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The Omaha Sunday Bee
Comb Honey j J i By EDWARD BLACK. Spring. Thil month marks the advent of another spring. The official opening day of the new vernal season it scheduled for thil eek. All aigna portend an auspicious openinj, with a full line of spring poetry, new frocks and bonnets and other things to make love's new year worth re membering. By common consent spring is fem inine. The usual picturization of spring shows a young woman tripping blithly into the scenery, with Old Man Winter fading into the background. She carries an armful of flowers and does not seem -to be purturbed over the H. C. of L. or the changing styles of skirts. Here is evidence to show that spring is feminine: ' Joe Egan wrote: ... 'Along the ledges of the sky the i Spring Shakes out the cloud-fold of her gown Kni sends the rustling raindrops hur . tling down." John Burroughs: "Oh. Spring is surely coming, Her couriers fill the air. t 1 scent her fragrant garments; Her foot is on the stair." . Spring is said to he the open sra- s hi for Daniel Cupid. It b a season of sentiment, of housedcaning and of the resumption of the back-fence news service. Yes, spring is the gladsome season, when nature awakens and the world is blithe and gay. It is the time when the modest little violet raises its pur ple eyes to grce: the new-born sea son. The river breaks up, the apothe cary displays sassafras in his window and the coal man passes the ultimate consumer over to the ice man. Clean from Omaha. v . .. A current joke is: "I came clean from Lincoln," or "I came clean from Sioux City" or some other place. If present activities in Omaha are not disturbed it will be passible some' of these davs to say, "I came clean from Omaha.'" The Gate City is in the l ands of the cleaners. . Between the health commissioner, superintend ent of police department, sheriff, Boy Scouts, Woman's club and a few more agencies for, that which is next to god liness Omaha will be a spotless city before April showers . bring May flowers. It is significant, or at least interesting, to note that Superintend ent Kugel of the police department, who is doing a little cleaning-up just ii3w. was in charge of the street clean ing department before he took charge of the police department. Which Makes the Better Impression? A small woman with a 'large voice or a large woman with a small voice? Doc Connell v . Has not applied for membership' in the Prairie Park club. 4.1 Kugel Sayr,: "Ask Dempsey' or Steve Maloney r Patsy Havey.", Compensatory. The ocean may have its undersea raiders, but Omaha has its underworld raiders. . The Flight of Time ' ( We quote another extract from the safety first rules and suggestions is sued by the department of police, san itation and puplic safety: "Don't be too eager to pull ou: your watch and give the time of day to everybody who asks for it. That's n good opportunity for someone to gtab It and run." H"- , , , 1 Now that hogs are soaring ar.oumt : Ev erbo JyTias a Hobly ! Tom Flynn, United States marshal, has attended more funerals and wakes than any other Omahan. He was In 1 active politics for many years before Uncle Sam called him to his present position. He cultivated many friend ships and acquaintances and was re garded as "the little father," . For many years a wake was not success ful if Tom Flynn was not among those present. Even in his present days of high official position he has nut given up his hobby.' It is re called that some years ago a wake was held without Tom Flynn and that occasioned such comment that a newspaper made note of the incident. He has a collection of clay pipes which he has smoked at wakes. . "What is your hobby?" was asked of S. A. Searle. He replied, "Good toads." Mr. Searle has been interest oil. in good roads for a period of years. He studies the automobile routes and knows every strip of good road and bad road in the state. He knows the Lincoln highway, the O. L. D.. the rivtr-to-river road and all of the main highways- over which gasoline-pro-pulled vehicles are driven. If there is. any good road agitation within hundred miles of Omaha he is there. He attends every good road meeting nrli! in Omaha. He has faith in good ''- ana reads everythmh he can i.tt on this .uhject. He has some uracucal ideas on the jubject of road OMAHA, SUNDAY MORNING, MARCH (Jrote History of Omak Allflie rath an3 upWh Uiafe.frf lo kiow By A. R. GROH. Chapter VI. Blackbird. Our history now takes up the great chief of the Omaha Indians, Black bird. Blackbird loved thewhites. When ever the traders would come up the river he would go out to meet them and rummage around in their boats and help himself to anything he wanted, blankets and beads and paint and whisky. , . After drinking four or five bottles of whisky he would be taken back to his wigwam and the whites would trade with the other Indians, giving them about a nickel's worth of beads for a fine bear skin and otherwise making up for what the great chief had taken. He was much loved for this reason by the whites, as is shown in t memorial parchment presented to him by the Spaniards. Von can read this in the public library. (See foot note.) He wasTTtreat admirer of the fair sex and married members of that sex frequently. While this was consid- CHItP BLACKBIRD TAKE.TH ered a great honor among the women, they had to behave themselves be cause he had a terrible temper. Once he got peeved at his favor ite wife and just jumped up and stuck his knife through her heart. Immediately he was sorry he had done it, for she was able to cook buf falo steaks in a certain way that he liked them and none of his other wives could cook them that way. He sat down beside her body and mourned for three days without eat ing a thing. The people didn't at tempt to arrest him or anything. All they wanted was for him to get back into a good humor again. Finally they brought a little pap- fioose'fsee foot note) and laid it in ront f him. This roused him from his Sorrow. So he kicked the child out of his way and ordered a big pot of antelope soup cooked. After he had eaten that he felt all right again and married another wife. . , Once the Foncas were at war with the Omahas. : Tbey were having a battle and the Foncas were getting the worst of it. So the Ponca chief dressed his beautiful daughter all up In beads and wampum and sent her over, toward the Omahas. Blackbird ' . CHI tF BLACKBIRD, WAS AMUCHLY.MARRIEDMAN the $15 mar, it is time to revise the derogation, "Ham actor." Eggs. It one belligerent would call an other "A hard boiled egg" the court house embroglio would reach the "pin nacle of puissant phraseology. George Parks 'I Threatens to get into the cleau-up game, May 1. .Speaking about the first of May. building and it is his hobby, too, be cause his rcsular work is the rjrattir.e of law. , Secretary Frank G. Odell nf the Omaha Federal Farm Loan Board has more hobbies than he has Aimers and tors. . His hobbv is to have a In- nf hnh. bies. One of his hobbies is memorising statistics. Another of his hobbies is to pour out these statistics in parlia mentary debate in an agricultural convention, or a "political convutiom he doesn't care much which. Odell just can't help filling his head with statistics. In the words of Oli ver Wendell Holmes, "His head is an ant hill of units and tens." No, he can't help it. They come easily to him. He just reads them and they bury themselves in the gcooves of his brain, from which recessei they bound at his slightest bidding, and marshal themselves Into line for his argu ments. It has been said that he knows the name and postoffice address of every Chinaman in Asia, but this is prob ably a mere opinion of some one of his over-enthusiastic worshippers. . Just for pastime he recently wrote and .published a survey of the- rural telephone systems in EtVronc. Of course, he filled it full of everything in the line of figures, from dates to the number of 'phones in Riven cities 18, 1917. ordered the firing stopped and made peace and married the girl. Blackbird refused plenty of good offers to travel with a wild west show. Tfte noble chieftain considered this beneath his dignity. The white men gave him some arsenic and told him how to use it. After that Blackbird's enemies used to die by the wholesale just after he had sent them presents of meat. He was a jolly old soul. In his old age he gofso fat that he couldn't walk and had to be car ried around. This is not remarkable when we remember that he was al ways a big eater and did not take much exercise. . ' - Finally an epidemic of smallpox struck the tribe and Blackbird got it Before he diM he gave directions for his funeral. His dead body was placed sitting on his favorite horse, a big white animal or steed, on top of a high hill north of Omaha with a good view of the river. They put his bow in his hand and gave him plenty of dried meat and tobacco. For the simple red men be lieved that the spirit needed these ONLY 23, S2 MOM SHOPPING DAYS BEFORE MAY I, 1917 AVOIRDUPOIS things on its journey to the "happy hunting grounds." , Then the warrior brought tufts of sod and placed them around the horse's feet and legs and body, till finally the horse and chief were all covered up. He was not allowed to rest here. For some years later a Mr. Catlin came there and got his skull, which he took to Washington,! and Blackbird's skull is now in the National Mu seum. Travelers often stop there to see it. The Baltimore & Ohio allows ten days' stop-over in Washington on all through tickets. " Footnote! Title of the book Is "Bl Baron do Carondalet Caballero do la, Religion do San Juan, Mar. da Campo da lea Realea Kaeroltoa Oobernador Oenerat Vloe-Patrono da las- Provenolaa." Foot not: "Pappooae"- Indian name, meaning baby. Questions on Chapter VI. 1. Was Blackbird married? ; 2. What kind of a temper did he have? 3. Why did he refuse to travel with show? . . 4. Why did the simple red men of the plains place dried meat and to bacco at Blackbirds graver will there be much "dry" cleaning in Omaha after that date? - t , , A Query...'.. Waldemar Michaelsen wants to know whether it woufo) be proper to refer to the plant of the Omaha Elec tric Light and Power company as "the light-house?" :s Successful. Careful Observer I understand that Perkins made a fortune in auto mobile headlights., Oldest Inhabitant Yes, he made a signal success. 0VX5 and rural districts, and the number of seconds it takes central in Petro grad to connect you after you give her a number, tie published in this book almost every hgure of which mathematics is capable, except per haps the kaiser's telephone number, which the censor clipped, , . . Good horses are the hobby of Frank A. Wellman, live stock com mission man. Though he has owned two big automobiles, he has never en tirely dispensed, with his ' horses. Though he drives his car to the stock yards every day and lias no use for the horses, he keeps no less than three blooded horses all the time. . .5 No, Wetlman is not a race horse man. He does not track hrs horses. He simply keeps -them to look at, to train, to fondle, and to drive, up and down the boulevard occasionally in the evening just to remind him of the good old days before the steering wheel wis substituted for i taught pair of reins. His garage at his home. 2302 South Thirty-third street, is a combination farase and barn, one compartment or the car and accessories, one for the three horses, and one for two bug gies, a cutter and a sulky. Sometimes when he h too busy selling high-priced hogs on the South Omaha market, he has to hire a man lo exercise the horses, hut he pr-fcrs ON lAlftet? teaching vuo Dusmess, ana inen ped; ittto 7 . By A. EDWIN LONG. A great fire in a city not only makes room for bright, new buildings, but it may sometimes bring bright, new, energetic business men to a city.- A great fire in Omaha in the early '90's brought C. M., Wilhelm here all the way from New York City. Oh, no, he did- not come here to fight the fire. It was well out before he got here. He did not come as fast as all that; but nevertheless it was because he read in a New York paper that Omaha had had a great fire that he came here at all. ' Wilhelm's youthful ambition . was to be a college professor. During the long sunny days while he angled for eel on" the banks of the creek onfhe old farm near Dansville, N. Y., he pic tured himself in the dim future, frowning' over his spectacles at a class of freshmen, and glibly acclaim ing that the square of the hypotenuse of a right angle triangle is 'equal to the sum of the squares of the other two sides; or cogently cogitating over cosines. Also, he hoped to air his knowledge of the biological theory of recapitulation and to develop the Weismann doctrine that acquired characteristics are not hereditary. About that time the eel would Swallow the hook and begin to thresh the water into spray, and the lad would-be yanked out of the dream into the realm of the practical busi ness of skinning eels. , Again his : professorial dreams would be ripped asunder when his father made him dig potatoes or hoc the foxtail out of the cabbage patch. In the country -school, which he attended until he was 12, he could do the Dutch roll on the ice; he could oounce uoon his dinky sled and steer has way -down the longest hazelbrushi hill, or swim the biggest turtle pond in the township. At 12 years he entered the town school at Lima, N Y., where he stayed for five years. Here the col lege professorial ambition flamed again once or twice, but flamed weaker and weaker, until it flickered and died out. The young man soon became small -stockholder in a large New York rug and carpet house. He sold rugs and carpets and learned the bus iness well, long before his wildest td go to this expense rather than to sell them, for he likes to talk to in telligent horses, and he savs an auto mobile hasn t much sense after all in a conversational way. Clipping newspaper stories which deal of the activities of the police de partment is the hobby of Chief of De tectives Maloney. The, chief has been cutting out and saving stories for nearly seven years and at the present time has his desk nearly full. Some daythe chief plans to sort all the clip pings and paste them in a scrap book, that is if he can get a scrap book large enough to hold them. - Edson P. Rich, general attorney for the Union Pacific, had dreams in his childhood which still bob up now and then. When he was verrvoung. indeed, his greatest desire was an out door lite, such as is led by a hunter, trapper or fisherman. And twenty years' contact with the world has not fully snuffed out these desires. One day this last week he gazed out of lli windows of his office on the eleventh floor of the Union Pacific building. It was one of those sun shiny, springy, days which cause boys to play hooky trom school. f'This is no place for me," hesail' aloud. 1 d like to be ont west hunt ing and fishing for Some hotel or something, That s the life. mafia dan dreams of itfi supped into Otttaka . 4 X2 nightmare ever drove his thoughts to tar-away umana. Still.: he knew one Omaha man That was"" Mr. Orchard. Mr. Orchard was conducting a rug and carpet store in the old Continental building at Fifteenth and Douglas, streets, where the second. Continental block recently burned. This corner has been famous for fires. . In December, 1892, the old building burned, and with it went the Orchard place, with the stock. Reading a New York paper at breakfast, Mr. Wilhelm saw an ac count of the fire and of the loss sus tained by Mr. Orchard. As he kaew Orchard in a business way, he wrote him a letter of sympathy that vary day. . In Mr. Orchard's reply some hint was dropped that indicated he might not again engage in the business in So Many Clever May-Day Toasts -Sent'-Wy In We Just Have to rnnt The Ten Prize Winners : i.. . -. By W. T. Ager, Lincoln. Backward, turn backward, Oh Time, in your flight, ' Give us a Manhattan Just (or tonight. . I am to tired of water and such. Throw in the clutch, brother, Throw in the clutch I , ' II. By George Distelhorst, Omaha. Here it to the "Drys" in Nebraska Who have banished all kinds of "booze I" The knocked the "L" out of liquor, - And added that 'ell to the blues. III.- By L. M. Westbrook, Omaha. Here'i to you, Nebraska, ' - You've gone bone dry today, . ' We drink your health in water (There is no other way). - : Your ideals are the highest, - But we've got an awful thirst, " It would have been much kinder t i If you'd chloroformed ut first. ' , IV.- By F. JC. Wilcox, Omaha. . Nebraska's dry! Last night the cur tain fell On old man Booze. He's gone to hell The home designed for him. Let's smile. . We'll get used, to water in a little while. , .i If you don't like water, and think 'what's the use?" -Them follow Bryan and drink grape juice. i .y. - - '- By C C. Bump, Council Bluffs. Here's to pure and sparkling water! Do not hesitate to trust it. Though you've an iron constitution, Have jjo fear that water'll rust it. vr 1 ' -By E. W. Huse, Wayne. Neb."'1 Gentlemen, let's drink to Aquarius Some of Ice water 'tis to thee, I Pure drink of clarity, I Of thee we drink; Let Mayor Jim partake, Savidge and Kugel, too. . On this May first. , Here's to prohibition! . Here s to a bone-dry state! Here's to the man who will drink ice , water, 1 Without having to hesitate! ; ' r As this is the. strongest we get to- I will now baptize the man at my .-. right. .. Oh! give to me the pure cold water! Fill the glass up to the brim, For water is a splendid thing ' When a fellow wants to swim. Come folks laugh, white others cry. Because our city was voted dry. But I, for one, longed for May the first, When we'd use ice water to quench our thirst. So here's to Omaha the pride of the westi She is second to none in the great Fellow' members of ', the fRusty Shovel." I now propose a toast to the memory of that well known acjor. John Barleycomr Uver the Hills to the i'oorhouse, the play immor- talized by him, will no longer charnrj school me sup 4 C.'M.Witltetttt Omaha. The keen mind of young Wilhelm perceived that Omaha might be a good location tor a new rug and carpet house. Wilhelm rode the next Pullman car to Omaha to look over the'field. ' By the time he had conferred with Or-, chard a little he decided to start in the business here in connection with Mr. Orchard. and help depose thaj old tyrant. King Boof . - Pick up your glass of water, you old fellow, to my right, and lift the corners of your mouth, dissipate your frown of resentment and join in spirit and fact this happy band of gastronomic recohstructionists. ,;.v- VII., .'-;:.',.;. i By Mrs. W. H. Crary, Omaha. . ; Here's to the good old Missouri That washes our dry state shore; For after May first ' It will quench the thirst Of those who drank liquor before. VIII. By'A. H. Landdeck, Omaha., , Here's to dear old Omaha, Our city so splendid and nice,; Which has scoured up the lit old pitcher ' . ; " And marked it "Pure Water . and Ice." die Other Remarkably Good the masses. His demise was timely may his former habitation knowihim no more. . ; Here's to bone dry Omaha after May 1st! But, thank goodness , that everybody is allowed to drink .our products which will simply force us into prosperity! May the . Missouri river never go dry nor the iceman suffer from heat! ' ' ' 7 If I should " die tonight and !you should come to my cold form with a mint toddy and should say, "Here's to you!" and if I don't rise and drink, then bury me I'm dead. Here's to champagne, the drink divine, That makes us target our troubles! It contains one dollar's worth of wine .nd.two dollars' worth ofsbubbles. Here's to water that quenches the thirst! " ' 1 You'll find it in plenty after May the first. - -", Ashes to ashes, . Dust to dustl '., Since champagne hasn't killed us, Ice water roust. , ' Drink to the day, boys! Toast it in nature's own, once the friendly "chaser," which while offering but lit tle of nood cheer, vet contains noth ing more harmful than the little germs of typhoid. Close your eyes and drink her down, boys, with resigna tion of spirit and a pleasant face. y ) That ws in 1893.' That is how.thsS firm of Orchard & Wilhelm was born, after Mr: Orchard had suffered a dis astrous fire, and after the Wilhelm yearning for the life of a college pro fessor had yearned - itself - into burste'd bubble. (fait 1 Sarleai Bnrsaea.") 'Haw Omaha svt War Best o) Them What's the Toast? ' - ix. . ; By C G. Renyolds, Griswpld, la. To thee, O, water crystal clear, We pledge our troth today; , John Barleycorn is dead and gone, They've hauled his bones away, His days are done, his race -rs ruiv Lift up your glasses high! ' - (-.. We'll celebrate all o'er the state ', For Omaha is dry. '. By David Ritchie.) Omaha. Here's , a cup that holds no sadness I Here's a cup that's filled" with glad ness 1 'j. .; .'' From the storage -vaults of nature, Vintage of the earth and sky. Hold it up that all may view it! Let tne sunlight sparkle through it. t - And drink to ptd Nebraska, for the state s gone dry.: r . Answers . Heres' to the man: who drinks, ice water, . 1 , - And drinks ice water alone! -1 For many a man who has drunk the !'' wine i . ' . -. ... i- Should have drunk ice witer alone. Ye gods of destiny have, launched our ships anew! Uur great and glori- ous city has gone dry. But is it not the natural evolution of things?,' Do not the cows go dry once a year? And have not the very springs in your beds been, dry for many moons? l Well, here's how, boys!' ' ' i; ' For weal or woe, - ' " f Sure there's May first, . , ! But the. vines still grow. 'Y ; Lots of ways to kill a cat ,.' Same with laws we know. So smile, everybody; all's well ' We're from Missouri what fell. Here's to the sparkling crystal drink, , With which after May first - We'll all quench our thirst! ' -So here's to the mighty "water!" - And the man worth while i' Is the man who will smile ' When alt the saloons go. dry. : Heres' to the waterl It's clear and its pure, It washeth our sins and healeth the .. sore. ...... i-. ' It quencheth the thirst regardless of scorn. We ll dig the grave deep Of John Barkvr.o'" ' . "