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IT IS A FACT
THAT W, E. CLEMENT K OFFEKIXO FOU SALE, AT PRICES AS LOW A3 GOOD WORK CAN BE' AFFORDED. A LAEGE VABIETT OF FIRST-CLASS FCMITURE AND CITIZEN CHAMBER SETS, 8M WcM Sit Clairs Bedsteads, Mattresses, Lounges, PAOLO ttc.j FOBfflTOSE MORRISVILLE AND HYDE PARK, VERMONT, THURSDAY, APRIL 6, 1882. VOL, X. NO. 3. TERMS $1.50. THE FARM EE. A llics Assortment cf Camp Ciiairs The txst placo to bay CAEPETS, A ha has ever Twenty-five Different Styles to elect from, at Doston fnces. Paints, Oils, Varnisiies, In Laqje Stock and Best Material. AGENTS FCS THE AYERILL AND AS BESTOS PREPARED PAINTS. A.1 kind! of FAINTING done at reasonable rate, and by the best of help. SEWING lAGHiE For Snl nnd to Rent. ftj- Call ard examine (roods and prices be lore pnrcoaBiDS eisewuere. W. E. CLEMENT, MORRISVILLE, VT. WE H, BLAKE, 2d. Wholesale and S ;ta".l Te Jer iu UnilJin- and .helf HARDWARE From the Xew York Ledger, The king may rnle o'er land and sea, The lord may live xht royally. The eoldisr lide iu pomp and pride, The sailor roam o'er ocean wide, Bat this, or that, whate'er befall, The Farmer he must fatd them all. The writer thinks, the poet sings. The craftsmen fashion wondrous things, The doctor heals, the lawyer pleads. The miner follows the precious leads, But this, t r that, whate'er befall, The Farmer he mint feed them all. The merchant he may bay and sell, The teacher do his duty well, But men may toil through bn-y day", Or men may stroll through pleasant ways, From king to beggar whate'er Ik full. The Farmer he must feed them all. The farmer's tradn i one of wcri'i lie a partuer with the sky aud eaitu,' He's partner with the sua and rulu. And no man loses for his gain, And m n may rise, or men may fail, But the Farmer he mutt feed them all, The farmer dares his mind to speak, He had no gift or place to seek, To no man living need he bow ; The man that walks behind the plow Is his own master, whate'er befall, And king or beggar he feeds us alL God bless the man who sows the wheat, Who finds us milk, and fruit, and meat ; May his purse be heavy, his heart be light, His cattle and corn, and all, go right. God bless the seeds his lands let fall. For the Farmer he must feed us all. Lilub E. Babr. Little Carrotson's Holiday. Tron, jSails. Grlass, PAINTS. OILS, VARNISHES BRUSHES, Brooms, Wooden Ware, Tin Ware, TABLE AND POCSET Cffliis HM oM EMail? SUPPLIE Of Every . I;;vOi'iij tioi;. SARVIN PATENT AY JI EELS. ORIGINAL Concord Axles. HAZARD'S POWDER. KO. 1 BLAKE 8 WANTON, VT. BLOCK, JOB priimti: Done at this Office JTOTE HEAPS, LEITHh HEADS, STATEMENTS, SHIPPING TAGS, ETC., ETC. Prices the Very Lowest. Mr. Cntbill was a busy la-fryer, bachelor and not very fond of children, so that his married sister, 'who lived in the country, made a mistake when she wrote to beg that he would provide a day and an evening's amusement for little Carrotson, who was returning to Westminister School after his Christmas holidays. The boy was due at his tutor's hous3 in Dean's Yard on a Wed nesday; but Mr. Cutbill's sister sug gested that if he came up to London on the Tuesday her brother might make him spend an agreeable day and talfe him to see a panioniiine afterward. Little Carrotson was not related in any way to Mr. Cutbill's sister, but he was the son of a friend of her?, and was said to be an intelligent boy, well worth knowing. Mr. Cutbill consented to entertain the youth, and little Carrotson accord ingly arrived at the lawyer's private residence in Go wer street one January morning, toward nail-pastmne. J.twas raining hard, and Mr. cutwji tnougut it would never do to "take the boy cut of doors in such weather. He would be gettirjg wet feet, catch cold, and bo forth ; besides, the- lawyer was abso lutely obliged to go to his office for two or three hours ; so, as boon as Car rotson had been installed opposite a cop of coffee and a sausage, Mr. Cutbill said to him, in a tone that meant to be paternal: "Look here, Jame3 ; can l trust you to be a good boy while I am out ? I shall be back for luncheon, and then I'll take you to see the wax-works, and in the evening we'll go to Drury Lane. So, as you're going to have two treats to-day, I hope you' 11 keep out of mis chief." 'Oh, certainly, if you wish it," said little Carrotson, eying the lawyer with some surprise. "If tou'U mind not to leave thi3 room, and not tp play with the fire, I'll see if I have any picture books." n "Don't trouble yourself, sir," an swered the boy, on whose chubby face there was a slight flush of offended dig nity. "There's a friend of mine who lives in the neighborhood, and I thought of going to hunt him up." "A friend ? Is he a boy, like your eelf?" - ; "Well, he's fourteen." It was so long since Mr. Cutbill had been a boy that he had forgotten all the habits of the species and ike manner of addressing them. In the red-headed, blue-eyed, merry faced lad before him he saw only a mere child who wanted to go and splash about in the rain, per haps to make mud pies and to be xun over by cabs. "No, I must positively forbid that," he said. "You are under my charge to day, and must do as I tell you. Think what your mamma would say if you were brought home on a stretcher." Then, suddenly, a happy thought oc curred to Mr. Cutbill. Why should he not set the boy to do a little useful work by way of making the time pass ? He had read somewhere that boys enjoy a half-holiday better thau a whole one ; eo he darted out of the room and re turned with his washing-book. "Look here, James ; I'll see how you can do sums. Just go through this book, add up all the weekly accounts of the past quarter, and thon divide the total cf the number of weeks so as to get at the average of my weekly expenditure. If you do all that correctly by the time I return, and without making any blots, I'll give you half a crown to spend at school." Having said this, Mr. Cutbill retired, thinking he had hit upon an ingenious device for keeping his charge out of mischief. Little Carrotaon's face was a picture. Public school boys have strong ex pressions for describing such men as Mr. Cutbill ; they call them " howling snobs." The egregious " cheek" of forbidding Carrotson " to play with the fire," end the utter, villainy of compelling him to do sums in a house where he had come as a guest in holiday tlm?, could only be matched by the impudent offer of half a crown to one who had no less than four sovereigns in his pocket. The whole thing was indeed bo " rich," that after a brief spell of speechless indignation, Carrotson laughed. He took np the lawyer's "beastly" washing book, and got through the work set bim in half an hour, after which he added soma sup plementary averages of his own. He computed how many shirts Mr. Cutbill would wear in the course of a lifetime, snppoeing he lived to the age of seventy, and how mach he would disburse in getting his socks washed during the same period, and so forth, but these calculations only amused him for an other half hour. Thon he yawned, Biarea out 01 tne window, ana was startled by the postman's double knock, What devil of vindictive mischief was it that made him whisper then : "By Jove, I'll juBt answer the old cad's letter for him 1" Jjiuie tjarrotaon smns into the pas sage and found four letters in the box. He left one, in case a servant should come np and collect the delivery ; but the other three he carried into the din ing-room where he had been working, Tho breakfast things had not yet been removed, and there was some water in the slop-basin, by means of which the boy speedily nngnmmed the three en velopes. To say that he felt the slight est compunction at what he was doing would be incorrect ; he thought only of having a lark, and paying out old Cut bill for hia snobbery. Tne ii'st Uttor was a-printed invita tion to dine with a Peer ; the second was a note from a lady who signed her self "Flora Higgins," and wrote thank ing Mr. Cutbill for a legal opinion he had given her in a friendly way. She alluded Eeveral times to her daughter Ross, who was so pleased to hear Mr. Cutbill's cold was better, and hoped so muoh Mr. Cutbill would look in soon to take a cup of tea, and hear her sing one of his favorite songs which she had been practicing. The third letter was in a man's hand, and referred evidently to some differences that had arisen be tween Mr. Cutbill and the writer. The Iatt er one Brown wrote, however, to say that he trusted Mr. Cutbill would frankly accept the explanation he had tendered, and that the painful misun aerstanaing between them would now cease. It has been said that young Carrotson was an intelligent boy. He proved it by the calm deliberation with which he now went to work; for, having found a sample of Mr. Cutbill's handwriting ia the adjoining study, to which he re paired on tip-toe, he applied himself during half an hour to imitating that writing till he attained proficiency. He then indited the three following answers to the lawyer's correspondents, his face being as serious as a judge's whilst he wrote, though there was a suspicious twinkling in his eyes. To the Peer he addressed himself thus : " My Lokd It is very kind of yoa to invite me to dinner, but I am afraid I cannot accept, because since I last saw yoa I have suddenly changed my political opinions and think yon are al together wrong about everything. I shall be happy to make friends with you again if you will agree to think as I do; but, perhaps, being obstinate, you won't like to do this. So no more at present. From your lordship's obedient servant, "LoNO CCTBIM,." Next came Mrs. Hig-gins's turn. "Mi Deab Mrs. Higgcs Your kind letter has pleased me so much, because of its allusion to dear Rosa. I am so fond of her that I have been quite miserable from wondering all night whether she would marry me, and that must excuse the shakines3 of my hand writing this morning. I am sure I should make a good husband if Rosa would promise to keep my washer woman's scccunt correctly balanced. am very particular about this. Please think over the matter and let me have an early favorable answer, which will oblige, yours truly. Long CutbilIi." P. S. Shouldn't I like to catch dear Roe a under the mistletoe. ihe gentleman who wanted to be reconciled to Mr. Cntbill came in for this kindly missive: "My Deab Brown It was I who was in the wrong all through our quarrel, so please say nothing more in the mat ter. I have a vile temper, which I free ly acknowledge, and if yoa had kicked me down stairs when we last met it would have served me right, though I might have objected at the time. Pray come to dine with me on Saturday even ing at seven o'clock, and we will have one of the best bottles of champagne ont of my cellar. Don't trouble yourself to write and say you'll come, as I shall be out of town to-morrow and next day, but will be back m time for our dinner, wmcn wiu be a rouser, pver your friend, L. Cutbill. T ."ill. r. i i. . uuue fjarroison put me letters in envelopes, directed them, and stamped them with stamps of his own, after which, having hesitated a moment, he flung the three original letters into the fire. He had thought at first of restor ing them to their covers and laying them on the lawyer's table, but he con cluded that the fun would be much greater if he simply suppressed them. He was seated by the fire, studying the police reports in the timeSj and looking as innocent as possible, when Mr. Cut- bill returned home toward one o'clock Now, if the lawyer had behaved " like a gentleman " for the rest of the day, little Carrotson might have had mercy on him. The boy was in doubt about posting the letters he had written, and. kept them in his pocket like loaded weapons, ready for reprisals if Mr. Cut bill cheeked " Lim any further. Un fortunately, the lawyer was a dull per son, and committed blunder upon blun der in dealing with his email but sensi tive guest. He took him to the Tus saud show, but opposite the wax effigy of William Rufus he asked him at what date that monarch had ascended the throne. He refused to let little Carrot son go into the Chamber of Horrors, saying it would excite him. He bade him admire the noble brow of Richard Cobden, and took a mean advantage of the occasion to bore him about free trade. Finally, he drew down on him self the contempt of Carrotson by mis quoting Shakespeare as they were sur veying Charles Kemble in the part of Hamlet: " That's Hamlet saying, My kindom for a horse,'" remarked the mendacious lawyer. At Drury Lane in the evening it was worse. Little Carrotson derived some amusement from the pantomine, and al most relented in his revengeful pur poses ; but the miserable lawyer refused to stay for the harlequinade. He said that little boys ought not to be keptout of their beds after half-past ten. Little Carrotson silently ground his teeth, and from that moment Mr. Cutbill's punish ment was decreed beyond hope of par don. . The three letters were posted in the pillar box of Dean's Yard on the fol lowing day, when the boy returned to school. They were destined to have very re markable effects on the lawyer's future. In the first place there came to him on the Friday morning a short but sweet note from Mrs. Higgins: "My Deab Mb. Cutbill Your original and amusing way of proposing for dear Rosa's hand has made us both laugh, but my beloved child is quite alive to the honor which yon are con ferring on her, and I cm promise yon that all the affection which yon lavish upon her shall be amply repaid in kind. Please come at once; she is waiting for yon. Very faithfully yours, Floba Higoins." "What the deuoe does this mean?" asked Mr. Cutbill, with a blank look. He wrote at once for explanations, and then received a curt note, begging him to call at Mrs. Higgins's. Thet lady and her daughter imagined that the lawjer cherished the nnchivalrous design of retracting his proposal, and this they were determined to prevent, Mr. (J. was confronted with his own handwriting. He vowed it was not his, but was driven at last to own that possibly he had written the letter in his sleep. He had heard of such things happening, and though he did not believe he was a somnambulist, he could not, of course, swear that such was not the case. 'iiut if yon wrote the letter In your sleep, did it betray your unspoken thoughts?" was the clever Mrs. flig gins 8 next searching question. She smiled kindly as she said this, and Mr, Cntbill gave in. After all, why shouldn't he marry dear Rosa ? He returned to Gower street an engaged man ; but by that time he had come to guess who was the culprit who had played him this trick, and thought with indignation of the precocious depravity evinced by lit tle Carrotson. Thin was on the Saturday and Mr. Cutbill had scarcely reached home when Brown, his quondam friend, marched in with a beaming face. It should be said that this Brown had behaved very badly to Cutbill, but now there was emotion in his eyes as he advanced upon the lawyer and forcibly grasped his hand. "Yon have acted nobly in forgiving me, Cntbill. I shall never forget it. No more generous letter than yours was ever penned : but enough, I've brought a good appetite with me." I don't in the least understand you." Mr. Cutbill was about to say, coldly, but he checked himself. Since Brown praised him for his generosity, it was as well to take credit for such a rare virtue. Brown had evidentlv come to dinner, and as the lawyer always dined well, his sudden arrival did not matter much. But over their wine, by-the-by. when the two gentlemen had quite cemented their reconciliation, Mr. Cot- bill thought it beBt to tell the truth, and avow that it was to a pestilent Westminster boy, named Carrotson, that he was indebted for the pleasure of having Brown to dine at his table, As if to corroborate that assertion, that very evening's post brought a letter from the lawyer's third correspondent, the Peer, which ran thus: "JUY JJEAB MB. UCTBtLL What On earth is the meaning of the enclosed note, which, I presume, is a forgery ? Yours truly, C.' A visit which Mr. Cutbill paid to Westminister School on the Monday night might have had distressing con sequences for little Carrotson, bat for Mrs. Higgins's interference. As it was, the lawyer only went for the purpose of asking how many letters Carrotson had thought proper to write in his name, and he smiled rather a grim smile, though in cautioning the boy against practical jokes for the future. Little Carrotson laid the leBson well to heart, He got many a welcome reminder to this end from dear Rosa, who, after her marriage, become his ally, and often invited him to dine in Go wer street where she gave him no washing bills to balance, but treated him like a man, and tipped him sovereigns, earning in response his unqualified opinion as to her being a "brick." Hard Work for the Princes. Dr. Richard S. Rosenthal, who has been a tutor to the imperial family of Austria, is in Boston. He gives an in teresting account of the studies of the little princes and princesses, saying : "At two years of age the imperial children have French nurses, who talk nothing else but their own tongue. Thus a perfect accent is acquired. At the age of six the child is provided with a Ger man tutor, who is in the society of the prince or princess half the time ; so the child adds German to his French. At eight years of age an English tutor ap pears on the scene;vthen the child's day is divided into three parts one de voted to French, one to German, and one to English. As soon as the young archduke is able to enter the officers' school he is provided with a Hungarian adjutant, who talks to him continually in that difficult tongue. In another year a Bohemian instructor comes on the stage, and so on, new languages being gradually added to the linguistio stock of the young prince. Yon will realize what a many-languaged em pire it is that the Austrian Emperor rules over, when I tell you that the Austrian paper florins caoh contain ten languages in their printed regulations. Recently, when the Princess Stephanie, of Belgium, was betrothed to the Aus trian Crown Prince Rudolph, she had to take up the study of two of the most intricate and puzzling languages in the world, Hungarian and Bohemian, in order that she might be fitted to assume her future plaoe as Empress of Austria Hungary. I assure you that the prin cess, who is still studying, has shed many bitter tears over tlieie languages." A Singtjlab Amusement. While Madrid runs to bull-fights, and New York to walking-matches, Lucknow, par excellence the sporting town of India, finds combats between quails her most popular pastime. A nativa writer asserts that there is scarcely a Mahometan iu the plaoe who does not keep a training establishment. An un trained quail is worth from one to four cents, but when a bird becomes' a famous fighter its owner can cet ftlOO for it any day. Distinguished aaail live prondly in gauddy decorated cages and in the pit eviece great valor and dexterity. AN AMERICAN SHIPMASTER. One of the Old Style and His Pecu liar Wat a. R. B. Forbes writes to the Boston Journal as follows : 'In one of your re cent marine yarns, I observed that the writer says that he never knew cf a colored mate on board of a respectable ship. When in China, many years ago, I met Capt. Saulsbory, of Providence. I think his ship was called the "Wash ington. Hia chief mate was a full blooded African. It seems that his late mate had been caught asleep in his watch, and had otherwise given offense to Saulabury, who told him that if he was ever again found asleep in his watch he should be put into the galley and that the cook f ho- !d be promoted to his place. It W;j3-3i that there hap pened to be a blaCf man as mate on board the 'Washington. On his way home on that or some other voyage, he encountered a cyclone near Madagas car, and lost pretty much all bis spars ; that is to say, he was dismasted fore and aft, leaving only ten or twenty feet of his lower masts standing but Sauls bury was not given to panic, and he carefully saved most of his sails, blocks, rigging and portions of her spars. The gale soon moderated, and the ship did not leak. . Before anything could be done to make sail a fine French ship came along and sent a boat to the Washington offering to take off the crew, but Saulsbury langhed at the idea, and said, " give me u few bolts of canvas, a spar or two, and I shall be all right." The Frenchman complied, and inquired where he intended to put in to refit The emphatio answer was, "Am sterdam, for which port I have signed bills of lading.' The Frenchman left him, and in a very few days the Wash ington was so rigged as to be able to carry sail about equal to double reefed topsails and courses, jib and spanker. When approaching the toast of England one morning the same French ship was seen close by all a tauat-ho, excepting the loss of his mizzen topgallant mast. He had as usual with French ships of that day visited the Cape of Good Hope, St. Helena, and perhaps Ascencion. Saulsbury hailed, saying, I see you are in distress ; where do yon mean to put in for repairs ?" In these days ship3 were tot abandon ed when they met with grave accidents Another anecdote of Baulsbury I can vouch for. He was driven on shore in a "Tay-foong" in the vicinity of Cum- smgmoon, not very far west of Ltntin, China, The tide was very high, and when the gale subsided the Washington was found hign and dry fin hundred feet or more from salt wa'ee. Sauls bury removed all his ballast, the ship having no cargo on board, stripped the ship of everything ground tackle, hired an army of labo: era, male and female, and began to dig a dock, leaving an embankment on the outer side. About this time Mr. The. Dent, the chief of one of the prominent English houses at Canton and the agent of a local insurance company, anchored his little boat near by and came to pay Saulsbury a vifit ne expressed the opinion that all thia was labor lost, and that the ship oould never be floated. Saulsbury replied: "She must come off; she is not in sured !" Suffice it to say, the big mud hole was made, anchors were got out and planted, well backed, and when a high tide came the embankment was removed, and the ship was floated. A similar case oc curred later near the same locality when Capt. Win. Cole saved the bark Kent, of Boston. The record of such oases should be kept before our young sea men as examples worthy of following. People I Don't Like to Meet. "Dftr' am sartin fjlkses I want to keep away from," began Prest. Gard ner, of the Lime-Kiln Club, as the voices of the Glee Club died away on the last strains of "Sarah Jane's Baby, "I mean dat class of people who groan ober de wickedness of de world, an' who have heartaches an' sorrows to peddle aroun' de kentry at de reg'lar market rates. Dar' am de ole man Turner. He oomes ober to see me now and den, but he can't sot still kase somebody stole his dog, or hit him wid a brick-bat, or beat him out of seventy-five cents. He fully believes dat de world am gwine to smash at de rate of fifteen miles an hour, an' it would eanemost kill him to lose his ole wallet an' find a man honest 'nuff to return it. "Der widder Plumaell comes ober to borry some butter fur supper, an she draps down on a cha'r an' heaves a sigh as big as a barn doah an' goes on to say dat dis am a cold an' nnfeelin world. 'Cording to her tell all men am dis honest, all women extravagant, an' all chill'en just ready to come down wid de measles. Tears run down her cheeks as she tells how she has to work an' plan while eberybody else has money to frow inter Lake Erie, an' she wipes her nose on her apron as she asserts dat dis wicked world can't stan' mo' dan fo' week 8 longer. "Deacon Striper draps in to eat pop corn wid me of & Friday evenin' an' he hardly gits out from under his hat be fo' he begins to tell what his first wife died of; how his seoond run away; how hia third broke her leg by fallin' off a fence an' cost him $28.14 for doctors' bill, an' befo he gits frew yon couldn't make him believe but what de hul world was dead agin him. He prediots a late spring, a hot summer, poor crops, high prices, a bloody war, an' goes home feelin' dat he am stop pin' on airth only to accommodate somebody. "I have no sorrow of my own. I've been robbed, but dat was kase I left a winder up. I've been swindled, but dat was kase I thought fo' queens would beat t)' aces. I've bet on de wrong hoss; I've bought lottery tiokets whica didn't draw; I've bin sick unto death an' I've bin shot in de back wid a hull brickyard, but I do not sorrow and I do not ax fur sympathy. De world am plenty good 'nuff far de class of people livin' in it. Honest men am not lonesome fur company, an honest women am sartin to be appreciated. De janitor will now open fo' winders an' we will purceed to bizness." Detroit Free Press. Sad Incident of the Flood. The Ancient Mounds. A curious theory has been develop ad among the thinking community here, says a Vicksburg, Miss., letter, with re gard to the ancient mound builders that may go far toward solving a vexed problem. It appears that these mounds are now the principal points of refuge in all the overflowed districts, not only for the people but for Btock and the wild animals. The idea advanced is that the ancient inhabitants who lived remote from the hill country built these mounds for the purpose of entrapping game during the overflows, which, of course, must have been of more frequent occurrence and of greater magnitude than they are at present. It is claimed that tho bones and hunting implements found thereon substantiate this theory ; but, be this as it may, the fact cannot be disputed that these works of the mound builders, which are plentiful through out the present oveiflowed dist ricts, are serving a beneficial par xse a t nresent in preserving both lifed property. I he only thing against the theory lies in the fact that the mounds extend up into the prairie lands of Ohio and Illinois, all remote from the lowlands cT the Mississippi. Alexander Jasper, an old man from Crittenden County, arrived in this city recently, bringing with him hi4 wife and two boy3. lie seemed to hi) in great distress, and when questioned by a Gazette man he told the following sad story: "You know," he said, "that the whole country is under water." I am one of the snfferers of the flood. I lived in the Mississippi bottom, not far from Madison. I settled there several years ago and opened a small farm. I had heard of high water, but the plaoe where I settled seemed to be high, and I did not feel any fear. Well, high water came repeatedly, but it never reached me. Night before last, while myself and family were at supper, we were startled by a. terrible roar. I went to the door and looked out but could see nothing. My wife suggested that the noise might be caused by water, but I did not pay much attention to the remark, for I did not see how water could break through with such force. While I stood listening there came a mighty rush, and before I knew it the whole country was flooded with water. I called to my wife to help me secure the children. The house was full of water. I seized one little girl, and my wife seized tho other. The house moved. The lamp fell and was extinguished. I called to my little boy, and received a strangled reply. I rushed through the flood to the place from which the sound came, and called again, but received no reply. The house went to pieces. I seized my wife and struggled with her to a slight ele vation. The roar was deafening. We remained there until morning. When light came, a rushing torrent swept over the site of our home. My little boy was gone." Little. Book Gazette. ALMOST BURIED A LITE. Josephine Itynian's Horrible Expert ence while Lyiug in a Tranoe. Scenes Amid the Waters. Potatoes from Abroad. Talk about carrying coals to New castle. In the windows of the grocery shops on our populous avenues will be seen placards bearing the following in scription: " Potatoes from Scotland and Ireland." " Cabbages from Holland." "Battel from Holstein." This latter dairy product, by the way, is said to be the finest in the world. The Circassia last week brought over a bundl ed pack ages of it It is well known in England, where it sells at higher prices than the Amerioan product. No wonder the belance of trade is against us, when we are importing vegetables and dairy pro ducts from Europe. It is scarcely more than a year since Mr. James Caiird, after a",viait to this country, advise! Scotch and English agriculturists to stop grow ing wheat and turn their attention to market gardening and dairy products. Ae drought of lat summer on the eastern seaboard of this oountry gave an immediate point to Lis reoommenda tion. N. Y. Htmr. The Old South. A subscription paper at Boston ia taking pledges to ward reducing the Old South Churoh debt to $100,000, tho interest on which can be paid by rents. The present debt is $208,000, and about half the needed sum is pledged. Viotoby vering. belongs to the moat perse- Mr. W. L. Nelson, of the insurance agency of Nelson & Hanks, of New Or leans, and Mr. John King returned from the southeastern portion of Louisiana. They report a terrible condition of things existing in that country, not alone from the effects of the overflow, but as a consequence of the failures of the crops for the last two years. The water from Tripp's Station to Arkansas City ia from Ave to fifty feet deep, and the trip conld be made by no other conveyance than a boat. All along the route could be seen colored people quartered in the lofts of houses. The water ran swiftly through the main rooms, and cats, dogs and hogs gathered upon the roofs, while the cattle that had escaped drowning were standing upon narrow strips of ground or quartered upon rafts not far distant Tbey went to Monticello from Pine Bluff by rail, and for five miles the track could not be seen, being under water to the depth of four feet. The whole country for many miles was one vast sheet of water, and it seemed that nothing conld be expected of it in the future unless the general government devised some means and put them into successful operation for the prevention of overflows. Thou sands of cattle are drowned, human be ings are living like animals, houses are torn to pieces and knocked from their foundations, fenco rails ' are floating around by the thousand. All these cir cumstances add to the terrible condition of things that prevailed before the flood, and make the situation appalling in deed. But what they saw in the bot tom between Tripp's Station, Arkansas City, though bad enough, was not as dark as some of the soenes around Rose dale and Riverton which were related to them by eye-witnesses. Somb men smoke for dyspepsia, some for toothache, corpulency, eto. Smoke will oure most, an v thing. It will cure i even a " haw." From the Cincinnati Enquirer. Jsephine Ryman, a fair-haired, bine eyed young woman, is just recovering from a remarkable illness at the home of her sister, Mrs. Brown, in this place. Her parents died some years ago, and Josephine went to work in St. James, a little village near Evansville, Ind. One Saturday night last winter she went to singing school. She had not been in her seat long when she felt a very strange sensation about the head, ac companied by pains in the back. She arose to her feet, as if to start out of church, when she fell in a dead faint, and was carried home. Her friends at first thought that-the attack was- but a mere fainting fpell, and the usual re storatives were applied, but the girl continued to lie as if dead. Sunday came and went, but still there was no change. The body .became colder and colder, the eyes were open and staring, the lips were apart, there was no per ceptible pulse, and every indication pointed to death. Physicians pronounced life extinct. The priest was Bent for to administer the lost rites, and the weep ing sisters and friends of the family prepared to bid Josephine the last fare well. The coffin was ordered, busy fingers began to prepare white clothes in which to bury the corpse, and, m fact, every preparation was made for the final scene. Thus passed Monday. On the even ing of that day there was a slight ohange in the appearance of the body, which gave the startled watchers a faint hope that the girl lay in a trance, and that this was but death's counterfeit. The body lay on its back, with arms folded, just as the attendants had placed it. There was not the least perceptible breathing ; the eyes still had that stony, unmeaning gaze ; the face was as pallid as white marble ; but the iciness of real death was wanting. The feet and limbs were not warm, but they did not have that chilly touch that is a sure accom paniment of actual dissolution. There was sufficient doubts in the minds of those in attendance to warrant caution, and so another day and night passed. On Wednesday, or the fourth day after the girl was first stricken down, the priest was again sent for. After criti cally examining the case and consulting with the physician, he said: "It is a trance. She may come to herself, but it will be but momentary. When she relapses all will be over. She can't live." Accordingly tho funeral was eet for the next day. Imagine the feelings of horror which possessed this girl when it is know that sho was cognizant of every word that was spoken in that roora. and could Fee the- forrrs? of her friends and watchers about her couch, Her terrible situation is best told by herself. She said to me recently: " Oh, sir, it was horrible. As I lay there on my back, stretched out on the boards, with my arms crossed and feet tied together, wirh the lighted candles about my head, and could see my sisters and neighbors come and peer into my face, it was awful. I heard every word spoken. My body, limbs and arms were as cold as ice. I thought of the agony ot being buried anvo, oi Deing nailed in a coffin and lowered into the ground. I tried to make some noise, or move just a Utile, to let them know that I was alive, but it was impos sible. I saw my sisters come in one by one and look into my face. 'Poor Josie, she's gone.' Their tears dropped on my hair, and their kisses were warm to my lips. As they turned to leave me, it seemed as if I must make an effort to attract their attention, if only by my moving my eyelids. But I could not do it. I felt like screaming. I tried to, but I couldn't move a muscle. The priest came in, and felt my arms and wrists. He shook his head. Then he placed his ear to my heart. It was no use. He could not hear it beat. After saying a short prayer for the repose of my soul, ne, too, turned ana leit me, and mv agony and horror were re doubled. Will no one find out that I am alive ?' I said to myself. Must I be buried only to wake when it is too late ? Must I come back to life when they put me in the vault, and all of the people have gone away, only to die of fright and horror and suffocation ?' The thought was maddening ! Why doesn't the doctor do something to bring me to myself ? I am not dead ! It was no use. There I lay thinking and listening to every word that was said. I could hear a woman giving directions as to the shroud. I heard the time set for the funeral and all. I could see every one who came to look at me. I tried to look serious and let them know that I under stood it all, but it was impossible. It is a wonder I did not dio of fright and agony. I often think that I would sooner die, a thousand times sooner, than go through that experience again. "Finally, when all was ready, when the shroud was finished, and all had left the room but two or three, some one said : ' Ain't you going to cut her hair off?' My hair was done up in long braids, and fell down my back. ' Yes,' said my sister, we'll cut it off now.' Then they got the scissors and came up to me. While one of them took hold of my head and turned it to one side, the one with the scissors began the outting. I could feel the cold steel on my neck. I realized that this was about the last thing they'd do before putting me in the coffin. The woman began to clip, and in a second or two one long braid of hair was taken off and laid aside. My head was then turned the other way to allow them to get at the other braid, but this was not touched. Thank God ! some thing in my condition or some move ment, I don't know what it was, caused my sister to scream, and I was saved. The scissors dropped to the floor with a loud noi3e, the woman jumped back nearly soared to death, and I sat up. You should have seen that house a little while after that, I thought everybody had gone crazy. 'Veiie's alive 1' Verne's alive !' The whole neighbor hood came rushing in as soon as they heard of it, and for several days there was nothing talked about but me. My folks thought I didn't know what had been going on. Little they thought that every word spoken in that room was heard and understood by me. They tried to keep everybody from referring to the fact that my shroud was bought, the coffin ordered, and the funeral arranged. They made an excuse, too, for part of my hair being cat off. They told me the reason of it was that a plaster had been put on the back of my neck and my hair got no tangled in it that ia had to be cut away. I didn't say any thing. One day my little brother said to me, ' Venie, yoa was goin' to be buried last Thursday, and they cut your hair off.' He never imagined that I knew more about that than he did. The recollection of those terrible days aud nights will never leave me. I pray to God that I may never be called upon to pass through it again. I would rather die." A Batch of Reasons. A great many people cannot under stand why the female portion of the o6mmunity prefer" sober men. The matter is simple enough: 1. Wives like sober husbands because they can reason with a sober man. 2. The sober man is more com panionable. 3. Sober men have pride, and pride is a woman's main hold. 4. Sobriety means a comfortable home. 5. Good clothes for mother and children. 6. A house of your own. 7. Evenings at home instead of in a bar-room. 8. Better health and the enjoyment of life. 9. An elevated view of life and a sense of your responsibility. 10. You are a credit to your wife and children. 11. People who once despised you will now bless you. 12. Your word will be gauged as yon resist the tempter. 13. Young men will pattern after you. 14. Yon will be an ornament to society and the whole town in which yon live. 15. The whole community will take pride in yoa and wish they had more like you. 16, Your family and friends will ap preciate you. 17. Your enemies will admire your path of sobriety. 18. Scoffers will be disarmed by your works. 19, Your many qualities will grow with your years. How Senatorial Secrets Leak Ont, That body, writes a- Washington cor respondent, is composed of seventy six old men. We have the maxim of "garrulous age," and it applies to the Senate as to all other collections of grandfathers. Moreover, the Senate does not keep a secret because it never has. When a Senator comes to Wash ington he is astonished to find the sworn proceediijgs of the chamber told to the world before the echoes have al most died away. He keeps seeing these reports day after day and year after year until he accepts it as a matter of course. In the progress of time he makes acquaintances among newspaper men, and finds, perhaps, that it is very convenient to have friendly relations with them. He gets in the way of tell ing them what is going on. He finds it mutually serviceable. This being the case, and knowing very well that what the Senate does in ex ecutive session will be published the next day, being very well aware that Senatorial secrecy is a faroe, he now and then gives his newspaper friend a point " in exeoutive business. The newspaper man has friends in his own guild and they have Senatorial friends. The reporters pat one and one together, and then two and two together, and the result is a very detailed and often very correct report of the whole seoret. This is the explanation of what seems to many an inexplicable aud deplorable lack of honor among the sworn officers of Government. The proceedings of caucuses get out in the same way. A Detective Story. A singular story is told at the expense of Philadelphia detectives by a corre spondent of the New York Post. It ap pears that a lad in Philadelphia was sent by his employers to collect a bill of $65.85. He collected the sum, took it home, and fearing burglars, hid it under the carpet in the dining-room. The next morning the bills conld not be found. No other member of the family had seen the money, and what had become of it was a puzzle. The boy went to the store and reported the loss. An officer whom it is now known has been receiving "hush money" from criminals was sent to the house, and after studying the spot where the $65.85 had been concealed, charged the mother and father of the boy with stealing it, and stated that unless it was restored within twenty-four hours they would be arrested. Rather than have trouble about the matter the father paid the firm tho sum that had been lost The following night the father heard a noise in his son's room, and upon going into the apartment found the boy upon the floor with a roll of bills in his hand. Upon investigation the money was found to bo the $65.85. The boy was a som nambulist, aud perhaps while dreaming cf the concealed treasure, had risen from his bed, descended to the dining-room, and removing the money from beneath the carpet, carried it op stairs and placed it beneath the matting of hia bedroom. Displeased. A dispatch from Berlin states that ac cording to intelligence from St Peters burg the Czar on reoeiving General Skobeleff said: "I am displeased with you. You doubtless wished to glorify Russia. Look at the results obtained. Before your speech Russia enjoyed a certain authority in Europe. Now yoa see her forsaken. Austria is irritated and France is distant. Mr. Gladstone has bis bands tied, and the Rnssopho bist English party trinmpliB at fiuding foundation on which to base its in vectives against what it regards as the bellicose disposition and grasping ten dencies of Russia." Feouliab. There was nothing peon- liar about a reoeut Toronto wedding up to the point when the married couple quitted the churoh. Then the bride dropped her husband's arm, got into her father s oarriage, and returned home alone. She refased either to see him again or to make auy explanation of her conduct. WIT AND WISDOM. Hope is the sng v ooating on the pill of life. "Nkcbssity knows no law." Neces sity must be a Mormon. Simples says his wife is splendid sample of the "opposite sex." Tab first petition we should make is for a good conscience, the next for health of mind and then of body. Tommy asked his mother if the sohool teacher's ferrule was a piece of tha board of education. Waterloo 06 server. It is said that "coal is king." Per haps some of it is, bat the last lot that came into this office, says an exchange, was dust Pianists are not always a be jeweled set, bat did yoa ever see one who did not like to display his finger-iug? Mutt cat People. Sooj will be heard the cry of the sea side hotel keeper, ala Henry V. "Once more unto the beach, kind friends I The Judge. A Boston paper says that it never knew a detective to have a correct theory of a murder until after the cul prit was caught. If Hendrix had mutilated the great unfinished Washington monument, ho would not have been arrested ; becausa Washington was not a spy. Puck. Ir the commissioner ot agriculture would only issue a little treatise on tha , art of grafting new maple sugar on peach trees he would save the reputation of many a grocer for honesty. Conscientious farmers are feeding old hens on spring water so as' to have a point on which to stifle conscience when they calmly swear the birds are spring chickens. Philadelphia Chronicle. Tennyson's "Charge of the Heavy Brigade" reads as if he wrote it while galloping over a plowed field ahead of a bull who wanted to see him for a min ute or two; but most anything is poetry nowadays. Free Presi. The Boston papers mitigate tha crime of a man who committed suioide there last week, by saying that it was his first offense. Very likely he had not been long in the locality, or he would have made the attempt sooner. Two men agree to build a wall to gether. One does four-fifths of the bossing and the other three-tenths of the work, and thsy finally conclude to pay a man $18 to finish the job. Find the length and height of the wall. A west-end resident had a quarrel with a plumber beoause he thought the latter was trying to kill time, and ex claimed : "Confound you, get out 1 Ga and loaf on the street, and I'll pay yoa for your time. I'll be hanged if I pay rent on a house for yoa to loaf in !" This is a stone Fence. It is bnilt Strong. A Man can get over this kind of a Stone Fence very easy. There are some Stone Fences, however, that are built much Stronger, and it sometimes takes a Man two or three Days to get over one of them. Yonker Gazette. "Whxk I grow up, I'll be a man, wbn't I?" asked a little boy of his mother. " Yes, my son : but if yoa want to be a man yoa mast be indus trious at school and learn how to behave yourself." "Why, mamma, do the lazy boys turn oat to be women ?" " Most of do, them my child." We should have a great deal more domestic happiness if we would com-" mit to memory the lines which the honest sailor composed for hia bweet heart : I'll be content with Annie Bread, And won't bva any bat hw. Is thebb a genius in this eon try who can outwit the'Euglish sparrow? The little nuisance will dodge a bullet, re fuse poisoned food, stand twenty de grees below zero, and begin rebuilding his nest within two minutes after it has been torn down. Detroit Free Prete. " What ails tbat maid?" said Hpilkinj, A 8 bo met a punning fair, And saw ht-r eyes, 'neatb ' wave" and "crimp," Whicb o'er bif forehead dangled limp, Give forih a t-tony stare. " Meti.inks,' said Wilkins, scornfully, As be tossed liu head in air, " She bas no drains to cudgel And so the bangs her hair." "No," said the prominent Kansas citizen "no, boys, I won't accept the office of County Treasurer. I'm com fortably fixed, like my home, and my neighbors and my family I like. I don't want to have to skip out f or Caiada and leave all this. Muoh obliged for the chance, but I can't accept" In his lecture on "The Humor of the Negro Race." Hon. 8. S. Cox tells the following good one at his own expense: "While in Georgia some time ago I hap pened to be passing along the street 'Hallo, Sam,' said a particularly black colored man. 'Hullo,' I promptly re plied : whereupon the African aforesaid retorted : ' 'Case me, sah, l'se 'dressing another cnllud man.' " Youno George D. having importuned his father for a horse, the indulgent parent presented him with the ancient steed which for years had carried him about the city streets. A few days af terward the affectionate son interviewed his father and renewed his request, say ing, "lather, can t you give me a horse a little nearer my own age one that would be more of a companion for me ?" Tbanslated from a French paper : A boy sits with a cloth-covered hand- cirt at the foot of a hill. A walking goer comes along, at whose approach the boy to weep begins. Man "Yoang one, why howlest thou, then ?" Boy "I can with the cart not the hill np- come. Man, good-humoredly "Welt, then, see here I (Poshes the cart until the hill np.) So there! (Himself of the sweat drying.) Say once, what hast thon, then, really, upon thy cart?" Boy "My big brother Bleeps thereup on. A primary teacher, not a thousand miles from the "Hub," is describing the banana, and the children are to name it Finally, she steps to the board and draws an outliue of the fruit Up come3 Johnnie's hand. "Well, John nie, what have I described ?" "Cuoum ber!" "Ob, uo; the encumber grows here, and I told you this fruit grows in the South ; besides, is not the cucum ber a vegetable ?" Johnnie yields the point and re' apses into a brown stndy. Soon an idea strikes him and up goes his hand again. "Are yon sure you are right this time, Johnnie ?" "Yes'm," with self-assurance. "Well, what is it?" "Sausage 1" is the triumphant re joinder. Bcrdette writes from Nantucket: "Many of the old houses in the town are shingled all the way over, reminding one of the houses so common in St. John. The shingler, when he shungle. apparently began at . the baseboard, shongle right up the front of the house, over the cornice, np to the ridge-pole, where he crawled over, went right along shingling, and shangla head first on down the other side of the house to the ground. Perhaps it was not done in this way. I 'o not assort that it was. I only say, and I say it very meekly, tint that ia the way it impressed me, and if any man says I am a liar, I will take it back, right i-umediately, and ad mit that the shingles were pasted on with gum arabio or the white or gg.