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THE BEE: OMAHA, TUESDAY, JUNE 17, 1913.
6 r t -i t ft HE OMAHA DAILY BEE yicTonTROSKVAfnu. amToft EE"lFuib01NQ. FARWAM ANU 1TTH. ' Kntered at Omaha postoftlce as second- fcltsa matter. TERMS OP SUBSCRIPTION: Bunday Bee. one year-. Baturday Bee, one year J Dally Bee, without Sunday, one year. 4 ' Dally Bee, and Sunday, one year..-. DELIVERED BY CARRIBR. Evening and Sunday. pr nonlniv; ; Evening, without Sunday, per mntn.-c Dally Dee, including Sunday, per mo.wc Dally Bee. without Sunday. P!,,,0,;??? Address all complaints of Irregularities In delivery to City circulnHojPj.. REMITTANCE. Remit by draft. cxprtM or postal order, payable to The Bee hlnR, company. Only 2-rent stamps recelvi d In P ment of small accounts. Personal checks, ex cept on Omaha and eastern exchange, not accepted. OFKICEB: Omaha-Tho Bee building. Bouth Omaha 318 N StwL Council Uluffs-H North Main street. Lln-oln-K Little tmlldltitt. Chlcapo-001 Iea"t biilldlnB. New York-Room 1106. JSC rPe Pt Iouls-BOS New Bank of Cpinmsw Wahlngton-7 Fourteenth St.. N..W. CORRESPONDENCE. Communications relating to editorial matter should be nddrcssea Omaha Bee, Edltorla ld epar t ment. MAY CIRCULATION. 50,261 Bute of Nebraska, County of Douglas, m: Dwlght Williams, circulation manager of The Bee Publishing company, being duly sworn, says that the average dally circulation for the. month of .May. 1913. was 60,261. DW1C1HT WILLIAMS, ' Circulation Manager. Btibecribed In my presence and w lo before me tbl. ftbdaof J X (Heal.) Notary Public. Snlisrrlhers lenTlntf the city temporarily should have The nee nailed to them. Address will he chsnRCil a often ns reeneteI. Who was It dared to remark that it's cool In Colorado? Tho senate lobby probo soonw to have lost most of Its point. What is wanted Is light, not heat, on this gas franchlso question. Iffl4human naturo for a man to blame on others misfortunes brought on himself. That United States supremo court ecems to bo sort of a hoodoo for tho city of Omaha. Theso hot spells aro tho days when tho boon of lower water rates would bo appreciated. Old Sol runs tho parks, not tho park commissioner, In thoso, piping days of 06 in tho shado. The "insidious lobbyist" is running tho "undoslrablo citizen" a tight raco for first place In White llouao folk-' loro. It's certainly tough on Mr Bryan when he lias to cancel spoaklng data? to. attend. .to Btato department business.' " -v A congress of Insidious lobbyists in connection with the Pana'ina ex position would bo a novelty (f not lan attraction. ........ So we had to go all tho way. up to tho supremo court of the United States to got light on our -Omaha light question. It 1b to bo hoped the summer's heat will not make us so dreary as td for got that matter of stato government by commission, A New York banking house ad dressos a circular to tho public, on- titled, "What is Monoy?" Why put it up tb tho public? Hoch der Kaiser! Congratula tlons on twenty-live years of peace ful reign by the greatest war lord of modern times. Soma of tho opponents to tho plan of modernizing our state university seem to think it Is right to fight by fair meanB or foul. ; A professional lecturer commits suicide when business falls off, which Is deplorable, of course Just as aro to many professional lectures. Some people tako themselves al together too seriously. Wo com mend this thought to our dis tressed Chautauqua dato maker. Several editors express doubts as to the value of their experimental appearance In the pulpit. Value to the congregation or valuo to them selves? Kansas farmers aro fighting grass hoppers with kerosene. Which must remind Mr. ftockefellor of the old adage about an 111 wind that blows lobody good. Alfred Austin cared not who made the nation's laws or wrote Us songs, so long o he drew a salary as poet leaureate Courier-Journal. Tho salary of the poet laureate is ? 485 a year. Lincoln still furnishes water at 15 cents per 1,000 gallons. But thero the water department Is under the commissioners the same as other city departments. That South Dakota new law that requires saloons to be placarded seems to go on the theory that parched people up there have a hard time to find a thirst quencbery. That capitol employe who literally kicked an "Insidious lobbyist" out of the office got more results In flvo minutes than the senate investigating committee has achieved In weeks. Results of the Lobby Inquiry. Tho senatorial lobby Investigation has divulged a good deal of general Information as to tho methods em ployed by largo Interest In combat ting and promoting legislation, but It has not as yet fixed the odium of tho charges mado by tho president upon individuals. It may do so be foro completed and will provo dis appointing If It does not. It Is to lo regrottod, so far as serious results nro concerned, that Internal friction has arisen in tho commltieo, for that cannot help but mar tho effective ness of the inquiry. Nothwltlistanding the failures of the Investigation to shed particu larly new light upon tho system of lobbying so as to single out "Insid ious" offenderl, it will havo had its successes in a fuller revolatlon of tho old conditions If subsequent action is taken to right the wrongs and cor rect tho abuses. Wiiat should bo dono after this probing is to deflno the limitations of lobbying, so as to distinguish between tho legltlmato rights of citizens to confer and advise with their representatives on matters of legislation and sinister interfer ence. It Is high tlmo for such defini tion and discrimination when men known for twenty years about Wash ington stand up and tell a senate committee that they havo directed the expendlturo of half a million dollars In a porlod of years promot ing or opposing legislation. The Biggest Beneficiaries. People who contilbute tho least to sup port a newspaper usually knock on thorn the moat. Some of those who say the meanest things of a paper are men who nooch the greatest umount of freo adver tising at the expense of the publisher. Western Laborer. Now you'ro talking. An Just lot us add., by tho way of emphasis, mat the people or tho town as a whole, aro tho biggest beneficiaries of tho nowspaper that Is fight ing their battlos day after day and tproadlng tho fame of tho city far and wldo by constant publicity which it would tako a mint of money to buy. The Los Angeles Problem. Los Angeles has found as tho re sult of n municipal Industrial In vestigation that, whoreas it requires ?4 a day properly to maintain a family in that city, moro than 6,000 of tho 50,000 worklngmon Inter viewed, .recolvjo, Jess than $2 a day wage; that In department stores 64 per cent of tho employes recolvo Icsb than $2 and 42 por cent ro coJyq less than $1.50 a day. Los Angeles has had a phenomenal growth In population, It U a beau tiful and delightful city and Its in- ddstrlos 'are steadily multiplying and expanding, but evidently Its malarial prosperity cannot kooi) pace so long as such acute economic problems oxiat. . . Tho report fllod by the city's investigators observes: . .The. .Buffering, .deprivation and disap pointment .Wblph, these Inadequate wages Indicate, must be very great. . White tho committee may havo .fixed its minimum of $4 a day a Jitlla high, .its .conclusions ns to the molancholy aspect of tho situa tion aro not to be gainsaid. Lob Angeles has been distinguished for Its versatility and agroBslToness In civic roform experimentation as well as population growth. On tho ono hand it has an army of underpaid wngo earners, on tho othor, 'as tho lato city election showed, a rapidly Increasing socialist vote. Some things soom obvious in its plight; ono Is that stem economic Ills cannot bo eradicated or cured by polito theories of civic reform alone. Tho poor wo havo always with us, but that doos not answer tho question confronting Iios Angelos. Secretary Bryan's lunch. Mr. Bryan's reputed plan of carry' ing his own lunch to tho office each day Instead of going out to get it at a cafo or restaurant is democrati cally characteristic of him, Mr. llryan Is a lover of tho slmplo Ufa and wholesome food. He craves bis grape julco and his radishes. Ho might get his fill of them ovory day by having Mrs. Bryan put up his lunch nt homo. Then it has beon remarked that the frugality of the plan also commended It. But that we are sure, is not an element of consideration. The sumptuary ques tion is not troubling Mr. Bryan. His example, however, might sot a highly valuable precedent to clerical subor dinates. And what a dramatically 1m preeslre object lesson In simple Jof- fersonlaa democracy it would teach for tho premier of the cabinet to trudgo through tho streets each moraine and evening with his little lunch basket swinging from his arm going to do the business of his na tion with tho nations of the .world? But all theso good-humorod little stories on Mr. Bryan grape Juice, radishes, marketing and lunch basket only go to show that he continues to occupy the center of the stago around which the affairs, gossip and bualnc&a of the present admlnlstra Hon seem to revolve. Mr. Bryan has a dominating personality that stands out in Jest or gravity. A corespondent writing to the New York Evening Post declares that tho direct primary In Nebraska has completely dethroned all the "political bosses" and put tho one time powerful "maohlnes" In the scrap heap. That sounds rcasona hie. But then, what are we still fighting about? BackWatd L00K1W ThiS ft ittOmaliaJ COMPILE TROMDMriLM J JUNE 17. r1 000 I Thirty Years Aw Among the delegates from Nebraska to the American Institute of Homeopathy, to be held at Niagara Falls, are Dr. O. 8. Parscll and Dr. Wood of Omaha. At the German theater "The Young Lieutenant" was put on with Miss Mag gie Tonnat In the title role, supported by Mr. and Mrs. Baurcls, Mr. Puis and Mrs. Puls.Aht. L. T. Calkins, formerly of Fairmont, later of Lincoln, accepted the position of traveling passenger agent of the Bur lington. Hon. John A. Crelghton and wife have returned from a month's visit to Ohio. Prof, and Mrs, Bo he nek and daughter of Dayton accompanied them and will spend tho summer In this city. A. C. Davenport, formerly of The Bee, but now with J. J. Brown, has gone to Ithaca, N. Y., and rumor says he will not return alone. Mlis Clara Brown Is back from Chi cago, where she has been attending Miss Orant's ladles' academy. R IS. Klttrldge. lato of Rockport, N. Y., has beon engaged as night olerk at tho Paxton. t Mrs. Alfred Morris Is visiting her sis ter, Mrs. LaFlest, In North Platte. Mrs. P. Van Burcn has arrived to visit her sons. 8. S. and P, Van Burcn. Rev. Wlllard Scott went to Crete to address tho Young Men's Christian asso ciation at that place Twenty Years Aro Mrs. B. T. Kussell of Denver, formerly Miss Lonegsn of this city, was the guest of Mrs. W. R. Harding, 1913 Farnam street. H. A. Thompson of the firm of Thomp son & Belden left with his family for a visit at his old homo at Olrard, Pa. Tho serious Illness of Mrs. Charles 8. Klguttcr was giving the family and friends grave apprehensions. The city councllmcn held a star cham ber session at the city hall to decide upon an attorney to defend tho city In tho suit brought against It by Major Balaombp. Thoso present were Wheeler, Hascall, Haunciors, Steele, Parker and Back, it took Just thirty minutes to decide that the ono man for this Important work wa Judge Elcarcr Wakcley and Messrs. Baundcrs und Wheeler were authorized to employ him. inspector Holmes has resumed tho task of making dally Inspection of the milk sold by dairymen to the consumers. It was admitted that Mr. Holmes was a fairly busy man. News of tho death of Harrison J, nrowno nt North Manchester. Ind.. reached friends In Omaha, where Mr. Browne had beon an early settler. Asso. dated with Ed F. Schneider, ho helped issue tho first copy of the old Omaha Itepubllcan on May 8. 1868, Ten Yenra Aeo 'iho high school cadets returned from Missouri Valley, whero they completed the week of their annual encampment llay Bcholbpln, a bricklayer worklnc on tno rcdcrnl building, had his foot mashed whon a coping stone fell from a height upon It. The stone weighed 1,600 pounds and it wos first thought necessary to amputate tho foot, but later diagnosis en couraged tho hopo that this might not havo to be done. In attempting to save tho lives of u brood of her ducks, Mrs. J. P. Coats, ourieentn ana uurdotto streets, whllo driving the ducks off tho railroad track. wni herself struck by the engine, which pusscd over her leg below the knee. necessitating amputation. Mr. and Mrs. Coats had a small duck farm on the Belt Lino and It was a switch engine that ran over her. The city found Itself without a claim agent, tho eltv pnmmlf hnvim. v.nn. George C. Cockrell of the duties of that office. Tho council's action hod the f. feet, In fact, of abolishing tho office, though Mr, Cockrell said he thought It might recreate It. Borne seventy-flvo cigar store keepers were supporting the ordinance Introduced In the council by Dave O'Brien to regu late slot machines. So for ns known none of them or any member of tho council opposed It. The measure was drawn In such a way. It seems, as tn meet tho approval of the cigar men. People Talked About A music publisher, addressing the New York Stato Muslo Teachers' association, said the nation's annual muslo bill was nearly JfiOO.OOO.OOO, say a per capita of J6.0!. which Isn't so much. New Jersey fears the June frost hit Its cranberry crop below the belt. With Thanksgiving five months away, sug gestlons of a price boost will not scare the turkey trotters. A Mrs. Lambert of St. Louis cheerfully give up an elaborate homo and alimony of 11.000 a month to Wed the third Busch of the royal house of Anheuser. Merely dropping her name from a 'payroll and annexing an overflowing treasury. A waitress In one of New York's res taurants lures an average of 0 a week In tips by hor smiles, and rides to and from work In a limousine. "It la Just as easy to smile as It Is to look sore. " "She explained. "A grin brings a tip where a crouch choks one. Always tell your customer what Is good today. Stick to these rules and you'll soon find tips coming oftener and larger." Sara Bernhardt. In her last American tour, scooped In 176,XVU Now she Jnslsts that Amerloan strawberries should be drowned In wine Instead of being smoth ered with cream. Could Ingratitude mount to lolller heights? With a contract of W a month and a third Interest In the profits. Miss Grace Simpson, or Minneapolis, Minn., has been hired to mintage a large farm In Bethel. Minn. Miss Simpson Is to have personal supervision over the farm work. For the first time In the history of Somerset county. Pa., a will has been probated before the death of tho testator. The Instrument Is that of Israel Fullem. of Summit township. Fullem and his wife. Mrs. Fullem. Lydla Wright Fullem, made a Joint will Mrs. Fullem died sev eral days Ofo and the will has been probated. A very tender message, combining tribute and farewell, comes to The Bee with a memorial photograph of A. D. Brown of St. Louis, president of the Hamllton-nrown Shoe company, who died May 10 at the age of it Mr. Brown was the founder of the house and devoted forty-one years of his life to the upbuild ing of its business, making for It a rep utation for mercantile honor as extensive us the west. A. C. Brown succeeds his father to tho presidency ot Um oomsanr. III. After the Big Meet A night Ilnynl Welcome. West Point Republican. As a meeting It was absolutely one ofH the very best ever held, large In attend ance and strong In Interest and enthus iasm, with benefits clear and positive. Another thing much In evidence was Omaha's right royal welcome. It met you everywhere and danced close and free hearted attendance upon you at all hours. It was fresh and winning each morning and by night It had lost neither Its flavor nor quality, being In fact equivalent to an adoption. A Most IlellRhtfnl Host. Orand Island Free Press. Omaha proved to be a most delightful host and showed tho visitors a royal Omaha welcome. Fnmona ! Unnnttnou Vote. Falrbury News. Nebraska editors nro unanimous In the decision that Omaha Is famous as a con vention city. JVo Etinl na Kntertnlners. Cortland Sun. The Sun man and his wife went to Ne- braska's metropolis determined to par take of everything In the lino of enter tainment that come our way and before the program was half over went mm. polled to acknowledge that Omaha was prepared to hand out more than we could stand. As entertainers, the people of Omaha and South Omaha have no equal. They are tho last word In sociability, the big scream In extending hearty welcome to their guests, and live wires of the high est voltage In boosting for Omaha and Nebraska, Conitncmliililc Selfishness. Albion News. If the editors are not all puffed up with exaggerated (dens of their Importance It will be n6 fault of the residents of Omaha. Wo Imagine we hear some say "Omaha Is not spending time and money to entertain th&j editors of the state for nothing; they have a selfish end In view," This no doubt Is true to a certain extent. They appreciate tho fact that friendly feeling between their city and the people of the state Is necessary for tho best de velopment of their city. This Is true of overy town rolatlvo to-the patrons of the town. However, much of their efforts Is devoted to the promotion ond develop ment of the state nt large, as they well know that unless the whole state Is pros perous and progressive they cannot hope to grow and become a great business cen ter. It Is entirely legitimate for a man or a community to encourage and pro mote a friendly feeling with his prospec tive customers. That is tho spirit that makes a Wide awake, progressive town or city. In yenrs gone by there was a feel Ing of nnlmosity between Omaha and the State nt large. Who was responsible for this feeling matters not now, but the fact wns It existed, and It was detrimental to tho whole stato, and especially so to Omaha. Tho wlde-awako people of our metropolis resolved to change this state of affairs. They havo done so. They have done It by cultivating friendly re lations with overy organization that comes to their city. N)t only so, but thoy are working all tho time to secure the conventions and meetings for their city and when they get them to meet In Omaha. they mako their stay so pleasant that thoy will want to come again. Selfish? Yes, but a most commendable sclflshnpns It Is better expressed as loyalty to home Interests., Naturally, their home city stands first, and then their home state. followed by section and country. A wide awike, progressive city like Omaha Is worth much to the people of Nebraska. A Contlnnnim rtnnnil of Pleasnre, 4 Stromsburg Headlight. Omaha did Itself proud last week In honor of tho newspaper men and women of the state, nnd those who attended en Joyed a continual round of pleasure. It was one of the best meetings of the newspaper people and tho attendance Was the largest In the history of the as sociation, and everyone went home happy. Lavish In Its Kittertnlnment. Tekamah Journal. The Nebraska editors at Omaha, If anything, found Omaha too lavish In Its entertainment. They realize, however, that Omaha Is the metropolis of the state and the leading commercial city between Chicago and the great west. Really tho most of them are beginning to realize the worth of tho city to tho state at large. All Hall to Omnlin. Lyons Mirror. I Omaha entertained the editors In royal style more real royalty than waa ever enjoyed by tho kings of old. Omaha lias' Us sins, but they are overshadowed a thousand times by Us greatness, mag nificence, splendor and beauty In hun dreds of other ways. All hall to Omaha! Just a Cushioned Knock. Blair Pilot. We note that the matter of the service of wines at the luncheon given the mem bers of the Nebraska. Press auoclatlon by the South Omaha Stock Exchange has gotten Into the state papers through the Jealousy of a Lincoln paper. A dry Martini and a wet claret were served, but the noticeable thing about It was that mighty few of the glasses were touched by the newspaper men and women. The members of the exchange drank their own wines, but .not the newspaper folk, for they usually have need for their brains. The banquet was otherwise eo generous and so excellent, and evidently given with such good spirit, that we can easily forgive serving wines. whleh no one was under obligation to drink. The business men of South Omaha mean all right, they're a Jolly, generous lot and would find no fault with the guest who refused their- wines. Some day they'll learn to' suve their wine and serve only those who wish It, or not servo U at all. as the owners of tho three Omaha dallies did at their banquet at the Field club tho same evening. (atlliiK Unn Coming. Grand Island Independent. Walt for th gatlltuf-gun fusillade the Nebraska Press association will pull off In the fall, when every county In the state will have a special Industrial edi tion and the scheme ot co-operation with the Btate Association of Commercial Clubs U carried Into fulfilment It will be better than a 5,000 Appropriation for a welfare commission. It wilt be In a large degree a voluntary service by the newspapers and commercial clubs for the benefit ot every Nebraskan. Unless we aro overestimating the results, this effort ll going to make an additional state bureau unnecessary. If every citizen tn the state, with even the smallest amount of local and state pride tn hlra. will do bis part, even though It be a very small part. It will be one ot tho biggest adver tisements any state has ever beta given. oxl Klver Flood Control. OMAHA, June IS. To the Editor of The Bee: As a rule I have much respect for any opinion Senator Shumway of Scott's Bluff expresses on the general topic of Irrigation, for 1 know him to be well posted In such lore. , But In his letter to The Bee, published today, he makes the same mistake as did the bad man In Tennessee he Includes too much territory ih his statement that "there has naver'.been a bad flood on the Piatt) above the mojith of the Elkhorn, since the Palhflrtder -dam was built." Mr. Shumway will have some trouble In convincing thc people of Colfax, Platte, Dodgo and Saunders counties that the flood on the Plktte river In the spring of 1912 was not a "bad flood" and by no stretch of the Imagination could tho Pathfinder dam, hundreds of miles away, be held to have had any teffect on that flood. Tho Platte river Is not a, very good Illustration on which to support the case of the reservoir-control advocates. The North Platto flows tho greater part of Its length through Wyoming, under such condition that the moat available place for the construction of a dam for Irrigation purposes was found not a great distance from Its mouth; Its .vol ume 1b entirely dependent on the melting snows, and tho steadiness of Its f!6w Is determined by the fact that tfte snows In the mountains that feed It melt slowly. The snow that fell last October In the mountains In Routt county, Colorado, will be molting In August this year. The plains of Wyoming contribute very little to the flow of this stream, for the an nual rainfall of that section Is only about eight Inches, or about what fell In Omaha during the month of May this year. The South Platte, below Denver, Is a miserable trickle during tho greater part of the year, because all the water Is taken out for the uses of Denver, If a flood comes on the Platte river below North Platte, Neb., It is due to the Drecloltatlon over the Nebraska drainage area. As to the control of streams by reser volrs. It must be apparent to any that tho reservoirs must bo drained after each recurring excess of river flow, or the "cor.trol" will fall. A very little study of the subject will convince any thinking man that the floods of the Mississippi drainage area aro not duo to "melting snows In the mountains," but to the excess of pre cipitation over the great central valley 1 abate my support of the fundamentals of Irrigation and conservotion to no man, but 1 cannot convlnco myself that any good purpose will be served by ex pending enormous sums of money In tho pursuit of schemes that aro patently chimerical. OLD FOQY Tulkliiff Abont Robbery. OMAHA. June 16. To tho Editor of Tho Bee: It is a bad thing when the city, through any of Its departments, becomes a party to a deal that tends to flim-flam the people who pay the taxes. The people are entitled to a sauare deal, to 100 cents on every dollar of service rendered by those supposed to be their public servants. Therefore, what do you think of this kind of a transaction: The Water board has a man's meter read for fifteen days' ser. vice and finds he has used 25 cents worth of yrater. (Doubtless an error was made In the reading, but that is the amount charged, nevertheless.) New, when the man (both tax payer and freeholder) goes to the Water board's office to pay he Is told no bills will' be settled for less than B0 cents. Why? Because that Is the minimum rate arbitrarily fixed by R, Bcecher Water Board. "Then," declares the taxpayer, "why do you not wait until tho month Is up to read my meter and let me get the benefit of a month's use of water? Why do you send a man out to read my meter every fifteen days? Is it because you think you have a right to take the money that belongs to me out of my pocket and put It Into your cof fers?" Multiply my case by the number that may arise each fifteen days and see what the Water board is handing the people of this city. I think this water deal combines moro arrogance nnd arrant stupidity than any other experience this city, In my knowledge, ever hod with municipal government. ONB OF VICTIMS. Editorial Sif tings Washington Post: John Armitrotajr Chaloner offers a volume of poems m proof of his ablty to handlo a Jl.&0u,toO estate. It ought to convoy conclusive evidence that he needs the money. Indianapolis News: Figures have been Even to show that there ore 121,000 really rich persons In the United tSates, but Just watch the revision downward after the Incomu tax Kets to work! Baltimore American: There Is to be, acordlng to report, a clean sweep In the Weather department, with nearly forty heads already In the official basket. No wonder some frost has crept Into the atmosphere. Houstbn Post: The colonel himself Is too splendid a specimen of truth In carnate to Justify challenging his testi mony at Marquette, but we believe some of Ms witnesses can make an ordinary poker 11 look like an outburst of righte ousness. Uostoa Transcript; In the good old days the courtier who caused King Oeorge to lose $100,000 In Canadian Pa clfto would have been sent to the block, but. In these degenerate times his lit doubtless will bo spared in consideration of making up the deficit Springfield Republican; "An Iridescent dream" Chauncey Depow calls "this world peace Idea." and likens the one battleship man to "the old fellow sitting by the mlllpond fishing while the other fellow Is getting In his hay." Mr. Depcw's dreams of Imaglnery Invasions aro anything but Iridescent. Stories in Figures Russia leads tho world In the produc tion of flax fiber and Argentina tn the production of seed. What Is known as the polar regions cover 4,9n,3S square miles and have 900,004 Inhabitants. New Jersey's greatest alUtude Is 13,' S75 feet, whloh la a point two miles north ot Trucha's peak. Divorces annualjy average seventy three of each 100,000 of population In the United BUUa. in Austria Uu average U on. JOLLIES FROM JUDGE. . i What ever became of that woman who was married on a betf ' She Is now sivlnr her time to a cru sade against gambling." Imogene We weren't In the hall two minutes before he kissed me. Doris Yum! Was it an eventT Imogen My dear, he's an efficiency expert! He (of the Gay Way) And so 1'ou have been married seven times. Some excite ment, eh? She (of the Spotlight) Not especially. My act Is In a lion's cage, 'you know. Crawford How do vou know your daughter and her young man haven't made up their quarrel yet? -Mrs. crawrord Because the gas has been turned up high all the evening. Mrs. Gramercv You can't Judge a man by what he was before you married him. Mrs. Park Indeed you can't. My hus band used to spend the evenings with me. "Have you ever been best man at a wedding?" "One." "Did you enjoy It?" "Well. I wouldn't got up In the middle of tho night to repeat the perfor mance." Chicago Record-ulcrald. Has your daughter's second marriage turned out happily, Dobby?" queried Hawkins. . "Why yes, In a way." sam ijodds. Mabel sees how happy she was with her first husband." Judge. " "The horse and the cow Is In the ttMrt.' " rffnd the teacher. "Mary, what Is yrong with that sentence?" Mary was evidently more versed In There's Always anEastbouBdPeniisySvaiiia Train Ready in Chicago v Better morning connections for passen gers from the West and Northwest are formed by the Metropolitan Express now leaving Chicago 8:45 a. m. arriving Pittsburgh 8:45 p. m., New York 8:57 a. m., over Pennsylvania Lines They may also go East in the morning on the Seaboard Express leaving Chicago 10:05 a. m. daily with all-steel Sleeping Cars and all-steel Coaches, arriving New York 2:55 p.m., or on the Manhattan Limited leaving Chicago 10:30 a. m.-ra fully equipped Limited all Pullman train with barber, maid,, stenographer and other special features. '. Eleven Daily Trains 'Chicago to New York At Convenient Hours Use This Office Freely For Information Many tlmos In planning your vacatlontrlp ques tions will arise which you cannot answer readily. We aro equipped to give you the best of information Bervlco; we can tell you not only about tho fashion able resorts but nlso'about the quiet out-of-the-crowd places where you can get away from fashions and conventions. We can plan sight-seeing trips of great est Interest where scarcely a mile of your Journey-need bo repeated. Low round trip summer tourist fares to all Min nesota and Northern Wisconsin, resorts, Winnipeg, North Pacific Coast, Yellowstone and Glacier Park via St. Paul. Come In and talk it over, or ii you prefer drop mo a line or phone. i p. noxonnEN, c. p. & t. a., 1622 Foj-nnm Street, Omaha. Phone Douglas 200. DR. BRADBURY DENTIST IBdo Farnam Bt. Y2ii0m0 Vboa" I,ou Extracting ...... 25c Up gHHXSft Hissing Teetn supplied Fillings . BOc Up MESSipsSSSjSfc Kilbout Plates or Bridge IJrldgework . . tS.SO 1 p liJjPj Nerves removec- Crowna 2.BO I'p xTTVWh without pain. Work ar- rUU ........ S2.UOIP Protect Yourself Ask for ORIGINAL GENUINE lbs Food Drink the rui"s of politeness than in the rules of grammar, for she answered promptly; The lady should be mentioned first" Youths lompanlonj Balladlst-Don t you think If I'd out out one of my four songs It would Im prove my aet? . . Stage Manager Yes, about 15 per cent. -Life. TALE OF THE JOLLY MARINER Chicago News, He was a Jolly mariner That sailed the, seven eos; By skill and pluek and sheer good luoK He hod escaped disease, And death in strife by gun and knife And other things like these. Alas! This gallant sallorman Was knocked down by a carl "You'll soon be dead," the doctor said. "Perhaps there's ono afar . To whom you'd send some word, my friend." . . Up spake that gallant7 tar; "You take this message, mate," he said, ."Kro I my moorin's slips. And find my bride and say I died With her name on my Hps! Her name, you say? Well, ono Is May;, But I've sailed several trlpsl , "There's Sally Brown, .of Dover town, And Mllly, Jane nnd Nell; If you" will look In that there book You'll find out whero they dwell. k Thero Is a score, or maybe more You won't? Then I'll get welll" He was a Jolly mariner That roso up, strong and fit. And then, said he, "Well, hully gee! I'm bruised a llttlo bit; But I've my life and nary wife Is left a widow ylt'" (or odier Inlomitioa liirtji W.H. ROWLAND Traveling PMmcr Accat. 224-225 City National Baai) Btdc. Omaha, Nebraska f l J" nueedtenye for all Ajzi Dthexs are TmUariom