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* r THE OMAHA DAILY BEE ; SUNDAY OCTOBER 31 , 1886.-TWELVE PAGE& . 11 AMOK THE WITS AND WAGS , A Pen Picture of the Toughest Town In All Kansas , THE OflGArl GRINDER'S FATE. Fnlo I..unn TrnKcdlep , Tlin .School i , Street MKIIK , nml n Variety of I'lttiy , Pointed The Interrupted Hcvcl. They stood In thcbaiiuom dilnkiiiff , Thewhl-ky and beer \ieio prime ; As the.vdiaiik , no doubt , they \\urc thinking They were having n "high old time. " The beer that they diank was Uas , Tin ; Domlmii was eld and MIOIIK ; And thev erleil as they clinked their "Won't somebody slug us a SOUK' . " ' Jlnt just In the niMst of their stii-tlni , ' , hi the inl'Nt of the mirth they made They heaid a melody ilnglm : On nnoigan soltly played , " ' .Mid pleasure * nnd palaces , where o'er wo may roam , Ho It ever so humble , there's no place llko home. A chin m fiom the skies scomi lo hallow ns theie , Which , seek through the worlu , Is not met with cKowheie , Home I homo ! sweet , sweet homo I Theie's no place. like home , there s no place 1 1 lo home. " * > * # * As the notes of the organ-grinder Aioseon the still nluht air , They came as a sham lemlnder Of home and the loved ones there , Tim t lasses no more me rlinklns ; . The mil 111 Irom the group has lied : And the checks llmt llu hcd With drinking , With the hliiah of .shame are red , Mo moie from the brimming classes They blow elf tlie snowy loam ; And Into the street each passes And takes the pathway home. Then out to the street , in a passion The barkeeper sttnlghtw.iy r un , Ills U'ctli with anger gnashlm : And ho walloped the organ nun , A Tonsil Town , Letter ill Now York Times : Dodge Cijy is the railroad terminal for emigrants in search of bulliilo Dodge City wns named after Col. Dodge , who commanded Fort Dodge , on the outskirts of the town , and i believe ho did not long survive the dis- jiraeo. Dodge City is not lar e , nor would its commerce excite the envy of oven Chicago , but for pure nnd brilliant ciiH.scdness it bus no equal in the country. The principal street contains twenty- throe saloons , seventeen dunce-houses , and twenty-one faro banks in two blocks , and there is n large and populous ceme tery near by , tenanted mainly by gentle men of a. convivial turn who hail once .started in to have a little fun with the boys. An ethereal young man from Phil adelphia arrived at Doilge ( . 'ity the other day and made imiuirie.s concerning his brother , who had como Ihere for his health a. month before. He was referred by thu stationmaster to a saloonkeeper half-way up Iho bloci ; . The ethereal yomijj man found the saloonkeeper sit ting in the doorway honing a bowie-knife , and made known his wish lo lind his missing brother. "Ver wanler lind Ueginal K. Smiths" queried the saloonkeeper. "Keg-in-al K. -lomnio .see 'taint John ,1. Smith , is its no , he kem from Texis 'n got knifed over 'n Kill Chowder's dance-house las' week , llt'ciniil K.--biirc his name's Smith ? can't bo that .you're looking for u chump named Higgins that Broncho Jack plugged yesterday * no ? well , well so many ot these d d tenderfoot ' com'm1 and go'in' Ueginal did ho wear blue ! goggles ? " Hie young man nodded. "Kinder sickly-lookm' cuss nat'ral d-d tool ? " The young man intimated that possibly his brother might answer to that descrip tion. tion."O h--l him ? Why didn't ' you .say so before he's dead. " "Dead ? " echoed the horrified young man , ' 'lieader'n beeswax. " "How how did ho die ? " "Suicide. " "Suicide ? " "Called me a liar. " The young man returned to Philadel phia. How Much lie MUticd III Wife. Newman Independent : "JJrotlierSmilh , I am sorry to learn of your bereavement. When did your wife die ? " "Two weeks ago , Urother Urown. " "I suppose you miss your dear wife qulto frequently , do you not ? " "Yes , 1 missed her last Saturday night and ve.sterday morning more than over. " "How came you to miss her more than iKiial yesterday morning ? Did some thoughtless person tear open your bruised heart alresh by an unfortunate remark in regard to the death of your wife ? " "Iso , indeed , Brother Brown , t missed her because I had no ono to scratch my back. " _ Clinlr "Wanted. Wife ( just home from the camp-mcot ing ) Wo have had such a glorious meet ing to-day. You know what nn invalid MM. BiMiton has been for fifteen years ? Husband Yes. Wife Well , if there over were saints on earth , she's ono of them. She say.1 she has sat all through those long year ! in her invalid reclining chair without ! murmur , and in perfect peace and con tcntmont. Husband ( very much interested ) Is i pos.-iblo ? 1 wish you would got tin jiiunu nnd address ol the man who mndi that chair. Blio Wouldn't Take Oft Any Moi-o. To\as Sittings : An excessively modes young lady from Boston , who was at th seaside , decided to take a buth , and afto remaining a long time in the bathing house she enlarged in a very long nml very ample bathing costume. She , hoover \ \ over , retained her epoclnc-los upon he nose. "But you are going to take o your spectacles , nro you notv" asked 'female companion. "Never , " she n opouded , blushing deeply ; " 1 hav alrond been obliged to remove so man articles that 1 won't taKe olV anothc thing. " _ A Moonlight Tragedy * A. maiden stood In the pale moon's light , blng he ) 1 tor the oih of night above , blnir hey t for tliu lover who clasped imr tlgl With n warm , warm , medlawd love. The maid was n winsome lass and fair , Ah mo ! her father w.is rich and old , JJutlmhawllnouch his glasses the youtlifi And ho loosened his bnlhlog.floioe and lol Sin 'oin ! ho murmured In accents low , And over the lawn did lhat bulldog danc Till ho hleked thu lever well , jut.t below Wlicio iho back of his braces held up h junta. _ lie Must Hu > o Ilucn nn Umpire. Pittsburgh Dispatch : Dining a thundi Btorm recently in a town up in Now Yoi btato a man hurrying to n shelter wi knocked seubde&s by a Hash of lightnin Ho was taken into a hotel , and after 1 liad boon labored with for some time 1 recovered. Struggling to his feet 1 pf/.ed upon the anxious faces surroun 5ng him , nnd remarked with an nir Foverity : ' 'Gentlemen , if order has been restore wo will proceed with the t'nmo. " Manner * at tll Hub. Boston lU-jeonls Two visitors ono mor in" wore doing the Public Garden , J in Jiuiiittiiscd \ before the italyo ueartl Commonwealth avenue entrance , nml , falling to recognize its bronzcn features , they tysolvcd to qtieMion the lirst passer by. This proved to be a dignified old gvtitlelnan with gyld-rimmcd spectacles , "Pardon me , fir. " said the spokesman. "can ion toll mo whoso statue that isV The old gentleman only gave them a cold stare in reply and matched on The nest piuser-by , a stylishly dressed young lady , was appealed to with a like result. "Polite people ) these Bostonians/'said number two. Then a very dtnlr young innn with an umbrella passed through the gateway , and to him the question wu put , the only response vouchsafed being a .slight eleva tion of the nose skyward anil a vigorous use ot the umbrella to quicken his foot steps. It was strange treatment , to say the least , but finally , as a laborer ap peared upon the scone , with a kit of tools swung over his shoulder , they resolved to make just ono more effort. " ( iood morning , sir,1' said the spokes man , with a very bland smile , "will joti kindly tell mo the name of the person this statue is intended to represent1 A very contemptuous glance , and then , ns the man strode on : "Ueorgo Washing. ton , you d d fool ! " The Street Chlcaaa llemM , Did you ever pay attention In yonr lambles almul Iheslieet To the little p tinted sign younre always sine to mi't'ti' To iho little wooden Injun who spends each day and nlirlit Studying tthore to send nblow he never Ill- lends to strike' . ' Then theic's the little glided clock , with Us hands a-iminting stiaight To the dotlots nicked out by heller clocks , when I t'.s n quilt tor alter ublit ; , And tight loiiuu the corner on an Iron ted Is hung Theeilmson shlngloof n laiindryimin , who calls hlnibelf Ah Lung. Then theie's the druggist's mortar nnd the dentist's ' wooden | a\\s , And tlm turner. * bassuood bear with Us clumsy ont.itretched paws , But the coal dealer stin gles on despite his \\nllish name , And without sign or grn\cn image gets there just iho same. How the llnrber Kout Tnlly. "No , sir , " said a barber to a suspicious looking trriisient customer , who allably remarked , as the lather was being laid on , that ho supposed there were a good many men who failed to pay their shav ing scores. "No , sir. I used to give credit , but 1 r.ovcr do now. Jn fact , nobody asks for tick any more. " "How's that ? " "Woll , yon sec , " said the barber , trying the edge of his razor on his thumb-nail , " 1 hnda sotof still's who used to ask mete to chalk it down. I got tired of keeping books and 1 adopted a. new sy.slem. Whenever I shaved ono of those old standbys I put a litllo nick in his uoao and kept tally in thai way. They got so they didn't want to run bills. " There was a tremor in the customer's voice as he asked Irom beneath the lather : "Do you object to being paid in advance ? " A ComlciiHCil Society Novel. rii.vrrr.it i. "What is that voung man doing , Hor- touso ? " "lie is mashing. " "Mashing what ? " " .Mashing us ' 'II\I'TIK : n. "What is that large man doing , Hor- tensoV" "Ho is mnahmg. " " what " "Mashing ? "Mashing the masher. " "Kor what * " "Kor mashing. " niAl'l'KU III. "What place is tins , Hortensc1 "This is tlie St. Louis workhouse. " "What is that young man Uoitig ? " "Mashing. " "Mashing what * " "Hocks. " "What does ho mush rocks for ? " "J'or mashing. " Tin ; School Murni. ll'ci.iMiiuliui Ciltlc , Oh , School Mm in I Thou who toauhest the young Idea How to scoot , and spankest the eistwhllo Festive small hey with a hand that taketh the trick : Who also lamoth him with a hickory switch , And crownoth him by laying the weight Ot a ruler upon Ids shoulders , Oh ! Thou art a daisy I Thou makc.st him the national emblem lied , white , and blue Thou fiirnlshi'th tlie stripes , And hoseetii the stais. Oil , Srhool Mnrm , Wo couldn't do without thee , And we don't want to try ! Thou art lovely and accomplished Above all women , and It thou ait Xot mairied , it is because Hum art Too smart to bo caught that way I All school inarms are women , Hut all women are not auhool mat ms , And , angels pjdagogie , Thai's wheie thou hast the bulge on thy sisters ! Oh , School .Maim ! Thou mayiist not get much pay liniu below , Dill uhcan education is n national specially , And thou wilt g t thy lowaid In heaven ; The only drawback being that thou staycst theio When then goest after It , and we , Who remain heio below for our toward , Miss \on llko thunder. School Mann , it tlicie Is anything wo can defer for you Call on us ! Apply early ami avoid the rush ! Oflico horns from S A. M. to r > P. M ! Wo were a schoolboy once oursolf , And can show the marks of III MukliiK Provision AenliiHt Tight Money. Pittsburg Dispatch : At breakfast time yesterday morning ono of Pittsburgh Lost olti/.ons looked uneasy and suspi cious. Finally , ho remarked to his wife as ho sampled a roll : "Sleep well last night ? " "Yes , dear , fairly well. " "Didn't lind a man under the bed when you looked for him last night ? " "No , dear. " "Aud you didn't hear any burglars about thu house ? " "Why , no , dear. " ' 1 tlfought you didn't , " ho roplicd , with a sarcastic smilo.ou didn't wake mo up once to go down stairs to chase him out. Pd like to know , though , whore that live dollar gold pinco , those throe silver dollars and those hnlf dollars and qnarter.s 1 hud in my pocket last night when 1 went to bodhavodisappeared to.1 " 1 have thorn , my dear. " "Tho deuce you hnve ! " lie exclaimed , astonished by the openness of the con fession. nl "Yes , dear ; I road in our paper thai money is tight in the east , and you know il. it is just as likely to get tight hern OR 11 il.o is there ; so I thought it ucM to take i away from you. " o , Is A Doubtful Market. Wall Street News : "Now , my dear , ' ho said as ho prepurod to leave home ar after supper , "tho market hnsbcou fever ark it.h . nil day. " us " 1 boo. " usK. "If wheat should go up a cent or tw < K. 10 this evening I might not bo homo uiiti Into. " 10 1C "Kxactly. " 1Cd "Aud in case wheat goes down don' dot expect mo before midnight. " "I see , Well , dear , you run along j keep your we on wheat Rud stay as It , as you care to , for I've uskod Colone llaskins ever to play whist this evening and he'll bo sure to stay until midnight. ' The fever Biibildod and wheat stooi . still and tno liusbaml ws back before ! lie o'clock. WOMAN ASD HER WORK , A Poetic Panegyric on the Spanking Hand of tha Tender Sex. SOME FIELDS OF EMPLOYMENT. The Nobility of Motlicr -Imw Women ns Mirrors of Knslilon ( intl Occupants of Bti-eel CnrM 'As sorted Select lone for Women. The Ilnml of Woman. ITVlllam Itntt ll'iii'iirr. Hle slngs on thu hand nf woman 1 An. eft guaul Its strength nnd grace In thep'ilaee , cottage , liuvol. 0 , no matter where jlio place ! Would that net or storms iwalled It , Italnbuws over ten tly curled : For the hand that locks thu etmlle , Is the hand that rucks the woild. Infancy's thu tender fountain : Power inny with beauty How ; .Motlii'H lirst to guide thu streamlets ; From them .souls unrcstim ; grow ; Grow on for thu need or evil : Sunshine streamed or darknes hurled ; For thu hand that rocks the ciaille , Is thu hand that locks thu world. Woman , how dlvliu < yonr mission lleic niton our natal soil I Keep , O keep the ymmit hi'ait open Always to the. breath of ( ! od I All tnio trophies of thu nees Aru fiom .Mother Love Impcarled ; For thu hand that locks tlu ; uiadlc , Lsthe hand that rocks thu world , tliu hand of woman ! Father ; ? . .tons and ilnuelitcrs cry And the sacii'd soil ) ; Is ml ML ; led \Vltli thu worship In thu ski ; . . .Minnieshero no lempi'sldaikens , italnbous iwerinnie am hurled : For thn hand that locks the cradle , Is the hand thai locks thu world. Woman 11 nil HIT Work. New York Independent ; Thut woman's work is underpaid , thai few lioldt ; or re- imnii'rativi ! employment arc open to womoti , thut in tno matters of work anil wage * they art1 , In ijoneral , oppressed mid wronged , are prevailing notions among a largo number of women who seek cm- ploymunt , nnd also among many kind- neiirled people whoso knowledge of the subject Is fortunatel.y tor themselves limited. Itistrni ) , lamentably true , that there tire very many struggling unfortunates , gasping in life's ocean and catching at strawy , because they have not learned how to swim. Lamentably true that many poor creatures are wearily singing thu song of the shirt , sometimes oven mothers with young children to feed , who cannot , by their steadiest work , con trive to earn more than 00 cunts per day. Our charity sooi"ties arc-continually find ing such cases , ami hundreds of others ilrair along a miserable existence , and perish without aid or recognition. Hut this sad state of things is not because the sufferers are women , excepting as it is the natural result of the general hlftlc sncbs in thu training of girls. AJboy of .seven less than the average brightness of mind and that is not great soon discovers what a woman of even more than the average ability isslow to lindout , namely , that work is paid for. not that thu laborer may live , but because the result of the labor is something that is wanted. If the tiling ho makes , the work he. does is worth-fl , ho gets it ; if it is worth more , liu nets more ; if less , ho gets less. This very speedily brings him to thinking what kind o'f work will return him thu mo tmonej , and this again shows him that the product of skilled labor is worth more , than that ot unskilled ; and , if thu boy bo not hopelessly la/.y , he will speed ily apply hiniMill to learning how to do MJmetnnvg that will command its own price. It the exclusive , sordid , sellish aristocracy of the trades-unions does not shut him out he will learn a trade ; and , as a good mechanic , he has an assured future. This is , of course , always np- poking that the boy has no bad habits ; if thu.se have fastened their gangrenous con tagion upon him that is another thing. The average bov knows , from his ear liest days , that he must depend upon his own cll'orts for his own .support and that of his family should he grow to bu a man. The average girl is taught by every con ceivable influence that her part in life is the passive one ot being supported. When she wants something .she does not already possess it never occurs to her or to any member of her family that she might or ought to be able to earn the mone.y which would procure it. Shu simply asks "papa" to give her the cov eted object , or mamma asks papa for her , or she asks her uncle or her big brother. If once asking does not sulliee , persis tence generally meets with success , es pecially if accompanied by coaxing Miiile.-i or kisses , though a final resort to reproaches and tears is .sometimes neces sary. Now this sort of proceeding is enervating and dogiading to the mental and moral llbre otthe person who resorts to it. The girl is the woman , anil such a woman should be likened only to a fungoid growth , drawing its sustenance from the decay of the stately tree which it does nothing to beautify oronrich. When the girl has grown to womanhood , if the father bo absolutely unable to sup port herind cannot possibly make both ends meet , necessity may drive her into seeking some temporary employment by which she can keep clothes on nor back , pending the eagerly desired time when she can Induce some young man to saddle himself for life with her maintenance. To such women marriage too often means nothing else but the certainty of having some one who shall be obliged to pay the bills which they incur. The idea that a true marriage is a loving , faithful partnership , in whoso welcome yoke hus band or wife should equally draw the load of life's duties , obligations , pleas ures and pains , seems never to dawn upon them. In the eyes of such women man is the solo burden-bearer. In point of fact , such illusions arc very often speed ily and even brutally dispelled , and thn poor woman , far from finding marriage a kingdom in which MIC is to rule , be comes the meekest anil unhappiest ol slaves. Then slio may abhor her slavery and the master whom she serves ; lie may cruelly n'ju&o both herself and her chil dren ; but , rendered a coward by the in- ellicicncy of her early education , she iluros not take upon herself the task ol feeding hungry little mouths or clothing growing bodies , "What can a pooi woman do ? " she fretfully muniiors , wip ing tier tearful eve , and takes the slave's weak revenge of rendering just as little service as possible. Or , Iho husband may prove to bo n good , honcbl , hard-working man , lovimj his family and toiling for thorn all hi.- days. While lie lives they have inuoli comfort : but ho dies , nnd the helpless , lie . wildorcd tinds herself speedily do Mti\tuj it woman nt * tj * vj ju ciJlCuCllltlO' prjvod of her comforts , and oven ot tin micossitics of lifo , nnd she knows noi which way to turn , because she has noi learned to do anything well. She doe : not know how to make herself and hyi work valuable to any ono in any diroo tiou. Like a bird with broken V.'lntrs the can only weary the nlr whcr , , , ) it ; , pus cry , or die a lingering death of uro longed htarvRiion. A woman with an active mind , trainoi to nso ils own powers , is never reducoi to such .strait-s as the CO cents per do/.er shirtmaking for anv longtli ot timo. Wi believe It to bo a demonstrable truth thu the poor creatures who permanently depend pond upon such starvation eiuploy'men uro either mentally or morally deficient Now wo do not say all these linrsl thinns because we do not feel for am sympathize with the ' poor holples wotuen , but because , as far as one weal voice can reach , wo want to bring liomi to parents ( ho knowledge of the ubsoluti necessity there is of bringing up thui daughters to work , to know how to earn ' thnlr own Iwing , that they may bo cor- inin never to join vhc immensearmv of Feminine Incapable * . The. existence of this army is not the fault of the glrK Give them the Same training that ynu do the bo.vs and lloy can take care of themselves - selves just nfc well. Make them pelf-re specting. Tench them that a willingness to allow others to overwork that they may do nothing Is as despicable in a woman as it is in a man. Show them that what is worth doing at all is worth doing Well. Hucv.ictingwith them. Allow no excuses for short-comings. This world's iunehiner.v- whether for tunately or unfortunately- not nln by philanthropists , although in a broad way lit workinus may bo in the interest/of philanthropy. Tiiorefore , while the world lasts It will always be true that the bc-t work commands I he highest pay. Whether the work be done by man or woman , rich or poor , sick or well , has nothing whatever to do with ' the question of pay. That this is true 'in ngard to skilled labor of all kinds needs no de monstration , and is equally true in re gard to all departments of human work. It is the money value of the work when done that determines the rate to be paid to the workman or workwoman. Mother to Hntio. Urotyr Mrrcilltli. Fleck of sky you arc" , DiiiiiL'il | | thioimli brane'ies ' dark. O my little one , mine ! I'lomlMMif the Mar , Outpour ot the. laik ; Ueam and song divine. .Sec this jireclons clft. Sti-enlUK m uo\v \ birth All my boiiiL' , for si mi Hal III to heaven can lilt. Heaven descend on eailh , Doth in ono bu mluet Ufo lulled you class When j on IHMSII and coo. You , mv little ono , mine ! Urookletihhp-tto KHISM , Daisy looks indeed t'li to dear Minshtnc. The Mothei'-tn-linw. Daisy Dean in Detroit I'rco Press : It is a mystery which no ono has yet solved why so many sad jokes are constantly being perpetrated about a man's mother * in-law. \ \ lint dreadful crime lias the unfortunate woman committed in pro viding the man with his wife that he should bear such an undying grudge against her ? .Now if it was tlie woman's mother-in- law who was made the butt of these jokes there might bo a grain of seu--i > in them ; for it is the man's motncr who has it in her power to make life a burden to thu young wile and not half try. As a matter of fact , a woman is usually proud and fond of her son-in-law it he only gives her the. ghost of a chance. When the youm/- couple lirst go to housekeeping who is it that comes in and with her good sense and practical experi ence titles them over the rough places ? ' mother-in-law. A man's - - It is the woman's mother-in-law who is moil apt to criticise and who exasperates the young wife , all too frequently : "My son is used to having things tlmsand so.1 "Aly son must have iliis or tiiat lor his mcal.s. " "Aljy sou. with hissmall income , should have jnairieda ; prudent , economi cal woman"i.etc. When the lirst/ibaby makes its appear ance , as well as the successive ones , who is it that stijps in and relieves the hus band of hi weary vigils and takes the load of careami worry oil' the wile's feeble shoulders and keeps the household machinery running smoothly ; ; The man's niothor-in-law. _ When lie and his wife plan to take a little trip together , who is it comes in and takes eliargu of the house and chil dren , so that they can peacefully enjov their holiday , with the restful thought" , "Mother is there , and it will bo all right" ? The man's mother-in law. When theru'is nioknoss or trouble in the house , who H thofaithful , nursu , the wi.so counselor , thn sympathizing friend ? The man's mother-in-law. And it , in the coarse of events , the wife dies , who is it that usually conies in and takes care of the children and keeps up the home till thu bereaved husband has time to look around and lind another wife ? A man's mother-in-law. And how does he reward her for all this devotion ? By making heartless jokes at her ex-- [ ) cnso and publishing them for other men .o snicker over ! Ingratitude , thy name is Man ! Women in Sirect-Car.s. Philadelphia liullutin : The man who sits in a street-car while ladies are standing - ing up is deservedly an object of reproach preach unless ho can excuse himself on the ground of ago or infirmity. As much as the American men are accustomed to speak with pride of their superior gentle ness and courtesy to the sex , it is a mat ter of doubt whether the surly and scllish follows who cling to tliuir seats in a car with a resolute tenacity in the presence of ladies who are standing up are not in creasing in number. T'o gentlemen with the true munly instincts of deference to women at all times aad in all places a man who does this is an object of con tempt. Hut while wo hold such men in aversion we are not curlain that women them selves are altogether iiii < le.sorvingof some censure. While it is right that they should oxnocl and receive the largest measure of courtesy from men , thuy often sooiii to forget that there are occa sions when thuy should yield what they exact. Their Bullishness in thu street-cars is sometimes as reprehensible as that ol the men , and there certainly is great room for improvement in tno code ol etiquette which they seem to adopt in their manners toward one another on such occasions. For instance , it is rare , very rare , thnl we behold a woman lender her sent to an aged or disabled member of her sex. I is a daily occurrence lo witness some oh lady hanging on to a strap and rntlol } 1'ostled about , while thu hunts are lilloi with strong and healthy women , whenever never think of rising. If they especially the young ones wore to know how grac ions and kindly such an act would make them appear in the eyes of men whosu good opinion is worth having , thuy wouh not loll back in their seats witti the colt and languid Indifference which they usually display. The sight df a young woman giving ho scat to an old man or to any man who i infirm or in physical distress is equally a rare. Jt is consequently not to uo wondered dored that there hro some mon who justify themselves for 'their ' own gross ncgn trcnco in this mfttlur of evory-day cour tesy by deolarim * that nlco women thorn solves are so fcell/sh / that they are not deserving serving of the good olllces of the stronge so\ . Tills does not excuse their ovvr churlishness , 'but there is , nevorthless. i good deal of truth in what they say , ' 1 h young woman who will give up her sea in a car to tinold or thu feubfo of botl H < -XCS ought ifl baseon muoli ofK'llor tillU she now is , , TlioVoinen' Who IlrcHS Well , From the French : Ago shows nowhere more plainly than about the throat nnr neck , and as a shelter to the pruduni woman some bonnet or shudo-hat strings , which to the wise are n veritable refuge Thu spectacle again of some stout wouiar tottering on Frond ; heels is one that hap pily is one that is not very often wit nessed ; it is occasionally , nevertheless The foot , perhaps , may have retained i pristine beauty. With pardonable pridi she contemplates that , foot and wishes others to do the samp. Let her sacrifice that foot , however , to a general welfare wearing her dresses long , and romombei that the little tottcrors supporting nn un wieldy weight transform her into a waltt ing nbsurdity. How about thin ladies 1 some might ask. Their position is not s quarter part so ri ky. Addition m tlleir trump card , bf course. Let thorn add freely , but tv'th a vast deal more cave than wlion young. Thu fre'hncss of youth bmig with it so great a chatm that ilress 'is subordinate. The IionK-VVnlsted Girl the Fashion. San l-'ranciseo Keptirt : N'ow is the time for the long-waisted girls to crow. They are the particular fashion. The old dame's Vagaries are many , and this fall ho has settled on long waists. All the horl and dumpy dears are struggling nward and upward , especially upward , vhile the lengthy women are striving for lore length and much limpness. ' 1 hese piral-wai ted creatures are not models t female anatomical lovoliness. but syni- nutry doesn't count when fashion holds lie numbers. or Intellectual Women. Medical and Surgical Koporler : Han nah Moore died at ( tfJoanna ; llaillie , SO ; Mary Itussnll Mitford , 7(1 ( ; Agnes Strick- and , 74 ; Mrs. S. C. Hall. 80 ; Madame do evigno , 70 , ( ieorcc Sand , 70 ; Mrs. Sid- Ions , 7(1 ( ; Mary Somerville , W ; C'arollno ' lorschel , ! 8 ; I'anny Mumble is living at "it , and Harriet Hcuchcr Stowe at the nun ? ago. Women Who Arc Talked About. Hhodo Island's census shows a prcpon- leronco of 11COO females in that state iloiie , Mrs. Hancock's book of remini.seoiieos ) f her lute husband will be published luring the coining winter. The daughter of Jell' Davis is an asPi- ant for literary fame. Shu has c mtvib- i ted an article to the North American Jeview. Madame Modjeska expresses herdisap- irobalion of the "star" and combination system in decided terms. She say.s it is 'wretched , abominable , soul-destroying mil the death of art.1 A girl employed In the coal mines m Jelgium works from 5 o'clock in the noruing till between ! ) and 11 at night. She loans from si.xty to seventy cars a lay and earns about -10 cents. Tins poor soul is only one of many. A woman out wo t has picked and sold ilackberries enough this season to buy tor husband a liddlo and a shotgun. I'luTu is no record that ho has shot and sold game enough to buy her a silk dross. Signora Salaxaro , an Italian author , ias written a book on the woman quo.- ion , advocating the broadening ot the ield of woman's work. She is also try- ng to establish u school of arts for girls n Koine. According to the Washington Star Miss Nellie Nevada Moore , of Pennsylvania , is cluut' architect and builder of a charming loitsu near Pittsburg , in which she lives. She wears trousers when doing men's vork , but when that is over she dons icltieonts again. The late Baroness do Rothschild was 10 ordinary woman. Shu numbered imong her friends Talleyrand , Hal/ac , lumholdt , Kiigono Sue , 1 hiors and Ho > - sim. The'-e were friends not to be bought ly money , ami indicate the woman's in tellect and strength of character. Mrs. Oiiphant is writing a series of articles , to appear in the Century during ho coming year , descriptive ot some of the celebrated men and women of Queen Anne's time , including the Queen , Juehuss Sarah , Dean Swift and Daniel ) o Foe. Mrs. Van Kcnssolacr will con tribute to the maga/.mc a series of papers ) i ; some of the typical F.nglish cathedrals , with illustrations by Pcnnull. THE ROMANOFS. A Family In "Which .Something Very Ijllco Insanity la Heredilary. The report ( afterwards denied ) of the killintr ot an imperial aid by the czar while under the hallucination lhat Ihc former was about to attempt the ruler's life has recalled the o\i.sloneo of tempo rary neurosis in the Komanof family ami Ihe fuel that the c/.ar forbade the ropub- liealion in Russia of Dr. Ireland's "Blot on the Brain , " ono chapter of which gives in detail the progress of the inlirm- ity in this family for thn last ! ! 00 years. 'Tho chapter in question begins with the atlroeilies of Ivan. Iho Terrible , that monster in human form , some iiicn of whose career of crimes may bo had from the fact that he massacred 27,000 people atone ono time in a single town. Ho and his son often had 500 persons tortured and killed in a day lor their pleasure. The relined cruelties ot Nero and Caligula were pun } ' when contlasted with the scale upon which Ivan conducted his attroei- ties. Ho wab .succeeded by Fedor , his pon. a weak-minded yonngrnun , who was .subject to epileptic lits. Then came n break in a family line till Michael Feod- orovilch , the lirst tsar of the Uomanof family , succeeded to the throne at the ago of sixteen. Ho , too , was mentally weak and was supplanted by hi.s son , Alexis. Alexis had by his first wife Feeder , Ivan , Sophia and several oilier daughters , mid by his second wife Peter and Nathalie. Feeder remained on the throne several years , but was weak minded and sickly. His brother Ivan was a hopeless imbecile. Upon Feodor's death his sister Sophia tried to make Ivan the T/.ar , that she might reign , but she had to give way to the force of character and in domitable will of her younger brother Pelor , afterwards "tho Great.11 In Peter the neurosis showed a tendency to con vulsions , and made his character a strange mixluro of solf-.sncrilico aud ty- rany , cruelty and humanity. Peter had only ono legitimate son , Alexis , whom ho put to dcalh. Ho was succeeded by Ids wife Catherine , who was fol lowed by Peter , the son of Alexis. With 1'etor II. , who died young , thti male line of the Komanof family became - came extinct. Ho was succeeded by Anna , a reputed danghterof Ivan. Shoadopteil a grandson of Ivan as heir to the throne. This un for tuna to prmco , sometimes called Ivan VI. , was supplanted by Kli/.n- bolli , a daughter of Iho great Peter. She chose for her successor Peter 11 , a grand son of her father by Anna of Holstein , Potter III was weak-minded and disso lute , and ho was dethroned , nut to death by his wife Catherine , tlio Ciorman princess. Tlio michastity of Catherine rendered it doubtful who was the father ol her only .son Paul , but as Soltikof was given the benefit of the doubt , and she wan an alien , it is pos sible that the present house is entirely foreign. Paul camn to the throne at the ngo of llnrty-llve , and proved a potty tyrant of the worst kind. Ho bccamo so obnoxious that ho was strangled , ! ) } ' his sou Alexander'consent , and the latter iisconi'wd ' the throne , Al exander inaerited his father's looks and disposition , and truces of Iho hereditary inhrmity were plainly visible. Ho ill" ; ' n natural death , however , i ' vl'H second son , Constantine ; ; , wns jmbuoilo. wns judged moapablo of reigning , RVK ! I'li urother Nicholas bectimo emperor in 1825. The insanity which seemed Intent in Alexander II. la thought to Jinvo broken forth in tlie i ro.scnt C/.nr. Ho has been subject to epileptic lits nud hal lucinations , and oflato year.s his troubles have been complicated by heart disease , sleeplessness and rheumatism. No Need to I'limim Hi * Itctiouroho , . Merchant Traveler : ' .Johnny , " < < aid Mro Joncri , "What are you taking that bucket of water down to the chicken * coop lor ? " " ( Jfling to pbur if on our old linn. " "Why , what for * " "Causa. Iwanted to find out how mnd you'd bu if you know that pn. kissed tin hired girl. Pu said But Johnny didn't uped to pursue his researches any further. Ho tound out right then. Tim lotcst dd < litlai in SmitJi OHnilnt , only iwn Muck , * aonlh of rrntei' of South Ouitilui < nnl lire Mtu-lf c < ifl of f/irf/rra/ Large and Choice Lots , "Wide Streets and ALleys - leys , Fine View , Easy Terms. M * ! ' further inn'tli'iittnv call on MORRIS MORRISON , * ? ? South t < 'Uh. ? < / Door Xorih of lloininl / . Tiie OMAHA STOVE REPAIR WORKS Dl'.AIiKUS IXCI.fSlVKl.V IN JSTO'VE PLEFIFIS. . Our slock includes repairs for all stincs ever sold in Oiimlm ami the west. Remember. It Njonrslovi1 we keep repair for. C. M. KATON , Jlmmjrer , GUI South St. . Del. .tones nnd Jackson. HOW TO ACQUIRE WEALTH. JVO 1'lllXKS OA'M' . ' Krci'H Vcnrnn-rti Jllllton J > Mrlbut- c < l. A DrttH'iHH Hrcrit MoHth > With a first pai meat of only $3 , you can acquire six ICoropcnn Government none ) * , which not only guaumtcca safe investment of capital , as at the worst the invested money must pc paid babut ' also oilers the opportunity to mnkc a fortune by win- ninjj a MI ; prize. ONLY 52 UUQLTIRKD tobuy a Roynl Italian , lee franc * gold bond. These bonds participate in Uii drawing. . , four drawings cvcrv yenr , and retain their oiig- Inal value until thu year til ! ) I Prizes of ' . ' ,000,000 : 1,000,1100 ; 5011,000 , ctc.fi.inc * will be drawn. Decides the certainty of icceivint ; back the 100 francs in cold , vou can win four times , n 3 ear , and so come into possession of a fortune. We oiler llicsc b nds for $8J , in monthly installments of $ ' - , or for cas.li at $ ' . ' 5 , as long as our sup- plj-lasts. Monevcan be > cnt by rcgUtoied letters , money ou'ers , or by expicsnnnd in return ue will forward the bond. The next drawing will take place on Novem ber lilHh. For furlhei iufotmation apply to , lliiit.iN HANKING Co. , 305 llroadway , New York. N. n. These bonds arc not lottery ticket * , and arc by law permitted lobe hold. SHERMAN ROAD CART. 1" BEST CART ON EARTH. " i I SINGLE , DOUBLE and LIGHT , I'JSlln. 1 . .111 In. B.tlln. s > . " y-iT. * s o. EASY , DURABLE and CHEAP. Crated free on board cars. , Aiiinu : s 7 ( SHAg , T , ALLEN , Manger1 , COLDWATER , Mich. Mimtlon Onmlia Doe , r' ' MET IN TIIE MOONLIGHT , A Wild Western Duel of Many Years Ago A Lattle With KuiVes. Imv "Avalaiiolic" Jem Smith and "Cinnamon Itlvcr" Orton Set- llcd mi Old Uriidurat tlio flase of rilcc'H I'cak. Chicago Herald : " 1'vo seen a heap o' lights in my day , " said an old frontiers man in Canuck Jim's place on Madison street the other night , "but the worst of the whole lot was the ono between 'Ava lanche1 Jem Smith and 'Cinnamon Hivor * Orton , which occurred at llie base of Pike's Peak during the gold fever days y'ars ago. 1 remember it as well as though it was fit last night. You see tlio men were nat'ral born enemies. They had lit every time they had mcteaeh other for y'ars ami y'ars , and each ono had been a-swearin' round the country that ho would grease his boots with the other's heart. They did not meet , however , until one night in September. Each was pilotin'a train across the plains. Both came together at the foot of the old peak just as it was a-gcttin * dark. Orion was n big , strapnin' follow , with long hair. Ho had but ono eye , 'Avalanche * having gouged the other out in a liirht they had y'ars before in the Arnpahoo country. Smith was a little , wi ry devil with eyes no bigger1 n lia/olnuts. Orton had knocked the lellow's nose out of joint and somebody else had cut his left click from the eye lo the chin. Smith was an ornery lookin' cuss , but holy knockneed Injun , how ho could light. "Woll , as I was n-sa.yin1 , the mon mot at the base of Pike's Peak. Il didn't take 'em long lo lind each other. They were ready to light it out then and there ; but the restof us objected to havin'any blood spiliin' round the train , for there wcro a heap o' women in the schooners who weren't a-hunkorin' to sco a light. It was limiliy agreed that the mon si ion Id meet at midmtrht in a sort of rnveno about half a mile from camp and litrht the old grudge out. once for all. About tweniy of us wont along tosoo that there was fair play. Orion wauled to light with pistols ; but Smith , who was mighty handy with a bowie , insisted that the thing must bo done witli knives. Jt was linuily iiirreoil that each should lire three rounds with his Colt's ' , and then , if both were still alive , knives were to bo used until ono or both wcro dead. When everything was ready Orton and Smith took oil' their blouses , and. stoppin' out into n little strip of ground where the moon shone brightest , paced oiltwenty feet and then stood with their bucks to each other. A moment later 'Kattlosnako' Ike gave Iho word lo lire. The tsvo mon wheeled around as ( illicit as lightuin' and discharged their guns with one crack. Orton caught a bull in his chin while Smith foil upon his knees , with a hunk o'lead in the shins. Ike again gave the word to shoot , and again tliu mms spouted lire simultaneously. Ortou now came down on his marrow bones with a hall in his right knoo. Smith was shot m the loft bhouldor and fell over upon his back. We all thought ho was done' for , but ho got up on hi.s knees ngain and cooked his weapon for the last round. Both mon wore covered with blood , and it was all they could dote to keep in u per'endic'lar ' ' position on their knees. "Ono , two , three liro1 ! yelled Iko. The two mnn bla/.cd away at oaoh other1 * head. Both wore shot through tiiu ixju'k , yet neither fell. " 'Draw your knives und close in,1 shouted Jlio. Jumping round like ti Sioux ludif.7 , with the Htomaoh-acho. The two mon dragged themnotvc.s within arm's roach of each other , and tlion begun 0110 ot the most horrUiJo buttles 1 over saw. Ift'ton was tint lirot to draw his knife from his bolt. Ho raised it high above his head and drove it into his adversary's b.icl : between thoshouldor-blmicK. Smith staggeied for a minute , but recovered in time to parry n blow aimed at his breaH Then the two men loll upon onch other , and rolled ever and over , oaeh trying lo grab the other by tli * throat. TliDtr hands were red < o the wrists , while blood ran oil' the- nhides of tlieir knives and spurted from thci woumU in their necks. Everybody was Hick of the sight'ci > pt Iko. Ho kept jjimpin' and yollin1 round the lighter * Jiko a madman , nmuilappm' Ids hands at ov .ry thnifct. For lifiec.ii minutes Ortou and Smith foiiuhl like doiuoiiH in the moonlight. U'lut.y Flushed f-nch other right and left until thin1 tainted from loss dt blood. Jt was nearly 1 o'clock wlion \ro walked in bett'cun them m | nirr4c.il thorn ( IKO c.aini ) . Orton died on iho way , and Smith , who never recovered con- f-cioiisnej-s , passed in his checks before sun-up. We .stuck two plno boards * at the heads of their uraves at tlio foot of the hill. The ono over Orion's mount. ' read .something like this : OIU'OX. o hleked by , ! IM : SMITH OLD "Wlion it came to writing nn inscrip tion for Smith's board , Iko called a council of the teamsters' to decide upon tlio writing. It was linally agreed to use tlie.se words : , IKM SMITH o ( iood as Licked by mi.r , Oirrox. SAMI : Tm.vo. "What caused the feud between those two mon ? Oh , that would bo hard to .say. They quarreled the first time they mot , and kept it up until they came to gether that fatal'ni ht. Holh were good men in their way , but it appeared as tlionjrh they had been born to exter minate one another. " Cost In IT . 500,000 to Humor a dill/l Hero is a coed story that Lndynnisscy , trot in C'onstaiilinonle : "We went down ns far as the French bridge , over which the contractor lost an immense lot of money in Iho following manner : The bridge was to have been finished by a particular day. but the contractor found that this would be impossible with Turk ish workmen unless he worked day and night. This ho obtained leave to do , and' the necessary lights and torches wore supplied at the Su'tan's ' expense. All wont well for a time , till the unfortunate contractor was told llmt he must open the bridge to lol a ship from the dock-yard pass through some lime before the bridge was finished. He said it was impossible , as ho would have to pull everything down , and it would lake two or three months lo replace the scallolding and pilc-drivinc machines. Ho went to the Ministers of Marino and Finance. They said : 'If the Snllnn says it must bo done it must , or wo shall lose our places , if not our heads. ' So the ship came out tt a cost of a little over i'100,000 and a delay ot three months in tlie completion of the bridge , all because the Sultan louud hi.s small son crying in the harem ono day , the child's grief being that , though ho had boon promised to bo made an ad miral , he could not .see hi.s flag hoisted pn IUH particular ship from the nursery win dows. So a largo Iron-clad was brought out from the dock-yard and moored iu front of Dolmabnrrtcheh to gratify his Infant mind , thus causing enormous in convenience to the whole town for months , lo say nothing of the waste of money , of widen tlio Sultan paid very litllo.and for tlio loss of whichI imagine , ho cared still less. " l''ATorlt DrlnkH ol'Orn.'it "Men , Tom Heed drinks water when ho is at homo. Senator Fryo , of Maine , drinks mineral waters , Secretary Bayard loves n big drink of pure rye , sllulitly mellowed with wnlor. Secretary Manning is a lempoiatoman , but ho can enjoy a .small botllo occasion ally. . Jon ISInckbnrii , of Kentucky , drinks whisky , aud llkc.s lo linbibo it out of utiii oup. . Nearly nil the New York City slalom- men drink be.er at homo and wine in Washington , Senator Kchmmds still slicks to the ion- live cocktail nnd do'/a not liky to ilrijiJf. alone. A jrh'is of vlmtiinur/nn nipped slowly vou-jc.s Snnsol C'o.i to obulitiuiH of wit an nothing else can. Senator Ingnllh' favorite drink is a mys tery , but f-olno of bin brother Honalor.sriny it Is vinegar. Secretary Lumnr drinks anything thnt uonuis along , and ! oes it as a soul horn gentlumnn .should. Senator Salisbury , of Delaware , Is par- H tl.il to a wlilpky sour now and then , U give ! , him inspiration. Attorney ( iunernl Oarland can drink anything and in any stylo. Arjutt fortis would not n > 'i\e hit nerves. , ' M'ti.i'.or Hoc I ; , of Kentucky , thinks rfiut any man who . poiU good whisy ) ; with water h a hi-alliou. I'res'deril ( Hnvulnnd is not averse to good whidky , but be ijrnfow plain , ovry- dny boor as u bovera'Jto. Tin : farmer's fnou'l ' luis f < r many years been Dr. ,1. II MnUcitii'H Volc-Uiu Oil Liniment , for horhus , cattU , . nuyti andhlK-ep.lt IIHS nioved its w'lt'th in a o ( ViUU3.