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THE OMAHA DAILY BEE : SUNDAY , SEPTEMBER 20 , 1SS6. TWELVE PAGES. 11
jAHOSC THE WITS AND WAGS , A. Ohoice Assortment of Sunday Smiles in Pioso and Rhyme. PLEASE DON'T RING THE GONG. The Harvest Moon mill tlio Shallow of ( ho Coon IlliiHtiliiR Youths mill Texas Mules Delicate Ga s In Short Meter. The NcRro's Harvest Moon. Clitcayo Herald , Do wntnhmllllon days am ober , It's time fo' do cotchtn' ob do coon ; Do days run In sight IV do rabbit i , M tike do mils'ob de bright hawvcsl moon. Camp mcctlns nm good fo' do aplrrlts Wlieu do splrrlts do get In a swoon , Hut nulllii will sta't up a nlggah Like a lidillu In do hawvcst moon , When do moon rises full In do meddcr , Like a putittin dat am rlpod by do sun , A ml stays In do sky till de bawn blows , Dai's do season to' do dm key's Inn. Dai's do tliuo he tells how he lab ) her , When do tiddler calls out do "Sashay I" D.it's do time ' tuikcvs nm n-growln' Fo' to pick when do moon gone away. Dat'sdotime when do possum's gilt In' ready Fo' to fatten along wld de coon ; Dai's de time do ynm nm ttiinln' ebcr In do light ob do bright hawvest moon. Hush , honey I Dar nm Rounds In do sky : Ole Gabriel nm aliummln' "HlpCoon ; " I lay dat Judgment will be lighted Hy dosnlno obdo bright hawvest moon. Ho Knew. Hoslon Courier : The teacher of the Sunday school class was toiling the llttlo boys about temptation and showing how it sometimes came in the most attractive guise. She used as an illustration the paw of n cat. "Now " said " have all , she , "yon soon tlio paw of a cat. It Is as soft as velvet , isn't it ? " "rosem , " from the class. "And you have seen the paw of a dog ? " "Yescm. " "Woll , although the cat's paw scorns like velvet , there is nevertheless con cealed In it something that hurts. What is it ? , ' No answer. "Tho dog bites , " said tlio teacher , "whim ho is in auger. What does tlio cat do ? " "Scratches , " replied the boy. "Correct , " said the toaebor , nodding her head approvingly , "now , what has the cat got that the dog hasn't ? " Q"Whiskors , " exclaimed a boy on tlio back seat and the titter that ran around the class brought the lesson to an cud. Boston Courier : , Jones You haven't taken a vacation this summer. Smith Yes I have , my boy. Iv'e had six weeks' rest. J. i can't see how you have. You haven't been out of town. S. No , but the girl who plays on the piano opposite to my house has been uwny on a six weeks vacation. J. Oh. S. Yes , And she came homo lasl night. 1 hoard her at it this morning. J. So your vacation has ended ? S. Not at all. 1 am going away for six weeks. That gives mo twelve weeks of rest for this year. Sort ol doubling up , as it wore. _ "Why the Youth fUuslicil. " Danville Hrecxe : "Charley , " said a fond v sister , "there's a batch of white pqwdoi on your coat collar. How did it get there ? " "Whito powder , where ? " "Why , there , and hero's some more on your sleeve. " "Oh , yc > r ' 1 know. T just cinno from the barbershop , and ho must have done it. " "Unt hero's a. long yellow hair. Do barbers have such long hair as that , Charley ? " "Pshaw , no , of course they don't. Probably some young lady had been get ting her bungs clipped , and sat in the same chair I did. " "Well , but Charley , " continued his tor mentor , "there's the corner of a hand kerchief slicking out of your pocket , am ! Roino writing on it. Let mo sec , it says , Ella S-m l % "Oil , git out , you pest , that's only ono that Jim Floyd gave mo to carry back to the owner. " "There's a hairpin sticking out of your vest pocket , Uliarfoy ; does that belong to Jim Floyd or the barber. And there's " Hut the enemy had retreated. How to Got C'nmo An Ideal. Columbus ntstatcli. ) She stood on the bridge ouo ovonlnu- , And the soft wind kissed her curls , And she sighed for o marked distinction O'er the other Now York girls. "I've " she muttered vainly sought , , "To lead by my fair young face , And eke by my style of ilres.sini ; , And eke by my step of grace. " 13 tit alas I though my face was noticed , And my style and stop wore line , I'vo boon very badly distanced Oh , that's why I ruplnu. "Now to thee , 0 , UrUlgo of Brooklyn , I've come , truant Fame to force , And I lea ] ) to thy breast. O river Kor they'll save my life , of course. "Why Ho Stopped. Arkansas Traveler. "When did yet stop lecturing on temperance ? " askci : the governor of Arkansas , addressing t\ \ well known reformer. "Well , you see , I wont up into the Dry Fork neighborhood and did my best but the distilleries wore too thick. " "Audience got drunk , I suppose ? " "No , not particularly. " "Whv did you stop then ? " "Well , you sec , I got drunk. " Know nil Alxmt It. "John , what Is the matter with 3-01 right oyot" said an Iowa woman to her husband. " 1 don't know , my love. It keep. twllchiinj and winking constantly , and I am quite unable to control it. " "John , I would like to muko ono re quest of j-ou. " "What is it my dear ? " ' 'Please don't drink any soda wato until that eye gets well. " A Coininorolnl Transaction , First Hootblaok. Hilly , how would yet like to go into partnership with mo ? f Second Ditto. Yes , sir , we'll bcgli Blow. "Very woll. Hun over to the conic nnd trot two boxes of blacKlng , " "Whore's the money ? " "Monoyl Why , 1 could pot It mysnl with money. I reckon I'll dissolve thl partnership. You are no help to mo. " Dtuzliul Him. The actor down to thu footlights strode , And hli strides they wcro immonso. And from his parted lips there llowcd A stieam ef eloquence. Wlintmtuto the actor's bend to spin , And Ids bight to leave him there ? 'Iwns the buuo of the plumber's dlamou I'm. ' Who sat in an orchestra chair. ToMsorial Item. , Texas Sittings ; An elderly gontlcmau , on whose head only a few lonesome hairs lingered , entered a drug store , and said to thaiflork : ' I want to buy a hair brush. " "ror your own usot" . "Vus. " f y _ "What's the matter with a tooth * brush ! " It Was All Itljiht. "I heard that somebody In n thl ? crowd said I was n liar. " blus- ercd a fourth ward bully as ho ap- iroachcil a knot of men ho thought ho knew. * "Which of you was It ? " "It was mo , I reckon , " quietly re marked a strapping stranger from up the creek , as ho whipped off Ids coat and irocci.'dcil to roll up Ids sleeves. "That's all right ! " continued the fourth warder , "keep on your clothes ! 1 didn't say i wasn't , did ? Altilc of Tcxna. KteJianof , ifulo of Tcxns , ere We part , It'll me why you will not start , Or It really you must balk. Pray excuse my wicked talk. Hear my vow betore 1 co ; I'll be even with you , though , Uy thv lout ; loin ? tall mifonfined , Woocil by.every passing wlml , Uy those heels , so wondrous swift. Which can men o'er tree-tois ] lift , Uy those ears that droop so low , I'll bo even with you , though. Uy those rilia I lomj to haste , Uy thy show of darn bad taste , Jv ) thy melancholy brav , That alarms folks miles away , Uy thy stern resolve to whoa , I'll be even with you , though. Mule of Texas , I mil ROIIP , Think of me , sweet , whoa Mono , 1-or I lly to set a club. Then your blamed old bnck I'll drub. If 1 cannot nmko thcc go. I'll bo oven with you , though. Tlio Way to Oet 'Km. Tommy : Oh , yes ! capital supper ! Hut I wasn't very hungry , so I just told the waiter to bring the mrangs , you know. Tommy's mother : "The what ? " "The mrangs. " "That's not the way to pronounce in-c- r-i-n-g-u-c-s. " "No , but it's the way to get "om. " A Popular Delicacy. Puck : Stranger ( to Cincinnati butcher ) What's the price of bologna sausage ? Hatcher Veil , nbuwlt fooftm tolhir a hundcrt veil. Stranger How much Is Ha pound ? Hutcber Vat ! Yon puy bologna sau sage by dor s'nglo ' pound ? You vas a stranger in Cincinnati. Had Spells. Ufc. To sail out upon the broad ocean iV sweut little malil took a nocuan , Hut when the yacht rolled She exclaimed : "I'd give polled To get rid of this honlble mucvan. " There was a young lady named Yaiighan Who tiuatcd her lever with bcaimhaii , Anil he gave up his suit When her father's hlg.buit Shot htm lustily forth on the laiighan. Zoroaster and His Teachings. The Quiver for October : Evil , accord ing to Zoroaster's teachings , is most highly distasteful in the sight of the "Most pure Ono , " and fearful retribution is declared to await those who disobey His commands and do evil. Thus , wo are told how "ho who deceives tlio righte ous will dwell for evermore in darkness. " and in ono of tlio sacred songs it is said of the wicked how "Ho brings a certain ruin on a house , clan , burgh , or _ province sure death and sure destruction. " Instead of showing any sympathy for those notions who consecrated to their gods temples , altars , and statues , ho pro claimed that the mountain tops are the places most adapted for prayer , espec ially as the Supreme God , "U ho fills the vast sphere ol heaven , is the object to Whom they are addressed. " As a speci men of the prayers used by Zoroaster , wo may cpiote the following , which is a good illustration of his form of worship : "in the name of Uod , tlio Giver and Forgiver , rich in love praise bo to God Who al ways was , always is. and always will be ; tlio Wise , the Creator , the Over-seeing God , pure , good , and just. With all strength bring I thank-offerings of praise to the Lord , the Complete1 of good works , Who made men greater than all earthly beings , and through the gift of speech created them to rule over the creatures and to war against the evil spirits. All gooil do I accept at Thy com mand , O God , and think , 'speak , and do it. I believe in the pure law , and by every good work I seek forgiveness of sins. " It may bo noted hero that , as Mr. Davenport Adams remarks , prayer , ac cording to this sage"is not the humbling of the soul before its Creator , not the aspirations of tlio spirit towards the source of all love and mercy , not the desire - sire of the creature to bo at peace with God , but the renunciation of will a noble and worthy aim in itself , but not fulfilling the Christian idea of prayer. " lint imperfections of this kind cause to stand out in bolder and more striking relief the pure and perfect teachings ol Christ And it is impossible not to com pare His wonderfully comprehensive torn ) of prayer , in widen "submission before - fore t'od and charity toman" imply "the conquest and humiliation of self. " In spite , however , of his earnest exhortations - hortations to his fellow-countrymen to seek the true God , Zoroaster seems at first to have met with little encourage ment , and in one of his sacred songs wo find him bursting forth into this lamenta tion : "To what land shall I turn ? Whither shall I go in turning ? Owing to the desertion of the master and his com panions , none of tlio servants pay reverence once to me , nor do the wicked rulers of the company. How shall 1 worship Tlioo further , O God ? " Hut success was in store for him , and his teaching was des tined to exert for a long time tv powerful sway over Ids country. Some doubt prevails as to the exact time and place Zoroaster lived , but it is generally agreed that ho was born in Itactria over a thousand years ago. As re gards his personal life little Is known ; the detail * of his life as handed down to us being entirely legendary and uuhistori- cal. That ho was a man , however , of ox < traordinar.y intellectual abilities is nm verbally admitted , having been styled "tho master of the old living creation , " "tho abyss of knowledge and truth. " It was his misfortune to have lived at a primitive period in the world's history , oven when the wisest men groped in the dark in search of truth ; and , if wo reflect how steeped in ignorance and idolatry the nations wore with whom Zoroaster came in contact throughout Ids life , we cannot but admire the courage with which he proclaimed his belief and faith in the true God. Hut it should be added that the super stltious notices ami practices which are "so prominent and rcpulslvo" in the so-called later Zoroaslrlanism would have had no sympathy with our sago. Indeed , as Mr. Cook points out , thoMicrcd chants or Gatlms attributed to Zoroaster , nud admitted by all critics to give a faithful representation of his religious views , are entirely free from all such pernicious tenets. In short , the principles of boliol in an omniscient and all-merciful God , as set forth by Zoroaster in the national religion which he founded , approach far nearer the old Hebrew faith which pre pared mankind for Christianity than can be said of most of the other religion i sys tems framed by the loading intellects at respective periods in the world's history. Ho Ijet the Hey Go. Washington Critio : Ho was only boy , but ho was before the police judge. "Well , my lad , " said the court kindly , "according to the statement of the ofllcer making the arrest , you were painting the town rod. Have you anything to say for yourself J" "No , your honor ; the ofllcor is right. " "Hut you are vary young. Have you any employment1 "No , your honor ; roy father Is a mem ber of congress. " "Oh ahl" oielalmed the Judge in Bur- prise. "Hero , ofllcor , let thu prisoner go. This court has nothing to do with the correction of inherited weakness. " ThrooMttlo Mnlils ntSchooL . Three little maids nt school nro wo , JIadns school girls well can be , Jrun all over , no longer free , Three little maids at school ! Alircbra Is not much fun , Compositions must bo ilono , All our lessons ate ju t begun. Three little maids at school I Three llttln maidens most contrary , dnne to the ladles' semliiarr , Uound to Its hum-drum tutelary , Three little maids at school I HONEY KOU "Tim IjAOlKS. Block silk stockings arc very stylish with red shoes. The mistress of the while house wears a ! X shoo. In Paris most of the bonnets are worn without strhiL-s , Colored liows to match the stoculngs are worn on slippers. The moonstone grows In favor for brooches and hairpins. Venetian beads In great variety are coin- In el n favor. White laeo is to supersede the cream tint so long in fashion. Sashes ot embroidered silk or velvet are exctTillngly rich. Headed plush and velvet aie some of tlio season's novelties. Shoit plumes tlnped with pearls are revived for millinery purposes. Hlack lace dresses for autumn wear have bodices of black velvet. According to fanny , the sash may be tied at the back or at the slilo. 1'riso plush has long , soil loops : It Is used for combination costumes. Cashmere overdresses will bo worn with plush , velvet and striped skirts. Kcccptlon and vlsitlnc costumes of cloth arc trimmed with velvet and lur. Hlack and white materials of all sorts arc in favor for the present season. Laced boots with patent-leather tops are still the stylish wear lor cool weather. Ostrich plumes nnd tips arctholcadlnggar- nlture of Imported bonnets ami hats. White feathers and white pompons are shown In the greatest abundance. Gray cloves are worn with black toilets , They are embroidered with black , Yokes of velvet arc a feature of Mlk dresses for autumn and winter wear. Serge grows in favor for dresses , its admir able wealing quality recommending It. Kleh embroideries from alt nations aio In high vogue for plastrons and l-'edora vests. Mohair brauli with applique ligiues of silk and bead edgings are novelties for trimming. The clioinlseltes l'us c continues a favor ite and is seen on toilelsof every description. Jet trlmmmcs are richer than ever. Heads cut en cabochon aio novelties and ate very large. Removable hoods , fastened with silk cord , are worn with lallor-niado dresses in the streets. Itlhbon remains in favor for trimming dresses , and is used for sashes , belts , bows and loops. In spite of the ahtl-plumago league birds , wings , and feathers are to have a inominont place iu autumn millinery. Crossed keys studded with pearls and horse-shoes Mtrroumled with pearls are la- vorito designs for brooches. Sashes of woolen material , corresponding to the dress with which they are worn , are trimmed wiih embroidery ot fringe. \\hlte wings will bo very popular for young ladies on all sorts of walking and driving hats , but not upon drossy bonnets. ( iiihnpcs will be in favor for dresses with high or low bodices. Thov are made of tulle , crepe lisse , gauze , brocaded silk or of exceed ingly line muslin. A Newport man fell In love with his wife after attending her curtain lectures almost nightly forever twenty years. Jlo was tried for lunacy and sent uu. "It's a wife's duty to bo pleasant , " says an exchange. It is a hard duty when she has a sour and soreheaded husband pulling the other way. [ New Orleans Picayune. Miss Gertrude Griswold.Hret llarto's niece has taken London by storm In concert , which 15ret wishes to remark , and his language plain , that she Is tlio coming American qnccii of song. Undressed kid gloves are worn upon all occasions In the various shades of urown. 1'or evening wear white undressed kid gloves are seen , although the light suede tints are more fashionable. A large bat of suede felt , with flaring brim , is faced with velvet of the same tint as the felt. Thotrimmim ; Is massed in front and consists of loops ot corn-colored velvet lib- boa and tancy feathers of the same color. "Man and wife , ' ' says a writer on matri mony , ' 'should learn to pull together. If this doesn't mean that when she grabs you by the hair you should grab hers , we fail to un derstand the drltt of this writer's argu ment. A black felt hat with high crown has the rolling brim lined with black velvet Loose folds of the velvet are draped about the ciown and a largo cluster of mahogany- tinted ostrich plumes , with aigrette. , form the trimming. Smith college has made Miss Amelia 13. Edwards , the noted Kngllsh novelist , an LL.l ) . We cannot say as to how she will have It trimmed , but It would look too lovely with a prlinc&s train and an orange leather. A bonnet of black felt has a cnrouot brim faced with flush. A fold and knot of Poppy red velvet cross the brim at the lett slue and a large metallic green bird and fanny aigrette complete the trimming. The strings , which cross the base of the crown , are of poppy-red velvet ribbon with plcot edges. "Well , Hascomb , how is your married life ? You used to call your wife a daisy. Do you still keep up the endearing title'1' "No , George. I've found another sweet flower namuforher. She's very wakeful at night and gives mo the awfulest curtain lectures. " "Ah , Indeed 1 And what do you call her now ? " "Tho nlxht-blooniliiE serious. " For autumn and winter , combination in costumes will be as marked a featuieas In the past season. Skirts will bo trimmed with bands cut from woven material and arranged In a variety of ways , except when the drapery covers them , in which case they will be plainer or edged with a single band ot' fur or trim ming , a narrow toot plaiting or a baud of leather stitching. The residence of Mrs. Mark Hopkins , In process ot erection at Great Harrington , Mass. , will have a state dlnliiu room , -lOxCu feet , two stories In height , with a roof of glass. The walls of this room will bo linisli- cd In nil varieties ot Italian imarblu. There are two breakfast rooms one capable of ac commodating a lurgo number ot guests. The residence has several beautiful towers and a lawn of over 1UU acres. The place will cost nearly Sa.OOO.OOO. It Is a mistake that there is a revival in white hose. Tno erroneous Impression arises from the fact tlmt ninny women buy as many white or ccra-llsle thread stockings as blacker or dark colored ones when laying In a supply of hosiery lor the season. They do this be cause while ana ecru stockings of iho sheer est kind are always worn under black or dark colored stockings by prudent or careful women , who do not wish to run the risk of bloojl poisoning from badly dyed cheap hos iery. Ulack stockings nro really on the In crease but ladles nro beginning to realize the necessity of wearing them over white ones. September Soro. Huston Courier. Atul now the hunter takes Ids gun The llulds to rambloover , From morning dawn to set of sun , In search of snipe and plover , A gloomy , disappointed wight , A bandaged hand caressing , Upturns ho homeward In the night , With several lingers missing , CONNUIUAL1T1E S. Among the wedding presents given to a yoiini : Vermont couple was a beautifully wonted motto : "Fight On."a The Utlca Herald charges that a clergy. uinn at Camdeii , Mew Jersey , has Issued a man of the river fronts of that place nnd Philadelphia , with dotted lines showing the shortest routes to his residence , for the Infer * matlon ot eloplug couples. A cltlzon ot Waco , Tex. , had a remarkable experience one day recently. Ho went to visit hl tnotuor. who Is nearly sixty years of old. In a neighboring town , but found she had eloped with a mnn half her nzeOn ids return home , ho was met with the startling Information tbnt bis wlto bad eloped with a handsomer man. He bos uow soUl out and gone to Utah. Mrs. Antoinette Puppo , a Castllllau widow living iu Galveiton , Texas , was married to JuanB. liarsau , On account ot 111 health ho went to live In Monterey , Mexico , she ac companying him. She became very Intimate there with Senor 1'lazzlni , and when her hus band died after Ids return to Unlveston , she notified the senor that she wns a widow. Ho then notllicdScnorCaloslft , of GatTOSton , to marry him ( I'lazzlnl ) to the widow , and to sUn the marriage contract before the author ized liuk'c as ho'coald not leave Mexico. Ac cordingly the license was procured nnd Lu- rlftiio Calosla , for Callleto ria/ziiil , and Mrs. Antolnecte Puppo , widow ot Juan Marsnn , appeared before Justice Spann , Piazzlul and her were married. Immediately after the ceremony the bride left to Join her husband , riazzini. L. Calosla , the proxy In this In stance , was man led to Miss Marie Campos Hlvas of Klvndco. 1'rovlnce of Lugo , Spain , In August , It J , F. H. Gale-sin appearing ns proxy under power of attorney nnd by certi ficate of the Spanish consider that city. A sister of Mr. Calosla wns married In a similar manner to n gentleman in South America. The law covering the case Is Included In the United States statutes. 1MIMI3T1US. "Did you over see anything ! like thls"snld a young lady at a church fair when rallllne was In progress. "Onlv , once , " replied he. ' When was that , dear ? " "Once on a train out west , when It was robbdd by bandits , " was the gentle response. She James , do you know who put three buttons on the plate In chmerl to-day'.1 He Yes , 1 know what I wns about. She .lames , perhaps you know that I bought tlio o but tons yesterday for mv now dress and paid litty cents a piece for tliem. "Was ItrighiV said a gentleman on the steamer Rupert , coming fiom Gitmsby park , "to sell hymn books at the service over there , on SuiulayV" "I could not make any distinc tion between such n practice and the iiuinlng ot street cars to take people to chinch. " The do.icon's wife wanted to jot down the text , and Icanlijg over to her scapegrace nephew she whlspeicd ; "Have you any cards about you' ' " "You can't play In church. " was the solemn , repioving answer , nnd the good woman was so flustered tlutsho forgot all about her text. Acolpoiteur ot the American Hlblo society found In Klley , VYIs. , the other day the sou ol'a Methodist cletgymau who had no Uible In his house , lie wouldn't buy one nnd wouln'laeeeptoiieasa gift , and when the colporteur intimated that he'd leave ouo any way the had mnn became very angry , and put the Hi bio man out of the house. A clergyman who has been married three times , nnd has a numerous set of olive branches , which spring Irom diverge mater nal ancestry , contesses to n slightly discon certed feeling when , shortly bolero his third marriage , ho was approached by one of his daughters , a uirl ot nine , and one \\liu called his second wife mother , with : " 1'ap.i. will you let mo go to see you married ? 1 have never been at any of your weddings. " "My dear. " said a young Chicago wlto to her husbuml after they had returned from the wedding tour and settled down to housekeep ing , "in looking over this box of goods 1 Unit your lather's old Inmily Uiblo and hero is an entry under the head of births , which says : 'AlbertV. \ . . born May 3 , 18U ) . ' Didn't you tell woreii7 old ? " "Ah " me you years , re plied Albert pleasingly , " that's a copy of the old version. It's lull ol mistakes. In my ollico down town 1 have a Hiblo of the new lovision. I'll bring it homo tliii uven- Ing. " A sad accident recently happened in a churchin Liverpool. The pews of the cliurch had been varulsiied the week previous and were not yet entirely dry. The congregation did not know this. The clergyman came out of the vestry room and began the service by reading the sentence : "Uend your hearts and not vour naiments , " etc. , the congregation rising as he began. Hut , to the horror of everyone , thev luinui themselves stuck last to the seats ; and , though they had just been told not to do .so , many of them literally rent their garments in their efforts to get up. IllQljlGIOUS. Japan has 103 I'roteslant churches , with a membership ut' 11,078. Of the 2SO English Presbyterian churches 210 have temperance societies. Philadelphia claims that one-fifth of its population Is enrolled in Its Sunday scnools. The lJd anniversary of St. David's Epis copal church was celebrated in riiiladelpnia Sunday. Two colored missionaries have been sent to the Congo by the colored. .Baptists ot the northwest. There are 7OOJ , Esquimau converts In Greenland under the care of the Danish Mis sionary society. The First Colored Haplist church of Nash ville , Tenn. , lus u S&juud house and u mem bership of yioj. Ill January. 1SS3 , tlio Church of England will celebrate the centenary of Its estaullsh- ment In Australia. Presbyterians north and south , if united , would have an income of 812,000,000 , 8-lT'J churches , 0,121 ministers and 800,531 mem bers. Japan has 108 Protestant churches , with a membership of 11,078. About'ono-thirdof the churches are self-supporting and all but halt n ilo/.iMi ol the rest are partially so. Dr. Storrs , of Hrooklyn , lias recently cele brated Ins slxty-lilth birthday , and will cele brate his fortieth anniversary as pastor of the Church ot the Pilgrims In November. It Is estimated that the Mormons have gained during the past year nbout 1,800 for eign immigrants and 200 more proselytes from the south , making an addition of about U.OOO. U.OOO.Mrs. Mrs. Grossman , the daughter of Edwin Hooth , hns presented n beautiful window to the Herkcloy Memorial chapel , nt Newport , the gift bulng In memory of the donor's mother , The number of Japanese in the Mikado's empire professing the Protestant faith is now 11COJ , showing nn increase during the past year of 2,700. The totul number of churches Is 151. There nro 23,000,000 of people In the Pun jab , niiioug whom there was no Christian clfort made till 1870 ; but so numerous are the Christians there now that last year they pur chased tracts of land to tlio value ol 10,000 rupees. The Wesloyansof Victoria celebrated their jubilee on May 10 , when promises of $105.000 to a thanksgiving fund were received. There with 113 lead The Spiritualists are the only religious body In Warohnm , Mass. , who pay a tux upon their house and place of worship. Wareham assessors tax the temple and land upon a valuation of 50,000 : the headquarter building and lot used wholly and exclusively lor Its purpose for several hundred more. The largo court ynrd of the Pine ( PIgnn ) nt the Vatican will bo covered and given up as a place for the exhibition that will bo held In the Vatican on tlio occasion of the pope's sncredotnl Jubilee next year. Hesldoa this , thu vast hall of the tapestries and that of the antique vases and candelabra , splendidly re stored by Leo Xlll last year , will also bo used as exhibition halls on this sumo occa- SINGULARITIES. A seven foot snake that had just swal lowed two larKO rabbits , was killed a few days ago on Anastatla island , Florida. A Dlckson county , Tennessee , farmer re cently killed an owl that measured four feet and nine inches Horn tip to tip ot wings. In n Uelgian pigeon race that took place a while ago , the winning bird completed 510 miles nt an average speed of 1,181 yards per minute. A fourteen foot shark was recently caught near Angel island on the California coast. The fish weighed about ono thousand nnd live hundred pounds. A most rcmnrknblo freak of nature hns been secured by Mr. William Holland for exhibi tion at the Albert palnce , Unttersea , in the form of an Infant boy , ngeu twelve months , who weighed upwnids of lifty-elght pounds , and stands three feet high. A big bear attacked a colt on Dry Creek , California. Its mother came to the rescue , and , while she fought the bear , the colt ran to the house of Its owner , who went out to see what was the matter and found the fnith- ful mure dead and the bear sitting oil the body. A big black cat and a big blank bat battled for throe hours In tlio Kansas City postollico before the cat succeeded in killing the bat. Tlin bat's tactics were to get on the cat's back and chow his ear , aim the cat's were to run under a desk nnd scrape off the bat atid then renew the coulllct. A calf was born on the place of W. H. Taylor , at Langley , Fairfax county.Vlnjlnin , on laat Friday night , with a large double head , two distinct mouths , .tlireo eyes and no cars. Each mouth was perfect and contained a tongue and a full set of teeth. There was an eye on each side of the I/cad / and ono iu thomlddloof the forehead. 'The calf was dead. nnd Fnte. Two hands that tremble nt each other's touch : .wo hearts that leapt when come the other near. Loo-speaklnc eyes , two stammering ton- trues nbovo Two souls tlmt sought each other's .presence nnict ) , To whom each day of absence seemed n year And that was Irove. Two souls that sought through wcau- years In vain That sweet content that nevermore could come. Two lives forever ilrear and desolate : Two lives enshadowed by the pall of Pain * Two hearts that broke , yet were forever dumbAnd And that was Fate. MUSICAL- AND IMIAMATIC. John Stetson Is to put an opera company on the road to play "I'rlnress Ada. " Edwin P.ooth will play two weeks at Chicago cage opera hou- , beginning Oct. I. \V. C , Coup Is preparing to take a collec tion of trained horses out to Anstrallla , .Mr. Klehnrd Hanner has been enirnired as the solo violinist of the Worcester lesllvnl. Mary Anderson will appear at Dublin In n perloriHauco tor the beaeilt of the Charleston siilforers. It Is said that Gerster lost her volco In ex change tor her hist baby , and will piobably never slngauatn. It Is understood that Jessie Harlletl-Davis will not bo with the American Opera com pany this season. During her coming visit Emma Abbott will proimce Paul and Virginia as a sort of operatic spectaelo. Carrie Swalm aspires to become n comic opera prlma donna. Thl.- , she says , Is her last season In farce comedy. The San Francisco Eden Museo did not prove a success. Tlio wax. figures have been boxed up nnd stowed away. ' No actors were present nt the Delmonlco dinner to Nat Goodwin , None ol the pro fession cared to pay S15 forthatpilvilege. It Is again announced that Whistler Is coming over to deliver Ins "Ten O'clock lee- tine inider the management ef D'Oyly Carte. Mr. Lawrence Hatred's tour this season will not extend beyond Kansas Cltv In the west , or south of Louisville and Washing ton. Madame Ticbelll and her daughter An toinette willairlvo In this country next month and commence a lengthened tour of sixty concerts. Jaiiish has decided to come to this country after all , and sails from Franco September ' 5. She has a now play by D'Eiinerv , called "A Wife's Saerillce. " Mrs , Clinnfraii and Mrs. Hnworsaro veter ans ot the staite. Mrs. Chnnfrnii made her debut September 1 ! ' , 18.V4 , while .Mrs. Hewers' lirst appearance was on July 1 ! > , l&IO. The widow of the late John Uickaby has re-entered Iho dramatic prol'ot-slon as a mem- bur of tlm theatrical company outraged by Lillian Olcott for the production of 'Theo dora. " Kate Claxtea has unearthed Mr. Honcl- cault's "Airiili-na-l'ojrne , " ono of Ida best plays , by the way , and will devote herself this season to a portrayal of Its heroine woes. James Nixon , the old-time circus manager , hns gone to Kugland ns the aceat of HutTalo Hill's wllfl west show. Ho will make ar- raimemeiits for talcing the organization over there. Janlsh has cabled her manager , Dave Peyser , that she will leave P.irls on Septem ber U5 , and come via Havre on the steamer Hourgogne , bringing two new plays , which 'she will Include fii her rcpeitolie. Atigustin Daly and company sailed from Qiieeiistown Sunday , and are duo In Now 1 ork September 27. The loss of Edith King- don married last week to George Gould- will bo seriously felt by Mr. Daly. M- The Violet Cameron Comic Opera company will have their lirst hearing Iu the United States in Oirenbach's opeietta entitled "Tho Commodore. " The engagement at the Casino will commence on October 4 , as already noted. D'Oyly Carte's "Mikado" company has been playing In Vienna It was the lirst ap pearance of an English comic ojiera company there , and the venture was nn Immediate success. Vienna papers all gave n hearty in dorsement to the performance. Old M r. Crnbtree , father of Lotta and the other Crabtrees , Is living in retirement at AI- tringham. In Lancashire. Ho is liberally pensioned and is domiciled In an old-fash ioned inn. The walls of his selling-room are coveied with photographs of his daughter. Miss Heatrlco Cameron , leading lady of the "Prince Karl" company , is Miss Susie llaga- ninn of HrooKlyn , off the stage , and made her first appearance licfoio the footlights not moro than two years ago with one of the leading amateur dramatic clubs of that city. The entrance examination for the American School of Opera will bo held at the National Conservatory of Music. No. 118 East Seven teenth street. New Yoik. on October 1 and'J , at 10 a. in. The school will reopuu October 4. Tuition Is free to students who successfully pass the examination. The long anticipated production of "Theo dora" occurred in New York on Monday evening , and was , according ; to the Tribune of that city , a limited success. Fiom nil ac counts Miss Lillian Olcott , the comparative novice who undertook the title role , cut rather n sorry figure in her efforts to copy Heruhardt. She is Now Kirs. When n clrl is duly married , And by the bridegroom kissed , She's numbered "mongst the many Who never will bo missed. KDUOATlONAJj. A Catholic college Is to bo opened In Salt Lake City. The freshmen clnss nt the University of Vermont numbers lilty. Princeton college beinn Its regular term with V o students on the roll. The salary o President Holdon , of the State university , California , has been raised to SO.OOO. With thousands of children roaming her streets for want or school accommodation. New York pays the clerk of the board of education 37,500 a year. At the Methodist college Just adjourned In Dublin , Sir William McAitmir ijnvo § 75,000 toward the erection ot n new buildingon the Methodist grounds nt Helfnst , where young women may bo cducntcd. Rev. Immniiucl M Cnsanowlcz , professor of Hebrew in the German Theological somlu- nry , Hluomliold. N. J. , has boon converted to the Catholic faith , and will study for the priesthood nt Setim Hull college. Mr. Mc.Mastcrs. of Toronto , who erected the building for the Haptlst institute at Wood stock , Canada , and rndowed seven of Its professors , has recently added 52.10,000 to his gifts for the purpose of making It a full col lege.Tho The coming year In Harvard will be espe cially marked by the Important changes In the system which were decided upon during the last year. The old university will enter upon her avith year with Innovations and changes which , at her outset would seem as far away the bridging the Atlantic docs now. For the lirst time in her loin : career the at tendance nt the religious services of the uni versity will not bu compulsory , although the services themselves are to bo fostered nnd developed with greater zeal than ever by the authorities. The elfects of this freedom will bo watched very closely by educators all over the country. The Incoming class nt Harvard will probably - ably mount up to very near turco hundred. Out of the 200 or more who tried the exami nations tor entrance last spring , 150 passed , Upside these , sixty-six wcro admitted from the different academics near Boston , where arrangements for examination ura made , and twenty more from San Francisco , Chicago , St. LOU.IS and Paris. This latter place was made a place for examination this year for the lirst time , under the direction of Mr. Grandgent. It wns arranged for the conven ience of American lads residing In Europe , who wished to take the spring examinations nud still have their summer abroad before entering , It Is also for students who wish to take thu preliminaries which come a year be fore entering without having to cros the ocean for them. A Sehomo That Always Wo Hen. Harpers' Hazaar ; Urown Did you gofer for a vacation this summer , Smith I Smith-Oh.ycs. Urown How did you manage your business affairs ? Smith I topic my adveEtlsoment.ont of the paper untilreturneUso there wasri't any businct.3 to manage , Great. scheme , chf A C Oamden Ministers Who Have a Corner on Matrimony. LOW LICENSE TICKLES CUPID. Clerical Tlc-IUmlers Who rn Hup- Idly 1'lltiiK up Kortuiie.i by Uniting l-'ugttlvo Iiovers. Philadelphia Tress : 1) . Cooper Carman , city clerk of Camden , pulled a bit ; pack age of blue , olliciuMookim * documents out of a drawer in Ins ollico under the heaven-kissing clock-tower of the city- hall yesterday afternoon and counted them. "Twenty to-day , " ho said ; "that brings the mouth up to , let mo bee 763 from 1,033 Is give mo a piece of paper 21-1 and 20 is Ml. Will make ill ! more by the 15th. That'll bo 300 for the mouth. Last year at this t'mo ' ( hero were -ID , " " 1 wish 1 was a minister , " said a con tractor who stood by. Tlioro was envy in lus glatico as ho looked at tlio big bunch of marriage certificates. "What do you suppose they get apioeov" "Well,1'said Mr. Carman , reflectively , setting his white hat before him on his desk and knocking the ashes oil' his cigar , "one of them was in hero ono day and said they'd average $5. Another ono said that Sr'J was nearer right. Hut then another told mo that when one got $10 he didn't say anything about it. " 1 put tlio average at ? ! . ' " "They're all jealous of Dobbins , " said Iho contractor. "I'd like to know how beget got ahead of 'em. " "Who is Dobbins and how did he got ahead of thorn ? " asked a third person. "The Hovorond John Y. Dobbins. " said the city clerk , "is pastor of the Tabor- naele Methodist church. You see , when the Camden marriage boom began last October ho didn't get much. There would bo ten or twenty a month from him. About the l.'ith ofMareh ho was in and said : 'Somehow 1 seem to bo out of the track of these marriages. I hardly get any. ' Immediately after that lie be gan to turn them in by scores. This month he and Mr. Diverty report ninety- four. The other ministers can't make it OlfL" "Ho gives the hacknien a commission , " said the contractor , in a matter-of-fact way. It was simple as A , H , C to him. The Hev. John E. Diverty , to whom the city clerk alluded , is the Hev. Air. Dobbins' brother-in- law , and as supposed in Camden , his partner , the Kov. Air. Dobbins bins , is n grand army man. When ho went away on the San Francisco pilgrim age ho left the Hev. Mr. Diverty , who is the pastor of a smaller church in Camden don , to act for him. The marrume cpro- monies appear in the published notices as having been celebrated at the residence of tlio Kov. John Y. Dobbins , Xo. r > U3 North Third street , Camden. The HoV. Mr. Diverty performs them at present , but Ins name docs not appear. It is , therefore , con jectured in Camden that tlio articles of partnership of Dobbins & Diverty con tain a stipulation that the senior part ner is to have all the advertising. That tlio lirm is prosperous is attested by the city clerk's ligurcs. Their monthly product is seventy marriages. Even at the bottom market ligure of $3 this makes $140 per mensem to bo divided. No cap ital is required and there is no risk. The Hov. J. J. Sleeper is tlio only Episcopal minister engaged in the busi ness , and his returns are small. Ho has , however , hit upon a novel advertising scheme , which promises in time to put his receipts alongside of those of the lirm of Dobbins & Diverty. Mr. Sleeper has had printed on all Ins Jotters n map of the river fronts of Camden and Philadel phia , with dotted lines indicating what ferries may bo taken to his house -.it Cooper and Point streets , which is con veniently near the most-traveled ferries indicated. Mr. Sleeper has no Camileu charge , but cares for the spiritual wel fare of the llock of St. Ambrose , Twenty- eight street and GirarJ nvcnuo , this city. Though the reverend lirm of Dobbins & Diverty are far and away in advance of all competitors , there are other Camden ministers who do a snug busi ness in matrimony. All the ministerial merchant princes are Methodists. It is a cold month when the Hev. ( Jeorgo H. Wight , pastor of the Third Street Metho dist Episcopal church , handles jess than forty-live couples. The Hov. William P. jJavis1 business is looking up at the parsonage of the Hroadway Methodist Episcopal church' Ho has an average output of a couple and a third a day , or forty a month. Tlio Rov. John Heisler is rated at the same liguro at City Clerk Carman's ministerial commercial agency. A smaller busincssQis ( lone in Baptist nuptials. Still its volume is respectable. The Hov. Isaac C. Wynu rarely lies lys than two do/.on hymeneal knots in the .same lime. Presbyterian quotations are so small as to scarcely afl'ect the market. This line of goods is pretty much halulled by the Hov. William Hoyd , who has a reliable trade at from twenty-live to thirty a month , and the llev. M A. Hrownson , who makes a monthly return of ton couples. Anio/lg tlio Germans the Hov. J. II. Di/.Uigor loads , with an average of twenty a month. The Camden marriage market is thus controlled almost entirely by clerical operators. Tlio only layman whoso busi ness is at all considerable ns Justice Cassaday , who , in Ids ollico near the Federal street ferry , has a comfortable trade of a couple a day. Justice H.V. . Korswpll's tnifiinoss is more remarkablp for its romantic than for its remunerative features. The judge is a young Englishman of dark eyes and poetic temperament , and takes u deep interest in all the handsome voting people who stand up before him. He has had many cases which would form very good hinges for tlio plot of a novel of incident. Ono was when one stormy night last spring a hack drove rapidly oil' the boat which ho was about to take on a sudden errand to Philadelphia. The young man leaped from it as soon ns the wheels were on Jersey soil , and , rushing up to thu gatoman , anxiously asked to be shown tlio way to a magistrate. "Hero is ono , " said the gatoman , at the same timu pointing out Justice Kera- woll. "For God's saKe do not joht , " enid the young man in an agitated tone. "It is no joke , " fcaid the kindly voice of the young magistrate. "What can I defer for your" "Tillio , " called thoyoungma ! ) , turning back and swinging open the carriage door , "Providence has thrown the means of our union directly in our way. " The justice stood upon the carriage step and made the prettiest girl ho says ho has seen since ho loft England ono of tiio happiest. Freeholder Fitzgerald married eight couples by authority of his position us a member of t'.io highway comantteo. Mayor Pratt celebrate * the union of all the young Quakers who elope from this side. Since October two huckmon have bought now 11,200 barouches ; ono min ister has declined a donation party , and a cranky stockholder of one of the ferry companies has demanded an investiga tion into the refusal of the corporation to declare an extra dividend , City Clerk Carman said yesterday that Philadelphia was by no means the only source of supply , npr wns Pennsylvania , Much businoH came from Dataware , where the groom had to give a bond in $ uOO tisat ho would support Ids wife for B > X months mid pay sfIKH ) for the ilocu * mont. "Hut the principal cause of the boom , " said Mr. Carman , ' 'Is in the fact that men don't want to go and set down their wives' names and pedigrees before a country ofliclal. Then , you sco , they have to swear to the figures. Hero if a girl gives her word that she Is eighteen and the man that ho is twenty-one that is enough to save the minister from the $ MO penalty and the couple from prosecution for perjury. Tlio whole volume of Camilen mar riages is since the passage of the Penn sylvania marriage license law between -75 ami ; > ! 0 a mouth Hoforo that time it was between thirty and forty. THE HAND.ORGAN BUSINESS. JIow tlio Ollve-C"ompto\lonetl Sou or Italy Keeps tin with the Time * , An olivc-couiplovionod son of Italy , his hat , clothing , anil particularly his shoes , evidencing long service and hard ufago , struggled up the two Ilights of steep stairs that led to the factory of ono ol the most prominent manufacturers of tdreot organ * In this eity , the other day , says the Now York Star , and shitting from his neck the greasy lealiiprn strap that sup ported an org.m on his back ho placed the iustruuuMit on the lloor with evident relief. Taking his hat oil' , ho gave a nod of recognition to the proprietor of the establishment and proceeded to mop the great beads of perspiration from Ids low forehead with a verv dirty and ragged silk handkerchief thai might in its palm ier days have been orange-colored. This operation liui-dipd , he said , pointing- the rusty-looking box before him with an expression of the most absolute disgust and with a video full of tooling ! "iNogood ! " "What is the matter with it ? " asked the proprietor of tlio place. " /e instrument no play a good tune. No make a money. It itoo /ad. too /low. Pull a out M old tune. Make a play /o quick inn/.ica. Put inat now tune , 'Pop Goes y.o Weasel. ' " ll-.ving been assured that the instru ment would be enlivened forthwith , and that bo might call for il in a few days the the Italian gave a parting look at the picture of Genoa in the front panel , and shambled oil. When ho had disappeared , a reporter who happened to bo present during tlio above dialogue said to the fat , jovial-looking organ-maker anil repairer , whoso countenance bore an amused smile : "What is to bo the latest agony in hand organ music , or in other words , what are to be the tunes that will sot all Ne.w York cra/y this fall ? " "That is a pretty hard question to answer , " lie replied , "as it depends very largely upon the taste of the respective musicians. Some of them know what they want , and some don't. Hut , as most of them leave it to mo to make the se lections for them , why , ol course , I have to keep up with all the latest music , and 1 put in siicli times as 1 think will bo most popular. That man who just wont put ot bore is a fair illustration of bow ignorant some of these men aro. Ills organ was too sentimental for his gay nature anil ho wanted a lively air or two to substitute for 'Old lliindrd , ' or 'Tlio Heart Howcd Down. " Now someone has told him that 'Pop Goes the Weasel' is the right tiling. Of course , that is played out long ago. and I shall have to give him something ot the .same nature that is not quite so ancient. " "Do they come in often to have now tunes substituted1' "O , yes ; about every six months , some times oftoncr. You see it costs $ -1 or $ C to get a now time put in. They generally have two done at once. An ordinary street organ plays six or eight airs , and they keep changing them until they got what they like , and then very likely they will rim along on the same barrel for quite a while. Some of the latest sopgs' that will probablv run this winter are 'Hocking the Haby , ' 'White Wings,1 and the 'Cricket on the Hearth. ' Then there is the 'Lullaby' and 'When Love is Young. ' from that now comic opera 'Ermlt'io.1 Wo get a great many songs that are popular from England. 'Sweet Dreamland Faces , ' 'Going to Mar ket , 'Tit for Tat' have taken very well and will , no doubt , run for some time yet. Ilarrigan hasn't got out anything new as yet , bat wo will probably near from him HOOD. In the meantime , yiaxtcr Avenue. ' 'Don- ny Grady's Hack , ' 'It Showered Again' and 'Put on Your Hridal Veil1 will still remain on the barrels. Scanlan's now songs , I expect will take well , and 1 will probably put his 'Hose Song * and 'Gather tno Myrtle with Alary1 into some of those organs you sco hero , 'The Mi kado' is beginning to got played out , and will have to take a rest. Wo will run the 'Gypsy Huron' and 'Little Tycoon' for some time yet. " "Do old tunes over revive ? " I "Yos , indeed. Wo generally give the now tunes a run for about a year , and then hang them up for a while. If they lire very popular , they are sure to bo wanted again. " "is the hand-organ business on the de cline ? " "No , sir. Tliore arc moio street organs about to-day than ever before , although you may not notice so many tlio city has grown so largo. The business is too good not to have plenty of recruits. A good player can always make money at it. Ho knows that if ho goes into a fashionable neighborhood bo will bo recognized as n public nuisance and bo paid to move on , while in tint tenement districts he is wel come and gets all tlio spare pennies about to remain. So , you see , in both cases ho makes money. There are several establishments in New York and vicinity that supply hand- organs to the itinerant grinder , and whether they are indictable or not as public nuisances is a question which the sull'cnng public has refrained from test ing. Most of the followers of thU pro fession own their organs , but many of them rout them , A street organ is worth from $30 to $300 , and weighs from twenty to seventy pounds. The average weight , however - over , is about thirty pounds. They will last , if properly made and handled , in the neighborhood of twenty years , and can be repaired so often in tlio meantime that very litllo of tlio original instrument will remain in the end. There is the greatest diHorcnco between players , and it deus not follow that two men will , with the same organ , imiKo the same amount ol money , A poor player will collect barely 00 or 70 cents fora day's work , wnilo a good , bright performer , with plenty of expression , will gather in $1 or 5 bo twcon sniiritii and Minsot. The business yields 011 an average $2.150 or ? 3 a day. One of the best-Known organ -grinders several years ago was a.young and pretty Italian girl about Stwonly years ot ago. She was strong and well built , and , con sidering the load she carried , retained a very plump and attractive figure. Shu did well in the business and caught as many buaus as she did pennies. Her dark eyes and gentle music proved too much for a uu&coptiblo young German , \rhn.io blonde , curly hair at tracted ail the ticrvaut girh in the neigh borhood to his father's Third avopuo grocery. The fair organ grinder eon became awaru of thisatuhmon ! ami man aged lo serenade tlio simp with a luno or two every other day. She coquetted with the young Toulon fur seine time , [ and linalfy came to die conclusion that the loyd of married lift ) were pruluniblo to liur precarious If independent o\Utonco , and yielded to the young grocer's suit. All might have been well were it not that the bridegroom'-- ! father woke IIP onulino morning to lind the contents of Ida cash dr iwfriii'l sufii gone , and his son ami hir wl'n it. They hail closed , no ono Uncw where- .