Omaha daily bee., February 10, 1914, Page 6, Image 6

About Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922

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6
TflE BEE: OMAHA, TUESDAY. FEBRUARY 10, 1914.
THE OMAHA DAILY BEE
OtVNlKD I1T BP WARD ItOBBWATKIU
V1CTOU HOSKWATKIt. rjp'TOlt
II KB DUlbDIKU, FAKXAM AND 1ITH,
Kntered at Omaha potofrice as seeond
flAM matter.
TKtlMti OF 8UUSCIUITION&
euntny 1W, ono year W
Haturday iir-f. one year J--'
Dally Hce, without Sunday, one year.. .w
Dallr Hec and Sunday, one year 6.00
UEI.IVHHED IJV CAIUUBH.
Krenlnc and Sunday He, per month. .40o
Kveninic. without Sunoay. per month.
Dally Uee, Including Sunday, per mo..tjo
Dally He, without Sunday, per month.fca
Address nil complaints of Irregularities
In deliveries to City Circulation Dept.
REMITTANCE.
Remit by draft, oxpress or postal order,
payable to The Ree Publishing company.
Only .-cent stamps received in payment
of amal! account. Personal checks, ex
cept on Omaha and eastern exohancea,
not accepted.
OFFICES.
Omaha The Bee BuildliiK
fomt Omaha-2Jl N Ftreet
Council Bluffa-H North Main Street
Uncoln-K Utile Iluildinir.
Chicaao (01 Hearst Building.
Now York-Room ll. W Fifth Avenue,
St. Louis SO New Bank of Commerce.
Wishlnicton-.r. Fourteenth 8t. N. W.
fTORREHPONDENCE.
Cor.imunlraliona relating; to new s and
editorial matter should be addressed
UrnalT. nee. Editorial Department.
JANCAIIV CIRCULATION,
50,542
State of Nebraska, County or Douglas, si.:
UwiKht William, circulation manager
of Tne Reo Iubllshlng company, being
duly sworn, says that the average dally
circulation for the month of January,
MM. was J0.5I1
DWIOUT WILLIAMS.
Circulation Manager.
Subscribed In my presence and sworn to
before, me this 3d day of February. 1)14.
l'.UUCIlT HU.NTK11,
(Seal)
Notary Public.
Subscribers learlnR the city tem
porarily akoatd htr The Re
mailed to Oiern. Address will be
chanced often a requested.
Who else) wants to bo governor?
Lists will not close for some weeks.
No nmn was ever saved from
drowning except in tho "nick of
time,"
Safety first doesn't npucar to
stand very high in Colorado coal
mines.
Huerta may not bo much for civil
service, but he is strong for tho
criminal.
"Tho world Is getting better,'
says Champ Clark. Despite tho In-
tcrlopcrs.
Would you call tho editor of the
official organ of feminism ef
lentlaate?
But if we should ever get a "bad'
man for election commissioner,
what then?
New that we have had a taste of
winter, we probably wish to pass it
up for ft 'bit of spring.
Kven though Haiti Is virtually
wtkt & government, It has very
little the better f Mexico.
"Nothing has happened to change
my mind," Huerta is quoted as say
ing. Still happy In the wino cellar,
Even tho artists, aro exploited, ac
cording to Outzon Borgltrni, who
ought to know. Why don't tbey or
ganlzo?
"1 now havo 180,000 men In the
field," shouts Huerta. There is rca.
son to uiink some or .tnem aro
"etldiertng.,,
The income tax collector's bookii
suggest the old hymn to many a man
on the anxious seat, "Is My Name
Wrlttem Tlwre?"
.Commissioner ot Education Clax
tofl, who wishes to abolish school
vacations, will not go down la hU
tofry as th$ "boy favorite."
Omaha's water controversy didn't
reach the stage that has been at
tained In Denver, where adversaries
are taking ot shots nt one another.
The railroad tunnet slaughter, in
Tlvlng several Americana as well
as Mexicans, is enough to try the
patience, even of a "watchful wait
ing" people.
The senate has reached the sage
conclusion that the Unitod States
cannot go to war without guns and
powder; but, what has become ot the
dove of peace?
"It's an ill wind that blows no
b&dy good" means something when
the cold blast eends hundreds ot
otherwise unemployed men to the
Ice harvests at fair wages.
The federal weather bureau .hast,
ens to send out notice that the back
bono of winter Is not yet, broken,
evidently fearing we might don our
bathing suits prematurely.
The preacher who put out the tiro
at bis house before going to his
Sunday morning service must havo
felt tike discoursing on the old
fashioned brimstono lake theme.
Kurythnuc Dance Grips SocUty.
Headline.
Jpst as any frea'K hap does,
despite the fact that society has not
even a vague Idea that the name
means anything.
Goethals has suspended the man
against whom Metcalfe made
-harges, and to defend whom a largo
number of eastera papers undertook
lo float strife between tho mea in
charge ef the canal work and the
clvjl geveramtnt down there. H
begins to look as it Metcalfe's advent
ostb wwt timely.
Farm and Contract Labor.
The city man may under tho
alien-contract clause of our immi
gration law, Import butlers, domes
tics and other such employes from
foreign countries, while the farmer
Is not permitted even to hire men
to till his soli or harvest his crops.
Here Is a concrete caso, cited by
Congressman Young of North Da
kota, illustrating tho Inconsistency
and injustice of the law. A North
Dakota farmer, needing help to save
his crops, drove to the nearest town
and hired flvo men. It happened
that this town was just across tho
Canadian line. A diligent American
Immigration officer arrested tho
farmer and the five men, who wero
Austrians, ordering the latter de
ported, not to Canada, but to their
native country. The Judge before
whom tho caso catno for trial, hav
ing fully as much regard for com
mon senso and Justice as for the
prodigious technique of the law, Im
posed only a nominal fine on tho
farmer and released his five men.
But the Immigration otflcor was ob
durate, filing a civil action against
tho farmer of $1,000 for onch Aus
trian, totaling $5,000, and if that
action, which is still pending, termi
nates adversely to tho farmer, ac
cording to Congressman Young, It
will ruin him.
Congressman Young, therefoc,
demands such amendment of tho law
as will give the farmer equal rights
with others and Chairman Under
wood favors It. Surely anyone will,
who stops to consider its sonsoless
Imposition, especially in view of thu
fact that only two of every 100 1m
migrants go to the farmers, who aro.
more than ever under the now tariff.
thrown Into sharp competition for
labor as well ns all they produce,
with Canadlnn and other, farmerr.
Moreover, if more immigrants camo
to our shores with definite employ
ment in viow, it rolghj. help to avoid
some of the unwholcsomo cong6s
tlon In large custom cities, now. a
grievous problem.
Sound and Just.
. Travel by sea will bo made safer
by reason of tho Judgment pro
nounced against the Whlto Star line,
that It is not exempt from its re
sponsibilities because of tho notice
printed on the back of its tickets. At
tho same time, tho presiding Judge
ot tho English court gave it as hiu
opinion that tho danger to the Ti
tanic "was neither Unforeseen nor
unforeseeable, and that practice did
not justify a vessel In maintaining
its course aud speed when the warn
ings of danger ahead wero such as
the T,ltanc recolvod." This will do
mora than many joint commissions
to secure safer conditions ot travffl,
for it will touch the big ocean trans
portation' companies in their1 mo'st
sensitive spot;
General Wood's Bugle Blast.
In plain English, General Wood's
admonition to officers on the treat
ment of privates means that young
sters in shoulder straps must not got
so far lost In the senao of their own
importance that they cannot remem
ber that it takes privates to make
an army. As the old saying is, "no
general over won a battle." All tho
officers do not naed the advice, but
for those who do It Is mighty wise
and timely counsel.
The War department has long ago
found it a task to recruit nnd hold
desirable soldiers. Conditions are
none too inviting at best. If wo are
going to have an army a all, wo
cannot afford to let snobbery or stu
pid egotism beep good young men
out of It. Thore Is always this dif
ficulty In a life so rigidly disci
pllnary as that of tho army, that it
takes men ot a high order to know
how far to go with their authority
over others without going too far,
how to use , it without abusing It.
But It Is extremely important that
the lino ot demarcation bo' fixed tu
the mind ot everyone.
0a Pl&tferms.
We favor the exemption from toll of
American ships engaged, lu coastwise
trade passing through the canal. Demo
cratlo Platform ot Jlt
Yet President Wilson urges con
gress to levy tolls on our ships tht
same as on all others. How does ho
Justify It? Tolls Is not In tho plat
form, exemption Is. lie declined to
recommend a co.mmltteo on euffrago,
putting the women off with the ex
cuse that the platform did not advo
cate it, and that he was powerless
to urge anything on congress not
specified in the platform; Truly,
tho president's position is a delicate
one. Of course, his friends are ad
vancing various excuses and explanb
Hons to show that this plank was
"put over" on the resolutions com
mittee and against the majority will
and all that. But wth n peerless
general and master strategist ot tho
W. J. Bryan type in charge or the
platform making, that explanation
does not explain. Air. Wilson, to bo
sure, said at the time that he had
pot read the platform on which ho
was nominated, but even that will
not do now.
There Is only one way out ot It,
so far ak we see, and that Is to play
tho omission of a toll plank over
against the mention of an exemp
tion plank and let one balance thu
other on Mr. Bryan's theory that "a
platform la binding for what it
omits as well as for what It con
tains." But what are platforms between
democrats anyway, so long as the
pie holds out?
fep 5ackvvari
t jhsj)ay in Omaha
commits rsciM an nui
FKnill'ARY
10.
Thirty Years Ago
At high mass in HI. Phllomena's ca
thedral today Ulshop O'Connor laid down
the law against mixed marriages between
Catholics and non-Catholics, lie an
nounced that no Catholic need apply to
htm hereafter for a dispensation to marry
outside tho church.
Pi. .T. T. Armstrong, oculist, burned out
In Brown's building, has reopened In
Room 6. Crelghton block. Fifteenth and
Douglas.
North Omaha property owners are cir
culating a petition addressed to the senate
and house of representatives asking con
gresr to appropriate the necessary money
to pave tho military road connecting
Fort Omaha with the paved streets of
the city.
Ocorgo Dickinson's wife and children
havo gono to Klkhorn, Wis.
The "Two Orphans' was the play pre
sented at the Stadt theater, the principal
parts being taken by Sirs. Kraft-Fry nnd
Mr. E. Raurels.
IaiuIs Bradford of this city Is to bo
married next Wednesday to Miss Ida
l'ugh at fprlngfleld. O.
Omaha theater-goers are looking for
ward to tl)e approaching engagement of
Clara Morris lor two performances at
Boyd's.
Frank R. Morrlssy, managing editor ot
the fit. Paul Dispatch, is visiting In
Omaha.
Twenty Yearn Ago
Another man lay helplessly sick at
Rescuo hall, whither he was taken whan
no longer ablo to work. Ho drifted Into
tho city, an many others were doing,
aimlessly and without means, found em
ployment and followed it until he gave
down ns a result of his former weakened
condition, contracted pneumonia and lay
at death's door. Rev. A. W. Clark and
his helpers at tho hall wero having their
hands full. Measles broke out at the
hall and served 4o complicate matters,
Abraham Qottllob, one of the famous
civil engineers of tho west, was reported
dead in Chicago. He died on the steps
of tho Rookery before aid came. Mr,
Gottlieb was remembered as the engineer
who built the first bridge over the Mis
sourl at Omaha, tho Burlington & Mis
sourl bridge at Plattsmouth, tho North
western bridge at Blair and hundreds of
otneri, In this section.
Tho Sons of Omaha elected these off.
cer for the years President. C. D
fitltphen; vice president, Victor II. Cald
weltf secretary, C. T. Kouutze: treasurer.
Curtlis Turner; librarian. Luther Kuhns;
memiers or tne executlvo committee, W,
O. Don,! and Frank Hamilton.
AiulrtW Fisher, a ITnlon Pacific brake
man, was found lying bcsldo the tracks
noany froxen to death. He was helped
io ins nome, 5M Pierce street, ailU re
vlvcn.
Ten Years Ago-
Ueorgo D. Folmer. commissioner of pub
llo lands and buildings, and his deputy,
II, M, Eaton, were in the, city on busi
ness. 'Mr. 'Eaton 'admitted he would 'be
a candldato on tho republican ticket to
succeed Mr. Folmer at tho next election.
The, homo of Mr. and Mrs. P. 13. Her
was the sceUa ot a pretty marriage, Join
ing together John 8. AVeltxel of the Illi
nois Central and their daughter, Miss
Mny, Charley Lane ot the Union Pacific
acted as best Inan and Miss Bess Her,
sister of the bride, as maid of honor,
with Miss Oertrudo WelUel. and Miss
Mabel Byrne as attendants at the altar.
Rov, Phillip Davidson officiated.
General J, II. Culver, adjutant general
ot tljo state, wns In town.
Georea A. Hoagland announced he
would build u large business block on
the northwest corner of Sixteenth and
Howard streets, tho site of his residence,
and that Thompson. Belden & Co. would
lease It. Thompson, Belden & Co. were
forced to leave their old quarters at Six
teenth and Douglas streets because the
bulldlng-the Young Men's Christian
association had been sold for demolition
to make way for the big Bramlels build
lug. James Morton, senior member of ihe
firm of James Mortpn & Sons, died nl
his home, 1710 Chicago street, after An
Illness of six weeks, at the ago of SO.
llo waa. born In England and resided here
about twenty years.
People and Events
Mrs, B. F. Beals. a member of the
Auburn (Me.) Daughter of the American
Ruvolutlon, tlalms the record In having
had four grandfathers in tho revolution
ary wpr.
The heroic treatment of a -year-old
nurse who married Charles W. Scho
field, '8. In a New York hosplti!, was
a success, but the bridegroom died. Tho
deathbed widow was willed SJO.000 for tho
operation, medically fpeaklng.
The most cosmopolitan cilld In tho
world Is probably Teggy Vertner, at pres
ent resident of Berkeley, Cat. ho
npcaks five different languages and has
traveled Sl.COO miles since her birth. Her
fattier has Interests In London, South
Africa and Australasia, and Is traveling
most of the time.
County Trcasuier P. C. O'Brien of
Clnveland has just returned two of three
checks receive at his office, eaoh In
payment ot the taxes of an aged Wen
Cleveland woman. Two different daughters-in-law
and one son paid tho tavs
as a Christmas present and he duplica
tion was only recently dlscooteJ.
The tax of ii cents a ton on coul
Imivosed by the state ot Pennsylvania
and collected at tho source has been
knocked out In the state courts. The
tax added 10 cents a ton to the price of
coal at the mines, and grew to li cents
at a distance. As the tax, fattened on
the way. Is pronounced unlawful, con
sumers need only mention It to dealers
and set their quarters bark.
Mrs. Anion Ctxneoska of Chlcugo Is the
s&ildest bride lu the Polish district ot
the lake city. Following the Polish cut
toni, men who sought a wedding dance
with the btlde put a coin or two In a
convenient collection box- Something
over J135 was contributed to the bridal
exchequer when some unromantlc thtaf
made away with the box. No wonder
the bride was wean, It not heartbroken,
after tour hours of profitless dancing.
The only woman member of th pres
gallery at Washington la Mrs. Mlm Web.
iter Richards, who was closely auotfatd
with her late husband, George t. Rich
ards of Bxetet, N. II. After the .cath
of her husband. Mrs. Richards went to
Wathlngton and'ts the Washington cor
renpondent for a number of New Hamp
khlro aud Massachusetts pipers. Al
though the paperc differed In politics,
has tart enough to get each ono
what It wants.
Lifting the Lid
St Louis Globe-Democrat: There Is one
satisfaction In letting tho Mexican rebels
have, all tho arms from us they want.
We can always send the army down
there and get them again. That Is just
what we did in the Philippines. We
tost a few men killed and wounded while
gettlnc possession of the donated arms.
but - that was a email matter between
friends.
Indianapolis News: The great 'question
Is, of course, as to the effect ot the lift
Itig of the embargo. The best opinion
serms to be that it will greatly strengthen
the constitutionalists, and thus hasten
the downfall of the Huerta regime. The
action of the president seems to be ap
proved by many of the Influential mem
bers of congress, flenator Root Is said
to endorse the policy. And many mem
bers ot the foreign relations committee
of the senate approve of the lifting ot
the embargo.
Boston Transcript: Wo do not doubt
that President Wilson believes ho has
shortened the period of turmoil and terror
In Mexico by lifting tho embargo, but we
wish he would glyo tho country the tea
sons for the faith that Is In htm. As
surances of tranquility In Mexico follow
ing the success of a militant party do
not occur spontaneously to anyone fa
miliar with the history or that unhappy
country. Within less than three years It
has had three governments and has seen
ono president exiled and another mur
dered.
Dotroit Freo Press; President Wilson
will believe he Is doing the proper thing
In favoring tho rebels we would not for
ix moment Impugn his motives but If ho
finally takes action it will be because he
has Inst his perspective In this matter.
His excuse for raising the embargo as
fnr as he has made It known Is the plea
ot a casuist, not of n sober logician, and
against It stands out the hard, cotd fact
that the raising of the embargo wilt
foster barbarism and will placo a premium
on outrage nnd assassination. It will
place 'arms In the hands ot men who In
the past havo shown themselves bandits,
murderers and common thieves, and who
have sworn to show no mercy to such
persons as may oppose them.
Pinched Smugglers
Bt Louis Republic: When Former
Congressman Llttauer pleaded guilty to
a charge that he conspired to smuggle
a StO.OOO necklace into this country he
also pleaded guilty to being the meanest
man In the yellow book of tariff hogs.
Indianapolis Nows: No one, we think,
will be surprised to hear that Llttauer Is
a smuggler. For years ho liaa acted on
Dm theory that It was his right to gat
everything he could out ot tho govern
ment. He demanded that taxes in his
behalf be levied on all the people ot the
United States. To him the government
was something to be milked. And he was
a most efficient milker.
Philadelphia Record: The publlo In
terest lu this case Is very greatly en
hanced by tho tact that' one of tho Llt-
tauers was In congress for ten .years, and
whllo thero was a contractor for gloves
for the army. Afterward he was very
.servlqeablo In convincing Mr. Payne that
the duty on gloves ought to be Increased.
The spectacle of a man trying to get the
duty on his products enhanced and then
beating the revenue laws by tho sur
reptitious Importation of Jewelry Is highly
diverting.
New York Sun; Possibly some healthy,
rich. Intelligent smuggler will yet be
made to repent In jail. That there Is
much shame to the prosperous smugglers,
men, or women, on being detected and
fined, may be doubted. It Is clever to
succeed In bilking the government. It Is
vr.pleasant lo be taken In the act; but,
bless you! no moral reprehension, no so
cial degradation attaches to the prac
tice of this attractive little malum
prohibitum. There may be public weep
ings, but thore will be private grin
ning of the culprit. But -who would
laugh at a yeor or two In Jail?
Twice Told Tales
Too Much Cnvlty.
When the conversation In a Wash
ington club turned to things tonsorlal
the other night. Congressman Frank P.
Woods of Iowa, was reminded of a little
Incident that occurred In a southern
barbershop:
One afternoon an esteemed citizen went
Into the aforesaid barbershop to have his
briars reaped, but no sooner had he taken
a seat In ono ot the chairs than he
dropped off Into heavy slumber. Appar
ently the shave artist was having his own
troubles In manipulating the customer,
and, after making several attempts, he
thoughtfully paused.
"Excuse me, sir," raid he, gently shak
ing the man In the chair, "but would you
mind waking Up I can't shave you while
you ere asleep,"
"Can't shave me while I'm asleep!'' ex
claimed the victim, with a wondering ex
Vresslon, "Why not?"
"Because," explained the barber as
softly as possible, "whin you fall Into
slumber your mouth opens so wide that
I can't find your tace."-Phlladelphla
Telegraph.
Impossible Claims.
The late George A. Hearn, tho-millionaire
business man and art collector ot
New York, was noted for his kind and
reasonable treatment of Ms employes.
Mr. Hearn used to smile at the new scien
tific, management craze, of which he
one said at a dinner:,
"These scientific management ieople,
with their Impossible claims ot doubling
and trebling a man's labor, remind me of
the humble hodcarrler's Impossible
promise.
"A facetious bovs said to a new hod
carrier: " 'Look-a-here. friend, didn't I hire you
to carry bricks up that ladder by the
dayr
" 'Yes, sir,' said tne hodcarr.er. touch
ing his rap.
" 'Well, I've had my eye on you, and
you've only done It half a day today.
You spent the other half coming down the
ladder.'
"The hodcarrler touched his cap again.
'"I'll try do to better tomorrow, sir,'
he said, humbly. New York Globe.
Ulvlnc Ills Otth Mennnrr.
t nrooklyiv, eagle.
"W don't care for the flag," says' W.
I). ' Haywood, boss of the Industrial
Workers ot the World, "and we are
against patriotism," He has clearly ap
pointed himself a committee of one to
justify Roosevelt's characterization ot
"an undesirable ritUen."
a
t'tinrchra and the Strnnner.
OMAHA, Feb. To the Editor of The
Bee: I read your article on "Finding
Church In Omaha No Rosy Job for tho
Stranger' In Sunday's Bee with keenest
interest. You have thus Preaohed a
powerful sermon to us church folk. !
preachers and all. You have laid before
us soma things we ought to think about
and act upon. One of them Is this: Why
are our churches so eager to get away
from the downtown districts, where they
may be the more convenient and accessi
ble to so many of the very people who
need them? Well, I know the stereotyped
answer. It Is this: "Most of our mem
ber resldo out further nnd wo must
locate to suit them." Then, let us stop
prating about tho "man In tho street,"
and going out Into tho highways and
hedges and compelling men to come In.
I feel almost certain that If the
Founder of tho church wero hero on
earth again He would not erect nil the
beautiful, elegant houses of worship out
In the attractive residential centers, but!
would build some down In the "highways
and hedges' of the city, down where the
man of the world might be constantly
tempted to go to church, "It Is too far
for ottr people to go," whines the smug
man of the pew. "Our people," who arc
they? The Master said He would give us
His disciples "the heathen for your In
heritance." But these same pious per
sons will trot clear across the city any
day or night on a mission ot fun or
frolic.
Now, really, are there two sides to tho
argument that some not all-churches
ought to be down In tho throbbing heart
of tho city? No, I wouldn't have them all
there; I'd have some out convenient to
theso pious souls, who need more of the
"truth." Now. I read In your paper that
the First Presbyterians are preparing to
erect a grand tcmplo of worship Bomc
wherc out on Snob Hill, or Knob Hill or
Bob Hill, anyway, out of tho easy reach
Of the wayfaring man and the strangor
"within our gates." That will leave
Trinity cathedral ond a Cathollo church
or two to hold the fort down town. Thero
la KountzA Memorial a few blocks out
and conspicuously located and First Con
gregational and First Methodist nnd
First Christian and one or two others
carefully concealed not so very far away,
but they are In no sense downtown
churches. 1 can't for the life of me see
how Christians, "eager for souls," can
justify this sort ot thing. Of course. If
our good friends aro retiring to the
quieter and more secluded recesses to
get away from the unseemly and un
couth "man ot tho street," then that's
another matter. Wonder what Impres
sion It makes on tho mind of this "man
cf the street'' as to the church's solici
tude for his welfare. D. L. M.
A Good Thin if.
OMAHA, Feb. 7.-TO the Editor of The
Bee: Whisky Is a good thing If tho traf-
no no properly regulated. Bo Is opium.
Whisky, that Is, good whisky, Is good
for tho stomach, althouch It' will mnkn
you deathly bIcIc tho first time to take
u; nut atter you have used It for ten
years you will agree that It la rnn.i fnr
the health. Whisky, If used In modem-
jioii. inauea men moro cheerful nnd bet
ter sausuea witn lire, ir you will take
a..pwm at this bunch or d.i-nvi,i n.i
broken men on the bread line you will
iuiy agree that I am right
The law saya that whisky Is beneficial
to men who have reached the ago of 21
years, but at lim na nf v t.
exceedingly Injurious; let ps be humble
and not contradict these grent man nlm
make our laws. Whisky taken between
me hours of , a. m. and 8 p. m, Is nour
ishing, Invigorating, and aids In aunnnrt.
Ins the general health, but after 8
o'clock In the evening, the meat who
touches, tastes or smells It Is a deliberate
and unmitigated scoundrel; for you must
know that an action may be lawful and
laudable at 7 o'clock, and a most dlaboll
can offense an hour later. Let us have
saloons, but have them under proper re
strictions; let us havo bawdy houses on
Ninth street, but not on Twenty-ninth;
let us set aside a tart of tlm nliv tn- ti...
use of burglars, and allow them to burgle
a inw nours eacn nitfht.
Now a saloon Is such a good thing that
the law forhlili
on Sundays when a man has time to
enjoy the blessings of life, the law In
terferes with his Demons! llhsrv
shuts off his supply of booze. In the
state or Konsas. on account of the hu
midity of the atmosphere, whisky Is not
counted as one of the teraimri n nr
hence there are loss paupers and con
victs in that state than in Colorado
where the population I tho., h.te
dens.
If the saloons wer closed
workers who now draw good salaries
would be Jobless: man- nllr 4nA
would be splitting cord wood; one-half the
lawyers who sit and bark at each other
aero the court room would take inh
on the city atreets, and the rich could
no longer enjoy tne delights of a stum
mlng trip. If our dives and opium Joints
be properly regulated, segregated and
fumigated they are all right
E. O. McINTOSH.
Hammer Taps
What has become of the old-fashioned
man who used to wear his hat around the
house?
LoJ of men who brag pompoue'y about
their connection with the money market
can't even raise the market money.
It girls were to choose their husbands
as carefully as they choo?e tlulr hats
the woods would be filled with bachelors.
A man wouldn't stop to glance at a
window display ot wax models In union
suits. But a flash at a stocking on a
live model will blockade traffic.
Father always poo-poos when mother
tells how hard she has to work. But
father would rather take a licking than
try to dress one of the children.
When maw and pw go out walklng-'&nd
inuw Is dolled up In finery like a circus
horse, while paw has fringes on his pants,
you can tell who Is boss in that house
hold. There Was a time when you could get
away with It. But nowadays If you teJ
a boy he has chance to become presl
dept hr knows right away that your mid
dle name la "bugs."
It Isn't the most Inspiring thing In the
I wot Id to see a man dig down Into his
pocket, pull out a purse, unwrap the
blame thing, fish around for a nickel,
look at the coin three times and squeeze
It to make certain It isn't a dime, when
he makes a purchase. But you can net
that when this kind ot a lad dies they
don't have tc take up a collection to bury
Xilm. Cincinnati Enquirer.
THESE GIRLS OF OURS.
Judge What Is your age, madam?
Witnes Twenty-seven and seme
months.
Judge I want your exact age, please.
How many mentbs?
Witness One hundred ami twenty. Bos
ton Transcript.
"Don't worry about that young fellow's
infatuation for you. It is merely puppy
love." "I suppoee. then, that Is why he fol
low me llks a dog." Baltimore American.
"Doee your husband seem to .care for
juu an muon since lie necame rien us ho
did when you and he were poor?"
"Yes, I think be does. You see he has
liver trouble and rheumatism and can't
drink much or Indulge In late suppers."
Chicago Record-Herald.
"If I sue nt nil." she said. "It will be
for half a million."
"But you don't expect to get It?"
"Yes. I d. in advertising." Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
"Why arc fo many marriages disap
pointing?'' said Miss Klsle ile Wolf
at a dinner at tho Colony ojub In Now
1 07K.
"W ell. most of them n-o disappointing
because the average girl measures her
sweetheart hv the hero of her favorite
novel when she ought to measure him
by her father and brother." New York
Times.
"Why aren't you going lo tho ball?"
"I have ft slight cold."
"You can wrap up well."
"I know. But I don't think Inv ball
gown would stand a snoezo." Louisville
Courier Journal.
Doubtful Customer Renllv. lion, flrn
theeo eggs fresh?
smart Assistant Madam, If you will
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Tel. Douglas 1U8-1. 10th nnd Douglas Sts Oinahn.
Florida, New
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Alt principal resorts in the south reached by quick and cpa
Tenlent schedules of the Louiivillo & Nashville Railroad. Solid
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Greater variety routes than any other line; diverse routes to
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' Y Route of the magnificent Dixie Limited, Dixie Flyer and South I
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For full particulars, rate, tickets, descriptive illut- 'I
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Ask for
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YOU insure your factory
and your stock, though
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klmll.v ftep to th telphone nnd call- up
our farm you can hear the hens that Inld
thot eggs still laekllng. Pearson's
Weekly.
AS TO EYES.
John Kendrlck Hangs, In Judge.
Now, who'd be Wise
When two brown eyes . ,
With roguish glances pfague his heart?
I pay no heed
To wisdom's scree".
Nor earc for science, learning, art.
What sages say,
I fling away .....
And .give myself to folly sheer,
For lov hath chimes
Fools scnee. betimes.
But wisest sages never hear!
Tis snld that woman's nlm Is poor!
That this trtie 1 am not sure.
But this I know: When Daphnes eyes
Speed glamcs nt me Fcornfulwise
Though I may smile. conconliriK It.
Deep in my heart 1 m squarely hltl
"Slmllla t-lmlllbus?" I
I've tried that wis? saw of the long ago,
And found It true,
tn Chloe'a azure eyes a ready cure
For all my ills I find Is ever sure,
When I am blue.
One glance within their skyey depths,
nnd my! , ,
How nil my blues before their nzure fly
Bluo eyes wero made to cheer us when
wo're blue; ....
Black eyes wero made to flash light out
of gloom;
Brown eyes wero made to take us in
And all our dark, dun paths with Joy
Illume.
But black or brown or blue as skies
above,
Tho mission of them nil Is peace and
love.
Orleans, Cuba,
Coast Resorts
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THE DENTISTS
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