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12 THE OMAHA DAILY BEE , SUNI AY APRIL 0 , 1890.-TWENTY-FOUR PAGES. D , * W > THE GREATEST SALE OF THE SEASON Great Slash Cut and Smash of Prices. Read the bargains we offer in curtains , and'remember brass trimmed curtain poles go free with every pair of curtains sold. On a great many goods advertised the cost of goods is not considered. The fact is we are overstocked and must unload , and we will make the prices to move the stuff. You cannot help buy ; the prices quoted will surely catch you. Don't miss us Monday. All mail orders filled up to Tuesday P. M. SES3. Shoulder Capes , $3.50 LACE CURTAINS Chenille Portieres , $5.98 Pair. CURTAINS Antique Lace Wonderful Silk ; Cape , n1 Cape , cut Is simply i Bargains wonder. .Made ' of a II tic al $6.50' wool Itroadcloth Hero is a barcnin. If you want a line . 4 rows In black curtain , como in Monday and sec this and colors , only In Our Basement. tSJiQi cheap at ! l ono a fine Nottingham , ! ! } yards long1 , A great bargain. taped all nround , olcgant now patterns , 48 pairs of Real Antique Lace Cur Ladles' all sill ; ASK TO only $3.1)5 ) pair ; and brass trimmed cud- tains , ! ! i yards lonp. They are simply Attend This Sale. Shoulder ( 'ape * , tain poles thrown in free with every beautiful. Monday at only $ X60 pair ; . with deep MIk pair. Don't miss i\ \ . fringe all ill-omul worth $0 , and brass trimmcit poles go in " SEE , a "perfect beauty LACE CURTAINS free. Toilet Paper. Co roll. only K.r ! 0 each : IT. 60 Chamber Sets of six pieces , $2. cheap nl ! MOf In Irish Point Superior Clothes Wringers. $1.50. black only. Novelty Clothes Wringers , $1.93. The Latest. GET CURTAINS Largo Clothes Baskets , -ISc. Very Nobby 2-IIoop I'ails , only lOo. IT Wash Tubs only 80u. ' tolling Pins , Co. Ladies'Kid Gloves QUICK. A good Scrub LSrush. lOc. 120 pairs of Nottingham Lace Cur Scrub Brushes , at 16o ; worth -10c. 9Sc. tains , a beautiful chamber curtain , 1000 Pie Tins , Ic each. About , .00 ' dozen Ladles' fine , Kid Oloves Beaded worth $2 , only Too pair , and curtain Dairy Pans , Cc each. foimerly .sold at $ l.5i ) . * 1.T > . K.wi. fj.'l'i and fc'.W ) . poles free with pair. They are odds and ends of dlUVicnl lines , all $1.25 every Conper Bottom Wash Boilers , ' ! Gc. colors , all .sl7es. and they go one day al IWc a Wraps , . 28 pair Irish Point Lace Curtains , . " } Copper Bottom Tea Kettles , ; > ! ) c. pair loclo " e the lot. * Monday only-200 Ladles' Ite.adeil Wraps , LACE CURTAINS yards long. This curtain was bought Patent Lemon Squeezer , Sc. "LADIES''FAST ' ' BLACK all wraps formerly Mild at fc'.M ) , f.l , KI..V ) . ft and to retail nt $10 , They were promised to Flat Irons , all sizes , U-je. l.r 0. allno al Ilio .slaughtered price' of $ ! , " . " > EHOSE.E > each. Don't miss this chance. us in January , and just arrived last Largo Lamps , complete , Hoc. . Mail eiders tilled If any are k'ftTuesday. week. We decided to return them , but Large Lamps , complete , lc. ! ) see. the agents allowed us a rebate to keep Hand Lamp , complete , 15c. FANCY ' , - Our own Importation Ladles' fast black QQ them. So wo will close them out at Hanging Lamp : > , complete , $1.03. Hose , an elegant gauge , a beautiful blacli , SILKS \ once at $5.80 pair , and brass trimmed JZOO Cream Sets. Iflc , Hoe and -18c set. and worth rifle.'e . are anxious to unload a . L7\j fcwat iT > c pair. Mall orders filled for oiunsecU. , poles frco. Largo Cuke Stands , ii"c. . 4Pi pi'ri ! > fane/ brocade and fancy strips 86 pair Nottingham Lace Curtains , . * ? } Fruit Dishes at-ISu. BROCADE , . . HIIKs for inie ilnv only. TIICM-.silks arc all LACE new and lirialil cnfors.v'o bought them cheap yards long , taped all around , a beauty , The best Broom on earth , 19c. nnil propn-i' In let t hem out inori ! than cheap , 12 Marbles for Ic. BRILLIANTINES sola $2.50. This lot formerly at i'mneeaily Mundity If you want nice selec goes , tion. Monday only at % 1.25 pair , and curtain CURTAINS Patent Flour Sifter , lOc. 75c. Paper Pails , lOc. . . THE poles free with every pair. Whitewash Brushes , lOc , loc , 2oc. in pieces black brocade also fancy brocade stripe l > lack Ilrl Ilia nt I lies , -U ! Inches wide , beau LACE CURTAINS 1000 Tooth Picks. Gc. tiful lust M > . elegant quality , cheap at Jl. on Diamond Boys' Velocipedes , $1.75. bale ono week 7. > c yard , Hero Is a stunner. Over 200 pair fine Chen 111 * Portiere GQrlalns , In solid colors , with HO-foot Clothes Lines , 6c. Draper , fringed ends ; also with beautiful dado. Not a curtain In this lot.wprth lets than 110 and up to CO-foot Clothes Lines , lOc. White Nainsooks $15. They all go Monday at 15.1)3 ) pair , and brass trimmed curtain poles thrown In free. Handled Stow Pans , lOc. , $3.00. Portiere Curtains $1.98. Curtain Shades 29c. Salts and Peppers , 5e. , , . Gold Paint , lOe bottle. Monday we will otrer LtlO pieces line whlto 07 pairs of an extra flno Nottingham check and Nalnsook.s , This dra per ovorv Monday 100 pairs of Portiere Curtains , with 1,000 Curtain Shades , ill colors , all made up Lace Curtain , 3 } yards long , taped all Clothes Pins , 0 dozen 5c. are hummers. stripe Sou them. atSSo yaid They lady In the land ISO pair Nottingham Lace Curtains , beautiful dado , In all colors , only $1.03 pair , on best spring natures ready to hang up , Mon around. Tins curtain is good value at Wash Boards , 15c. ri \ i 1 rp i xlionld have one. ivorth $1 , and brass trimmed . day only 20e each , worth OOc. . . poles free. Tin Cups. 12 for 5c. You can fold them taped all around , $ yards long , only CSo S3.50. Monday they go at $2 pair , and I urkisn i owels u ] ) In small space , and brass trimmed free. Tin Diiipcr , fie. , pair , poles Curtain brass trimmed curtain poles thrown in and put away In Straw .Shades 50c. 15c. . any corner until Matting , . , . free. And thounands of other bargains. 10e. . ' wanted. C'omo In SOO best quality Ourtaln . Shades. and see how they .r > 0 rolls of China Matting Monday at 15o already made up onlbest paquo spring rollers , In all ion dozen fine Turkish Towels in fanny strlpo I work. . On . KIIIO BENNISON BROS ardnorth t5c ! ; al.tuu line at 2 , > o yard , that colors , with bcuut frul dado : 'also in'plain , BENNISON BROS BENNISON BROS and fancy l > oiilun . > , only IDo each. Kol 0110- ] Monday. Malloidcrstilled. fcl.uOeach , I i 'on cannot buy nnywliuroolso for less than 80c , Monday only OOe each , worth $1. fuurth pi leu. A WEEK WITH THE GOAT , Current Events Among the Various Fraternities. ACTION OF CLEVELAND MASONS. and Social JVIt'otiiifp * of the CK A New Trlho < r Ue l TUcn Organized Notes. A. P. * A. M. The .following . dispatch was received from Cleveland , O. : "On the 2nd lust. County Hecordor Ander son , Prolmto Judge Chandler and A. E. Gil bert , members of Forest ledge , A. F. & A. M. , of Cleveland , O. , lllcd suit against the grand ledge oC Ohio , Grand Master Bimlick and Forest lodge , alleging eonspiraey on the part of the grand lodge to oust certain Masons \\-ho liavo liocomu meiulK'i-s of the United States junsdictiou of the Scottish Kite. Charges litid been pi-efurred against the plaint ilTs and were to have been heard on the ' 'ml lust. , and plaintllTs alle od that the heari HIT would bo a farce , .luilifo Lambson enjoiiu'il the heaniii , ' of the charges , C'hniws were iiroferrod nwilnst u member of one of the blue lodges of this city , aeeus- IIIR nim of uninasonic conduct in being u member of the United States Jurisdiction of the Scottish Kilo. The member was given u hearing and wns acquitted of the charge. Charges \\ai-u preferred against two moi-o members of the same lodge on the KUIIIO grounds. At the heuring of the charges against one of the members ho wiissusiK-mled The other member has not yet had a hearing. 1 he preferring of thcso charges Is claimed to bo based 011 the edict of Grand Master . T The Masons of Columbus have decided to erect n line toinplo. Plans have been agreed ilium for the construction of u building IMixllX ) f'ft , to cost 440,1X10. The lower story will bo divided no us to contain three store ivgmn. The second story will comprise and bo de voted eutiivly to im opera house , whllo on the third lloov will bo the society hall of the order of ' ! the ! H10 , l'sV"1 , ' "Uni'i'iit i-ooins. The location building has not yet been determined It is the Intention of the cominttteo to raisoln block .subscriptions frW.tXXi. All stock will bo guaranteed to draw not less than T percent per annum. The work of soliciting will begin at OHCO. In the Iowa case of the United States Jurisdiction - diction ngalust the Iowa Masonic grand ledge JiulBO I'l-'ston on Friday , oven-uled the mo tion of the defense to throw the case out of court on the ground that the court hud no jurlsdU'tiiin because the Scottish rite \\-as not an lncurihir.iii.Hl body. This considered a do- clsivo victory for the United States Jurisdic tion. I. O. O. | , \ There nro eighty-thi'co lodges of the Tegivo of Hobt'kah in thu Massiichuselts Jurisdiction three huvlng lxn Instituted sineo the August iiuvtlng. The receipts for thu year havu boon fi.H'J.'O , and the 1111,011111 , paid for the ivlief of the members has IKH-II fJ.tt'O.W ) . Indlami made a gain of l.uw for the year. Cidlfornla now has wa lodges , Oregon ninety-three and Nevada thirty-two. Kleven thousand dolliu-s has bwn sub scribed for a now hull in 1'Utslmrg , Pa. The OddfelloWH of Now Uedfoitl , Mass. , have their iftW.tXX ) temple iiearlv completed and oxiKvtto dedicate it thoafltliof April next , thu anniversary day of the order. IJrltlsh Columbia has on an average 100 members to a ledge ; Connecticut , 171 ; Dis trict of Columbia , 103 ; Miiiuo , ill ! } Massa chusetts , 1S3 ; Now Hampshire , IJKJj Pennsyl vania , h7 ; Hhodo Island , I' " . ' . Pennsylvania , however lias ne.irly 1,000 lodges , while Ohio , the uoxt lujrhest , has only OTO and Illinois ( WO. I'ennsylvaiiia hus S1.WX1 menil > crs ; the nest highest jurisdiction , Ohio , has MV-tiT. The gnind lodge of Massachusetts still holds two sessions u year. Acconliuif to the ivporta the membership was Increased over four huii" drcd last year. Social Uebekah lodge , No. 10 of Manchester , N. II. , has over seven hundred members , and is striving to reach 1,000. L Messrs. Bryant , Kvans , Bennett. Cooper and Morgan went to Ashland Thursday night to exemplify the work in the encampment. K. of r. The event of the week in Pythian circles was the entertainment of Viola ledge on Tues day evening. The ledge went to considera ble expense to provide an excellent entertain ment for its invited guests , and succeeded ad mirably. The exercises Consisted of vocul and instrumental music , addresses and reci tations. The llrst numlcr on the programme was an overture by the Union Pacific band , under the leadership of Mr. F. Ubyner. The chancellor commander of the lodge. Mr. James Ferris , then intro duced Mr. E. Hoscwatcr , who delivered a short address on the principles and teachings of the order. He referred tothomottooof the order , Friendship , Charity ami Hcnovolence , and said it was a most expressive mottoo ono which appealed to the heart and to the humane sentiment in mankind. The marvel ous growth of the onler was also referred to , as well as the beneiltsof the ondowmentrank. Mr. Kosewater stated that the teachings of thu order worn beautifully oxemplilied by the noble feolf-sacriflco of Damon and Pythias. Thu address was well received and loudly ap plauded. Mr , "Louis Uaehr followed in a reading. The selection was a humorous epi sode in a Pullman car , and was encored. Mr. Hiu.'hi1 ivsponded by u recitation which was also enthusiastically applauded. Miss Libbio Cliamberliii sang a soprano KOO ! in u pleasing manner. Her voice was putt ) and sweet , and the music was well selected. A. C. McMahon gave a splendid imitation of Henry Uixoy's impersonation of Irving. Prof. Matthews mid Will Carleton's "Out of the Fire , " and a mandolin quartette pluved a couple of selections. A sleight of hand per- fornmnco by Prof. Anderson completed u rather long programme , and then the floor was cleared for dancing. Tl'ho growth of the order In Iowa Is shown In the fact that in 1875 there was u member ship of WX ) , and in 1889 a membership of nearly 11,000. In 1875 the grand ledge was in debt some &HX ) , and In 18S ! > the grand ledge was out of debt ami had $8,000 in the treas ury. ury.In In 1875 the supreme ledge of Knights of the World had ? W in its treasury , and In 1881) ) it had about $ : ir > ,0ix ) . This shows the marvelous growth mid amiulng prosperity of the Pythian organization with mathematical precision. The laws of the grand ledge of Hhodo Island require the grand chancellor to visit every ledge In the grand- Jurisdiction once every year. The printed proceedings of the 18SO conven tion of the grand ledge , ICnlghts. of Pvthini of Pennsylvania , is u pamphlet of about aflO pages , showing a membership of over -10,000 , and about $100,000 in the treasury. Steps are Mug taken to organize a liew lodge at Central City. Jtoynl Arramim. Poports from the councils of the Koynl Ar canum in Schuylcr show a steady incivaso in membership ; applications are received by each council every meeting night , with Fraternity No. 1'Jllt , leading the others In Incivaso during the past live weeks. This council will soon h.ivo an open social session to which the wives and friends of thy members will bo In vited. Through the state the councils are all in creasing their membership , especially at I'luttsmotith , Kearney and I fas tings. A now council will Iw instituted bv Deputy supreme Kepri'nt George Kcr of Sebuvlor on Monday , April 7. after which Mr. Ker'willgo to Salt I.ako City. Utah , to organize a council there. Ho goes In response to an invitation extended by a number of Aarcanumltes re siding there but holding membership In east ern cities , The Uoyal Arcanum Is nourishing nil over the country and now 1m over one hundred thousand members , having gullied about ono thousand eight hundred in January of thi * year. 1. O. U. M , Yah-nun-dah-sls Iribo of the Improved Order of Ued Men was Instituted last night by Pottawatamlo tribe of Council DlulTa. The tribei start * out with thirty charter mcmlK'i-s. TUo followhij ; wo the ottleers ; J. II. Good- man , prophet ; Dr. TJ. A. Merriam , sachem ; Will TJ. Seism , .senior sagamore ; T. W. Me > Cullough , junior sagamore : Charles L. Pond , chief of records ; F. A. Secord , keeper of wampum. After the ceremony lunch was served. A. O. U. W. Union Pacific ledge held a social session last Monday night to which the lodges in this city , South Omaha and Council Bluffs had been invited. The ledge was opened in form and under "good of the order" a very enter taining programme was presented. Dr. S. K. Patten , the district deputy , delivered the opening addi-ess , quoting a largo number of interesting statistics and making compari sons with other benevolent orders. Follow ing this was. a song _ by S. B. Uoborts , after which Thomas II. Phillips , the master work man of Omaha ledge No. 18 , delivered an ad dress which was very interesting and was in tently listened to by all. He chose for his subject , "Charity , " and spoke very elo quently upon this -fruitful theme. The next was an address by George Christopherson , on the form of government of the order , which was well received. C. II. Kuroy , the master workman of North Omaha lodge , was the next siwalccr and conlined his remarks princi pally to the benefits of the order which ho stated in a clear and concise manner. OlT- hand remarks were then made by Dr. J. B. Halph and u number of others , after which refreshments were served and the lodge was closed. The meeting of Omaha ledge No. IS was the scene of a very pleasant affair last Thursday evening. At a previous meeting Mr. W. J. C. Putnam-Cramer , the recorder of the lodge , had tendered his resignation , as ho intended making a visit to Kngland , his native land , and would probably bo absent several months. The resignation was reluctantly accepted , but the memboru were of the opinion that Mr. Cramer's services should not go unrewarded. He had nerved as master workman of the ledge and had always been identified with movements calculated to Increase the size and standing of No. 18. It wns therefore decided that he should receive an appropriate token of the esteem in which ho was held by all the members and a handsome cano was selected as the most fitting gift. The gold head of the cano was engraved with a number of the em blems of the oiilcr and also with the mime of the lodge , recipient , etc. Master Workman Thomas II. Phillips made the presentation. He assured Mr. Cramer of the respect and conlldenco of the ledge and wished him a safe journey and a quick return. It hud been de cided that ho should not depart without a tangible expression of the appreciation of his .services us an onlcer , as well as their regard for him as a man. Ho then presented the cane , calling attention to thoeinblems thoreou and rec.illing their meaning. Mr. Cramer was overcome at this manifestation of regard and replied very briolly. The occasion was a happy one and will exist in the minds of those present for a long tlmo. The jurisdiction of Ontario has HO lodges , Hamilton. No.10 , of Hamilton , holding the banner with : tt5 members and Capital , No. 50 , of Toronto , standing second with JIOD. Now York instituted thirty-six lodges dur ing the year ISS',1. ' The Ancient Order of United Workmen Is having " very healthy growth in Kansas City. The now lodge at Sixth and Plerco streets was partially instituted Thursday night. About fifteen of the charter members were Initiated and several of the oflleors ulectcd , but owing to the lateness of the hour and the state of the weather , an adjournment was taken for ono wetilc , when the remaining ehuis tor meinbem , about fifteen , will bo Initiated and the officers installed. K. Jt Iof II. The supreme protector of the order of Knights and Ladles of Honor , John T. Mil- burn , has Issued an official circular dated Louisville , Ky. . announcing thu fact that Jewel lodge of that city was in sessloiiwu the night of March 27 , when the Idilhling in which the lodge met wus destroyed by the cyclone and at least forty members were killed and as many more severely Injured , leaving many families and momliors lu.Boro distress , which can 1 materially comforted , and relieved by prompt assistance. TJjo supreme premo protector mils upon the momlKsrs of the order for aid and assistance mid says that prompt action Is necessary. He directs that remittance * be sent to Supreme Secretary O. \V. Hurvey of Indhmapolis. O , H. of Kt. C. Ou lost Saturday ovcnhtt ; u social was held under the auspices of Shakespeare lodge , No. ! it7 , Order of Sons of St. George , at their hall , 1(114 ( Douglas street. An interesting lit erary and musical programme was rendered by Messrs. Kellcy , T. Stribling , Ilodgetts , Murray , McCornish , Stock-dale , Hurt , Mor ton , Hill , Dove and Gardner. D. D. W. P. W. 1J. Adams presided. The boys were re galed with refreshments and cigars and spent an enjoyable evening. M. IV. OF A. Omaha camp No. 120 visited South Omaha camp last Saturday night. A very pleasant evening was spent and wns fittingly closed witli an appetizing lunch which had been pre pared. Omaha camp is rapidly increasing in mem bership , a largonnmbcr of applications having been acted upon lately. O. K. S. Vesta chapter has inaugurated a series of weekly socials. These events are brought under "good of the ordor" and form an at tractive feature which will undoubtedly re sult in a largo increase in attendance. Vesta chapter and Harmony chapter of Council Bluffs exchange visits frequently , which are a source of pleasure and mental improvo- ment. Fraternity Alphabet. A is the admission the candidate sought. B is the ballot wo every 0110 vote. C is the candidate , honest and true. D is the Degree which each passes through. K is equality on which wo stand. F is for friendship , true heart in hand. G is the goat wo all have to ride. H is the harness that holds us astride. I initiation , solemn and grand. J jubilation -the end is attained. K is the kindness the members all show. TJ is the love which henlcth all woo ; M is the money which eases distress , N is nobility none can express. O is our Order wherever 'tis found , P its principles , healthy and sound , Q is the question , "Am you ono of usl" U is.the receipt which wo never refuse. S the Samaritan , kindly and meek , T is the truth which wo always speak. U Is for unity , In It wo'ro strong , V Ls virtue opposed to all wrong. \V is wisdom the Order contains. X can't bo used In rhyme by my brains. Y is yourself , you should Join us I know , Vi is the zeal which our members all show. Happening nt IlAS-n.vns , Neb. , April 5. [ Special to TUB Br.i : . ] The ladles of the Hastings hospital will give a calico bull at Gcrmanhi hall on the evening of April 7 , for the benefit of the h os pital mlto society. ' Peycko Bros , of .Omaha have leased a portion tion of the threc-s bry Davis building fcr a term of 0110 year , nud will convert the sumo into a wholesale house. This city will bo made distributing \ .point for their fruit in terests. i A traveling inctVs reception was held at the Y. M. C. A. room. this evening. The meetIng - Ing was of a social character. The object wus to promote closer liiuuls of friendship. The election avoirpublic spirited people are booming base ball iV the Nebraska state lea-rue. Hustings 'must have base bull. No city in Nebraska , can travel in any faster company than tji Queen city. Delegates will boKcntloGntud Island next Thursday to assist in completing ho league work. Monday eveninif Ihu now nmycr and coun cil will take tuko tJwir seats in the city coun cil chamber. There ii considerable speculation - tion ns to the appointments under the new administration. There Is a strong suspicion that Hon. Fred Olmstcad will bo appointed city attorney ; ox-SherilT Dave Harlass , chief of police ; Ed Burton , street commissioned. While there is a strong disposition to see Charles Wunzer retained as chief of police , Dave lUirluss may be loiidcrcd the position of water commissioner. Chief Wmucr has made an excellent ofllccr and deserves to bo re tained. Mayor Clurko's friends anticipate that the iHllco ) furee untlor Wunzer will have to go. The name of G. M. An.son lias lieeii mentioned in connection with the position of city water tapper. Will Cllno will l o deputy jKistmastcr under Postmaster Heartwell. It is understood that the new ofllcluls will take charge May 1. Two eagles were soon lighting In a nlno tree on the farm of J. It. Williams near Hast- vllle , Vu. One of them struck the other such u blow that it cut his neck half in two , and be died dimuielutcly. WHY ARE THESE THINGS SO ? Some Pertinent Inquiries as to Prevailing American Customs. GALLERIES UNDER - THE STREET A Plan for Disposing ofOus ami AVntci ami Kluutric AVIres Tlio "Boarding : House" System Portable Coins. I look out of my window. Gangs of men nro employed pulling up the pavement of the street. This is the llfth time our street has been up within thrco yours , says a writer in April Arena. Poor street 1 AVhen will they cease pulling you to pieces } Whyurowoso far advanced in useful sciences , and are in swaddling clothes in all matters that concern plain ordinary , useful arts ! Let us suppose a new street is to bo laid out ; that is the busi ness of the municipal authorities , who depute their engineer to superintend the work. This onlcer may be , and In New York Is Jlkely to bo Mr. Patrick O'Shaiighnessy ' MeGmth , S. I. ( civil engineer ) , whoso experience extends to the shovel rnd the hod. The street Is opened and typhoid made popular for a few months in that region. Sewers are built any how , with very little respect to the levels re quired for arterial drainage. Why is not the roadway of every street built over n tunnel occupying its whole width from curb to curb , built in three arched galleries , the center gallery - lory containing the gas and water supplies , and underneath it the drainage ; the side gal leries to accommodate the electric wires , tele graph wires , pneumatic tubes and all the gearing of these contrivances for public con venience that exist and may hereafter bo in vented I These pillories should afford height and room for attend ants to pass freely among them. They may 1)0 lighted and ventilated by gratings from the street. I am not an engineer ; I am only a Yankee , and no doubt there are many dflll- cultles In the way of carrying out such a plan } But 1 see a considerable revenue could accrue to the city , by making gas , water and other companies pay mileage for the convenience of locating their pipes , and as there Is "money" in it in that way , some 'philanthropists may and make -what I can't take it up - prac tical. It is needless to point out that the sur face roadway itself over such a tunnel need never bo moved or broken up , and hero alone would bo as a mighty saving to the munici pality , but of course a loss to the Jobbers. Last summer 1 thought I might as welltnko n look at Europe and see if it had changed aiiv since I was over there thirty years ago. I thought as a good many of their people had traveled over hero they might have curried along bomo American ideas , so England might have picked im some Im provements ami bettered Itself. Of course I know they beat us on streets mid roads and public tidiness generally. They have settled down and we have not ; Kngland is finished - that -moans she Is done growing has loft school hus got no more to learn ; wo nro un finished , wo are not half grown and have got a deal to learn -not from Europe , but from the future , which wo uro going U ) make , because Europe Is done with us : its only use was to servo as the cnullo of the United States. But where am I getting to ? O , I remem ber ! The llrst thing that struck rno on board the Cnuard sU-'iunship us I went across was the splendid discomfort that was organized in all the regulations of the vessel ! Whatl No Improvement since thirty years ago when I sailed with old Judkiiis on the Persia ) 1 want to know ! At 8 o'clock In the morning a fellow comes along the corridor , passing every btato room , banging on a gong. Thu seasick passenger had scarcely composed herself to sleep , when the red tnpo fiend stirs her up to a duo sense of her misery. What for ! Why I Not con tent with waking her she smells tin Insult to her btomach - breakfast iirovulls in tito clos.o air of the bhip. Hud iho been left by bleep to recover some little strength , but no sir , there are . " 0 passengers ; of thcso .Mil uro sick ; seven appear at table ; the gong is for these . Two hundred and fifty breakfasts have been prepared ; - " > 0 dinners will follow , for it is not possible to presume upon the weather , and at the first smooth day all or nearly all the sick will suddenly put in an up- pcnruucoi But this day is rough ami .100 meals are , more or less wasted. Doesn't this como of the boarding house system , and that system the worst that can bo applied to pas sengers at sea ? The best part of the ship is sacrificed to accommodate ! iX ( ) persons at table. At the best they appear there for mi hour in the morning and an hour at dinner- lime. The saloon is deserted during the rest of the day , for if the weather is fine the folks are on deck and it it is stormy they are in their staterooms. Aint it reasonable that people ut sea should have their food when their stomachs require it , and that they should choose whiit they do require i Is ft reasonable they should bo served with greasy , ill-cooked , tepid food at hours when they don't want itl If the restaurant system were established , there would bo fewer people - plo in the saloon at a tlmo , a smaller saloon would bo sufficient and better sei'vico en sured. If some thousands of restaurants can be successfully served in Paris , and cer tainly more than three hundred dinners are provided , admirably cooked , cannot the same system bo pursued on board ship , I want to know I Even in Paris and in Switzerland , where hotel-keeping is carried to us near perfection as I can imagine , the tublo d'hote system is a failure. In London the public dinners have long been a standing joke- mean the great civic banquets and tlioso given at Freemasons' tavern. Split those endless tables ; divide the whole business into put-ties of eight ; scparato the service ; let each order from the bill of faro us they do at the restaurant and there will bo n different result. What's the matter with the sugges tion , 1 want to know ! Now hero is another question I should like to put to someone with a longer head than mine , and , as I confess to u llrst class.double- brciisted ignorance on the matter , I am most afraid to put this why on the list. Time was wo hud copper money , and the one-cent piece , not to speak of the two-cent , was an incon venient load ; BO wo invented the nickel.which is a mixture of a moro precious metal with the copper , and the coin was reduced to a profitable and convenient si/.o ; the live-cent silver piece was inconvonientl v small , but Iho live-cent nickel just lilted. Why might wo not apply the same contrivance to the dollar ! The silver dollar Is too large. Thogold dollar was too small. Is there any reason wo should not have a coin of mixed gold and silver , something smaller in si/o than a twenty-llvo-cent piecof It would bo a value ; the dollar-bill only represents a greasy rag. The lowest farm of bill might bo the live-dollar noto. ' 1 his Is found to work well in Europe , and oven lu poor Ireland there is no bank bill lower than a one-pound noto. It may bo said that a cur rency of mixed metals would not bo service able for exchange with foreign countries. Perhaps that might be so much the bettor us It would remain a fixed mitlvo circulation. This objection , however , applies oven more reasonably to bills , which are of themselves of no value , but the mixed metal coin would bo still bullion , containing the weight of gold and silver that , taken together , constitutes the value of the dollar. It seems to mo that this would use up our surplus silver. Does It ever occur to any ono that contagious diseases may bo circulated by these bills ) Surely if the grlpiw was con voyed from Kiissln to the English foreign of fice in Westmlnstor.tho cholera could bo con- vepod In a wait of bills , worn an the person of a cholera patient , jet who thinks of fumigating money ) No , sir ; wo are too glad to get hold of It , to iiiuku any trouble. * * I don't doubt that many of your renders could supplvu because to every ono of those whvs. They have got Intellect Into thorn while I an "a common-senslcal kind of old - I mean fuss-maker. The present gen eration is great on controversy , mid schemes , and inventions , I allow , but it seems to mo that it is like a river that runs too quick to irriguto much all round ; His HO engaged In oolting ahead , it has no tlmo to look around. 1 wonder if 1 am not an old fool ) "I want to know ! " /nt o r . There nro never any of the deal's ut a stag party. A question for Easter Sunday : "Where lid you got that hati" "Hus your chum ituy vices. ' "I uuly kuuw of one. " "What is that ; " "Talking of his own virtues. " The man who takes things as they como never has any "go" ' to him. The queen of all bees is the husking bee. You can distinguish her by her rod ear. An opera singer always appears lighthearted - hearted because she "sings at her work. " Sometimes the lover who is fired witli pas sion for the daughter is put out by the father. Somebody has well said : "White hair in the foam which covers the sea after the tem pest. " When u woman sets her teeth you can gen erally make up your mind that there's trouble hatching. Life is too short to spend precious mo ments raising up people who would sooner walk on all fours. You can tell without looking what kind of a face a woman has who says that pretty things are useless. When an "important man dies he leaves a void , buthe wouldn't if it was something that he could avoid. Funny , isn't it , that when a mini is jailed for drunkenness it is tins business of the au thorities to keep him tight. The great things of life do not wear us out half so fast as the jtotty miseries , which are a sort of mental mosquitoes. McFinglo 1 am going to fit up a card room. What sort of tables would you advise - vise mo to get ) McFnngleWhat's the mat ter with plain , square , deal ones t Philosophy does little good In Dtraightcning a flaw ; A musty proverb won't cut wood , Though it Is an ancient "saw. " Doctor You ought not to smoke If you expect to get well again. Sum Johnilng Dat's what' do medicinal science mil plum on * . How do dehbil does ycr expect tor cure Ham widout sn.okin' ) Impassioned Orator And today wo stand in proud pro-ciuinenei' , while the world looks J on amazed al the thrilling spectacle of "a j government of the imoplc , by the people , and for the people. " Who arc Iho people ) Grand Chorus by the Practical Politicians We uro. Johnny My book , pa , says that honesty is the best policy. Is that true , pa. Munnl- baglpj Yes , my son ; If there hadn't been honest peoplu In tlio world how do yoiisupposo I should over have been able got ahead as I have ) Yes , my son , honesty isa'grcat help to a man , a great help. t'OXXI'lt IA I.I TiKS. A Philadelphia clergyman Is said to have married 11.OIK ) couples during his ministerial career. Phemillier Broussard of Louisiana aged ninety-one has Just married a lady somewhat , over fifty. It is his second marriage. "And you sav you would die for mol" "Darling , 1 would with delight. " "Then glvo mo that test of your affection and I will never wed another. " When It takes a fellow eighteen minutes to assist a girl to don her sealskin saeiiuo thu v' natural inference is that he hopes to no morn than u brother to her , Foreign Prineo My dear Mecs , I haf no words to toil you now mooch I lofe " American Heiress -Put it in figures then , my dour prince. Put it In figures. How would 4.10,000 . a year do ) I A young man led a blushing female into tlio presence of Iho Kov. Dr. Carponlor. "Wo want to bo married , " ho said ; "aro you the Hcv. Mr. Carpenter ) " "Ves , " replied thu j genial minister ; "Carpenter and joiner. " ( "Why , Clara , you liiok radiant. What has happened ! " "I've Just received an luvltatlon wedding. " ' 'Well ' ton , there's nothing par ticular in that to go into raptures over " "Yes , but It hupixMiod to bo my own , " and ' she showed the now engagement ring. , The recent marriage of "Tottle , " Iho | QucenHtown barmaid , to Mr. Dupont , the Maryland millionaire , has turned tlio heads of all tlio barmaids In the Emerald Isle. Every American tourist who now visits Ireland 'is now taken for a probable millionaire by tbe.so pretty and Interesting girls , and Is looked upon as a possible husband. Elder Judd was preaching a .soul-stirring sermon ut Eureka , Mich. Suddenly ho v stopped and looked diued. Heart failure I No ; he remcmlxn'cd that ho was engaged fern n wedding scrvico Just about that hour , and ho dlsmUiicd his cobgregatlon with u rapid benediction and sot nut for the uceno of Iron- bin , llclding , und reached there in time to re lieve un.\lcl ) aud b'1-1 bis little fuo.