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THE OMAHA SUNDAY BEE: MAY 20. 1917. The Omaha Bee DAILY (MORNING) EVENING SUNDAY FOUNDED BY EDWARD ROSE WATER VICTOR ROSEWATER, EDITOR B Mill. NT Jtu. Hi 00 4.00 6.00 1. 00 - 100 ..110.00 THE BEE PUBLISHING COMPANY. PROPRIETOR. Entered at Omaha postoffict seconds Is s matter. TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION. Br Carrier. dally end Sunday per mooUi. 6Ao Dally without Sunday " 4ta ftrenlni sod 8iiDiT 40o GTanlni elUiout tJuaday s."'0 sundst Be only SOo full anrl HunrUv Rm. threa fMH In advance.... Hand baum nf change of address or trrsfularttj la dsllfsrf to Omaha Bee, ClrcuiaUaj Department REMITTANCE Renrtt ny draft, tiinns or postal order. Only l-ct stamps UNO In parmmt of small stoounta PtraooaJ oh oca. except on Ooati and teatera exebaiife, not accepted. OFFICES. Onsha ns Bat Bulldlna, Chicago Paopll Ou BoHdlna, Bout Omaha 1318 N flt. New Inrk 2M fifth in. Council Bluff 14 N. Mala St St Louis Ntw B'k. of Oramerca Uoootai LltUa Building, ttaahlnfton 7x8 14th Bt N. W. CORRESPONDENCE Addrw eonatmleattoni nlattog to neat and editorial Battot to On aha Baa, Editorial Department. APRIL CIRCULATION 56,260 Daily Sunday, 51,144 iimi tfrenltUna ft uw month. mbKilteS ud mm 10 br DvlfU WUUuu, Clreulttlo. Uuttm. Suberikra Imvinff th. city kouU bm Th. Bm mIM ta tfa.m. AddraM chfcnffcd u oftM .s NqimMd. Army registration day June 51 Mark it down en your calendar I It will be hard to beat the sunshine Nebraska is enjoying just now. America (tilt is waiting (or the tune the boys are to march to this time. Unkind fate persist! in holding Ireland on the snap as a horrible example of disunion. The open season for shooting silver bullets finds Uncle Sam fairly equipped for'the competi tion. Omaha folks hart) rallied to the Red Cross in fine form. In fact, Omaha is a regular "I-will" The only Inference is that "Woodrow" is not In sympathy with "Teddy's" desire to head a vol anteer division. Russian democratic leaders luckily realize that hanging together has several distinct advantages over hanging separately. One branch of the new army is full the avia tion corps. Now the boys who stick to the ground may get a chance. , On to France! The sea road of 1917 is much shorter than the Manila route of 1899, but the scenery abounds with superior thrills. Some comfort resides in the reflection that the news columns no longer contain announcements of new altitudes attained by prices for breadstuffs. As Old Sol warms up to its task food scares grow beautifully less. More confidence in nature and industry is a bulwark against selfishness and worry. In view of the great progress Rev. "Billy" Sunday (s making In saving New York, the pro jected widening of Hell Gate seems a waste of energy and good money. Owners of polling places who decline to do nate the use of the rooms for use on registration day are overlooking a chance to avoid a lot of un pleasant memories in days to come. "Representative Gardner proposes now to shoot as he voted" World-Herald. Then, if Senator Hitchcock makes his actions conform to the printed record, he will duck and be marked "not voting." "Emma Goldman again talking treason open ly." Headline over an item about an anti-conscription meeting. Must be taking the cue from a certain class of newspapers of which we have rep resentation right here in Omaha. The prospects of Canada resorting to draft does not discredit the volunteer system, which produced 60,000 fighting men out of a population of 8,000,000, Compulsory service tends to equalize national service and rally those who conveniently dodge volunteer duty. The president's proclamation reminds us that we are in the one hundredth and forty-first year of the independence of the United States of America. To continue to enjoy that independ ence, with its blessing of liberty, present day Americans must show that they are worthy of it. No pent up lines or narrow trenches contracts the sweep of the battle for sea freedom. One day the nndersea tigers seize their prey m northern waters, next they disport in the Mediterranean. The task before the allied naval host constitute a mighty test of resources, seamanship, vigilance and skill The experience of eastern cities early in the war, when numerous so-called war relief funds were worked by swindlers, justifies the reasonable precautions proposd in Omaha. Generously dis posed people are entitled to the safeguards of of ficial authorization. War and the Church Work. Religious bodies and societies generally report their work affected adversely by the presence of war. Money for carrying out plans already in operation, to support missionary work and to maintain established institutions of the various de nominations, is falling short of requirements. The American Bible society reports not only a de creased output, but a considerable deficit in its operating funds, and calls for greater support, that its activities may not be hampered. Other bodies engaged in advancing the Christian re ligion make similar reports and pleas. This state of affairs might have been anticipated. Millions of dollars that have heretofore gone to church work are now diverted to other uses; and activi ties just as essential in their way to the cause of religion, the Red Cross and the Young Men's Christian association, the Belgian relief, and other such imperative charities, have absorbed the gifts that might have gone to defray the cost of Bible publication and distribution, or the maintenance of missionary effort at home and abroad. The sit uation is not serious, but the churches must be content to let great plans for extension work stand in abeyance until the more pressing de mands on generous givers have been satisfied. Re ligion is not being forgotten, nor neglected; relief of war victims is put at the head of humanitarian undertakings that is " Americans for Active Service. Old Glory soon wilt wave alongside the flags of allied democracy, and American soldiers will march to the front in France, followed by the confident hopes of millions of their countrymen, secure in the belief that the traditions of our arms will be upheld in the warfare they are entering. The order of President Wilson, naming General Pershing to command the first expeditionary force from the United States, means the army soon will join the navy in actual combat, and that our own boys will be in the trenches, battling for the great cause of freedom for the world. This order, and the proclamation designating June 5 as registra tion day under the selective draft law, put defi nitely the seal of sincerity on our determination to assist in winning the victory for humanity. Our participation in the war bas become a re ality, and Americans must now nerve themselves for the shock of unpleasant news. Our soldiers are sent on no holiday march, but are going into the sternest of physical strife.- Sacrifices must be made, and will come in that spirit of devotion which has called forth the best of our manhood for the work. The choice of Pershing to lead the first of our forces across the Atlantic places the honor where it is well deserved. His capacity as a soldier has well been tested by long and honor able service. Nebraskans feel a deep interest in him because of his long residence in the state. He was a student and a graduate at our State uni versity before he went to West Point, and later for several years was military instructor at the university from which he bears the degree of bachelor of laws. Our own regiments of National Guard are mor ally certain of being included in the army General Pershing is to head. This brings the personal connection with the war very close to Nebraska homes, from which other soldiers have marched to gallantly uphold Old Glory on battlefields. The boys of today will not falter, but will go and come as did the boys of '61 and '98, full of honor for themselves and credit to the state. Blowing Hot and Blowing Cold. Our amiable hyphenated contemporary, the World-Herald, is evidently having a trying time of it to keep on both sides of every question and at the same time maintain its seat on the fence. On Friday its omniscient editorial oracle deigned to give congress this sage advice: "The burden of the war taxes should be placed upon luxuries and not on the necessities. We spend annually for liquor, tobacco, jewelry, motor cars, candy, chewing gum and ice cream more than $5,000,000,000. Such articles should bear a great part of the cost of war. Even if the tax were so heavy as to reduce the consump tion, the nation would not suffer greatly from that." Yes, there it is In btg type, in just those words, right on the editorial page of Friday's World Herald, But something unexpected evidently happened over night, for Saturday's World-Herald in its regular editorial scream turns a complete somersault. The oracle seems suddenly to have discovered that what on Friday were luxuries that ought to be taxed out of existence, had on Satur day become the necessary comforts and con veniences which every well regulated household should possess. To quote again from the hy phenated: "It is a strange notion of the national welfare that discourages rational pleasure-seeking and recreation. A phonograph, if you can afford it, h not waste. A motor car, if you have the means, judiciously used, may be a wise expendi ture. President Wilson, himself, plays golf and goes occasionally to the theater and a ball game, because he knows it makes him a better man. In war time it is more important than in peace that the industrial and commercial activities of a nation continue unimpeded." Yes, that's the way it reads on Saturday after the hyphenated editor had a hunch that it would be "wise economy" for him to back-track from some of his foolish notions. But which did he really mean? What he said on Friday or what he said on Saturday? Rations for Neutral Nations. Limitation of food exports from the United States to neutral nations has been decided upon. Such action is based entirely upon war condi tions and as such is welt warranted. It is not only intended to prevent the possibility of sup plies falling into the hands of the enemy, but will aid in conserving stores of food and clothing needed for our own use. This will not be done in a haphazard manner, but along lines worked out from tables of experience gathered since the war began. The predicament of the neutral na tions, especially of the Scandinavians and the Dutch, is serious, but not precarious. They will not be starved, but they must share with the com batants the scanty surplus available, and on such terms as the belligerents prescribe. Too much of the future depends on the food stocks of the present to permit of unrestricted traffic. Exact details for the operation of the new plan have not yet been worked out, but the principle has been agreed to, and this means its early applica tion in practice. ' Profits and the Shorter Workday. A special committee reported to the convention of the American Manufacturers' association that whenever the shorter workday becomes profitable, it will be adopted without resort to legislation. This is so true the wonder will be that ever a com mittee was named to make the report But the matter does not end there. If the sole purpose of existence were the production of profits, all en ergy might probably be directed to that end. But if life has a higher meaning than is expressed in the accumulation of wealth, Inevitably centered in the comparative few, then the shorter workday must be considered from a point of view other than that of whether it is profitable in the manner implied in the report. Admittedly, the standard of life is that of the whole people, rather than of any class or group. It is axiomatic also that what affects one group affects all the others. Conditions of employment must necessarily touch intimately on our national life, for the great majority of our people are wage earners, and as their situation is improved it must follow that all are in some way benefited. One possible way of achieving this is to shorten the hours spent at toil and to allow more time for the other things of life. No industry has yet become so thoroughly systematized that, its contribution to the whole may be exactly measured, and ior that reason none may venture to fix hard and fast conditions for any. But the tendency of the age is to lessen the burdens of the workers wherever it may be safely done, and the employer is short-sighted who fails to give this fact due weight in his cal culations. 1 If the worst comes to the jitney cigar, there remains a secure retreat to the pungent stogie. Br Victor BoMwator THE DRIVE of the Red Cross brigade in its campaign for membership in Omaha this past week must be a revelation to all of us, including those who have been most actively enlisted in the work. Omaha has been rated as apathetic toward the war, but, whether this is or is not true. Omaha plainly is no "slacker" when it comes to taking hold of the Red Cross work and providing for the activities on the humane side of the firing line. Our experience with the Red Cross heretofore has been wholly confined to calamitous visita tions of nature like our tornado of four years ago, when the resources of the Red Cross helped for relief and reconstruction. This movement, how ever, we should realize, is world-wide and the Red Cross organization permeates every civilized nook and corner of the globe. In this country, as else where, it has the official recognition of the gov ernment and the president is the nominal head, though, of course, not the active director. The Red Cross in this country was originally identified with Miss Clara Barton, who made it her lifework, and she was succeeded by Miss Ma bel T. Boardman. During the Taft administra tion, Miss Boardman, by personal association with the president, as well as by reason of her position with the Red Cross, was an acknowledged power in the White House and in the government departments. On one occasion I had some busi ness by appointment with General Wood, then chief of the army staff, and word was brought to me requesting that I wait a few moments be cause the general was in conference with "Gen eral" Mabel Boardman, as she was familiarly re ferred to by the War department attaches. On another occasion I was engaged in conversation in the White House reception room with Con gressman Prince of Illinois, who was, as I recall, a member of the house naval committee, and I re member distinctly his declaration that if he were interested in any measure he wanted to put through congress or to secure executive sanction, he knew of no one whose aid would be more ef fective and certain of success than that of Miss Boardman. Two pretty good tributes to the rare ability of a clever woman privileged to marshal the tremendous force of the great Red Cross or ganization. Mention has been made more than once during this Red Cross membership campaign of valuable assistance rendered by the newspapers as public ity channels and in arousing public sentiment, and to the appeals carried as advertisements, specifi cally noting that they were paid for by different friends of the cause. That the public may not have a false impression about this advertising it should be explained that the newspapers made a special half rate for this purpose and that the half rate charge under present conditions of print pa per cost hardly covers the actual outlay for paper, postage and composition to distribute the sheets upon which they are printed. So far as The Bee is concerned, it did not push solicitation of this advertising except to the extent that it would be helpful to the work, even though '(spreading" on it might have contributed to aninflation of our comparative showing of advertising patronage. Our readers will recall only a short time ago a brief account in this column of the address made by Joseph H. Choate at the luncheon held in con nection with the annual meeting of the Associ ated Press in New York last month. It is diffi cult to realize that Mr. Choate should be sum moned to the Great Beyond so soon. In that speech he himself adverted to the fact that he was in his eighty-sixth year and had persuaded him self that his career as an orator was ended, yet could not resist this particular invitation. He was in the most jovial and happy mood and made a telling patriotic speech, demonstrating a robust ness and vitality that I have never seen in any other man of his years. Another notable whose death is announced, Mrs. Belva A. Lockwood, also stirs personal recollections. Mrs. Lockwood was one of the pioneers in the suffrage movement who partici pated in several hearings on the subject before congressional committees that I once happened to attend. She was matter-of-fact in speech, but impressive. She carried the prestige of being one of the first women lawyers successfully practicing in the courts. I have her signature in an auto graph album with the inscription "Yours for equal civil and political rights." While in Baltimore I observed an innovation in the running of the street cars which is called the "skip-stop" and is being put into trial opera tion on two of the lines. The company was en deavoring to educate its patrons to the point of accepting the plan of stopping cars only at speci fied points and the explanation offered is inter esting: The effect of the skip-stop is to save time for the riding public. The saving of five minutes on a trip is of great importance. Saved minutes on each car's run enables that car in the course of a day to make other runs, so the public gets hetter service as well as faster service. The company asks the public to give the plan a fair and unprejudiced trial. .The stopping places have been selected with a great deal of care that they might be those that would best cater to the public convenience. The man who has to walk a block farther than heretofore should not lose sight of the fact that he is even then saving many minutes on his trip to his destination. Poles nearest the present stopping places all along the two lines have been marked. Those at which the stops are retained are painted "CAR STOP." Since all stops are to be re tained in the downtown district it has not been necessary to mark any poles. Those which are skipped are painted "NO CAR STOP." Watch for the white painted poles with the black let tering and there need be no confusion. If the thing works out to advantage in Balti more it may spread, so I take it may be worth while for other cities to watch the experiment and take heed of its results. People and Events Soaps of all grades are taking the price esca lator to the second floor. A little matter of 20 and 25 per cent measures the first upward flight. A widow in New York dazed the city author ities by asking them to stop the pension given her because she didn't need the money. Wouldn't that jar you? An , anti-military league of college students of New York threatens to go to jail rather than reg ister for conscription. Uncle Sam's facilities are suited to varying tastes. New England purse to the orphans of France, delivered to the French commissioners at Boston, contained $175,000. One operatic performance in New York netted a similar fund $85,845. Hard lines loom ahead for "mere man." Lest they overlook what's coming, one heartless rail road corporation down east actually trains women for jobs before the eyes of male jobholders. Say, wouldn't that jar you? If there Is any shade of the alleged "honor among thieves" left in the profession, it is high time the auto thieves allowed gasoline society a chance to get some pleasure before the draft or the rising cost of living punctures the tires. John L. Sullivan, 60 and beyond, went down to Oyster bay, gave the Roosevelt division "the once over" and enrolled himself as a private in the ranks. The champion that was wants to be at the ringside when Teddy clinches with the Kaiser. Look, took, what have we here? The annual June rise out of high-priced graduation dress. This one comes from the Portland (Ore.) High school, which agreed on a limit of $6 for a com plete outfit. Could war economy cut deeper and survive? Proverb for tie Say. Be sure you are right, then go ahead. One Year Ago In the War. England put the "daylight saving" plan into operation. Germans gained at Verdun, but failed In attacks on the French and British In Belgium. Emperor William reported to have returned secretly to Berlin to settle cabinet crisis over food situation. In Omaha Thirty Years Ago. The police commissioners selected Captain Webber F. Seavey as chief of police. The new Farnam street and Park avenue horse ear line has been opened, which leaves Farnam at Twenty seventh and turns westward on Leav enworth. The oil and Supply house in the transfer yards caught fire and locomo tive No. 1202, which has a fine engine, C. Heboid, engineer, and J. W. San dusky, ably assisted by J. T. Hurley, Bremen, ran a mile, got water on the building and saved It. A number of sportsmen have Joined in the organization of the Manawa Gun club, which has the following of ficers: President, H. B. Sackett; vice president, J. T. Oliver; secretary, F. P. Jones: treasurer, A. Bereatein. Chief Galllgan of the fire depart ment has received a letter from Gen eral Crook, congratulating him on the effective manner In which the fire boys put out the Are In the general's house. President Helmrod of the Turners' society states that the coming exhibi tion of the Turners at Boyd's Is ex pected to exceed anything of the kind ever given in this city. Mrs. Laura Powers of Crete, Neb., Is visiting her brother. C. H. Blrney, and Mrs, C. I Erickson at Walnut Hill. At Spoerl's park an athletic picnic was given at which the principal event was a ten-mile race between Gregg and Hrazte of this city. This Day In History. 1767 "Dolly" Madison, wife of President Madison, and known as the White House heroine of 1812, born in North Carolina. Died in Washington, July 12, 1849. 1775 Presbyterians of North Caro lina formed the Mecklenburg conven tion, which anticipated the Declara tion of Independence made at Phila delphia, i 1813 Battle of Bautzen, between Napoleon and the allies, under the emperor of Russia and king of Prus sia. 1834 Marquis de Lafayette, French stateman and friend of America In the revolution, died In Paris. Born Sep tember 6, 1767. 1857 Delhi captured from the mu tineers by Sir Archdale Wilson. 1867 England, France and Russia offered mediation to avert the war bel tween Prussia and Austria. 1892 Movement led by Robert Wil cox to set ub a republic In Hawaii suppressed by the royal government. 1&15 English coroner's jury passed a verdict of "willful murder" against Emperor William after a Zeppelin raid. , 191 Victor Carlstrom (who re cently fell to death), piloted a biplane from Newport News to New York without stop. The Day We Celebrate. Leslie H. Kranz was born May 20, 1891, in Ida county, Iowa. He is now one of the active and substantial busi ness men of Omaha, being president of the Missouri River Lumber com pany. George A. Hoagland, lumberman, capitalist and one of Omaha's pio neers, was born May 20, 1843, in Boonevllle, Mo. The Hoagland block stands on the site of the residence which he and his family occupied lor many years. Court S. Carrier, city ticket agent for the Chicago, Milwaukee & St. Paul Hallway company, Is celebrating his sixty-eighth birthday today. He is a native of Pennsylvania and was ticket seller at the Union Pacific depot in Omaha from 1873 to 1883 when he as sumed his present position. Field Marshal Alexander H. R. von Kluck, the German commander whom Joftre defeated on the Marne, born In Munster, seventy-one years ago toddy. M. Meline, late minister of agricul ture In the French ministry, born seventy-nine years ago today. Emile Berliner, famous for his In vention of the telephone transmitter and other electrical devices, born In Hanover, Germany, sixty-six years ago today. Frederic L. Belque, member of the Canadian senate, recently elected a di rector of the Canadian Pacific railway, born seventy-two years ago today. Antoinette L. B, Blackwell, the first woman to be ordained to the ministry in the United States, born at Henrietta, N. Y., ninety-two years ago today. Dr. Carl Leo Mees, president of Rose Polytechnic institute, born at Co lumbus, O., sixty-four years today. Timely Jottings and Reminders. The Cuban republic celebrates Its fifteenth birthday today. North Carolina keeps a holiday to- J.. In .nl.hHtlnn nf thn B n n I VPlRfl TV of the signing of the Mecklenburg dec laration Ol inaepenaence. Rt Rev. Joseph G. Anderson, auxili ary bishop of the Catholic diocese of Boston, today celebrates the silver jubilee of his ordination to the priest hood. The annual congress of the National Society Sons of the wmerican Revolu tion, to have opened today at Nash ville, has been declared off on account of the war situation. Members of the American Unitarian association and Its allied societies will gather in Boston today from all parts of the country for the beginning of anniversary week. On order of Baron Davenport, the food controller, England today will put into effect a system regulating the maximum retail price on various arti cles of food. Storyette of the Day. Slok folks are often extremely quer ulous. A man was attacked with In flammatory rheumatism and his suf ferings frequently caused his wife to burst into tears as she sat at his bed side. One day a friend of this Invalid came In and asked how he was get ting on. "Badly, badly!" he exclaimed, "and It's all my wife's fault." "Is It possible?" asked his friend In surprise. "Yes. The doctor told me that hu midity was bad for me, and there that woman sits and cries just to make It more moist in the room," Boston Transcript Up to the prettnt tlmt 7,000 employes of on Engli.li railwor eomp.ny havo join.il the colon, of whom nearly 800 havt been killed or novo died from wounds or ttckne... AROUND THE CITIES. Minneapolis banks have adopted tht Hdy light saving plan." Realtor Ultimate that only one-third of tht people of San Francisco reiide 1b home of their own. Chicago encourage! ft movement to place few samples of 6-eent loavea of bread In city museum as relic of bygone times. fit Joseph ha sufficient confidence In the Big Muddy sticking close to town to boost far river navigation and dock facilities to match. Dairymen of St Joseph launched a cam paign of publicity to educate the public on "the food value of milk." Somewhere in the distance consumers glimpse a price uplift Supervisors of San Francisco launched an "economy campaign" along Unas of least re sistance. They boosted salaries to start with and promised to mutilate every bill outside of the payroll. Chicago Is making progress In extending Michigan avenue north of the river. Owner of one-third of the property involved have accepted the city's terms and the rest are expected to follow suit A bond Issue of $8,800,000 will take car of the expense of widening the extension. "Nature deposited the key to her treasure house in Glenrock t" head lines the booster number of tht Glenrock Derrick, redolent with the odors of the Big Hudday Oil fields of Wyoming. Glenrock is ready and anxious to loan the key to all comers who possess the enterprise to dig with the rest of tht crowd. Three years ago Minneapolis adopted a one system of residence districts, excluding therefrom apartments and store buildings. The state supreme court, in test case, ruled that the city has not tht power of restric tion in itself, that power being available only by legislative act Tht cast involved an apartment building project, which brought from the court the remark that "it could see no essential difference between flat buildings and store buildings." The hosts of evil persist In hooting pur veyors of pure dry stuff in Kansas towns. Occasionally the latter camt back with pikes and hammers. Recently tht cops of Wichita hopped on a full blown factory of boost, operated beside a cemetery. Tht location truck the dry invader ai peeularly ap propriate, but the connection didn't save the Industry. All fluids were spilled on the spot and some 600 beer bottles, emptied in ad vance of the raid, were taken to town as evidence of thirsts smothered In suds. HERE AND THERE. A new plant which will specialtse In army boot making will be erected loon in Wichita, Kan, Professional dog trainers declare that the poodle is the cleverest member of the ca nine kingdom. The English village of Penshurst contains only one man, all the remainder having joined the colors. It Is estimated that England Is saving SOO tons of paper weekly by the abolition of the newspaper contents bills. Seven hundred and fifty million dollar Is the estimated cost of all the sandbags used by the British in the present war. The surface speed of German submarines is probably fourteen to twenty knots, and the submerged speed eight to ten knots. Two descendants of President John Adams, who wrote the greater part of the present constitution of Massachusetts, will have eats In the convention which meet next month to revise that instrument The Instruments on an aeroplane usually include an altimeter, for indicating the height; clock, compass, revolution indicator, indicating the air speed of the aeroplane, and petrol and air gauges, indicating the amount of fuel in the tanks. A bomb dropped from a Zeppelin at a height of 8,000 feet, while the airship is traveling at full speed, would strike the ground at not less than three-eights of a mile in front of the spot over which the Zeppelin was at the moment traveling. Only a few hundred miles separate the Peruvian cities of Isima and Iquitos, but as they are located on opposite sides of the Andes, the quickest route for a letter from Iquitos to Lima is 8,000 miles down the Amazon, 5,000 miles to Liverpool, 4,000 more to the Panama canal, and from thence down tht west coast of South America to Lima. "IF WE HAD TIME." (Richard Burton.) If I had the time to find a place And sit me down full face to face With my batter self, that cannot show In my dally life that rushes so; It might be then I should see my soul Was stumbling still toward the shining goal; I might be nerved by the thought sublime If I had the time! If I had the time to let my heart Speak out and take In my life a part; To look about and to stretch a hand To a comrade quartered In No-Luck land; Ah. God, if I might but just sit still And hear the note of the whip-poor-will, I think that my wish with God would rhyme If I had the time! If I had the time to learn from you How much for comfort my word could do; And I told you then of my sudden will To kiss vour feet when I did you ill; If the tears aback of the coldness feigned Could flow, and the wrong be quits ex plained. Brothers, the souls of us all would chime, If we had the time. i he well equipped elegance of our funerals snd the convincing courtesy of our undertaking staff provide burials whose dignity is unsurpassed. The con duct of our organisation is polite and the fairneftt of our business dealings ap peal to those looking for fair play. We co-operate with undertakers in other :itles. N. P. SWANSON Funeral Parlor. (Established 1888) 17th and Cuming St. Tel. Doug. 1060- DOMESTIC PLEASANTRIES. Office Boy Why, cert, I want mort pa I'm only gat tin' four a week now an' r give me mother all X earn. Employer What do you do with tht r main log three dollar f Boston Transcript "Why li tht crowd galng with tucl admiration, almost awe, on himf I he the governor?" "Governor? Tut( H no mtr governor! He's the chap who owna ths bowlgg4 bull pup that took the prise at tht bench sho if." Browning Magaslnt. 'Take your thesis. The Limitation ot tht Human Mind.' Tour loglo la faulty." "Urn." "Tour metaphor art mixed. Even you spelling Is bad." "Well, the human mind hat its limlta ttons, professor." Louisville Courier-Jour nal. Mrs. Baron Ha your husband got good sound teeth? Mrs. Egbert Oh, yes. "Have you seen them all?1 "No, but the other night he got fright ened and I beard them,'1 Tonkers State man. QwXMR.toWBBLE, $900 FRO W FIANCEE AND BrCX YO HER? "Ma, I'm going to have a clrcu in tha garden." "How are you going to do that, Willie?' "Why, I've got dandelions, striped tlgef lilies and the big elephant's ear, and we're o-olng to have the trumpet flowers blow in the band and all the flowers shoot off their pistils." Baltimore American. "What are you reading, Clarice 7" "About summer goods. This store adver Uses landing nets. What do they mean by a landing net?" "A hammock." Louisville Courier-Jour- nal. Maria Willis at the beach) Kit It quits clever social general. Jane Glllls Tea. She went through last season's campaign without the loss of ft man. Life. "Is your husband xnuoh of provider, Mallndy?" "He jes' ain't nothlo else, ma'am. Rt gwlne to git some new furniture provMtn he gits de money; he gwlne to git de money providln' he go to work; he go to worM providin de Job suits him. I never set such a providln' man in all mah days." San Francisco Chronicle. J9. -: Ed. F. Morearty, Sr. Mr. Ed. F. Morearty, Sr., ont of Omaha's prominent attorney and a resident of Omaha since 1879, is the author of a re cent publication entitled "Omaha Mem ories," or recollection of events, men and affairs In Omaha, Neb., from 1879 to 1917. A book of 260 pages. Few if any events of importance have escaped hi marvelous memory. It is up to data and should be read not only by those now residing in Omaha, but by any person who ever lived in Omaha within that period of time. Thia publication la for salt at the fabulous low price of $1.50. For sale for the present at the office of the author, 640 Bee Bldg., Omaha. Doug las 8841 Harney 2156. Preparedness Our prescription department is always in a state of prepared ness. We carry a full stock of all rare drugs as well as the staples, and are prepared at any time to fill any prescription. Because of this state of pre paredness, you are assured of correctly compounded prescrip tions without delay. We never use substitutes you get the prescription just as the doctor orders. Sherman & McConnell Drug Company 5 Good Drug Stores. SELECTIVE DRAFT HAS PROVEN EFFECTIVE FOR Woodmen of the World Age Limit IS to 52 830,000 MEN Qualified to Proteet Homes Conserved Their Resources and Reierved THIRTY-THREE MILLION DOLLARS As the Last Line of Defense for Loved Ones If You're Not Enrolled, REGISTER NOW DOUGLAS 1117 W. A. FRASER Sovereign Commander 1. T. YATES Sovereign Clerk THE OMAHA BEE INFORMATION BUREAU I Washington, D. C. EnMnned find a two-cent tamp, for which yon will please send me, ! entirely free, a copy of the pamphlet, "Preparing Vegetables." Name Street Address. City.... State.