OCR Interpretation

The Mellette County pioneer. [volume] (Wood, Mellette County, S.D.) 19??-1971, August 30, 1912, Image 7

Image and text provided by South Dakota State Historical Society – State Archives

Persistent link: https://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn96090217/1912-08-30/ed-1/seq-7/

What is OCR?

Thumbnail for

* I
y 7
t’* f'
Ly ‘ V<; •» w’ a
| «*. .* ■ . *.»
It’s hard enough to keep house if
in perfect health, but a woman who
is weak, tired and suffering all of
the time with an aching back has a
heavy burden to carry. Any woman
In this rendition has good cause to
suspect kidney trouble, especially if
the kidney action seems disordered
at all. Doan’s Kidney Pills have
cured thousands of women suffering
in this way It is the best-recom
mended special kidney remedy.
> Cass
Mm.C J.Tyler.
Cando,N.Dak .
•ays: ‘’My feet
and limb* were
•wullen and I
could not sleep
on account of
.he kidney
weakness. My
back was lams
and sore and 1
felt miserable.
Doans Kidney
pt lb freed me
of tin* trvubls
and when I have
bad occasion to
u*e them since
they have never
failed me.”
Get Doan’s at any Draft Store, 50c. a Box
Here the Original Hiram J. Telia of
His Attendance at Country
“Having nothing else to do," re
marked the old codger, "I attended
a function while 1 was over at Tor*
pidville the other day. The affair
was held in a dispirited grove at the
end of a road in which every time
a horse popped down his foot the dust
shot up in the air like a skyrocket.
A band was playing without the
«l!jhte?t remorse A statesman, with
a neck as wrinkled as a pickle, dron
ed forth redundant nonenitie* with
out end A sad and rickety merry
gu wabble wound ‘round and ’round
to the sound of its own plaintive pee
dle deedle In a tipsy pavilion a
hearse person was endeavoring to sell,
in brazen defiance of the pure food
and drug act, what looked alarmingly
like homed toads fried in axle grease.
A gentleman in a striped tent near
by hoarsely stated that he preferred
to eat snakes at ten cents per ser
pent. There was the usual balloon
which seemed perfectly willing to do
anything but go up. Scattered around
through the festal scene were a few
old soldiers, grumbling; a smattering
of farmers, also grumbling; sundry
honest voters, likewise grumbling;
and various other folks, nothing about
whom >s worth mentioning except
that they. too. were grumbling It
may have been a reunion, a fair, a
rally, a picnic, or what-not; but what
ever they chanced to call it, ’twas an
excellent example of one of our most
cherished institutions.*' —Kansas City
Case cl Mistaken Identity.
President Taft was out for his aft
ernoon walk in Washington one day
when a flaxen-haired little girl ran out.
in frrnt of him. he’d up her Auger,
and exclaimed, in a shrill voice;
“1 know who you are!”
The president, thinking it not at all
anusual that she should possess this
information. but willing to gratify her.
who am I?”
she said teas'.ng’.y, •'you’re
Dumpty.’’—Popular Maga-
Job Not Satisfactory.
'Te a self-made man
proud Individual.
"Well, you are all right except as to
your bead," commented the lUtener.
• How s that?"
' The part you talk with is too b!g
for 'h<» part you think with"
A wnn an can't feed a man so much
taffv ttat it will spoil his appetite for
Is often said of
when eaten with cream or
rich milk and a sprinkle of
sugar if desired.
Thai’s the cue for house
keepers who want to please
the whole family.
Post Toasties are ready
to sene direct from the
package —
“The Memory Lingers"
Sold bv Grocers
Pcemm Gml CeapMr. LmL
Beak Creek. Mxk
Richard L'xhtnut. an American with an
affected Enftlieh accent, receives a pres
ent from a .riend tn China. The present
proves to V* a pair of pajamas. A letter
hints of surprise to the wearer. Lightnut
dons the pajamas and late at night gets
up for a smoke, fits servant. Jenkins,
comes in and. falling to recognise Light
nut. attempts to put him out. Thinking
the servant crazy. Lightnut changes his
clothes Intending to summon help When
he reappears Jenkins falls on his neck
with joy. confirming Llghtnufs belief
that he is crazy. Jenkins tells Ughtnut of
th»* encounter he had with a hideous
Chinaman dressed tn pajamas. In a
message from his friend. Ja*k Billings.
Ijghtnut is asked to put up "the kid”
for the night on his way home from col.
legs Later Light nut finds a beautiful
girl in black pajamas in his r,x>m. Light
nut Is shocked by the girl's drinking,
smoking and slangy talk She tells hitn
htr name is Francis and pussies him
with a story of her love for her sister's
room-mate, named Frances Next morn
ing the girl is missing and IJgiitnut hur
ries to the boat to see her off. He is ac
costed by a husky college boy. who calls
him ' Dicky.” but he does not see the
girl. Ja k Billings calls to spend the
night with Lightnut. They discover
priceless rubles hidden In the buttons of
th* pajamas. Billings dens the pajamas
and retires. Lightnut later discovers
tn his apartment a be-fy person in mut
ton-chop whiskers and wearing pajamas
Jenkins calls the police, who 3e« iare the
Intruder to be a criminal, called "Foxy
CHAPTER XI. (Continued.)
"Ob. come now, Braxton," said the
officer In a tone of disgust. "stop your
foolery; you're just using up time
Ain't ft enough that you re in idle
building and in this gentleman s
"In bls rooms!" exploded Foxy
Grandpa. "\% hy. you lunkhead, tbis
gentleman win tell you 1 am bis
guest!" He turned to me with a sort
of angry laugh.
'Tell him, Lightnut." he rasped.
’T’ve bad enough of this!"
The big policeman's features ex
panded in a grin, while Tim doubled
forward an Instant, his blue girth
wabbling with internal appreciation
of the Foxy one's facetiousness; and
the janitor snickered
Jenkins looked shocked. As for me.
dash it. I never so wished tor my
monocle, don't you know!
O'Keefe's head angled a little to
give me the benefit of a surreptitious
"Ob, certainly," he said, his voice
affecting a fine sarcasm: "if the gen
tieman says you're his friend—"
"He's no friend of mine." I pro
claimed indignantly. "Never saw him
before in my life "
Instead of being confounded, •the
artful old villain fell back with a
great air of astonishment and dismay.
By Jove, he managed to turn fairly
Wha-a t s that?" he gasped strang-
Jingly and clutching at the collar of
his pajamas "Say that again. Dicky."
I looked at him severely.
"Oh, 1 say, don't call me 'Dicky,*
either." I remonstrated quietly. • it's
a name I oniy like to hear my inti
mate friends use."
He kind of caught the back of a
chair and glared wildly at me from
under bis bushy wintry eyebrows The
beefy rolls of his lower jaw actually
Don't you—haven't you always
classed me as that. Die—er—Light
hut?" he sort of whispered.
By Jove, the effrontery of such act
ing fairly disgusted me I locked him
over from head to foot with measured
>a!d the
"In His Rooms!’’
contempt. “1 don t know you at ail."
1 said coldly, turning away.
“Ye gods!” fap whtezvd. clutching
at his grizzled hair.
I Ser»d s Man to Ja I.
The two policemen sbi.’ud impa
That’ll about do. Foxy." growled
O’Keefe. "It’s entertaining, but enougn
a thing—”
But the old duffer caught bls sleeve.
"Wait!" he panted. "One second
wait —just one second!"
He looked at Jenkins and ducked
bls neck forward, swallopiag hard
"Jenkins." he said with a sickly
smile. “You—*x»u see how it is with
Llghlnut—goor fellow! None of us
•rer thought bs> go e< tbM
$ • ’ •?? --J
5l 'i 1
** IVbUSTRATIONS fttyMlruts
cowr/arr /w/ bt Bases gomw
bad though. But, as it is. I guess
you're the one now who will have to
set me right with these people You’ll
have to stand for mo."
Jenkins looked alarmed. He ad
dressed the officers eagerly:
“S'help me," he cried, bls glance
impaling the prisoner with scorn, ”1
, never see this party before in the ten
i years I been in New York!”
"Call for the wagon, Tim." said
O'Keefe shortly. indicating the
'phone. "The fool's going to give
trouble. Kahoka Apartments, tell
them. Hurry; let’s get him to the
He made a dhe at the figure tn the
chair and jerked him forward.
But his crip seemed to slip and he
only moved his prisoner a few inches.
He tried with about the same
"Get a move on. Tim," be said pant
ingly. "He's bigger, somehow, than
he looks, and awful heavy; it 11 take
both of us. Get up. Braxton, unless
you want the club!”
The man settled solidly in the
depths of the chair.
"Club and be hanged!" he replied
with a snap of his jaw. "1 won't go in
I any dirty police wagon—tint's fiat!
• You may take me in a hearse first.
; Get a cab or a taxi, if 1 have to go
J with you!”
"Gamey old snort, anyhow, by
Jove!" 1 thought with sudden admir
ation. Couldn't help it. dash it!
Heart just went out to him. somehow.
1 gently interposed as O Keefe pre-
I pared to lunge again.
"1’1! stand the cab for him, officer,”
I said with a smile, "if your rules,
don't you know, or whatever it is.
wdl allow."
I added in a lowered voice:
I "Makes it devilish easier for you.
i don't you know, and avoids such a jol
ly row. And—er —I want to ask you
and your friend to accept from me a
I little token of my appreciation "
The policeman exchanged a glance
with Tim and considered.
"Well, sir," he said, "as to the cab,
1 of course if you're a mind to want to
do that, it's your own affair."
He turned to his companion.
"Just cancel that. Tim," be directed.
"Call a four-wheeler."
"Thank you, Lightnut.” put in the
I old man gratefully. "You have got a
grain of decency left, by George, alter
j all!"
Meantime, Jenkins was answering
j my inquiry.
"I don t believe, sir. you have a bit
of cash in the house. You told me
so when you were retiring"
By Jove. 1 remembered now! The
poker game in the evening!
I was wondering whether they
could use a check, when I spied Bill
ings' wallet on the table.
The very thing, by Jove!
j Examination stowed, first thing, a
j wad of yellow-backs, fresh from the
bank. I peelfd off two and pushed
them into the officer s hand.
I "This belongs to a friend of mine."
I remarked; "but it's just the same as
; my own. don't you know, and he won't
mind. Dash It, we’re Just like broth
A bowl of maniacal laughter from
i the old fool in the chair startled us
"Regular Damon and Pythias, damn
! It!" he gabbled, grinning with hideous
face contortions. * One for all, and
all for one! And just help yourself;
don’t mind me. Why—bell!"
O'Keefe prodded him sharply In the
shoulder with bis night stick.
"Stop your skylarking now. Foxy."
1 he admonished angrily, "and come
I oc. Here the gentleman s gone and
put up his money for a cab for you
and you ought to want to get out of
his way so he can rest."
"lies sure been kind to you.” sup
j fomented Tim, whose eye had noted
j the passing oi the yellow boys.
"Kind!” mocked the old geezer,
showing his «cr tiered teeth in a hor
rible grin. "Why, he's a lu-lu, a reg
' ular Samaritan!"
"No names!" warned O Keefe,
slightly lifting his night stick "Come
on to tbe street—you seem to forget
I jou re under arrest."
He edded hastily:
| And I ought to have warned you
that anything you may say, Foxy—”
"Ob. you go to—Brooklyn!" snarled
Foxy. For two pins Id knock your
block off. you fat-headed Irish iqo!!
Think I'm going down to the side
walk without mv clothes?"
"Are your clothes somewhere in this
building?" I asked with some sym
He whirled on me sneerlngly and
jeered like a jolly screech owl:
Oh. no; not exactly in tbe build
Ing—they’re on the flagpole on the
roof, of course! He-he-be! Bloody
good joke, isn t it?"
I sat on the edge of the table wear
ily; and. catching the policeman's eye.
shrugged my shoulders significantly.
• Yeu’re right, str." he said apologet
ically. “We won't fool a second long
er. Here, you take that side, Tim.
Let's pull!”
And they did pull, but, by Jove,
they couldn't raise him.
“Queerest go I ever see,” Tim
gasped. "He ain't bolding on to noth
ing, is bo? And, O’Keefe, bo feels
l •
4:™ *' •/??* ?
"Pshaw, It's not that," tbe other
panted; "it’s Just the way he's sitting.
Why, you can see he ain't so very
big." He nodded to Jenkins and tbe
janitor. "Here, you two! Help us.
can’t you?"
And with one mighty, united heave,
they brought the loudly protesting old
man to his feet and held him there.
O'Keefe faced me.
"Might be well to take a look
around, sir. and see if you think of
anything else he's stolen, before we
take him off."
"Good idea, Lightnut!” Old Brax
ton stopped struggling and whirled
his head toward me, his face almost
black with rage. "Ha. ha! Why don't
you have me searciuni? There's not
a pocket in these damn pajamas!’’
"Anything whatever, sir. well have
him leave behind," said O’Keefe.
"By Jove!" I don't know how I
ever managed to say it. Fact is. things
had just suddenly spun round before
me like a merry what's its name. For
I did recognize something’ The old
fellow's unabashed reference to pa
jamas was what brought it to my at
' Ha!" O'Keefe nodded. "There is
something' Just say the word, sir."
I looked helplessly at Jenkins, and
then I saw that of a sudden he recog
nized them, too. His eyes rolled at
"What is it. sir?" demanded
O'Keefe respectfully. "'Fbe law re
I swallowed hard
jamas,” I said faintly
The old rascal Altered a roar and
tried to get at roe
"You cold-blooded scoundrel!” he
bellowed, "So this is why—'
But her? a jab of the night stick
took him in the side with a sound like
a blow on a punching bag Words
left the old man and he gasped des
perately for breath O'Keefe tried to
shake him.
"Did you get those pajamas tn
here?” he demanded fiercely, and he
drew back his stick as though for an
other jab. But the old geezer nodded
quickly, glaring at me and trying to
wheeze something.
That's enough.” said the officer.
He turned to me. ’ You recognize
them, do you. sir?”
••I—l think so,” I stammered, look
ing at Jenkins who nodded. "They
belong to a friend of mine who—a —
must have left them here.”
“I see ” He fished out a not? book
"Mind giving me the name, sir? Just
a matter of form, you know—” He
licked his pencil expectantly.
"Oh. I say, you know —” 1 gasped
at Jenkins. "I don't think she—l—"
"Certainly not. sir,” affirmed Jen
kins. solemnly looking upward
"She?” The note-book slowly
closed, then with the pencil went back
into the officer’s pocket. “Excuse me.
str. H’m!"
"H'm!" echoed Tim apologetically.
Then they both glared ct Foxy.
The old man Just snarled at them.
He was like a dog at bay.
“All right!” he biased. You just
try to take them off—l'll kill some
body, that's all. Think lin colng to
make a spectacle of myself?"
Jenkins whispered to me.
"To be sure." I said alot>l. "He
might as well wear them now to the
station. Just so be returns them when
bo gets his clothes."
"Very good, sir," said O’Keefe, re
lieved. "Well see bo doos that Come
'• A 3
"It—lt's the pa-
F»grt»ng. Swearing and Protesting.
along dow, Braxton —shut up, I tell
And with all four of them behind
the charge, they managed to rush the
loudly protesting old man to the door.
"1 won't go without my clothes, I
tell you," he raged.
Hut he did. Fighting, swearing ami
protesting, ihe jolly old vagabond wan
roughly bundled into the elevator.
"Good night, sir,” called O'Keeie as
the four of them dropped downward
"We ll let you know if it seems neces
sary to trouble you "
Once again Inside, Jenkins and 1
just stared at each other without a
word, we were that tired and disgust
ed. To me. the only dashed crumb
of comfort in the whole business was
the wonderful fact that Billings
seemed to have slept like a jolly Rip
through the whole beastly row.
By Jove, it seemed to me I had been
asleep about a minute when 1 saw
the sunlight splashing through th>
Jenkins stood Inside me with some-
thing In his hand.
• Didn't hear me. did you. sir?” he
was asking. "1 said 1 thought the ad
dress looked like Mr. Billings* hand*
writing And he's gone, sir"
I sat up. rubbing the sleep from tny
eyes. I had a befogged notion that
Jenkins looked a little queer.
' Yes. sir. He's not in his room, nor
in the apartment anywhere.”
‘Eh —how —what's that?” For Jen
kins’ hand extended an envelope.
‘ Perhaps you would like to read
this now, sir."
It was front Billings -I knew his fist
in an instant. It was very short and
without heading. In fact, above bls
name appeared just a half dozen pen
ciled words, heavily underscored, and
without punctuation:
Damn you send me my clothes
"His clothes?” I looked perplexedly
at Jenkins.
He was looking a little pale and
held hb- eyes fixedly to th? picture
molding across the room He coughed
"Yes, sir," he uttered faintly;
"they’re In his room, but he ain't."
He stepped back, leaving something
on the stand by my tied.
"What's that?’ I questioned in
alarm. "Another note?"
' Xo, sir-not exactly, sir But if
may augg. st-without offense, sir—
that you Illi It out, 1 will »ee that it
gets to him."
Him? Who's him—he. I mean?"
Doctor Splasher, sir. the temper
ance party I was speaking of i v _
already filled out mine, and I’m going
to put one tn for Mr. Billings when I
send the clothes." From the door
e turned a woebegone countenance
toward me. "It’s heartrending. «ir—
be r rm,ttC<l tO ««y SO- to
th nk of a nice gentleman like Mr
-killings wandering over to the club
with nothing on but red palama* ••
Sioux City Di
Dry Hteara Vulcauking. a.,.,.. ,
Bprliifflehl Tire*, Krlinrm, \
HALLER BROS., «1 Peart Street. sio lx 'jj
purpose* on the farm. Ontfafa (V n
A*ta your local engine Jr •••hi
Pool & Billiard Tab!
Iceless Fountain,
0. N.JcnklnMnCe.,42l-423 Pearl St y
NO vri.T? NV *;*•«.
H««ia Mml Gav.llne . \H)|
K 3 r a ‘ n,e “‘ r ”* ra, “-Md
V . Bridge u.
Xft. .nJ cr-’WhtlA. n.
1, rubier plate
K>c. MtMicrn equipini ut. \\ r
Dr.C. A. Taylor,Cor. 4th & Jackson SL.Sioo
Stock Yards, Sioux City,
You Get Value Received WhrnYoal
■ ■ The kind with
Sold by all rroerrs. the ban.!, urPU |_
One Man to Have Kid Tramfeng
but He May Have Hud
a Grouch.
'•What do you think of this 5
of hating the countries . \ hang* g
dren?" asked the Sewickley man
"I don't think anything about t'
said the Wilkinsburg man Whati
the idea?"
"An English family, L : . i.-tance.®
changes children for a << i vufjat
with a German family, R. h-rencas
first exchanged and all that font
"I see."
“Thus both sets of cl.iuiren giti
chance to learn another 1 tig;actu
get acquainted with another ouaaj
It’s quite a scheme."
"It's an elegant scheme.’’ «!♦ clitd
the Wilkinsburg man. “My ncighiel
have a kid that 1 would like to m
exchanged with some laiuily hi
Births In the Air.
The International Congress on .U
rial Legislation, sitting at
Switzerland, is evoking a k
tailed code of laws. One of its M|
gested paragraphs reals: in th
event of a birth occurring in and
craft the pilot is to ent< r the t d
in his log book and must notify A
fact to tho authorities at ’he M
place at which he des<en!s
Accounted For.
“How is it so many i" l «
able to get the money to I jy
biles with?"
"If you only notice, they are the id
test things in the world with whlcH
raise the dust."
Fitting Crime.
He —1 know who egged you ot«
She—Who egged me on?
He —That old hen.
When a couple is engaged ;l * ey
at each other’s virtues with
tying glasses, which are tbn 'U
on their wedding day
Even a homely man !••
of how the women run after MU-
Wise Doctor Gives Pcstum $0
A wise doctor tries to give na ur *
best chance by saving '*•* ,g
strength of the already v\..au“‘
tlent, and building up w
with simple but powtiiul
"Five years ago,” writes a ’•
”1 Commenced to use : !
own family Instead of .
a well-known fact that i<a »«•
injurious as coffee because I' '
caffeine, the same drug found n
fee ) "1 was so well pleased
results that I had two gro* •*
it In stock, guaranteeing i ,s •“ *' g|
"I then commenced to r<-«
to my patients In place ot
nutritious beverage. The ‘ ‘.jjj
Is, every stone in town is ~ s
it, as it has become a bout*
cessity In many homes. ~ s d
•‘l’m auro I prescribe Postui ;
cn as any one remedy in ’l“’ 1
Medica—ln almost every < :u ‘ #
test lon and nervousness 1 1
with the best results. into
‘‘When I once introduce
family. It Is quite sure to n n
shall continue to use it ami 1 3
it In families where I practi“’
"in convalescence front p”'“
typhoid fever and other casesi
it at a liquid, easily absm >
You may use my letter ns a
any way you tee fit.” Name P
Pottum Co., Rattle Creek. NJ™’ »
Read “The Road to Well<»»*
Pkgs. “There's a reason " A *
Ever reed the ebeve
••• appear* treat thwe VLn ***
*•*«!•*, tree, rwll
'v* ' * <
of ***• Nort hwey,»
' lu! t**u,
sl '-rtdli

xml | txt