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Tilh BFE: OMAHA. WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 20, 1911.
The ee'g fime yaga z, i rp p)a THT, BEtA JUNIOR BIRTHDAY BOOK. Told by the Troubled Tourist unci i& me uay we VweieDraie f e Mi f 'Handing somebody a lemon may not be so foolish as It look If we are to be lve the latent returns from Borne sec tions of the country," remarked the Troubled oTurlst. "I observe, for In stance, that a tourist with a pronounced southern accent, who bed been riding on a train through Illinois, alighted at 8t. Lnuls and handed the conductor a lemon. "Th conductor though he saw the Joke and put the lemon In his pocket, but a short time afterward he became aware that the lemon wai leaking. He investi gated and perceived that there waa an unmistakable odor of whisky about that lemon, ami doner Inspection disclosed that sure enough, real double distilled corn Juice was oozing; from a hole In tho lemon skin. "It appears that Hlnce the Illinois leg islature pastcd a law making It a misde meanor for any one to take a drink of liquor on a train, even from his own bottle, tin conductor has had the power to arrest said drinker. Hence the lemon subterfuge. "rteniiiics one of the hippy days In Maine when we winked one eye In order lug clioi ..ia'e soiia, or down in old North Caroline when v.-e laid a dollar on a tone by the roudsirte, retired a mile or ao up the road, and came back to find a jug nhrie the dollar l.ad been. And them v as something In the Jug, loo. "The handy bunch of rubber grain's is also stroiiR in memory. You could carry a bunch of those to the theater with you and nul have l go out between the acts, though It was a little awkward if any of them burst. "About this train law, though, it looks as though dry times were ahead when you can't drink water because there aren't any cups, and you can't use your own particular pet flask. A car full of dry, drummers eating lemons ought to be 'lulte a sltiht. "However, the train prohibition so far Mr. Woodpecker Many birds show very great intelli gence, but the wisdom of the wood pecker Is certainly well worth a little careful study. ' Some persons are of the opinion that reason is no more than keen Instinct; but there is a difference when we come to study some of the habits of a few of the more Intelligent birds. The woodpeckers that inhabit aome of the western wooded districts show a wonderful reasoning power. They actually plan (or months ahead for what they consider a very delicate morsel of food. They provide certain food for a season when that particular kind is very scarce, and they make the work of secur ing it quite, eaay, too. While acorns are falling In the autumn months the woodpeckers climb all over the trunks of trees and peck hundreds of small holes in the wood. They carry .acorns to these cavatles and In seme manner pound or push them Into the holes they have, made, with the point of the acorn In the hole, leaving exposed the larger end. of the acorn. Months after, when winter has passed and the spring has come, these wood peckers return to the scene of their autumn labors, and there In each acorn they find a nice plump worm feeding on the kernel of the acorns they had placed in the holes In the trees. The birds flit from one acorn to another, peck open the shell and extract the delicious morsel of food. The birds evidently knew the worms would be there. Men who have watched the work of these bird white placing the acorns in the holes they made in the trunks of trees declare the birds will carefilly examine an acorn, and If It is found to be one that promises worm life In the months to follow it is carried to the cavity and deposited; but if the acorn is a perfectly sound one the birds will dis card it and pick up another. Most acorns, like chestnuts, are polluted Martha, isn't Dick Jamison the best fun?" tentatively asked the Best Chum, exchanging confidences over the teacups. "You know. I think some artist should use him to epitomize the popular idea of a good fellow. He Is a good fellow, the very best fellow In the world, and I don't understand why you weren't perfectly mad about him.'.' "Goose," said the Maid Who Never Married, "a woman marries a man for hla husbandly qualities, not for his good fellowship. If Jou want to know the true reason I didn't allow myself to be perfectly mad' about Dick, you ahould stop at sister's town house with me for a few weeks. The Dick Jamisons live next door, you know. The only reason I'm not playing the heroin of the aching heart and paying all night electric bills In place of Mrs. Dick Is that I happened to get a peek behind the curtain of the future," and what I saw there closed my eara to all Dick's happy sallies, keen wit. con tagious laughter and protestations of un dying devotion. Absent treatment of the affections never dtd appeal to me anu I couldn't bring myself to taXe a chance on long dibtanca loving. Result: Kxlt Dick, vowing his permanent retirement from the silly world of pleasure and cry ing to high heaven his determination to dabble only In the serlpus things of life from that day henceforth forevertnora. "With Dick's renunciations ringing In my ear I was half sorry for my sum mary dismissal of him. Paruapa, after all, bis good fellowship waa but the nat ural outoepplng of a merry nature, thrae-fourtha generouslty and one-fourth mlaobial. I determined to give Dick an opportunity to get mora farorabla an awer the moment ha gave evidence of having baas aoaered by hla desires to set tle down. "Certainly. I told myself, a man with hope of a home and the woman he loves will And no time for the card table, bachelor parties) and other typical amuse ments beloved of man creaturea. "It seemed every one always counted oa Dick. He'd Oil a table at bridge, com plete a dinner party, lead a eotOloa i -lead hundred dollar bill at a moment' notice. Be waa the Ufa of every party he g-reoed aad waa known to have pit. the seal of friendship oa more quarreli "BtKBS'S HOWI- only exists In itiin.n .tut':. so that If the genial traveler only restrains his thirst until the state line Is passed he will not have to resort to the lemon or any other subtle device. "Borne, states are so big. though, a man mlcht perish before ho got through the desert. "A road with plenty of tunnels ought to be a popular one in a dry state like that, only rare would havu to be exercised In order to avoid the little mistake of Fort Rod Jonts, who was traveling next a veterinarian In a dry state. In the fl-st long tunnel the train came to Forty .1 made a dive for his overcoat pocket and, extracting a bottle, took a long pull at it. Tho next moment there was a riot In the car and Forty Rod was the center of It. He had dived Into the veterinarian's overcoat by mistake and seized a bottle of horse liniment." (Copyright, 1911, by the N. Y. Herald Co.) is a Wise Bird, J with a germ In the earlier stages of the nut's life, and this germ hatches out a worm In the very flesh of the nut and and the meat is food for the worm. It is very evident the smart wood peckers know all this, and much more, and they simply reason that It would be wine to secure a plentiful supply; and this Is the reason they are so busy peck ing the trees full of holes. Each hole will hold an acorn and each acorn will contain a worm. It is said the food supply of these birds would be quite scarce at the spring sea son if they did not reaort to this method of storing away a good supply of meat for that season. San Francisco Chronicle. Jealousy A Limit. Lady Duff-Gordon, at a dinner In New York, praised the beauty doctor. "It has put back the clock at least fif teen years (or woman." she, said. "The woman of 60 years today, thanks to the beauty parlor, hardly looks So years old. In fact, I might almost say that there are no old women any more." "I'p to what age can woman still be called young?" ' a pretty grandmother asked pensively. "No matter what her years," said Lady Duff-Gordon, "a woman Is still young so long as she can make a man Jealous." Why Baby Tried. "Why is babe crying, John?" asked mother, coming into the room hastily. "He doesn't want to get into the bath tub without his rubbers on." said John. "He's afraid he'll get his feet wet." St. Louis Republic. The kanagroo, which Is noted for its enormous appetite, can eat In a given time as much grass as six s.ieep would consume in the same period. Sealing wax does not contain a particle of wax, but consists of ahelac, Venice turpentine and cinnabar. The Maid Who Never Married-and Why than any man in his circle. Fo..s simply couldn't be enemies where Dick was; he wouldn't let 'em. The boys called Pick the 'Keeper of the Midnight Crew" be cause he always stayed until tue last one of them was In bed. He was so good natured he Just couldu't leave one of t'ie mob to crultte about alone. ..o doubt his title of 'Keeper' was well earned. "You recall the autumn of the biggest financial frost in Wall street when dollars were as scarce as strawberries In Jan uary? You couldn't pick up a paper with out reading of another panic;, the noise of the crash of firms which had stood for years reverberated through the draw ing rpoms of the mighty. I knew Dick's firm was being squeesed with the rest Besides, he talked economy and hinted at the prospect of a house uptown in case the hope of his Ufo was realised. I wan pretty certain the hope waa myself and the odds were In favor of rea'isatlon. "Dick left ine one rvenlnx early and went to the club 'o keej a business ap pointment, hardly had lie eneroj when he was grabbed by a fellow mrmber and fairly pushed toward the card lottn. "'Come on, D!tit, be a good ft"'W,' called the players. That settled it. Dick could not disregard the cha'ienKe t. gotd- SOMETHING f U. -- , S PftRL.Mc, eocWWtl) V ' 5AY fMtf l VfWWMWW Sl (MUM') WTHIN6 BX WfTHBtor , asJVT I UefcP HIM? J "(js p yNy (PdDExg.1 COromiHT. IflktT rwOULO YOU PET THAT CAfcMEL THAT 173 (VCFFN. MIS' BROWN?., r- CHAM AM THEIR 7 (tizagfj waHhWj) tr tlJrJx&l . Sm CHANGES COLORj ( WW -y ff&g S ' Loretta's Looking Glass-Held Up to Girl With the Dog A dog on a string leading a married woman may be regarded as a misfortune. But. when it is attached to the leash that drags a pretty young girl like you at the other end it is an abomination. It's an object of 111 omen. In the eyes of men, I mean. It makes no difference how you try to crawl under or endeavor to overlook It. men like women who like babies. It fellowshlp. I never iiund cut hnv much Dick really lost inat night, but It .as enough to cripple .ilm for two ars at least. "No further reference vas mada to the house uptown. By c.uiu-e I llscvercd the cause of Dick's subJuid nrd-r, tnd I gave him his conge. A mtn who IU make love subservient to aood fellowship is not eligible as a biu'n:id no matter what his personal charms inny be "Eventually," contlnii.yd ilie Maid with a sigh. "Dick married a dear, delicate little rosebud of a girl in her first sea son. She adored him, hung on his every word and was in a perfect testacy when he was particularly aattenlive. They toc.k the house next to sleter. For a while it was all billing md o lolrg. '7 he Doves,' they were nlcknnwd. "Just when l"l.-k begjn to dr ft back Into good fellowship r.o one st ems to know, the return was so gradual. But drift he certainly d!d, si the lat 5 cabs and midnight lights told only too plainly. People began to noiioe that Mrs. rK k went about a great la' clone. H-v many times did I. returning In the wee sma' houra of the mi.r.nnr; frvm dnnct or party, look across the dlvidlni? exr ni) of snowdiifted lawn and see Mr. Dick, TM NEW YOSJt FYWWl TtLtttlM (MEW MM HEUl COX ( cose r I YiOVlP, HONEY,) stands for the womanly tenderness, the especial brand of affection that every man believes is essential to the character of a woman. The man may positively fear the red and squirming morsel that represents the future man. He may avoid the house where it appears as he would the plague. He may assauge his conscience for ceas ing to visit the home of his dearest friends because of the new member of -.J hunched up by ihe flra in her boi.Ccir, gazing In the glowing coals to nee the ashes of her dead hopa. How fehe rn to the window at tne sou-vl of evtiy tardy cab or taxi, hoping It would dis gorge the figure of :ir husband uway on good fellow escapades. Nliht after night she sits there, 'bnging and wauMrg, alone. "No, my dear, I have no desire to btrn the midnight oil for a husba.id glvfn to goofi fellowship. It means nerves. Mid nerves mean age an J J have the greatest respect lor youth and beaut j." "Inspiration." Beranger is best known for his bac chanalian songs. One night he waa at supper with Dumaa the elder. The younger Dumas, who was present, was passing through his college course and at that period was exhibiting those characteristics which unfortunately de veloped later In life. Noticing that Beranger had drunk only water, he somewhat Indiscreetly asked: "Where do you obtain, M. Beranger, all the wine which we find in your songs?" The poet's reply was: "Prom the fountain at the corner, my boy. and you would do well to make that the source of your inspirations "Indon Globe. I Should Say Not! mi ii , v ! m (0) ih XS rsl I V CMILIUHS C0M6 I Vf A- "SJlfca tTfli MifrKTT MI&M MAHlH : t2rSr Me WT AS I fi?yti?J JATUZA'J. I KNOW I Mm Wm. Sj I'M $ IrL 1 23 at VMQ.L VO' LOSE wci i t 'UP jto4 ny fwoyp c. T cxoovntssl wijbli vo its pin(9 - -.J the family by sending costly gifts. He may evidence his disapproval In all the silent ways by which men express their dislikes; BUT he is Inutantiy suspicious of a girl who shares his dislike for babies. And here's the point logical or not, it's a fact: a girl with a dog, especially one of the lap kind, summons Into a man's mind a picture of a fat matron who hates babies and adores her poodle. A delightful girl I know has three of these rakish, devoted, Intelligent dogs with hair in their eyes. A man who rec ognises the charm of the girl often plays with her and the dogs. The other morn ing he met the dog, with the girl on the string trotting along behind. "By Jove! It's an Insult to a decent dog.'" he exclaimed with a look at the girl quite unlike any he had caat toward her before. "I wouldn't have thought It of you!" The girl flamed into a becoming anger. "I thought you liked dogs!" she cried. "I do. but not on Btrtngs!" And the pretty girl la wondering at the inconsistency of men. She cannot see why a man will enjoy a girl's possession of three dogs at large on the lawn and resent her taking one out on a string. You, with your canine wad of white wool rolling along In front of you, tangling up the legs of unwary pedes trians, behaving generally In a way that ought to embarrass you, but does not Just learn of me. You are running down the value of your own goods. You are disgusting the kind of men who make good husbands. You are putting yourself in the class with women who are fai-.t, women who hate bablea and women who insult dogs! I'd like to know how you expect anything masculine worth having to want you. You will have to hunt up one of the wlth-all-your-faults-he-loves-you-Ettll kind of men. And they are scarcer than hens' teeth. Men do not have to be tolerant. There are too many girls busy with all their energy at "ex actly suiting" them. I should rut the doffs string; If I were you! s WEDNESDAY, Nuns and AddrrM. School. Ye-ar. Bertha Adams, 5111 North Twenty-third St Druid Hill 1905 Margaret Brorkmlller, 227 South Twelfth St Casfcllar 1S9S Edwin H. Barnes. SS35 Franklin St Franklin 1003 Earl B. Brown, 2211 Douglas St Central lf03 Waunetta Bruncr. 2722 Fort Omaha Ave Miller Tark 1903 Lola E. Byrd. 1901 Dodge St High 1S93 Myrtle Cain, 2616 Brown St Saratoga 1901 Milton A. Cole. 2602 Wirt St lthrop J...1904 Ethel J. Cook, 1614 South Tenth St . Lincoln 1S99 Mable E. Corwln, 1212 South Seventh St. Lincoln 1S98 Helen E. Danlelson. 2232 North Nineteenth St. . . .Lake . - 1900 Eliza O. Donoghue. 2201 Cuming St CasB 1902 Stanford Elledge, 2712 South Twenty-first St Cantellar 1S98 Carlton J. Endres, 2410 Ames Ave Saratoga ..1903 Sidney A. England. 2767 Cuming St Kelloni 1S94 Charles Francis. 11 22 South Thirteenth St Pacific 1903 Goldie Flnkelstein. 919 North Sixteenth St .Cass 1S91 David P. Findley. 3602 Lincoln Blvd Franklin 1905 Bertha Foreht, Forty-fourth and Fort Sts Central Park 1903 Mary A. Fox. 13 Shelby Court High 1897 Roy Laton Gill. 211 North Eighteenth St Central 1S97 Dorothy Guckert. 116 North Thirty-eighth Ave. . . .Saunders 1903 Chester F. Johnson, 2603 North Twentieth St Lake 1S99 Viola Johnson, 974 North Twenty-seventh St. .... .High .1896 Jake Kattleman, 922 South Twentieth St Leavenworth 1898 James M. Knocoles, 4320 Seward St Walnut Hill 1902 Mike Kroupa. 1217 South Fourth St Train 1896 Josephine Lambert, 3301 Pinkney St Dorothy M. Llttell. 3324 Fowler Ave John McLaughlin. 1831 North Twenty-second St. . .Kellom 1900 Ruth Margohn, 1710 North Twenty-fourth St Long 1903 Annie Mlnkin, 1923 Paul St. , Kelloni 1903 Marguerite Moore, 4328 Leavenworth St Columbian ......1899 Luther P. Noble, 2814 Webster St Webster 1901 Juliet M. O'Donnell. 1115 South Twenty-eighth St. ..Park 1897 Adelheid Oeldniann, 1716 Center St St. Joseph 1899 Gaynell Parker, 2004 Clark St Kellom .1898 Doris Peterson, 2553 Ames Ave Saratoga 1905 Charles Roberts. 2447 South Twentieth St Castellar 1898 Thoddine Rountree, 1125 North Nineteenth St. .. .Kellom ....1899 Robert Sackett. 2563 Poppleton Ave Park 1901 Roy Smith, 3204 Pinkney St Howard Kennedy .. 1898 Olive Snell. 3230 Emmet St Howard Kennedy ... 1 S98 Helen F. Stuhldreier, Twelfth and Kavan Sts Edw. Rosewater. . . 1904 Cora M. TolBtrup, Thirty-eighth and Arbor Sts. . .".Windsor 1902 Joseph Trummer, 912 Homer St Bancroft 1894 John Vasko, 1402 South Thirteenth St Comenius 1901 Arthur Waack. 3323 South Twenty-fourth St Castellar 1897 Joe Wolf, 2324 South Twelfth St Lincoln ......... 1899 Jh Fights Between Town and Circus Men "The recent death of Madame Emma Lake recalls to me a most thrilling Inci dent In that energetic lady's early career, when her cirrus was traveling overland In northeastern Missouri," remarked J. W. Murphy of Burl.ngton, la., In a recent talk. "It was In 187. when I was a lad of 10, the age when a boy thinks the man ager of a circus Is an Infinitely superior being to the president of the country. "The battle started at Luray, Clark county, where Madame Lake's clrcuB gave a performance and a 10-cent concert following the main show. It was this con cert that caused the trouble. The round top was crowded at both afternoon and evening performances. The great civil war was Just over and the land was full of impetuous youths. Something at the evening concert didn't set well on the spectators and they became turbulent. As the constabulary of the village waa not large the circus people had to do their own fighting. A free-for-all scrap fol lowed outside the tent In the darkness. ' "The battle went on savagely until dawn and continued In the glare of day. It waa conducted by companies, by squads and individual combats. It teemed that every -fighting man carried a wound somewhere about him. In some of these personal en counters the spectators there were great crowds attending the 'free show' after daylight would form a ring around the fighters and cheer them on to the highest endeavor. Ah! That waa a time of slug ging that would have made light the heart of the prizerlng devotee. "The boys from the army are game the gamenst fighters I ever saw. They brought to bear all the experience and skill they had acquired In hand-to-hand fighting over breastworks and charging abattls. I doubt whether ever before the stake-drivers and fighting men of a circus had to go against a sterner proposition. "During a sort of lull the wagon men munaged to get their teams hooked up and start was made westward to Mem phis, the county seat of Scotland. "Madam Lake was a fromlnent figure In a carriage drawn by eight white Arabian horses. With dozens of other boys I stood about on the roadside while I the circus waa evacuating under fire. I September 20, 1911. Howard Kennedy. .1902 Monmouth Park. . . 1903 - saw Madam Lake, her fine eyes ablaze with Indignation, stand up In her carriage and offer to divide $5,000 In gold among her men If they would beat back the as sailants. At last she was compelled to give the order to her driver to retreat to save heraelf from possible violence, and the way that fine equipage sailed down the highway was the tnont spectacular thing about the whole affair.' No une for any Luray horesman to try to outrun those splendid Arabian animals. I doubt whether a motor could have overtaken them that day. "The attacking party renewed the fight In the morning with axes, using their weapons to chop the apokes out of the wagon wheels. As the wagons were abandoned by the routed clrcua crew they were hauled along the road to Waycond creek-then bank full and thrown in. One of the showmen, who waa badly beaten up, remained In his wagon and was never heard of afterward. We boya followed out to the creek and saw .he gaudy vehicles dumped Into the rushing tide and heard the cheers of the avenger. The destruction of the circus waa com plete. "I think that was the last clrcua that ever visited Luray. Perhaps the town was blacklisted by shows. Anyhow, if Luray wants to see a clrcua now It has to travel far to do so. "Something like two years ago I was driving along the road where the big fight took place and noted an old wagon hub half hidden In the weeds In a fence junior., examination snowed It waa the final relic of Madam Lake's once popular overland circus a mute landmark of Mla sour! In the wild and woolly days." D A Quick Cat. The grayness of evening was creeping over the little suburb. Far away the shrill voices of newspaper boys could be hard calling the 9:30 editions, and the moon cast its pale beama on the worried woman who stood anxiously leaning over her garden gate. "I can't make out where my husband has got to," she remarked to a neighbor. "He went out nearly three hours ago with our cat, a bag. two bricks and the clothesline. He was going to the river to drown the cat. Oh. what can have happenea to nimr' "Don't worry, dear," said the sympa thetic neighbor. "Cats take an awful time to drown, you know." "But It can't be that keeping him." sobbed the distracted wife, "because the cat came back more than an hour ago Tit-Bits. omp Babbles. Pill a quart bottle full of distilled water and sift into It four-fifths of an ounce of Ivory soap, which has been finely shaved. Allow this to dUeolve. then shake and leave till all bubbles have disappeared. Add one third pint of glycerine and after thoroughly mixing the two pour Into a basin and give each child a clean glaaa or clay pipe. The glycerine makes the bubbles very strong and they will soar longer than oti'r. I V