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ELGIN. OKLA FARMERS CHAMPION
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NAVY OFFICERS GET DEGREES AT
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Theso nary officers, graduates of the nnval academy at Annapolis, hnvo been taking courses nt Columbia unl
rrrslty and are marching from the exercises nt which they received their degree.
Group of Turklnh prisoners of wnr
Austrian troop at work repairing
Carpathians which had been blown up
m ...... S at
BATTERED TURKISH DEFENSES
Interior of Me of the old fortrcsiei
bombarded by the allies, and soma at
Ii (hr lort of Bedd-ulHahr.
WAR PRISONERS ON
ear Mudroi, Ule of I.emnos, on their
a bridge on the Oallclan slopo of the
by the retreating Husslans.
ou the Dardanelles after It had been
U Turkish fuaa tut ware ihmM
way from camp to their tlally work.
This Ib the pendnnt of the ticautlful
diamond necklace which will be pre
sented by the house of representatives
to Miss tienevleve Clark, daughter ol
Champ Clark, when she Is married on
Juno 30 to James M. Thomson of New
Orleans. There aro 85 diamonds In
William Dames, Jr.. of Now York,
smiled the other day when the con
versation In a prominent club turned
to things histrionic. Ho said he was
reminded of a little story along
Some time ago Jones attended n
fashionable reception In n big new
England town, and not having met
all of the, people present the most
prominent ones were pointed out to
him by n friend.
"The young lady besldo the palm
yonder," said tho friend, indicating
a statuesque blondo, "U Miss Smith.
Shu has great histrionic ability. As
a matter of fuel, at amateur theatri
cals she Is Blmply a wonder."
"You don't really mean It!" respond
ed Jones, gating at the fair charmer.
"Ye," smiled the friend, "she can
make the most painful tragedy a
ource of genuine amusement"
"It that small boy ot yours taking
"No. He got a spaaklni yesterday
and persuaded his sister to play an
accompan'menl on the piano so that
he could tell the boys who heard hlw
holler that he we eeJ practlciar
ill- inajiftT Mil
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MbQIM VMf ooqi
bcMi iadadiaf Libby's
yell hd Ibta
Could Spare Her.
Tommy'H mother wns an Invalid, so
his Aunt Lavtnla looked after him and
the house. And she never missed a
chance of pointing out a fault or ex
pounding a precept.
"Ob, dear," said Tommy one day,
after auntie 1iad lectured him for ten
minutes, "1 wish I had wings!"
"Why, aiy pet?" aBked mother,
pleased at this angelic Inspiration,
"Oh, I'd fly up In the air with Aunt
I.avlnln.and I'd fly and fly till 1 couldn't
get any higher."
"Yes. dear," said mother proudly, as
tho little chap paused Impressively.
"What would you do then?"
"I'd drop Aunt Lavlnla!" said Tom
my savagely. Stray Stories.
Mr. Highbrow, who posed as nn arbi
ter of taste, looked round the tiers ot
boxes nt tho opera house the other
evening and sntd:
"I Buppose, If n woman's shoulders
are very beautiful, she has a right, a
moral right, to wear n very dccolleto
gown. At the same time "
Mr. Highbrow chuckled and shook
"At tho Bame time," he resumed,
"tho fashionahlo woman of today re
minds mo of the prophet."
"How bo?" said his Interlocutor.
"She hasn't much on 'er In her own
country," was the smiling reply.
Bruin the Hugger.
Mary Speaking ot animals, which
la your favorite?
Hazel The bear.
Mary Oh, yes; of course
Redd He seems to bo all puffed
over his new automobile.
Green Oh, d?d It hurt him as badly
"Wliat's the matter with that Infant
"1 think It has Infant paralysis."
Innocent youngster pleads guilty,
evidently hoping to go free.
uiiii i. awk
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-'There's a Reason"
sold by Grocers everywhere.
JUST HOWJT WHS
Brother Jackson Explains the
Case to the Judge.
Chicken He Meant to Hslp Turned on
Him and "Run Hlsstlf Plumb to
Death Chatln de Po' 01'
"If you are not guilty as charged,"
cauetlsally Inquired the judge, "bow Is
It that you were caught at half-past
ten o'clock at night In tho immedlato
vicinity of the heu roost with a dead
chicken concealed unifcr jour coat?
"Dls hyah's huccome It." responded
Iirothcr Jackson glibly, "Jcs' dlsawny.
I wuz comln' 'long home f'um prayer
meetln' 'bout ten o'clock. V.i 1 wiw
a-shawt-cuttln' It froo do alley back o
do mayor's henhouse I hecrd n soun ,
a pow'ful B'plcious soun'. Chicken
"I reckoned right r way dey raus
be a varmint In do mayor's henroost,
so I sot out to pervestlgate. l.ess'n
1 skeer do varmint off 'fore I git nigh
ornuft I lambast him wlf do club I wuz
a-totln' I 'sun to squawk mase'f.
"When 1 como a-nlgh 1 struck two
three matches so's 1 c'u'd seo to git du
winder open. Den I poked dat club froo
de winder, souawkln' all do while. Dey
aln' nuflln happen yit, so I pulled out
do club. When 1 pulled dat club outcn
dat henhouse dar wui a young rooster
Bcltln' on it, right Bpang In the warm
place whar I done scratch dem three
"I kep" right on squawkln', an' soon's
dat rooster hecrd dat ho up wlf his
fedders mighty rambunctious an' hyah
ho come. 'Gun to 'tack me, yassuhl
Dat wuz do flghtenest rooster ebber I
see. Hound an' round wo went, an'
up do alley and down de alley, an'
cross ways an' buck ag'ln, an' hlin
llghtln' mo nil de while. When I come
to I wuz a half block down do alley
an' de rooster wuz dald. Ynssuh, dald!
Jes nachually dun hlsself plumb to
death chasln' dls po' ol' man.
"Co'se, Jedge, youah honor, you-all see
how 'tis. Dar 1 wuz wlf a dnld rooster
on mah hands, an' If whito folks hajf
pen 'long I sho'ly Is llablo to be B'pect
ed o' some skulduggery. So 1 picked
up dat rooster nn' hug him close to
me, an' wrop mah coat eroun' him,
'cazo ho might not be plumb dald an'
do warm might nuss him back to life.
An' whiles I wuz' 'gagMl doln' dat
do mayor's blgges' boy Gawge he done
cotched me by do coat collar an'
called bo chicken thief. Yassuh, dat's
jes' huccome ills hyah blznlz. An' I
wuz er-comln' homo f'um prayer meet
A Paying Well,
tllll Why, he has a well on his
Jill Yes, he' way behind the times,
"Behind nothing! It's nn oil well!"
Balancing the Scale.
"Isn't that song rather low?"
"Yes; that's why I'm singing It at
the top of my voice."
The Usual Thing.
Mrs. Askltt Do you keep a servant?
Mrs. Noltt Yes, and several of her
eolations. Indianapolis Stnr.
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PRODUCTS MANUFACTURING CO.
OKLAHOMA CITY OKLAHOMA
HAD HIS MOTHER PUZZLED
Washerwoman Never Could Under
stand Son, Therefore She Dubbed
Tolly, tho washerwoman, was deep
In a discussion of her family's short
comings. "Mali fnmbly suttlnly do hab somo
Bhawtcomln'o," sho declared. "Fur In
stance: Mah son Jawgo es jcs' lak a
"My goodness!" gasped the mis
trees. "How, Polly?"
"Well, btihcawso only two things In
do whole worl' worries him: He wor
ries dat he has to wake up to cat, an'
den ho worries dat ho hab to F'np
eatlnk' to go to sleep. Ah suttlnly doan
undahstan' dat boy."
"Hut how do you conclude that he
Is like n grasshopper?" queried the
"Jes' huhcawso ho er do most mls
undahstamlahlo creature dat Ah kin
think of, dat's why," she answered.
Question cf Supplies,
"Daisy," remarked her Sunday
school teacher, "don't lovo your eat
too much. What would you do If It
died you wouldn't sen It again?"
"Oh, yes, teacher; I should feco It
"No, dear, you're mistaken; animals
cannot go to heaven like people."
Daisy's eyes filled with tears, but
suddenly she exclaimed Irlumphnntly,
"Animals do go to heaven, for tho bi
ble says the promised lnnd Is flowing
with milk nnd honey, and, If there aro
no animals, whero do they get tho
At the Club.
"So our proposal waB laid on the
table, after nil."
"I thought It' would bo dished."
Some men nrn such clover liars that
they can even explain to tho satisfac
tion of their wives whero they have
been. Difference between China's Johp D.
and ours Is about fnSO.OOO.OOO.
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