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r) Advertising Rates. Space. Rita c Vm One column (38 Inches) aftu m TWfourthi column wtflicYte)"":.. Ono-h)f colamn (13 inches) .....I.! mm Oneahird column (. inches) Jo'oo One-fourth column tfy inches) J"!!! Ju'oo One-sixth column us inches)... ..J."""." tm aa OneiKhth oolnmn(S! inches).. 25 00 pnelevcnth column us inchea . lu no One-jixtwnth column , I4 iSchos " "i "T 15 S One-twentyixth column (I inch)...:.:;:". " 0 One-mty.econd column () i inch)..""".""" j.Ja lof tional P"3 r ye" viU be charged as fob Es-ht months, noths price of full year. even 8-iothn 'W 8x Mvths Five 6-Wths Four 6-l.iths " Three 4-!0thi Two S-luths One Sloths " One insertion. 1-lulh RoaiUnr notices, io cents per line each tose-tlon. put no chsnre m.vle of less than $(.(i0. Probate ami t qnuuissiouers' notices (3 insertions) ttiu. Lilvratioiis r--trys.fcc.,(3insertionH)1.5ul Legal noticed insertions 10 ceuts iwr line. lor MM! ITilla My Calf Skin Business is absorbing my capital, time and attention, and, having decided to close out ail of my other branches of business as well as my miscellaneous personal property and real estate, I offer for sale all the land I own except that occupied in my business and my dwelling, and will dispose of same at very low payment The Following is a OFFERINGS OF One 2 50-Acre Farm with fair dwelling, barns, Bheds, eto., suitably di vided into tillage, pasture, wood, timber, sugar place and apple orohard; running water at house and barn, school kouse on land thaf was formerly part of the farm, saw-mill within one-third mile, soil strong and productive, and farm woald be re garded worth $3,000 as farms are Belling. Will sell it for $2,000500 down, bal ance 0100 per year. One 50-Acre Farm, fair buildings, good water, good soil; price $750230 down, balance 50 per year. One 5-Acre Farm near Hyde Tars: village, suitable for a laboring man who wishes to keep a cow and raise his own vegetables; price 8500150 down, balance 50 per year. One Dwelling House in Hyde Park village, location good, buildings new and good size; prieo $1,000 300 down, balance 50 per year. Sixteen Acres of Land just out of Hyde Park village a choice desirable, meadow, not one-half acre in the piece bat what is good; prioa $30 per acre by measure. Will sell part or all. Several Good Bunding Lots In Hyde Park village. To enterprising and industrious young men who can raise 200 dollars to put into land and labor, I will famish the timber, lumber, stone, brick, nails, glass, doors, sash, shingle and lime, wherewifh to build respectable houses, and allow payment therefor to be made in $25 semi-annual payments. Land in parcels of one, two and three acres will be sold on favorable terms to those who want land with same near by Price of lots, $75, $100, $125 and $150 each. One Store In Hyde Park village, known as the "Corner Store," or "Togo's Block." It la rented for five Tears at two hundred dollars per year, but ar rangements can probably be made to have the lease vacated if desired. Price, $2,000 $500 down, balance $100 per year. Sixty Acres Timber Land In Johnson. This lot Is lease land and not sub ject to taxation, but is subject to an annual rental of $12. Will sell my equity for $125. I never saw the lot, but am informed that it is within two miles of a sawmill, no bad hills between mill and lot, and is represented to me to be cheap for any man desiring a logging job. Terms, $50 down $25 in one and $23 in two years, two dollars per M. Btumpage reserved until I am paid. One Timber Lot of about one hundred acres, lying on the banks of the mill pond which supplies the new H. S. Haskins null in Hyde Park. Prioe $300 $100 down, 25 per year. Two dollars per M. stumpage reserved till lot is paid for. . ' One Building Lot In Belmont, Mass., within a few rods of both the Vt and Mass. and the Fitohburg depots at Waverly. Prioe $100100 down, balanoe 50 per year. An examination of the property will show I believe that I have placed vac ation much below what good judges would appraise it, but I am determined tc close it out and relieve myself of the care of it at the earliest moment praotioable. Parties desiring safe and paying investments will find this property well worth their examination. To such as want for their own nso either of the parcels of real estate above offered, Iconfldontly recommend A3 CHEAP any one of the above described lota. - CARROLL S. PAGE. llydo Park, Yt., Feb 2, VOL XIII. NO. .Residences, figures and on easy terms of Partial List or my REAL ESTATE 1SS5. 52. M ORRIS BE PATIENT WITH THE LIVING. Sweet friends, when thon and I art gone Beyond earth's weary labor', When small shall be onr need or graca From comrade or from neighbor; Fassed all tha strife, the toil, the care, And done with all the sighing What tender truth shall we have gained, Alas ! by simply dying Then lips too chary of their praise Will tell our merits over, And eyes too swift our faults to see, Shall no defect diicover, Then hands that would not lift a stone Where stones were thick to cuuiber Our steep hill path will scatter flowers Above our pillowed slumber. Bweet friends, perchance, both thou an! I, Ere love is past forgiving, Should take the earnest lesson home Be patient with the living I To-day's repreasod rebuke may save Oar blinding tears to-morrow; Then patience, o'on when keenest edge May whet a nameless sorrow. lis easy to be gentle when Death's silence shames our clamor, , And easy to discern tho best Through memory's mystic glamour; But wise it wore for thoe and me, Ere love is past forgiving, To take the tender less m home Be patient with the living ! Good Cheer. TOLLY'S ALLOWANCE. BY ISA CAEUIXOTON CABELL. The ladies of St. Philin's Sewinrr Circle always spoke of Mrs. Fuller's six daughters as if they were an extrava gance m which she had wilfully in dulged, and by good management could have avoided. "If they had only been boys, now 1" Mrs. Archdeaconess (as Polly Fuller called her behind her august back) Nevins would say. "But six good for nothing, useless girl3'" Perhaps the reason Mrs. Kevins ob jected so strenuously to Mrs. Fuller's preference for the female sex was that she had had boys ; that is, she had had one boy, college-bred, European toured, with a fortune in his own right, to say nothing of his prospective heirship through Jeremiah Kevins, Sen., the richest vestry-man in St. Philip's church. And this adored, petted, and only boy was very fond of the Fuller girls, and so attentive to Pollv, the prettiest of the lot. that Blooniifigdalo was agog with excitement on the sub ject. So she would repeat: "If they had only been boys stalwart, hard working boys 1 But six girls 1" Kow it was hard to believe for the Archdeaconess was tall, grizzled, bony, and she might have left Jericho at any hour "for her beard was fully grown'' that she, too, must at one time have V . " 1 i r t i i ii uccu u irin, as jir. uaraen was once a single gentleman; but this fact did not soften her toward her sex. If Jerry But we are anticipating. There certainly were six Fullers Margaret, Jen, Julie, Polly, Lillian, lioso. They lived in a little cramped up rectory tlint belonged to St. Iliilir's. i a Ijjui iiitic-church o.t liio 'uiitsklifs of j Bloomingdule. Their papa was a dear, ' wrong-headed, clover, impractical clergyman, who could nnvcr see his way to orthodoxy, and yet was not sufficient ly hetrodox for his bishop 8 dismissal. Bo he put him where his scientific ser mons could do least harm and his holy life most good. Their mamma was only a shade better, as Bhe proved by having six girls instead of boys. Her light bread was apt to refuse to rise, and her preserves Lad a way of working alter tne second ween. If the Archdeaconess could have broken oil tho engagement between the Rev. Alphonso Fuller and Susan his wife, which had existed for twenty seven years, and sent the six offending maidens back to chaos or to paradise, and married them both to more suitable and more practical people, I suppose it would have been better. Providence is a poor manager, compared to Mrs. Jeremiah Kevins; but she couldn't. So St. Philip's had to put up with a thou sand dollar a year rector, his shiftless wife, and his half a dozen daughters, The Fullers were generally absurdly, provokingly happy. As long as one has no "objects of bigotry and virtue,", it makes little difference if the cat does jump on the parlor table. If the car pet is worn to rags, the tears of the maid-of -all work may be dried with the reflection that a cinder or two dropped from the ash-pan will do little damage. But about six months previous it was borne on the minds of these six females that if they had an allowance they would all present much better appear ances, and spend less money in doing It. And when the s'x Fuller girls made up their minds, there was an end of it. They interviewed their mamma, they bullied their papa, they built such splendid air castles of what they would do if they only could be allowed to judge for themselves, that the long-suffering martyr consented, and promised to let them have their way. Now a promise in the Fuller family was as good as a bond better, for I have heard many a man besides St. Paul de clare himself happy, especially after a panic in the street, except these bonds. But the difficulty about the allowance was this : the day these girls got their money they felt 60 enormously rich that they could not contain themselves and it. They forgot it must last six months, and represented boots, gloves, gowns, bonnets a thousand necessaries. They forgot the waste the lack of a parasol makes in tha life of the American girl; they only saw the beautiful $ (no, I will not hold them up to ridicule), and they longed to spend it, and it burned in their pockets, till, Bias! sometimes they lived like prodigals for three weeks, and starved and were almost naked the rest of tho twenty-six. On this particular morning the whole family were assembled in the sitting room. It was a June day, a dewy, rosy, dimpled day, and "all the trees on all the hills had opened their thousand leaves"; tha air itself was as fresh and sweet as the first day that ever broko in paradise. Even the orphan-school children had come out the Sunday be fore in little pink-sprigged calicoes. All the Fullers but one had gone to church also in their neat spring suits, looking so stylish and jaunty, so sweet anil violet-eyed, that the Archdeaconess failed in her responses, and scanned each figure as it went up the aisle with a glance that Julio declared amounted to an indictment for larceny. Yes, all the Fullers but one. One wretched, forlorn, spendthrift of a Ful ler staid at home. She had neither spring gown, nor spring hat, nor boots, nor parasol; she had spent her allow ance long ago on concert tickets, and candy, and a set of silver jewelry. So she spent the day in a disrepu table gingham, and a hat that, deserves a chapter to itself, swinging in the big apple tree, and wishing she had her money back.' And this unfortunate was named Polly, nnd the was nineteen years old old enough and pretty enough to know holler. "If wo had onlv known how much of a hole you were in. Pollv." said Jch. 1 "wu'd have clubbed in and helped you buy vour spring things." "Ko, my dears," said papa, from VILLE AND HYDE what was by courtesy called "tho study," though in reality it was the china closet and canned fruit room (the Fullers ate a good deal i f canned things; their preserves weren't generally successful). "It is not so recorded' in the bond. You know you bargained each to make the most of her allow ance, and bear the consequences of her good or evil judgment. If Polly has spent her money, she must do without." Alas! each remembered; it was so written in the bond. "What have you got toward spring things, .Folly dear V asked mamma. looking up from Herbert Spencer's "Sociology'' in a dazed way, and en deavoring to set her cap at right an gles, which, if the truth be told, was not quite as straight as a plumb-line, "i nave my uiacK satteen, mamma (to be sure, the front is stained with lemonade, but I don't care), and my boots are pretty good, and I have one long, nice, cream-colored gant de Suede tnat luckily is for mv right hand, and my turnuoisc ring- on mv left, so it does noi matter about tne other s oeinif lost. and my white muslin, and my white mull (to be sure, it has shrunken up to my knees, but I can let it down). ' she said, eagerly; then, seeing amuse'ment in her sisters' eves, she hurst into tears and rushed out, callinsr. in a loud voice "I do not care if I do not have another rag to my back so long as I live. I am going to bed, and will stay there till I die for want of exercise, and then you wid all be sorry, and not laugh at me, and taunt me, because I am not mean. miserly, niggardly things like your selves." Come back. Pollv. love." cried all the five unoffending sisters, deenlv grieved, but not at all hurt by Polly's outDurst. "leu us about y. ur hats, and how much money have you ?" "I have no hat but this," said Polly, sobbing bitterly; "and fifteen dollars." Tear3 of sympathy stood in mamma's eyes; "Sociology" slipped off her lap and fell to the ground. Papa tapped his finger reflectively on the pane. For the first time he half wished he had not given the bishop so positive a reply about tho doctrine of original sin. One might bo mistaken, and this was Polly's hat. As I remarked, it was her only one, and deserved a chapter to itself. It was a little round bonnet, originally of white straw, which was now sunburned to a dirty yellow; a faded red rose adorned one side; the crown was mashed in; a limp, draggled feather stood up in front. Nothing could have been more hopeless, more disreputable. "Poor dear!" But Polly had flown ; the subject was ' too tender to be discussed. Just then the bell rang. "A note for Miss Polly; from Mr. Jerry Nevins, I s'pose," said the little maid-of-all-work, sympathetically. She was a very black fisted Mercury, dui never did uupid select a more in-1 forested one; and tho note was seized llTT Inn nn.l Anito.ln n.nI.A.J 1 . 1. I eagerly welcomed by the wnoie lamily as a diversion for the un happy damsel. "Let's find her." Stransre to say, tho chorus did not; seek folly in her little w-hite-curtairieu cuntnoor, where she vowed eji would they made straight for the apple tree, I and there, perched on ono of the high est bouehs, was tho penniless Pollv. singing ia her high clear voice, "I eeiit thee late a rosy wreath." "Here, Poll here's a noto from Jerry Nevins," cried the chorus, de lightedly. "Get down and read it." Miss Fuller slipped at once from her leafy throne, and read aloud the follow ing missive : "Mv dear Miss Polly I am going in my drag, with Miss Miverton and Sam Kennolds, to the polo match to day at lour O'clock. Won't you let us call for you? I want you to drive. Please say yes. Yours always, "J. M. Kevins, Jun." Ou ominous silence fell for the space of one moment. It was broken by the voice of our heroine. "I'm going," said Polly. "But your clothes, Polly," cried tho chorus. "I don't care one bit about my clothes," said she defiantly. "I'll take your parasol, Margaret, and I'll get you to smooth my muslin Jen, and I've got one glove, and I'm going." "But your hat, dear," said Julio. "I'll gladly lend you mine, but it bo longs to my suit, and is all gray, and you d look like a guy in it." "Kevermind," said-Polly, dismiss ing the whole crew with a wave of tho hand; "I will get mo a hat. Give yourselves no concern." With these words she rushed into the house, and in a few minutes had disappeared down the long, irregular street. Half an hour later a tall young lady in a disreputable bonnet and a gingham dress made her entree into a fashionable millinery. All the shop girls, and that superior person who presided over the establishment, knew her by sight as ono of the rector of St. rhilip's six daugh ters the prettiest one. More valuable customers were being served, so she re ceived no special attention. But pres ently the head of the establishment herself heard those unmistakable tones of command that, though they came from this insignificant customer, brought her down to her marrow bones, so to speak, and half a dozen obedient at tendants to her side. "Here," she cried, with her mouth 7 full of pins; "show Mrs. Van Dyke these bonnets; I myself will wait on Miss Fuller." "I wish a bonnet that is becoming to me," said tho young lady, calmly. "Ah! mademoiselle this is a French hat," Madame exclaimed, "a love, a beauty, exactly your style, mada ex pressly for you bought for you, " she cried, growing bolder, and encouragod by Polly's pleased gaze at herself in tho mirror. "What is the p ice?" "Only fifteen dollars," said Madame, "to you, Miss Fuller, the daughter of a clergyman and a customer" (Margaret had bought a pair of ribbon strings there a year ago). "Fifteen dollars only." "I will take it with me," said Polly, laying her moist, hot money on the counter, for she had carried it in her hand her gloveless hand all the way from the rectory. Madame smilingly did up the parcel. She had just olTcrt'd'the hat to Mrs. You Dyke for tin dollars, and it was worth six a bit of lace, an embroidered crown and a pink rose at the side; that was all. But one must take money where one find3 it. Polly's fifteen dollars were as good as cross Mrs. Van Dyke's ten better by five. Our young lady got home about half past throe o'clock. Everybody had gone out but Jen, who, exhausted with smoothing the muslin, was fast usleep. She rushed into her tiny bedroom, and hi fr.in her preparations. Kotwithstand- ! inrr nil Bncpil .Terw was at the door with his drag and his guests ere Miss Polly's muslin was donned. AVith all her faults, Polly had little personal vanity. Sin; seldom looked in tho glass. Ono lcanui was that tho mir ror was cracked exactly through the middle: another, that her sisters' criti- cisms held up to candid view nil faults ' and defects. She never thought of her j faro or hend. She threw on her dies?, : pitched a bonnet on the back of her PARK, VERMONT, curiy Drown nair, new down tho steps and was assisted into the drag by two . fjiouuis mm a smiling nosi. ht:., r: . i j . miss .mn'Huii lfuueu DacK in a perfectly-fitting driving costume, and gave her the friendliest of smiles a little condescending, indeed, and was it slightly amused? 'that -as not possible. To be sure, one dimpled hand was hnrn but she had no right to suspect that the other glove would not soon be used to cover it. White was always en renle and becoming, and she had on her' fifteen dollar bonnet. So Polly bowed and smiled back again, and was altogether so sweet -and lovely and like a Juno rose that Mr. Jerry Kevins had hard work to keep from declaring himself on the spot. The Kennels, at which the polo game was played, was a very fashionable place. Everybody was out that after noon. Polly was so happy happy with that coiisolation religion itself does not always give of being appropriately and becomi -gly dressed. To be sure, all her intone was EWhl'oved up; she was a wrct&tifl,- pn.lffrRrc creature on tht morrow,---. bnt Sfeai. .to-day. "Let t, -morrow take care of the things of itsc ," quoted Polly, piously. "Ev. ry one is so kind," she whispered to Jei-y, confidingly. "See, they are all bo-ring and smiling." "II w pretty Polly Fuller is!" she heard somebody say as she passed. "Poo; little thing 1 Did you ever see Thr rest was lost. Polly drew her self vp rather indignantly. "They are commenting on my bon net, and wondering where I got it im pertinent things!" Then she looked up and saw Jerry's eyes fixed on it, and there was tho greatest tenderness in his glance, as if he were sorry for her, and yet loved her, "Ho thinks, I suppose." said Pollv to her iltcr ego, "that this is the first time 1 ever had any thing nice, and ho is sorry for me." And then she half wished she had not worn it. ' 'Are you very fond of dress ?" she in quired, presently. x es, -very ; that is, I like a woman properly and handsomely dressed, as I wi.nt .my wife to be" (here Polly's hand her ungloved hand got the least possible little squeeze); "but what I cere for more is a sweet, lovely, bravo spirit which rises above criticism, and is true enough and well-bred enouch to look beautiful and be happy in spite cf the garb." But, indeed," said the guilty Polly, "sometimes it is so hard to be that; sometimes one wants things, so one yields to the temptation. You must not be too hard on people if they do not dress- according to your ideas," she added, with tears in her big brown eves. "I hard on you ?" cried Jerry it was ia the moonlight, and they were driv ing down a lane of flaming chestnuts "I hard ? I just love and admire you for it. 1 think you are the prettiest. fc !,,- : .i, . i.i. i i wia o,i ;mt iewels and fine raiment, just to pay you back for all your brav J ery. Uli, I'olly, 1 love you!" There! Miss Miverton and Mr. Ren nolds ocenpied back seats; they both looked engrossed in each other. What Polly said I don't know something h:it -wn'sntiorLr-torv trv the (invef. ' V.., ""srry !" nho cried, ' it isn't ,1 you love; it's my bonnet, and you have no idea what I sacrificed to get it. I spent all my allowance. I was the most extravagant creature ; I got angry with all my sister3, even mamma and papa. Now you have loved me and told me so just because of it, I will take it off," she cried, in a passion. "I will never wear it again." She seized the structure with both hands it fell into her lap. Oh, careless, absent-minded Polly! Where were your senses ! Stupidly she gazed one moment at the dreadful ob ject. It was her wretched, ragged, withered, limp, disreputable old hat, and her beautiful one of laces and roses was lying in the bandbox on her own bed. The Archdeaconess didn't like the match 'at all, of course, but sho was heard to congratulate herself that Jerry's wife was an economical little thing, and wouldn't throw away his money. "You remember "that horrid little straw bonnet she wore to the- polo match, don't you, Sue ?" she asked of Miss Miverton, who was Miss Miverton still. Miss Miverton remembered. "One thing I will never do," said Polly to her husband during the honey moon. "What ?" ho asked, with the insatiato curiosity of a weak-minded bride groom. "I will never have an allowance ttoaux " And she never did. Got His Breakfast. ctmious stout of the PERSISTENCY OF A DAUNTLESS FOX. A curious story of a fox's temerity and persistence in the persuit of prey is re ported from the farm of William Bunnell, who lives on the hill back of Big Canon, on the line of the Lycoming Valley and Pine Creek Railroad. Like all the lo calities in Kortheastern Pennsylvania that neighborhood has suffered greatly this Winter by the raids of foxes on tho pou'try yards of farmers. Bunnell's flock of chickens hr.d' been reduced to onrj hct althnirh. traps 61" all sorts of devices had LeJu tried to" foil tho raids of the foxes. A"few days ago Bunnell "Vent to a neighbor's to join hirn in a fox hunt which had been made up for that day, taking his dog with him. He had been gone but a few minutes when a big fox came into the door yard, where tho last member of Bunnell's flock of poul try was feeding, and chased her paa Mrs. Bunnell who was boiling soap a the back of the house, and into the house through the open kitchen door. Mrs. Bunnell ran after the fox, carry ing a clothes pounder as a weapon. The hen ran up stairs and into a bedroom, and hid under a bed. The fox followed, and when Mrs. Bunnell reached the top of the stairs the fox was coming out of tho bedroom with the hen flung over his shoulder. Mrs. Bunnell struck at him with the clothes pounder, and the fox retreated into the bedroom and went under the bed, where he leisurely pro ceeded to make his breakfast off tho hen. Mrs. Bunnell made him a prisoner by closing the door, and then ran to the neighbors, reaching there before her husband and the rest had started away on the hunt. She told tho story of the hea and the fox, and th'1 hunters return ed with Mrs. Bunnell to have some sport with Iteynnrd. When they arrived at Bunnells they found that the fox had jumped through a window pane in tho room and escaped. Big tufts of his fur were fast to the jagged edges of the broken glass, and a trail of blood lead ing away from where the fox had land ed in tho snow showed that he hud not got away with a whole skin. Tho trail was followed four miles. Then the fox took refuge in a crevice in somo rocks. 1 lo was routed out, and the dogs soon killed him. Paintino. A New York arti.st was recently visited by a lady friend. Tho artist was paintingan angel. "Why do you always paint your angels with dark hair and black eyes " asked she. ''My wife is a blonde. " THURSDAY, MARCH 11, 1886. TIED, GAGGED AND HANGED. Bliss Aldridge Tells How It Feels to be Suspended from el Tree. Miss Georgia Aldridge, the victim of an atrocious assault at the hands of an unknown ruffian, in Windsor, 111., .who attempted to take her life by twice hanging her, is considerably worse, and fears are now entertained that she will not recover. The relapse is due to the great number of visitors at tho house. They were not admitted to the room, but she knew that they were at the house and could hear them. Her state ment of the outrage, obtained as soon as she had recovered sufficiently to tell it, is as follows : "I had been sitting alone reading and sewing in my room all the evening up to about 8.S0 o'clock, when I heard an unusual noise in the kitchen. I was frightened, but tried to calm myself with the thought that it was the cat. In a few minutes tho noi.e ceased, but there seemed to bo a disturbance at the barn. Thinking that the cow had got into the corn crib I summoned courage enough to start out to the barn to put matters right. I had only reached the door when a man stepped up behind me, threw a shawl over my head and threw me to the ground. I cried for help, but he thrust mud into my mouth. Not being able to stifle my cries by that means, ho thrust a corncob : down my throat and bound it to its place with my veil, which I had thiown over my head. Occasionally he would speak to mo in language I dare not repeat, but all the lime ho spoke in a whisper, so that I could not possibly recoguize his voice. "I did not see his face and only have an idea of his size. He was a big man. He then bound my hands and tied the heavy bricks to them. Up to this time I was conscious, but unable to make an alarm because of the gag, and so badly scared as to bo unable to successfully re sist the fiend's powerful arms. He had been drinking, for I could smell whiskey on his breath. I seem to remember that while I was hanging he was in the house doing something I don't know what. The string broke, and I fell to the ground on the pile of bricks beneath the tree. He came back and hung mo up for the second time. How long I was suspended I don't know. T can re member my brother coming whistling along by tho tree and his cutting me down. I think that tho man must have run away when he heard the whistling. I could not speak. It seems all like a horrible dream to me now. Thank God, the worst is all over now, and that the villain failed in his purposes." The young lady still suffers great bodily pain. There seems to havo been a blow upon the head, and when she fell sho received some ugly bruises. She also has pain in her chest. There have been no arrests made as yet. The letter which the bruto wrote and left on the room floor may prove an im portant cluo. It is now in the hands of experts" who believe they can identify the writer. The town and county authorities will offer a 6uitablo reward. The Governor will also bo requested to offer a reward. A singular unfortunate incident fol lows tho outrasjo. Tho wife of a near neighbor heard Alias Aldridge's cry of distress. Bhe was f ri-htenetl bo badly that sne swooned away audiabceu out of her mind most of tho timo since. He condition is considered critical. How He Got Out of n Gum Log'. Tho Chambersburg Herald says : It was in the far West. The village was a county seat, and all political speeches were made at the Court House. The clans -were gathered early in the even ing, for it was to be a great night for tho politicians. The Republicans, Dem ocrats, and Greenbackers were holding a joint meeting to discuss political is sues. Gov. Woodson was running on one ticket for re-election, and John Stokes spoke for him. Said he : "Fellow Citizens: I stand here with in view of tho classic shades of Wash ington and Jefferson to proclaim tho virtues of Gov. Woodson." When he had finished a grandiloquent speech with this beginning, he was fol lowed by old man Allen, who spoke in a humorous vein and in a squeaky tone of voice: "Kow, gentlemen, I am not any further from the shades of Jefferson than Stokes is, but I know more about Gov. Woodson. Kow, to be honest, old Woodson saved my life once, but I don't thank him for it a bit. It hap pened in this way: I went a huntin' and took a fine English twist, double barrel shotgun with mo. It began to rain and I was afraid that gun would be ruined by ru6t, so I crawled into a hollow gum log with the gun. The log got wet and began to swell, so I was wedged in. I couldn't get out. I be- f an to think of death and eternity, lorror of horrors, thought I. To die this way is shameful ; but the grim mon ster stared me in the face. I began to think of all tho acts of my past life, of the crimes of boyhood days, the errors of after years. I saw my poor old mother's face, and her dying words rang in my cars. I thought of how I had wronged her by voting for old Wood son, and I felt so mean that I shrunk up to the size of a mouse and crawled out of the log. That is true, gentlemen, and I'll never vote for Woodson." Jock was all Kigrlit. A canny Lowland farmer, of a miserly disposition, went to a fair to hire a farm servant; and, peering about him, he observed a tall, well-grown lad, with a vacant expression of countenance. Him ho accosted, and found that "Jock," as he called himself, was an "innDcent" half-witted. Tho farmer, thinking that this was a good opportu nity for picking up a strong fellow, who would take low wages and not quarrel with tho very plain fare of his kitchen, questioned him, and, finding that he was used to farm work, engaged him. Then, remembering that he knew noth ing of the youth's character, he added: "But I mauu hao your character, yo ken, Jock. I engage no man without a character Can ye bring me ane frae yer last maister?" "On, ay," returned Jock; and it was agreed that he was to bring the required document to the Sun Inn, "where tho farmer intended to dine, at one o'clock. At one o'clock, punc tually, Jock arrived at the Hun, and with some difficulty made his way into the room where the farmers' ordinary was being held. "Weel, 111a laud, have vou got your character?" asked the farmer. ' Ka! but I've got yours; an I'm no comin'!" cried .lock, as he bolted from the room, amid the roars of the assembled company. A Sad Affaib. Johnson Polsue, aged thirty-eight, was a freight con ductor of the Philadelphia and Reading Railroad. While at Green Ridge some time ago he attempted to make a coup ling, but before the cars caine together his foot caught in a switch frog. Being unable to release it, ho sat down upon the track, and seizing the foot with both hands, endeavored to wrench it loose. Whllo in this position tho wheel of the car struck him, cutting his foot and both hands off. It was thought ho would recover, but blood-poisoning setting iii, he died. THE JOKERS' BUDGET. ODDS AND ENDS OATHERED FOR AN HOUR'S A3IUSE.HENT. Dots and Dashes A Kick Htorv-IIo was too Tlionehtfiil Plantation Philosophy, Etc., Etc. THE FASHIONS. Mrs. Col. Percy Yerger was regally clad in black velvet. The dress was a princess, with round court train. The corsage was square, and she wore a necklace of diamonds and turquoises, with a large pendant solitaire. At head and shoulders were bunches of ostrich feathers, silvered, and clus ters of diamonds fastened the bows of ribbon velvet on the shoulder. She created much devastation among the asperges au huerre and pickles, having previously hidden away under her cor sage five pot its pates a la Parinenne. She got stalled on her third plate of sauer kraut. Mrs. Yerger didn't do justice to herself on this occsaion. . Sho was not well. She suddenly rallied and toyed with the Charlotte Russe, but it was evident she had lost her grip. HIGH -PB ICED LUXURIES. A gentleman on his way up town stepped into a Broadway grocery and asked the price of a box of strawberries displayed in the window. "My wife is sick," he explained to a friend who was with him, "and a few of those berries would do her good." "Five dollars," was the grocer's dic tum. "Five dollars!" he exclaimed, push ing them away, "it would be wicked to pay that much for a few strawberries." "Sorry, sir," said the grocer, "any thing else, sir ?" "What are Rcina Victorias worth ?" "Seventeen dollars, sir; shall I send you a box ?" "Yes, you may as well." DESERVED TO LOSE. "Well, there's a green one," said Colonel J. W. Bunn, looking up from his morning paper vesterday. "Who ? What f" asked Major C. W. Day, his room male. "Why a Kew York man called 'Johnny' has been betting $20,000 against a hat with some of the alder men of that city that they would not dare to vote for tho Broadway railway franchise." "Did he lose?" asked the innocent major. "Of course ho did. He might have known he would. Serves him right, too, for giving such odds." Chicago Nctcs. PLANTATION PHILOSOPHY. De hours o1 sin is fast; do hours o' hard wuck is slow. Chillun tells lies nachully, but yer has to l'arn 'em how ter tell de truf. De hardes' thing fur er father ter recolleck is dat ho wuz once er chile. Pussons whut forgit slow ginerally knows mo' den pussons whut l'arns fast. Er man whut likes er song jes' 'ca'se it is hard ter sing doan know ez much er bout music ez he do cr bout sci'neo. When er big man gits cr back set it's wus ou him den it woul' be on any udor pusson. Do rooster -wid de fines' comb looks do wust -when ho gits frostbit. - Jlj'kan miio Traveller. A srcK BTonr. "Tell mo a story," said the small boy. jumping into his big sister's bed one of the late cold mornings. "Oh, I can't, I'm sick," she said. "Well, I'll tell you one," he offered, genially. "I don't want to hear it," she answered sleepily; "I'm sick I tell you." A smile of the most engaging sort broke over the small boy's face. lie bolstered his cheek into his hand and his elbow into his sister's pillow and said : "I'm awful sorry. I'll tell you a sick story." Boston Record. A CURIOUS PHENOMENON. fM Mra -Rprininrrton The naner sava 0 1 1 that two whales, a cow and a calf, was seen floatin' off Amagansett shores last week. Old Mr. Bennington Well, that's all right, ain't it ? Old Mrs. Bennington It's all right about tho whales, of course, but I don't see how tho cow and calf got out there. SO LITTLE. Miss A. What, Carrie! going into town again Miss B. Yes; I bought a dress pat tern last week, and when my dressmaker came to cut it up, she found I had only enough for the 6kirt. So I am going to get an eighth of a yard for the waist. Miss Scissorsnip says it will be more than ample, but I'm bound to have enough. I hate to scrimp, you know. Boston Transcript. FRIGHTFUL ORDEAL TO PASS. Charlie (striding up and down) It's terrible terrible. I owe money and can't pay it. Jack Why not let the other fellow walk, Charlie ? Charlie Let the other fellow walk ? I wish it was gomo other fellow, but it ain't. It's an Irish washerwoman, and she'll be hero in ten minutes. N. Y. Times. A STAR. "I wish I were yon star," he said, dreamily. "So do I," she returned promptly, heroically swallowing a yawn. "And why, dear one ?" he asked im pulsively, "why do you wish I were yon brilliant orb ?" "Because," sho replied in cold, matter-of-fact Bostonese tones, "because your brilliant orb is just 11,700,971 miles away." And he faded silently out like a mist before a summer's sun. New Huoeii News. TOO THANKFUL. The squire of an English hamlet had just bestowed alms upon a village men dicant. "May tho Lord give your soul a place in heaven !" exclaimed the grate ful beggar. "Thank ye, Thomas, thank ye," said the squire. Encouraged by this appreciation, tho beggar went on fervently, "May lie give" it a place in heaven ay, this very night." "Hold! Thomas," said the alarmed squire; "you needn't have been so particular to name the date." BaptU WeAiy. GOOD NEWS FOR BENEDICTS. "I see Edison, the inventor, is going to be married." "Is he? Good! I'm glad of that." "What interest have you in it ?" "Well, you see, I've been afraid he would invent some confounded electric contrivance by which a woman could tell just how long her husband carried her letters in his pockets or some foolish thing of that sort. But, of course, if he's going to be married ." Chicago Neics. DISTRESSING INTELLIGENCE. "Is Jim Bullard Langin' 'round these parts nowadays ?" asked a passenger from a car window of a Dakota citizen. "Jim was hangin' 'round last week, stranger." "Did you sec him ?" "Oh, yes. I had hold of the rope." N. Y. Htm. A SOCIALISTIC) TWIST. "I've chosen my three acres next to tho parsons. I mean to go and grow 'tatcrs. Where 'avo you chosrf yours ?" Harry "I ain't chose no land. I shan't grow no 'taters. I shall take your 'tatcrs. Graphic. 1. TERMS 81.50. THE OUTLOOK WAS GOOD. Miss Joy Madam, Mr. Foster has come to take me out for a drive ; may I go, Madam ? Madam You know, Miss Joy, the rules of Vassar do not allow it unless you are engaged. Are you engaged to Mr. Foster ?" Miss Joy (doubtfully) N Ko, but if you let me go, I shall be by tho time we get back.-Ztfe. DOTS AND DASHES. There is one thing to be said in favor of coasters. They don't want the earth. "All men are born free and equal." but the difficulty is that somo are born equal to half a dozen others. It don't matter how much benevol ence a man professes, unless he puts cshes on his sidewalk in icy weather. A teacher in one of our schools asked the class which was tho longest day of the year, and promptly got the answer: "Sunday." -.There -is some appropriateness in speaking of a lady's bonnet as "just killing" in these days. It is chiefly made up of dead birds. It is some satisfaction to argue with the man who ows a grab mortgage on your homestead. He is always ready to accept your premises. Bhb knowS by the ring 'tis surely he, 80 down to the door she bounds with ffleej But her heart is sad, and she hears with scoff, "Don't you want your sidewalk shoveled off?" A correspondent wants to know if it is proper to urge a young lady to sing at an evening gathering after sho has refused once. It is proper to urge a little, but not too much, lest she should change her mind. Little Mamie Fizzletop comes crying to her mother. "What's the matter, Mamie?" "Johnny boxed my ears." "Why didn't you give it back to him ?" "I can't ma. I gave it back to him al ready before he hit me." Puck would have raised numbers on front doors, so that men who stay out late may have no difficulty in finding their own houses. The idea is not new, but it is dangerous. Many a man has got into trouble by raised figures. "Father," asked little Johnny, "why is it that they always begin the legisla tive sessions with prayer ?" "I don't know, my sou," replied the father, "un less it is to sort o' blind the eyes of the Lord as to what is done after the prayer is ended." A clever Albany girl who was at Ridgefield the othor night was asked what her sensations were when she shot down the toboggan chute for tbo first timo. "It was delightful," she ex claimed enthusiastically; "I thought I was dying." Young Actor: "Have you been down to seo me act lately, old boy ?" Friend : "No; too poor." Young Actor: "Non sense. W hy, you spenu enougtt money for cigars in a week to buy a dozen tickets." Friend: "Oh, I don't mean I'm too poor. You're too poor." Magisthatr: "What is the rilea of the prisoner at tho bar, charcred with being implicated in the Hoberts safo I robbery J" Prisoner: "I beg to stato, your Honor, tlint 1 was not tliero, but simply as a tool for tho others." rria oncr's Counsel: "I would explain to tho Court that my client's name is Jimmy." They tell in Louisville of a citizen of that town who came to New 1 ork recently and lived in ono of the most expensive hotels. He stayed four days and asked for his bill. "Fifty-one dol larn," said the clerk. "Guess again," said the Kentuckian. "You haven't sized my pile yet. I've more money than that." HOW TO RUN A UNIYEESE. Why Some Things tthould Not be as well as Others. Mr. Burdette remarks: "My son, there are just two things in this world that I don't know about, and you havo just asked me about one of them. I don't know why there ia trouble and sorrow and toil and poverty and sickness and death in this beautiful world. I used to know, when I was much younger, but I find that as I grow older I don't know a great deal more than I used to know. I don't know why the best people seem to have all the suffering and the great sinners have all the fun. I don't know why innocent men suffer for the wickedness of guilty men. I don't know whv tho man who cast the faulty column in Pemberton Mills wasn't crushed when the mills went down. I can't see why my neck should be broken in a railway accident because strain dispatcher sends out a wrong order or a signal man goes to sleep. I don't see why my neighbor should be cursed -with ill health and suffering just because his grandfather was a rollicking, hard-drinking old profligate. I don't see why I should have neuralgia just when I want to feel at my best. I don't know the reason why some people starve while worse people feast. Well, you say, wouldn't it be pleasanter if all these crooked things were straightened out? Yes, oh, yes! And wouldn't I run things a little bet ter if I had the running of tliem? Y'e e hold on a minuto ye I lon't know, really, that I want to try. There aro several things to consider, when you sit down to run a universe. True, if I managed things, I could make teveral improvements at once. I would never again have the neuralgia, for one thing; my boots would not run over at the heels like an italic d; my pantaloons would not workup, nor bag at the knees, and my collars would not climb the back of my neck, and my mustacho wouldn't keep waxed like a bristle at one end and out like a satin ribbon at the other, and but there are some things to look after. Tho little matter of day and niyht I think I might manage for a week, may be, but there would be an eclipse or two to look after, with occasional rain, some snow, a late spring or an early autumn or a capricious har vest time to manage; there are certain movements of the suu and other planets that have rather delicate relations with the earth come to think of it, my boy, I have never yet been able to control my own personal neuralgia. Now, you aro very kind, but I will most respectfully decline the appointment. I find on look ing into tho varied and trying duties connected with the office that my bodily and. mental strength would not stand the great tax that would bo laid upon them. While I am in the heartiest accord with the Administration, and wish to give it, and to the extent of my poor ability do give it my most earnest support and encouragement, yet I much prefer to do this in my capacity as a privato citizen." Stuck Together. Mr. Alma Hill, of Bronwood, Ga.. has about 200 head of sheep on his place and a good many cockle burs. Ono day ho was in the field and saw fifteen sheep side by side, their heads all pointing the same way, looking as if out for a drill. He yelled at them to move, and the whole gang moved at once. It was some time be fore he ascertained that tho burs had got into their wool and they were stuck together. ONE NEW SOUTHERN TYPE A SUCCESSFUL YOUITO GEOEGIA FARMER'S METHODS. He Shows How the Earth will Prove a Gold Mlno to the Man who Works It WelL ; Mr. Robert Rood is a young farmer. Tbin, browned, all fiber, slow but easy of motion, self reliant and independent- he is a fine type of the young Southern farmer. "The earth is a gold mine," he says, "to any man that works it diligently." It certainly has proved to be one to Mr. Rood. In seven years he has made) over $40,000 in farming not by specu latingfor he has lost 10,000 by that method, but by the patient tilling of the) earth, and the slow transmitting of sun shine, rain, and sweat into corn and Cot ton. The story of his work is signifi cant, and it may be improving, so here it is in paragraphs, coaxed from his own lips. "My father said to mo about seven years ago: 'My son, I'm going to die, and I leave $0,000 in honest debts that you must pay.' In six weeks he was dead, and I took the plantation in Stewart county on . the Chattahoo chee river. I mortgaged tho place) for $4,000 and went to work. The first lesson I learned was economy. I darned my own socks and patched my clothes as they wore out. W hen I went to Eufaula I put a biscuit in my pocket, and when I got to town tied my horse to a rack and saved hotel bill. I ran a plow myself, leading the way for my hands. At night I lit up the forge andi did my own blacksmithing, learning as I went. I never left my farm a day, and slept only six hours a night." "That must have brought success?" "Of course it did, as it would hava brought it in any other business. In two years I had paid my debt and had money in bank. I have made in actual money over $40,000. This is my poorest year, and yet I will clear over $J,500. I would . not give any man $. to guarantee mil $3,000 a year on my ten-mule farm for the next ten years. Farming is the safe est business a man can engage in, if ho goes at it right. "Wliat are the rules by which you work?" "First, I raise my own provisions. I havo 1,000 bushels of corn, 1,100 bush els of oats, 800 bushels of peas, and 400 gallons of syrup now for sale. I raise much of my own meat, and would raiso it all except that my climate is too warm to cure it. I never saw a man who did not rnice his own corn that made money on cot ton. I never saw a corn-raiser that wasn't a prosperous farmer. You can often figure out that you can buy corn cheaper than you can raise but that ia only on paper. Corn-raisers prosper the others fail. My cotton crop ia always a cash surplus. I make my other crops carry the farm. "Next to raising my own corn, I count personal attention to my business. I sow every bushel of oats myself, because I never found a hand that could do it right. This fall I worked eleven hours a "day with a three-peck basket on my arm and. sowed oats ahead of twelve plows, till tho ends of my fingers were bleeding. In making syrup I got along with four hours of sleep in twenty-four, and the result is perfect syrup. I super intend every detail of my farming as this. Every backstrap of my harness has a bag of moss sewed under the leather to pro tect the mule's back. Thread wouldn't do for that sort of sewing, as it would rot. Iron wire wouldn't, for it would rust. So every pad is sewed with cop per wire. I never had a scald back or a piece of broken skin on a mule since I have been farming. Next to personal supervision is economy. Nothing is wasted on my farm. 1 have 120 tons of home-made) manure composted now, and one ton of composted manure is worth three tons 01 guano. JNot a liade ot grass is ournea on my place. That, with the refuse of my sugar cane even, is turned under and enriches the ground. It is small thintrs that make or ruin the farmer. My neigh. bora use two or three seta of plough-lines a year mine last me two or three years. Every mjrht 1 oil every vragon on .my place, using cotton oil. Onco a montrt I hnve every- axh cli'and and the oil rultcd oil". Tl'in nvs my wnonff. My stock and crops uro all protected tho same way. The jxorcst house on my place is the house I live in." " How about your labor 1" "Better than slaves. I pay them nino dollars a month, half in cash every Sat urday night, one ration, allow each hand a half acre for potatoes and an acre ror corn, and give them every Saturday after noon. They work because they know I know when they shirk. They began stealing from me. I slept on the ground every night for three weeks, bagged thrco of the thieves, and now lam safe. When they are well I make them work, and when they nre sick I give them medicine from my own hand. In short, they know I watch them and they work." "You find tho life a happy one?" "The freest, happiest, most independ ent life in the world. I have not been sick a day in eleven years. When I lie down I sleep. I ask no man any odds. My broad acres arc there and they are ex haustless. The best bank a farmer can have is the land. Every dollar he puts there is safe, and will pay him interest and principal. Many farmers sell their cotton seed. That is robbing their land. I buy cotton seed, for with phosphate and stable manure it makes the best fertilizer. The farmer is the one independent man." " I cannot understand," Mr. Rood went on to say, " why a young fellow will stay in the city and clerk at a small salary with no future, when a farmer's life is open to him. No man could havo had a much worse start than I did. Now, in spite of markets, weather, or any thing else, I can live a freeman's life, with health, open air, exercise, and at the end of every year put from $3,000 to $3,000 in bank. This is not chance. It is certainty. And there is nothing in me except hard work, attention, and a little common sense. If fifty young clerks were to go to Stewart county and farm as I do, each one would reaeh the same result. It is no experiment. It is the most certain of certain things." And away the young farmers went with a gang of friends who had called for him. Why may not he prove to be a type ? There is plenty of laud and moro to come. Mr. Rood started with 2,000 acres, which he has already cut down to 1,200. He contracts his arable land onco every year. "Intensive farming," says he, "is the policy of the future. Thcro is one crv under which the South can command the situation. That is " a bale to the acre, full corncribs, a big compost heap nnd a homo on a farm I" Frankly now hasn't this broad-shouldered young farmer, with his stocl-like sinews, his un troubled sleep, come nearer to solving the problem than those of us who, aim ing at glittering heights, are fighting and stumbling along the uneven way? Atlanta (Oa.) Constitution. One Thing Lacking. She'd a great and varied knowledge, picks 1 up at a fomalo collojra, of quadradtica, hydrostatics and pneumatica very vast. She was stuffed with erudition as you stufT a leather cushion, all the ologien of the colleges and the knowledges of tho past She had studied with the old lexicons of Pe ruvians and Mexicans, their theology, aiitliniology and geology o'er and o er, , She knew all the forms ami features of tha prehistoric creatures 1 -hthyosaurus plt'siosauraus megalosaurus and many mora. She'd describe the ancient Tuscans, and the ll;usiues and the Etruscans, their grid dles and their kettles and the victuals that they gnawed. She'd disruss-the learned charmer the the ology of Brahmnh, and the scandals of the vandals and tho sandals that they trod. She knew all the mighty giants and the mas ter minds of science, all tho learning that was turning in tho burning niind of man. But she couldn't prepare a dinner for a gaunt and hungry sinner, or get up a decent supper for her poor voracious papa, for she never was constructed on the oldt domestic plan. Lu nn Union. The Wise Merchant in Hani Times. When times are hard aud trade is dull The merchant then who wise is Doth not sit down to scratch his skull, While ho a scheme devises His trusting creditors to gull, llut straight wav advertises; Then conies a sudden Ixwmi to trade. And, presto I change) his fortune's made. Boston, Courier.