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JT IS A FACT
i THAT CLEMENT o vrr.ui..u FOB. SALE, AT PRICES AS LOW A3 GOOD WORK CAN BE AFFORDED, A LARGE VARIETT OF FIRST-CLASS FUMITUBE CHAMBER SETS, a gnat Bedsteads; Mattresses, Lounges, PARLOR FURNITURE c, tfeo., fec. A ffice Assortment of Camp Chairs The bet place to buy BPETS, A ha ha over Twenty-five Different Styles to elect Irom, at Boston Prices. Paints, Oils, Varnishes In Large Stock and Best Material. AGENTS FOR THE AYERILl AND AS BESTOS PREPARED PAINTS. Ail kinds of PAINTING done at reasonable ra'.ee, ana by the best of help. SEWING MACHINES For gale unci to Uont. "o Call aid rxamina goods and prices be. jure parcnaoin eisewaere. W. E. CLEMENT, MOKRESVILLE, Vr. WM. H. BLAKE, 2d. Wholesa'e rd R-ta'l Te !er in Iiuillinr mimI Jiliel 1IA11OTAIIE Iron, jSTails, Grlass, PAINTS, OILS, WISHES BRUSHES, Brooms, Wooden Ware, Tin Ware, TABLE AND POCKET Carriage lata' asJ IMmM SUPPLIES Of Kvory Xofsoi-ittion, SARVIN PATENT WHEELS. ORIGINAL Concord Axles. HAZARD'S POWDER. 1 BLAKE BLOCK, SWANTON, VT. JOB PRIMTING Done at this Office KOTE HEADS, LETTEK HEADS, STATEMENTS, SHIPriNQ TAOS, ETC., ETC. f E, Prices the Very Lowest VOL, X. NO. 2. LITTLE JIM.- -The cottage was a thatched one, the outaide old and mean, Yet everything within that cot was wondrous neat and clean ; The night was dark and stormy, the wind was howling wild. patient mother watched beeido the death bed of her child. A little worn-out creature his once bright eyes grown dim ; It was a collier's wife and child, they called him "Little Jim." And, oh ! to see the briny tears, fast hurrying down her check, As she offered up a prayer in thought ; she was afraid to speak, Lest she might waken one she loved far better than her life ; For she had all a mother's heart, had that poor collier's wife. With hands nplifted, see, she kneels beside the sufferer's bed. And prays that He will spare her boy, and take herself instead, She got her answer front the boy, soft fell those words from him Mother, the angels do so smile, and beckon little Jim ; hare no pain, dear mother, now. bnt, oh ! I am so dry, Just moisten poor Jim's lips again, and, moth er, don't you cry." With gentle, trembling haste, she held a tea enp to his lips ; He smiled to thank her, as 'he took three tiny little sips. Tell father when he comes from work, I bid good-night to him. And, mother, now I'll go to sleep." Alas, poor little Jim ! She saw that he was dying, that the child she loved so dear Had ottered the last words she might ever hope to hear. The cottage door is opened, the collier's step is heard, The father and the mother meet, yet neither speak a word. He felt that all was over, he knew his child was dead ; Ee took the candle in his hand, and walked toward the bed. His quivering lip gave tokeu of the grief he'd fain conceal. And, see, his wife has joined him, the stricken couple kneel ; With hearts bowed down by sadness, thev humbly ask of Him, In Heaven once more to meet their own dear little Jim. An Earthquake or a Boy. From Onr Continent In the early part of a certain summer the selectmen of a little New England town determined to erect a high pole, on which a new flag was to be raised on the coming Fourth of July. Accordirg to the ordinance which they passed, this pole was to be set up on the highest point of land within a milo of the Town Hall, provided the owner of such land should consent. The town people were very glad to have the pole, and it was expected that the raising of the new flag, with the at tendant speeches aDd other ceremonies, would be a very interesting event, and would attract not only the town-folk ! but many persons from the surrounding country. Bnt after the matter had been talked over for a day or two, some of the more thoughtful of the inhabitants of the town began to find an objection to the ordinance. "The selectmen did not think what they were about," said Mr. Silas Markle, the schoolmaster, "when they voted to put the pole on the highest point of land within a mile of the Town Hall. I have surveyed pretty much all the ground about here and I know that Mullein Hill, on old Jimmy Hast inn's farm, is higher than any other land in the neigh' borhood. The next highest is the hill on Mr. Upton's place, bnt that is at least six feet lower than the highest part of Mullein HilL Now it is my opinion that if that pole is put up on Jimmy Haskins's property he will levy toll on everybody who goes to the celebration. We all know he don't allow people to walk over his fields, but he will jump at a chance like this to make money." "That's so," said a bystander. "I believe he got the thing passed himself, just to screw pennies out of his friends and neighbors. He knows very well that his hill is higher than any land near the town." The day after this Mr. Jimmy Has kins was in one of the stores of the place, where there were a good many people collected, when one of his neigh bors asked him a plain question. "Mr. Haskins," said he, "if the pole is set up on your landyou"U let everybody go free to the hill, won't you ?" Old Jimmy Haskins smiled and did not immediately answer, and then he said : "'When the flag-pole is set up on Mullein Hill I want everybody in this town and everyone within thirty miles around to attend the celebration, and they'll all be free to come through my big gate and to walk np to the hill, provided And I'll let you all know the provision when the time comes." And then he smiled again. "You seem to feel pretty sure, Mr. Haskins," said his neighbor, "that your hill is the highest point of land in the neighborhood." "Of course I am sure of it," said the old man. "I know just as well as I know anything that Mullein Hill is six feet higher than any other ground in these parts, and nothing can change that state of affairs except an earth quake." "Or a boy," said a youthful voice from the outside of the little group. This voice was not very loud and few persons heard it Certainly Jimmy HaskinB did not The youthful voice belonged to George Upton, a Jad be tween thirteen and fourteeen years old. George, as well as the other boys in town, was full of enthusiasiasm about the flag-pole, and he had had strong hopes that that hill on his father's farm would be found higher than Mullein Hill. But on talking the matter over with Mr. Markle he had been assured that this would not be. He had thought a great deal upon the subject, and while listen ing to Mr. Haskins' boasting talk in the store, had hit upon a plan by which he would try and change the state of affairs which the old man had said could be al tered only by an earthquake. "The pole ought to be on onr hi 1 anyway," be thought, "for it'B near the road and everybody conldcomein without walking through a long, dirty lane. Besides I'm not going to stand by and see old Jimmy Haskins taking two or three cents from every person who goes to the flag raising." It must be admitted, however, that Master George's plan was prompted a a good deal by a personal feeling. He would be very proud to have the great pole on his father's land. Mr. Silas Markle, who was the sur veyor of the town as well as the school master, had been informed by the com tuittee having the matter in charge that on the twentieth of June, which fell on a Saturday, they would employ him to ascertain the proper point of land on which to erect the flag-pole. This gave George but one week to carry out his plan, and he therefore set to work with great energy. HaviDg first obtained his father's permission, he called together a number of his boy friends and announced to them what ho in tended to do. If Mullein Hill was six feet higher than the hill on their place, he would make the latter seven or eight feet higher than it then was, and if the other fellows would help him. he "believed this could be done without the assistance of an earthquake. His plan, as explained, was wildly approved by the boys, and as this was vacation time, George and hia companions began their great work early on Monday morning, Wheelbarrows, crowbars, shovels and spades were borrowed, and Upton's Hill soon became a scene of great activity. Everything was done under George's directions and he began opera tions by wheeling all the large stones tnat could be picked up in the field to the top of the low round hill. These were spread over a space of fifteen or twenty feet in diameter, and formed the base of the mound to be built. Earth was wheeled np to fill in the spaces between the stones; sods and smaller stones and earth were piled np, layer upon layer, until, toward the end of the week, the top of the mound was about eight feet from its foundation. There were more than twenty boys engaged in the work and they labored every day with great enthusiasm. George built his mound a good dea smaller at the top than at the bottom, and as far as possible he made it con form to the general shape of the hill The outside of it was covered with sods and earth, and when finished it presented a very creditable and solid appearance. When the committee, with Mr. Mar kle, started out on the following Satur day on their tour of inspection, they were met at Mr. Haskins's gate by that gentleman himself. "You are welcome to measure Mullein Hill," he said, "but of course it is a mere matter of form. I am perfectly willing to have the pole set up on my land, but I intend to charge each person coming here a small toll to pay for the wear and tear of the ground. There is nothing in the ordinance to prevent that." When the height of Mullein Hill had been ascertained, the committee started off toward the Upton farm. 'There is no use going any further," said Blr. Haskins. "We know all about the other hills round here." "There's a point of land on Mr. Up ton's place I wish to measure," said Mr. Markle. "Stuff and nonsense," said Jimmy Haskins, but he followed the party. Nearly all the boys in town and a great many other people were assembled at Upton's Hill when the committee ar rived there, and when Mr. Jimmy Has kins saw the mound that had been raised, his surprise and rage were very great. He insisted that the height of this mound should not be measured, for it was not a natural formation. But the committee declared that the ordi nance called for the highest point of land, without reference to the manner in which it was formed. The measure ments were made and the top of the mound was found to be nearly three feet higher than the summit of Mullein HilL On the Fourth of July the flag was raised on the pole, which was firmly set in George's mound. The pole was high, the flag was a beautiful one ; everybody cheered and was happy, and no one paid a cent for the privilege of being present at the celebration. "I thought nothing bnt an earth quake could make any of these hills higher than mine, "grumbled Mr. Jimmy Haskins, " but I forgot that there were such things as boys." Fbank It. Stockton. A Brutal Sport. A sad accident attended the close of the recent carnival festivities in Borne. When the Corso was supposed to have been cleared at 5:30 the barberi, or riderless horses, goaded by spiked balls swinging on their haunches, were let loose at the Piazza del Popolo and started toward the goal in the Piazza Venezia at a furious speed. When they reached the Palazzo Piano, just below the Queen's balcony, the crowd still thronged the street and the horses plunged into it, knocking down men, women and children. The Queen fell back sickened at the sight and one of her ladies of honor fainted. Thirteen persons were found to have been seri ously injured, one of whom died im mediately, bis head having been crushed, and another the next morning. The King witnessed the scene from a neigh boring balcony, and visited the sufferers after they had been taken to the hos pitals, spending an hour with them. Roman newspapers denounce this form of sport as brutal, and call for its aboli tion. Another Swindle. It is reported that western farmers are now buying experience in the guise of patent wagon-tongue rights. Sharper No. 1 comes along, says he is doing a big business in wagon-tongue patents, but is on his way home and will Bell the right for that county for $250. The farmer declines to be taken in, and the discomfited visitor says . "All right ; but if you think better of it let me know ;" and insists on leaving address. A few days later No. 2 comes along. He has heard that the farmer has the county right for the patent, and will give $100 for it. The farmer sees an opportunity to make 8150 in a quiet way, and sell the right. No. 2 pays $10 to bind the bargain, and goes his way. The farmer seeds his note for $250 to No. 1 and the circuit is com plete. Then the farmer complains be cause he is swindled. Arabella No, powder will not make your hair bang. Boston Bulletin. MORRIS VILLE AND HYDE THE LIME-KILJf CLUB. "What I was gwine to remark," said Brother Gardner, as the back end of Paradise Hall grew quiet, "was to say to you dat de pusson who expects to in joy dis life mus mase up his mind to strike de world on de gineral average, He who neglects to do so will meet wid daily sorrows and disapintments. Doan expect dat de man who happens to agree wid you on de weather am sartin to agree wid you on politicks. It doan foller dat de man who agrees wid you on politicks will feel bound to accept your kind of religion. De fack dat you lend a naybur your shovel doan bind him to lend you his wheelbarrer. He who looks for honesty whar he finds gray ha'rs, will be as sadly disapinted as he who argues dat an old coat am de sign of a thief or a beggar. Put faith in human hatur", an' yet bo ebor ready to doubt. i expect to meet about so many mean men in de course of a y'ar, "I expect de summer will be hot an' de winter cold. I expect to have chilblains in December an' shakes of de ager April. in "1 expect dat a sartin per cent of dis world's populashun will lie to me. steal my cabbages, frow stones at my dog an' hit me wid a brickbat as I go home from de lodge. "On de odder hand, when I come to strike de average, I kin put my hand on men who will lend me money, go on my bond, speak well of me an' sot up all night to protec me. "No man am perfeck. He may strike you at fust sight as werry good or werry bad, but doan decide until you average him. He may beat a street kyar com pany an' yit be honest wid a butcher. He may crawl under de canvass to see a circus, an' yit pay his pew rent in ad vance. He may lie to you as to how he woted, an' yit tell de truf about a spav ined boss. He may cuss on de street, an yit be a tender father at home. He may incourage a dog fight, an' yit walk a mile to restore a los' chile to its par ents. Accept no man fur his fine talk re ject no man fur his old clothes ; stand him out in do sunlight an' average him Xou will be sartin to fin' eunthin bad about him, but you will also be sartin to fin sunthin' cood." "Am Construction White in de hall dis evemn ? softly inquired the Presi dent as the hush came. "Yes, sah," answered a voice from the back end of the room, and Brother White made his way to the platform with a look of puzzled wonder on his face. "Construction White," continued the President, after drawing a long breath, X nnderstan dat you have become a champion." "I I I dunno, sah," stammered the brother. "1 nnderstan' dat you claim to be able to lift mo' wid your teef dan any odder man in America. One of de local papers says dat you kin lift 280 pounds wid you jaws, and dat yon kin sustain your own weight sebeu mm its by cotch in' a strap in your mouf." " I I 'spects dat's so, sah." "Brudder White, dis club doan' go a cent on champions. Champion rowers am simply crooks. Champion wrestlers am only loafers wid clean shirts on. De champion runner am, sooner or later, an inmate of de workhouse. De champion walker walks away from his bo'd bilL Show me a so-called champion and I'll show you a bad citizen. Brudder White, you am a man wid an iron jaw ?" " Yes, sah." " Use dat jaw properly an' men will bress you. You have a wide field befo' you. Ycu kin help to tear down houses wid dat jaw. You kin tow schooners up an' down de ribber wid profit to yerself an' pleasure to commerce. You kin help de firemen you kin aid de police you need have no fear of bitin' off mo' dan you kin chaw. Do dis quietly an' mod estly, an' widout any blowin' of ho'ns. Bite honestly when you strike a rail road spike, an' chaw on de squar' when you git hold of a piece of sheet-iron. Do dis an' we shall be glad dat you are among us. Start out as a champion, an' off goes your name from our books. You kin now return to your seat an analyze yer thoughts, an' decide what course you will adopt." Detroit Free Press. Dishonest Officials. Last year Angora, in Asia Minor, was devastated by locusts, and, in order to avert a repetition of the calamity, the Governor decreed that every able-bodied peasant should, during a certain period preceding the locust-hatching season, collect locust eggs at the rate of two pounds' weight per diem, and deliver them in person to the nearest local authorities. The minimum quantity of ova to be gathered in this manner was fixed at 1,400,000 pounds' weight, and it was prescribed that a daily fine of two piastres should be levied upon each peasant who should fail to fulfill the duty thus imposed upon him. The practical results were as follows: Dur ing the first day or two of the period appointed for the collection of the ova a few rustics brought in their quota oi eggs; but the large majority of the peasantry, far too indolent to take the trouble of digging them up, com pounded with the powers that be by privily purchasing the necessary quantity of eggs from the officials at one piastre per kilogram, and then making public delivery of that quantity to the employees empowered to receive it. Thus the 200 or 300 kilos of eggs really collected and delivered by law abiding peasants were sold over and over again to the shirkers. These tricksters saved half the amount of their fines, the officials pocketed a piastro by each transaction, aud the crop of locusts for the oommg season will in all probability, turn out even finer than that which all but ruined Angora last year. Together they were looking over the paper. "Oh, my, how fnuny," she said. "What is it ?" ho atkod. "Why, here's an advertisement that says : 'No reasonable offer refused.' " "What's so odd about that?" "Nothing, nothing," she replied, trying to blush ; "only those are exactly my sentiments." If that young man hadn't taken the bint and proposed right then and there, she would have hated him. PARK, VERMONT, Oleomargarine and Butter. THE MANUFACTUBFD ARTICLE DRIVING THE DAIBY PBODUOr FROM the ex POBT TBADE. Among the amendments to the Agri cultural Appropriation bill adopted in the U. S. House of Representatives was one offered by Mr. Piirker of New York, providing for the collection of statistics of the production, home consumption, and exportation of oleomargine, butterine, and imita 5ion butter. Mr. Parker showed, by stitempnts procured from the Bureau of Statistics and Census Bureau, that during the six years end ing June dO, 1881, tie value of oleo margarine exported rose from $70,483 in 1876 to $381,556 in 1881. In 1878 the quantity exporte-l-as only 1,698,401 pounds, but in ifr'-ar e nding June 30, ISSt, was l&j'QM'ails. t In the' year ending Deo. 31, 1881, the quantity of butter exported was only 21,331,358 pounds, while on the preced ing year it was more than 37,000,000 pounds. The value of the butter ex ported was $3,250,000 less in 1881 than in 1880. On the other hand, the sta tistics show that the amount and value of oheese exported were greater in 1881 than in 1880. The inference is, of course, that the amount of butter ex ported has greatly decreased because of the remarkable growth of the oleomar garine industry and the rapidly increas ing amount of oleomargarine exported. The Census Bureau furnished a state- ment showing that in the cities of New York, Philadelphia, Brooklyn, Chicago, Boston, Baltimore, Cincinnati and Louisville there are 'twelve faotories. employing nearly 700 hands paying $187,658 in wages, and using $4,740,941 worth of material. The oapital of these factories was $1,600, 0C0, and the value of the annual product 85.036.753. Four-fifths of the material product of these cities are credited to New York City. Mr. Parker asserts that at home every consumer is liable to become the daily victim of those who arei adulterating the people's food by an imitation so artfully made as to defy detection by any ex cept experts, and that our market abroad for the genuine proflnct is greatly harmed by the belief that we are palm ing off on consumers as a dairy produot a base imitation. What the Sunreyjr Missed. The Detroit Free Press says: A sur veyor who was running township lines in a new county in this State last fall was engaged by a farmer to survey the line between his farai and that of a neighbor. They had a line fence, but had engaged in several dispntes as to whether it was on the divide. The sur veyor was making preparations when the owner of the other farm approached and inquired: . "What are you going to do now?" "Find the exact line," was the reply. At this the man wheeled and went off on the gallop, and he wis seen no more until the line had been run. The sur veyor and the first-nemed farmer had jubt completed the work when the other came up to within about ten feet cf them and at-keel: "Well, have you got through?" "Yes ; all through." "And is the fence a foot on his farm?" "No; he has two feet of yours, and the fence must be moved so that you can have it." The man sprang upon a stump, faced a thicket about hve rods away, and yelled out : "You there Reuben and James and Samuel I The survey is made and we are all right ! You kin shoulder them shotguns and go back to the sawmill, and if you meet the old woman comiDg with the pitchfork, you kin tell her to turn back and get up ' a squar' dinner for the surveyor !" 1 To Cleanse a Soiled Chamois Leather. Many workshops contain a dirty wash leather, which is thrown aside and wasted for the want of knowing how to clean it. Make a solution of weak soda and warm water, rub plenty of soft soap into the leather and allow it to remain ia soak for two hours, then rub it well until it ia unite clean. After ward rinse it well in n weak solution composed of warm water, soda and yel low soap. It must not be rinsed in water only, for then it would be so hard when dry as to be unfit for use. It is the small quantity of soap left in the leather that allows the liner particles of the It-other to separate and become soft like silk. After rinsing, wring it well in a rough towel and diy quickly, then pull it about and brash it well, and it will become softer and better than most new leathers.. In wring a rough leather to touch" ufSJfeiished sur faces it is frequently observed to scratch the work ; this is caused by particles of dust, and even hard rouge, that are left in the leather, and if removed by a clean rougy brush it will then give the bright est aud best 'inisb, which all good workmen like to see on their work. Under the Sea. What most astonishes those who visit the boring for the British Channel Tunnel is, first, the complete dryness of the rock, and, secoudly, the marvelous ventilation of the lo:ag and narrow tunnel (it is only seven feet in diameter), which extends now 1,100 yards under the sea, and which, it ii promised, will by Easter be fully a milo long. The air at the head of the boring is far purer and pleasanter to breathe than the air of any London street, aad the reason is obvious. It is, in f aot, the very healthiest Seabreeze, caught just below Shakes peare's Cliff, and, after compression, conducted thence in a five-inch iron pipe to the boring machine 1,100 yards off; there the air escapes in the most inoffensive and even agreeable manner. A young friend of mine, says Labou chere in the London Truth, was dining with his father a few nights ago. " George," said the fond parent, when they next met, " you took my cverooat instead of your own, and I regret to say I found the pockets of your coat full of cigarettes and matches." "I discovered my mistake, father," replied the son, "directly I got outside,, for I found the Dockets of the coat 1 had on contained chocolate creams and three pairs ladies' gloves," of THURSDAY, MARCH 30, 1882. The Terrible Floods. Little Rock, Ark., says a letter from that point, is thronged with refugees from Desha and Chicot Counties, nearly all of whom have interesting accounts to give in connection with their pilgrim age. One of these, named John McEl yen, said : "I live near what is known as Cypress Bend, in Desha County. I had a cabin situated on an elevation which had never been overflowed, and I thonsrht never would be. Some days ago the Mississippi began to rise, and I stopped my children from going to school, fear ful that they woald be drowned in the bayous with which that county abounds, I had several head of cattle further down the river and I brought them home. My wife got very uneasy, and suggested tnat wo had better go to Arkansas City or to Little Rock, as she felt in her bones that there would be a big flood. I laughed at her fears, but it was not long before I felt that I had better have followed her advice, for in a snort time the rising water cut off com munication in every direction. One night, over a week ago, we went to bed oppressed with dread, though I still thought the water would fall. I had secured a dugout and intended to make an effort to reach Arkansas City with my family unless there was a change by the next morning. It began raining early m the evening, and by the time night set in the rain was coming down in torrents. I think it was abont ten o'clock when my wife cried out, 'Jack, J. I- 1 . me nouse is giving way r and, sure enough, it was. The cabin slowly went to pieces, the water pouring in at every crevioe, while my wife and children shrieked and cried. Looking out you could see nothing bnt a wide expanse of water, and I knew that we would all be engulfed in a short time, and so I took the bed cord of an old-fashioned bed stead and tied some of the logs which had fallen in from one end of the cabin together, and on this raft I placed my family, taking only a few quilts, and leaving everything else. With a fence rail which had been intended for fire wood I pushed out through the opening in the house, and the next moment we floated away. I have been in a good many perilous escapes, but that night's adventures surpass them all. How we escaped, how we got entangled in tree tops, how we were picked up late the next day not far from Arkansas City I can hardly tell. It is enough to know that we all were saved; but I lost every thing oattle, horses and farming tools.' Fancies About a Millionaire's Money. A correspondent sends the following calculations with regard to the reputed Wealth of William II. Viinderlilt: Esti mating it at, O0, 000,000, to oonnt it, at the rate of $2 each second and ten hours a day, it would take 11 years, 151 days, 5 hours and 40 minutes. In gold it would weigh 781 tons aud 500 pounds, requiring a train of 79 cars of 10 tons capacity to move it ; in silver, 10,714 tons and 571 pounds, requiring 1,072 cars for its transportation. In $1 bills, lying lengthwise in a continuous line, it would reach 34,919 miles, 162 rods, and 7 feet, or entirely around the globe and along its diameter with 1,919 miles, 162 rods and 7 feet to spare, or more than one-seventh of the dialauce from our planet to the moon. If laid " width- wise," these $1 bills would reach 14,6UU miles, 151 rods, and 8 feet, or from JNew York City to more than 30 miles beyond Cheyenne, added to half the circumfer ence of the globe. In $1 bills it would spread a carpet 103 feet and 3 inches wide and 80 miles loDg ; a carriage drive 4 feet and 11 inches wide and over 1,806 miles long ; or a comfortable promenade 2 feet and 5 inches in width, and more than 3,612 miles in length. In $20 gold pieces, lying side by side, it would con struct a sidewalk 43 inches wide, but a few rods short of 10 miles long; in silver dollars, lying contiguous, a boulevard 100 feet wide and 8 miles in length. A Heathen Fuueral. From recent reports of funerals of Chinamen who have died in the United States it appears that the heathen Celes tial escapes some unnecessary nuisances and sufferings to which the Caucasian subjects himself on mortuary occasions. To begin with, the funeral cortege is preceded by a brass band that plays merry music significant of the late la mented's joy at leaving this wicked world for a better one. This view of death is never expressed when an Amer ican dies, for the mourners think only about themselves. Following the music are friends carrying baskets full of care fully written directions for reaching the better' land. At the grave mo6t of the deceased's personal effects are burned, ostensibly that they may assume a spiritual form and accompany him to Paradise, b.ut really, we suspect, to pre vent the unseemly squabbling that usually occurs over the personal prop erty of dead men. No floral pillows are provided, so nothing is done to dishgure cemeteries. Lastly, in the dead man's hand is placed a passport, fully entitling him, by virtue of an exemplary life here lielow, to unlimited ramblings in a world where there is no trouble. Set Back Ten Years. Gen. D. McRae, Assistant Secretary of the State of Illinois, says that the terrible floods have set Arkansas baok ten years. It would be impossible, he thought, to raise crops on the over flowed lands this year other than cotton, and that could not be done unless the waters subsided shortly and allowed the ground to dry out somewhat for spring planting. .Experience demonstrates that corn will not grow on land immedi ately after an overflow, and thus thou sands of acres will be worthless un less the water recedes and gives plant ers an opportunity to plant the lands in cotton. General McRae also said that the effeot of the overflow would be to drive hundreds of people from the State ; that colored people in the over flowed districts were already beginning to migrate to Tennessee and Missouri in large numbers, and that others would follow whenever they could get a boat to carry them over. A stibbino dwarf we do allowance give before a sleeping giant. A YICTIJ1 OF CHARITY. The Bashful young Fair. Man at the It was at a charity fair, and he had come there at the special request of his "cousin," who was at the head of the flower table. He opened the door bash fully, and stood, hat in hand, looking at the brilliant scene before him, when a young lady rushed up, and, grabbing him by the arm, said: "Oh ! you must ! yon will take cnance in our case, (jome right over here. This way. Blushing to the roots of his hair, he stammered oxt that he "really didn't have the pleasure of knowing " '.'Oh, that's all right," said the young lady. "You'll know me better before you leave. I'm one of the managers, you understand. Come, the cake wiil all be taken if you don't hurry." And she almost dragged him over to one of the middle tables. "There, now only fifty cents a slice, and you may get a real gold ring. You had better take three or four slices, it will increase your chances, you know. "You're very good," he stammered, But I'm not fond of cake that is, I haven't any nse for the ring I " Ah, that will be so nice," said the young lady, "for now if you get the ring you can give it back, and we'll put it in another cake. Y-e-e-s," said the young man with a sickly smile. "To be sure, but -" Oh, there isn't any but about it," said the young lady, smiling sweetly. "Xou know you promised 1 "Promised ?" "Well, no, not exactly that; but you will take just one slice !" and she looked her whole soul into his eyes. "Well, I suppose" "To be sure. There is your cake," and she slipped a great slice into his delicately-gloved hands, as he handed her a $1 bill. "Oh, that is too nice," added the young lady, as she plastered another piece of cake on top of the one she had just given him. "I knew you would take at least two chances," and his $1 bill disappeared across the table, and then she called to a companion: 'Oh, Miss Larkins, here is a gentleman who wishes to have his fortune told." "Oh, does he ? Send him right over," answered Miss Larkins. I beg your pardon, but I'm afraid you're mistaken. I don't remember saying anything about " "Oh, but you will," said the first young lady, tugging at the youth's arm. It s for the good of the cause, and you won't refuse," and once more the beau tiful eyes looked soulfullv into his. 'Here we are. Now take an envelope; open it. There 1 you aro going to be married in a year. Isn't that jolly? fcieventy-fWei ooutu, pleaBQ." This time the youi was careful to hand out the exact change. " Oh, I should just like to have my fortune told. May I?" said the first young lady. Of course, you may, my dear," said Miss Larkins, handing out one of her envelopes. "Oh, dear, you are going to be married thLa year, too. "Seventy five cents more, please," and the poor youth came down with another dollar note. "No change here, you know," added Miss Larkins, putting the green back in her pocket. "Oh, come, let's try our weight,' said the first young lady, once more tugging at the bashful youth's coat sleeve, and before he knew where he was he found himself standing on the platform of the scales. " One hundred and thirty-two," said the young lady. Oh, how I would like to be a great heavy man, like you," and she jumped on the scales like a bird. " One hun dred and eighteen. Well, that is light. One dollar, please." " What," said the youth, " one dollar ? Isn't that pretty steep ? I mean, I " ' O, but you know," said the young lady, "It is for charity," and another dollar was added to tha treasury of the fair. 1 think I'll have to go. I have an engagement at " " Oh, but first yon must buy me a bouquet for taking you all around,' said the young lady. "Right over here," and they were soon in front of the flower-table. "Hare is just what I want," and the young lady picked up a basket of roses and violets. "Seven dollars, please." " Oh, Jack, is that you ?" cried the poor youth's "cousin " from behind the flower-counter, " and buying flowers for Miss Giggle, too. Oh, I shall be terribly jealous unless you buy me a basket too," and she picked up an elaborate affair. "Twelve dollars, please, Jack," and the youth put down the money, looking terribly confused and much as though be didn't know whether to make a bolt for the door or give up all. hope and settle down in despair. "You'll excuse me, ladies," he stammered, "but I must go; I have " "Here, let me pin this in your button hole," interrupted his "cousin." " Fifty cents, please," and then the youth broke away and made a straight line for the door. " Well, if I ever visit another fair, may I be be swindled !" he ejaculated, as he counted over his cash to see if he had the car fare to ride home. Getting Away Fbom Sibebia. An ex-Professor of mathematics in a Russian university, who escaped from Siberia a few months since, says that to an exile in Siberia, under certain circumstances, escape offers no great difficulty. It is more an affair of money than anything else, the distances being so great and the population so sparse that very close police surveillance is impossible; but escape from penal servitude is a terrible undertaking, and is very rarely ao complished. Sophia Bernia, who re cently found her way into Switzerland, is the only woman that has yet per formed the feat. There is nothing in this wide world that makes a young man crazier than, after arriving at a party with a young lady, whom he has got there at consid erable expense, to have Borne old bald headed individual get her off into a cor ner and talk to her all the evening on the peculiarities of the Gulf Stream. Puck, TERMS SI. 50. A Farm-Yard Fable. One day the poultry belonging to a larm-yara were idling about, with noth ing particular to do, and evidently just in the burner to observe and comment upon each other's movements. On the other side of a wire fence lay a luscious looking snau, which presently caught me eye or one of the ducks. Not a quack did she utter to announce her intentions, but waddled silently up to me fence. The other birds watched her with lazy curiosity, and the turkey gave a sudden gobble, which probably meant, " What on earth takes her there? I'd lay my wattle she can't get through those wires ; they re much too close together ; there can't possibly be rooin for her between." She popped herihead through, and made one effort to fjrce her body after it ; but it was no use, and the attempt was clearly hope less. What will she do ? Will she let herdiscomforture become apparent, and submit to be jeered at for having tried an impossibility ? Not she ! Promptly recognizing her failure, and drawing her head back, she whisked herself round immediately, and looked about her with perfect aplomb and a gentle chuckle of satisfaction and self-complacent waggle of the tail, which were inimitable, and could hardly fail to impress the specta tors with the belief that her object was fully accomplished, and that she had never intended to do more than to poke her head through the wires just to taste the grass beyond. An observer, who had perceived the snail, had bis doubts about the matter ; but we quite believe that she succeeded in imposing nnon CJ A her equals, and was regarded by them with undiminished respect, as a prudent and judgmatical duck, who knew better than to undertake any impractical en terprise. As we reflected upon the little inci dent, we wondered whether the lower animals may not have discovered the great truth that whoever is known to have suffered failure is apt, on that ac count, to stand less well in the opinion of his fellows. And it seems to us that here and there in the world noisy boast ers are to be met with who might profit by the example of the duck, and learn that whoever aspires to be hitrhlv con sidered among men must beware of an nouncing beforehand all the great things he hopes to accomplish : and in case of rebuff, must be careful to pre serve so unruffled a serenity that no one may be able to discover that he has any cause for mortification London Spec tator. Action of Ice Upon Rocks. In a recent number of Naturen, Mr. Bergh has drawn attention to the severing rocks, of which he gives a triking instance occurring on the Aale- Blind iu West Norway v,V,T . ledge rising out of the fjord is all that remains ox a ouoe extensive rjieia iru- montory, which in the year 1717 waa suddenly blown up and precipitated in to the water by the force of the ice within the interstices of the stone. The winter had been mild, aad during a rapid thaw a considerable stream had swelled up from the ice-covered summit of the fjaeld, and carried its waters into every orevice of the rock, when a sudden change of wind brought about a sharp frost, which turned the descending waters of the newly formed stream into ice, arresting tneir course witnin tne interstices of the rock. The result was the explosion of the entire mass of the fjfeld below the outbreak of the stream, and its projection from a height of more than 1,500 feet into the neighbor ing fjord, which engulfed the whola of the promontory, with its cultivated fields and farmstead. Simultaneously with the disappear ance of the land below the surfaoe of the fjord, a huge mass of waters was propelled against the opposite shore, carrying with it rusty anchors, boat rafters, and numerous other objects whioh had long lain at the bottom. The disturbance extended a mile beyond the point at whioh the land was submerged, and the waters in retreating carried with them a wooden churoh which had stood fifty feet above the fjord, besides sweep ing away all the fishing boats for a dis tance of two and a half miles. Before this occurrence, which was attended by loss of life to about a soore of persons, the headland had been much resorted to on account of the halibut, which abounded in the neighborhood, but since that period the fish has never re turned, a circumstance which, acoord ng to local popuUr belief, is due to the covering up by the infallen rock of cer tain submarine cavities and springs fre quented by the fish. The Bankruptcy Bill. The Bankruptcy bill, reported by the Senate Judiciary Committee, will doubt less give rise to muoh discussion in mercantile circles. The bill fixes the amount of indebtedness necessary to filing a petition by the debtor at five hundred dollars, and under certain specified circumstances allows the ma jority in amount and numbers of credi tors to throw a debtor into bankruptcy. It does not recognize registers or as signees, but provides for the appoint ment of ft receiver to take charge of the bankrupt's property and wind up his affairs. The bill is very favorable to the debtor, and appears to have been drawn more in his interest than that of the creditors. By establishing a fee system, although the Supreme Court is authorized to fix the fees, it is a ques tion whether it does not open the door to one of the gravest abuses that flour ished under the old law. A serious de fect in it, as it seems to us, is the face that it does not reach property exempt under State laws. This puts it in the power of any State virtually to annul the law by excessive exemptions. In some of the States property to an im mense extent may now be exempted, and there appears to be no limit to which a State may go in this respect. It is also a question how effectively the bill may prevent the preferences under State laws which often work so much injus tice in the absence of a satisfactory national law of bankruptcy. In such a law uniformity is one of the highest considerations. But it can hardly be said that the bill reported secures this end. To make a good bankrupt law is one of the most difficult achievements of statesmannhip. The Senate commit tee has apparently thought leave this task to the courts. Herald. it beat to New York AT THE 1 QTHING STORE ! r produce BublimerJia I best Count that day lost in have not had a good laugh. . Chamfnrt "I occasionally drop into poetry, as the man said when he fell into tha editorial waste basket. By contracting a disease you help to spread it. Queer, isn't HI New Haven Palladium. Ninb per cent of Yale graduates be come clergymen. Probably this la caused by remorse for tha crimes they committed when they were on the foot ball team. Columbia Spectator. Db. Holland once said that "the greatest blessing that a young man can enjoy is poverty." Still, it is one of those blessings that "brighten as they take theif flight." Lowell Citizen. It is the little things that fret and worry us. A three-year-old boy may keep a man ia perfect misery, whereaa no such trials would accompany the presence of his eighteen-year-old sister. Philadelphia News. The office of Postmaster at Norwalk Depot, O., pays a salary of $4 per year, and yet no one will have it There ia once in awhile an office that an Ameri can won't touch for either dignity or money. Detroit Free Press. Louisville talks of establishing an art gallery, where citizens may pass the time between drinks. Chicago News. Chicago would have one, too, but she has no time between drinks. Ixuis ville Courier-Journal. A Philadelphia editor bears the name of Comet He 6hould have no difficulty in providing a tale for his pa per, but it is hoped he will not get out of his orbit, and pitch into the Sun or the World. Norristoivn flerald. KPITAFH 0!f A CAT. "Here lies a mewer Immured, Fells In felicity. Her molars immolated many a mole, A micer, my sir, was slie." ' Buffalo Expreu. Mb. Tisklepocgh has just returned from Washington, and told his wife that he was permitted to sit on the floor of the House. "Well. I declare." said Mrs. "them Congressmen never had any manners. Couldn t thev give ye a chair, 'd like to know." " Pbevious good character," counts in Texas. A man who was on trial for arson brought forward witnesses to prove that he had neglected two good c'lances to steal horses, and the jury de cided that no such man could be guilty of burning a barn. Fbiend of the family to the boy twins : " I'm afraid you little fellowa don't always agree. You fight each other sometimes, don't you ?" Twins: 'Yeth, thir, thumtimth." F. of tha F. : "Ah. I thouchtso. Well, who whips ?" Twins : " Mamma whips !" The Christian Advocate, mentioning the case of a girl who said she joined the Methodist Church "on suspicion " for six months, says : "We don't know about the propriety of taking people into tha church on suspicion, but we think a considerable number might be let out on that ground." Bkattng the devil round the stump : Was there ever a better example of the m t- iV,-. I ... . , ... . . ",B "UBWl:l 1,1 lue 8" mail ui mo Sierras, who, when asked about the o).raaf.r rtl nsiVt, l.rr. - A.... i-,.-n nl r&pliecl r JV!wter, X cloti'fc Jc now zuuoii abont bias, but my. impression ia that he'd make a first-class strangor." "Chem," the caraca(urist, entertained views on vivisection whioh would have delighted Mr. Bergb. "I do not op pose vivisection," would he say; "on the contrary, I fully recognize its util ity; but as our organs differ materially from those of dogs, why experiment on the inferior animals? Come, gentle- en, be logical, vivisect one another I" Claba Lousia Kellogg says she can make good hash, and Annie Louise Gary announces that she can make de licious bnckwbent cakes. This is all well enough as far as it goes ; but can either one of the sweet singers sew on a suspender button to stay two days in one inning, and make a fire without getting soot on hor nose 1Norristown Herald. PBESENca of mind : A few Sundays ago a Western church was discovered to bo on fire, but the preacher, with great presence of mind, said nothing about it He merely remarked: " This build ing is heavily burdened with debt, and I wish some one would lock the doors until the amount is raised." Every one volunteered to do the locking, and as everybody forgot to come back there was no panic and no one was hurt Detroit Free Press. It is related that when the Massachu setts Legislative Committee on Charities visiied the Taunton Insane Asylum, ene of the patients exhibited an automatio toy of his invention, in whioh a pros trate wooden man was receiving severe kicking and thumping by others. "Don't you think it rather severe on that poor fellow to be mauled and kicked in that way ? ' asked a legis lator. "Oh, no," was the reply; " you can't hurt him he is insane." W. E., Rockdale, Texas: "What au thority has the Lpgislature of Arkansas for deciding the difference of pronunci ation in the name of that State, Arkan- . A T - - t 'I saw or Aiaansas r i saw i - sas, why not say Kansaw for Kansas, Texaw for Texas ?" As the people oi New York are called New Yorkers, and the inhabitants of Michigan are called Michiganders, possibly the Arkansas legislators were afraid they mishtbo called Arkacsasses, and so changed the : pronunciation of the name of the State to Arkansaw.-Thra Sifting. Town and city authorities will be in terested in the following answer of a tramp to a question as to how he man aged to beat his way on railroads. He says: "No, sir, I never try to beat rides on railway trains. When I want to get a ticket to a town, I go to the au thorities of the place where I am stay iug and say : See here, I'm a pauper. I belong to such a town. I think I am going to have the small-pox and I waut to go home.' They aro so anxious to get me out of town they shell out tha ticket quicker than a cat can dodge." Thomas and James bad new suits of clothing at tho same time. Thomas kept his iu tho wardrobe nice and clean, but James put his right on and wore it every day ; so it became shabby after a time. Thomas's suit, on the contrary, was as good as ever when James's was worn out. When the boys' father saw the condition of his sous' clothing, he .i.ioM.wnv rmrchased a new and nobby suit for James ; but s Thomas's was as good as ever, Thomai got iio new clothes. Both boys now have suits equally good, but tho cut f Thomas's is somewhat archaic. James says Thomas is an awful guy, Boston Transcript.