THE BEE: OMAHA, FRIDAY, MAY 9, 1913.
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Communication relating to news and
editorial matter ahould be addressed
Omaha Bee, Editorial department
State of Nebraska, County of Dougtaa. ss:
Dwlght William, circulation manager
of The Deo Publlihlng company, being
duly sworn, aaye that the averago dally
circulation for the month of April, 113,
was W.104. DWIOHT WILLIAMS,
Subscribed In mt presence and swbrn
to nefore roe this id day of May. Uli.
(Bcal) k Notary Public.
Subscribers lea-vino; I He city
temporarily shoulrt have ThuDfe
mailed to them. Address vlll be
changed am often as relnyted.
These are dark day to tbo negro
Every llttlo tarlff-for-rovenue-only
act has an lncomo tax all Us
In that concert' of nations, they
nro trying to make llttlo Montenegro
play the piccolo.
"Clean up," shouts tho Inter Ocean
to tho people of Chicago. Why not;
it Ji a fair proposition.
A college freshman never really
knows how insignificant ho Is until
ho becomes a tophouWe, ...
It must be said for Mr, Bryan, ho
has nevor hid his light tinder, a
bushol, nor oven under a stein.
Now that tho legislature has ad
journed, the Antl-Saloon leaguo
seems to havo suddenly waked up.
Dr. Abbott vas nover expelled
from peaco societies until after he
formed certain editorial afttUattonn.
Hoot, ioa! ABd the dew sufr.aa
et,t& are. after tbe,afi3ilaible Laird of
Bktbo, Weill, let hint hurl a library
or two at them.
If Omaha and vicinity is not quite
so thickly dotted with historical tab
lets as is Boston, still it Is not for
lack of places to put them.
If the Water board will lower tho
rates as repeatedly promised, the
question of rebatos for leakago will
mlnlmlzo itsolf and ceaso to bo acute.
It must be admitted that up tb
date, barring Mn Bryan's cabinet
portfolio, -not many of the federal
plums have yet fallen within the Ne
braska democratic enclosure.
Governor Johnson of California do
nles that ho made tho. remark about
putting President Wilson In a hole.
It is settled, then, that ho said noth
ing of tho kind, but only thought It.
Lincoln now has a homo rule char
ter commission ready for business,
which is welcome, free of cost, to all
the suggestions 'which have been
made t6 our Omaha charter-makers.
Senator Thomas xtt Colorado la
said to havo lost his means of Iden
Uty by having his hair cut Think
of what would happen if tho senior
senator of Illinois should pluck his
Senator Martlne Is - said to be
booming Bryan as ' the democratic
presidential nominee for 1916, ex
plaining that tho people have como
to know Mrr-Brjan, 4 jtls their own
,hu,v .4 wv ua,0 ,wuv.
That- St.- Louis climate seems to
have an Invariably depressing offect
upon Mrs. Dora Poxey-Whltney. Out
in Idaho,- she Is said to walk ten
miles' 10 town, but the minute she
lands lit St. Louis she must be car
ried from the ' train to the hotel on
It Is said that a law suit may be
Necessary to determine definitely
whether the biennial election scheme
begins this year or next But as
every Judge's term of office is Imme
diately or remotely affected. Judicial
modesty, of course, will compel them
to pan It on to a referee.
Mrs. .Longstreet, widow of the fa
mous confederate general, has been
dispossessed by President Wilson of
the postofflce she has been for years
holding, When a change by Presl
dent Taft was supposed to he iniro!
nent a tremendous outcry was raised
in her -behalf chiefly from southern
democrats and action was withheld.
It remains to be seen now whetbor
President Wilson will come in for as
stuck dire denunciation as was
tkrWa4 upoa hi republlcaa, pre
Municipal Credit 0n.ee More.'
Discussion of tho reasons why
Omaha's municipal credit Is not as
high as it should be Is more than a
mere academic debate because U
moans money to the taxpayers of the
city whether Its bonds are quoted
high or low. But all sorts of In
grodlents enter Into the make-up of
a city's crodlt just as they do Into
the credit of an Individual or a
privato corporation. Perhaps some
light may bo shed thereforo by tho
compilation of tho financial statistics
of cities for the year 1910, Just Is
sued by tho census bureau, contain
ing detallod exhibits, not only for
Omaha, but for all the largo cities
of tho country.
At tho cloao of the year 1910 it
should be remembered that this
Is before our $7,000,000 water
bond Issue Omaha's total debt is
given as (9,001,068, of which!
17,531,579 is put down ns an obliga
tion against the city, and $1,469,489
as an obligation against tho school
district Deducting sinking fund
expenses and floating debt reduces
the total to 6, 662,312, or a per
cuplta debt of $62.80. It Is this per
capita debt figure that challenges at
tention, because It Is larger with
three exceptions than that of tbo fif
teen cities next abovo us In popula
tion. In this same column the per
capita debt of Minneapolis Is given
as 938.19, of Kansas City ab $26.78,
of Indianapolis as $18.71, of St. Paul
as $44.01 and to Donver as $6.93.
It Booms to us that thcso figures
rolnforco Tho Doe's suggestion al
ready made, that somo officer, or of
ficial body, should bo charged with
responsibility to glvo us a financial
policy deslgnod to build -up Omaha's
municipal credit rather than lot It
drift as It has boon, nnd buffeted
about wholly at haphazard.
Democrats and the Tariff Board.
Perhaps Minority Leader Mann
should not bo so severe on. tho demo
crats for rejocting tho tariff commis
sion. Idea, since they are not really In
favor of tariff. Congressman Kin
kald seems to sot forth tho situation
rather happily when ho says:
Now i grant that the democratic party
Is perfectly consistent and logical In op
posing a tariff "board. For what use or
utility Is a tariff board without tariff?
There can ba no necessity for a tariff
board when froo trade is the goal.
The big thought for tho country
Just now Is that In passing undor tho
rod of democratic dispensation It for
feits the principle of protection,
which has been in' vogue almost con
tinuously during this porlod of what
may Justly, bo termed the golden age
pf American prosperity. For the
whole democratic Idea of tariff-making
excludes the eloment of protec
tion entirely, However Insistent
oKhA..00 tno demand for tariff re
duction; it-docs not seem either safe,
or wlso to dispense with tho protec
tive" principle, around which, if not
positively upon which, our unprece
dented prosperity has been con
structed. Tho country might view
with more complacency tho opora
tionof tho new tariff law if, with its
revisions of duties, it conserved in
stead of destroyed tho basic law of
protection and progress.
And There Are Others.
An interesting parallel, to a nearby
condition Is reflected In a discussion
being waged JuBt now in tho New
York nowspapers. It seems that the
metropolis has gone to the Catskllls
for a new water supply, building an
aqueduct through some of the choic
est land in Orange and Ulster 'coun
ties, and thoroby Inflicting, it Is al
leged, inestimable damage on the
farms traversed. Complaint Is par
ticularly mado against tho exemption
from taxation of the lands coiv
demand, and the property and
franchise In tho aqueduct,, which, by
subtracting from previous revenues,
threatens to put some school dis
tricts and towns almost out of bus!
riess, To quote from one clergy
To burden a lot of Innocent people In
these counties because n bunch of politi
cal appointees grew fat out of a barrel
filled with grease from Albany and New
York City Is not fair.
Verily, no spot on this mundane
earth has a monopoly of troubles.
Whitman and Jerome.
District Attorney Whttman of New
York seems to be procuring a good
many important convictions without
as much fan-fare as Mr. Jerome, who
In the samo office somo years ago
gained a big reputation as a public
prosecutor. Mr. Jerome may have
been much the better lawyer and a
greater terror to evil-doers, yet U
does seem that in tangible results
Mr. Whitman. Is doing as well and
better than his illustrious predeces
Perhaps Whitman Is but reaping
some of tho fruits of Jerome's sow
ing and cultivating. No man builds
well unless he builds permanently.
Who knows but the present apparent
collapse of certain forms of iniquity
in New York was really begun by
undermining blows dealt by others
who have worked without crodlt. it
seems to be much easier to convict
now than before. "The whole atmps
phere of tho city of New York Is sur
charged at the present time," said 1
lawyer for some of the .accused
"with a determination to convict1
But seriously, 1 it any wonder
after the upheaval of recent expos
ures, uncovering systematic organ
lxatlons for crime, creating the op
portunity soma courageous officer
waa bound to. jwltql
FROM DEE FILES
Thirty Yean Airo
Marshal Gutherie assumed the duties
of his office, relieving Marshal Angel.
who doffed his Mar.
Jtev. Wlllard Scott was formally In
stalled as pastor of St. Mary's Avenue
Congregational church, last evening with
an Interesting program, In which the
following ministers participated: Rev
erends French, Hinckley, Sherrill, Wain-
right, Bros, Swing, Stewart Merrill.
Hamlin and Gilbert
Paving work la temporarily stopped by
mud and water.
C. I Smith, of Jefferson precinct col
lected 20 bounty for ten wolf scalps
A pleasant reception was tendered t
Kellner of Sidney, at the home of Ber
nard Kellner on St Mary's avenue.
The Union Catholic Library associa
tion re-elected John A. Crelghton, presi
dent; with James P. English and Will
iam P, McDevitt. vice presidents; Edward
T. Shelby, secretary; D, J. O'Donohoe,
treasurer, and Miss Stacta Crowley, I.
P. McCarthy and J. Mullvlhlll, members
of the board.
J. B. Smith. 1518 Douglas street, waa
willing to Instruct a few promising per
sons In bookkeeping and help them find
Lj'tlo Brothers have sold N. I. D. Solo
mon, their herd of Jersey cattle for his
Spring Valley farm.
Members of the city council held an
informal Inquest on the overflow of the
sewers, with a view to finding a way
to prevent the recurrence.
Twenty Years Ago
The passenger rate war was fast ap
proaching General Sherman's definition
of military combat and railroads were
admittedly losing money. The Union
Pacific, which met the out of the Denver
& Rio Grande, was saia to have lost
fully 1100,000 In the first two weeks., but
It was In the fight to stay and, said
General Passenger Agent E. I Lorn ax.
would put In a rate of $1 from Salt
Lake City to Omaha If necessary.
Mrs. Fannie O'LInn of Chadron, waa
In the city, en route to the World's fair
Miss Kress and Miss Deworlet returned
from Kearney, where they visited several
days with friends.
Mayor Blake of Sheridan, Wyo., who
was In. the city, said the assessed valua
tion of his town hod reached $800,000, with
growth rapid and substantial. 'They wera
talking of Installing a water plant.
Councllmen ParkeY and Chris Spocht
voted not to approve the bond of V. O.
Strlckler, newly appointed member of the
Board of Fire and Police Commissioners,
but the bond was approved by the ma
jority of the council and Mr. Strlckler
took his place on the board.
Tea Years Ago
The conference committee seeking a
settlement of the big strikes consisted of
the following: For employers, Euclid
Martin, E. E. Bruce. W. 8. Wright, 3, A.
Sunderland, A. C. Smith, T, J. Mahoney;
employes, I V. Guye, C. E. Hart. G. W.
Miles, W, II. Bell, W. II. Moore, J. E.
Crews, T. W. McCullough.
X. Kahn, owner of the steamboat Mari
etta, left for PaducAh, Ky.; to make ar
rangements, to run the boat between Bt
Louis and the south for the'eeoson,
W. II. Crow attached sixteen horses,
some of them fast blooded, stock, nnd 109
acres of ground near Parsons, Kan,, to
satisfy a- claim.
Mr. and Mrs, C. EL Tost, Mr. and Mrs.
George F. Btdwell, Mr. and Mrs. John C.
Wharton, Rev. Mr. and Mrs. E. II. Jenks,
Mr and Mrs. W. F, Allen, Dr. nnd Mrs.
It C. Moore, Mr. and Mrs. George Thum
mel and Mrs. Heth were guests of Mr.
and Mrs. Robert Dempster at an evening
The Omaha Field club had Its opening)
day. A feature of the etenta waa a ball
game In which the C N. Diets team beat
the Field club. IS to 7. Knight and Hath
away were the Dicta' battery, Gordy and
Martin the Field club's.
Superintendent Hunt of the Omaha
Water company sent two names of men
to President T. C. Woodbury In Boston,
from which the latter was to select the
company's appraiser for the determina
tion of the value of the plant to be bought
by the city under the terms of the Howell
Immediate compulsory purchase act. Tne
names were W. If. Bryan, a noted en
glneer of St Louis, and former City
Engineer Rundlett of St. Paul.
People Talked About
Health Commissioner Lederle of New
York touches a popular chord by starting
a .crusade for pure pies.
Mexico was represented at the peace
conference In St Louis. The delegate
came over the line to see for himself
what peace looks like.
The tallest soldier In the German army,
a theoloslcal student, .named Zimmerman,
who Is undergoing his military service at
Ratlsbon, Is feet Mi Inches In height.
John Rennle, oldest purser of the At
lantic who has crossed the equator 4JQ
times on voyages that aggregate S.eol.OOO
miles, ended his sea career with the ar
rival In New York cf tho liner vasan
from Buenos Ayres,
John King Samuels, SI, formerly of New
York, has re-eullsted at the naval re
cruiting station In Lor Angeles, Col., Is
the richest man In the United States
navy. Recently he became heir to an es
tate valued at $1,000,000.
'President Huerta of. Mexico decides that
October K is a good date on which to
hold the presidential election. Four
months will enable every candidate to put
his army In shooting trim.
Miss Carrie Outtd. a school teacher in
Potter county, Pennsylvania, has started
on a S,000-mlle Journey to Colorado, where
she will become the bride of Leon Prince,
formerly of Potter county.
Mrs. E. IL Harrtman has made an of
fer to the American Museum of Safety
of three medals, to be presented each
year to the railroad and Its employes
which beet devises means for reducing
the dangers of- travel.
Connecticut courts have disbarred
New York lawyer whose speed as a rail
road "ambulance chaser" became of
fensively swift 'tor the local product The
"land of steady habits" hod to do some
thing to stop outside competition.
A fire engine driver on trial In Allen-
town. Pa, for fracturing the moral code
tried to work off on the court the moldy,
overworked Adam excuse, but the court
wouldn't have It and gave the culprit
six months la jail to think up a better
Twice Told Tales
Cnrtnlllno' n Fish Story,
When Senator Hoke Smith of Georgia
was abroad, he attended a dinner one
evening at which tho diners were relat
ing their advanturcs:
"An Englishman, who had recently re
turned from Africa, related a tale of a
tiger he had shot which measured thirty
feet from snout to tall-tip," says the
senator. "Of course, every one was-
astonished, but no one ventured to In
sinuate a doubt of the truth of the story.
"Presently a Scotchman told a story of
a fishing adventure he had Just had. He
caught a fish which he said he was
unable to pull In alone, landing It only
after having the help of five friends. He
said the fish covered two acres.
"Complete silence followed this story
and the Engllsman, decidedly offended,
nroee and left the table. The host fol
lowed. Returning In a few moments, he
said to the Scotchman;
1 Sir, you have Insulted my friend. I
must ask you to apologise.'
" 'I dlnna Insoolt him,' replied the
" 'Yes, ho considers that you did,' said"
the host 'with your two-acre fish story.
I must Insist upon an apology.'
' 'Well, said the offender, slowly, 'tell
him If he will take fifteen feet off that
tiger, I will see what 1 can do with
the fish.' " " '
Root's Vein of Romance,
Senator Root praising one of the Ameri
can pictures at the recent International
exhibition In New York, said It was as
poetical as an old storekeeper he had
known In his boyhood.
"This storekeeper," he went on. "was
always doing kind ththgs and saying
lovely ones. I remember a spring when
he was having his store repainted. He
told the painter to leave a certain corner
untouched for the time being. He ex
plained that the young people at that
season did all their courting there and
he didn't want them to get smudged.
" 'But objected the painter, 'these
young folks would be fools not to know
the smell of fresh P&lnt'
" 'Young feller,' said the old store
keeper, 'you've never had a girl; that's
plain. If you had, you'd know that when
folks ore In love everything wet, wet
paint Included, smells like vlolents and
Precision of Figures.
President Wilson at a dinner In Wash-
Inton said of a statistician:
"His figures are so precise that one In
clines to doubt them. He Is like the
American sugar plantor In Hawaii, who,
taking a friend to the edge of a volcano.
That drater, George. Is just 70,00
" 'But why the fourT' George asked.
" 'Oh, I've been here four,' was the
reply. 'It -was 70,000 when I came.' "
Stories in Figures
Official statistics recently published,
show that during the year 1912 only
1.S40 aliens were naturalized pr read
mitted to British nationality.
American exports to Turkey go up
about tenfold every ton years. They
rose from. $50,000 in 1SS1 to SSO0.O00 In la,
and then to 16,000,000 In 1911.
While Russia, occupies, first place among
the grain-exporting nations the empire
Is, nevertheless, also an importer to the
extent of 300,000 tons annually.
Nevada, California, Wisconsin, Massa
chusetts, New York; Connecticut Rhode
Island and Vermont have more than 2S0
insane persons to esuch 100,000 population.
In Hongkong, where labor Is still very
cheap and the port Is free to the com
merce of the world, the rise In the cost
of living has averaged at least 5 per
cent since 1E9S.
Egg production In the United States
Increased from 460,000,000 dozen In 1SS0 to
1,300,000,000 dozen In 1900 and to l.TCO.000,000
dozen In 1912, the exports last year
amounting to 19,000,000 dozen.
The tobacco industry In southern Rho
desia Is making enormous strides, the
coming season's crop being estimated
at from 2,600,000 to 1.000,000 pounds,
against 1,397,000 pounds for the 1912-13
season, and only 450,000 pounds In. 1911-12.
No man stands on his dignity when ho
sits on a pin.
A hard head and a soft heart seldom
travel In double harness.
Things should be done Just to a turn.
especially In a vaudeville theater.
Happiness, It may be noticed. Is always
purchased on the Installment plan.
One way to avoid the heed of a calen
dar Is to have some notes In bank.
Money Isn't the only thing In the world.
There must be somebody to spend it.
Tho ethics of no profession is so high
that some members can't Jump over.
A man would not make anything out
of it If he did Invent a costless carriage.
To always say the right thing at the
right time, one must be an accomplished
The average oil well is never such a
gusher ss the man who writes the pros
There's no use In being more inter
ested! In other people's affairs than they
A matrimonial establishment rarely goes
Into bankruptcy tf one of the members
Is a silent partner. Philadelphia Ledger.
Around the Cities
Atlanta will Install a municipal gar
bage crematory June 1.
Ban Francisco Is investing lSO,700 In
municipal street railroads.
On and after June 1 only bottled milk
may legally be sold In New York.
Brookltne, Mass., sold to be richest
town In the world per capita, does not
permit moving pictures.
Smiths and Jones occupy, thirty-one
columns In the new Bt, Louis directory.
Five hundred marriage licenses were
Issued In one day In Philadelphia re
cently. On the same day sixty divorces
Zamboanga will be the first munici
pality to own an electric light and power
plant in the Philippines. The Mora capi
tal has been authorised to float a $100,
000 bond Issue, for establishing the plant.
Milwaukee's water department has re
funded to the city treasurer every dol
lar raised by taxation for the establish
ment and maintenance of the system
and has now a plant which the state
railway rate commission has valued at
7,iaS7i usluslvs pt ssevtae aad jneters.
Oddities of Life
Mrs. Matilda Wynne, an Oyster Bay
negress and scrubwoman, leaves an
estate valued at 0.000.
Romping with his little grandson,
Frederick Wagner, Pen Argyl, Pa., was
blinded In tho left eye by an arrow from
the lad's toy gun.
Nine persons connected with one family
observed the anniversary of their birth
nt a birthday party given at the home of
J. A, Faxon in Chester. Pa.
Mrs. Clara L, Jackson, who lives In
Jefferson, Me., inherited from her mother
peony now more than a hundred years
old and still blossoming punctually.
In raiding a "cocking main" In Wash
ington the police found the feet of the
fighting gamecocks encased In one-ounce
boxing gloves Instead of steel spurs.
A kid crook In Chicago on trial for
stealing a sapphire ring so mumbled his
words of denial that a search of his
mouth revealed the Jewel under his
In & boarding house bout against
tobacco smoke in Burlington, N. J., the
women attacked the male smokers with
the fumes from corncob pipes loaded with
the rankest weed. In twenty minutes the
men were smoked out and In half an hour
three doctors were treating a bunch of
mighty sick but victorious women.
Andrew Kline, auctioneer, near Dllls-
burg, Pa., has a barrel which, instead of
being made of wood, Is made of platted
straw and In such a way that it Is per
fectly watertight Barrels of this knd
during the revolutionary times were fre
quently used. Mr. Kline also has a dozen
pewter plates In perfect condition.
Despite the fact that he Is $5 years
of age. Nathan II. Morgan, oldest resi
dent of Salisbury, N. H., Is ablo to hold
two men above the ground clinging to
his outstretched arms and has made a
record by cutting and sawing eight cords
of wood since last fall, besides doing all
the other work on his farm.
Tabloids of Science
, A German military surgeon proposes
portable crematories to follow the army
Kerosene will quickly cleanse zinc or
enameled sinks, bath tubs and refrig
A new fuel for Internal combustion
engines, invented in South Africa, Is
made from paraffin.
Locust has the greatest tensile
strength among ordinary woods, 2,200
pounds to the square Inch.
Paris bakers are united In maintain
ing av laboratory where the materials
mado 'use of by them may be tested.
Japan has made notable progress In the
development of hydroelectric power.
Nearly 400 companies have put more than
2,000,000 horse-power at work.
European engineers belleva that, as soon
as desirable. It will be possible to build
aeroplanes with a wing spread of 100 feet
and carrying from 10 to 20 passengers.
German electricians have found that
sriow never collects on transmission
lines that carry 100,000 volts or more,
even when they ore not charged and
It is estimated that an Investment of
$$60,000,000 would be required to produce
mechanically as much nitrogen as
comes yearly from the nitrate deposits
Several metals, In sufficiently thin
sheets, become transparent when heated
to high temperatures, but aluminum, de
spite Its lightness, so far has proven Im
penetrable by light
It has been estimated by the geological
survey that the unreclaimed swomp oreas
or tho united States contain deposits of
peat which somo day may be mado to
yield 12,000,000,000 tons of dry fuel.
scientists who plan to explore the Arctlo
regions in tho near future will carry
wireless apparatus to enable them to
communicate with the wireless station at
Spitsbergen, which is only 1,000 miles
from the pole.
Prof. Surface of the Pennsylvania
agricultural department wants to get
rid of the sparrows. He proposes that
they shall be inebriated by feeding op
grain soaked In whisky, when they can
be easily caught and humanely killed.
W. II. Homer will start a weekly paper
C. D. Casper will move the Herald from
Northport to Bridgeport.
James II. niggs celebrated his four
teenth anniversary as proprietor of the
Waterloo Oozette May 1.
Wayland P. Gardner, whose paper at
Leniwood suspended publication several
months ago, has moved hit outfit to
Surprise, where he has started a paper,
The first number appeared last week.
The literature department of the
Wayne Normal school will edit the
Wayne Herald the week of May 15. All
the news matter for that- Issue will be
gathered and written by the students.
The Valparaiso Visitor has cut down
the alse of its paper, and gives as the
reason that the home merchants do not
advertise and he cannot put out a $15 a
week paper on a US a week Income.
Edgar A. Guest In Detroit Free Press.
I hold that gardening's splendid fun.
I am the chap that some think odd.
X like to rise and greet the sun
To turn and break the stubborn clod.
It's great to spend an hour or two,
8ome care unto the back yard giving;
But this I will admit to you,
I'd hate to do it for a living.
There Is no toll that quite compares
To delving dally with a spade.
And with a hoe cut down the tares.
Or bring a front lawn up to grade.
'With joy It makes the pulses throb.
And starts the heart beaUng gaily:
Tis true I glory In the Job,
Out I would hate to do It dally.
Take It from me. you sluggish men.
Whose arteries may some day harden
Tor lack of work, lis truth I pen;
Tou ought to labor In a garden.
00 bend your backs above a spade
And strain your muscles with a hoe;
There Is no more delightful trade.
Unless that way you earn your dough.
1 glory In the stubborn ground.
And conquer It with fertlllier;
Now every morning I am found
A bright and smiling early riser,
Jt's fun to haul In toads of dirt
And lug out chunks of solid clay;
In confidence, though. I'll assert,
I'd hate to do It by the day.
Think you I mind this aching back.
Or cars because my muscles twinge
Or that my bones, with each attack.
Itemtnd me of a rusty hinge?
No) Oardenlng Is wholly Joy, ,
A source of pleasure unalloyed;
But. confldSntally, my boy,
I'm MiA I'm. otherwise employed.
Mrs. Ncwedd (to tramp) Aren't you the
man who called here last week?
Tramp YoU mean the pore fellow you
gave the "ome-hude pie to? No, mum, I
ain't him. He left me his qr togs whi
he pegged out, dat's all. Boston Tran
script. "I understand," said tho Married Mart
in the art gallery, "why the Venus of
Milo Is considered the Ideal woman."
"What's the answer?"
"Being arniless, she couldn't go through
her husband's pockets'." Baltimore Amer
ican. rtrst Cut-Throat and Robber Did you
pull off that Job In Syracuse?
Second Cut-Throat Now. Do you know
when 1 get nway from New" York I get
"I sentence you to two years In prison,"
said the judge, soverely.
, "Well, Judge," replied Plodding Pete, "1
know you are doing this to humiliate me.
But I want to remind you that Borne very
wealthy and some very talented people
have been going t6 prison lately." Wash
Tnm. fhft Til nnr' M nn UnA .Inl.n f v. n
pig and was running away with It.
1 wuuiun 1 nave 10 uo mis, no uiuo-
hprnri. "If riflrl ft1lM mnlA 1I..Im I...
the fam lyl"
For In all ages of the world there navu
been musicians to whom music waa an
art rather than a livelihood. Chicago
fitudo Do you smoke, professor?
Professor-Why, yes, I'm very fond of a
Htude Do you drink, sir?
Professor Yes, Indeed. I enjoy nothing
better than a bottlo of wine.
Stude Gee, It's going to cost me some
thing to pass this course. Cornell Widow.
"Didn't I see you turn on the electric
light Just now?" demanded the manager
of the ball team severely.
You did," admitted the JZ2.O0Q pitcher.
"Always call a bellboy to do that.
You gotta take care of that wing."
"How are the plans for your new
house coming along?"
"Splendidly. My wife has finally laid
The Cleansing, Seotking,
After tho razor has done its work and
you'vo washed and dried your face, apply
PASTEU RINE pure or diluted with cool water.
It quickly heals those tiny skin abrasions and
bleeding cuts and destroys possible germ infection.
PASTEURINJS hardens the too tender skin and
eradicates unBightly blemishes ol tho complexion.
PASTEURINE allays razor irritation and
pfeventsthat"itchyBtiffness"of the skin. Itmakes
your face feel cool, comfortable and flexible.
10c, 25c, $1.00. At Drug Stores
If your druggist does not have PASTEURINE
send ub 10c for large trial bottle and literature.
Jno. T. Milliken & Co., St Louis, U.S.A.
once irom the picture.
Engravings can be made either from,
photographs or drawings, or direct from the
object Itself. The engraving plant of The
Omaha Bee la thoroughly eaulDDed tn hunrti-
W ev?ry deta. Including
. r wui c"6iom uuve oaen cnosen.
each because he Is the best In his own line of work
Onr equipment la the newest and best.
When you need Illustrations, give ub an opportunity
to Bhow our ability. '
A newspaper engraving plant makes cuts
which show good results under most difficult
printing; conditions. Our prices reasonable.
out ojl the cupboards she wants and row
an me nrcnueci s got to io is 10 uuih
the house around them." New Orhan
Hub The doctor says It I keep work-'
Ing at this place after money, I shall t
a wreck nt 46 years.
Wife Never mind. dear. By that time,
wo shall be ablo to afford it Boston
"Who's that Impressive looking woman
"That's Mrs. Peckum. She's a romark-.
ably strong-minded woman, and they do
say that sho commands a very large sal
ary." How docs she earn It?"
"Sho doesn't earn It. Her husband
earns It and she commands it" l'ucn.
A- little homo adown a lane,
A vine upon the ftneo In uloom;
A child face ttt the window punt.,
A sweetheart singing through the rolit
A frugal board around whose rim x
Brlgnt faces of tne morning snlr.c;
Tho music ot n little hymn,
A bluebird In tho crecpur vine.
A hopeful trust and confidence.
In mutual purposes of Ufo:
One woman and a constant love.
Fair children and a faithful Wife.
Oh, masters of tho force of things,
Tho powers and potentates that be,
Look on the peace that hlthor vlr)ff
And tell me If you envy met
A llttlo toll to make life mean
A manly and a wholesome task;
A bending tree, a plot of green,
A little for the poor who ask.
A feeling In my heart for those
Who face tho thunder and the flame;
Beneath the feet that ache a rose,
For every man a gentle name.
An elemental drift toward
The honest truth as far as men
Can guess tho purpose of tho Lord
And live as brothers should again.
A twilight when the purple skies
Die Into shadows thin and gray, '
And God looks down with tender eyes
To see us put our cares away.
v The Best Part
of the Shave
Welcome to thjis new com
fort in the shave. It is the
finishing touch that makes you
forgot the razor that pulled,
the burning sting of a tender
skin, the hide you lost, and
those "bleeding blunders"
cuts'. In fact your shave gets
to be almost a necessary
pleasure when you wind
may be obtained
through the use o!
Pictures tell the story of
the goods advertised and
everybody grasps the point at
making the original photo-
The Bee Publishing
SL, Omaha, Neb.
ghni a t 1
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