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TILE OMAHA SUNDAY BEE: JUNE 6, 1915.
'THE OMAHA SUNDAY BEE FOUNDED BT EDWARD ROREWATKR. VICTOR ROSEWATER. EDITOR. Tha B Publishing Company. Proprietor. BEE BUILDING. FARNAM AND 8EYENTETENTH. ; Entered at Omaba poetofflce seoond-class msttar. TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION. 1T carrier Ry mall per month. per year. . rrr anfl Sunday o r!ir without !iiTK)r....' Fvenln and Sunday c ' Evening without Bunday I J.flO Sunday Be only 1 ? , Fend notlr of rban- of idres or eomplalnte of Irregularity In delivery to Omaha Ba. Circulation jlepertment. REMITTANCE. Remit hr draft express o- portal order. Only two rant poatr atampa received in payment of email ae roonta. Personal check, except on Omaha and caatarn eichange. not accepted. OFFICES. Omaha Tha Be" Riilldtns. outh Omaha 23111 N etreet. Council Bluff 14 North Main street. I.lnooln M Lltlla Building. Chicago Wl Hearwt RulMlng. New Tork-Room lies. & Fifth avenue. Pt. Louie oa.'ew bank of Commerce. Waehlifton i2t Fourteenth Bt.. N. W. CORRKSI'ONnENCB. Addreaa communication relating to new and edi torial matter to Omaha Bee, Editorial Ltopartment. MAY KCNUAY ClltCl liATlOX. ,46,903 gtat of Nebraska, County of Douglae, aa. : Cwlght Willieme, circulation nmn)rr, eeys that I tha average ftuoday circulation (or tha month of May, 1 IMS. waa ,(". DWIOHI WIIXIAMfl. Circulation Manager. Subscribed la my tTnc and aworn to be me, thia ad day of June, Mi. fore ROBERT HUNTER, Notary Public Sobaerlbera leaving the city temporarily should hay The) lie mailed to them. Ad dre will ba changed aa often aa requested. Jan Thought for the Day SUcfdk,J. W. CVarA "Liberty it ti flU.l opportunity for a man to b and do th very bit that ti possible for him."rhillii liro k$. Ready for Ak-Sar-Ben? All aboard! Tha 115 June bride crop la starting- oft fine. . v With all thi call for farm help, no excuse remains for tha ablebodJed panhandler on the street At any rate, those BOO Omaha inhabitants who Toted "No" on consolidation will not brag about It very long. The supremacy of Dame Fashion will not he fully vindicated until men axe brought to copy women's styles la shoe. The merger of the Omaha and South Omatia I MA.tfsffUa. whlxh waved the war nif DOW ba yU.lVt ft V U V . .V. - ' considered a closed Incident. The location of a transcontinental aviation station here glres assurance that all the high flyers will stop off in Omaha. 1 - If this bombardment of graduating essays and orations does not put the war lo rout, the belligerents will hare to fight it out to a finish In the trenchss. In spite of our Justly celebrated facilities for spreading the news, the shrlnksge In the price of flour has not yet announced Its arrival at tha bake shops. ' The fresaa-to-Ui -payroll officeholder who plants himself on the track In front of the train of progress takes a long chance on being ma over by the locomotive. What's this? More ugly rumors about framed-up damage suits in our courts T Now, who could have prompted any Innooent "client to such downright perjury T ' . !31 Eweet Is the music of prosperity wafted from the lute of Charley Schwab. Ke has the goods at Bethlehem and warring nations are shelling out for the shells. . The man with the garden hose can afford to be more generous with his lawn sprinkling now that the long promised 'steenth-of-a-cent water rate reduction has actually gone Into effect. i t The Illinois State Public Utilities commis sion has ruled that so Jitney, shall travel a route parallel and competing with a street railway line. Maybe that doesnt please the street rail-ways! The War and the Rainfall. Twenty-five years ago, when the west was overrun by "Rainmaker" Wright and his disci ples, one of the dogmas set up was thst bom barding the heavens would produce rain. In support of this It was cited thst the battles of the civil wsr were invariably followed by rain fall, and the greater the battle, the heavier the precipitation. Against this claim the scientists et up that no bombardment possible to man would disturb suufflclent atmosphere to produce even a slight rainfall, and that all storms that followed battles were but coincidental. The con troversy Is now likely to be renewed, for the co incidence Is again visible. It is a far cry from the plains of Galicia to the plains of Nebrsska, half way around the globe, but it Is a fact that the fall of Pnemysl was followed in Nebraska by rain of a torrential nature. Science will boo at the thought of connecting the two events, but the rain fell, Just the same, and the bombard ment of Przemysl was on a scale never before vndertaken. Two hundred thousand shells exploded in an hour by the attacking side alone, without counting the replying fire from the de fenders, makes a display of fireworks exceeding all previous experience. Thst certainly ought to set some waves of atmosphere In motion, even If it didn't reuse the deluge in central Nebraska. Dancing in the- Public Parks. One festure of the program of the new recreation board that deserves attention Is the provision for dancing in the public psrks. It hss been debated a little, and opposition has developed in some quarters, although the objec tions do not seem to be especially well founded or put forth with much seriousness of purpose. Dancing is a peculiar form of enjoyment, uni versally prsctlced, and common to all ages and all races. The movements and figures of the dance are expressive of the emotions, an indica tion of mental exaltation as well as bodily ani mation. Dancing has been In all times and among all peoples a recognised factor in all sorts of social functions, religious as well as secular, and it sttll has Us part in the religions of some tribes of men. That dancing in Itself Is inherently harmful has never been estab lished, but Its benefits are easily understood by any who may be Inclined to thoughtfully con sider the matter. Thousands of Omaha people, old and young, continually seek the pleasure of moving through formal figures, rythmlcally ad Justed to the measures of pleasing music, as a reasonable and desirable diversion. No good reason appears why dancing, under proper supervision, should not be permitted in publlo parks, while much csn be said In support of the proposition. Missouri Riyer Development. ' A report from the colonel of the United States Army engineering corps, in charge of the work on the Missouri river, adverse to the plan of making a survey of the river between Kansas City and Sioux City, Is to be vigorously opposed by the Omaha Commercial club. The reason given by the army engineer that the 120,000,000 needed for the construction work between Kan sas City and 8t. Louis had not been appropriated is not sufficient to warrant utter ignoring of the upper reaches of the river. It may be that no money will ever be set aside to make the im provements suggested, but that Is no reason why the needed preliminary steps should be neg lected. A comprehensive survey of the Mis souri should he made and definite and complete plans for Its Improvement to meet the needs of navigation worked out by the government engi neers. Whatever system of inland waterway navigation may eventually be adopted In the United States, the Missouri river must be reck oned on, and competent authority should deter mine what must be done to make It serviceable. Work of the Civio League. Omaha has lately been given several con crete Illustrations of the activity of a body of. enthusiastic citisens who have In mind the bet tering of conditions of life In this city. They are not cranks, nor advocates of the impossible. but are zealous men- and women, who have sane and definite notions, which are practically pre sented and as practically carried out. So far the Civic league, which now has a membership of about 4. 500, has dealt with the smaller things that have usually been neglected fa the rush to give attention to the larger. One of the practical manifestations of its usefulness was in the campaign against the dan delion. In this the boys sad girls were enlisted by the offering of suitable prises, and as a re sult some 28.000 bushels ?f the pest, torn up by the roots, were destroyed. The activity of the Garden club is under the general direction el the Civic league, and Us share In Improving tbe waste spots of the city is enough to Justify the existence of the league, If It did nothing else. The peony show, Just over, at which thou sands of magnificent blooms were exhibited. was another of the league's achievements. . o The lesfue hss many suggestions to offer for the beautifying of the city, all along practical l.oos, and it purposes an active campaign for keeping the city clean, which it hopes to make effective by such means as will accomplish the result without giving offense even to the rltlsen a bo iuey.be negligent and require admonition Civic pride and love of order aod beauty pro vide tbe Inspiration for the league, and Us officers are devoted to these ideals. Its work ht already been productive of good and it I romlaes much for tbe future- Ttit on National Preparedness. Between the alarms of militarists and tbe Insistent protests of pacificists there Is a vast middle ground on which, may stand the multi tude of Americans who , undoubtedly favor reasonable preparation for national defense. This ground is defined by William Howard Taft In the Saturday Evening Post. Mr. Taft Is not an alarmist nor a pacificist. though leaning more to the latter side if Inter national conditions afford promise of world peace. Ills experience as secretary of war and later as president give his discussion of ade quate preparedness the weight of authority. Tbrse lines of defense against invasion Mr. Taft regards as essential the navy, coast forti fications and a mobile array. An adequate navy, constituting the main line of defense, he would base on the naval program '. ot ltOS, which called for the building of two first-class battle ships a year, with the necessary complement of scout ships, destroyers and submarines. Had this program been followed the nation would have forty-eight battleships in 19 Is. The re fusal of past congresses to adhere to it leaves the navy at present five battleships behind. This deficit In defensive power, be contends, should be made up as quickly as possible, with such alteration ot naval plans as the lessons ot the European war teaches. Mr. Taft regards present national tortiflca tlons as adequate defense for their immediate localities. They are first-class in construction and caliber of guns, the latter requiring only changes In elevation to equal the range of the largest guns of modern navies. The urgent need in this line Is fortifications at all landing ports, and these could be had w'thout Increasing the national budget if the political logrollers of congress would permit the abandonment of use less navy yards. The third line of defense should, in his opinion, consist of a mobile army ot 71.000 effective men In the continental United States, exclusive of the artillery service, and the reserva system suggested by Secretary Garrison, these to be supplemented by doubling the capacity of West Point and the establishment of a military school in the middle west. Mr. Taft's suggestions for adequate prepar edness are conservative and must commend themselves to cltlsens aa signpost of the safe middle course. No more fitting place tor curing heartaches could be chosen than the Douglas county court house. The surroundings are impressive, the court rooms imposing, and the age and exper ence of the Judges in soothing palpitation, makes It an Ideal sanitarium r TxcTom aonviTia WHILE the achievement of any big thins afforda glory enough to so round, we may aa well have the hlMory of thla Greater Omaha movement atralahtened out before It sets too badly twisted, outh Omaha Omaha waa laid out aa a townalte by Omaha people who had not tha ellshteat notion of eatabtlfhlns a separate city except for development purpoeea, end the abaolute neceaalty of anneiatlon wo a clearly foreseen years ago. How the consolidation movement took Ita Inspiration and secured Its momen tum la clearly recalled by a latter I have Juet received from Attorney E. F. M or arty, who has a good mem ory, and who aaya: "Now that the people have voted for annexation by an overwhelming majority, and realtxtng the great benefit that will cccrue by reaaon of auch a de cision. It might be well to take a retrospective view of the past that we may be able and willing to glvo credit to the one, or ones, moat deaarvlng of such, for having brought about final annexation. Not wlahlnr to detract from the Commercial club or Mr. Diets any of tha credit due to both, yet I feel that I can frankly and truthfully state that to no higher or greater source can be traced the original and steadfaat champion of annexation than to the lata Edward Roewater, founder and 4a then editor at The Bee. "Whlle my personal and political relationship with this great man wre not at all tiraea of tha moat friendly nature, yet It waa at hie urgent request that, twenty-five year ago, aa a member of the Omaha olty council. I prepared and Introduced a resolution In that body which called for an election in tha city oX Omaha for the purpose of annexing th two cit e, that of Omaha and South Omaha; thla resolution, having the unanimous support of the council, waa paared; following thla. Mr. Roaewater and myeelf proceeded to South Omaha, where we secured like action on th part of the South Omaha olty council, the election waa held, and Omaha voted almost unanimously for the proposition, a majority of tha voters of South Omaha voted for It, but In the count of the ballots, and by the free and eaay system of handling the ballots aa obtained at that time, the ballot box had bean manipulated by a few disreputable ward heelers and tha return were made to show that tha proposition waa defeated by leaa than 100 votea. "Yet smdtacouraged and undaunted, 'the paper which he UMlahed. Inoeaaantly In season and out of season, sad at time without aid or assistance from any source, persisted In the fight, until victory finally perched where it justly belongs. In the edi torial aanotum of The Bee." As here Intimated, it waa plain all the time that consolidation wma eventually Inevitable aa a step In th upbuilding of Greater Omaha, and that the longer It was deferred the more costly It would be to all con-eerneO-whloh will soon be mora fully realised by many people, who wUl then wonder why . they did not wake up to the fact and help put It over long before. Members of tha Rotary clvb were not long ago asked for opinions aa to what that organisation could and should do to supplement Its activities and make itself more useful to the community. It had already joined in promoting the garden rontent, and had held out a helping hand to local charitable Institution. I' gave President Welter a suggestion for a more con centrated effort for beautifying the city. XV have a fine example of Individual Initiative In what la knovn as "Tha Prettiest Mile" out on the north boulevard, and I believe that with properly directed energy aa equally magnificent showing could be made by taking a stretch of tha Lincoln Highway going through th residence districts of Omaha and out through the suburbs, and providing? for Its uniform treatment from tha standpoint of landacape gardening. This would have to btf brought about by associating for the pur pose the owner of the abutting property with a measure of assistance from the city authorities and Interested civio bodies. The merchants of the "600" blook Inaugurated an enterprise of thla kind along business line by contributing a common fund for ornamental Illumination and street cleaning, and In the same way tmiah better results eould be scoured for embellishing yards, putting In flower and shrub bery, matching op shad tree In parkway and keep ing Itwnt In trim, by having th work dona under a single supervisor directing a orew of gardener than by each person looking after hie own premises In tils own way and at hi own time. Tbe chief obstacles always met with hr in Omaha in any plan of city beautifying have eome from the vacant Iota, and from the occasional moss- back who will not do anything himself nor help anr on elae do It. In any auch schema, therefor, It must be expected that some who ought to do their shares will either wantonly refute or have perhaps some legitimate exouae for .holding" back. This is where the publla authorities and outside asslatano would be necessary to carry the project through. The city could furnish' th superintendence, and th improve ment clubs or business leagues could par the assess ment for the vacant lot; th Rotary elub eouid put In a flower bed wheal, th Elks a B. P. O. B. clock, Ak-SarBen a replloa of Its current years' Insignia, etc. at tha conspicuous points; and being an tha ma'n highway of auto touriat travel, evaryon would aea th exhibit, and tha talk about It would apread ever th country, Th plan certainly I feaatbl, although It mar be to lata tor practical execution this year. The time Is ocminr In fact, 1 already bare when we must consider tha lasting effect ot the first m praealoa which our city makes on th stranger, and must takai advantage of th wonderful opportunities supplied to u by the natural beauty of Omaha's topography. Tbe latest old.tlrnr to pass away Is John Grant, although In length ot time here he was net In th eame elaas with th pioneer, dating hi reetdenc back only to th erly 'iff a. To uaa aa expressive phrase, John Orant was "a good, old scout" a staunch sad loyal friend who could be depended upon to do a he said h would. H had eome to Omaha orig inally to attpertntentl th first bit of asphalt pave ment ever laid here It waa oa Douglas. I think, be tween Thirteenth and Sixteenth Street-and nearly every man. wemaa and child In the town was a con stant Inapeotor on th job. It was John Grant wh? Introduced tha first steam-roller that ever put In it apnearanos In thee parts, and. when th aurfao waa completed It was throw open to the youngatar for blcycl riding and roller skating, and for weeks thoa two or three blocks of pavement formed the most popular pleasure resort In the burg, vntn in last few year John Orant used to celebrate "h' birth- day annually by giving a party at hi houaa to his friend ataa of course Including putMO oniciai. Orand Army of th Republic eomrad. personal frtanda and Masonlo brothers, unique as aa elaborate feeet. and for the scintillating humor and good fellow ship. John Orant was always boosting other popi Into office, ir nvr held any offlo hlmaelf except to fill a vacancy In the aounty eommiaelonarahtp. for accepting which ba waa profuse In his apologia. As county oomrolaaloner h renaerea tonscisouoiu aerv- to, although evea then he waa beginning to grow feeble. ' XT mmml eM MAM Th demands of Omaha tor a new cemetery are to he met by the roreei Lawn Cemetery eaaoctatloa, re cently incorporated. The it for th propoaea puriai around has been selected and purchsaed from J. U. brackln as truatea, Conalatlng of W sores, almoat im mediately west of the town of Florence and Just four mile from th pcatolflc. Lord Thomas Hatkset, Senator Sharoa's English soa-ln-law, accompanied by his wlf and chUdreo, paaaed through Omaha la a special car en their way t Van Francisco. Tbe marrlag of M. J. Doane of Boston and Stlae LUU Dort took place at the raaldenoe of the bride's parents. p.v. W. J. Haraha officiating. Drake O' Riley. Richard O Riley and Harry Meet-as started oa a tnre month' vlatt t Europe. Mis Elisabeth Poppleton left for the east to attend the annual meeting of tha Vaaaar aluiaaaa. Dr. O. X. Crowe!! U back from a trip t Philadel phia TABLOIDS OF SCTXXCE. Oval water pipe are lee liable to burst when frown tha round one. Ther I potash enough for the United Plates In the kelp bed of the Pacific roast ot Alaska and the coast state a According to an EnglUh oculist, diges tive troubles hav an important affect en disease of th eye, whil eye weak nesses hav but little effect upon diges tion. Standard clock In th Paris nbaerva tory are kept ninety feet under ground, where the variation In temperature has been leaa than one degree In several year. Scientists hav established th age of a pine tree In New Zealand at LS00 years. The farther the waters of tbe oceans get from the equator the l aalt they contain. According to a French authority per fect linoleum hae twice the wearing qual ities of tiling and mom than four times those of hardwood floors. Leading chemists believe that tlie war may shift th drug manufacturing center to this country. The raw materials are plentiful, but synthetic skill Is call to be lacking. Vanillin la the active principle which make vanilla lea cream so popular. It occurs In the roots of oats and the leaves and root of a number of plants. II baa been found to ba polaorou to clover, wheat, cowpeas and otlisr plants. OUT OF THE ORDINARY. Hindoos venerate the common marigold and frequently adorn their idol with wreaths of It golden flowers. Th United States Hay Fever associa tion for more than forty years has held an annual meeting at Bethlehem. N. H., In August, Bethlehem being out of tha sneese sons. Hick Colgan, the famous wolf catcher who lives near Atohtson, Kan., ha cap tured a total of T2S wolve. 11 receive a bounty of S5 for gray wolves and 11 for coyotes. Since the first of this year be has captured thirty-nine. A house at Stratford, Conn., is prob ably to ba demolished because of the noise made by alleged ghostly vitltaat. The house dates back to revolutionary time. Cannon balls rolling downstairs are heard and also th swish of skirts snd click of military heel. A meteor which fell a few day ago In front of th home of Charle Solraon, who live near Prescott, Mich., went to an unknown depth and water came up to the surface In tha hoi It -made, although Solmon had been unable to strlk water at a depth of eighty feet The close connection between Cupid and the culinary art wa Illustrated by three marital suit lately In New Jersey, on woman leaving her hushand because ha refused to give her turkey at New Tear's, a husband accusing hi wife of monotony In th menu of kidney stew, while still another complained that his wife cooked his pork chops in soap. Dr. Ivory Low ot Canaan, Me., th oldest physiolan in Somerset county, is using a wagon which has been In use continuously for torty-tiv years, ur. Lowe ays the wagon ha mad on an average of twenty miles each day for forty-five years, thus making the wagon's total trip about t,00o mile. It still has its original wheels and Its original tires. SIGNPOSTS OT PROGRESS. ' Montreal hss the largest flour mill In the British empire; It turn out 6,000 bapj rels a day, Th war hsa been responsible for th establishment of the first successful barium Industry in th United State. The first factory in the United State for the manufacture of bensol from coal will b atabbahed In Pennsylvania, Halt for commercial purpose Is being extracted from ses water on an exten sive seals by a plant in eouthara Cali fornia. It has beaa estimated that nearly 100,- 000.000 feat, or more than St.OOO mile, of film are used up yearly to satisfy th world's demand for moving picture. In th twalv month ended April SO, ther were 177 merchant vassal built snd officially numbered In the United State. Th gross tonnage of these ships wss Up te Mar 1. 142 foreign built veawele of t09.70 groae tons, valued at 132, 000,000, hav been reglatered under th American flag to angage In foreign trad, under th act ef August II last. For Ugnt duty on of th largest loco motive worke In the United States is turning cut a looomatlv that resembles th coal burning typ tn outline, but Is driven by aa internal combustion engine with ell or gaaollna fuel. (t Is estimated that W par cant ef the LTCO.O0O automobiles la ua la th United Stat are owned by farmer, and th percentage la tnorastn each year. It la estimated that th par cant ef th IS It output will go to the farming communi ties. New Jersey has bean materially lro pravlng lie housing eondlUona through Ita board of tenement house supervlalun. Th law creating this board has been la operation tan year. During this time 11.US "new law" tenement hav been built. AROUND THE CITIES. Topeka threatens to ls th local peat efftc for taa. Rocking th boatt Kansas City reports nine mysterious disappearances ef women since April t New Orleans reports that 70,000 build ings in the city, one-halt et the total have been made rat proof. New York bss just paid ITtie.aSl for fifty-six acres of land condemned to form a part ef East River park In Astoria. Salt Lake City authoritiee turned down alt th bid for 1300.000 of city bonds be reuee th bt bid ottered, with com mlsaton deducted, ran th Price below Pr- ' , . Chicago's health department bints to undertaker that advertising their "wear ing apparel" as "fashionable drea aults" Is a grave breaoh of professional pro priety. . fct Louis has losf condone ta th boosting value of a directory census. The latest roster of resident eatlmate th population at itt.100, a come-down of 1.100 from last year. Sioux City put up a lone pull and a strong pull for population and pulled the census total up to U.7XT when the polls cloeei jua 1. It is believed non ef th Sioux tribe eaeaped the bustler. Comparing eeadttions in Brooklyn new with thoa of t'nty-fi year ago. wbea annexation took place, th Brooklyn Eagi show th tax rata, on th ratio of value, la unchanged, while the popula tion has grows 141 par cant and its) death rate dropped from a 17 to H i per 1.000, . SECULAR SHOTS AT PULPIT. Detroit Frr Press: A Pennsylvania clergyman who died recently at th sg of II had married l.OM couple, dot: that should not be held against him. Brooklyn Eagle: Dr. Charles II. Park hurst, censured by th Presbyterian gen eral assembly for an antl-prohlMtlon Tet ter to a friend In California, can sym pathise with I'nlon seminary. Minieterial liberty and academic- liberty hav much in common. ' Springfield Republican: A touch of in humanity make the rt ef the world kin. The American Jelh committee notes' that th persecution of the Jew ha entirely ceased In Palestine and that the great sufferers there at present are the Roman Catholic religious order. Th Turks, however, have long been more friendly to the Jew than to th various sects ot Christians. St. Louis Republic: Th revival ot th rid fashion of street preaching, accom plished by the Church Federation of EL Louis, will head off a great deal of more cr less aimless and hopeless talk about the weakness of the modern church In "reaching" men. The way to reach men la aimpllcjlty Itself; it is to go where they are. That's the way any other sort of live animal Is reached. Boaton Tranecr1.pt: With forceful enlty ot deelalon the Unitarians, now In eon ventlon in Boston, have determined te stand by their time-honored name. Ther have known that the liberal spirit could not be harmed by a Word apparently narrow In what It denotes yet truly, broad In what actual practice has made It to signify.- Retaining all the values which past association and tradition have built round the name, the Unitariane have surely net lessened its worth for tha future. "MADE IN V. S. A." Washington Post: When Henry Slen kiewlcs refers to . this country as ths "conscience ef the world," It's eneugh to make us shell out in a new and better wty: Pittsburgh Dispatch: The president ad vise his countryman in these troublous war tiro to sit tight, and think hard, and not talk. Marked copies, please,- to our distinguished fellow cltlsens, the con queror at Syracuse and the spellbinder ot the Chautauqua platform. St Louis Globe-Democrat: Rather dis concerting truth has come out that' tbe eulogy of tha kaiser in his youth which appears in the speller used In the pubUal schools of Chicago was written by Mrs. Ella Flagg Young herself, though seme years age before the present war waa thought of; the kalaer Is the only in dividual singled out for praise. Now It stirs Bohemian. Peliah. Serbian, French and Italian parents te pretests. Isn't this neutrality business a caution? Washington Post: The money t the world will flow by hundred of million of dollar thl year into the pocket et the farmers of the United States, snd with our great manufacturing plants snd this assured huge foretga demand the billion-dollar balance of trade be Shown at th close of the fiscal year, June 80, 1915, should have another billion added to It by the close of the next year, bfever In the history ef the United State were ther In evidence uch convincing proofs of record-breaking business along all lmes. r ' - 1 . . DOMESTIC PLEASANTRIES, "My d.iushter l having her vole trained," said Mr. Cumrox. "Is she a soprano or a contre.itoT' "1 dunno. J f"ipl ose ah I d"clde ti be whichever coata the moat. ishtng- ton irtar. 'That match wa the union of natural mates." In what way?" Bhe waa dove-eyed and ha was pigeon toed." Baltimore American. Bhe So. Mr. Jimoeon. I'm sorry! but I wouldn't marry the best man living He-No? Well, at any rate, you will have the aatlafactlon ot knowing that he offered himself. Boston Globe. "That stupid assistant of mine loat m a good cuetomer." . "How hm thst?" 'He saw by the paper that she wa receiving yesterday, so h took that op portunity to deliver a couple of case of beer." Loulsvlli Courier-Journal. "When water becomea Ice," asked the teacher, "what la the great change that takes place?" "The greateat charge, ma am," said the little boy. "la the change in price." Ladles' Home Journal. Flatbuah I waa out shopping with mr wife yesterday and I lost her in the crowd. . , Benaonhurst You were lucky. "No. I wasn't She found me. Tonk era Statesman. "Had a most enjoyable time at the den tist's this afternoon." "Kh! . Enjoyable?" .... "l'ee. When I went In. another deatlsi was filling my dentists teeth.' Ham mere Am?rt'.'an. "Thla scientist undertakes to prev that Helen of Troy had a flat no." And 1 hop ho proves it. Folks ysp about Helen of Troy like there has t been a pretty woman since." Chicago Post. Mother what kind of a shew did para take you to see while you were in the city Hobhlr It waa a dandy show, mamma. wRh ladies dressed In stockings clean up to their neck. Puck. WHAT PA DOESN'T KNOW. Eda-ar A Guest, in Detroit Free Press. Sometimes when folka come in to rail on Ma an' Pa' away, An' I'm supposed to be where I can t hear a word they soy. Ma starts to tell 'em all about Pa a fine an' splendid ways, An' Juet how good an' kind he Is, sn sll th Jokes he playa; An' how he never glvea her any reaaon for complaint. Until she has the women folka believta' Pa's a saint ,,,, , j Pa's Just an ordinary man be tells u so himself, He has to work all day te get bis little bit of pe4f. He Isn't one that's known to fame, he can't do clever things. He isn't one that makes a speech, or out In public slnss. But Ma Just makea him vut te be a man the world would cheer If it could know the worth of him when, he's not there te hear. When Pa's away Ma tells her friend how much of him ah thlnka, An' Just how good It ie to have a man that never drink. 8 he dwells upon his thoughtful way, hi patience an' hi worth, Aa' boanta that ahe Is married to th finest man en earth. Sut If Pa ran t home on time, an' sup per ha t wait Sh give it tu him. vood an' strong, for gettla' In so late. Sometime when Ma I scolding Pa, an' he don't say a word, I feel like telinr him the things that Ma don't know I've heard. I feel like crswlin1 In his lap. an' whla- perln', "Never mis.l," Deep In her heart Ma really thinks you re all that'a. good an' kind. She thinks that you're tbe finest man there Is oa earth. 1 knew Because most every afternoon she. tells the neighbors so." 33 xcursion Fares East VIA Illinois Gonrinl H. ti. Choice of circuitous and direct routes to New York and Boston. Attractive routes to all Eastern Resorte. Optional Ocean, Lake and River Trips Liberal Stopovers Let Us Assist in Planning Trip Affording Visit at Prin cipal Cities and Summer Resorts in the East Long and Short limit Tickets on Sale Daily. Information and Attractive Literature freely furnished. S. NORTH, District Passenger Agent Phone Douglas 264. ; 4Q7 South 16th St., Omaha Neb. No Homo Is Complete Without a Victrola or Grafonola 90 This Grafonola Outfit for 678, Grafonola Leader Outfit, in cluding twelve selections (six 10. Inch double records) your own selection. Choice of Oaks, Walnut or Ma hogany cases. Q70.90 Terms $5.00 per month Other styles $15.00 to $300 Your Is sureiy among them, t'ooie In and select it. W wlU bo glad to 1 sri I at rt -f m satl a"i f Haena your approval. LEADER F1EE CSXCHTS II 031 10313-fIOOF BOOTHS Sclimollcr & HucHcr Piano Co. 1311-13 Farnam Street Tha Only Store ta Omaha Where You Cats Hear VlctroU and QratonoU Bid by Bid. i r tss f.