.iwell from the shore. Aunt Emmelina rowed at a rate that weuld have fairly electrified the picnickers could they have seen. Then she gave tho oars to Thea, bus bided into the bottom of the boat, I milled ber pipo and had a luxurioue smoko that soothed her injured fee! iuea and rullled nerves into placidity again. It isn't many others would do what I've done for you girls," she said, ub Thea pulled bank again some hours later Two or three of the girls, Esther among them, had strolled some dis tance away and were standing on bowlder, idly throwing stones in the dancing water and watching the circles. A frightened scroam btoke the hot, quiet air over the river. Two of the girls were running frantically about and the third was struggling in the water. They all knew by the sailor hat bobbing about that it was Esther, The squatter gave an answering shout and started running at a great rate, taking otf his coat as he went Hut Aunt Emmelina shot along in front of him. Her skirtB were gathered up n a rough bunch under one arm, her bonnet hung down her back by the strinKB, her glasses tumbled off, her hair wabbled about and fell in a gray mass over her shoulders. Jack knew himself to be bo mean swimmer, but the skirts langleu ins feet am) the tight jacket held his arms. Tbe squatter was only a few yards behind. Jack stuck out wildly and made rapid pace. But sonieiiuoy seized him under the arias and he struggled for a moment to free himself from tbe jacket. It was ono of the officers, a Detler BWimmer than either of them. My dear madame," he panted, holding him in a firm grip and trying to swim back wini him, put your hand on my arm so, Urown your grandinoiiier I sput tered Jack, swallowing a pint of water, as ho freed himself. 'Can t you see who I am?" The squatter was ahead ot mm. lie trod water for a second and flung off the jacket that bound his arms. He gained on the squatter. lie re ceived the splash from his circling boots full in tho face, and tho temp tation for water leap-frog was too strong to bo resisted. He trod water again, came up Me ind his enemy, planted his feet on bis shoulder and sent bim downward with tho greatest good will and energy Hulf R dozen more strokes and be was alongside Esther. "Jack oh, dear Jack oh, Jack," she said, hysterically, as bis wet beam ing face bobbed up beside her bead, thi.t he was trying to keep fiat on the water ir a floating position. "It's all right, little girl, "he said, re assuringly. "Everything's all right now. Vou'ro as safe as a church. " There was a gonoral roar of laughter as Jack climbed out and lifted Es ther from the water, little the worse for her adventure. Ho had left his bonnet and his wig and his jacket in tho water and appeared in a white flannel shirt and long, dripping skirt. Jack unfastened the hook and he kicked them off and stood before them attired in his boating flannel. "Thank heaven," he said, with pious fervor. Then an adjournment was muile for drviiic purposes to a cottage close by, and Esther submitted without protest to tlio supporting arm of ber recurer. The rest of the day was confusion and merriment, but there were five white minutes at tne end that spread out afterwards over tlin whole lives of two people. linn- pan I ever thank vour" r.stner said, and blushed beautifully, for she knew quite well tne way sne cotno. In a book," Jack whispered, "tne hero and heroine would be sure to HERE AND HEBEAFTEB. It is not as bard to see the right aa to.want to see it. Every compromise wth evil is an ap peal to bell to coins to heaven'B rescue. It is a common saying that God has little use for a discouraged man. Many a man wbo claims that char ity begins at home lets hia wife saw the wood. believing and tru sting are the two things necessary to the banishment of all doubts and difficulties. The mua who has no use for the golden rule ia a horse trade, bad bet ter be watched every where. Who stoops to compromise takes the responsibility for results oft of God's shoulders and places it on his own. Of two evile. deliberate wickedness cboosoH both, expediency chooses the loss, and straightforward righteousness chooses neither The pleaMtntest things in the world are pleasant thoughts Mild the great thing in life is to have as many of them as possible. Are there doubts, trials, here? Is tbe work hard? Think ef the things that are above . No doubts, no diffi culties up yonder. Usuallv the crnnrpnt hnnnlar.4 nrn the smallest" workeis. Tho deep 'riv ers pay a mrger tribute to tne sea man the shallow brooks, and they empty themselves with less noise . Life Is short, and we have never too much time for eladdenine the hearts of those who are traveling tho samo dark journey with us. O, be swift to love, mako haste to be kind. Prayor should accompany all Chris tian work. I'ray before you plead. and pray while. you plead. This is absolutely essential to the truest, highest suecess. As good Dr. Guthrie says, "Man can as well live physically without water as spiritually without prayor." bxperience toaches us tbat the praying worker is the successful worker, G I.I M I'SES OF LI FK. All She Wanted. A Saotch woman was returning I tntin from a market town, where she had made a few purchases. Just as tho last bell rang a fussy gentleman elegantly dressed and with a "mind thyself looking face, rushed into the compartment, flung himself hastily mo a corner, pulled out an evening paper and proceeded to dovour its con tents. Hardly had he become Bcated when the woman timidly addressed him, " I am very, sorrv, sir, but" "I never listen to beggars," fiercely nterrupted tbe gentleman. "If you annoy me further, I'll report you." 1 lie woman's eyes flashed, then twinklei. She said no more, and the Id gentleman retired, with an angry frown, behind his paper. All weat merrily as a marrtaoe bell ntil the train arrived at Urolade, when the "auld wife," out, again addressed the dividual in the corner, "I car na, sir, whether ye report me or no, but I want that pound of butter ye'vo been settin' on for those last six miles." (I'easron's Weekly. Safe "Sola." I overheard the following conversa tion on a Market street car yesterday between a couple of young men : 1 tokl you that fellow Moore was a scoundrel and I told him yesterday." You did?" and tho other eom- nieasnd looking his friend over for evidences ef a conflict. "What did he ay?" - Uh, 1 didn t listen to him. Told him he was a liar, a thief and a scoundrel, and that I would punch his ui bo if he said a woN to me." " What did hd do?" "Nething; ho is a coward. " "I don't believe that. I have seen im tight at tbe drop of a bat. Didn't he say a word back?" 1 don t know. 1 bung up the telephon . " A romwltmrait Iudecd. He I'm going to pay you the igbest compliment a man can pay to woman. She This'is so sudden. lie I know it, but I came away ithoat my pocket-book caa you ieBtl mo a dollar until to-morrow 7 Recommended n it ky Physicians. Horsfordk Baking Powder is itself a Nutritious Food. No other powder has this quality. IF YOU INSIST on getting the best quality of every thing, you will insist on getting THE HANOVER CRACKER when you buy crackers. Of unex celled purity and sweetness, thev make friends with everyone the first time they taste them. "HANOVER" crackers are always fresh and crisp because they are never exposed to the air. They are taken direct from the oven and securely packed in strong, durable cartons they thus reach the consumer without being handled by a second party. it the airr grocir kicp thim. GEO. W. SMITH & SON, Bakers and Confectioners, WHITE RIVER JUNCTION, VT. OIL STOVES ! One 2 and 3 Burner Oil Stoves For 30c, 65c, $1.00, SI.50 and $2.00 Each. Extra large tin Oil Stove that Every Stove guaranteed or money refunded oven, with inside lining, for $1.25. Also, a new burns kerosene oil the same as gasoline. These Stoves put out on trial. Prices less than half the cost f Gasoline Stoves. Xo. 9 Tin Wash Basin, with copper bottom, for $1.00. Dish ' I T) 1 i' 1 a 1 1 . . 1 . lIA- (IE. J O f . 1 .. VI n stepping "us mnuu in uesi cnarctmi tin ihuic, 2uc, ami due : incse aic an churlish in-I croud rrnods and wnrrnntpd. i. - 53 Main Street, Brattleboro, Vt. marry after such an adventure and live happily to the end of their lives." Uu I saiu x-suiur. "And the heroine would be abso lutely csrtain to reward tbe br witn a kiss." 'After all, it's only Aunt JMiime- lina," she said, with a trentming Imiirh. a her litis totiehed his. Then she fled away down the gardes- path after the others. . He went into the house again, giddy with his midden happiness." 'What did 1 tell your" said Thea dropping the corner of tbe window blind with a triumphant smile. (I'earson's Weekly. A Note of Warning. CL th. T miiM mmk an load that all would bear what fT..riiut I have as do-tir. buffering that i caused lr can-lexs oetrlect of the kiJney In tlimw lv of ex citements there's no lmn rxta-ie? wmwe kidney m notnt timeaouirworne.1. liter need watrhfnir. don't wait till it t. W kLKEH S K1DXEV. l'tlTLd will keep them in rir. I will ladlr f ive adviee free. Write me. I have hiindreildof letters I ike this. Idure, IW UOOIIU. aj.. m " . I was ma on bjr a team town tea year, ago a kulnen wen strained: woce inen nave occa tronblra with wettinc the bed. Two ooacs si ar pill, lure cntirelf curea ne. t , I cannot thank jam enough lj yowr wwloWOl arde - Voar.trnlT.Hennr uw".iiii".n ". rill, la. allaw t rr-n' UlflVrent Canae. Aaalglled. Never caught a thing!" declared the old man. "Never got a deent ite. (lot up before daylight" and rode and walked 10 miles, spent $3 in fare and $5 for sandwiches and rum and never tcched 'em. Fishin' ain't hat it used to be, anyhow," he con tinued, mournfully. "We uesd to go round New lorlc 'most anywhere aud bring in a good mess. Now you can't bring anything but a jug. How do you aoount "for it?" I inquired, sym pathetically. "The bicycle,' said he. Wba-atr vtliat in me worm nas tne cycle cot to do with it? "I don't now everybody says it's the bicycle. on see. tne luKe nas just everlasting ly kaocked the spots out of fishin an everything else so they say. Few vear aeo it was the Sherman law. Then it was the McKinley law. Nest year it will be silver. Just now it is the bicycle. Splum discouragin, but I spoee weve got to Btand it. (Pitts burg Dispatch. Her Guess: "Now, Eleanor, you weigh l.'W pounds, and the weight gauge on Hie hammock registers HOO nontids. Where did that other 171 pounds come from?" "From New Vork, I think. "-(Life. Clear case: "Do you ride a wheel?" asked the eldest of the doc tors on the Insanity Comtuisssion. "Vep," answered the subject "What make?" "I never noticed." The verdict was unanimous domentia. (Cincinnati Enquirer. Brown : I never Bee Mrs. Snook now. used to be sweet on her, but she was quite uneducated had not even learned the rudiment of grammar. Smith : Hadn't she though? I hear she knew enough to decline an ass, though. Dainty Pora "Sussie wivs shel' nevsr wear her bloomers on that horrid Mr. Goltlie's yacht again," Sweetest .Susan What's the reason?" "Why, she says that just as soon as he saw her coming dow n the dock he called out in a real loud voice to the crew to let loose the sukcr." Cleveland Plain Dealer. " Tes," said the principal of the young ladies' seminary to the proud parent, " you ought to be very happv. my dear sir. to be the father ot so large a familr, all the memliers of which eviu to 'he so devoted to one anotlier." "Ijtige family! Devoted! What on earth do you mean ma'am?" 'Why,yes indeed.' said the principal, beaming through her glasses. "No less than eleven of Uussie's brothers hare been here this w inter to take her out sleigh ridine. and she tells uie she exeets the (..ii ono with blue eves again to morrow." Children Cry for Pitcher's Castoria. Mr., htowe'. Modesty. (MrB. James. T. Fields in Ihe Aug ust Atlantic. ) MrH.Stowe was never afflicted with a personal consciousness of her repu tation. Late in life she was accosted, in the gardeu of her country retreat by an old retired sea captain. 'When 1 was younger," said he, respectfully, " 1 read with a great deal of satisfaction and instruction. ' Uncle Ti m's Cabin. ' The story im pressed me very much, aud 1 am happy to shake hands with you, Mrs. SJtowe,who wrote it " "I did not write it, answered tbe wbite haired old lady gently. "You didn't?" be ejacu lated in amazement. "Why who did then?" "God wrote it," she replied simply. "1 merely did his dictation. 'Amen said the captain, reverently, as he walked away. Mulman. "I often hear people speak about brain work being so aw fully hard; it doesn't appear to be so. Cutter "Of course not ; to men of your calibre brain work is easy." I Toron to Kecord. When Baby was sick, we gave her castoria. When she was a Child, abe cried for Castoria, When she became Mbs, she cluug to Castoria. When -iL'-c Child' she gave them Castoria, W.H.HAIGH, Custom Tailor, Elliot Street. Dresd aid Bnsines Snitins, Light Overcoatings. Trowserings. and Fancy Vests, FOK Spring Wear In all the latest Styles, AT REASONABLE PRICES. The very latest ideas and everything in the f line Tef Trusses with 30 years ex perience in fining them. HEYNE TRUSS ! Every Truss warranted to fit or money refunded. GEO. E. GREENE, lK LEGIST. FernoBl Loan & Trosl Co. 6 1-3 PER C-EKT. Farm and (Hy IMnrtairet for Investors. Saving Bank aud Truat Companies. Paid I p Capital, - $175,000 Sarala, - SO.tJO" GENERAL OFFICES: Brittle tioro. Vermont, (rand Fork.. North Dakota. Spokane, Waahhiftoa. KSTWritt tor acw IM of loaoa. STOVES AND RANGES. I have in Btock over fifty stoves and raages that I am going to Bell regard less of cost as 1 want to make room for for plumbing goods at once. These are first-class ranges, and the best assort ment Highland Grand ranges, Hub ranges made by Smith & Anthony Stove Co., household rusges, Barstow Stove Co's ranges and a nuuibsr ot other raages. All ofjtlie above ranges are first class and every range war ranted, the prices will be marked down for spot cash. Now don't let this chanee go by as you never will have such bargain in Brattleboro again on ranges. Don't forget the place. P.Fleming. No. 1 South Main street. Near the bridge. ' tf. BRATTLEBORO LIVERY. NOTICE! FOR SALE OR EXCHANGE old for a good Livery IJorse, one 3-year standard, bred HANJACISTO COLT, can show a 50 clip now ; well broke and good size. Also Top Carriages. Concord Surrey", and almost anything in the Wagon line at prices to suit the times. H. M. ADAMS, Proprietor. C. S. STOCK WEIX, Manager. P.D.Q- KILLS BUGS. P.D.O. This rrent dlwovery If pure death to all lice ami vermin on tlsnn, ghrulm, grape Tines, cur rant ami rone IiUr-he. kills lice and flees on poultry, tUgt, rats ami all animals; kills tuke tthe?t ami Kiimulatet. growth uf wool. Kills heJ iiuirs, roacnes.waiernuirrt.nnis, moins, nuaaio bugs, ete. Is tne only reinely known that pre. vent the eg or sirs from hatrhtnr, t hereby stopping- bre?ttg. I haiimlesfl to human be. lug- ami will not Injure the flne4 fabrics. In riir?lenitto for farmers, mirfervmen, poultry breeder, etc. Price 25 cents for I lb. packaae, 6 lbs. in bulk for Sold br drt'ggitfs, gro cers, grain stores or . h.. OrriKar, if n I A ft. rrot'iorsviiie, i. worrester compound to, P. O. Box 74a, Worcetvter, Wa. 44mS. Perkins' Dye House Xsfo. a Elm St. Ladles' and Gents' Garments Cleansed and Djed at Short Notice. SKMO ICR FHirUIST.