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Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, March 05, 1915, Image 6

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TMK HKK: OMAHA, FKIDAY, MAhVII o, l!H5.
THE OMAHA DAILY BEE
FOUKPEn BY EDWARD ROaEWATER.
VICTOR ROSEWATER.. EDITOR.
The Bee ruhllahlng Company, Proprietor.
HER Bl'ILDlNQ, KARNAM AND HKVKNTEKNTII.
Kntered at Omaha. postofflce aa second-class matter.
TEItMS OF SL'BSCRIITiriN.
By carrier
per month.
hfiC..
he..
-
2ftc..
ac.
Py mail
per year.
$s i
4 "0
TO
4.00
latty anil P'indar
lally without Sunday. ...
r?vnlng end Sunday
Fvenlnf without Sunday.,
Huiiilav Ilea only
Fend notice of rhanite Of address fr ron-ip'alnt of
Irregularity In delivery to Omaha Bee, Circulation
Department.
REMITTANCE.
Remit by draft. expresa or postal order Only two
cent stamps received In payment of small ae
entints Yernnnal checks, except on Omoha and eastern
exchange, not accepted.
OFFICES.
Omaha The Cu BuUdlna
South Omaha Si N street
Council Bluff 14 North Main street.
Lincoln W Little Building.
Chicago aol Hrrl Hul'dlng
New Tork Room 1!0.. Fifth avenue,
flt. F nils--MB New Hank rf Commerce.
Wsahlngton 7S Fourteenth St., N. W.
CORRfcFONDKNCB.
'Address communication reUtln to news anil edi
torial matter to Omaha Bee. 7-dltoiial Department.
FEimiAItV C1RCTLATIOX,
51,700
Stale ef Nebraska. County of Douglas, in.
Pwlght William, circulation manaacr of The r
Publishing company, being duly sworn, nay that the
vera circulation for tho month of February, i:Hi,
waa M.Tno.
FUVIOHT WILLIAMS, Circulation Manager.
Subscribed In mv presence and aworn to before
SB, thia 3d dav of March, 1WI5
ROBERT HUNTER, Notary Tubllc.
Subscribers leaving tho city temporarily
should have The Bee mailed to them. Ad
lrew will be changed aa often aa requested.
rr
brch
Thought for the Day
.( by Sttllm Af. Cain
Be only it advancing in lift vhone heart ii
getting softer, whote blood warmer, vKom brain
quicker, ichoet tpirU U entering into living pace.
Jfusfcin.
-J.
The University club of Omaha Is a live wire,
and don't you forget It.
We don't care how soon the groundhog
raajtes hia reappearance.
The weather man la doing his best to Vx
pedite the winter wheat crop's trip to Europe.
Wonder If the health commissioner got per
mission frotji the water commissioner before
Uaulng hla "boll-the-water" edict.
Nebraska is not the only place with 'demo
cratic patronage troubles. In fact, the state
(without a patronage fight is the exception to
the rule.
Of all the war news coming ont of the far
eafet the report of "Great execution in the
Champagne district" may be accepted as fairly
accurate.
The manner In which the wheat market Is
hammering bakers' excuses for strueeslng the
weight of bread loaves is painful to the verge
of scream.
The ship purchase bill dies with the dead
congress. By the time the next congress gets
into action, the excuse for the bill will probably
be dead also.
; Omaha's country neighbors ought to come
into the family homestead if lor no other reason
than the luxury of joy riding in the Jitneys at
regular rates.
Mr. Gary of the Steel trust urges rounc men
to "etlck to the golden rule." No doubt the
young men will gladly heed the advice If mag
nates will only leave a few scraps of gold on
the rule.
It Is not pleasant to chronicle back-sets suf
fered by. Omaha, but still our people should not
overlook the fact that the loss of the federal
reserve bank, the Indian supply depot and the
signal corps school, all are to be charged up to
the democratic administration.
We are not sure that making life convicts
eligible to parole aften ten years incarceration
will be favoring them with clemency or not.
Fear of the culprit's final escape from punish
ment may Impel the jury to bring In a capital
Instead of an Imprisonment verdict.
The railroad presidents are acting on Sec
retary Bryan's advice to watt on the law
maker themselves Instead of sending lobbyists
to Pak for them. It remains to be seen, how
ever, which la more productive of results. We
have beard of law-makers who would rather be
aeen by a railway lobbyist than by a railway
(resident.
Advice that May Well Be Heeded.
Tresldent I,ee of the Cleveland Auto club
gave the citizens of Omaha some good advice
during the short visit of the Cleveland trade
boosters to thia city. It was to get busy on a
campaign to secure the overland tourist travel
over the Lincoln Highway. He pointed out that
it Is not enough to merely provide local accom
modations for these automobile travelers; the
eastern folks who will visit the west during the
coming summer must be made acquainted with
the fact that Omaha Is ready to take care of
them. The attractions oT the route must be set
before them, and things generally made plain.
The time for this work is short, and if action
is taken along the lines suggested by Mr. Lee, It
must be taken promptly. Other cities have been
busy, notably Kansas City, which Is Interested in
diverting travel along the Santa Fe trail. Omaha
stands to lose heavily unless the Interested par
ties move without delay.
wMii mtt ulu
At th extra aeapiou of the city council a new street
car ordinance waa prevented. Jt requires that afreet
cars Ott all tracks and ouraa be run from 4 a. in. to
(km. and every twenty mlnutea from '20 p. m. lo
zsldnlcht, and penalizes failure to warm the cara.
The gas fixtures for the new oourt houee arrived
from New York and are now bring placed in poaitlon.
Thomas Brennan, the great Irish patriot, la here t
deliver an addreaa to the Kmmet Monument associa
tion. Ho Is described aa a man of eaay bearing, prob
ably not over 30 yeera of age. tail, allm and almost
beard lee but for a light aandy mustache with a highly
Intellectual forehead and cat of feat urea. The meet
ing; la the evening waa presided over by Hon. I'alrlc&
Egaa. and others contributing to the program were:
Mtse L Lorene Glbeon. Mlae Fanny Arnold. Mlaa
Chamberlain, Jay Northrup and Walter B. Wllklna.
A semi-riot waa reported to have taken place at
taa alaughter houae when HuperiateiMlent Crouaae put
up a flag; lu honor of the new president, which waa
promptly ordered down by Manager Meday.
Carles K. Kobertson. bookkeeper lor Weldeman A
Ctw. oommlaalon merchants, waa united In marriage
to Mies Caroline K. Van buren, daughter of Mr. and
Mrs. VL Van Buren, at their residence, corner of Cali
fornia anc Dutton streets.
Bor. J. A. Hultrnan and wire have returned from a
two weeks' Chicago trip.
Important Laws Dying with Congren.
Many Important measures, passed by one
house or the other, will expire on the calendar
when congress adjourns on Thursday, because of
the inability of house or senate to reach them.
Among the list are measures that have been
recommended by both the republican and demo
cratic parties, or have been urged on congress
by Influential bodies of citizens, and that are
looked upon as essential to progress. The Kern
McOlllicuddy bill, to provide protection for gov
ernment employes under workmen's compensa
tion; tho Herry bill, to regulate the shipping of
ronvlct-niadc goods; the administration bill,
dealing with the Philippines; conservation bills
of all kinds, the rural credits bill, and blmilar
measures, all go down to death with the calen
dar. The failure to pass these laws Is charge
able directly to the iron rule of King Caucus,
rigidly enforced in support of the administra
tion's shipping bill, a measure that was fore
doomed to defeat because of its impractical na
ture. It the democrats had in no other way for
feited the confidence and support of the public,
tbe record of omission shown by the present con
gress would be sufficient to condemn them.
Patronage Cometh Soon.
Two whole years have elapsed since tbe
democrats took possession of the promised land
at' Washington, but tbey have elapsed without
distribution of any of the Important federal
patronage in Nebraska. Except for Secretary
Bryan's cabinet portfolio and Governor Met
calfe's temporary Panama berth, and a few
minor places, nothing has come this way, but
on the contrary all of the faithful have been
compelled to remain hungry because of the
deadlocked feud between tho senator and tbe
secretary of state. All the efforts of outside
peacemakers, and all the frantically passed reso
lutions demanding compromise have failed to
unlock the gate, and what was first hinted at
as a possibility will come to pass when the presi
dent goes at It with recess appointments. In
such event the distribution la sure to be dictated
by Secretary Bryan in total disregard of the de
Biros of the senator, who has persistently ar
raigned himself against the administration
measures.
Patronage coineth soon for tbe democrats,
but hardly in a form to sooth the sores and heal
the breach. -
On the Other Hand.
Railroad presidents, appearing before the
legislature, support their plea for increased
rates by showing the figures that indicate that
tbe sen tee now rendered is not properly com
pensated for, This argument would be more ef
fective were not the recollection of other actions
on part of the railroads still fresh In the pub
lic mind. It is easily recalled in Nebraska how
James J. Hill bought tbe Burlington road from
the Perkins group, paying for it at the rate of
2 for $1, and guaranteeing the dividend on
the new valuation. In 1907 E. H. Harriman
added one hundred millions to the stock of tbe
Union Pacific, saying the road would earn on
that additional amount. These great feats In
stock expansion are too recent history to bave
been entirely forgotten.
Railroads are entitled to earn proper in
come, but it In open to question how far tbey
rhould be permitted to take advantage of a time
of general depression to raise rates to continue
to pay dividends on their inflated security is
sues. The profits they have a right to ask
should be based on legitimate financing.
Look Who1. Here!
Now cometh forth tbe tender, shrinking
lieutenant governor, and, in full knowledge of
Ms individual weakness, he proposes that in
union there is strength, and if enough of him
tan be gotten together, he will be able to de
mand and receive certain things that are now
withheld from and denied him. First among
these desiderata is more pay, showing the lieu
tenant governor to be normally constituted, like
most of those of us who toil for hire. Then, he
wants more power, and in addition to the al
liance defensive, he proposes to form the al
liance offensive, and that whatever of legislation
is urged by the lieutenant governor of one state
included in the bund, the same shall be advo
cated by all the others.
The fifth wheel of the wagon Is beginning to
turn. No longer will the lieutenant governor
sit, a lonely and neglected figure, in solemn
silence presiding over a body in whose delibera
tions he is permitted only a passive part. As an
exemplar of tbe modern notion of tbe efficacy
of organization for the accomplishment of any
thing, he proposes to have a share in the busi
ness of the body politic of which he has long
been an ornament, but never a part. And it is
eminently fitting that our own Pearson should
be united with the peerless O'Hara of Illinois 'n
bringing this about.
President liolden of tbe Burlington is cred
ited with remarking to the legislative com
mittee that tbe railroads are opposed to litiga
tion on railroad rates. Tbe admission is a pain
ful reminder of the sundering of the oldtlme ties
which made the courts a haven of refuge for the
railroads.
i. Bruce Ismay of Titanic notoriety has been
beard from. What about ia Immaterial, it suf
fices to know that Bruce's voice occasionally
rises above 'tbe rattle of the Titanic skeletons in
his closet.
The Political Caldron
WIfFN thre's nothing elee to talk about Jut now
In rrnnec-tlon with the city coimnlFslon
primary campaign. It a.crn to bo In order to relet
back to "unfinished buelncsa.- or ' the g.wd of inc
order.' and discuss Judge Abraham Lincoln Sutton as
a n.-l"le or probable or Improbable candidate
A coterie of village rut-ups. talking In front of the
town ball. wer enjoying a little converse rione in the
gloaming. Somebody put Into motion a current of
thought when he declared that a man called during
the artrrnoon at tho office of the election commis
sioner and rccured a petition Wank to be circulated
with Jiidne button's nnme filled Into It.
The town constable refilled his corncob pine and
ruffed vigorously. !l had met the Judge not an hour
before and declared that the Judge disavowed any In
tention of becoming a candidate, nor did the Jude
seem to have any knowledge of the circulation of the
petition.
Putting aald,. the above, bit of levity, it may be said
In all seriousness that a petition waa taken out for
Judge Sutton and It may be added that twenty-four
hours after the petition waa taken out, tho Judge told
the writer he knew nothing of the petition and was
unable to say whether he would become a candidate,
fmiulry at tho office of the election commissioner
failed to yield the name of the man who is thus In
terested In the Judge.
or course." naively declared hi honor, "It may
be tlmt my frlenda have taken out a petltlf i for me.
If so. they have not consulted me about thl. matter.-'
Such are the uncertainties of politic.
It is believed the Ji'dge will have something to say
on the sixteenth of this month, because ho looks upon
the numeral sixteen as having eotne mystic significance
for him. He resigned a Judge on the "sixteenth
of the month, his office was burned out on the six
teenth of the month, he wore his first long trousers
wh"n he was 11 and he thlnka Sixteenth street the
greatest thoroughfare In tho world.
Charley I nltt ha filed. There la no mistake about
It, for his name appears on tho list poated In the elec
tlon commissioner's efflce. Charley haa lived thirty
two years In Omaha and has never held e-n elective of
fice, though he has chased one several times. Ho
wants to be a city commissioner and expecta to kick
up a cloud of dust during this campaign,
Mark the name of John Power off the Hat of prob
abilities. "Honest John," In a personal and exclusive
Interview, declares he will not be a candidate. He
thanks his many friends for their kind considera
tion, but ho does not believe he should make the race
thia time.
Pam ftpcatlen, of the house of Bpratlen, Is now
busy formulating a platform which will be a formid
able structure, ho asseverates. Mr. bpratlen Is visiting
the city hall several times a week, that he may get
famlllai- with the municipal building.
Charles II. Wllhnell. one or the preaent city com
mlasioners. is tho first of the present Incumbents to
file for re-elcctlon. He is now In the race to the fin
ish. rarapluaslng the words of a popular song. Harry
J.I. Hackett la singing to himself. "It's a long way to
the city park office, but my heart Is there. The fact
of the business la, Mr. Hackett would like to be a
city commissioner and he haa his eye on the depart
ment of parka and boulevards. To show that he Is not
bashful about it, Mr. Hackett Is circulating Ms pri
mary petition.
Fred H. Hoye, who announces that he positively
will stay in the race, Is now doing a marathon meet
ing the plchlans and politicians, the proletariat and al'
of the rest of "em. He finds this exertion rather
str mucins at first, but says ho Is petting into his old
form. Being a building contractor and getting his
start aa a brick mason, he says he does not believe
In setting up political straw men and then knocking
them down. Nor does he Intend to throw any bricks
In this campaign.
Nicholas Dargaczewskl, better known as "Nick,"
made a stirring address the other evening before the
Polish Citizen's club at Twenty-fourth and Bancroft
streets, lly the way, ho was Indorsed by this organiza
tion of Polish citizens. In announcement of his can
didacy Mr. Dargaczawskt said he waa ctIfldent he
could fill tho shoes of any of tho present city com
mission Incumbents. Me made this general admission
without mentioning names. He is friendly, to every
one of the commissioners, but he believes It Is unwise
for a man to hide his light under a bushel, as a cer
tain unwiso man of old did.
Twice Told Tales
A Complalat.
"Knglisli phrases are creeping into our pure lingo
at an amazing rate," said Oeorge Ade at a houae
party at Ilaxciden farm, hla Indiana estate.
"We now call a dude by the English term of nut.
A sack suit ia a lounge ault. A derby hat. a bowler.
For 'excuse nic' we say, 'I'm aorry.' Even our flno
old Yankee word 'smart' haa been corrupted. Tou
never know what 'smart' means any more.".
Mr. Ade frowned.
"Why," said he. "when people nowadays tell me a
girl's smart, I have to ask them:
" 'High brow or low neck?' "Indianapolis News.
laleeleaa lafornia I Ion.
'When Illicit distilling was common In Ireland there
waa an old man who went about the country repair
ing whisky pots. The gauger met him one day and
asked him what he would take to Inform him (the
gauger) where be had repaired the last whisky pot.
"Och!" said the old man. "I'll Just take half a
crown."
"Ioiie!" retorted the gauger. "Here's your money,
but be careful to tell me the truth."
"Och! I'll tell you no lie. sir. I Just mended the
last whisky pot where the hole was." Kansas City
Star.
People and Events
Talk Is to be cheaper in New Tfork, If you must
put It on the wire. Telephone people promise to come
down from 10 to S cents a spiel.
General Rosalie Jones, champion suffrage walker,
has forsaken the tircaome job, and ia hitting the
road with an automobile. Jonea pays for the gaso
line. The tiny stream of American touriat travel to
solemn Puree has been choked off by tbe German
submarine scare. The only Americans venturing
errors the channel me the war contract jobbers.
Havana la going back to the bull fight game. Amer
ican waya and American ldeaa of duty are steadily
declining in Cuba. The dollar la the only thing bear
ing tho American stamp that gets the glad hand down
there.
' Little Old New York" Is steadily changing its
face. The Hoffman and the Albemarle hotels on
Madison Square are about to disappear, and their
laalng marks the end of a aeotton famous for IK
hotels twenty yeejs ago. They will be succeeded by
loft and office buildings.
Francis Sayre, son-in-law of President Wilson, de
clined a salary of tK.uuO a year aa "business manager"
of Wisconsin university, the fountain hed of uplift
measures, lleaaons for declining are not stated, but
are presumed to refer to the incompatibility of the
tempera of bustnesy and uplift.
A man supposed to be bughouse threatened to
blow- up a city block In Los Angeles and displayed a
bomb-like package a though he meant business.
When the package waa unwrapped a fine fat ham
was revealed. The fellow explained that he could
not restrain the Joy his treasure Imparted.
John W. Mi-Cardlo. former tax commissioner of
Missouri, appeared In the Bt. Louis police court and
pleaded for leniency for a woman who had victimized
Mm for S&Ji) In a book deal.' McCardle admitted that
the operation of pulling bis leg was performed witlt
artlstio skill and daintiness and was worth the pike.
Could Missouri gallantry go farther?
Wti fa. Fsrsl.k the 4o.rf
CAHSON, Is., March l.-To the Ldttor
of The bee: I suppose that all the lead
ing newspapers receive many letters from
cranks this Is from a crank on L'ncoln
and Lineoun literature.
In Smith s Bibllogrsphy 1 note the pub
lication of a sermon delivered by Hev.
P. M. Dlmmlck "at the capltol In Omaha,
N. T., April 1. 1W5" a funeral sermon In
honor of the dead president. I never saw
the sermon, but many copies are no doubt
In existence, and I write to suggest its
republication In The Bee on the fiftieth
anniversary of the date of its delivery.
I write you this simply because 1 am
lrte rested In the subject and The Bee la
one of my favorite papers.
F. Q. WEEKS.
Omaha m Stopover Polat.
OMAHA, March 4. To the Kdltor of
The Bee: I read with pleasure your
editorial In yesterday's paper relative to
advertising Omaha as a stop-over point,
and I believe that the retail and whole
sale merchants of this rlty could assist
greatly In this movement.
My thought at this time In this connec
tion would be the Issuing of an enclosure
to go In the mall advertising the various
hotels In this city. We now have a hotel
that will compare favorably with any
hotel In the United States, and we also
have the new Castle hotel, which Is to be
a hish. grade hotel, and the hotels that
we have had for a number of years that
will compare favorably with the hotels In
any city In the western country. Such
a circular could probably bo Issued by
the Hotel Operators' association In this
city, showing cuts and brief Information
regarding each hotel, and the merchants
of this city could enclose these slips In
all letters that they are sending to the
eastern concerns with whom they do busi
ness, as well as their customers through
out the western territory.
The more literature of this kind that
in placed In the hands of the public out
side of Omaha, the more people will be
influenced to stop over with us, and I
am sure an occasional editorial from
your pen on tho subject will assist
greatly. f. V. JUDSON.
Way Raise Krrlaht Rates t
HAMPTON. Neb.. March 4-To the
E'dltor of The Bee: I say to the Inter
stste Commerce commission, force the
railroads to sell the unnecessary land
which they have all along their right-of-way
at every station for a half & mile
long. They have an extra V to 400 feet
wide strip in every town along their line
which they never had any use for anl
never will have, especially In the small
towns. They could take a heavy burden
off their shoulders by selling this un
necessary land at a good price and take
this money and use It to pay off some
of their debts and get rid of paying taxes
thereon, which come out of the public's
pocket. Owning their non-productive
land Is only a heavy burden which the
public Is carrying by paying exorbitant
freight rates, and which they will always
be expected to do unless they sell this
and let the new owners pay the taxes on
It, and make It productive, which would
help the railroads in three ways: First,
they would get the use of that money;
second, get rid of paying taxes thereon;
third, by letting the farmer make It yield
crops, which the railroads would haul.
This enormous sum would amount to
ILOOO.OOO annually to a railroad having
right to 10,000 miles of track.
Another rase of vital Importance to a
railroad la to stop aggravating the pub
lie's bitter feeling toward them In cases
where a farmer's elevator desires to
build or a co-operative firm desires a
lease on their track. A railroad company
invanaoiy ngnia such companies, stand
ing In their own light In not being will
ing to lease the land needed, when they
would have the material and machinery
to haul to add to their profit. They have
no reason other than partiality, yet at
the same time they are making the public
dig up for the deficit. What the rail
roads need ia less partiality and more
common sense; less pencil pushers and
less red tape. They would get along
better and not have to come to the public
on their knees begging for clemency with
a four-column expensive paid ad in all
the magazines. Treat the public fair and
square and the railroads will be treated
likewise. There Is never a better adver
tisement thsn a well satisfied customer.
STEPHEN S. BITTICK.
Democratic Patronage Troubles.
WAIIOO. Neb., March 3 To the Editor
et The Bee: It seems that the Waah
Ington corresrc ndent of a responsible Ne
braska newspaper is Riving, through tho
medium of his paper, the Information
that as soon as congress adjourns the
president and his secretary of state are
going to dispose of the federal political
plums In this state. Owing to the great
mental strain that haa been weighing
them down for the last several months.
somebody may have auggested to this
pair of astute politicians the propriety of
turning their backs on Washington for a
day or so. while they hie themselves
away to the mountains, or the lakes, or
possibly to the ancient democratic shrine,
the historic Hermitage, on the banks of
the historic bay. It would seem that
here In this place, sacred to the devotees
at the shrine of so-called democracy, this
pair of astute guardians of the peopis's
liberties, watchdogs of the nation's treas
ury and custodians of the people's In
terests, might, after due deliberation,
prayerfully proceed to parcel out to pa
triots partisans the perquisites due to
persistent political productivity. In other
words, the one-time president of Prince
ton university, who. by the accident of
politics, Is now dictating orders, appoint
ments and policies from the chair once
occupied by Lincoln, and the mighty
mogul who, by reason of the same ac
cident. I shuffling around In the shoes of
one Alexander Hamilton, Daniel Webster
and James O. Blaine, are soon to enter
on the work of distributing the federal
patronage of this great state.
But let it be knwn that democracy
that will not bend the pregnant hinges
of the knee Is not entitled to the thrift
that may, or may not follow fawning.
Ia other words, that other mighty apos
tle of democracy who Is shuffling around
in the shoes of his Illustrious father, from
whom he seems to have Inherited no
political legacy, only some of his quali
ties, among which are those of honesty
and sincerity of purpose, and which he
bellevea ought to be the common heritage
of. us all. is neither to be Invited nor
permitted to enjoy the day off or to en
gage In the ploua manlfeatations at the
Hermitage, or tuo pastoral eshlleratlons
of lake and woods. It has lately tran
spired, through unofficial sources, that
Senator Hitchcock la to have no part in
the distribution of the slate's patronage.
The author of I lie "Prince of Peace"
seems to bave about aa much use for the
senator as hia aforetime progenitors had
for his illustrious father. How true it is
that If you sow the wind you must reap
the whirlwind. The way of the transgres
sor ia hard, and to a nnn of the sena
tor's acumen It is hardly necessary to
rolnt a moral. However, we will suggest
this: "Train tip n child In the way he
lvwld go and w hen he Is old he will not
depart from It." was the admonition of
the wisest of all men. The senator seems
to be an exception to the rule. Otherwise
It would be beyond the power of this ad
ministration to ask him to compromise
his conscience or his Judgment or to hu
miliate him by refusing him the right
to participate in the distribution of pub
lie favors a rlpht end n privilege that
Is as clearly hla as It Is that of any other
man- C. H. CI.
GRINS AND GROANS.
'Its no wonder Jiggs finances are In
bad shape."
"What's the trouble?"
"Why, his wife doesn't think anything
or ordering two or three loaves of bread."
Buffalo Lxpress.
City Visitor Tour son at college Is quite
an athlete, I understand. Great at tlitow-Ine-
the hammer.
Farmer Hawbuck Tea. gol durn It! Iast
time he was daown 1 gave him a hammer
to fix the barn an' he threw it so fur I
haint seen It sence. Boston Transcript.
"Could you learn to love me?" asked
the sweet young thing
"Well." replied the voung man, "i have
learned to love a lot of other girls."
Yonkers Statesman.
"I am wedded to my art," said the emo
tional actress.
"Well." replied the cynical manager,
maybe It would be advantageous for vou
to get a divorce and make art pay vou
alimony. "Washington Star.
"What's thst piece of cord tied around
your finger for?"
"My wife put It there to remind me to
post a letter"
"And did you post It?"
"No; she forgot to give it to me." Cin
cinnati Enquirer.
"These apartments are entirely too
dark."
"They are no darker than the average."
"Yea. but we want to do light house
keeping." Baltimore American.
A "cub" reporter on a New Tork news
paper was aent to Paterson to write the
story of the murder of a rich manufac
turer l'V thieves. He spread hlmse.f en
the fetalis and naively concluded rl.-c ac
count with this sentence:
"Fortunately for tne deceased, nc nun
deposited all of his money in the bant
the clay before, so he lost practically
nothing but his life.' -Everybody s Mag
azine. THE FIRST ROBIN.
Grand Rapids News.
Bill Aug, the soda Jerker, stood st Jaii-
riorf s marble bar.
In meditation deep was he. His mlnil. it
roamed afar .
To bosky dells and rippling stresm where
trout are apt to lurk.
A vision of a Joyous spring came to tne
luncheon clerk,
"Pay. bo," he said, as he brought on our
sinkers snd our tea.
"Spring's on tho wav to this burg, sure,
take that tip straight from me.
When 1 came clown at 6 o'clock this
morning lust at dnwn . .
I lamped the first spring robin hoppin
'round upon a lawn."
We've got a lot of faith in Bill. For
many vears we've heard
His brand of wise philosophy on all that
hn occurred.
If any other friend of ours had said this
wondrous thing
Concerning the discovery of this first
bird of spring
We would have taken It with salt and
winked the leeward eye.
Hut BUI Is such an honest cuss-he'd tell
the truth or die.
"The harbinger I saw, taid BUI, "was
somewhat weak and pale.
And waa some wabbly on his pins. No, it
were not no quail.
It staggered 'round about a tree, craz'
as a loon.
Its song was weak and seemed to say, '1
guess I'm here too soon '
'Go back,' I said. 'Go back, you nut,
unto the sunny south.
Before our climate stops your song by
freezing up your mouth.'
Fut that bird simply looked at me pa
thetic like and broke
Into n song which seemed to snv, 'I'll
stay here, if I croak.'
"You sav that It might not have been a
robin? Mercy, man,
If I can't tell a robin I would like lo
know who can!
It wasn't any whlppoorwill or hen or
stork or crane.
A man who cannot pick out birds gives
me an angling pain.
Oh, yes. he was some skinny and his
feathers they were rough, '
But for all that I know it was a robin
liKht enough."
Will it be "Mild"
this evening?
fj One's tobacco taste gets out-of-sorts
if fed on too many black
cigars.
J There's a time for mild cigars
just as there's a time for heavy ones.
How about you? Have you found
the mild cigar that satisfies your
smoker's taste?
J We believe you will get new light
on this subject . if you make your
second and third cigars this evening
"modulated" Havanas Tom
Moores.
J Just for mildness they always
come back for Moore,
Tom Moore
cigar 10
Littim Tom 5
Unit Tern it "all IfWaj "mm
if A dot rest trjy m nickel.
BX1T ft ICIttll. CtOAJS
CO., SIS So. iota Sri
Omaha, dstzibatos.
) fx
e
Busy Bee Bicycle Contest
closes at 4 P. M. Saturday,
March 6th. Some little boy
or girl will soon be happy
riding this bicycle. Are you
the lucky one?
This picture of tbe bicycle i
will be in Tbe Bee every day.
Tbe bicycle will be given
Free to the boy or girl thai
send us tbe moat pictures be
, fore 4 p. ni., Saturday, March
6th.
Subscribers can help the
children in the contest by
asking for picture certifi
cates when they pay their
subscription. "We give a cer
tificate good for 100 pictures
for every dollar paid.
Payments should be made
to our authorized carrier or
agent, or nout direct to us
by mail.

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