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iO THE OMAHA DAILY BEE : SUNDAY , MARCH 13 , 1887-TWELVE PAGES
"AN APPLIED ASTRONOMY , " Bolectlons Prom the Witty Writers in the Journalistic Eankfi STROLLING OUT TO SEE STARS Bill * Paid and "Unpaid Mr. Cohen Understood | IH UtiHlncss Ho Couldn't Write 1'olnta on Lout A Mule Item. Applied AMronotny. ll. Tiffany , < n the Century. Iln took mo ont to PPO the stars , That astronomic bora ; Iln salJ tliL-ro were two moons near Jlnrg , Whllo. Jupiter had four. I thought of coursu ho'd whisper soon What fourfold bliss 'twould bo To stroll beneath that fourfold moon On Jupiter with me. And whun ho spoke of Saturn's ring , I was convinced ho'd sav That was the very kind of thing . To oiler mo some day. IJut In a tangent oil ho went To doublu stars. Now that Wiis most suggestive , so content And quite absorbed 1 sat. Hut no. ho talked a dreary mess , Of which the only fraction Thatcatigtit my fancy , 1 confess Was "mutual attraction. " 1 said 1 thought It very queer And stupid altogether , For stars to keep so very near , And yet not come together. At that hn pmlleil and turned his Head ; I thought he'd camht the notion. He merely bowed good-nlisht and said Their safety lay in motion. Paylnc Off a BUI. Detroit Free Press : A woman who was owinc her grocer $10 was at the Third street depot yostenlny to take a train out of town , lie heard that she was coing away and made- all haste fpwn there to try and collect the bill. Ho found her calmly waiting on n seat , And approached her in a quiet manner. ' "J shan't pay , " she boldly replied. * nj't , madam , you had the goods. " "That ( tonsn't make any difl'orenco. " " 1 don't like to proceed to extreme measures , madam. " " .Now , look hero. " she said as she wheeled around at him , "if you don't get up and skip I'll call out that you are my divorced husband and trying to rob me of part of my money. There are 200 poo' plo in this room , and a policeman at the door , and tluro is a reporter talking to the ticket agent. Just imagine the sen sation. " "I can , madam. " "And you wantthosn $10 ? " "Oh , no , madam. I'll bo only too happy to make you a present of the bill , Wish vou a happy journey , and if you should return to Detroit please favor me with your patronage. Good day , madam.1 ' _ At the Mount Slnnl Poker Club. Now York Sun : It is Mr. Ulumunthal'f deal , and Mr. Cohen polishes his glasses hurriedly with a view to making a care fill survey of the shuillo. Mr. Hlumonthal's friend , Mr. Dinkel Rtcin , considers it an appropriate occa sion for a remark : "Mister Colion , I heart you vas a cool chudch of diamonds. Vill you kimllj look -ut dis chenuino bluc-vito , soll'en carat - " "Oxguso mo , " replies Mr. Cohen with out removing his eyes from the pack , "J Kill's no nddontion to diamonds or Uhttkey Dlumeutlial's deal. Ivas lookiu for , gl ubs. " _ Chestnuts Sot to Ithynio. Atlanta Constitution. Oh , what makes the chimney sweep ? And why did the codfish ball ? And why , oh , why did the peanut stand ? And what makes the evening cull ? Oh , why should the baby farm ? And why does the mutton chop ? p Can you tell mo what makes the oldcrblow * Or what makes the ginger pop ? Say , \vhy does the tcrrlbln bed spilne ? K And why docs the saddle horse llyV Or what does make the pillow slip ? And why do the soap boilers lye ? V "What made thn monkey wrench ? Or why should the old mill dam ? K And who did the shoemaker strike ? Or why did tho.raspbnrry jam ? Oh , why should a trco bark ? And what makes the wind howl ? Can yon tell mo what makes the snowball' ' Or what makes a chimney foul ? It Wasn't Paid. Wall Street Hews : A Now York drum tncr was tolling some chance aequain tancos in nn Indiana town about a man tifaQtunhg company having declared i dividend of thirty per cent , last year \vhon ono of the men proudly responded "Why sir , wo can beat that right hen in this little town. I'm president of : plow company which declared a dividom pi forty per cent , last year. " "And the dividend was paid ? " "Ut course riot. You know how thosi things go. It was to raise our coinmor P cial rating , of course. " li i lie mil's Man and the Mulo. Burdotto : The little brindle mule it the nigh load slipped on the ley pave luont , und Mr. Burgh's best man was 01 the spot. "Tako that mule and have hin sharpened before you take him anotho foot"Ho is sharpened , " said th driver , "rougher than a filo. Look a them hind shoes corks on 'cm that 'in trodga a hole through an ice house. " Th ofllcur lifted a hoof to sun , and straight way looked over the top of a foiir-stor ; building. Buzzingly ran the word througl the telephone , "One of your men ha been nearly killed by a mule. " Tender ! , back came the mutlled order , "Seo if tin mule is hurt , and if it is , arrest tin man. " _ r Too Soon. One of the party had been tolling hov n certain rich silver mine had been dis covered by n prospector shooting at : man and chipping a piece of rich ore ol n eliiV when an old follow in the corno observed : "I came within an ace of finding i mine just that way. " "How did yon miss ? " "Why , the man 1 shot at turned rouni nnd put two bullets into mo , and bofor I got out again the mine was di : covered. " She Wan Weary. James Payne , the novelist , In hi novel , "Thicker Than Water , " quote ono of the most pathetic und oxpressiv bits in the world : Hero lies an old woman who always wa tired , for she lived In a house where no servant was hired. Aud her last words on earth were , "Dea friends , 1 am o\ny \ Where no washing Is done , nor churning no sowing ; AVhcre all thluKS will bo Just exact to m wishes , For where there's no eating there Is no wast IIIK of dishes. I'll bovhero loud anthems forever are ring Inc. pr But , having no voice , I'll be quit of the slni \v lug. Don't mourn for me now , and mourn for in never , For I'm golngto ao nothing for ever an ever. ' , _ Ho Could Write. Detroit Free Press : This is the way h told it at police headquarters the othc day : "V hell , 1 vhas in mine place , yo know , und a feller cornea in and sayi 'Mister Blank , I make n hot nboudt yo chust ' ow.1 " 'Vhas dot so ? ' " 'Yosj I make a bet dot you can writ your name. ' ' "Of course I can write my nami Does spmupody take mo for n fool ? ' " Vlioll , you put him down on dl piece of paper und I make life dollar. ' "Vhull , I write my name on bis papc tnd hu goes oil und I doan see him any more. Yesterday I gel some notice from a bank dot a note for fcofty dollar vims luo , I comes down town und ilnds n note nilt my name on dcr back. It vhas dor paper on which I wrolo my uamo. " " \Voll ? " "Vhell , dot vhas all , oxoept dot I vhas a fool , und if you catch him I geof ono looncrcd dollar to keep my name oudt of der papers. " "Turn Orer. " The "funny man" wo do dotcst pUOtl J3I | UO PUBJ9 OJ PCI | Ol3 | JI Who alms at us Ills ancient Jest lA\oi.iiuo' | ) } | j ion nois | A\OU > I o\\ A joke ( ? ) so aged , stale , and hoary PUDJ . ( puaiu | 9otH , | mood spu , The same old weary , dreary story 3UpJtt | ] | V OJ SltlilD tll ! J80 ll.Ott .ttOJC Of how wo curious daughters ot Kvu AVOtl * t ! JO pit ] ? ! JSU3I Oll | MOn 01(9 ( JI ( Though this latter fact wo deeply grlovo ) Motioutoi 1110 j | pun | | , oi | < ! } . > < l not 11151 Must stand on our heads a point to lind ! A\OUH } lou ji3no | mis 3utii3iuos | , u Inthcsccotnlcal ( ? ) lines from the "funny man's mind. UVUIOAV eauioM auin. | < ua 8,0:101(1 : ( JI Points on Lent. Somno liant The policeman. 1'reva Lent I'o/crty. SI Lent The muswump. Ito Lent The usurer's monoy. Kucou Lent Knilish scandals. Condo Lent " 1 told you so. " Redo Lent The spring onion. Trueku ( ) Lent The baggage man. IS IT SENSE OE NONSENSE ? Written /or Uic lice l\i \ U'Mltum 11 * . IMtincr. That is , at least , a plausible proposition ot Robert Burns , that "what is no sense is nonsense. " It is a dictum , however , which , as wo shall sec , has often boon violently contested. Ono might say that to deny such an apparently obvious truth would bo proof of insanity ; but we must bear in mind that theio is pretty good authority for saying that no man is en tirely sane on all subjects. Reputable writers have hold that the pyramids of Egypt were the production ? of nature ; and no less a man than Alexander Von llumboldt once wrote an essay with the express purpose of disproving this no tion. Kveu. in our own time a well-known professor in a Scottish university has published a book to show that ono of ramids was built by divine inspiration , will bo no wonder , therefore , if at some future day there shall be learned works written to show that the ocean cables "growed" likoTopsy "growcd" as the nerves do in tiio human body. Well , now , quito as extravagant things have been .taught in regard to Christian ity as in regard to pyramids. Perfectly pyramidal absurdities have often been stoutly maintained by very learned men. And these absurdities have been much more numerous than the actual absurdi ties about these Egyptian stone pilcsand than the possible absurdities about the cables being terrestrial nerves. That great , good man , John Calvin , whom a largo part of the Christian \vorlu swear by , and another largo part swear at , taught as an integral part of Christian ity , that the Creator "sends ono to heaven ana ten to boll , all tor His glory , nnd not for any good or ill they've done before Him. " That transccndant man , Pascal , whom , for his clear perceptions , all the world honors , says that nothing can "bo more contrary to the rules of our miserable justice than to damn eternally a child born now for a crime committed six thousand years before fore it came into being. " And yet Pas cal accepts as a part of Christianity the doctrine that the children born at this day are justly punishable tor Adam's sin , and says that "without this incompre hensible mystery wo are incomprehensi ble to ourselves. " That other wonder ful man , Martin Luther , who hated the devil so llercoly that ho not only con- stantlv wrote against him with all his mightj hut actually throw his inkstand , ink and all , nt him , used to say that if any man had believed in Jesus Christ he would certainly bo saved "though ho should commit adultery and murder ton thousand times a day " and thid doctrine ho declared was the corner-stone of Christianity. These arc only n few specimens out of the hundreds that might bo given. A result of these teachings is , that a great many people say , and I suppose , think that Christianity is nonsonso. This is n question worth looking at. For , if Christianity ia the shipwreck of reason nnd common sense as well as nn in centive to immorality , as Martin Luther would seem to make it the farther we keep from it the better. Because , few of us have any sense wo can afford to throw away , and fewer any morality to spare. Now , for myself , in connection with this matter , I have great faith in two things in the solid , practical , common sense of the great mass of my fellowmen men , and in the solid , practical , sense ol Christianity , as its great author hiiusell taught it. Surely it is but fair to let thu Christ himself dolino what christianitvis , And surely it is not fair to allow men to pile up mountains of rubbish the rubbish produced by con tending factions on the top of the great gospel , and then to say , because the oyerl.vmg rubbish is rubbish , that the underlying gospel of humanity is rubbisli too. The greatest teacher the world ovci had the teacher sent from God has some rights which wo , common , strug gling , suffering , hoping , fearing , men nro bound to respect. Let us , then , per nut Hun to say what Ho moans , and il His moaning seems to as , like Himself , "full of grace and truth"lot us take il for what wo can see it to bo take it upon its own merits , and give to the Groal Master the credit which we can see it His duo. If any man , or sot of mon , for bid us to use this method of reason and fairness , and insist that wo shall take their doctrines , or their authority , we can make two easy and suflicicnt replies , Wo can sa3 * , that the Christ , rccogniz- ing our intellectual liberty , tolls us to "call no man master" on earth , And wo can say that ho denounced a. ' vicious the practice of "teaching foi doctrines the commandments of mon. " And wo can emphasize all this by citing the notorious fact that the ccclosiastical in stitution of His time called Him blasphemer mor , Sabbath breaker and devil ; and tin ally put him to death because Ho wouk not obey its dictation , but persisted in proclaiming that on earth there wa. < nothing sacred but man ; that Sabbath : and ecclesiastical institutions and everything - thing clso were of no value save ns thoj ministered to the welfare and upbuidlinf of men , women and children. Ho insistci that man was God's child and that tin world was the primary training school the first grade for the divine offspring and that everything , family , sUto.churci every institution ot every sort must tint the justification for its existence in its usefulness to man. Ho even weni farther than this , and declared that mot themselves wcru to judge of the useful ness the rightfulncss of the institution : nnd the teachings of their times. His words to mon which the authorities o the world have been very slow to heai and hoed , nro : "Why , even of yourselves } udgo yo not what is right. " This is i air and open appeal to common sonso- the common sense of all of us coinmor men , to decide for ourselves , in the frees use of our faculties , both upon the merit : of His teachings , nnd upon the merits 01 demerits of everything on earth. Anc His greatest apostle , St. Paul , gives thi : advice to the disciples of Jesus Christ ir His time : "Tost all things ; hold fast that which is good. " Men sometimes suppose Christianity tc bo nonsense , because they have got tin idea from some bad spooiraonb of BO called Christians , that Christianity re quires mon to bo sad-faced , melancholy ascetic , monkish , unhuman. Well , sucl things have been often taught in thi name ot the great Christ , just as all othtr absurdities have. But if anything is clear in this world , it is the fact that Christianity , as it came in words from the lips of Christ , was the same as catna in deeds from the life of Christ. And His lifo was fetich a natural human life , full of easy grace , as well as of purity and power like ( Jod's sun- shlno. cheering nil , and like God's rain fall , distilling upon all that tuo institu tional teachers of His timowho had their own axes to grind and Ho would not turn the stone for thotn , called Him not only "Sabbath breaker" but "blas phemer. " "wlno bibber" and "friend of publicans and harlots. " This could not have been said of ono who was the author of monasticism , or who disap proved nf any of the harmless activities and habits of lifo. Why , it was the Great Master himself who condemned those who made prayers in public places in order to seem religious ; and it was lie who censured the mon who "disfigured their faces" that thov might appear pious. That which Ho" taught by pre cept and example was a largo , generous , courageous , truthful , patient , magnani mous , pure and powerful human lifo. His cllbrt by word and deed was to make men more manly , nnd women more womanly , and both men and women more joyous. Now , instead of this vi nv , which anyone ono who will take the pains to read the Master's words may verify for himself , men have sometimes presented Chris tianity ns a set of ciiremonh's , and some times as a picco of unintelligible , brain- twisting philosophy , and sometimes as a system of siokish sentimentality. Against all these perversions of the truth of life , mon of sense and independence have ro- boiled , and when they have been led to believe that these inanities were u neces sary part of Christianity , they have cried out : "Christianity is nonsense ! " But it would be dillicult to Und any decent man who would not like to have his wife more womanly , or any docent - cent woman who wouldn't like to have her husband more manly. The substance of tiio teaching of Christ was : "Bclievo in mo , " so heartily that you shall , by the very force of your faith in me ; . "follow mo" in the 'spirit and purpose of your lifo , and thus become want 1 am. stiong and right and happy , in every depart ment of your nature. And His chief apostle declares the aim of Christianity to bo the accomplishment of a "perfect manhood. " What Christ sought to do was not to establish a sot of doctrines or u sot of ceremonies , or a snt of sentimen- talitics.but to establish a right lifo within and without. This is the obvious mean ing of those words of His : "My words that 1 speak to you they are spirit and they are lifo. " Vital Christianity is , therefore , to a man , as feotno ono has well said , not like a lightning rod to his house , bill like sun shine and rainfall to his riold , and tliero will bo need for it as long as there is need of sunshine and rainfall. Tins clmractoristiti of Christianity is .so mani fest to all who know what it is. , that oven Voltaire is bold to say that the Christian religion is divine divine as the sunshine and rainfall are , since seventeen centuries of imposture and perversion have not been tiblo to destroy it. While men live in. this world they will not say that sunshine and rain are non sense ; and for precisely anil'jou ; s reasons they will not say that Christian ity is nonsense. What Horace Buslinoll once said is , therefore , true , namely that when men know what Jesus Christ really taught then thov will believe it. And. apropos of this , President Porter , of Yale college , said a few years ago , that though Christ ianity has been well nigh crushed under pountloss misconceptions though many have heard Christ so badly represented as to reject the caricature of His person , yet , in the spirit of faith in his real character , they are : it heart his true bu- Hovers. Any man who really believes in the real Cltrist ought to know it , and if he will freely and independently study the Great Teacher's life he may. Artoimis ui-il'n Chum. Mr. George lloyt , of Cleveland , Ohio , who years ago worked on the Plain Dealer of that city with Artemus Ward , was in New York the oilier day ami chatted with a Mail and Kxptcss reporter. Mr. lloyt was a printer on the papciyind when Artemus. who was the sub-editor , wanted to go to Cincinnati for n week erse so he got the former to write his matter for him and loft an old tow string to indi cate the quantity required. Mr. lloyt is now a we'althy owner , but has never for- cotton the great American humorist , whose friend he was to his death. "Yes. I remember the old soiled string Artemus gave me , " ho said. "Artomus called mo to him and said ho was going to bo absent n week and wanted me to Mag-up' his column during his absence. I never will forgot his queer-looking ex pression when ho handed me a String , about two-thirds of a column in length , and said that much stall' was required Uuily. As to the q talityof the matter he ignored that altogether. I think that incident occurred along in 18. > 7or shortly afterward. Artomus and 1 were good friends , although I was only a printer on the paper. He discovered that I was something of an artist and had u high appreciation of the humorous , su ho frequently read his articles to me. How ho would laugh , both while ho was writing his funny articles und when ho read thorn to mo , 1 remember he road to mo his letter to Hnghniu Young , and laughed heartily over the question ho propounded to the mormon as to wliorj his wives wore sealed to him. I illustrated his first book for him ; at least , I drew all the illustrations , and Artemus lost them out of his coat pocket while on route to Now York. The last time I saw Artomus was in Cincinnati. Hovas lecturing then , and I wont into his dress ing room before ho appeared upon the stngo. Ho was having a terrible time with his hair-dresser. It is an actual fact ho carried a hair-drossor around with him to got his hair properly curled and arranged to appear before an aud ience. He appeared glad to see mo , anil asked me about the boys. Ho made : i great deal of money , but what became of it is rather a mystery. Ho bought n farm for his parents and helped them. " Hawaiian Race Disappearing. The Hawailans would have been so cially better oft' , it is openly asserted , liar no European over been permitted to land upon the shores of the kingdom. As mat ters now stand , the race is fast disappear ing , owing to the introduction of certain forms of vice heretofore unknown among the natives there , while that hateful disease introduced by foreigners intc these islands indelibly marks the features of both Kanakas and Wahincs alike , till tilling the text of the scriptural assertion that the sins of the father will bo visited upon the children , etc. Nevertheless Hawaii m nearly every respect justly deserves the attention il has been receiving for years nt the hands of citizens of the United States. The nix lives are to bo encouraged in their efibrl to compete with their white brethren , There are many Kanakas who lack thrifl nnd who do not possess the requisite amount of stamina which is needed toin < sure success in lifo , yet such as these mtvy bo instructed to such n degree as to rcn der them capable of at least providing for thomsolvos. In the American navy are many native Hawuliana , who , in the experience of thi writer , have always proved to bo good humored , yielding in temper , and us r rule , generous to a fault. Being in the main active and intelligent beings , thoj make excellent sailors. In like mannoi the investing in Hawaiian property urn the employment of native help at fail wages might result beneficially to LO only the capitalists , but would prove o great advantage to Uio Uawalitius us i people. . . , LABOR LACKING LEISURE , Left Undisturbai What Work Women Will Perform , LEARNING LOYAL LIFE-LESSONS. Lot the Sex Hnvo its Way Logical Hints on Dross "Lay Aside the Corxot" Laconics of Fashion. Woman's Worlr. "Man works from morn till set of sun. " They do. "lint a woman's work Is never done. " Quito true. For when ono task she's finished , something's found Awaiting a bezlnnlnK , all year round. Whether It bo To draw the tea , Or bake the bit-ail , Or maku the bed , Or ply fie broom , Or dust the room , Or Moor to scrub , Or knives to nib , Or table to set , Or meals to net , Or Mielves to scan , Or fi tilt to can , Or socds to sow , Or piaiiU tnfirosv , Or linens bleach , Or lessons teach , Or butter churn , Or jackets turn , Or polish glass Or itlatoof brass , Or clothes to miMid , Or children tend , Or notes indlto , Or stories write Hut I must stop , lor really If I should Name all the ors , take mu a day It would. bo many aru tlioie , that I do declare Moio boats than 1 could count might have a pair And yet enough be left ; and , men folks , these Same ors propel your barks o'er household seas , Into bunny havens where you rest at ease. And , ono woul more , don't yon forget It , please. A Wlso lIt - ' It is the fashion to work. Every woman now-u-days , no mutter how high her rank , or how great her wealth , works as though her bread dopinded on her industry. Satan , who used to lind so much mischief for idle hands to do , must bo at his wits' end to discover a pair that is not full of busy piny or downright hard work. Draw ing , embroidery , modeling in clay , paint ing , beating brass , designing furniture , composing songs , setting up industrial hehool , or working on some scientilic discovery to Unit what it Is all about , en gross the time and thoughts of women who. twenty .yours ago lolled on sofas and read novels , and hud dyspepsia for very idleness , and groaned because they hail "nothing to do. " The moneyed class and the working clashes meet oh a neu tral ground , whore millionaires.umuresscs and princesses rush in for their snare of labor , and look with scorn at those who liide their talents in a napkin. The fash ionable idler is now as busy as a bee , with the bump of approbation in a state of abnormal Ucvelo" ' " ' > ut. Tlio Woric or Women. Illustrated Christian Weekly : Wo have recently been advocating domestic ser vice as a ruiugo , in many cases , for women who have so hard a struggle to maintain themselves with the needle. Wo are fully convinced there is a rcfugo for some of the "prisoners of poverty , " whoso hapless fate has been sot before us. But we have never for a moment thought of domestic service as a panacea for all this woes that are a working- woman 's lot. The case is too compli cated for any one rnmedy to right it al together. _ There are , of course , many of these sewing-women who are so situated , as daughters with dependent parents eras as mothers with dependent children , that they cannot go out toi&orvico. There are others who have TiO'faculty to learn the many things that.go to thu making up of a really competent servant. It is , there fore , not possibly to' Bay to every woman living in nn attic ori a crust earned by well nigh ceaseless toil with the needle : 'Tou can make yountolf wholly comfort able in domestic .servjco. " This may bo said to many but , ' not to all. For those now to hem this way of relief is not open * ' , practical philan thropy must devise bo'nio way by which thn evils of their lot shall be mitigated or entirely removcdi The law must bo in voked upon hoartlo.ss and dishonest em ployers. Arrangements might bo made whereby food and fuel could be bought by these womoit at less than the ex orbitant prices which the corner grocery exacts , perhaps must exact , for pur chases in driblets. Wo have much vet to learn concerning co-operative ills- tributlon. Hut now the employers of domestic service can do much toward making it a more desirable situation than it now ap pears to some. There is no question that many mistresses are very exacting in their demands and harsh in their treat ment of their servants. Such never seem to think that there is any limit to the endurance - durance of ono who "goes out to ser vice. " Beyond paying the stipulated wages such persons do almost nothing for the welfare or comfort of their ser vants. In cqnsequouco they are con stantly changing servants , arid are full of bitter complaints of the incompctcncy and general worthlcssness of domestics. The fault is not altogether their own , for there are many who profess to bo servants who are neglectful and shiftless and extravagant. Still the fault is in good measure theirs , for in general a good mistress makes a good servant. Thorn are other mistresses who err through ignorance. They do not under stand the fundamentals , much loss the refinements , of housekeeping. This is not always their fault. Too many moth ers have the idea that their daughters should bo shielded from care ; that it will bo time enough for them to learn when they have homes of their own. In consequence quence , the poor young things have everything to learn at once \v7ion they become settled in now homos , instead ot having mastered at least all the funda mental principals gradually as they grow up under their mothers' ' instruction. Servants soon discover when their mistresses are ignorant of that which they ought to know , and take advantage accordingly. A mistress with knowledge of housework , oven though she does no part of it herself , can systematize the work , and so make ll more easy for her "help. " Knowing , moreover , what work really is , she does not exact more than Is right. Strict management is by no ina.ms necessarily tyrannical man agement. There is no question , when everything clso has been said , that U > o thing which more than nil clso operates to keep many women from domestic service is the feel ing that it is socially degrading. The house servant is considered as ofu lower caste than the shop girl or the factory operative. No one can give an intelli gent reason why this fs so ; but the fact stands out in sharp distinctness , It is an utterly unreasonable iprojudico , more or loss , with all of us. And the unfortunate thing about it is that argument has little weight against prejudice , Nevertheless , it w know whore the root of the evil lies wo can hot ourselves to overcome it. If it , is intrinsically as honorable to prepare the meals for a fam ily and to do the luindred things that go toward making do'juo.stio life comfortable as it is to do endless stitching on under garments ; if it requires more intelligence and versatility to bo a competent domes tiq servant than to run a machine Sivith its incessaht ' repetition of thn same thing ovjsr 'ami over again , then let us say so andfeel no and act. so , , , TiMi unreasonable j > rojudico may bograd ; tinljy overcome. It cannot bo battoroil do\tn with logic we are speaking of so ciety in general but wo bellovo it mav bo gradually lived down. Then wo shall have relief for these whoso priilo keeps horn from an occupation in which they hinK they will lese caste. Wo shall have also better service than is now too often the case. Hut this improved feeling for it is fooling more than thinking will bo a growth. What wo should aim at is to get it growing vigorously us rapidly as possible. Let us add that very much may bo done here by individual cH'ort. Kvory em ployer of domestic servants can do much to show that she regards their labor as worthy and themselves as entitled to re spect. She can evince a personal inter est in them and can cultivate in them a wisn self-esteem. There is no need of waiting for a combined social move ment in this direction , Let individual ull'ort bo put forth , ami good will follow. How to Kress Well. The healthful dress for women must bo made absolutely without ligatures or- bands. This is imperative from thu very arrangement of women's internal organ ization and her uses in nature. Hero wo have all the complex vital manufactories that supply life to muscles , nerves anil brain. Just at tiio point most compressed by the corset lie the most important or gans of the body , important alike to well-developed womanhood and re sponsible motherhood. Any pressure on these parts serves to disarrange and con fuse the whole machinery of life. Wo have all heard women say : "I cannot live without my corsets ; I feel as if I should drop apart" confessing thereby to the partial paralvsis ot the ncrvo 811 . "wuular system. How ab surd ! Nature will take care of herself if you will allow her the opportunity. \ \ omaii in a healthful condition has tre mendous powers of endurance and re sistance in the region ol the waist. It was meant by Divine wisdom that she should have. Were it not so do vou not suppose that the pressure , bands and weight brought to bear upon her would have done more than reduce her to a suf- ( minF , invllil1 ! ? VVhy , it would have killed her outright. Put men into women - men d dress and they would become idiots or dead men in ten years. Dress should follow thu lines of the body , and wo should be clothed in all respects as our natural structure demands , begin ning at the neck and following each arm and each lejj comfortably to the hands and feet. Having clothed the body ac cording to the season and the ncco'ssity for warmth , in llannols , silk or cotton combination suits , it only remains to wear seat trousers , or if you prefer to call it so , divided skirt , of the same ma terial as the princess-shaped dress with its drapery , to complete a costume fill- lillmg all the requirements of health and freedom ; and according to the thought and artistic taste expended shall wo gain the other requirements of beauty. This style of dress is susceptible of an endless variety of modification and changes , and need never be ugly or monotonous. Hindoo Women. "During the ten years of my residence among the Hindoos , " said a female mis sionary just returned from India , in a lecture delivered before a Brooklyn aud ience the other night. "I never saw a Hindoo child receive a caress from its mother. Scarcely clothed , beaten and despised , it knows hardly where to lay its head or iret its meals. If it is a girl the mother can not bo fond of it , for it may bo the means of disgrace to her. If a wife has no male child , her husband may divorce her. This is changed some what when the child becomes old enough to bo engaged. This is six years. The allair is settled without consulting the poor girl herself. And who do you think liiids the girl a husband ? The barber. Ho knows the circumstances ot the family and rank in life , as ho has to visit the house every day to shave the male members of the family before they can pray. He travels , sometimes , weeks and months through the country before ho can lind a young marriageable man of the same station in life as the girl. For in India there is no intermarriage be tween castes. "Now fora ideaof the Hindoo woman's homo life. The lloor and walls are of clay , with no ornamentation of any sort and the least furniture possible. Every morning she has to pray not for herself , as she is taught that she has no soul but for her husband , for rain and for general blessings. Then she spends two or three hours preparing breakfast. She doesn't cat with her husband , but , perhaps , fans bun at his request. During the day time she cither sleeps , gossips with the other women , or sometimes a reader reads to them from the lives of the gods. These stories are unlit for human cars ; they are vile from beginning to end. The children and women are tuiurht them. At nHit they prepare their husband's meal in the same manner. They are not protected against the weather and dampness , nor are they properly fed and clothed. The rich live the same as the poor. If sick they are deemed cursed by the gods and they are taken to the stable andloft alone. The only food they can got is left by stealth. Thousands die of neglect. ' 1 ho hrst day that a Hindoo boy abuses his mother is a festal occasion with his father , who boasts of it to his friends. Jo bo a widow is the siimof unhappiuess. She is especially cursed bv the gods. As the husband dies , half a dozen barbers' wives rush upon her and tear the jowelrv from her ears and nose. Behind the funeral cortege she follows , surrounded by these fiends who throw her into the water. If she drowns , they say she was n good wife after all. 'Sho has gone to moot her husband. ' She is kept in a darkened room for fourteen days At the end of this time her husband's ashes are taken to the river , and. after a peculiar ceremony of prayers , the soul is supposed to bo free. It may enter nn in sect or an animal. The worst punish ment the soul can sustain is to enter the body of a woman. " llonutlcs that Do Not Materialize. Boston Journal : It is said that Wash ington beauties , whoso charms have boon heralded by the society correspond ents , do not materialize when ono visits the capital. The tourist finds little to gratify his raised expectations. The women of Washington are only an average - erago lot of mortals , and n little inquiry reveals the fuel that the most celebrated fomlnincs are only ordinary women con nected by marriage with men who , for the time being , are running the govern ment. Gossip for ( lie Imillcs. Mrs. Cady Stanton is a pet. She doesn't like the Idea of American women being kept out of law ranking and remanded to the ohlmncy corner. There nro 018 women employed ns prison ofllcinls in England , with salaries varying from $22o to f V > 00 lor ) annum , mid in addition fuel , light , quarters aim uniform. Mrs. Lamnr is gaining unstinted ad miration for the graceful and diiniltlod way in which she accepts the trying re- snonsibilithvs ot her new position among the ladies of the cabinet. The Hoston club , founded by a daugh ter of Mrs. Julia Ward llovvn. is about expiring , killed doubtless bv its name "Tho Metaphysical. " Even Hoston culture cannot stand everything. Miss Mary A. Livermore proves that there are no .supnrlluous women by the statement that there are now 227 voca tions open to women , as against seven at thu beginning of the century. A California woman owns anil runs the factory which makes nine-tenths of the orange boxes for the Pacific coast. She invented the box while trying to make a cradle for her baby. Miss Ans der Oho , who made her debut at the Now York symphony concerts this season , is n pupil of Liszt , and is saull to bo the best pianist since Rubinstein. She is only twenty-six years old. Miss White , a temperance lecturer , is holding forth in Colorado on "Honed Husbands. " It is to bo inferred that the kind of husbands she wishes to boil nro some kin to the owl of tradition. The Woman's Magazine , cditcil by Mrs. Esther llousli , has doubled its size and entered upon n crusade for social purity. Its aim has always peon reforma tory , and mainly in behalf of temper ance. Eyclyn college for young woman will soon bo opened at Princeton , N. , ) . , under the direction of Princeton college pro fessors. Kov. Dr. Mcllvnin is to bo presi dent , and his two daughters will act as principals. There docs not seem to bo any imme diate danger of dearth of missionaries. At Wellesley college the president recently ' cently Invite'd all young women who felt moved to go as _ missionaries to confer with her , and eighty responded. Mr. Norman W. Dodge of New York , has instituted a prize of $300 to bo awar ded at eacli annual exhibition of the academy to the best picture painted in the United States by a woman. There is no limit as to ago or nationality. Mrs. Langtr.y's establishment consists of her Twenty-third struct house , twenty- two servants , eight carriages and twelve horses. Her annual profits from her the atrical performances are about f 100,000. Who wouldn't bo a professional beauty. Many women in the blue grass regions of Kentucky and Missouri , and on the plains of Dakota , Kansas and Nebraska , have become successful stocK raisers. while some of the best paying market gardens and fruit farms of California are owned and conducted by women. Thn latter employment seems especially suit ed to them , and there is plenty of virgin .soil In the most favored climate to bo had for the working of it. The first plowing must be hired ; after that His plain sailing. The Kxplamuion London tigaro : Miss Annie Oppen- hcim. answering my question concerning the sort of hair that denotes intellectual power , says : "There is not any kind of hair that denotes intellect , the former being - ing an animal matter. " Hut Miss Oppon- lieim "firmly believes that bald headed men are most that way inclined , they 'having through the exertion of their brains exhausted all that is animal in their nature. " The explanation is in genious , but it is notconvincing. I know some b-Ud headed men who are fools. PURELY VEGETABLE. PERFECTLY HARMLESS. A Critical Case Asthma Bronchitis. Mr. Clmrlcs A. Tie ] , says the Philadel phia Kvenlnp Kett i , as so prostrated with throat trouble following upon astlimu , 1m was oniervil by physicians to New Orleans. The clmnRO u roURlit no coed ; he returned home In n hoimics * condition. He uus Dd- vlsed nml ho tried lied Mar COUKI ! Cure. Ills cuuh ) and asthma left him , and alter ustiiK a few bottles his hwUU was com pletely restored. Another riouro-l'nouinonla Cough. Qiilnby House , Portland , Oregon. After buircrmga great drnl from an utUcl : of pleura-pneumonia , connected with a gevero imd painful conch , n friend of mlno recommended the Rcubtar Cough Cure to inc. after 1 hud tried serernlothur remedies without buceess. Ono bottlu cnsurod uiy recovery. MARK A. MILLER. Travelling Agt. , Erie K. It. Inflammation of Throat and Lune > < " Ban Francisco , Cal. Mr. Oliver ninVley , Proprietor of the Padtlo Carriage Co. . 11 Powell St. , SAu Francisco , nays : "I have bean Buffering with a severe cough , causing finally In flammation of the throat and lungs for a larly alUlctcd , to try the "lied fitar Cough Curo. " After a fcwdoxesl began to feel instant relief and after tAklng one bottle I was entirely cured. OLIVCtt 1IINKI.EY. A StartlingDUuluaure Take Note. A leading physician has inado the start ling resolution that six thousand people , mostly children , dlo yearly in this country from the cfU'cts of cough mixtures con taining morphia or opium. TlIE CHARLES A. YOdKLCH CO. , B.UImon , Mi. f-AU peritmi VSINO SI. Jaccbi Oil or Red Star Cough Cure , will by $ ciuilnr > a two-cent tlamp nnd ahiitarti nt their case , recrtrr ADVICR rnt K. KJACOBS OR THE GREAT GERMAN REMEDY r > u ! ) * Cnl'1 UnatUia , HcuulgU , I1111 MQ III B kietl ! 4 k > , TootliMhe , rui rdiii fmjKsrsttt" , rUIr OniU. At DnjlllU u4 D l rf. SB * CH1BLXS A. T06ILIBCO. , UU or , BilJ.S. * . , VDK ? UlDITC'KyU now or old , I B Wiml I En0f any make , T bought , told or oxclianKCd on most liberal terms. ( Icmil mnchlnca ( orenle t Imlf tlrn coit. hallootl Tjp.-TTrlter ! ihutt , 11W US II. Bl.tlile jo. WANTED , KANSAS & NEBRASKA City and Gounly Bonds , Bradstreet & Curtis , BANKEBS , 35 Pine St. , Nutv York. "HOW TO ACQUIRE WEALTH/ ' NO III.AXKS. BIG PIllZi : * OK RE\VAKI SS One Million Distributed Every Year. UK AUOUMUI.VTKU INTEREST MONEY DIVIDED AMONG A FEW MICKY ItOND , 11OI.DKUS KVEUY 3 MONTHS. Only ? 4.00 required to secure one Royal Italian 100 francs gold bond. These bonds participate in 1225 drawings , four drawing every year and retain their original value until the year 1041. Prizes of 2,000,900 1,000.000 , 500,000 , 250.000 , &c. francs will be drawn , besides the certainty of receiving back 100 francs in gold , you may win 4 times everv year. Tli's Is us afc , rnd t'i boat , Investment vtr offeree ] , as the Invested money must bo paid b.ick wliOT bonil nuinins. Bniil forclrcul ir < ai It will puy you lo il > , or HOIII ! jvtirorJcri wllli money by i-csrHtiTixl li-ttor , or poitiil notes , nnd In return wo will forwnnlthe ilocumonM. rKM.IIA.KI.O CO. , 305 llruudivuy , Xew York < : i j. .11 , Those bonds * re not lottery tickets , mid tbo milo Is loyally pormlttoj In ttia U. B. b y Ian TURN OVER A NEW LEAF. Jiff/In the New Month by Fayltiy Cash , fiee Our 1'rlcvn. flnrncnu's XXX Soda Crackers 23 Ib boxes , Orftnulatod Huifur , 18 ibg for 11 ( luinuuu'8 Ulniror Simiis , 25 Ib boioa , 7 25 burn WUItohlurSonii.il. Host Ilrood.U loaves lorlUe Muokorol from $1 to l M per kit. Uubbiinr * Superlative Flour , per 100 Ibs$2.74 An Immense variety of FUli lor [ .ont. a upmx'U I'tttont Klour , per 100 Ibs. 2.W WAUItEX F. JiltOWX , TJIK CASIf G HOC Kit , Northeast Corner St. Mary'a ' Ave. ami 19th St. Telephone : iU'J. A CARD , TO THE PUBLIC AYiih the approach of spring and the increased interest man ifested in real estate matters , I am moro than over consult ed by intending purchasers aa to favorable opportunities for investment , and to all such would say : WhenJJputting any Proper ty on the market , and adver tising it as desirable , I have invariably confined myself tea a plain unvarnished statement of facts , never indulging in vague promises for the future , and the result in every case lias been that the expectations of purchasers were moro than realized. I can refer with pleasure to Albright's Annex and Baker Place , as sample il- - , lustrations. iI i I Lots in the "Annex" have quadrupled in value and are still advancing , while a street car line is already building past Baker Place , adding hun dreds of dollars to the value , . of * * v * r * every lot. Albright's Choice was se lected by me with the greatest care after a thorough study and with the full knowledge of its value , and I can consci entiously say to these seeking a safe and profitable in r * ? ment that Albright's Choice offers chances not excelled in this market for a sure thing. Early investors have already reaped large profits in CASH , and with the many important improvements contemplated , some of which are now under way , every lot in this splen did addition will prove a bo nanza to first buyers. Further information , plats and prices , will bo che6rfully furnished. Buggies ready at all times to show property. Respectfully , W , G , ALBRIGHT SOLE OWNER , 218 S. 15th Street. Branch office at South Oma ha. N. B. Property for sale in all parts of the city . .