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Sturgis advertiser. (Sturgis, Dakota [S.D.]) 1887-1???, July 26, 1887, Image 3

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Persistent link: https://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn97065761/1887-07-26/ed-1/seq-3/

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Jf|» Dson of the Gospel Ark so
Jxm a World May fintu la and
be 8aved.
4M they Swing Outward and Inward for
Ingress and Egress.
Thon and all Tby Home Into
the Arit.
DES MOINKS, la., March 27.—The
Rev. T. De Witt Talniage, D. D.,
preachoil in this city this morning to a
tjast congregation. His text was Gen
«ris vii, 1:
'•Gome thou and all thy house Into the ark."
The eloquent prcaclier said:
We do not need the bible to prove
the deluge. The geologist's Jiammer
announces it. Sea shells and marine
formations on the top of some of the
highest mountains of the earth prove
that at some time the waters washed
Over the top of ihe Alps and the Andes.
In what way the catastrophe came we
know not whether by the stroke of a
comet, or by flashes of lightning,
changing the air into water, or by a
Stroke'of the hand of God, like a stroke
the ax between the horns of the
oir, the earth staggered. To meet the
catastrophe, God ordered a great ship
built. It was to be without prow, for
it was to sail to no shore. It was to be
without helm, for no" human hand
ahould guide it. It was a vast struc
ture, probably as large as two or three
Cunard steamers. It was the Great
Eastern of olden time.
J'he ship is done. The door is open.
The lizzards crawl in the cattle walk
in the grasshoppers hop in the birds
fly in. The invitation goes forth to
Noah: "Come thou and all thy house
into the ark." Just one human family
embark on the strange voyage, and I
hear the door slam shut. Agreatstorm
sweeps along the hills, and bends the
eedaj's until all the branches snap iu
the gale. There is a moan in the wind
like unto the moan of a
The blackness of the heavens
is shattered, by the' flare of the
lightnings that look down into the
waters, and throw a ghastliness on the
face of the mountains. How strange
it looks! How suffocating the
air seems!
The big drops of rain plash upon the
upturned faces of those who are watch
ing the tempest. Crash! go the rocks
in convulsion. Boom! go the bursting
heavens. The inhabitants of the earth,
instead of fleeing to house-top and
mountain-top, as men have faileied,
sit down in dumb, white horror to die.
For when God grinds mountains to
pieccs, and lets the ocean slip its cable,
there is no place for man to fly to. See
the ark pitch and tumble in the surf
while from its windows the passengers
look out upon the
and the carcasses of a dead world.
Woo to the mountains! Woe to the
I am no alarmist. When, after the
,20th of September, after the wind has
for three days been blowing from the
northeast, you- prophesy that the equi
noctial storm is coming, you simply
state a fact not to bo disputed. Neither
am I an alarmist when I say that a
storm is coming, compared with which
Noah's deluge is but an April shower
and that it is the wisest and safest for
you and for me to get ^safely housed
for eternity. The invitation that went
forth to Noah sounds in our ears:
"Come thou and all thy bouse into the
Well, how did Noah and his family
come into the ark? Did they climb in
at the window or come down the roof?
No they went through tho door. And
just so if we get into the ark of God's
mercy, it will be through
The entrance to the ark of old must
have been a very large entrance. We
know that it was, from tho fact that
there were monster animals in the ear
lier ages and, in order to get
them into the ark two and two,
according to tho Bible statement
the door must have been very wide and
very high. So the door into the
mercy of God is a largo door. We go
iu, not two by two, but by hundreds,
and by thousands, and by millions.
Yea, all the nations of the earth may
go in, ten millions abreast.
The door of the ancient ark was in
the side. So now it is through the
side of Christ—the pierced side, the
wide-open aide, the heart side—that
we enter. Aha! the. Roman soldier,
thrusting his spear into the Saviour's
side, expected only to let the
QUt, but he opened the way to
tito world in. Owhui i v
let all
BROAD qosret"
to preach. If a man is about to give
an entertainment, he issues one or two
hundred invii.aions, carefully put up
and directed to the particular persons
whom he wishes to entertain. But
God our Father makes a banquet, and
goes out to the front door of heaven,
and strctcties out his hands over land
and sea, and with a voice thai pene
trates ihe Hindoo Jungle, and the
Greenland ice-castle, aud Brazilian
grove, and English factory, and Ameri
can home, cries out: ''Come, for all
"things arc now rca "y." It is a wide
The old has been taken
treasures on days of great rejoicing.
(jBo Christ, our King, comes and scat
ters the jewels of heaven. Rowland
Hill saiil that he hoped to get into
heaven through tho crevices of tho
door. But ho was not obliged thus to go
In. After having preached the Gospel
Ih Surrey Chapel, going up toward
heaven, the gate-keeper cried: "Lift
up your heads, ye everlasting gates,
and let this man come in." The dying
thief went in.
went it. Europe, Asia, Africa,
North and South America, may yet go
through this wide door without crowd
ing. Ho, every one!—all conditions,
all ranks, all people. Luther said that
this truth was worth carrying on one's
knees from Rome to Jerusalem but 1
think it worth carrying all around the
globe, and all around the heavens, that
"God so loved the world that Ho gave
His only-begotten Son, that whosoever
believeth in Him should not perish, but
have everlasting life." Whosoever
will, let him come through the large
wanted a fulcrum on which to place his
lever, and then he said he could move
the world. Calvary is the fulcrum,
and the cross of Christ is the lever and
by that power all nations shall yet be
Further: It is a door that swings
both ways. I don't know whether the
door of the ancient ark was lifted, or
rollel on hinges but this door of Christ
opens both ways. It swings, out to
ward all our woes it swings in toward
the raptures of heaven. It swings in
to let us in it swings out to let our
ministering ones come out. All are
one in Christ—Christians on earth and
saints in heaven.
"One army of the living God,
At His command we bow
Part of the host have crossed the
And part are crossing now."
Swing in, O blessed door! until all
the earth shall go in and live. Swing
out until all the heavens come forth to
celebrate the victory.
But, further, it is a door with fasten
ings. The Bible says of Noah:
A vessel without bulwarks or doors
would not be a safe vessel to go in.
When Noah and his family heard the
fastening of the door of the ark, they
were very glad. Without those
doors we're fastened, the first
heavy surge of the sea would
have whelmed them and they might
as well have perished outside the ark.
The Lord shut him in." O, the
of the ark. The surf of the sea and the
lightnings of the sky may be twisted
into a garland of snow and lire—deep
to deep, storm to storm, darkness to
darkness but once in the ark, all is
well. "God shut him iu."
There comes upon the good man a
deluge of financial trouble. He had
his thousands to lend now he cannot
borrow a dollar. He once owned a
store in New York, and had branch
houses in Boston, Philadelphia and
New Orleans. He owned four horses,
and employed a man to keep the dust
off liis coach, phaeton, carriage and
curricle now he has hard work to get
shoes in which to walk. The great
deep of commercial disaster was broken
up, and fore, and aft, and across the
hurricane deck the waves struck hitu.
But he was safely sheltered from the
storm. "The Lord shut him in." A
flood of domestic troubles fell on him.
Sickness and bereavement came. The
rain pelted. The winds blew. Tho
heavens are aflame. All the gardens
of earthly delight are washed away.
The fountains of joy are buried lifteen
cubits deep. But, standing by the
empty crib, and in the desolated nur
seiy, and in the doleful hall, once
a-ring with merry voices, now silent
forever, he cried: "The Lord gave,
the Lord hath taken away blessed be
the name of the Lord." The Lord shut
him in." All the sins of a
clamored to his overthrow. The
broken vows, the dishonored Sabbaths,
the outrageous profanities, the misde
meanors of twenty years, reached up
their hands to the door of the ark to
pull him out. The boundless
ocean of his sin surrounded
his soul. howling like a
simoon, raving like an euroelydon,
But, looking out of the window, he saw
his sins sink like lead into the depths
of the sea. The dove of heaven brought
an olive branch to the ark. The wrath
of the billow only pushed him toward
h'.aven. "The Lord shut him in."
The a$me door fastenings that
kept s,
in keep the world out. I« am glad to
know that whim a man reaches heaven
all earthly tt»ubles are done with him.
Here he m^pjfeave had it hard to get
bread for his family there he will
never hunger any more. Here he may
Jiavc wept bitterly there "the lamb
that is in the midst of the throne will
lead him to living fountains of water
and God will wipe away all tears from
his eyes. Hero he may have hard
work to get a house but iu my Fa
ther's house are many mansions, and
rent day never comes. Here there are
many death-beds, and coflins, and
graves taere no sickness, no weary
watching, no choking cough, no con
suming fever, no chattering chill, no
tolling|bell. no grave. The sorrows
of life shall come up and knock at the
door, but no admittance. The per
plexities of life sLall come up and
knock on the door, but no admittance.
Sitf'e forever! All the agony of earth
in one wave dashing against the bul
warks of the ship of celestial light shall
not break them down. Howl oiy ye
Winds! and rage, ye seas! TheLord—
apart, and its two JMS itru stood up I the ark
for the door-posts, so* far apart that all I Be sure that you bring your husband
tho world can come is. Kings eoattorJ aod wife with ym, How woal4 Hwh
The Lord shut him ip."
O, what a grand old door! so wide,
so easily swung both ways, and with
such sure fastenings. No burglar's
key can pick that lock. No swarthy
arm of hell can shove back the bolt. I
rejoice that I do not ask you to come
aboard a crazy craft with leaking hulk,
and broken helm, and uufpstened door
fifty cuty|s wide and |0O ieet long,
and a door so large that the round
earth, without grazing the posts, might
be bowled in.
"Come thou and all thy house into
have felt if, when he heard the rain
pattering on the roof of the ark, h#
knew that his wife was outside in the
storm? No she went with him- And
yet some of you are on the ship "out
ward-bound" for heaven, but your
companion is unsheltered. You re
member the day when the marriage
ring was set. Nothing has yet been
able to break it. Sickness came, and
the finger shrank, but the ring staid
on. The twain stood alone above a
child's grave, and the dark mouth of
the tomb swallowed up a thousand
hopes but the ring dropped not into
the open grave. Days of poverty
came, and the hand did many a hard
day's work but the rubbing of the
work against the ring only made it
Shall that ring ever be lost? Will the
iron clang of the sepulchre gate crush
it forever? 1 pray God that you who
have been married on earth may be to
gether in heaven. Oh! by the quiet
bliss of your earthly home by the
by all the vows of that day when you
started life together, I beg you to see
to it that you both get into the ark.
Come in, and bring your wife or your
husband with you—not by fretting
about religion, or ding-donging tnem
about religion, but by a consistent life,
and by a compelling prayer that shall
bring the throne of God down into your
bedroom. Better live in the smallest
house in Brooklyn and get into heaven,
than live fifty years in the finest house
on Madison Square, and wake up at
last and lind that one of you, for all
eternity, is outside the ark. Go home
to-night lock the door of your room
take up the bible and read it together,
and then kneel down and com
mend your souls to Him who
has watched you all these years and,
before you rise, there will be a flutter
ing of wings over your head, angel
crying to angel: "Behold, they pray?"
However many children we may
have, we have none to give up. Which,
of our families, can we spare out of
heaven? Come, father! Come, mother!
Come, son! Come, daughter! Come,
brother! Come sister! Only one step
and we are in. Christ, the door,
swings out to admit us and it is not
the hoarseness of a stormy blast that
you hear, but the voice of a loving and
patient God that addresses you, say
ing: "Come thou and all thy house
into the ark."
And there may the Lord shut us in.
But this does not include all your
faimily. Bring the children, too. God
bless the dear children! What would
our homes be without them? We may
have done much for them." They have
done more for us. What a salve for a
wounded heart there is in the soft palm
of a child's hand. Did harp or flute
ever have such music as there is in a
child's "good night?" From our
coarse, rough life the
are often driven back but who comes
into the nursery without feeling that
angels are hovering around? They
who die in infancy go into
glory, but you are expecting your
children to grow up in this world. Is
it not a question then, that rings
through all the corridors, end wind
ings, and heights, and depths of vour
soul, what is to become of your
for time and for eternity.
say, "I mean to see that they have
good manners." Very well. "Imean
to dress them well, if I have myself to
go shabby." Very good. "I shall
give them an education, and I shall
leave them a fortune." Very well.
But is that all? Don't you mean to
take them into the ark? Don't you
know that the storm is coming, and
that out of Chirist there is no safety? no
pardon?' no hope? no heaven?
How to get in? Go in yourself. If
Noah had staid out, do you not suppose
that his sons, Shem, Ham and Japhet,
would have staid out? Your sons and
daughters will be apt to do just as you
do. Reject Christ yourself, and the
probability is that your children will
reject Him.
On one of the late steamers there
were a father and two daughters jour
neying. They seemed extremely poor.
A benevolent gentleman stepped up to
the poor man to proffer some form of
relief, and said: "You seem to be very
poor, sir." "Poor, sir," replied the
man "if there's a poorer man than me
a troubling the world, God pity both of
us!" "I will take one of your children
and adopt it, if you say so. I think it
would be a great relief to you." "A
what?" said the poor man. "A re
lief." "Would it be a relief to have
the hands choppe.J. off from the body,
or the heart torn from the breast? A
relief, indeed! God be good to us!
What do you mean, sir?"
Pretty Picture of a Sister's Love.
Mr. S. M. Clark in the Gate City:
One of the prettiest things in this world
is a sister's love. It is the most per
fect form of what is now the fashion
to call altruism. Here the love is
wholly otherness and not selfness.
lxrd, how she bothered you when you
were youngsters. You could't have
your own private little rogueries. She
would not let you. You could easily
have gone off fishing or swimming
many a time and father and mother
never known of it, but you could not
get away from her. You had but fairly
got safely and securely started you
thought when here she came: "Wait
for me! her little legs, arms and eyes
all going with serene and trusting con
fidence that you and she were wholly
agreed and ready to make Rome howl
if she found you weren't. How you
wanted to pound her, and yet you
would have fought, the biggest boy in
America if he had touched her. When
you stormed at her in your blustering
way when she came up gleeful and
panting she lsoked at you with great,
surprised, loyal eyes, the tears in
which didn't veil the wonder or the
faith in them that she was not as indis
pensible to you as with all her loyal
little soul you were to her.
An English vicar has been sentenced
to imprisonment with hard labor for
i i-iirhtcen mouths ior marrying a couple
who had not procured a license or had
Uw bans proclaimed.
IRETMMA' (Zomev.
Where the Strategists of the Civil War
Met Face to Face-.Where the Confed
erates Achieved Their First Success and
Finally Their Crushing Blow.
The Valley of Virginia, called also
from the river that drains it, the Val
ley of the Shenandoah, was the scene
of operations from the very beginning
of the war which exercised a powerful
influence on every Virginia campaign.
It was the field of constant confederate
action whether on a large scale under
Johnson, Jackson, Ewell or Early, or
on a smaller one under Ashby, Imbo
den, Gilmore and Mosby. It was a
tempting field for the strategists of
armies, but it was particularly advan
tageous to the confederates. Running
in a northeasterly course, its eastern
wall was the Blue Ridge its western
the North Mountains, forming a well
protected avenue into the rich country
of Maryland and Pennsylvania and to
the roar of Washington. In several
critical situations a confederate
in the Shenandoah had, by vigorous
demonstrations, paralyzed the Army of
the Potomac. In the campaign of
Bull Run. Johnson, by moving his
Shenandoah column swiftly to the aid
of Beauregard, enabled the confeder
ates to win the first pitehed battle of the
war. In that valley Jackson began
the campaign of 1862 and was at first
beaten by Shields, but a few months
later fully indemnified himself when he
fell upon Shields at Fort Republic, de
feated Fremont at Cross Keys, cap
tured the garrison at Front Royal,drove
banks across the Potomac, and so ter
rified the government as Washington
that the impending junction of. Mc
Dowell and McClellan was broken up
and Richmond freed from thru tuned
capture. In was from the valley th it
Jackson, repeating on a bolder circuit
Johnston's movement to Bull Run in
1861, hurried to turn the federal right
on the Peninsula. Lee used
the Valley as his line of
communications for the Maryland
campaign, and captured at Harper's
Ferry 11,000 men, 73 guns and 13,000
small arms and there he sought rest
and supplies when retreating from An
tietam. It was the confederate route
of invasion after Chancellorsville,
where several thousand men and a score
of guns were captured from Milroy,
and thither again Lee fell back after
Gettysburg, preterving a resolute front
along the line of the Opequan.
So many disasters did the union
forces suffer in this field that it came
to be called the "Valley of Humilia
tion," and it was not until itw as finally
wrested from confederate control that
the campaign against Richmond became
successful. In the spring of 1864 the
department of West .Virginia, which
included the Shenandoah Valley, was
under the.command of General Franz
Sigel. It was in Grant's general plan
that an aggressive movement should
be made in this department at the
same time and in co-operation with the
movements elsewhere, and Sigel was
accordingly directed to form two col
umns, one under Generals Crook and
Averill, to break the Virginia and Ten
nessee railroad at New River bridge,
and also, if possible, destroy the salt
works at Saltville while the other col
umn under Sigel himself was to pro
ceed up the Shenandoah Valley and
distract attention from Crook by mena
cing the Virginia Central railroad at
Staunton. Sigel's was primarily a de
fensive department, designed to secure
the north from invasion, but that
attitude would not be changed by
advancing columns threatening im
portant lines of supply. The
column under Crook and Averill ad
vanced into West Virginia and accom
plished a part of their task by destroy
inga portion of the railroad, and the
bridge at New River, but they found
Saltville strongly held by John Morgan
and his troops, and did not attack
there. After a battle at Cloyd's Moun
tain, in which Crook drove the confed
erates, the railroad was further torn up
and many military stores destroyed.
Crook and Averill then withdrew across
the Alleghanies, having achieved the
principal object of their movement.
The operations under Sigel's imme
diate command did not prove quite so
fortunate. In marching up the valley,
his force numbering about six thousand
men, a confederate force of about the
same number under General Brecken
ridge struck him a hard blow at New
Market, on the loth of May, and sent
him down the valley again. Grant
then requested that Sigel should be re
lieved and the department placed un
der the command of General David
Hunter, which was accordingly done.
Hunter assumed command on the 21st
of May, and, with re-enforcements that
brought his command up to 8,500 men,
pushed up the valley past the sceue of
Sigel's defeat towards Staunton. On
the 5th of June, at the village of Pied
mont, some twenty miles northeast of
Staunton, he encountered the confed
erates under General Jones, and after
a sharp battle completely routed them,
capturing 1,500 prisoners and inflict
ing a heavy loss. He now marched
into Staunton, where on the 8th of
June the forces under Crook and Aver
ill joined him, bringing his army up to
18,000 men. A forward movement
against Lvnchburg was now com
menced, *»d the troops in high spirits
sang the refrain:
For we're going down to Lynchburg town
To get de tobacco d&t Is down dar.
Instead of moving by way of Char
lottesville, as events demonstrated
would have been the better route, Hun
ter moved by way of Lexington, at
\yhich place he burned the Virginia
military institute, and also all tho
property of John Letcher, the then
governor of Virginia, who had called
upon the people to rise and wage a
guerilla warfare against the invader*.
A quantity of military stores was also
captured and destroyed. A number
of circumstances combined to delay
General Hunter at Lexington a day too
long, and thus prevented the capture
of Lynchburg. When lie moved on to
that place, which he reached on the
17th pi June, Lc lujiftd it ^ongljr
fended by a large force under General
Early, whom General Lee had sent to
drive Hunter back. Crook and Averill
promptly attacked the outworks of
Lynchburg the evening of the 17th,
but found them strongly held.
Throughout the night Hunter heard
trains moving, drums beating and con
stant cheering, which indicated that
Lynchburg had been succored, but he
felt confident of taking It, providing
the reinforcements were not a corps
from Richmond. The next day Hun
ter attacked in force, but without suc
cess. Assured now that Early's corps
had arrived, and that the town could
not be carried, Hunter withdrew and
commenced his retreat. Early started
in pursuit the next day, and coming up
with the rear guard under Averill had
a sharp skirmish, in which the union
forces suffered the most.
Hunter was in a very bad position.
His rations were nearly gone, he had
not enough ammunition for a pitched
battle, and he was 200 miles from his
base of supplies. To return by way of
the valley was impossible, except after
a pitched battle, or, perhaps, several
pitched battles. For this he was not
prepared. He therefore resolved to
retreat by way of the Kanawha valley
into West Virginia. This he finally
accomplished successfully, but in so
doing he uncovered the Shenandoah
valley completely. He finally came
out on the Ohio river at Parkersburg,
but was not able to bring into service
again until long after Early had again
become complete master of the Shen
When Gen. Lee saw that Hunter's
retreat had opened the Shenandoah
valley he again attempted the maneu
ver which had i o often proved success
ful before in compelling the federal
commander to relax his hold on Rich
mond. Instead of recalling Early to
his side he ordered him forward into
Maryland, correctly surmising that this
course, by striking terror at Washing
ton, would cause troops to be sent to
its protection from the Army of the
Potomac, and thus relieve the pressure
on himself.
Early's army numbered about 17,000
men, with forty pieces of artillery.
Rapidly sweeping down the valley, he
reached Winchester on the 2d of July.
From here he sent out his cavalry £o
destroy the Baltimore & Ohio railroad,
and attempted to dispose his forces so
as to capture Sigel, who, with a small
force, had been stationed at and near
Maitinsburg, where there were large
government supplies since Hunter's
march up the valley. Colonel James
A. Mulligan, with a brigade, was in
command at Leetown. As soon as
Sigel became aware of Early's ap
proach he began sending off the gov
ernment stores and thus saved much
property. Tho confederate cavalry,
under Bradley Johnson, sent out to cut
off Sigel's retreat, encountered Colonel
Mulligan at Leetown, and after a se
vere tight was driven back. Mulligan
then slowly withdrew, presenting an
undaunted front and bringing off his
wounded, thus completely foiling
Early's project of capturing Sigel's
forces, as Ewell had captured Milroy's
the year before. Sigel, joined by his
•small garrisons of Leetown and Darkt
ville, withdrew the night of July 3
across the Potomac at Shepardstov-n,
and established himself on Maryland
Heights, where he commanded Har
per's Ferry and prevented its occupa
tion by Early.
Early was now in possession *f the
valley, and the rich agricultural regions
of Maryland and Pennsylvania were at
his mercy. His cavalry raiding in all
directions, levied tribute on the towns
and country. A requisition of $20,000
was levied on Hagerstown, and sup
plies of all kinds were gathered for the
support of the confederate, armies.
When it was learned at Washington
that it was General Early with a con
federate army, and not a mere raid of
troopers and guerrillas, that was thus
harrying the northern borders, the
authorities were greatly startled and
alarmed. It would be days yet before
Hunter could get around to be of use,
and the only forces at hand for the de
fense of Baltimore and Washington
were home guards, militia men and a
handful of troops under General Lew
Wallace in command at Baltimore.
By the 5th of July Grant become con
vinced that Early was in the Maryland
border, and he at once dispatched Rick
ett's division of the Sixth Corps, and
some dismounted cavalry to Harper's
Ferry by way of Baltimore. This
proved an opportune re-enforce
ment to General Wallace, but it was
not quite adequate.
On the 7th of July Early reached
Frederick, levied a contribution of
|200,000 on the city, which was paid,
and supplied himself with clothing,
shoes, bacon and flour. By this time
Wallace had gathered up such forces
as he could obtain and taken up a
strong position at Monocacy Junction,
a few miles east of Frederick, to con
test Early's further advance. Here on
the 9th of July a severe engagement
took place, resulting in Wallace's de
feat, but not until be had inflicted con
sideralbe loss on the enemy and seri
ously delayed the advance on Washing
ton. He withdrew to Elliott's Mills,
and the next day, July 10, Early moved
toward Washington. If he could have
been a day earlier, he might have fair
ly walked over the defenses of the caj,
ital, so meagerly "fcere they defended.
But while General Wallace was hold
ing him at bay, the remainder of
the Sixth corps, under General H. G.
Wright, was sent from before Peters
burg and arrived at Washington the
afternoon of the 11th, just as Early
was coming in sight of the capital.
Early soon pereeivcd, after some
skirmishes and attempts on the de
fenses, that it was held by veteran
troops, and he read the warning that it
was time to be away. i night of the
12th of July he commenced Ins retreat,
crossed the Potomac at Edward's
Ferry, and again reached the
valley by way of Lc "hnrg. O j. t..o
22d he reached Strasbui^, when his re
treat came to an end. He had inflicted
a great loss on the government, had
obtained enormous supplies, and was
the probable cause of prolonging the
war another year, but the main result
expected had not come to pass. Grant
never for one moment gave up his
grip on Richmond.
[To be concluded.]
—Herring-bone camel's hair fabric* ar
soft and pliable, and in all the deairaute
itartei tet& dsrk »jt&
People Who Write to Oongressmen—Eep
MssaUtive Barnes, of Cteoxgia, Anuu*
£#g Himself by Making a
Collection of Curious Communications—
The Things Which Men and Women
Wast to Know.
CMeago Herald: Congressman
Barnes, of Georgia, the largest man in
the Forty-ninth congress, went home
with an interesting scheme partially
developed. Mr. Barnes is the personi
fication of the idea, "laugh and grow
fat." He has just closed his first term,
during which he developed a mild ma
nia for collecting the queer letters of
which every member receives more or
less. Mr. Barnes got some of those
letters in manuscript, others he heard
read and stored in memory their con
tents. His plan is to compile the best
of them in a book with illustrations by
Mat G'Bryan, the Georgia artist.
The congressman is rich, and the
question of gain doesn't enter into his
plans. He believes he can produce
something which will make people
laugh, and, that accomplished, one of
the chief aims of his life will be at
tained. In pursuance of his scheme
Mr. Barnes expects to send to all the
members of the Fiftieth congress a cir
cular inviting them to turn over the
curiosities in their correspondence to
him, promising to withhold names
whenever it is desired.
Talking about this plan, Mr. Barnes
said: "The other day I received a let
ter from a man in my district who is
worth $20,000, a first-class business
man who runs a large store, thanking
me for a package of garden seeds
which I sent bim. After expressing
his gratitude he went on: 'The seeds
were duly planted, came up all right
with prospects of yielding the finest
crop I ever saw but lo! my misfortune
came. My wife let the chickens get
into the garden they scratched up
everything, and now I want you to
send me some more of the same kind.'
"That man," said Mr. Barnes, "lives
three doors from a drug store where
the best varieties of garden seeds are
sold, but rather than spend
15 cents for
them he stops his business to write me
for that amount of seed, pays two
cents on his letter, besides the cost of
paper, ink and envelope."
"Clements, of my state, told me of a
letter from one of his constituents,"
Mr. Barnes continued, "saying he had
a breastpin on which George Washing
ton carved his name with his own
hands. He thought as Clements was
in Congress, associating with million
aires, he might sell it for him and get
a few thousand dollars for it."
"But Candler beats that," said the
Georgian. "One of his lady constitu
ents recently wrote to ask him to call
on the president and cabinet, the su
preme court and fhe senators and rep
resentatives, and ask cach one of them
to send her an old cravat to be worked
into a crazy quilt. She added: 'P. S.
—Don't fail to ask Mr. Cleveland to
send a piece of his wedding tie and a
few pieces of Mrs. Cleveland's wed
ding dress and a piecc of the bridal
veil also, a piece of the dress his
mother-in-law wore at the wedding.'
Mr. Barnes also tells the following:
A Catholic priest sent a letter to
Speaker Carlisle, asking him if he
would act as agent to dispose of tickets
for a raffle at a fair. He thought the
speaker's influence would induce many
to contribute to a good cause.
Mr. Hatch, of Missouri, while he was
pushing the pleuro-pneumonia bill, got
a letter from a lady who said she had
read with great interest his work, but
she could tell him that he was going to
vote away millions of the people's
money for nothing. She had a simple
remedy, which would cure muriain,
Texas' fever, pleuro-pneumonia, hog
cholera and pips in chickens. If he
would obtain the patent and secure
congressional indorsement she would
go halves with him, and they would
make two fortunes.
John M. Allen, the humorist of the
house, received a request all the way
from Mississippi to go to the National
Museum and get a description of the
cane Andrew Jackson used to carry.
He was asked to have a photograph
taken, and to send the length, size,
color pnd kind of wood. The writer
said he wanted to make a duplicate.
An old lady somewhere in the Vir
ginia mountains wrtte to Mr. Cabell
that she had been told that he was a
descendant of Pocahontas, and that the
traces of aboriginal descent could be
seen in his features. She wanted to
know all about his family history, as
she thought she could trace a kinship.
A Brooklyn man informed Felix
Campbell that he had invented a flying
machine and wanted him to get an appro
priation through congress to perfect it,
and also to have the postoflice depart
ment adopt it for the rapid and safe
transit of the mails over the country,
without danger from mail robbers,
railroad collisions and fire.
From a mountain district in Pennsyl
vania a constituent penned his con
gressman the following:
am a snake hunter make my
living by hunting rattlesnakes and gelling
their skins and oil. I have discovered a rem
euv which is proof agin snake bites and other
pisln insects. I have been bit many times and
have cured myself every crack, besides many
of the reighbors. Now if you will ijet me a
patent for my medicine, I ain't got much
cash, but I will pay you in snake skins and
oil, which I will put to vou at the lowest mar
ket pricc. WlLI.lA ACKSOX,
Allegheny snake hunter.
A Minnesota member exhibited to
Mr. Barner the following:
—Will you do me
the favor to ask Mr. Cleveland ll there is any
chance to make good Investments in real es
tate near his country place, and whether the
boom has passed by. I have read in the
papers that large fortunes have been made
ll'itt vicinity on Ins judgment. 1 am not per
sonally acquainted with htm, or I would write
to him direct for his aavice in this matter. I
have got $1,600 iu bank at Minneapolis, which'
I would like to invest on the President's judg
•Just after making his famous speech
against the Mormon bill about the close
of the last session, Judge Bennett, of
North Carolina, received several etters
asking for his photograph. One pur*
ported to be from two ladies, and i$
bore a written postmark. It conclude#
as follows: Ss
From reading the reports of your speeds
we have been led to believe that you favor in'
person Ring Solomon of old and that roar
style is much like Cicero's. Your oplt i-.n«
seem to be as unconventional an Lot
Byron's, and we hope your habits are hue
Paul's. Send us your photograph and a iot'K
of your bair, if you are net bald aa we greatly
suspect. Sincerely.
The good offices of a Louisiana meu.
ber were besought by a m:.n who hadl"
invented a machine for bread making?
w i o u a n y u s e o a n s a n a s o a
cultivator. The writer wanted pat-,
ents, but had no model or drawing toi
send. He urged the congressman tr»
call at the patent office and fix it for A
him, adding by way of recommenda
tion that he had always voted the dem
ocratic ticket.
An inventive Texan i.n Mr. Throck
morton's district wrote. "Vote noi
money for naval ships. I bare made af
discovery by which I can destroy any:
naval fleet that ever did or ever will*
float on the sea, without firing a gun,
at a distance of twenty miles. It is
done by the concentrated powers otf.
the sun's rays. The heat is so intense,
that it will melt iron or steel, thus de
stroying ships. Please pass a bill au
thorizing mv system to be given a trial.
If the United States doesn't want it
England will."
A Missouri member was asked to
get a place in the geological survey by
a man in that state claiming the power
te show the whereabouts of valuable
minerals by second sight.
Mr. Felton, of California, was asked
to obtain from Hindoostan the mano-
wah plabt. The writer enclosed fl.
and explained that he had been writing
to the United States consul and oonMf
get no reply.
A Story from the Wild West
Chicago Herald: "Talking abort
the west," said a commercial traveler,"
"my business calls me a good deal t»
Colorado and New Mexico, and I have
many acquaintances and friends out
there. One of my friends is a littl«
fellow named McDermott, editor of a
mining camp paper. He is not mucb
larger than a pint of cider, but he ha*
a tremendous nerve. He is as quick
as lightning with a gun, and is not
afraid of the best man that walks. He
was telling me of one experience he*
had a few months ago. A big, tough
fellow walked into his sanctum one
evening and announced that he he hadl
come to do up the editor. He had a
six shooter in his hand, and advanced
with it cocked. It happened that my
friend had just sent his revolver out to
be repaired, and he was without a
weapon. He tried to palaver with th®
desperado and talk him out of his pas
sion, in order to gain time. But th®
more he talked the fiercer the caller
became. Suspecting that the editor
was unarmed, he took fiendish delight
in Covering his victim with his revolv­
and telling him that he had only
six minutes to live. But my friend's*
brain was working at a lively
rate all this time, and while he
talked he held his pen in the flama
of the gas jet over his desk. With
out the desperado's suspect-^
ing what he was up to he suecccded in.:
getting his pen red hot—it took only a
few seconds—and then he made a jump
for his assailant so suddenly and with
such cat-like quickness that, before the
rufiian, taken cf his guard by the sup
position that the editor was unarmed,
could fire a shot, the little man had
thrown one arm around the big fellow'd
neck, and was jabbing his red-hot pen
into his face at the rate of 100 stroke*"
to the minute. Imagine the wounds
that big, sharp, red-hot pen must havt
made, held securely in a strong cellu
loid holder, and driven by the arm of a
man fighting for life. Think of the
sufferings that desperado, must have.'
endured in the the few brief seconds
before his agony conquered his eourw"
age, and caused him to throw his re**
volver to the floor as a token that h#
gave up the battle. That ruffian—hv
•vas drunk on the occasion—is now on#
of the best friends the little editor has»
though his face is badly scarred by thfs|
wounds inflicted on him. Over th#.
desk of my friend now hangs a pen^
still covered with blood-stains its whol#:
length, and over it is a placard, writte#,
in the blood that formed upon it ius*
after the battle: s
Every one should read an hour
two every day. It is very easy for on#
to say that one hasn't the time, bu#
there are few persons who will rea|
this that cannot make the time. Giv#,
up running around town with th#
boys after the store closes at night an#
go to your room and read some itvs
structive book for an hour or more*
You will sleep better for it and youfc
life will always seem brighter, n*
matter how hard your lot may be, fof
good reading will -produce pleasant
thoughts, and there is nothing on thfc
face of the earth that can make a ma|T
happier than pleasant thoug-hta.
Reading will make you an intelligcdfc
man, and, no matter what you rea4»
provided it is not low or vulgar read
ing it will improve you. There isn't
man living that an hour's reading
Jay for a year will not noticeably in»
prove. Read books that interest yoif.
Never read a book just to be able t»
that you have read it. It will
you no good as is a waste of time, f*
you give it no thought or attention.
Easily Accounted For.
Omaha World: Bill collector Sea
here, I have written you a dozen let 1
ters about that bill you owe my firm
and you haven't even recognized thein.
Country editor-Was they writtu*
on both sides of the sheet?
Of course.''
"Ail such communication g* kite A#'
waste basket without reading."
—In Kej Went, Fla the other night, a
ate the tail off a mui« aud e*oaped alive.

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