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TJIE BEE: OMAHA, TUESDAY, DECEMBER 2, 1913. THE OMAHA DAILY BEE! toCNPED nT EDWAHD ItOSKWATBR "vlCTOR TtOSEWATKn, BDlTOn. ZV.e. mTH.ntXQ. FANAM AKP ITTH Kntred at Omaha peitoffce aa second- tlsss matter. - TERMb OF SUBSCJUCTION. Sunday B. one ypar Daily Bee. without Sunday. ' Tally Dee. and Kundsv. on year.. The Ounce of Prevention. Nobody with a keen sense of ob servation can hate failed to learn that It la high time to put tho screws on tho wild men In motor cars. Tour lng cars, runabouts and trucks arn driven dangerously fast In violation of traffic rules, especially In tho busi ness parts of the city, where more accidents occur than In any other part. The stoop grades on some of our streets' require perfect control and watchful caro on tho part of motor- 1st. Turning tho corners at undue intttT . v?r,ri I annar! fa annthni fnnttirn nnri nnlnnni n Ik v j.-r avnrMi or ... i . . .. .. . . . , Vn'Twishtng company. i auiomooiies siop wnen uio street Only i-etnt -tamps received In Payment cara nre tan(jng atlH flnd the people of .mail account, r-r-onal checks. ept en Omaha ana eastern . ,,iimA wu uu u.u v"sio V?CptM. DEUVEREO nv CARRtKR. F.venlnr and Sunday R. rr nh..vw F.vn nr. without tunor. 1 ( Cally &. Including Sunday Pf 'S Dally I3e. without Bunday. Ir rnonth.jsc jLddr-a alt complalnta of irrfirularltlea In deliveries to City Circulation wpu lopkind )ackvar t TPX n Omaha toM-tu rao bee nut DECEMBER 2. Thirty Years Ago Another new addition haa been art del to Omaha. It la located near the fort nd Is called "Barkalow's subdivision." letters from Julius Meyer, who la now In Paris conducting: an exhibition of twenty Indiana, say he Is greatly enjoy- OFFICES. Omsha-The Bee building. South Omaha-OT8 N -tri. Council Bluff s-H North Main street. I,lecoln- IJttl b.,'LMln5c.lf,u New Tork-Room 1106, Fifth avenue. At. Imls-fflJ New Rank of Commerce nv..i?inrtn-t2R Fourteenth Pt . N. chickens. Many Incompetent and Ir responsible persons drive cars. Any person may borrow a car and drive it. Chauffeurs who realize that acci dents mean loss of employment aro more careful. When acoldents occur due to flagrant carelessness or reck lessness the drivers should be held to a full criminal responsibility. The motorcyclo also has too long had unlimited license for speeding. not to mention Its loud splutter and mat of Nebraska. County ;ot : Douglas, as. nerve-racking noise, which tho rider DWM wiinwi. cireuH r r.l,!ra hl nartlriilnr Sf Tne He I'UDiisnins V.iil cMonVoM t0.hri!,d ,B COm,DK- The sucni oicycio wun us messenger or delivery boy stealthily moves In and out, before and behind people, with a reckless indifference to safety. The Ing hi- stay. He la under contract to . rushed up to tho old man who was com have these Indians exhibited for the . forUbty reading In a big -armchair. French government ! 'oh. papa.' aha exclaimed, 'you should Tho School board la to be called upon . have been with me tonight! Wo aro pre- to -elect a successor to Prof. Hrunner of partner to sweep the country! tho North school, who Is aoon to enter ' 'Sweep the countryl' responded the old upon his duties as county superln- man; with ft pui-led expression. 'Who's Waihlnrton-tai Fourteenth CORRESPONDENCE. Communications relating to news and editorial matter should be. addressed Omaha Be. Editorial department OCTOBER CIRCUUATION. 51,725 . - a. si.?". nwlOHT WILMAMB. circulation Mananer. Fubacrlbed In my presence and jworri to beforo me this f Notary PubUc. SnbscHbrra learlnst th 'r trnromrilr iliosH kTf The Bee walled to them. Addresa Trill be cltanK'fl a reqneited. Bcoro one for the real estaters in their bout with the Water tjoardersi drivers of all motor vehicles should be Impressed with tho responsibility to avoid risks to people on foot, who also should exorclso proper caro In avoiding danger by concentrating their attention on their own move monts, and not attempt to cross in an absent-minded and preoccupied manner. Mutual recognition of mutual rights In the streets will help much. The speed limit is right It strictly en forcod, and tho problem of traffic The self-Interest of the lld-llftera regulations Is ono of tho greatest ought to be enough to hold them for confronting the city. a little while at least Constitutional Difficulties. If ono good term dosorves another, occupants of the minor state house 'positions cannot understand why they should not bo rlicht In lino to, Well, anyway, under all tho ruioa I climb on up into the governor's chair. tendent. A large cow elk Is being exhibited In the door of Millard & Peck's place. It as killed near Corad and weighed oyer 400 pounds. Madame Minnie Hawk and company camo up from St. Joseph. They go to Lincoln for a concert, returning for their performance hero Tuesday, The newest member of the Omaha Sportsmen's club Is a ten-pound boy, whoso name la Petty. The finder of a gold horse watch charm will bo rewarded by returning It to C. E. Mayne & Co., 1512 Farnam. Another cattle company has been In corporated undm the name of Boyd Bros.' Land and Uve Stock company by James E. Boyd. Samuel Boyd. John M. Boyd, Thomas F. Boyd and A. O. Buchanan. The Deluge Hose company, made up of oung men from the souin part oi Omaha, la planning for a New Year's ball at Crounse's hall. yhal can Senator-' Hitchcock be doing for iattonage now?-Boston Herald. Step robbing it In. Lincoln is deciding whother It pre fers home rule or contlnuanco as a satrapy of tho legislature. tf the game "Doc" Tanner ought to get something Just aa good. Even the Society for the Preven tion of Useless Giving draws no line Out there ia the constitution of tho stato presumably erecting a stono wall between them and tho covoted promotion, by making officors of tho executive department Ineligible "to Against useful gifts to thow who need I othor -Uta 0,co durnf thfJ them. With Dr. Wiley as health commis sioner of New York, 4b. o babies of Gotham ought to become eugenlcally perfect. Now the women call upon Presi dent Wllsen te champion their suf irage eaww. As It he aid not have trouble ettengfe. period for which they shall have been elected," On one sldo It haa been urged that this prohibition re lates only to an exchango of oftlccn and before the expiration of the term, and on the other court do clslons have held that ineligibility goes backsto the day of election, and ponlbly to the day of nomination. A novel proposition Is nbw ad' vaneed to the effect that an executive iBdla.Miu atftasnatera strike officer may get around the constltu .i. hada. A.ether eaae where ar resigning in uwe, ana dah can tender sympathy born et tRM terlng the race as a private aur .w. snsrlMC. I ciwatw. n. ti uo, iud., wai tuis version aisiona tne ungusa jan Ham we are crvlnr for mere shins, suae m Much aa the other, for tho while the Kavy iewtmMt at the I constitution does not, limit lneiigibii tame moment ys it has sot ma Hy to the term of office-holding, but nouyit for lt KMt fleet "during the period for which they shall have been elected." whether X California, paper speaks ot tho I -wise or unwise, this disqualification corafed turkey as aa Illusion ot tho seems to apply, Irrespective of re hour', llltiste maybe in California. signing or even of the assumption of but the real thing In Nebraska. the office. Strictly construed, It would bar a neraon who is elected Huert has Perf irlo Dlas'a name though he refuse to take oath of or hla Het et reserve generals, but office, and never performs any offl 14 our sylelos m will never get & chance to transfer It te the active list. Seamier Chaw War runs the risk 0 getting hisaaelf called a lot of trMueVS namee hy denandtng "JustW at this late date for Co- Haahia. clal duty. Our state constitution may be a back number and a tradl tion, but that la the way It reads. A Xayal Kollday. The very fact, as noted by Secre tary Dantela ia his first annual re port, that no single nation with large Tk.t nhic.tr-, ... whs la rte JBtereet can safely take a vacation to adopt Nttee children ot as ay building of battleships, Is the a-iUasllh-si .sr mm to amreclata BtreBg arsuitiBHi way nil w. iirot- .t... i.iiv .hV b.v.1 A elasa nations should heed Qreat Britain's proposal for a concerted narai aeiiuay ot one year, ju mutu Tl aaJUt Vtra' Lllatlvel no baltieshipa wouia ee duiu. me Macue BreMSM to auhntt two laltfe- United States can advocate this plan tivm cdABtltutiMal amendments In I with more zeal and emphasis, u i . the next Nebraska election. And seems to us, since It cornea from an still they come! You note, however, that It was Governor Glynn who made public the fact that Hennessy, Tammany'n con- querer, has been boemlrched with ucly Insinuations. other nation leading in the race for naval supremacy, than If It were pro posed by us. Tho United States in thlrteon years has doubled Its appropriation for bat tleshlpe. Ten years ago we paid $6,382,000 tor our largest war vessel end are now cettinr ready to eXDend . - - - - - - - About the oniy xoiKa wno gavei t14.044.000 for our next dread thanks (or Oorernor Cole Blease of naUght. And yet we have not kept guti Carolina on TnanKsgivmg aay pace wlth other nat,0I18 ln tho com wtr those convicts to whom he p,tftion for over-large navies. In opened the Vrtson doors. dee4i orae of our own dutens bit : ; ; terly complain that we have fallen .Z . , Only recall the clamor of protest arls- T"JL" I.", Jr. Z Z o the failure of congress last " . . year to t aaldo enough money for T Twice Told Tales Practical Pupil. Th topic under discussion at a recant smokefest was the practical side ot things. , "rtemlnda me." smilingly observed Con gressman Joseph A. Ooulder of New York, "of a certain suffragette, not one of the antique species, but a soft, tender little thing who has Just joined the jubilee and Is correspondingly enthusiastic "One evening she returned home and oeorge tarnam west 01 me nonn. western, and Mrs. West, went to Cedar rtaplds, Is., for a brief visit. Kclley, Stlger & Co. were advertising In The Bee ladles' fine cheviot Jackets with Itedfern collars, edged with wool seal, fur trimmings, full bock, largo sleeves, regular price $15, reduced to 3.S0, for one day only. Mrs. John Clark Jones gave a progressive high five party at her home for Miss Jonw. hor miest. with fifty women friends present The first prizes, pretty silver spoons, wro won by Mrs. Sloan, Mrs. Raymond and Mrs. Illcks; tho second prizes, quaint bisque figures, by Mrs. Pennock, Mrs, Johnson, Mrs. Co, and tho booby prizes, Mrs. Valll, Mrs. Alexander and Mrs. Cornish. A real estate advertisement In The Beo exploiting lots and houses m Ames Place, after running for considerable length, con cluded thus; "This the fellow that's glad he was born, that reads Tho Bee that comes eve and morn, that tells of the agent all shaven and shorn, that puts up the sign the lots to adorn, that sur round the lady with looks ot scorn, that licks the boy all tattered and torn, that worries the con, that runs the car, that gets the nickel, that rarrtes the man, that lives In the house In Ames "Place. Blchard Mullen ot the city clerk's of fice was again at his desk after many weeks' absence from Illness. William Schwarlck alp resumed. his duties, which were Interrupted by sickness. Ten Years Ag Judge uuy n. c. ueod of district court was 'engaged- In. hearing a'sutt wherein th plaintiff asked )20,C00 of the defendant, a South Omaha saloonkeeper, for drilling a hole in his cranium. Lieutenant William Burmester, the sec ond victim of tho Allen Bros, tire, was laid at rest In Prospect Hill cemetery, with services conducted at thn home, 2016 California street, by Rev. T. J, Mackay. Tho Willow Springs Brewing company tcok out a permit for the erection ot a six-story structure at Third and Hickory streets, costing KO.CO). John Llnd died at the nge of 41. Ar rangementa were mado to hold the fu neral services nt the home of William Holm, IKS) North Twenty-second street and burial at Forest Lawn. Joseph W. Woodrough and Mrs. Ella B. Beckett were married by tho Rev, Hubert C. Herring at tho home of Mrs. Bonner, 2324 Caldwell street, where Mrs Beckett had rssldsd. They loft In the evening for Florida on a honeymoon trip, The wedding was the culmination ot little romance. Mr. Woodrough was the tu phew of Mr. Beckett, whom tragic death had occurred th4 previous winter, ha being frosen to death near Benson. Mr. Woodrough on coming to Omaha sometime before found employment In the office of his uncle, who Waa In law pattnershlp with Guy R. C. Read and later, when dlstresa came to the "Beckett family, young Woodrough waa of as slstance to both his uncle and Mrs. Beckett. preparing to sweep the country?' " 'Why, we suffragettes, of course,' came the proud rejoinder of the pretty one. " 'Oh, I see, was the cold, hard reply of practical papa. 'It Is a commendable Impulse. You might begin with the din ing room and parlor.' "Philadelphia Bul letin. The Inspired Clerk. "I think," said the clerk, "these are Just the shoes for you." 1 "How much are they?" she asked. "Eleven dollars." , "Oh!" she gasped. "I hadn't thought of paying any such price." "These are specially made. YoU won't find anything like them for the price any where else." "But 1 hadn't thought ot paying over V or IS." "I can give you something cheaper, If you wish. I see this shoe wrinkles over tho toe. It Is too big for you. These shoes are msde In such a way that It Is always necessary to take a size smaller than you are used to, if you want a per fect fit. Let me try this one. It Is the next size under the one you have on, Therel That fits you perfectly." "But I don't feel as If I ought to pay 111 for a pair of shoes." "I can give you a very nice pair for W. Let me see? This site Is 3H. I'll seo If we have a pair of 4s of the M Kind." "Oh, never mind. I think I'll take these. They reel so comfortable." Smllr for Old Bit. Arinur T. Hartley, president of Yale. anio 01 youtn at h tea In New Haven: 1 una you modest, almost over-modest I don't agree with the accepted Idea of youtn that Is epitomized In the anecdote. According to this anecdote, an old man nam 10 a youth: "'My boy, when I was your aire. thought, like you. that I knew It all, but now 1 have reached the conclusion that 1 Know nothing.' Ilml I reached that conclusion about you years ago." Boston Transcript Askrd Too Mueh. "Young man." said the fond father, "in Riving you my daughter I have entrusted you with the dearest treasure of my life." ine young man was duly lmrressed Then, during the-few moments of lm presslvo silence that followed, ho heard tho .patter of rain against the window pane. uracious mel" he exclaimed. raining,' and" I haven't my umbrella. May 1 Dorrow yours to get to tho station?" ' loung man," said tho fond parent "I wouldn't trust anybody on earth with my umbrellas-Pittsburgh Chronlcle-Tet egraph. People and Events our usual quota of two battleships. Jteoort haa it that one. Oeorae W. aeea, we nope is ior aQ eventual Ere. wants to head the democratic permanent naval holiday to relieve ticket ia Nebraska again for gov ernor. When the bug once gets a person there Is no shaking It off. the world of the burden ot taxation for maintaining munitions of war while declaiming softly for world peace "Our Indian summer has practl esjly lasted a week," observes The question haa been raised In ta Boats Transcript, And ours connection with Congressman - Dan tfcramgh the whole fall. Moral; Stephens' expenditure ot money in pW IbsUm summers coma to Ne- excess ot the limit allowed by law In piosecuting his re-election campaign I at this early 6tage. Oh, that doesn't Fraaclaco planned a municipal I count! The check book congressman hHW costing 11,000,000 and will not begin to keep books until j Walter Watanabea, a Japaneae, la th only man elected this year to member ship in the Stanford university chapter ot Phi Beta Kappa, the national honor scholarship society. Seven girls were elected. The whole St. Gaudens family stem ti have been talented In sculpture woik. Miss A,nnette St. Oaudtns, daughter of the late Augustus 8L Gaudens, having collection of sculptures now on exhibition In New York Miss Mae Horner of Annvllle. Pa., graduate of the 1910 class ot Lebanon Va'ley college, and who has been tor the last three years Instructor In the Nor rtstown High school, has volunteered as a missionary and Is going to Africa. She will teach In the girls' school at M vambo. West Africa. If Floyd II. Scott of Battle Creek will get married within the next three years ho pan have aa hla reward a check for 110,000, or the cash It he prefers It, from a wtaiiny eastern relative. The news was broken to him In a letter on his Kth birthday, with the additional en couragement of a check for 00. Two students in the Georgia school of technology, having exchanged, unmanly epithets, with the approval of members of the faculty, settled their, difference by a fist fight In regulation pugilist style, fellow students forming the ring. When the argument ended the mugs of both could hardly he recognized by their mothers. But "the honor ot the school" was vindicated. A New York uoman, defendant in a divorce action. Is pictured by witnesses as a booze fighter ot much prowess. On one occasion, at a bridge party, she Is 'said to have absorbed one whisky, three Abont Telephone Bills. SOUTH OMAHA, Dec. t-To the Editor of The Bee: I cut this Item from The Bee of a few daya ago and want to apply it to the telephone company: Better than threats to turn off the water If the bill Is not paid, would be thn con ditioning of the discount on prompt set tlement. I was roughly estimating the number of subscribers that company has In this vicinity and find that there are an aver ago of about 15 subscribers to the page of the last telephone book Issued. That would make Just about 4,375 subscribers In 8outh Omaha, about 8,625 for Council Bluffs and about 23,623 In the city of Omaha. That would make about 34.K2", subscribers ln the three cities. Estimat ing them at only 31,000, and counting an average of per month paid by each subscriber, which I expect Is a very low estimate, it makes an average of over 100,COO that the company takes In from the people of the three cities named each month of the year, or a total of a good deal over tl.000.rj00 -paid to that company In course of a year. Talk about gold mines. The stockholders of the Nebraska Telephone company have It and we com mon people are paying them their big dividends. It is about time that we would elect somo men to the Nebraska legislature who would, not only Introduce bills to cut down telephone rates, but would stay by their bills until passed Instead of let ting them die on their hands, aa has been done In the last four or five legls latures. The telephone company has things all )ts own way and Is very exact Ing In sll of Ita dealings, and If people get a few days past the first of the month they get notices that their phones win be taken out If not paid for within twenty-four or forty-eight hours of the time the notices are Issued. I want to ask why the Nebraska Telephone com pany has a right to make Its subscribers pay in advance, when the electric light company, the gas company and the water company do not ask pay until the serv. Ices hava been rendered. It seems to me that the telephone company should be compelled to wslt for Its bills until the service has been rendered, the same as the other public service corporations. Then the rates should be cut squarely In two, for they would then have a fat thing of It. If there was ever an octopus that at times we hear of, it la the Ne- nrasKa Telephone company. That com pany Is enriching itself on tho people simply because the legislature falls to do Its duty by the people that elect the members of that body. I am no socialist or anything of tha aina. Dtit 1 ao think the telephone com pany Is making too much .money out of tne people of the three, cities in this vlcln y T. A. AONEW. Editorial Snapshots Washington Post: If Yon Llnd isn't telling the administration any more than It Is volubly confiding to the public congress ought to hold up his salary. Indianapolis News; Nor should there be any Intervention or evai any recount tlon of belligerency In the war between the cabinet, ladles and the wives of mem bers of congress. There's no telling what awful results such mixing In would cause. Springfield Republican: Our modern paradise of Industrialism Is revealed ln the fact that a single trade union of U0 men In New York has the power to throw 160.000 garment workers Into Idleness at the beginning of winter by persisting in a strike. St. Louis Qlobe-Oemocrat: Between th ultimatums presented by President Wll son. Secretary Bryan, Special Envoy Und. General Agent Hale and Charge d Affaires O'Bhaughnessy, the heads of me Mexican government will be puzzled to choose discreetly. Boston Transcript: If congress tries "mileage grab" It won't be the first time It has sought to put a little unearned Increment In Ita pocket by a "construe Uve recess" rose, but It will be recalled that the last time this kind of frenzied financing was tried It failed. Philadelphia Ledger: Mexico should be one of the richest and most contented of all the nations of the earth. It haa the resources to make a rich population ot 100.000.00 people. It Is discouraging to see It waste Its birthright and turn back the hands of tha clock of progress. Baltimore American: Miss Sylvia Pank hurst says that a volunteer army Is to be raised for tha suffragette cause In Lon don. Sir Francis Vane, a British officer of Boer war fame, she announces Is to b the commander. But why, with all the militancy running to waate In their own ranks, select a mere man to do the real fighting? Here and There m-" ""' I !, 1,,.!.. I .l IOUIP tM 4MCBWN asset the ordlnanoe, but letter ho files formally as a candidate, 'some more beer, between 8 o'clock in tho! of Nebraska for the vears isio. 1911, m Mohammedans and Brahmans of India drink no alcoholic IIquots and In conse quence the consumption ot aerated waters there Is becoming enormous. Last year l,t3T seamen and K3 passen gera on British vessels lost their lives at sea. This total, the largest since 1894, Includes the CTS seamen and S2S paxsan geis who perished in the Titanic. Uncle Sam Is now selling twenty-four twos and twenty-four onea for 7J cents. but the professional bargain hunter will refuse to become excited until he begins giving three dimes for a quarter. Tins fashioned almost exactly like those of the sort known today aa "safety pine" have been found In Etruscan and Roman tombs, and th date or these has. In some Instances, been assigned to a period prior to tha i:nrutl era. Since, mining began ln Alaska the gold output totals US4.SQ0.s7S. The wheat crop ' vetoed it. There Is where i and what money he pays out In ad Cwefcssstni Leader Schmltx would vance of that will be excluded from 4mM Jjsi M4y M sMyor. the account. evening and midnight It may be in. fmed from the quoted word of the tally j sheet that the tallying party was put to I sleep before the contest ended. and 1013 brought l5,?e.ns. Digging for gold Is Interesting, occasionally profit able as a gamble Plowing and sowing wheat is a sure thing. Smith college girls are said to have adopted the monocle fad and wear the Klass attached to a strip of ribbon as heavy as a "dog leash." Miss Elizabeth Burchenal and her sis ter, Emma, formerly of Richmond, Ind have made quite a reputation ln the east as teachers of folk dancing. Texas now has a new law for wives that makes desertion on the part of the husbands a very serious offense, but It does not say anything about the wives who desert their husbands. Women under 21 s-ears of see In Phil adelphia may not work after 9 o'clock at night. This cuts out the chorus girls and ballet dancers, or restricts them to women over that age. Mrs. Sarah H. Sorln of Arizona ap peared aa the sole representative of a big mining corporation In the supreme court of the United States last week. This Is said to have been one of the very few occasions upon which women have practiced In this court, and then only aa associate counsel. Many Cleveland housewives are send ing to the head of the refrigerating firm In that city fruit and other things that they wish to keep a long time. A bas ket ot apples that costs $1.25 may be kept Activities of Women J rost of my Hfe halng joii held up to mi ! as a shining example'" Woshlngton 1 Star. "They aro always talkln about tho wonders of lrrHrllv." mM TTrmr Corntosscl. "but there's one f Its great est nchlevemonts they don't mention,'" "To what do you refer?" "The way It has killed off the tellers who made jokes about people who went 'i to town an' blow out the gas." Wsshlng- ' ton Star. , "Here, here, what's all the row about? Another fellow kicking about paying his Income tax?" "No, he paid that cheerfully. Says ' it's no more than right" "Then what's nil the fuss about?" "He flatly refuses to pay his dog tsx. He's whipped two policemen arguing that atlurnwl fool law like that ought to be repealed." St. Louis Republic. "So you think that It takes only one person to make trouble?" "Certalnlv. It Is only necessary that some one person shall acquiesce In the dnslre of another for a quarrel." Buffalo Express. Homclj Patient-My face pains me, doc tor. What shall I do? Doctor I'm sure I don't know. You might try a beauty specialist Boston Transcript. IN THE MARKETPLACE. Georgo Sterling In Smart Set In Babylon, high Babylon, VVhat gear Is bought and sold? All merchandise beneath the sun That bartered Is for gold: -Amber and oils from far beyond as the owner wishes. If the fruit comes In boxes rather than baskets It will cost but 5 cents a month after the first month. Many sent berries which they preferred to have fresh rather than canned. A quarter of beof may bo bought and kept ln the meat room. The object of the offer Is to teach housewives tho value of cold storage. m. , . . . at the plant for 10 cents a month as long And"VneI w&rouhroats are fond. iea: aa the souls of menl , In Babylon, gray Babylon. What goods are Bold and boughtT Vesture of llnon subtly spun. ' And cups from agate wrought: Raiment of many-colored silk For some fair denizen. And ivory more white than milk lea! and the souls of ment In Babylon, old Babylon. What cargoes on the plersf Pearls from a tepid ocean won. And gems that are as tears; Arrows and Javelins that prevail Against the lion's den. And brawn chariots and mall Yea! and the souls ot menl In Babylon, mad Babylon, What get you for your pence? A moiety of cinnamon. Of flour and frankincense; But let the shekels in your keep Be multiplied by ten. And you will purchase slaves and sheep Ycal and the souls of ment In Babylon, dark Babylon, What chattels shall Invite? A wife when as your youth Is done. or lemon ror a nignt. LINES TO A SMILE. "Did you sec where some man they put In prison went on a hunger strike and they put a' kettle of beer In his cell ror mm to take up? ' "vnat nappeneU7" "He put It down." Baltimore American. "Unfortunately. Mike, who Is very hot- tempered, undertook to smooth out the difficulty." "Didn't he succeed?" "In a way. He manirled the other fpl- low, and got Ironed himself by the po lice." Baltimore American. "What la your objections to me as son-in-lawT proach." "That's Just It." said Mr. Olanort. "You Thn shadows come, tha shadows ro don't suppose I want to go through the Yeat and the souls of menl My character Is beyond rs- Brforo Astarto'a Dortlco xnc torcnes nore again; Wooster on Wife Whipping. OMAHA, Dec. l.-To the Editor of The Bee: A man ln Pennsylvania, perhaps a drunkard. Is accused by his wife of hav ing whipped her once a week for forty yrars. Mr. Wooster, to the surprise ot one who likes reason and proof, assumes that this man and his wife are Christians. by which he may mean that they are pro- res&mg Christians, and covertly Intimates that such conduct is what might bo ex pected ot such, for, he says, that, as he l.i not a Christian, therefore he does not whip his wife. For gratuitous foolishness, I never saw such assumptions surpassed. The last man. that I have known to be a, wife beater was as blatant an Infidel as I ever esw, and I have seen a few others, but never one that had any claim to Chris tianity. Mr. Woostsr may some time have seen a brutal man who believed in Christianity, hence wlfe-beaters are Christians, and Christians wife-beaters. Like the man who had Just arrived at a Paris hotel where there was a drunken landlord and a woman with red hair, who at once wrote home: "All the men In Paris are drunkards, and all the women have red hair," Now, as to Adam's rule over his wife. giving him the right to thrash her If he deemed It proper, yet It seems they got along many years together In the mar rlage state, perhaps nearly of all of the KO years ot Adam's life which Is some what longer than the married life of the modern fly-awaya. Now, the word "rule" may have a benevolent Import. It Adam had been out In the garden with Eve when she met the devil, I presume he would have convinced Jier of the folly cf trying to get wise by eating an apple. for he was not deceived. A young man wrote Mark Twain asking many questions about eating fish to help his brain, and closed his long letter by asking how much he thought he should eat. Twain wrote htm that Judging from his latter he thought he should eat a whale. Be fore writing his letter to The Bee, per ils ps Mr, Wooster tried the experiment of eating fish, and overdid the matter and ate a whale, when possibly he had bet ter try a weak diet of herbs. X. V. PRESTON. Odd Bits of Life Clara Styles, 9 years old, recently won' the prize In a spelling bea held In Mor ton Grove, 111. There were eighty-one contestants, most ot whom were older than she. When Justice of the Peace Kerrlck married two gipsies in Paris, 111., re cently he wsa offered a copper wrash boller aa a wedding fee. He refused It on the ground that th bride might ned It. A St Louts woman wants a divorce because her husband published a prema ture announcement of her death. Couldn't he tile a cross petition charging extreme cruelty, In that she pretended to- die and then didn't make good? John Walksr, a farmer near Plalnfleld, Conn., shot a hawk recently after hts cat had caught it and enjoyed a short ride through the air. The cat leapd onto the hawk and being too heavy for It. brought It to the ground after a short fight. Let newlyweds ponder this agreement, entered into by a Los Angeles couple. The man Is to help wash dishes. buUd fires, start breakfast, kiss his wit goodbye, help with the dinner dishes and take her to the theater often. The woman Is to cook meals, put up lunch and not talk back. Manvfll A. Martin of North Newport. Me., has a sword cane that waa owned In 1515 by Father Dupe, who translated the Greek Bible ln French. The blade ot the sword Is covered with quaint and curious engravings. The sheath is made of red cedar, but which some time has been stained a darker color. THE NEW WAY Help Your Bookkeeper to Help You Help him to give you more efficient service, You wouldn't want your stenographer to transcribe your letters with a pen. It wouldn't pay you. Why, then, expect your book keeper to work with tools that are antiquated ? The R e m i n g t o n Adding and Subtracting Typewriter (Wohl Adding Mechanism) has opened the door of every accounting department to the writirie machine. This machine, which writes and adds (or subtracts) in one operation, is the last word in typewriter efficiency. You know how the typewriter saves time and labor in correspond ence. In billine and statement work the Addine and Subtracting Typewriter does the same and more It stops errors, prevents errors; it gives you machine accuracy in place of brain fallibtlty. The prevention of Ion through errors alone makes this machine worth mere than its cost to you. And the time and labor living are dean gain. Our Muttrattd hUit. "Th Niw Herniation Idea, " itnte rttuttf, teill ttlljeu ell about It. Remington Typewriter Company (Iscorporsttd) ISth and Douglas Ets. Omaha, Nib, TsL Douglas 1M4 Guarantee Fund Life Association OMAHA, KEHRASICA. Organized January 2, 1002. Assets, Oct. 1, 1913 $1,212,304.70 Reserve Fund, Oct. 1, 1913 985,293.54 First Mortgage Farm Loans, Oct. 1 583,337.50 Entire Assets Are Pledged to Secure Policyholders. Policies provide death, dlsabllllty and old ago benefits, and are incontestable after two years from their date. Unselfish men desire llfo insurance for protection for the family. That is the only kind of a policy we issue. ' Men only, 21 to 50 years, are eligible. Since most men desire life Insurance mainly for protection, why not buy a policy that will best serve your needs? Rate per $1,000 Insurance, age 35 years, $13.30. 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