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Z'S 0^ }. *!&. 5* 4»t J? 1 5 S V V k' $-lT' 7 ""St 1 Z «i! I s v.* 1 STfV 1 4 V $ AW*. |3|a (I vc it I N1 HIBAMHAYEICE OKFAXILI CAERIAGES. BY LABHT LtSKST. t'other d«jr whm I rid up to town fur Hzy'a jewelry, HMy wnld firlfe ye crazy plum the sights hnr 1» to see. Bottle humbugof 'email I've seed fer meny & day Wll mo Mayor a bran'-neir oarrlage, tfaot I heard iho ieople say na the team, ye mind Cot a most a tboa dollar s—cotintln' ont In U« front ft driver sot an' torn* pore feller hunt on behind Itwa, iuBt a u sci the critter bobbin' up an' down 14k* the u.:tor In the oiikls thet they call the fuuny clown. Wow el thet ain't fuss an' humbng wns'n eny travelin' show, What y» git em I'd aa leal apeada nlokel fer to know. Ain't a wa»on good enough fer folks ef it hes got the springs? An' I think u quiit'd sarve as well as them air buftler things. Don't the Bible tell us, Tildy, how It all hed come to ass Thet the bleasid Savior rid Jerusalem's streets upon&naaa? He'd a-hed a fancy carriage ef He thought fer the best, But Be sot a good example an* we orter to do the rest. That's a line an' He has drawed it, ef we want to toiler Him, An1 It never kin he did ef we go follerin' every whim. Now I'd ruther up an' foot it for a dozen mile or so Than to be a-hoppin' np aa1 down like monkeys is £t show. Thar'* the squire's single buggy, thet is rather plain and neat, But it wouldn't hurt him either ef he'd travel on his fee'. He's a takin' things too easy fer the solid rules of health, An' his laziness increases in purportion to his wealth. Fw example, take the Jonases, who oould bust the village bank, Ef they on'y had a mind to, an' jest give an easy yank. Tfattn s the sorter people, Tildy, a* might hev a carriage fine, But old Jones is quite detarmined to keep on the good ole line— Bay, it seems a sorter cur'ons Daddy Larkins doesn't try Fer to git a fancy carriage, so thet he kin pass us by When we go to meefcin', Sund'ys, an' kin nod his head an' say: "Wall, now, howdy, Brother Hayrick I aren't we out in style to-day?" What! He's bought a buggy, Tildy? Bid I hear ye tell it right? By tho peramias of Egup', ye hey thrun me in a fright! Now, how air we goin' to fix it—an' pore Lizyll feel ashamed, Joggin' 'long in our ole wagon—Tildy, IH be switched an' blamed 1 Ef I don't sell off some cattle an' come out in bigger style, With a double-seated carriage thetllmake the kaboodlo smile. Tea, wo orter her a carriage—-paesin' over what 1 said— Fer we've got to beat the l^arkina folks, an' keep a lap ahead! ~~Chicago Ledger, Ml WEAKEST NEIGHBOR. BY A. BOOMEB, 1 bare always regarded JJr. Jonas MoGuffin as a sort of harmless indi vidual, and did not think he -was any thing out of the common run until the other day. McGuflin ia my next door neighbor, on the south, and has but recently moved into this village. He is a benevolent-looking old gen tleman, of about fifty summers, and haa straggled through existence from" birth with a totally bald head. He says his grandfather was scalped by the Indians out West somewhere, and bethinks it "took," and has become hereditary in the family. But McGuffin's bald head has noth ing to do with this story but I thought I would mention it, as a bald-headed man's story generally carries more of an air of truth with it than one told by those supplied with a hirsuta covering. I stayed at home, one fine day last week, to prune our aged cherry tree in the yard, and had just finished the job, and seatod myself under the shade of the tree to rest myself with a quiet smoke and meditation on the happiness and appetites of those who earn then bread by the sweat of their brow, when MoGuffin, who had been- oritieally watohing the pruning operation from his porch, came up to the fence and looked over at me. "You didn't see the Temains of any oat in your yard this morning, did you he queried, introductively, as he helped himself to a seat on the top rail, and vigorously scoured his head with a large cotton handkerchief. I told him I didn't, and asked him why, "I didn't know. I fired most of my furniture at some cats on the fence last night, and I oughter to have killed somfe of 'em. Blast the dratted cats!" And he mopped his face more vigor ously than ever. "I guess you don't like pats," I vent ured to remark. "I should say not that is," he hastily added, "I never saw but one I admired, and that was a mechanical one could lick any dog on the hill down home." (It may be as well tp state that his home is somewhere in Maine,) I said nothing, but watched him through the rings of tobacco smoke. "I never saw anything like it," he continued. "A tramp printer by the name of Billjoy wandered into the town down there one summer, and getting a situation on the Oxford County Bear, married and settled down. He was the greatest man on inventions I ever saw always putter ing awav at something or other. "He had a large house-cat which met with a sudden death one night. He took the skin, stuffed it, and fixed a sort of infernal machine in it, and had it arranged so you could wind it np, set it a-going on the ground, apd the way that poor, stuffed cat would run, jump, claw, spit and growl, would have made you feci 'creepy' all over. Billjoy set it one night for some eats, assd the next morning he found the re mains of nine cats in his yard, and the xtniggle had only broken ft tooth in tho ratchet wheel that regulated the jaw of the- mechanical tom-cat. "Billjoj put aoxjie new steel sinews *nS. rnu»oIt» into hi* oat, together with a s\r set tilt ehuln'i iron tee li, ua«d to go uimn. the country iu the sumiit«r acOOpiii.' iu the shekels from Ibe ooimtjry ynfcaifl by matching his Oftt "A good deal of interest wai mani fested by the citizens in town about the eat, and when it became known that young Jenkins, son cf Aniaziah Jenkins, tlir prr ctr, was trainin his dog, 'Plunger,' who was a cro s be tween a bulldog mid a mastiff, and weighed fifty pounds, to fight, a match to a finish with Biiljoy's eat, which weighed about twelve pounds, the whole town was on the qui rive, so to speak. "But I should explain, apostro phized MoGuffin, 'why no one inter fered in the preparations for the fight. The tender-liiiiirted knew that the cat who MoGuffin paused, and as he had looked rather longingly at my pipu, I passed it over t.o him, and after polish' ing the stem off under his arm and getting it in running order, he con tinued: "Presently Billjoy arrived with his cat under his arm, attended by a ooterie of friends, followed shortly after by a team containing Jenkins and the dog. After tho dog had en put in the ring and tied to a stake, Col. Bangs, of the Daily Bangle, was chosen referee, and he proceeded at once to business. On placing the cat in the ring, the dog howled and tore at his chain in Vain endeavor to reach the cat, and his ratiug on the bookings jumped to 15 to 1. "The excitement was intense, even the Tarsell maidens letting their ends of gum rest heedlessly in their mouths. Presently Billjoy stepped into the ring, braced the cat's legs apart, pressed a spring, and jumped back with an 'all right let'er go!' "With a snap the leash was thrown off tho dog and he gave a rush and jump toward the cat. He seized an ear and tugged not a move. He let go his grip and si ared. "We then heard a subdued sort ©f rumble in tho bowels of the cat, and suddenly it gave a bound of about six feet up in the air, and came down in its tracks. The next moment the dog made a rush, grabbed the cat by the throat, and commenced to worry it. Still not a sign of disquietude on the part of the eat. "One of the deacons was about to hedge on hi3 bet, when suddenly some thing snapped in tho cat's neck, and the quiet spec acle of a large, over grown dog, holding a little inoffensive cat by the throat, disappeared, and nothing was visible but a gray and tan halo oi' hair, claws, and dirt, with few parks of fire, as the chilled iron teeth of the cat crunched on some par ticularly hard bone. "Bound and round the ring went the revolving cyclone halo, bumping up against the stakes, and occasionally making an entire circuit without touch ing the ground, leaving well-defined streaks of yelps, growls, and 'spits' stringing out on all sides. "Suddenly the rumpus doubled, in creasing the sp ed of the dim, misty mass of revolving dog and cat, till the' current of air had drawn into tho vor tex, and kept suspended in and around it a mass of twigs, 4ried lpaves, and dirt. "Then came the reaction. The halo fell to the ground and dissolved itself into a mangled and dead dog, and a somewhat battered but still lively cat. Before a movement nld be made, the cat grabbed the deg by the tail, gave one, or two preliminary chews and rum bles, and then a swath of people, from the ring to the outside of the crowd, were dashed to the ground, leaving a path a foot wide, while the late par ticipants in tliii 'unpleasantness' were making a bee-line due east. Young Slimmer, who was Just com ing up the road, said the first thing he knew he saw something like a gray streak coming toward him. He ate oped back just in timn to let it go by, and, as it swept by hii/i, growl ing and out frngm.'nts of broken teeth, cjg-wheels, etc,, he could ii-iKt iliu.tinr'Timli Ki11ir»v*R ovn'ner was only stuffed wouldn't hurt it any- occasionally emitting something like a way, and as Jenkins' dog was occasion- satisfied metallic pnrr. ally in tho habit of lunching off stray I "Billjov took the cat home after it children ventured into tho store, ran people really were eager to see the dog it placed on the front steps, so as to worsted, and one or two of the deacons keep strange dogs out of the yard and of the church wera so anxious to help out the good oause that several very hearty bets were made as to the outcome of the fight. "Meanwhile, preparations went vig orously on, and as Jenkins had read somewhere about the toughening ef sects of borax, the dog was ithed and scrubbed in a strong solution of borax every morning, to toughen the skin against the steel claws of the cat, Jen kins said. "A town meeting was called, and a legal holiday proclaimed for the day of the fight, so as to enable all who wished to see the match. A wave of immor ality seemed to have swept over the village. Maidens, old and young, held sewing-ciieles to discuss the matter, and at the meeting of tho Woman's Helping Hand Society it was l©solved, That we attend the fight lu u body, in full regalia and heavy morehiug or der. "Thursday was appointed by the selectmen as a day for the meet, and as the sun rose over the low mountains in the east, and kissed the opening buds on the sturdy maple treu, it sbono upon a long chain of people, in ve hicles of all kinds, on horseback and on foot, hurrying toward Pennyroyal Grove, where the contest waa to be held. "A place had been ropod off, a re serve of constables detailed to keep back the crowd, and the Oxford Buf falo Brass Band given a station in a large hay-rack just emptied of a load of maidens from the Tavsell Academy. "Ground had been rented for lojths, and the merry crunch of the frisky peanut, the gurgle of the red lemon ade, and the steady champ and dull plop of the pink spruce guin was heard on every side, the appearance of the grove suggesting an early spring circus or a fall fair." an hour, towing the r-mains of Jenkins' dog after it by the tail. ''.Jenkins lost, of course,'and the citi zens started back to town to resume business. "Billjoy headed a party of searchers, and started out inquostof the vanished hosts, and, after tracking them several miles through the woods anil arro'-a the river, Billjoy discovered wlia* lie thought, was a fur muff, but op going up to see he was thunderstruck at see ing his cat, driven stern tirst through a pine s ump, still languidly chewing a shin bone, to which was attached about a square yard of polished dog skin, and down" and when I left there he had he told me he had seen it, when a dog attempted to enter the yard, elevate its tail, let out one or two growls, and go running sideways down to the gate. By that time the dog would be in«the next town, and after watching awhile, it would contentedly march back to its old position on the steps. "I don't know about the last," apolo gized McGuffin. "He said so but he is so proud of the cat he thinks it can do anything but talk." And McGuffin fell off the fence and went into the house, while I mused about the average Yankee and his tricks, unmindful that McGuflin had carried off my pipe. But I am going to see him some time and get him to tell me some more about the iavcjiUj'A faculties of Billjoy. to A Dissolving Island. Oi the most interesting studies \i hie! Oi eaii navigators have bad 'hoic attention dm wit vvithiu the last few years h&* been the iv.pia '!iii«ppearance by th« action .t the no a of '.able Island, v inch lies in the direct path of al! transatlantic shipping bound to Philadelphia and New \'ork. The branch fjydrogruphio ofiiee in this city has junt en m-rved with notice by thu British Government that one of the lighthouais that flash their rays from the island for the guidance of sea going vessels has been undermined, and must be taken down and removed to ». site further inland. At present tho sen threatens to demolish the light and the tower. Sablo Island It situated In latitude forty three degrees Hftv-nine minutes, longitude fifty-nine degrees forty-seven nrnutes, and when the imperiled lighthouse waa erected consisted of a tract of low and sandy soil about iwell ty~five miles in length, upon which no vegetation but a dwarf species of eran bori» ever thrived. The steamer "Alert" sailed from Ilalit'iUL, N. 8., re cently with iuon and materials to be gin tile erection of a temporary light on a more sheltered site, 'The work will be prosecuted with despatch, and by reason of the marvelously quick inroads that the sea is making it is not believed that much time will elapse before another removal will be neces sary, From surveys made by an English ivar vessel a few weeks ago it has been I earned that within u period of seven tr eight years the length of the island lias been gradually reduced from forty to nineteen and a half miles, and that its width has fallen awav from two and a half to less than one mile. The mas ter of the surveying vessel says that the tuture of the island is anything but cheering for the navigator to contem plate, and should the ocean's ravages continue with their present destructive force, it will not b.) long before the sea will have a clean sweep, and there will not bo even a shoal left to mark the spot where once was seen twenty-five nules of clear land. With the disappearance of the light every ocean chart now in service will become valueless if not correctedj and life and property will be greatly im periled. A recent survey shows that the charts are at least ten miles wrong on the outer portion oi the island, and that sand hills represented as being 150 1'e-t high do not exist at all. Other changes iu the tojiography of the island are believed to have taken place within a recent period, of which mariners have no knowledge.—Philadelphia Record. A Hemp Hacienda in Yucatan* There are no less than three hundred peons and workmen employed on this estate, and everybody sesuus busy and happy. Every servant we met saluted us with a cheery buenos dias (good-day), and when we left all added to their re gretful farewell an earnest "to God I commend you." Outside the hacienda walls the homes of the laborers are scattered along the road, curious ellip tical huts with stonewalls and thatched roofs. At sunset, when the chapel bell sounded for oracion or evening prayer, all the peons and workmen, male and female, gathered about with reverent faces. When it was finished they came in prooession, one by one, and wished their masters and ourselves buenos noclies (good-night). In every portion of Yucatan this is the universal custom, servants and children never failing to give this salutation of peace as the last stroke of the vesper bell dies upon the air. We had intended to go on that uight, but yielded to earnest en treaties to remain—the more readilv, perhaps, because every one of us was suffering horribly from garriopotas (wood ticks), with which the whole peninsula abounds. They are tiny creatures, but produced an unbearable itching, festering bodily in the wounds they make. It is impossible to travel here without encountering them, and the only remedy is to keep one's self well saturated with petroleum, and change one's clothes every time a tree is passed. For dinner, in addition "to the usual eggs, frejoles and tortillas, .we had turtle-soup, roast pig, claret and honey. Let me tell you how that pig was cooked, in the national oay de rived from their forefathers— tli» same manner in which Bernal Diass says those respectable people cooked men and women—"by a sort of oven made with heated stones, which are put md6r gronndi" A hole was dug in the court yard, a largo fire kindled in it, and kept burning until it was heated like an oven. Two clean stones were plaocd in the bottom, tho dressed pig laid upon them and covered with leaves and bushes, packed down so closel? as bare ly to allow the smoke to cscapa The result was a barbecue of finest flavor, which even an enemy to pork must ad mire. As Indiana farmer got up in his .8l«t and stole his own mule and hid him U the woods, where the Sheriff, wiw came next day, couldn't find him tto serve execution, A GENKRAI.inundation BY oi the failed the dik«s ia Holland occasioned Iaas nf it iusiiil sniimntinir liifti Delicate JlfoctUMiijmi Disordered asd The most delicate on I intricate pieee of meeh afti in the human struct ro la the nerves. Aa the telegraphic wi os transmit the olcttrie forco. KO do thfso flpftoait-'i] tb* focai po.ui b«* 1he brain, where sensation centers. Mental anxiety weakens ihn wecthnnlsm. aurldon Rhocfcs paralyse it. but dv«jw»i,am in its most obdurate foo. This foe Is utioriv defeats hv the irre BiAtiblo tonic, Ilostft fr K-omneh HJtt^r-i, and the cewsation of dtbo der in the stomach Is re flected in brain and nei"- ©a bv restored tranquilli ty. and tranquillity of the nerves implie.r in thin iiiatancc. runcw vigor, A distinguished uiedi- CRIauthority navs. '"J ho victim or mirvoim ILIS- qmciludt' vhr find« cniovrti at m. hi mid br by oay nfceftsr:if». ehouM Know thai, neuro itfUfct be sought, arnonti agannft« which strength en i,hp nerve*, un i ah uir.'d.y Hoatotter S mn jich Bit tore hah jiio^d to the best of theae Malarial complain a oona'ipation. biliousness, inactivity of the kidn ys and rheumatism ften involve nervous tmuokis by *yuipa.by, and all aro eradicated by the Hitiers. Lighting a Cigar Witklee. A prominent New York lawyer arrived in Washington for a consult ition with an attorney of that city regarding some patent cases. During the conversation a match to light a cigar was lacking and the Wash ingtonian remarked that a pieee of ice would do. The New Yorker laughed and w is incredtilous, and the wager or a cham pagne supper was made. The Washing tonian took a piece of ice about an inch th'ck from the water cooler, whittled it into the shape of a disk, and with the palms of his hands melted its two sides convex, thns Riving it the form of a double convex lens or burning glass. With it he focused the pun's rays on the end of his cigar, thus lighting the cigar. While smoking the weed he enjoyed the chagrin of the New Yorker, who promptly paid tb» tat.. THE WEEKLY WISCOHSHT. I The WFF.KLY WISCONSIN, published at Milwaukee, Wis., is the best family newspaper and has the largest circulation of any news- I paper in the state. It is printed from new types and is always clear and legible. The subscription price is only $i.oo per year. The proprietors of this journal have made •arrangements whereby they can offer their patrons the beautifully illustrated atlas published by Rand, McNally & Co., contain ing 192 pages, bound in the best English cloth binding (and which alone sells for $4.50), with the »WEEKLY WISCONSIN one year upon pay ment of only $2.50, expressage free. We also offer a $2.00 barometer and ther mometer combined, which is vary accurate in fortelling changes in the weather, particularly high wind, storm and tempest, with the WEEKLY WISCONSIN one year for $I.K. CONSIN one year for $1.30, express free. A photo etching of Munkacsy's grand paint ing, "Christ Before Pilate," 21x30 inches ia size, and a most perfect reproduction, is gives with the WEEKLY WISCONSIN one year for only The Family Physician is another of the valuable premiums offered by the WEEKLY WISCONSIN. This Is a large, handsome volume, which alone sells for $3.00. We offer the Family Physician together with the WEEKLY WISCONSIN for $1.50. We also offer the Dictionary of American Polite-s, a book of 556 pages and over 1,000 subjects, together with the WEEKLY WIS $1.25. Finally, we offer what we call the Farmer's Bargain: We send the WEEKLY WISCON SIN and the Prairie Farmer, one year, to gether with the Report of the Fanners' In stitutes in a large octavo book, all for $(.50. This is the best offer ever made. Samples of both papers sent on application to u& Send all subscriptions to CRAMER, ADEEMS ft CKAMER, Milwaukee, Wis. The Progress of Science. Jenkins—Did you bear of the wonderfnl operation Sr. Ball performed on Smithem last week? Bilkins—No! What was it? Jenkius—Five years ago Smithers stepped on a tack, and yesterday the doc tor removed a ten-penny nail from the arm of Smithers' little bov. Prosperous Northern Settlement* in Ten nessee, Mlasiaslppi and Louisiana. The Passenger Depattment of the Illinois Central ilroad will issue a new pnmphlet nbour. November 1 desiribinjr the following prosperous Northern settlements in Ten nessee. Mississippi, and Louisiana, viz.: Jackson. Tennessee Holly Springs. West Puint, Jackson, Yazoo City, Terry Rnd Iirookhavon. Mississippi Kentwood. Bose land Coiony. H*mm nil, Crowle*-. Jennings, Lake Arthur. Welch. low i. Lake harl s, and Vinton. Louisiana. Hundreds of North ern families ure now happily loeaied at the above points, and in this new pamphlet will appear interesting letters from Nurth rn men. It wiil also give the dates o two special land excursions South, each month, fr pri' eipal points on tho line of the Il linois Central in I linois. Wisconsin. Iuwa and Dako'a. This pum lilet, and also "Southern Home-Seekers' Guii'e," should be read by every person contemplating a Southern trip, either for pleasure, heal h, or a permanent home. Copies of each will bo mailed frte 011 applica'ion to the under signed. at Manchester. Iowa. J. V. MtUT, General Western Passenger Agent. When she was a Child, she cried for Castoria, When she became Miss, she clung to Casteria, When sha had Children, she gave them Castoria, BUNKS—Hold on! What's your hurry? Jinks—Nearly driven to death. Half a bushel of letters to answer tuU uiurutug and lio one to help do it. "What has be come of that pretty girl typewriter you had?" "She's no use any more she went ft ud got married." "You don't say so. Whom did she marrv?" "Me." UKE pair of boots can be «*ved every year by using Lyon's Talent Metallic Heel hitifffenera THE most effective mantle of charity is made of sealskin. CTJACOBS OIL Jig* THECREATREMEDY FOR PAIN. (tares Rheumatism, Neuralgia, Sctafr* lea, Larabago, Backache, Headache* footliaehe, Sore Throat, Swelling** ^Frostbites, Sprains, Braisea, Cat% and Scalds. Said by and Dm'fit Everywhere, THE CHARLES A. V0GEIER CO Baltimore. Md. Diamond Vera -Gurn FOR DYSPEPSIA. ABO AU, F,T0WACS TROODKEIJ BTFCH AS: goar-SU:BicJi. iUtrtbora, Haysta. tsviac, Faed & 4af ia Ui* &&4 cht *aV tag. V*rr«wutt» aa4 i.ow-*ptrifca. At Druffgizi* and iteti »*.* or tent by madonrtr etcyl *if £i -U {5 .00} 14 tkimpt. SempUl tetii on rccn'id tf ^a' S inip. t::r -HARLESA voetui eo.. i»ntra#«. Bt ELY'S C1EAM BALM IS SURE TO CURE COLD EN QUICKJLT, A Remarkable Toad. Miss Amelia t. Edwards, the novelist, recently wrote «i contemporary as follows: "I suppose you u 0 heard ol toads being foand in pieces of rook, coal, etc., when broken open by the workmen's pick. I have to-day seen one taken out of a bed of c'av in a railway cutting. It is alive, but very inactive and semi-torpid. It seems to have no bones, it is so limp, and its legs tend any way. It has two beauti ful eyes, but does not seem to see. Its mouth is scaled up bnt it seems to breathe very slightly through its nostrils, though how it breathed imbedded in ciay it is hard to say. If it is 20,(KM) to 30,000 years since the glacial period when the clay was deposited, this toad goes a long way back into hoary anticjuitv, and was probably contemporaneous with the progenitors of Menes himself, But the toad lives still." A Matter of Necessity. Scene first, country schoolroom: Young Lady Teacher—"Tommy, you had better go out and wash your face." Scene second, the room two minutes and a half later: Young Lady Teacher—Tommy, you've washjd your face well, but yon've not wiped it nicely your forehead is all wet." Tommy (loudly, being aggrieved at un appreciated efforts)—" Wiped it as high as my shirt 'ud reach!" Young lady teacher's attention is suddenly demanded elsewhere. IT is amazing how quick the Lakers find out when flour goes up, and how awfully deaf and blind they are when a slump in the market knocks $2 off the price of a barrel. They must want to make some money out of the business. living on the Reputation of Others. "Take everything that I have bnt my good name leave mo that, and I am con tent. So said the philosopher. So say all manufacturers of genuine articles to that horde of imitators which thrives up on the reputation of others. The good name of ALLC^CK'S POKOUS PLASTEBS has induced many adventurers to put in the market imitations that are not only lacking in the best elements of the genu ine article, but are often harmful in their effects. The public should be on their guard against these frauds, and, when an exter nal remedy is needed, be sure to insist upon having ALLCOCK'S POKOUS PLAS TER. MBS. JASON—'"That fellow out in Ne braska who bet his wife against a cow on the election was no gentleman." Mr. Jason—"I should say not no gentleman makes a bet where he is sure to win no matter how it goes." Decreasing the Death Sate. The mortality among Consumptives has been materially decreased of late years by the use of Scott's Emulsion of Cod JAver Oil. i with Hypophosphites of Lime and Soda, Phthisis, Bronchitis, Abscess of the Lungs. Pneumonia, and Throat Affections are com pletely subjugated by a timely use of this excellent pulmonic. Palatable aa milk. Bold by all Druggists. Most Make a Showing. Old Gentleman (to little boy fishing on Sunday)—Won't your parents be very angry when they leain that you have been fishing on the Sabbath day? Little Boy—They will if you stand there much longer botherin' me an' scarin' the fish. I've had bad luck BO miiuut counts. far, an' ev'rv Catarrh Cured. A clergyman, after years of sufferingfrom that loathsome disease. Catarrh, and vainly trying every known remedy, at last found a recipe which completely cured anil saved him from death. Any sufferer from this dreadful disease sending a self-addressed stamped envelope to Prof. J. A. Law rence, 88 Warren street. New York City, will receive the recipe free of charge. THE price of wheat has began to drop. It's about time. In fact, tht drop may well be considered a due drop. Cancer Cared. Dr. F. L. Pond is having wonderful suc cess in the treatment and cure of cancer at the cancer hospital at Aurora III. There are numbers of cures recently made bjr him which are truly wonderful. Those iifliieied should not hesitate, but should go there for treatment at once. For information, ad dress Dr. F. Ii. Fond, Aurora. 111. NOBODY has invented a contrivance whereby a man at the theatre can drop a cent in the slot and get a clove. Moxiff ha- created the greatest excite ment as a beverage, in t^vo years, ever wit nessed, from the laetthat it brings nervous, exhausted,overworked women to good pow ers of endurancn in a few days cures the appetite for liquors and tobacco at onoe. and has recovered a large number of ca of old. helpless paralysis as a food only. A training-ecliool for Mrvants is In operation in Chicago. If the girls are good-looking they cannot find employ ment. It will be a waste of time to teach them. Sufferers from Coughs, Sore Throat, o'f., should try ~Brown'i Bronchial Tro ches," a simple but sure remedy. Sold only in boxes. Prloe 25 cts. Asx now we are told that the coloring matter in greenbacks is deadly poison. Bat yotl cannot scare us in that way. Are all more or less affected by catarrh. The eyes become Inflamed, red and watery, with dull, heavy pain between them there are roaring, buzzing noises in the ears, and sometimes the hearing is affected the nose isaseveru sufferer, with its con stant uncomfortable discharge, bad breath, and loss of the sense of smell. All these disagreeable symp toms disappear when the disease is cured by Hood's Sarsapariila. which expels from the blood the im purity from which the catarrh arises, tones and re stores the diseased organs to health, and builds up the whole system. "1 have taken Hood's Sarsaparilla for catarrh, and It has dose me a great deal of good. I recommend it to all within my reach." LUTHKR D. BOBBINS, JBRPI Thompson, Ct. •old by all druggists. six for $5. irepared only bjrC. HOOD & OO. Apothecaries, Lowell. Maes. 100 Doses One Dollar WughMewon^. HOW HANY LINKS IK TUG CHAIN? SI3S IN CASH CIVEN UMIM ef wic&c?* Tin FAMILY FUN®,-A Eyes Ears Nose Hood's Sarsaparilla &ewrp»P«rto wtrth A GOOD WATCH n EJX, e who REV jwkedt wfcich ibovtd ba ia crery bom*. AiAtm* Cono C&icagp, lil. time* th« Fofesitii*n FREE! e a Stem Winding WA1 warranted a reliable time-keep We will WATCX, WRrranted a reliable time-lteeper, to any one who will get seven subscriber* to the best 6ti^ent#-&-year paper in the world. Sample copies STiS AGRICDTUEIST, Racine, lii ADVERTISERS head tIS hSk" 4.' eaM •esvntj at she o0ee off raii-l bi •. v of b«de« 4' THE ONLY Brilliant A Durable Economical Are Diamond Dyes. They excel aO in Strength, Purity and Fastness. None others are just as good. Beware of imitations—they are made of cheap and inferior materials aad give poor, weak, crocky colors. 36 colors 10 cents each. Send postal for Dye Book, Sample Card, dirTtiona for coloring Photos., making (he finest Ink or ISkliag (10 cts. a quart), etc. Sold by Druggists or by WELLS, RICHARDSON CO., Burlington, 1ft. For Offding or Bronzing Fancy Article*, USB DIAMOND PAINTS. Gold, Silver, Bronze, Copper. Only 10 Cents* Boats Made from Tents. A Russian sergeant of the Semonovsky regiment has invented a method for the rapid construction of boats from tents. Upon experiment, in thirty minutes, under the desiguer's direction, a detachment of men chosen by haphazard improvised sev eral handy boats with the aid of green wood from a neighboring grove. Each boat readily supported four to six fully equipped soldiers. The Special Offer of THE YOUTH'S COXHANION, of Boston, Mass which we published last week, should be noticed by our readers, as the opportu nity comes but a year. Any new sub scriber to THEonce BBEAD COMPANION who will send $L 75 at once, can have the paper free to January 1,1889, and for a full ear from that date. 'J his offer includes four holiday num bers. for Thanksgiving. Christmas. New Year's, and Easter, all thelllustra- ed Week ly Supplements, and the Annual Premium List, with 500 illustrations. Really a $2.50 paper for only $1 75 a year. is higher, bnt the country is yet safe. There has been no advance in the price of pie. Chicago and Denver Express. Commencing Sunday, October 28, the only exclusive through Pu Iman-car line from Chicago to Denver, via Council Bluffs and Omaha, will be established over the Chicago. Milwaukee and Bt. Paul and Uni- n Pacific Railways, on the following time schedule: Leave Chicago daily 10:40 p. m. Arrive Council Bluffa 6:50 p. m. Arrive Omaha 7*05 p. m. Leave Omaha 8:00 p. m. Arrive Denver (second day) 5 .-25 p. m. This train makes direet connection with all trains from the east, arriv'ngiu Chicago a n i S e e i n g- a a e E u s i o n tickets to Colorado points now on sale. For tickets and sleeping-car reservations apply at city ticket officer, 63 Clark street, Grand Pacific Hotel, Palmer House, and Union Passenger fetation, k anal and street^, Chicago, or address F. A. MILLEB,Adams Assistant General Passenger Agent, 63 Clark street, Chicago. 111. Baby's Thoughts). "Why, John, what is the matter with baby?" she said as she came hastily into the house. "He is crying bitterly." "yes," replied the old man, as he handed the infant over "he is evidently thinking of what the governor of North Carolina said to the governor of South Carolina." IT is doubtful if Edison's new talking machine will ever supersede the old reliable sewing societies. THE railroad with the narrowest gauge most frequently has the largest xnorgage. 1 have suffered with catarrh in my head for yean, and paid out hundreds of dollars for medicine*. I was weak, and my eyes were so sore that 1 could not sew or read muoh. I began to take Hood's Sarsaparilla, and now my catarrh is nearly cured, the weakness of my body is all gone, my appetite is good—in fact, I feel like another person. Hood's Sarsaparilla is the only medicine that has done KM permanent good." MBS. A. CUNNINGHAM, Provi dence, B. I. *T have been troubled with catarrh aboat a year, causiug great soreness of the bronchial tubes and terrible headache. I used Hood's Sarsaparilla. and now my catarrh is cured, my throat is entirely well, and my headache has all disappeared." BICHAPX* GIBBONS, IT *iai!ton, O. 8c^d by all druggists. 91 six for Preyaiedonly by O. HOOD OO^ Apothecaiira, Lowell, Maws, IOO Doses One Dollar WlttTFn J° A rase. $5 AWAV I M&U J'iW fcoswe? with Sic, *i:J yvo wll) ne*tv« taeaiht its brlf m.4 KHt f»reilr *fw»p«p*r in fli* I'. S. «HTK'S win iiiie- l-Blt if |H 4tfe.$:v Mb. uext ilj It Mch- Fwniuro wiii be Mwcfe I, u4 FARM tn UU« lowlttT. IIMI LU Curtis 4 Wright, 283 Broadwar, N. Y. PIS O S U E fOB- O N S U i I O N ,i«te v wrurfclaff mi CamIV 1'Ul it i* lUiM. lit Knytkiaf in th. to •$ a day. ,lme* notunder the horse's feet, ter Safety Beiu-Holder Co, Samples worth $1.50, ^write Hollt, Midi. ACEPTS U will pay you to write a Qfiforvireu«u-B and term* :.» ks ana fufBi y bibies. Liberal terms ftiAi ih o HOUSE, KiDfltm PA8nUL£8i^ fiftfiC €T||nV B«oklw»epi»Mr1 A I E S O O K I A Novelty Rug H»chliie sent br inail tut- $i. B^U^actioB guara,iiteed or -money reduced U. Agente much i "'•vu w. rnmim ux bonk of col J&jrAgents wmxt&d Paine'8\ C£l£BY I COMPOUND CURES Neuralgia COW-BRAND SODA SALERATUS V,/ TJUa 1,0 COMMON SENSE CURE EE iM Gold*. Abthma, Broni hitiK, and all disease# rf the Head. Tiiroat and Lange sent on: 3fl HAVC' TDiAi Ingenious combination of medical scienco and ommoA UU tin I U I ilmL. KHiiKft. Continuous currentof medicated «. zonizedair.producing 6aluft oflVt an favorable chaiuro of climate. It cures when- all other rrnu-difh fail. I5a«l Headache i ured in Five Minutes* You fan be cured wbih-KJeepiiig: y^u can cured wliilf* reading orjHTformine any kind of ialwir. Illustrated book shewing origin! Ol ttitd 1j«» w u/ CUro «li of tlib Hi.'tfd, PROOFS "Paine's Celeiy Com pound. cured my r.mv oos sick headaches." "Paine's Celeiy Com pound. cured my r.mv oos sick headaches." Mi*s. A. Bit&rrHBj*, han Jacinto, Ca' Mi*s. A. Bit&rrHBj*, han Jacinto, Ca' Nervous Prostration Nervous Prostration "After usmg kx bot tles ol Fame's C*kry Cor I j.r- rai*n of rheumatism &AMOKL HuT(-"HlM«iOW, "After usmg kx bot tles ol Fame's C*kry Cor I j.r- rai*n of rheumatism &AMOKL HuT(-"HlM«iOW, Rheumatism South Cornish, N li South Cornish, N li Kidney Diseases "It nas dooe me rao?€ good for k.idnry than any other •$"cu ane," (JRO. AJfD All Liver Disorders ThfOut. ulid L»UUi£a Htfiitl free upon receipt of 2-cerit. Htaiui). Put up in a bandsome carte, COMBO! SEISE CATARRH CURE COJbS Stale Street, Chicago, IU.1 SHORT-HAND INSTITUTE and Ef»QLI8H TRAINING SCHOOL. Is the ST AM DAJCD IPfSTITDTJOIff and the AB£OT*r, Sioux City, low. "PaaM C®l*ry C-om UOuusi ln»a 1©CJ r«nefit for torpid mdigesUon, and biLous n a i i i Udajll, Quechee. t. 3 TO'MAKE A DELICIOUS BISCUIT ASK YOU Ft OKOCEH iron V'j* V Business College! NEW! NEW! NEW! MUSIC BOOKS. llarnnnv (^0 cts., |C doz.) L. O. Emer-: uDHg flalalUiIj)501^ For Singing GRtssea. Fnllfr set of melodious exercia- and easy song, with: explanations, and excellent collection of sacred -od secular music. Song Manual, Classes. Book I. (30 cts.) For Primary Song Manual, Book Sf* (40 cts.) Classes. Song Manual, Book IU. (50 ctf.) Classes. Oliver Ditson & Co., Boston. C. H. DrrsoN & Co., J. E. DITSON & Co. 367 Broadway,N. Y. 1228 Chestnut Bt.. Phi.*. Headache, Catarrh, Ci E E O Y E -JLSD- S E E O Y E FOUNDRY. A* most complete UCCTKITYK SIOUX CITY NEWSPAPER Bt, Paul. Mlna. UKI8N, DEFENDER A.STREL finvnesa Forms. VRiC a 1 yil I«S^nmsmsMy,Adthta©tK\3iiort» taugbt hy m@U. CircuJsai s*sCoi.L*(»*, fiaftalo. NX u*0 K .*!» i *i yX V u -1} c«J •2 Fttll in^ortiiM. AddTMalLB, BRYAJiT A SON. Proprietor., Chi. IB. We recommend this college to oar reader** .lkiuloB this paper wkrn you write ft 4 'S ''01 W s Wat Medium For Higher A new set of Graded School Son? Books, bv: L. O. Emerson. Teachers will find them useful^ and attractive. Helk nf Viotnrv (35 cts.) Tenney and Hoffman.' DCIJd Ul ?IwlUJJf uzrau8olly good Temper-* ane* Song Book. 104 first rate songs andf choruses. Send for specimen copy. Praicp in fei°th 4 so cts., $i.so do*., 40 eta*,.- NttlM! IN OUUg, boards, $4.20 Aoz.) IJ. O & K TJ. Kinerson. For Praise and Prayer Meeting® and Sunday Schools. May be safely com-, mended as one of the very best books of the kind. Classic Baritone and Bass Songs, b3auty. 33 songs by 27 different composers all£*^ •well known and eminent. This belongs among?'*"-" he Classical books, of which the others are:^ ,S07UJ Classic*, Song Classics for Ism Voic #,' Classic Trnor 8»nga, Piano Clonics. C'lotri* 'rat Pianist, each $1.00. at, k MAILED FOB BKTAEZi PBICK. jS -I *f'*" A I N Cures Neuralgia, Toothache, Sore Throat, iaache, catarrh. Croup, 5«re Th E U A i S Isme Back, Stiff Joints, Sprains, Bruises, Bums, Wounds, Old Sores and All Aches and Pains. lne many testlmonisU received bv up bthan pruve ail we eiaim for thi* rerp»»ri* Lt Bot only relieves the smm »ev»ire r*iiw i»n« It Cures You. That's th* i-t 5 MM I eta. BOOK ntwiied fr OIL COMPANY CHICAGO. BY DRUG^^5OJTT•- S«IVR, OOK m«Metl fr«e SIOUX CITY K V S l-'i FBIHTV weat of Chicago I* now located at Sioux City, la. With litest improved machinery for Electro yping and superior facilities for Engraving we are n w pared to execute the finest EICUVIICS and ELECTRO upon short otice. Our stock of BtiSiHSS CUTS ia the largest In the Northwest. Printers can •ave money by having their work done near home. Estimates upon all kinds of Engraving and Electro |ping will bo proaaptly furaiahed. TCB£ST¥Pilfi of all kinds wiil be done upon abort notice. Send for spec mens of our STMtlTTK run MTTElcast type bigb, requiring no patent Ixm a, eth«r aonorta, oontriraaoM. Prsprleters 918 Pearl Street, Sioux Citj, Iowa. kp^ClR of thm G. a, IN !-, H. V. We hare snSd Big 6 mtai'v years, and It iMC of *jtl fas, IJ. E I) ij. JL YC Chicago. 1H y CH K A co Cbicage. Sl.tttt, Sold by iruggisu.