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The Mellette County pioneer. [volume] (Wood, Mellette County, S.D.) 19??-1971, August 16, 1912, Image 6

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Persistent link: https://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn96090217/1912-08-16/ed-1/seq-6/

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Paxtine Antiseptic sprayed Into the
nasal passages is a surprisingly sue*
cessful remedy for catarrh. At drug
gists, 25c a box or sent postpaid on re
ceipt of price by The Paxton Toilet
Co., Boston, Mass.
User* of the Telephone Will Be Apt
to Condone Mr. Bueiman’e Brief
Loes of Temper.
He was just about exasperated with
the telephone, was Mr. Busi man.
Ten times that morning he had
tried to get on to a number, and each
time something had prevented him
from speaking. Either It waa “num
ber engaged," or the person he want
ed to speak to was out, or else ho
had been suddenly cut off. At last
he got through.
“Hallo!” said be. “Is Mr. X. therer
“Yes,” replied a voice. “Do you
want to speak to him?”
That was the last straw. Back
came the reply in icy tones:
“Oh, no! Nothing of the sori. I
merely rung up to hand him a cigar)”
Moberly, Mo.—“My trouble began
with a small pimple on the left side of
my face and it spread all over my
face and to my neck. It would be scar
let fed when I got warm. My face
was a sight. It looked very unpleas
ant, and it felt uncomfortable. My
face was something awful; It just kept
me in agony all the time. Some said
it was tetter, and some said It was
that awful eczema, but I rather think
it was tetter. I had been troubled
with It for about two years and tried
many remedies, but got no relief until
I used Cuticura Soap and Ointment
“When I would wash my face with
the Cuticura Soap and apply the Cuti
cura Ointment it would cool my skin
and draw great big drops of matter
out of the skin. You would think 1
was sweating; It would run down my
face just as though I bad washed it
It itched and smarted and I suffered
In the day time most. I used the Cuti
cura Soap and Cuticura Ointment for
a month and I was cured of It.” (Sign
ed) Mrs. J. Brooksher, April 15, 1912.
Cuticura Soap and Ointment sold
throughout the world. Sample of each
free, with 32-p. Skin Book. Address
post-card "Cuticura, Dept L, Boston."
He Was Willing to Work.
Democratic members of the
house of representatives have been
besieged ever by a horde of office
seekers, willing to serve their coun
“It is refreshing.” said one repre
sentative in discussing the office ques
tion, "to hear of an aspirant for pub
lic office who frankly admits his ambi
tion, yet disdains to seek a position
in which he will have nothing to do
but to draw* his salary,
“Two wayside pilgrims were talking
over things when one of them asked:
" ‘Dick, you ain’t a-hankerln* after
no government place, are ye?’
“ 'I don’t mind sayin’ I'd take one
of ’em ef 1 could git it,’ responded the
other, ’but I don’t want no job that’s
all fat. I’m willin’ to earn my wages.’
“‘An’ what sort o’ job would be
about vour size?’
"’Well, I’d like to fill fountain pens
fur some assistant secretary of the
treasury.’ "—Judge.
Telling the Truth.
On little Arthur’s birthday, he re
ceived a present of a very large furry
toy monkey.
Two days later his father found It
lying in a corner with both eyes miss
"My boy,” asked father, more in sor
row than in anger, "why have you
spoiled that beautiful monkey by pull
ing its eyes out?”
"Didn’t,” replied Arthur briefly.
"Don’t tell any untruths," snorted
father, more In anger than In sorrow
"or I’ll punish you! Why did you
pull the monkey’s eyes out?"
"Didn't!” repeated little Arthur defi
antly. Then he hurried on, as father
took off bis slipper. "I—l pushed them
The New Sport.
“These here New Yorkers is bound
to have their sports, I see,” said Uncle
"In what way?” asked the boarder.
“Why.” said Uncle Silas, “sense
Ihey give up hoss-racln’ they’ve gone
in heavy fer the turkey trot. Don’t
seem to me’s if thet could be very
excitin'."—Harper’s Weekly.
Important to Mothers
Examine carefully every bottle cl
CASTORIA, a safe and sure remetjy for
infants and children, and see that it
Bears the
Signature of I
In Use For Over 30 Years.
Children Cry for Hetcher’s Castons
Trouble's Way.
“He always climbed a tree when ha
saw trouble coming.”
“And what did trouble do?"
“Set Are to the tree and smoked
him out again."
A Dare.
To the Editor —Why do the moat
worthless men often get the best
Answer —I don't know. Ask your
husband. —Smart Set
A Skeptic.
"Do you believe In ghosts, Willie T"
"No—not unless Fm alone In the
Wtaetow's Seotktef •r rB F f*r OMMies
ktag, Mhm the gwee, regeese iaSMMMk
Obll AJTO pShAtte OWMO fIBO W WOttlOb
A amooth mm to liable te be ali»

Richard IJrhtnut, an American with an
affected English accent, receives a pres
ent from a friend in Chino. The present
proves to be a pair of pajamas. A letter
hints of surprise to the wearer. Lightnut
dona the pajamas and late at night trets
up for a smoke. His servant. Jenkins,
comes ia and. failing to recognize Light
nut. attempts to put him out. Thinking
the servant crazy, Lightnut changes nis
clothes intending to summon help. When
he reappears Jenkins falls on his nock
with Joy. confirming Llghtnut’s belief
that he is crazy. Jenkins tells Lightnut of
the encounter he had with a hideous
phlnaman dressed tn pajamas. In a
message from his friend. Jack Billings.
Lightnut is asked to put up “the kid
for the night on his way home from col
lege. Later Lightnut finds a beautiful
girl In black pajamas in his room. Light
nut is shocked by« the girl’s drinking,
smoking and slingy ta!k. She tells hint
her name Is Francis and puzzles hint
with a story’ of her love for her sister’s
r<»om-mate. named Frances. Next morn
ing the girl is missing and Lightnut hur
ries *o the boat to see h“r off. He Is ac
costed by a husky college boy, who calls
him “Dicky,” but he does not see th©
g'rl. Jack Billings calls to spend the
night with L’ghtnut. They discover
priceless rubles hidden ia UM buttons of
th© pajamas.
CHAPTER IX.—(Continued.)
Billings gulped again. “1 suppose
not; don’t blame you. Way you’re
fixed, you don’t have to." He walked
slowly to the window and back. "Take
my advice, Dicky, and get those tire
coals into your safe deposit vault first
thing in the morning. Hello, you're
counting them off.’ That’s wise."
For with the knife he had left on
the table I was cutting away the
tough threads that held the rubles. I
cut off the second and fourth, leav
ing the first ruby at the collar and
the other two alternates.
“Go on.” said Billings, as I laid down
the knife. "You've only removed
‘ Don’t believe I’ll cut off any more,’’
I said. "Want you to help me tie up
the others just as they were."
I Insisted. And though Billings pro
tested and argued and even called me
names, we did as I said.
For, by Jove, you know it was per
fectly clear that if they had been safe
so long under the little covers, the
jewels couldn’t find any better place.
Singular thing Billings couldn't see it.
Besides, the pajamas had to have fast,
enings, you know.
I held one of th© two rubies under
the light. . <>. by Jove. I almost drop
ped it—iay glass. Seeing a
red-hot in your fingers
would give you the same turn.
"Rippers, Billings! Simply rippers!"
I exclaimed.
I held the other ruby beside its fel
low. Then I waited, listening, and I
heard Billings’ hand strike down on
the back of a chair.
"I guess I’ll be going, old chap," be
said gruffly. "Think I’d better, after
all.” He cleared his throat. "Sure
you can't sell me one, Dicky?” Dashed
if his voice didn’t tremble.
"Quite sure, dear boy," I murmured,
without turning around. "Not mine,
you know—these two."
Billings exploded then. It seemed
an opportunity to relieve himself.
"Not yours! Why, you dodgasted idiot,
you nincompoop, you cuckoo, you
chicken head! What notion have you
got in that fool's noddle now? If those
rubles are not yours, whose do you
think they are?"
I whirled about quickly. "Yours," 1
said, and laid them in his hand.
"My compliments, old chap." I add
ed, smiling. By Jove! One time, at
least, I put it all over old Billing*.'.!
"No!" he gasped, crouching over
and gripping my shoulder.
I grinned cheerfully.
He fell Into a chair and Just sat
there mouthing at me and then at the
Jewel* in his hand. Old boy looked
devilish silly. Really acted like he
had some sort of stroke—that sort of
I laughed at him.
"Don't you see?" I said, trying to
explain. "Wouldn't have known a
dashed thing about the buttons be
ing rubles but for you. So lucky they
came to me so I can get a chance to
help out your collection. Awfully glad,
old chap."
He clenched the jewels, and looked
"Dickv—" He coughed a little hus*
kily as ne paused. "Dicky." His voice
was So low I could hardly* hear him.
"Dicky, you’re off your trolley, and
I'm a damned —”
He raised his arm and dropped it
''Well, never mind what," he fin
ished with a lift of the shoulders.
"But I want to say something. It's
about what I offered you for those
stones. The price—the amount I
named—wasn't even a decent gamble;
but It was all I could go, and oh, I
wanted one so badly, Dicky! And
now you've «nade mo feel like a dog.
I can't take your gift, old chap,
tny more than I could afford to offer
you the real value of one of these
beautiful stones. Here." And ho
*jasscd them back to me.
"1 know each of them to bo worth
M,ywbcra from forty to fifty thousand
*'*••*." bo said quietly. They're the
"’*■ ILLUSTRATIONS 4? RuyUUinits
aww/w/ /sw Ar aqaaa -mmwljl com&wy
kind the crowned heads scoop tor
Jewels of state.**
I nodded, and, getting up carelessly,
I strolled to a window.
“Devilish lovely night,” I said, pok
ing my head out And It was. Stars
overhead and all that sort of thing,
and lots of them below, too—l ecu Id
bear them singing over on Broadway.
“All right, old chap; then here they
go into the street," I said. "If my
friend can't have 'em, then no jolly
crowned heads shall. That’s flat!"
Billings started forward with a reg
ular scream.
I waved him back. "Don’t come
any nearer, old chap.” I said, bolding
my arm out of the window, "or, dash
me. I’ll drop them Instantly. Six sto
ries. you know—stone flagging be
"But, Dicky—”
"If you don’t say you’ll take ’em,
time I count three. I'll giva ’em a
toss, by Jove! One!”
“Here, Dicky! Don’t be a—”
"Two!" I counted. No bluff, you
know; I meant jolly m ell to do it.
"Just one word—one second,
Dicky!” he yelled “Let me off with
one, then. Dicky! Dicky, old chap!
Be a good sportsman!”
I hesitated. Dash it, one hates to
take an advantage.
Billings stretched out bls arm ap
pealingly. “Do. old chap!" he plead
ed. "Give n»e just one—one only!”
His hand shook like a quivering
what's-its-name leaf.
I yielded reluctantly. "Oh, well,
then, call it off with one.” 1 said. And
with a sigh I tossed him one of the
rubles and dropped the other in the
pocket of my smoking-jacket. Billings
wiped his forehead, and then he
thanked me and wiped his eyes.
"So good of you to give in, old
chap.” he snuffled. "Never will forget
you for it!”
"Oh. 1 say, chuck it, you know!” 1
"Whole family will thank you,” he
went on in his handkerchief. "Prince
ly magnanimity and all that sort of
thing—you’ll just have to come up for
the week end with me this —”
( wK&k jM
“I Wat So Startled I Lott the Grip on My Monocle.”
"I will!" I reached forward eagerly
and insisted on shaking hands. By
Jove, what luck!
And Billings looked regularly over
come. All he could do was just shako
his head and pump my arm. Why,
dash it, this seemed to affect him
more even than giving in about the
ruby. It was the first time I had ever
accepted his invitation, you know.
"Tell you what, old chap," he said,
as soon as he could spoak. "I'm go
ing to tell you what to do with that
other stone. You save that for her."
"Her!" By Jove. I was so startled
I lost the grip on my mopocle. Bill
ings nodded emphatically.
"Yoe, air—for her; she’ll be along
one of those days."
"By Jove, you know!" I was almost
dlssy with a sudden idea. I fished
out the jewel and hold it before my
glass, squinting doubtfully at it. 1
wondered if it was good enough for
"I say, Billings," I murmured
thoughtfully. "Blondes or brunettes,
you know —whleh wear rubles?"
Both!” He aaid it with a kind ot
jaw «aap "Thay wear anything in
the jewel Una they enn freese on to."
"Bat which—*
"The wgwtl
blondes, every time; especially those
going around In black." Billings spoke
gloomily. "Let me tell you, my boy—
and I know—don’t you ever have any
thing to do with a blonde it she's in
black, especially black silk—hear?"
By Jove, his uplifted linger and
fierce way of saying it gave me a reg
ular turn, you know. But then there
was the ruby, and I was thinking
"Perhaps the four of them in a
bracelet." 1 muttered, "with something
else to help out They might do."
"They might," said Billings in a
tone of coarse sarcasm. "They might
do for a queen!”
I flashed a quick look at him. "Just
what 1 was thinking," I answered
"Meantime," said Billings, yawning,
"let's go to bed."
And just as I rang for Jenkins 1
suddenly was seized with a perfectly
ripping idea that checked a long
yawn right in the middle and almost
broke my jaw. For I saw how I could
do something handsome that would
even up with Billings in a way for
the ruby he wouldn’t take.
"Tell you what, old chap," 1 said,
slapping him on the shoulder, "you
are going to have them tonight!"
"Have—have what?" burst from
him. “Rubies? I tell you I wdn't
take another —”
"Rubles!” I ejaculated contemptu
ously. "Rubles nothing! Something
better —something worth while, dash
I saw he would never guess It.
"Why, you shall sleeo in the pa
jamas from China,” I exclaimed. And
gathering them. I placed them in his
“By George, Dicky!” Billings* face
showed feeliug. "How Infernally
clever of you, old chap! How thun
dering timely, too!”
He held them up siMly, studying
their outline- critically
“And see here, Dicky—why, great
Thomas cats!” His eyes turned on
me wonderingly. "Never noticed it be
fore —did you? But I do believe they
are just my size!”
Hit size! By Jove, t had forgotten
all about the Item of size! 1 just col
lapsed into a chair as he said good
night, and sat there blinking in a
regular stupefaction of horfor aa his
door closed behind him.
For he was devilish sensitive about
his bulk, and I dared not say a word.
A Nocturnal Intrusion.
"Oh, but I say, it's impossible, you
know!" And I stared at Jenkins In
He grinned foolishly. "I know, sir;
but he’s In ’em, just the same, and 1
must say they do fit lovely—just easy
"By Jove!" I gasped helplessly.
"Then the jolly things must be made
of rubber, that’s all! Why. look here,
he weighs over throe hundred
pounds, you know!"
Jenkins’ head wagged sagaciously.
"I think that’s how it is, air; it’s won
derful what they do with rubber now;
my brother wears a rubber cloth band
age that ain’t no bigger ’round than
my arm when it’s off of him, and
"Dare say," I said sleepily as I fell
bank upon my pillow. "Good night.
»5 ■/ ’ • X
A ‘ •_ *l, ; ' i :’.
My ' *’*''*.
Jenkins; hope you'll get enough sleep
to make up for the other night."
Jenkins sighed as he punched out
the light. "Thank you. sir—and good
night," he murmured.
How long 1 slept I cannot tell, as
they say lu stories, you know; but I
was brought jolly wide awake by a
light that shone through the bed
room's open door. For if there’s one
thing will wake me quicker than
everything else it's a light in the room
at night. Fact is, I always want it as
black as the what’s-its name cave, or
else I can’t sleep. And this light
came from the small electric stand on
the writing-desk. 1 could Veil that by
the way It shone.
And just then the llttie silver gong
In there chimed three Jolly rum
hour for anybody to be up unless
they were having some fun or were
sick. So I raised my head and called
No answer. Reluctantly I swung
out ami stepped within the next
room. Not a soul there, by Jove!
Then 1 moved over to Billings' door,
which was wide open for coolness,
like my own. 1 could not see the
shadowed alcove in which the bed
was placed, and so 1 stood there hesi
tating. bating awfully to risk the pos
sibility of disturbing him. don't you
know. And just then my eyes, rang
ing sleepily across the room toward
the private hall, were startled by the
apparition of an open doorway.
Startled, all right! And yet, by
Jove. I was in such a jolly fog. I just
stood there, nodding and batting at It
for a full minute before I could take
It !n.
"What I call devilish queer,” I de
cided. I walked over and stuck my
head out into the dark hall.
"Billings! Jenkins!” I whispered.
Ry Jove, Dot a w’ord! Everything
as silent as the tomb!
1 didn’t like it a bit—so mysterious,
you know. Besides, dash It. the thing
was getting me all waked up! I just
know if once I got excited and thor
oughly awake, it would take me near
ly ten minutes to get to sleep again.
And, by Jove, just then the excite
ment came, for I got hold of the fact
after I had stared at it a while, that
the door of my apartment opening
Into the outer corridor was standing
ajar. Why, dash it, it was not only
standing, it was moving. Then sud
denly the broad streak of light from
the corridor widened under the im
pulse of a freshening breeze, and the
door swung open witn a bang.
And then 1 heard my name spoken.
By Jove. 1 had been standing there
with my mouth open, bobbing my bead
like a silly dodo; but. give you my
word. 1 was suddenly wide awake as
a jolly owl wagon!
Away down the corridor, by the
mail chute, a man was standing, read
ing a framed placard. Nothing partic
ularly remarkable in this, but as the
door banged he turned his head
sharply and ejaculated:
’Dammit! Now, that will wake
1 was surprised, because I couldn't
recall ever having seen him before;
yet, standing as he did under the light,
I bad opportunity for a devilish good
He was a heavy set old party, rather
baldish, with snowy mutton chops and
a beefy complexion that was jolly well
tanned below the hatband line, you
know. The kind of old boy you size
up as one of the prime feeder sort
and fond of looking on the wine when
it la Oporto red. Had something of
the cut of the retired India colonels
one sees about the Service clubs in
London—straight aa a lamp post still,
but out of training and in devilish
need of tapping—that sort of duck,
you know!
What a respectable-iooking old par
ty might be up to, wandering around a
bachelor apartment building at three
in the morning, was none of my busi
ness. What’s more, you know, l
didn't care a jolly hang. But the
thing that dashed me was that just
as I moved toward the door to close
it, he uttered my name again and
came straight toward me as though to
So I had to wait, by Jove, for I
couldn’t close the door in his face.
Awfully rotten thing to do—that, you
’’Lost his floor and wants to in
quire,** I decided.
And then as he toddled across the
last yard and stopped before me, 1
saw that the old chap was in his night
thiugs—some darkish sort of pajamas.
"By George!** be exclaimed with a
leer that showed his almost toothless
old gums. "Bet you never would guess
what I got up for!"
No, dash It, I didn’t even tare to
try. I Just coughed a little.
"What on earth d*you kr ep clapping
for? That last singer was awful f-
“I know; bnt I liked the style of
her clothes, and I want to have an
other look nt them."—London Oplnloa.
KAEAL time—Eager children!
Hungry grown-ups— Kern
appetites to be appeased And
JgpfDrted Beef
Creamed or plain it maker a dandy
duh. It'a «uy to prepare— aupreme j n
quality, and coats do more than oedioary
to Glaaa Jara w Tina
At Evary Greeera
lowa State Fair
and imposition
August 22-30, 1912
IF YOU WANT TO KNOW ntniut th- w
fui prup<>»ltlou>. Cheap llomieo r.ixl Im.n.
nientainthe famous KoahkonoiiK bruit ;Uu j
Dairy Helt Bubacrtbefor U»eOregon < <>.!.<
D arn all about It. One dollar a year, l.u era . p re .
mlum* Free •▼« , ry auba< rlber. ’INk-u.. |. M> .
licentaet'in or aiampa. I.KAIM K I’t HLI-|(.
Governor Suffered Because His R»>
quest Was Not Couched in Plain
Enough Language.
Mr. Melvll Dewey, state librarian
of New York, said recently that libra
ries would do well to furnish free mu
sic rolls for player-pianos, just as
they now furnish books.
"In Toledo," said Dr. Dewey ths
other day, "my project has been late
ly inaugurated. It will accomplish
much for the musical art."
Then, apropos of music and igno
rance, Dr. Dewey told a story.
"A certain governor," he said, "was
being lunched at a seaside town. Dur
ing the repast the local band played
on the beach outside the hotel. Ths
drum was in charge of a blacksmith,
and he beat it so resonantly that at
last this message was sent out:
" ’The governor requests the drum
mer to desist.*
"The bandmaster was puzzled by
this message for a moment; then his
face brightened in a smile, and ho
"’More drum, Joe; the governor
likes It."
Knlcker—Do you use laborsavlng
Bocker—Yes, a fishing pole will pre
vent you from having to tako up the
Of the Bird Kind.
"Say. pa?’
"What is it?"
"Is an aviary a hospital for avia
Kansas Man Says Coffee Made Him
"Coffee has been used In our fam Hr
of eleven—father, mother, five sons
and four daughters—for thirty years.
I am the eldest of the boys and have
always been considered the runt of the
family and a coffee toper.
"I continued to drink it for years un
til I grew to be a man, and then I
found I had stomach trouble, nervous
headaches, poor circulation, was un
able to do a full day’s work, took medi
cine for this, that and the other thing,
without the tenst benefit. In fact I
only weighed 116 when I was 28.
"Then I changed from coffee to Pos
turn, being the first one in our family
to do so. I noticed, as did the rest of
the family, that I was surely gaining
strength and flesh. Shortly after I
was visiting my cousin who said, ‘You
look so much better—you’re getting
"At breakfast his wife passed
a cup of coffee, as she knew I was al
ways such a coffee drinker, but I said,
‘No, thank you.’
*”What!’ said my cousin, ’you quit
coffee? What do you drink?*
’’ ’Postum,’ I said, ‘or water, and I
am well,* They did not know what
Postum was, but my cousin had stom
ach trouble and could not sleep at
night from drinking coffee three times
a day. He was glad to learn about
Postum, but said he never knew cof
fee would hurt anyone." (Tea is just
*• injurious as coffee because it con
tains caffeine, the same drug found
in coffee.)
“After understanding my condition
and how I got wen he knew what to
do for himself. He discovered that
coffee was the cause of hie trouble as
be never used tobacco or anything else
of the kind. You should see the change
m him now. We both ~le4 that If
persons who suffer from coffee drink
ing would stop and uso Postum they
could build back to health and happl*
Name given by Postum Co*
Battle Creek, Mich.
. 1 raaeon.* Read the little
book, "The Road to WoUviUe," in pkga.
Bver read the above letter. A new
one appears from time to time. TM/
•re genuine, true, a nd full of hufwe
Essers sSrifi
,ydl& E»
ble Coi
jne me m<
the best me
-Mrs. Jen
Lydia E.l’it
ha? done rr
else. One
led upon f<
and that n
•*1 had
could not g
I got in sue!
have died i
anil found
build up I
female tro
"I am n
than I eve
ought to t
Cline, S.
Is Cl
That’s Wt
will put yo
b a few
their dut
Cure Con
0. H. knkli
Purpose* <
A*k your
• X
o**»m E tl
bry Htea
for fa
of elc
M. <

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