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Tbe Doctor's fjilemraa
By Hesba : CLIAFTER II.-(CoBlinufJ. A little crmubllnf path led round the rock nu J along the edge of the ravine. I rheao It because from it I could ace all the fantastic shore, bending In a semi circle toward the lale of Breckhou, with tiny, untrodden buys, covered at tills hour with only glittering ripples, and with all the soft and tender shadows of the head lands falling across them. I was Just giving my last loolc to thrra when the loose atones on the crumbling path gave way under my tread, and be fore I could recover my foothold I found myself slipping down the almost perpen dicular face of the cliff, and vainly clutching at every bramble and tuft of grasa growing in ita clefts. I Innded with a shock far below, and for some time lay Insensible. A nearly at I could make out, It would he high water In about two hours. Tardlf had t off at low water, but before starting he had said something about returning at high tide, and running up hia boat on the beach of our little bay. If he did that he must pans close by me. It was Hat urduy morning, and he was In the hublt of returning early on Saturdays, that he might prepare for the sen-Ices of the next day. At last whether years or hours only had gone by, I could not then have told you I heard the regular and careful beat of oars upon the water, and presently the grating of a boat'a keel upon the shin gle. I could not turn round or raise my head, but I was sure It was Tardlf. "Tardif!" 1 cried, attempting to ehoiit, but my voice sounded very weak In my own ears, and the other sounds about me seemed very loud. lie paused then, and stood quite still, listening. I ran the fingers of my right hand through the loose pebbles about me, and his ear caught the slight noise. In moment I heard bis atrong feet coming cross them towards me. "Mam'zelle," he exclaimed, "what has happened you?" I tried to smile as his honest, brown face bent over me, full of alarm. It was so great a relief to see a face like bis after that long, weary agony. "I've fallen down the clifT," I said feebly, "and I am hurt." The strong man shook, and his hund trembled as he stooped down and laid It under my head to lift It up a little. His agitation touched me to the heart. "Tardif," I whispered, "it is not very much, and I might have been killed. I think my foot Is hurt, nnd I am quite sure my arm Is broken." He lifted me in his arms as easily and tenderly as a mother lifts up her child, and carried me gently up the steep slope which led homewards. It seemed a long time before we reached the farmyurd gate, and he shouted, with a tremendous voice, to bis mother to come and open It. Never, never shall I forget that night. I could not sleep; but I suppose my mind wandered a little. Hundreds of times 1 felt myself down on the shore, lying help less. Then I was back again in my own home in Adelaide, on my father's sheep farm, and he was still alive, and with no thought but how to make everything bright and gladsome for me; and hun dreds of times I saw the woman who was afterward to be my stepmother, stealing up to the door and trying to get In to hi in and me. Twice Tardif brought mo a cup of tea, freshly made. I waii very glad when the first gleam of daylight shone into my room. It seemed to bring clearness to my bruin. "Mam'zelle," said Tardif, coming to my side, "I am going to fetch a doctor." "But it Is Sunday," 1 answered faint ly. I knew that no boatman put out to sea willingly on a Sunday from Surk; and the last fatal accident, being on a Hun day, had deepened their reluctance. "It will be right, mam'zelle," he an swered, with glowing eyes. "I have no fear." "Do not be long away, Tardif," I anid, sobbing. "Not one moment longer than I can help," he replied. CHAPTER III, I, Martin Dobree, come into the Grange, belonged to Julia; and fully half of the year's household expenses were de frayed by her. Our uructlce. which he story to tell my remarkable share in its events. Marl in, or Doctor Martin, I was called throughout (itierusuy. My father was Dr. Dobree. He belonged to one of the oldest families in the Island, but our brunch of it had been growing poorer in stead of richer during tho last three or four generations. We had been gravi tating steadily downwards. My father lived ostensibly by his pro fession, but actually upon the income of my cousin, Julia Dobree, who had been his ward from her childhood. The house we dwelt In, a pleasant one in the aud I shared between us, was not a large one, though for Its extent it wiia lucrative enough. But there always is an immense number of medical men in Guernsey in proportion to Its population, and the island is healthy. There wai eiiiull chance for any of us to make a, fort uue. My engagement to Julia came about so easily and naturally that I was perfect ly contented with It. We had been en-, gaged siuce Christmas, and were to be married In the early summer. We were to set up housekeeping for ourselves; that was a point Julia was bent upon. A suitable house had fallen vacant in one of the higher streets of St. Peter-port, which commanded a noble view ef "the sea and the surrounding islands. We had taken it, though it was farther from the (range aud my mother than I should have chosen my home to be. She and Julia were busy, pleasantly busy, about the furnishing. That was about the middle of March. I hud been to churth one Sunday morning with these two women, both devoted to me and centering all their love and hopes in me, wora, as we enierea tue nouse on my return. I heard my father casing "Martin' Martin!" as loudly as he could from his consulting room. I answered the call Instantly, and who, should I see but a very old 'triend of mine. Tar dif, of the Havre Gosselln. His hand some but weather-beaten face betrayea great anxiety. My father looked cha grined and Irresolute. " "Here's a pretty piece of work, Mar tin," he said; "Tardlf wants one of us to go back with him to Sark, to see a woman who has fallen from the cliffs and broken &er arm, confound it!" "Dr. Martin," cried Tardif excitedly. "I beg of you to come this instant evtfa. She has been lying in anguish since mid day yesterday twenty-four hours now, sir. I started at dawn this morning, but both wind and tide were against me, and I have been waiting here some time, lie quick, doctor! If she should be dead!" $ :: Stretton The poor fellow's voice faltered, and his eyes met mine Imploringly. II and 1 had been fast friends In ray boyhood, and our friendship was stilt firm and true. I shook his hand heartily grip which he returned with his Sogers ef Iron till my own tingled again. "I knew you'd come," he gasped. "Ah, I'll go, Tardlf," I said; "only I must get a snatch of something to eat while Dr. Dobree puts up what I shall have need of. I'll be ready in half an hour." The tide was with us, and carried us over buoyantly. We anchored at the fisherman's landing place below the cliff of the Havre Gosselln, and I climbed readily up the rough ladder which leads to the path. Tardif made bis boat se cure, and followed me; he passed me, and strode on up the steep track to the summit of the cliff, as If Impatient to reach his home. It was then that 1 gave my first serious thought to the wom an who had met with the accident. "Tardif, who is this person that Is hurt?" I asked, "and whereabout did she fall?" "She fell down yonder," he answered, with an odd quaver in his voice, as he pointed to a rough and rather high por tion of the cliff running inland; "the stones rolled from under her feet bo," he added, crushing down a quantity of the loose gravel with his foot, "and she slip ped. She lay on the shingl underneath for two hours before I found her two hours, Dr. Martin!" Tardlf's mother came to us as we en tered the house. She beckoned me to follow her Into an inner room. It. was small, with a celling- so low, It seemed to rest upon the four posts of the bed- HE PAUSED THEN." stead. There were of course none of the little daiuty luxuries about it, with which I was familiar In my mother's bedroom. A long low window opposite the head of the bed threw a strong light upon It. There were check curtains drawn round It, and a patchwork quilt, and rough, homo-spun linen. Everything was clean, but coarse and frugal, such as I expected to find about my Sark patient, in the home of a fisherman. But when my eye fell upon the face resting on the rough pillow I paused in voluntarily, only just controlling an ex clamation of surprise. There was abso lutely nothing In tbe surroundings to mark her as a ludy, yet I felt In a mo ment that she was one. There lay a deli cate refined face, white as the linen, with beautiful ilps almost as white; and a mass of light, slijuiug silky hair tossed about the pillow; and large dark gray eyes gazing at me beseechingly, with an expression that made my heart leap as It had never leapt before. That was what I saw, and could not forbear seeing. I tried to close my eyes to the pathetic beauty of tho face before me; but It was altogether In vain. If I had seen her before, or If I had been prepared to see any one like her, I might have succeeded; but 1 waB completely thrown oil my guard. There the charm- Ing face lay; the eyes gleaming, the white forehead tinted, and the delicate mouth contracting with pain; the bright silky curls tossed about in cou fusion. I ire it now, just as I saw It then. CHAPTER IV. I suppose I did not stand still more than five seconds, yet during that peuse a host of questions had flushed through my brain. Who was this beautiful crea ture? Where had she come from? How did it happen that she was In Tardlf's house? and so on. But I recalled myself sharply to my senses; I was here as her physician, and common sense and duty deuinnded of me to keep my head clear. I advanced to her Hide and took the small, blue-veined band into mine, and felt her pulse with my fingers. "You are in very great pain, I fear," I said, lowering my voice. "Yes," her white lips answered, and she tried to smile a patient though a dreary Bmile, as she looked up into my face; "my arm Is broken. Are you a doctor?" "I am Dr. Martin Dobree," I said, passing my hand softly down her arm. The fracture was above the elbow, and was of a kind to make the setting of It give her sharp, acute pain. I could see she was scarcely fit to bear any further suffering just then: but what was to lie done? She was not likely to get much rest till the bone was set. "Did you ever take chloroform?" 1 asked. "No; I never needed it," she answered. "Should you object to taking it?" "Anything," she replied passively. "I will do anything you wish." I went back into the kitchen and open ed the portmanteau my father had put up for me. Splints and bandages wero there in abundance, enough to set half the arms In the island, but neither chlo roform nor anything in the shape of an opiate could I find. I might almost as well Gave come to Sark altogether un prepared for my case. I stood for a few minutes, deep In thought. The daylight was going, and it was useless to waste time; yet I found myself shrinking oddly from the duty be fore me. Tardlf could not help but see my chagrin and hesitation. "Doctor," he cried, "she is not going to die?" No, no," I answered, calling back my wandering thoughts aud energies; "there is not the smallest danger of that. I must go and set her arm at once, and then she will sleep." I returned to the room and raised her as gently and painlessly as I could. She moaned, though very softly, and she tried to smile again as her eyes me. mine look ing anxiously at her. That smile made me feel like child. If she did it again I knew my hands would be unsteady, and her pain be tenfold greater. "I would rather you cried out or eaene ed," i aid. "Don't try to control your self when I hurt you. You Bred not be afraid of aeeming Impatient, and a loud cream or two would do you good." I felt the ends of the broken bone grat ing together as I drew them into their right places, and the sensation went through and through me. 1 bail set scores of broken limbs before with no feeling like this, which was so near in: nervlug me. All the time the girl s white face and firmly set lips lay under mj guze, with the wide open, unflinching eyes looking straight at me; mournful, ilent, appealing face, which betrayed the puln I made her suffer ten times more than any cries or shrieks could have done. I smoothed the coarse pillows for her to lie more comfortably upon them, and I spread my cambric handkerchief In a double fold between her cheek and the rough linen too rough for .soft cheek like hers. "Lie quite still," I said. "Do not stir, but go to sleep as fast as you can." .Then 1 went out to Tardif. "The arm is set," I said, "and now slie must get some sleep. There Is not the least danger, only we will keep the house s quiet as possible." "I must go and bring In the boat," he replied, bestirring himself if some spell was at an end. "There will be a storm to-nlglit, and I should sleep the sounder If she was safe ashore." The feeble light entering by the door, which I left open, showed me the old woman comfortably asleep In her cbalr, but not so the girl. I hail told her when I laid her down that she must lie quite still, and she was obeying me implicitly. Her cheek still rested upon my hand kerchief, and the broken arm remained undisturbed upon the pillow which I had placed under It. Hut her eyes' were wide open and shilling in the dimness, and I faucid I could see her lips moving in cessantly, though soundlessly. The gale that Tardlf had foretold came with great violence about the middle of the night. The wiud howled up tbe long, narrow ravine like a pack of wolves; mighty storms of hail and rain beat in torrents against the windows, and the sea lifted up its voice with unmistakable energy. Now and again a stronger gust than the others appeared to threaten to carry off the thatched roof bodily, and 1 leave us exposed to the tempest with only the thick stone walls about us; and the latch of the outer door rattled as If some one was striving to enter. The westerly gule, rising every few hours Into a squall, gave me no chance of leaving Sark the next day, nor for some days afterwards; but 1 was not at all put out by my captivity. All my in terestsmy whole being in fact was ou- sorbeij In the caro of this girl, stranger as she was. I thought and moved, lived and breathed, only to tight step by step agalust delirium and death. There seemed to me to be no possibility of aid. Tbe stormy waters which beat gainst that little rock in the sea cumn swelling and rolling in from the vast plain of the Atluntli', and broke in tem pestuous surf against the island. Tar dif himself was kept a prisoner in (lie house, except wheu lie went to look after his live stock. No doubt it would have been practicable for me to get as far as the hotel, but to what good? It would be quite deserted, for there were no vis itors to Sark at this season. 1 was en tirely engrossed in my patient, and 1 learned for the first lime what their tusk is who hour after hour watch the pro gress of disease in the person of one dear to them. On the Tuesday afternoon, in a tem porary lull of the hail and wind, I start ed off on a walk across the island. The wind was still blowing from tho south west, and filling ail the narrow sea be tween ua and Guernsey with boiling surge. Very angry looked the masses of foam whirling about the sunken reefs, and very ominous the low-lying, hard blocks of clouds all along the horizon. I strolled as far as the Coupee, that giddy pathway between Great and Little Sark, where one can see the seething of the waves at the feet of the cliffs on both sides three hundred feet below one. Some thing like a panic seized me. My nerves were too far unstrung for me to venture across the long, narrow Isthmus. I turn ed abruptly again, and hurried as fast as my legs would carry me back to Tur difs cottage. I had been away less than an hour, but an advantage hnd been taken of my ab sence. I fould Tardif seated at the table, with a tangle of silky, shining hair lying before him. A tear or two hnd fallen upon it from his eyes. 1 understood at a glance what it meant. Mother Henouf, whom be had secured as a nurse, had cut off my patient's pretty curls as soon as 1 was out of the house. Tardlf's great hond caressed them tenderly, and 1 drevf out one long, glossy tresB and wound it about my fingers, with s heavy heart. "It is like the pretty feathers of a bird that has been wounded," said Tar dif sorrowfully. Just then there came a knock at the door and a sharp click of the latch, loud enough to penetrate dame Tardlf's deaf ears, or to arouse our patient, if she had been sleeping. Before either of us could move the door was thrust open and two young ladles appeared upon the door sill. They were it flashed across me in an instant old school fellows and friends of Julia's. I declare to you honestly 1 had scarcely had one thought of Julia till now. My mother I had wished for, to take her place by this poor girl's side, but Julia had hardly crossed my mind. Why, In heaven's name, should the appearauct of these friends of hers be so distusteful to nie just now? I had known them all my life, and liked them as well as any girls I knew; but at this moment th very sight of them was annoying. They stood in the doorway, as much as tonished and tniinderstrickcu as I was, glaring at me, so it seemed to me, with that soft, bright brown lock of hair curl ing and clinging round my finger. Never had I felt so foolish or guilty. (To be continued.) We do not wish to get into an argu ment with any woman over what her husband spends on himself, but did you ever know a man who had his pants mended who didn't have to go to bed while it was done, or have them mended while they were ou? DREYFUS CASE IN TATTOO. Feenes from the Trial Illustrated Upon a French Coachraan'a Ltodr. At least oio person lu Paris will never, us long a lie liven, forget tbe incidents of the Drey fun case, as lie is a walking pictorial history of that (.-Hunt celeliie. Some time ago lie was In one of tbe piinUlimeut companies lu Afrlcn, aud au artistic eouirado killed time by tat tooing hi in all over tils body and legs with uo less tlmu 120 illustrations of prominent scenes in the ease, including pot-traits of the leading personages con nected with It uud various allegorical aud emblematic devices as well. Bluck, blue, red nnd green colors have been employed, and the work lias been ex ecuted with much skill. One of tbe KurgcoiiK of bis regiment offered liltu 400 frnucg for bis skin, explaining that be could remove the surface without pain or risk nnd that a speedy recov ery would follow. The soldier, how ever, preferred to keep his hide and the sketches tattooed on It, aud therefore declined the offer. So, at least, lie avers, and the wonder ful success of the performance, which took ubout twenty months in the exe cution, is calculated to confirm the idea that the proposal niny really have been made. What may be styled the two "pieces de resistance" are to be found on tho back and on the portion of the body on the other side, which afforded the most space for the flights of the artist's genius. On the former the ter rible ceremony of degradation at the Ecole Mllltnlre Is graphically depicted. Three mouths were devoted to It, and it Is Buniiouuted by a number of alle gorical designs, with hosts of figures personating goddesses, among whom may be seen oue representing France, pointing out to the ill-fated captalu the distant He lu Dlable. The other ambitious production gives the spectacle of the court-martial by which Dreyfus was condemned. Above it, ou the left breast, a dagger pierces a heart, from which blood Is flowing, and on the other side Is beheld a ser pent in the act of strangling a man. The arms are chiefly dedicated to coun terfeit presentments of the generals whose names were so much before the public -Mercler, Billot, Zurllnden, De Boisdeffre, (louse and so on-and also to a portrait of the late President Felix Faure. Innumerable flags and other patriotic emblems garnish the thighs and legs, and there are other sketches as well. FASCINATING RUFUS CHOATE. Kneitilet a Well as Friend Influenced by Ilia Oratory. I heard Itufus Choate a great many times, writes Senator Hoar. I heard nearly all the speeches given in "Urown's Life;" and I heard him a great many times at the bar, both be fore juries and the full court. He is the only advocate I ever heard who had the Imperial power which would subdue an unwilling and hostile jury. His power over them seemed like the fas cination of a bird by a snake. Clioate's method was pure persuasion. He never appealed to base motives, nor tried to awake coarse prejudices or stormy passions. He Indulged in no In vectives. His wit and sarcasm aud ridi cule amused the victim almost as much as it amused the bystander. He had the suavi loijuentia which Cicero attributes to Cornelius. There was never a harsh note In his speech. He had a voice without any gruff yet shrill tones. It was like a sweet yet powerful (lute. He never strained it or seemed to exert It to Its fullest capacity. I do not know any other public speaker whose style resembled his lu the least. Perhaps Jeremy Taylor was his model, If lie had any model. The phraseology with which lie clothed some common place or mean thought or fact, when he was compelled to use commonplace ar guments or to tell some common story, kept his auditors ever alert aud expect nnt. An Irishman who had killed his wife threw away the ax with which the deed was done, when he heard some body coining. This, In Choate's lan guage, was "the sudden and frantic ejaculation of the ax." Indeed his speech was a perpetual surprise. Whether you liked him or disliked him you gave him your ears, erect and Intent. He used manuscript a great deal, even In speaking to juries. When a trial was on, lasting days or weeks, he kept pen, ink and paper at hand in his bedroom, and would often get up In the middle of the night to write down thoughts that came to him as he lay In bed. He was always careful to keep warm. It was said he prepared for a great jury argument by taking off eight greatcoats and drinking eight cups of green tea. Scrlbner's Magazine. An Artificial Man. A doctor has calculated how much It would cost to make an artificial man. He estimated that a pair of arms cost $90, or with the hands articulated cost about ?175; a pair of legs, also articu lated, cost about $140; n false nose In metal, from $80 to $100. For $130 he believes that he could get a pnlr of ears just like nature's handiwork, fitted with artificial ear drums and resona tors. A complete set of teeth, with pal ate In platinum, costs from $40 to $90, nnd for a good pair of artificial eyes about $30 would have to be paid. Thus the total cost of restoring a battered veteran who has lost most of his separ ate parts would be about $000. Change the Dictionaries. There Is a teacher In the Brooklyn public schools who has an Item of in formation she thinks may be of interest to lexicographers. This young woman has just been drilling a class of young hopefuls on the variations of the mas culine and feminine forms of nouns. Wow," said she, "who can give me the feminine of horseman?" Ip went the hand of an 11-year-old lad. "Well, what is it, Johnnie?" "Flease, ma'am," he answered, "ruarelady." Mall and Express. New Kansas City Factories. Kansas City, Mo., claims to have es tablished fifty new factories In 1900. It Is an event In a woman's life when she goes down town twice in the same (lav. Don't pay a high price for spoiling your children. OUR BUDGET OP FUN. HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND DO INGS HERE AND THERE. Joke and Jokcleta that Are Supposed to Have Been Keceutly Horn-Hay luu and Doing that Arc Old, Curious and Laughable) Tha Week's) llumor. "You cannot fall to note," said the French war expert, proudly, "that we are taking the lend in developing the balloon aud the automobile. Think of the races that have beeu held recently.' "That Is a wise precaution," returned the Yankee, "for thoso who anticipate that they may wnut to get away In a hurry, but It lacks Interest for those who look at the matter from another point of view." Chicago Post. The ltald-Mended Tyrant. Brown Well, did your baby enjoy the picnic? Jones I guess so; lie had five of his own family waiting on him all day besides all the outsiders he could drag In." Much the Hume. "My wife Is a woman of strong will power," said Goldthorpe. "My wife Is a woman of great won't power," added Pickers. I.lfe-Suvlnit Liertlon. "Don't you pay any attention to sum mer athletics?" "Oh, yes; I often run a few blocks after the Iceman when he has gone by without having us auy Ice." A Condition. "You say you want to get off tli I afternoon to go to a funeral?'' "Y'es, sir; If it doesn't rain." The i'rniter lime. "Amy," said Mabel, "when do you intend to wear" that stunning bathing suit of yours ! "When tho men arrive," replied A my. Propagators. ".Mosquitoes are accused of propa gating disease," said Spykes. "Well, I know that they propagate profanity," said Spokes. True HeniifiiH t ion. The Spinster (an Invalid) Is it really true that marriages are made in heaven? The Parson Yes, I believe so. The Spinster (resignedly) Oh, then I II tell the doctor he needn't call again. Chicago News. A Paradoxical Talesman. Judge Have you formed any opinion on this case? Wouldbeigh Juror No, sir; I haven't mentioned It to my wife. The Smart Set. Trouble Not Far Off. First Hack-Yard Farmer Have you spaded up your garden yet? Second Hack-Yard Farmer No. but my next-door neighbor has let out all bis hens. Somerville (Mass.) Journal Hie Matus. "Whoopler seems to have nearly fin ished fitting himself for active mem bership in a trained animal show." "Oh, he was nn Klk, and then he be came a White Kat, and last night he Joined the Buffaloes and they made a monkey of him." Puck. Comparison. Tk$e S Miss May I do not know any better way to describe my embarrassment in your presence than to say that I feel as if I were about to be examined at school. Bombe. Porry He Lied. " De Garry You are the only woman I ever loved. Madge In that case I can't be your summer girl. I don't want any ama teur. Judge. Exclmi venee-. Mrs. Furseproud I see where several millionaires chartered a whole steam boat in order to come across the ocean. Mr. Purseproud Well, when we go over we will lease the ocean for a week. Baltimore American. Turned Down. "I have written my autobiography," said the ex-politician who had seen beN ter days. "I suppose you would te willing to advance a few dollars on it, eh?" "Not on your life," replied the soul less publisher. Chicago News. The Same To-.lay. "In old times, when a man committed a mistake he was put in the stocks." "It's sometimes that way now," sigh ed the fellow who had beeu dabbling ou a falling market. "To be caught iu the stocks means you've done something you shouldn't have done." Philadel phia Times. . A Whole Lot Phort. "Say, pop!" said Willie, "is 'gent' short of 'gentleman?' " "Yes, my boy," replied the old man, "a gent is far short of a gentleman." Philadelphia Record. A Fallacy. "There Is a great deal to be said on both sides of every (juestlou," said the bruitd-mlnded man. "My dear sir," answered Mr. Meek ton, "It Is very plain that you have nev er engaged lu au argument with Hen rletta." Washington Star. Appropriate. "I wonder w hy they put 'lie Rests in Peace' over Jones' grave. I understand that he led a very bad life." "True but you don't know Mrs J 'Hies." Life. "Gee, Fin glad my mother dou't wear shoes like those." He Hjinpathlzel. The Summer Girl (to her companion) What do you suppose It is, dearest, that makes the sea murmur so? Testy Old Gentleman (who has en countered a mooning couple lu every secluded nook along the shore) Lord Miss, you'd murmur if you had to bear nil the sentimental rot the sea hears! Detroit Free Press. Looked Like Her. "Sir," said the gentleman, angrily, as he burst Into the photograph gallery, "you have Insulted my wife and I de mand satisfaction!" "Believe nie, sir," said the photog rnpher, soothingly, "I am Innocent of any intended offense. What have I done?" "You will have to fight, sir," went on the man; "you took a picture for my wife and it looks like her!"-Roston Post. What He Wnnl.l I)n. "My poor hungry man, if I were to give you a nickel, what would you do with It.'" inquired the lady with the angular smeller and the uncertain spec tacles. "I'll tell ver. muni." replied the een tleman with the straggling whiskers and yearning bread pouch: "I'll clt n Turkish bath an' buy a ottymubble wld th change. here s th' ten, mum?' Denver Times. Kecr ui tine. tl' .jj A. 4 t-v liming Master ny tlon t you mount? I gave the order two minutes ago. The Rider Hang It, man, I've been on half a dozen times since then. The King. The Panjr of It. "Why dear, what's the matter with you? Bad news from your husband?" "Oh, worse than that, lje writes me that he Is longing for me and kisses my picture every day." "That's no reason for crying." "Yes, but I find I put mother's pho tograph In his trunk In mistake for mine." Brooklyn Life. Water at a Dinrnunt. "Is It not beautiful to see the moon shine across the water?" Inquired the romantic young woman. "Well, miss," answered Col. Still well, "moonshine is very acceptable in in emergency. But I don't know as I especially care about the water.' Washington Star. Appearances Against Him. The Parson (leaning over the fence. shocked) Makiu' garden on Sunday, brother! I Is pained beyon' measuah, Brother Johnson! Itastus Johnson (flustered) Deed I ain't makin' garden, pahson. I'ze only diggin' bait to go flshin'. Brooklyn Eagle. Noncommital. "Senator," asked the interviewer, "du I understand you to say there is very little money made In politics?" "Well er you might say," replied the Senator, "there Is a great deal of money made out of politics." Phila delphia Tress. The Brutality of. Man. A correspondence full of eloquence and a speaking moral has been brought to light by a trade journal In St. Paul. The lady received the first letter, and it read thus: "Dear Madam: I take pleasure in shipping to your address a rug valued at $.10, for which I shall be glad to re ceive your check. If you do not desire the rug please return it. Very sincere ly, and so forth!" 'The idea!" exclaimed the ludignant woman, and thereupon she sat down and Indited the fllowlng reply: 'Dear Sir: . I have ordered no rug from your establishment, and I see no reason why I should go to the expense of returning that which I do not want. and which was sent to nie unsolicited." To this complaint she received the following gently sarcastic rejoinder: Dear Madam: I will semi for the unsolicited rug, and I trust you will do me the favor to send for the unso licited charity tickets which now lie with about twenty-eight others on my desk. Very sincerely, and so forth." "The discourteous boor!" shrieked the lady. w .. an :W err .l --,' "to! J GEO. P. CROWELL, (SiirreMor to R. I.. Hmllb, Oldest EftUbllahrd llon.f In the vallejr J DUALLR IN Dry Goods, Groceries, Boots and Shoes, Hardware, Flour and Feed, etc. This old-established house will con tinue to pay cash' for all its goods; it pays no rent; it employs a clerk, but does not have to divide with a partner. All dividends are made with customers in the way of reasonable prices. Davenport Bros. Are rtiiuihiR their two mills, planer end boi fat-lory, and can till ordcra (or Lumber Boxes, Wood and Posts OS SI10KT NOTK'K. DAVIDSON FRUIT CO. SIMl'I'KKS OF HOOD RIVER'S FAMOUS FRUITS. FACKEHB Or Til K Hood River Brand of Canned Fruits. M ANl'FMTCKKKN OK Boxes and Fruit Packages HKAI.KKS IN Fertilizers & Agricultural Implements. THE REGULATOR LINE. Dalles, Portland & Astoria Navigation Co. DALLES BOAT Leaves Oak Street Dock, Portland 7 A. M. and li P. M. PORTLAND BOAT Leaves Dalles 7 A. At. and 3 P. M. Daily Except Sunday. STEAMERS Regulator, Daljes City, Reliance. WHITE COLLAR LINE. Sir. "Tahoma," Daily Round Tripp, except Sunday. TIME CARP. Leave Portland .. 7 a.m. I Leave Astoria 7 a.m. The Dalles-Portland Route Str. "Bailey Gatzert," Pally Round Trips, except Monday. VANCOUVKR.TASCAPK LOCK'S, ST. MAR. TIN'S SPKIXIIS, IIDOII HI VKK, Wll I I K SALMON, LYLE and 'I J 1 K DAI.LKS. TIME CARD. Leave Portland..." a.m. I laveTheDa1les i p.m. Arrive TheDttllesSp.m. Arrivei'ortlaud 10p.m. Mmalm tha Very Beat. This route has the grainiest scenic attractions on earth. Sunday trips a leading feature. Lauding and ottice, foot of Aider street. liotli 'phones, Main &'d, Portland, Or. K. V. CRH'HTO.V, AKCnt, Portland. JOHN M. KILLOOX. Atfent, The Dalles. A. J. TAYLOR, Agent, Aftoria. .1. ('. YVYATT, cnit Vancouver. WOLFOKD A WYKKS, Agts., White Falmon, PRATHER & BARNES, Admits at Hood Kiver Oregon Shoijj Line and union Pacific D EPA ST TIME SCHEDULES From Hood River. ARRIVS gnlt Lake, Denver, Ft. Worth.Oniaha, Kansas City, St. Louis, CliicouoHiiii Last. Chicago Special 11:20a. in. Portland Special 2:06 p. m. Walla Walla Ivrls ton. Spokane, Min neapolis, St. Paul, Duliith, Milwau kee, Chicago: East Bpokane Klyer 8:27 p.m. Portland Flyer 4:30 a, m. Salt Lake, Denver, Ft. Worth. Omaha, Kansas City, St. Louis, Cilk-atoaud Fast. Mail and Express U ;2 p. m. Mail and Kx press 5.42a. m. OCEAN AND RIVER SCHEDULE moat i'ortlani. mW& 1 !o 1:00 p.m. All sailing dates 4:00 p.m. subject lo chango For San Francisco bail every 6 days. Dally Columbia River 4 00 p. m Fx. Sunday Sttamers. Kx. Sunder S:U0c.m. Saturday To Astoria and Way luiuo p. m. Lending. :45 a.m. Willamette River. 4:S0p. m. Kx. Sunday Oregon City, New- Kx. Sunday berg. Salem, Inde- rendenee & Way andinye. 0 7:00a.m. Willamette ana Tarn- :30p.m. Tues., Thur. hill Rivers. Mon., Wed. and Sal. aud Fri. Oregon City, Day ton, Way Laud- tng. :45amm. Willamette River. 4:p.m. Tuee.. Thur. Mon., Wed. and Sat. Portland to Corral- and Trt lit Way Land- ing. Lr. Riparla Skaki RivtB. Lr.Lewietoa i:3."a m. Riparia to Lewteton a m. daily For low rates and other information write to A. L. CRAIG, General Pauenger Agent, Portland. Or. BAGI.ET, Agent, Hood Klter.