Newspaper Page Text
TIIE BEE: OMAILX, MONDAY, OCTOBER 3, 1910.
-HO Brightside and His Boy "Borrowing; Money In Things You Want to Know The Automobile Industry. Chunk," Their Latest Tabloid Sketch. 1 L toi Ch BY LAFAYKTTE PARKS. I "Banking methods that permit a man to get $aw,)0 without any security, strikes nie aa being a tiange vendition In fin ancial 'affairs,- begins Urlghtsi.le. as sapient " Sort, he human encyclopedia, trolls Iri . for' the daily word duet. "This la tins grand little town for big Chunks pf, ,eay cush," replies Son, ex cavating , a .tun h. anil . applying the match. "It's a regular arctic sone, though, for the chap who wants to make a touch for the price of a meal ticket." "In my . hojno ... town If a young man, f business,',', continues .Father, "he couid I usually get it.'., . i 1 "Swell chance a gink would have these V days getting by with a line of dope like I that If be. wanted to borrow the kelt," rstort Son., "if you bring a recommenda tlon In your mitt to prove you're honest, tnese xoxy banners gel suspicious rignt away." "I believe In encouraging .young men to enter business", avers Fatner, "and when tbey can prove their proposition is reason ably good . the banks ought to let them have the necessary capital." "What a chance!" exclaims Son. "If you had, a corner on the peanut crop, a con tract to supply alt the sous In the country, tad all you .needed was the sacks to de liver the goods,, ..you couldn't pry loose the cush with d . crowbar If you handed 'em that kln& of a song and dance." "What method Is required to raise money then?" queries Father. "You've got to make a noise like a mil lion dollars," declares Son. '.'If you make a bluff that money's no. object to you, and you're only borrowing It to give the poor bank clerks something to do so they can hold their jobs, they'll turn you loose In a money vault and tell you to help your self." ',"'". "Suppose I wanted to negotiate a loan of a couple of hundred dollars," Father sug , tests, "what 'would be the best way to I go about It?" . , ' "Tog yourself out In a. bunch of glad rags and a high silk hat, hire a taxlcab and drive to the biggest bank In the city," Bon advises. "Stroll Into the place swing ing a gold-headed cane and . a valet carry ing your morning newspaper. Don't do business with anybody but the president of the bank. If 'you need two hundred, ask (or two hundred thousand and you'll be 1 more apt ' to 'dYajr' down the. slmoleons. When the" main guy O. K.'s the loan, don't f aot In a hurry to get ypur mitts on the f kelt. Just tell him one of your truck f Jt -l .. ,111 '.Alt'- a .,.. n ,4 Inl.p In (h. Aai to oart away the Junk.", Daughters of 1 hi ?e VIOLv FOK.TE5CUG Miss Viola Forteacue, tha actreas, who appears as Mm: Simpson In th dramati sation of Kate Douglas, Wlggln's "Rebecca of SunnybroOlt farm,'.'1' is tba daughter of George - K... Fortescue, tlu heavyweight comedian, who for the last twenty years has been Identified with so many success ful productions of comto opera, musical 'comedy and extra van ansa. George K. Forteecue Is Rngllvh by birth and acquired his - early training on the English Huge. ' Those, possessed of that useful thing called " a' theatrical memory" recall the, fact that, in is.i3. he appeared In "The Golden' .Wedding." ' More recently he appeared In the original American pro duction of ''Saii. Toy," and won fresh laurels by his" performance of Yen How, the Chines -mandarin with many wives and an elsstU eouVe of veracity. Ills unctuous comedy In the tuneful mandarin - song of this nttle opera 1b un forgettable,, with the pkituresque group of Chinese -wives gathered about the com- lan's generous outlines as they sang "Kow-tow, kow-tow '"' To the great Yen How. And wish him the longest of lives With his one-llttle. two-little. Three-little. four-)lttle. ' ElM-hl-ttUle. tan-little wives!" In tha- revival1 of the ' comic opera at Pally ' theater five years ago. Mr. For' taaeua repeated his earlier success, in com pany with James T. Powers, who also resumed al ptiglnal role of Ii. Sine that tuba Mr, Forteacue has been suc TDMrji'l you tell tnt he md tainf pafcttiftf; picture..?" rVMOdnot I tald be painted Estnra to make livicjt" TWairoF rr. MAKE ATtlVFT Lxo. NO OBJCCT TOYOa "That doesn't look very businesslike to me," protests Father. "If they thought you needed the long green for any real business," declare Sod, "they'd put the time lock on the vault, ring the burglar alarm and yell for the police." "When I was a young man," relates Father, "bankers had to be dealt with along strictly business lines when loans were sought good and ample security al ways had to be given." "All a chap has to do nowadays Is to make out a list of the securities he is supposed to own," Son says, "and show It to the bank president. If the list Is neatly typewritten on a handsomely embossed letterhead and makes a nice, fat total. Its chances are good to get by." "And when these m,n who borrow such large sums fall to meet their payments, what happens?" queries Father. "They get a comfortable room In some homelike Jail with the privilege to send out for their meals." answers Bon. "In the meantime their wives try to borrow more money from other banks to get them out on ball." "I guess bankers are more or less scs plclous of women borrowers since the days of Cassle Chad wick,' surmises Father. "Every married woman Is an expert at negotiating loans," Son asserts. "She's aot to be If she wants to get the rent money away from her tight-wad hubby, They are th only ones in the borrowing business who can touch and touch again and never pay back' a cent" (Copyright, 1910. by the N. Y. Herald Co.) Famous Men cessful In light opera and In legitimate roles of modern comedy. In physical proportions Miss Forteecue Is the very antithesis of her father, who, until he reduced his too solid flesh by an effective system of banting, tipped the scales at 366 pounds, a weight that never severely Interfered with, but often accen tuated, his fun-making ability. The daugh ter's form is slender, without even a sus picion of that roundness that might later develop Into something ilka her father's ample curves. MIhs Kortescue was practically born on the stage. Her mother was known as Mrs. Uratton, a famous Mrs. Malaprop of her time, and before Miss Viola had reached the age of 16 years she had toured not only this country, but the greater part of Durope. She starred successfully in "Cinderella'' throughout Australia, and later starred In "Tba Belle of New York," In the British provinces. A few years ago, she decided to desert musical eomdey for the legitimate stage, and In UOe starred throughout this country In conjunction with John Kellard In "Taps" and "Ham let." She also played tha leading 'role In "Qraustark." Refleetloaa of a Bachelor. One reason why a woman can't play poker Is that she generally wins. The most economical woman hate to be caught In the rain without silk stockings. After all, there's only one real trouble with life it's a thousand years too short. When a summer girl can't find her way to the most romantic corner of the veranda In tha dark It's time to consult an oculist. .New York Press. What Every Meaaekeeper Kitm. That she la easily tha beat In tba neigh borhood. That money doesn't go half tha distance that It used to. That It Is Impossible to clean carpets with an egg beater. That nowadays girls are not properly taught how to keep house.' That housekeeping would be very easy if It were possible to get decent servanta. That the servants ought to pay her for cleaning up after them. From Judge's Li brary. Tabloid Pellet. But tha pore-food law do not make any provisions for lov that Is adulterated with filthy lucre. An Ohio man aged TO married a girl aged 10 and deeded her 600 acre of land. Then she had plenty of ground for divorce. A Kansas woman wants a divorce because. her husband throws bricks at her. No man has a right to throw anything at bis wife but bouquata and tvot air. IT . - ,1 -9 1 -a I U- MAIU THl AAOtVtR -B e WROTE SIC , THE PtO.rtOT AG. KCS7 To extAGftra it xiuVr v ' DKAR.OOOb. SiMT. TTMsm.C TVviNS, AJftT A AUQNT re- Hoiii. mail. tmis THURSDAY I got back home a day or two ago, and although I thought It might seem quiet after Mrs. Deerlng's, there have been momenta when it has been more exciting than any place I have been to this summer. Mother wrote ma that Uncle Timothy and Aunt Georgette were going to be here. They are both nioe, In some ways, I am sure,-but It is a severe strain for me to be with them much. Although they try to hide It. and do their best to be kind to me, I can see that they are convinced I would -be a criminal of some sort under tha slightest provocation. Mrs. Dickson Is positive I have been one for some time, but Aunt Georgette thinks If she can exert a little of her Influence over me I may yet be saved. I know she expeots me to elope with the butcher's boy, and could not repress a slight feel ing of satisfaction that she had been right about me after all In her private opinion that I have rather low tastes. Perhaps she Is right, too, for now I come to think of it the butcher boy Is remark ably attractive looking. Such nice blue eyes, and brown hair that Is In lovely maroel waves all over his head. I cannot understand how the cook can prefer the "AUNT OEORQ KTTK HAD BF7EN IN STRUCTING MB HOW TO ENTER THE ROOM LIKE A LADY." ashman, whose features " are not a bit regular, and who has rather brusque man ners. If I had to choose between eloping with the butoher's boy and Harry Van Items of Th "nativ costume of the American woman, aa some cieyer punster nas namra th tailor-made, make possible th wear ing of waists of every sort of material and very design, from th plainest of shirt waist of mannish design to linen and cheviot. - for street business and travel use, to th fluffiest sheerest daintiest blouse of ehlffon, silk and lac for bridge parties, luncheons and matinee. In fact If one would put th tailor-made through all Its fashionable paces, on must have a large variety of waists adapted to oooasions that may arise thin waist and heavy waist. light and dark, severely plain and elaborately decorative. The tailored suit itself remain a plain a always, if not a little mure so, on ac count of th slender line now demanded. Collar ar flat atltobad or military; eoat rr r "S I M f -jt. V I'Li. Mt Muen oau&t.r I I n wire. CootTny TH -mtift ha OOAb Oe. HMtH ! THAT RIAKVtAt'h . "TMlil'a fD t i V. -"yt TUtVitA A A Fl. AUMtSi J!' I w Om! WMATa "THE MIAHA - ut-mcn. im Mci mot. I "that wooi"T "TVtirtKa. 11 on "Mac. a CA. WW , a"T Tomb, who Is always regarded by rela tives as a prise In the way of a husband. would choose the former In a minute. The day after I got back I got a telegram "HB MIGHT HAVB NOTICED THAT BHD HADN'T MUMPS AT ALL." from Tom asking If he couldn't eoma down. It seemed too perfect Aunt Georgette had been Just Instruct ing me how to enter th room Ilka a lady, and I waa beginning' to feel that I never could, so the telegram made a welcome Interruption. Although it seemed so' very much longer, I had counted up and it waa three days, five hour and forty-two min ute sine I had seen him. It I peculiar how an hour can appear to have fully 200 minutes to It when I am with some people, but with Tom it never seems to have more than one or two. Once w tried to keep track, because It struck us both as being uncanny, and though it was noly a second or two sinoe he had looked at bis watch, w found It waa an hour and a half. I met him at th station and w got horn just in time for dinner. Thank goodness we had soma sort of a peaceful vegetable and perfectly well behaved dessert. It waa too awful the last time Tom waa here, as the night be fore there were fried onions, .which he la very fond of, and blueberry pie. He has awfully good teeth, but It is not a bit becoming to him to have them dark blue. If It had been at Aunt Georgette' I should have thought she had done It on purpose. Luckily my cold had disappeared TrT T TCP I J Interest for the Vomen Folk sleeves plain and mannish, without any houlder fullness; the Jacket Is shortened to twenty-three Inches in many cases and th skirt is extremely narrow, with llne that hav a tendency to curve In toward th foot rather than to flare. Fabric range from ratine and serge to velvet with velvet leading In popularity, but cloth holding It own where a sens of fitness rule. Essentially th tailor-made remain sever and simple. Th scope of Its usefulness, however, becomes wider each season, owing to the blouses designed to be worn with it These may cost almost as much aa the ult Itself, if the wearer' purs permits. Nothing Is too extravagant to put Into th fabrication of one' bt waist tor a t&llor-mad a far aa coat of material goes. Th line 1 not drawn vu at brocade and csrl USE.?- WMtUt-rVA. I are otr To etAL ID TAlCI. win III and my nose looked white again. A bad cold is so hopelssly unromantlc. Mollle Turner had a beat young man once who was a doctor. I wonder If he wouldn't have thought she was more in- terestlna when she had the mumos that time. Sh had never had them when she was a child and was horror-stricken to discover that they were unmistakably ap- peering one morning. She telephoned me to come right around, and was frightfully upset about It. I told her It was mumps, and she was perfectly furious. I sug gested her sending for the doctor who had h .n .t.i .a .h. .n.nn. ray head off. Bhe Insisted on having old Pierson. on whom French negligees are absolutely wasted. descrlbed how fascinating It would be to receive a handsome young doctor In a rose colored tea gown and a pink chiffon f . . n.twA L. Ill, . t. . .nA(, - W . " . """" " pf Louise of Prussia. , They could have had tea together and she could have made light of th mump and laid a good deal of stress on having a headache, which can be quit becoming if one 1 a little feverish and theeheeks "IT WAS THREE DATS, FIVE HOURS AND FORTY-TWO MINUTES SINCE I HAD BEEN HIM." ar slightly flushed. If sh had been very tactful and clever 'about it ha might not have noticed that eh bad mump at alt and Just prescribed for the headache. She deolded not to risk ft though. gold lace. These venturesome material ar successfully employed, thank to th modi fying, harmonising qualities of th veil Ing universally used, which keep to th ult color, and tone down anvthlnsr In hue or material that might otherwise seem strident Coop Hvieae. "Cut canned sliced plneappl In small piece and pour over one-half th measure of the pineapple syrup (flavored, If on chooses, with orange euracao),' says Fan- jiie uerrltt Farmer In Woman' Horn Companion. "Cover and let stand one hour. Fill glasses on third full ot fruit, cover with vanilla ioa cream to fill glasses and ' garnish with candled pineapple cut la pieces and candied charrle " MMmisWttHBKMtaltb aaMIMll Two meetings will be held In St. Louis this week which will possess unusual In terest to the American public. The Auto mobile Association of America will meet Thursday In annual convention, and the third National Good Roads congress will convene on the same day. The growing popularity of the automobile has had a remarkable Influence on tha road question In the United States, and It la fitting that the automobile Interests and the good roads Interests should meet together In their annual deliberations. The wonderful Im provement in the roads of the United Btstes during the decade now closing Is attribut able to the great amount of automobile travel throughout the country, and to the enthusiastic efforts of automobile owners to Indues the state authorities to provide better highways. L. L. Whitman, who. on August 11 fin ished an automobile Journey from New York to San Francisco In ten days, fifteen hours and twelve minutes, tells the story of good road Improvement In a most elo quent way. In vm It required sixty-one days to make this same trip, and In 1804 It was done In thirty-three days. When Mr. Whitman completed his recent jour ney he deducted four days, ten hours and fifty-nine minutes from the former record, made by him in 1006. Thus It will be Seen that the running time for the 1,557 miles between New York and San Francisco has been cut down to nearly one-sixth of what lit was only seven years ago. While some of this reduction is due to tha Improvement i in tha automobile, much more of it Is the result of the pioneering work of the ad vocates of good roads. Another long automobile Journey, which speaks volume for the great Internatlonsl movement for the Improvement of public highways, recently was completed by Mrs. Harriet Clark Fisher of Trenton, N. J. Mrs. Fisher is known as the "anvil queen." being on of the largest manufacturers of anvils in the world. Last year she started out on a globe-girdling tour, taklne- with her a man and a man servant. In thirteen months she completed-her trip around the world. 18,000 miles of which she made In her car. During tlis whol Journy she had no serious accidents, and although she penetrated far Into the uncivilised regions of Asia, she experienced little more diffi culty than K she had been touring jn America. The automobile manufacturer are ore- paring for the greatest season of 1911 that tne industry has ever seen. Th supply of 1910 models already 1 exhausted and the agents are now talking about th ad vantages or th 1911 models. It Is estl mated that there may be as many as 200.000 cars turned out during the coming season. The great difficulty manufacturer will ex perlence la In securing a sufficient supply oi me accessories for the eaulDment nt their machines. It Is feared that the busi ness of lira will b limited, not by the capacity or the factories, but by the sun i vj i accessories, .rnere will be a larger number of low and medium priced cars turned out during the coming year than ever before. The popularity of the automobile in rural districts has brought I a oeraana ror cars retailing at less than 1 11,200, and the large majority of tha new factories are preparing to devote their at tention to the production of car for this demand At a recent meeting of the Association of licensed Automobile manufacturers. It I wa decided that the system of dating used n the designation of models ought to be discontinued and a system of lettering sub- ei"ea tnereror. Heretofore, cars have Dn POken of a 1907 models, 1909 models. na xonn. THIS has resulted in an ex ceeoingvy low value being placed upon eoond-nand ear by purchaaer. Under tn6 ytn of lettering, to be followed nerearter, the machines of a aiven vear will be called model A, model B. and so forth. It I believed by automobile deaJera that this will result In second-hand cars having a sales value more in proportion to -hMr ctual worth than I the case to Uy- f 0O"r 'h'V ba,Kl upon tne secona-nana r not intormt th real signl- wi u iviivnnf system. Perhaps th most notable legal decl- slon ever made In the automobll world was that recently handed down by Judge .,,. , w-- w .u I -vrw wa af kllll llll llf 111) TBllia Mty of the Belden patent In 1879 George B. I Seld.n of Rochester. N. T.. tiii . .In cation for a patent coverlna- automobiles driven by gasoline. In 1896 hi patent was issued. Blnoa that tlma there ha been a series of suits pending, and the matter I now is to be carried to the court of last resort A large proportion of tha automo bile manufacture of th country hare The Gentle Cynic Lot of men never gravp an opportunity till aom other fellow haa a hold of It. Th proof of the pudding la In the encore. If necessity Is the mother of Invention ha baa aom mlghtly useless offspring. Bom men fall because they are mis understood and others succeed for th sun reason. To borrow from Peter and pay Paul may merely mean that Peter la an easy mark. Tha longest ladder won't reach to th pinnacle of fame unles th right Irian climb it Many a littl man stands on hi dignity, but that doesn't enable him to see over th head of th crowd. I Dtatano lands enchantment to th view. specially when wa view people we don't I UK. 7r srjeech is merely saying what w I1U to th fellow we know we can lick. Misery la the affinity of company. Women's sphere now seems to b th whole earth. Many a guilty man escapes because he Is so small he goes right tnrougn tn net Monaeatoaa aaeettoa. In the pleasant autumn weather, When the leaves begin to glow, And the forest looks as brilliant A th lady In th show, Sweetly w commune with nature, Feeding on her wealth our soul A we wonder bow in thunder W can buy our winter coal. In a mass of gold and yellow Hang the leave upon the tree. Or on earthward softly flutter On the light Impulsive breese. As we view the living poem. Done In smooth, artlstlo rhyme. It' distressing to be guessing Can we buy our w4 on time. ' -T. JB. M. Joined the Association of Licensed Automo bile Manufacturers, and are fighting for tha validity of the Seldea patent It i said to he one of the fears of th automobile trade that at some future time there may be an over-supply of machines turned out, and It 1 expected that this association will be suc cessful in holding down proUuctlon to at least the point of demand. Th Bcldeit pntent expl'es In 1912, and It Is probable that after that date there will be a reduc tion In the prices of automobiles. On of the demands of automobile owner today Is for a dev1oe that will prevent "Joy riding." During the last year or two so many cars have been surreptitiously taken out by chauffeurs and other tor Joy riding purposes that the owners are highly desirous to have their machines so equipped that it cannot be done without discovery. All sorts of devices have been plaoed on the market and the success that ha at tended their operation range from good to Indifferent. One of these quietuses oa the desire to Joy ride comes In th shap of a plug cut out switch with a look attachment. Another offers a locking at tachment for th gear shift Still another records the vibration of tha machine and the recording instrument Is so locked a to prevent access to It by any on save tha owner. Another device Is an automatic speed regulator. It Is so arranged that whenever the machine travels more than a certain number of mile per hour th power Is automatically reduced to a point within the speed limit. Those who hav equipped their cars with speed control ap paratus find there are no Joy rides and no violation of tha speed law by can so equipped. During the present year there ha been a careful atudy of the adaptability of tha automobile in operation against airship In case of war. The Northwestern Military academy purchased three automobile and equipped each of them with a rapid-fire, 480 shots a minute, .90-callber gun. This gun has a sighted rang of 1,000 yard. Th machine was manned by four cadets and , carried an equipment of 6,000 pound. Under these conditions they went through th strenuous Glldden tour from Cincinnati to Chicago, via Dallas, Tex., a distance of 2,850 miles. Experiments seem to demon strate that the automobile will be effect tv In this field. General Frederick D. Grant thl year declared In an official report that a law ought to be enacted which would enable tha army to commandeer every privately owned automobll In th country tn oase of war. On of th latest things In automobll construction Is th equipment of machine with individual electrle light plant. It has been found that a small dynamo can be placed In the machine to advantage, and that lamps supplied with current from it will glvs the most satisfactory light It will not be necessary for the man who want his lamp lighted by electricity to buy new one, for at much less expense he can hav hi old gas lamps fitted up with electric bulb. A new seat has been invented for Increasing the passenger ca pacity of automobile In emergencies. Thl seat may be clamped on the rear mud guard, the running board constituting a foot rest for th additional passenger. A one of these seat may be plaoed on either side of the machine It will be possible to seat two extra passengers. Another new departure in automobile equipment is th use of wireless telegraphy. In the Glldden tour this year automobile were fitted up with small outfit which had a rang wide enough to keep th tourist In touch with the outside world at alt times. It 1 said that tha city of Houston, Tex., ha more automobile In proportion to Its population than any other city In tha United States. There are 1.S00 machine, with a total population of less than 100,000. The state of the central west are said to have more machine In the rural commu nities than any other section of the coun try, and in these state are found a ma jority of the automobll manufacturing plants of th country. The rise of tha automobll Industry ha had Its disadvantage aa well a It ad vantage, A big hat manufacturer de clared recently In a bankruptcy proceed ing against him that his financial embar rassment grew out of th rise of th auto mobile business. H asserted that ther are not one-tenth a many silk hat sold today aa there were before tha advent of automobiles, and attributed thl to th fact that men who rid In automobile cannot wear silk hat to any advantage. By rmxDzmio j. XAgiKiir. Tomorrow The Ooverameat at Work, X. Tha President. Daily Health Hint According to Dr. Charles Asbury Stephen ther 1 "a premature deterioration of th brain cell In ninety-nine out of every 100 adults tn America, from a lack of good habit In resting them. Nlnety-nln out of every 100 of our people, as middle age 1 raaohed, drift into bad habits of leplng, resulting la insufficient brain rest from day to day and year to year." For Everybody, Happiness Is free to all. Do not be so glum, And, to know you'll be delighted. That It Is not copyrighted, Help yourself to some. Neither I It patented. You should understand. On a claim at once be filing, You cannot be pinched for smiling In this happy land. , T. E. M. tnSXJNDERSTOOta, Jolly fellow, your brother. Sn full of spirits. He tried to ki raJ yesterday."