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A By Profane and pagan history, tradition myth and n^ry When Zeus from Mount Olympus his awful mandates hurled, Have been glorified by poets et»ic, lyric and heioic, And won the first recorded prize, we'll offer resume We have no hesitation in discussing any nation, For when the leader wishes its policies to test, If she has the least suspicion that a few lack ammunition, lies With apologies to Mark Twain. E S Gastronomical, Paradoxical and Otheiwise (Written by Mrs. A. M. Knight, of Sisseton, at the annual banquet of the Zenith Club.) Since Homer sang and Hesiod gave Theogony to the world. But modern gods and goddesses prompt no Iliads or Odysseys, Our Hebes all wear modern clothes, and hobble skirts at that Though we fain would wax Homeric^ and explore the esoteric, Our epics range from politics to "Casey at the Bat.' And yet our heads are level in the Zenith Club we revel In drinking draughts of knowledge from the deep Iienan spring So for these guests invited, we have these lines indited, In which we advertise our wares, and the Zenith praises sing. In this matter gastronomic we've a theme that's quite Byronic He, manlike, termed the dinner-bell the tocsin of the soul For life's most important features, to these super-soulful creatures, piece,s /e resistance galore, And should your sad condition demand a repetition. You may* like Dickens' Oliver, rise up and call for more. Having stirred anticipation by this lucid explanation, We'll turn to other items in the tale we have to tell And we hope we will not bore you, when we briefly place before you of talent in the Zenith's In parenthesis I'll tell you how this casualty befell you: When they sought a "Merry Andrew" for Zenith vaudeville, Who would furnish stuff that's florid, or In making me their "barker" they overlooked Fitz Parker, Our honored president and erstwhile faithful scribe Or the capable Van Warring would have set the Muses soaring In a manner to immortalize the noble Zenith tribe. Through modesty I hesitate our virtues to enumerate They're numerous, we all admit, as leaves upon a tree For in an age Marconian, with environments Sissetonian, The only vice we tolerate is the office of V. P. 'Tis an old exploded fable that woman is unable To solve the knotty problems which human wisdom vex She has entered her dominion and you'll change your crude opinion When McFoss descants on Shakspere, or Von Andrews on the sex. She has but to press the button, and DeBabcock does the rest. Past President O'Turner is a regular Bunsen burner, That on our days of meeting sheds a steady, brilliant light: Which makes each day adorable, yet in a way deplorable Brings into painful contrast the dullness of the (K)night. It is oft considered risky to entrust the gay and frisky With means wherewith to make a plunge, or cut a sporty dash But our careful secretary, who is both alert and wary, Keeps her weather optic focused on the treasurer, and the cash. Now, ye husbands here assembled, you have doubtless often trembled At this aggregate of wisdom, coined in learning's golden mint, But we've not the least intention of arousing apprehension, When we of our achievements give this very modest hint. To tell you in this narrative our duty is imperative If anyone at times has missed his consort's loving smile. Imagine no iniquity, she was studying antiquity And burrowing for mummies in the valley of the Nile. To 'varsities and colleges, their isms and their ologies, An early introduction to the most has been denied But if you want ability, or seek for versatility, Make application to the Club and you can be supplied. We can read a little Latin, we can dress in silk and satin, When the loos'ning ot your purse-strings gives any chance,— Yet your means we'll never squander, for we're often known ponder, With grave and serious aspect, on questions of finance. In our conversation polished—use of slang has been abolished— We speak the English language as she always should be spoke We are cultured from the ground up, and at every Zenith round-up We make the dictionaries look like one stupendous joke. It may seem to you like fiction, but in elegance of diction We surely put it over all the savants of the "Hub We've no reason to be chary of our choice vocabulary, The supply is without limit—we've acquired it at the Club. .. .With the most extreme propriety we mingle in society. At all its various functions our deportment is an, fait All faux pas are averted, we are never disconcerted a change from formal costume to somber or outre. We are graceful at gymnastics, we can "trip the light fantastic," Manipulate the pasteboards, all in the proper season We can wield a saw and hammer, we can play the grand piano, And make attempts at poetry, with neither rhyme nor reason. Though our German lacks precision and our French is not Parisian, We can read your honest faces like the pages of a book 'We can sing a grand Hosanna in a soul-uplifting manner— Yet with all these vast acquirements, rest assured we still can cook. Your suspense shall now be ended, and your wants will be at tended In the most effective manner that woman can devise And while seated at the table we will charm your hearts, if able, The royal road to which, 'tis said, through each man's stomach i&* and delivered by her on the gustatorial roll. You will find it no delusion, that, following this effusion, We'll serve poutet, des pet Us /nuns. ties pom me !e terres That renowned in days of Hector as ambrosia and nectar In modern guise ere me !t glare, ijillt'dti. eaje a a (ait,— And the fruit which wise Athena brought into the world arena, a. I'entree. person net. exceptionally They took me on, in hopes that I, perchance, might fill the bill. torrid. f. fVA'-y' sort of Guard Your Children Against Bowel Trouble Many children at an early aye become oonslipatcd, and frequently serious consequences result. Not being able tr realize his own con dition, a child's bowels should be constantly watched, and a gentle laxative given when necessary. Dr. Miles' Laxative Tablets are especially well adapted to women and children. 'i lie Sisters of Christian Charity, 531 Charles St., Luzerne, l'a., who attend many cases of sickness say of them: "Some time ago we began using Pr. Milea' Laxative TaMi-ts ami find that wo like th'-in very much. Their action Is excellent and we are grateful fur having lii-en made acquainted with them. We have tiad pood results in every ease and the Sisters are very much phased." The form and flavor of any medi cine is very important, 110 matter who is to take it. The taste and appearance are especially important when children are concerned. All parents know how hard it is to give the average child "medicine," c-veli though lite taste is partially dis guised. In using Dr. Miles' Lax ative Tablets, however, this diffi culty is overcome. The shape of the tablets, their appearance and candy-like taste at once appeal to any child, with the result that they are taken without objection. The rich chocolate flavor and absence of other taste, make Dr. Miles' Laxative Tablets the ideal remedy for children. If the first box tails to benefit, the price is returned. Ask your druggist. A box of 25 doses costs only 25 cents. Never sold in bulk. MILES to MEDICAL CO., Elkhart, Ind. OFFICIAL PROCEEDINGS Of the Board of County Commis sioners of Roberts County. S. D„ During Their February, 1912 Meeting. Sisseton, S. I).. April 2nd. i:12 The board of county commis sioners met in regular session. .Members present. M. L. Sa.tern. S. L. Remand. M. L. Mi.ekelson. •iohn Meland ami Harry Gran bois. The applications for see'd grain taken up and action taken Hows: were as fo I. 3. Thomas B. WLson. Rejected Adolpll Peters Rejected ('has. A. Evans. 50 bu. •I. chaff wheat .... Allowed Betsey Larson, 100 bu. Yelvi 4. Velvet chaff wheat Allowed 5. Mil Chid', liio In:. Durum wheat Allow,-d (i. l'hnery Uriel) Rejected 7. Peter .Moe Withdrawn S. I'\ 15. Kelly Rej eted !). Christ .lohnson. 50 bu. Durum, (i bu. flax Allowed 10. T. E. Lien. 100 bu. Durum wheat 11. S. A. Strom, .... 12. Kvei sy, 110 bu. hit bushels fax 13. Aaron Crocker, .. 14. Per Lundeii, 15. Joseph Eigel, 30 barley, 70 bu. oats, Hi. .Mrs. Marv Braden, Allowed Reject eil 15 .Allowed Rejected ls Allowed :il. 1 Rejected 11. Allowed 50 Allowed bu. wheat, 50 bu oats, 17. Maitland P. Clark. 50 bu. wheat, Allowed 18. Olaus Olson, 30 bu. of Velvet chaff Alio we'd At 6 P. M. the board adjourn ed for supper, then retunred and 1 held a night session. I'J. Martin Erickson. 30 bu. wheat, 20 bu. oats, .... Allowed 20. Martin, E. Running, 30 bu. oats 25 bu. wheat Allowed 21. A. R. Blood, 30 bu. of oa.ts, Allowed Ed llinkeliinan, 25 bu. 22 oats, 5 bu. flax 23. Charles llarlman, u. oats, 15 bu. wheat 24. Charles Lind, 50 Allowed 100 .Allowed bu. barley, 40 bu. oats Allowed 25. V. E. Quale, 45 bu. Durum, 35 bu. oats, ....Allowr 2(5. Ole E. Larson, 30 bu. Vi'i'.vet Chal'f.'30 bu. barley Allow 27. Ola.f Swnne-on, 35 bu. Velvet chaff, 50 bu. barley A'b.wed On motion tlie board adjourn to April 3rd, 1912. Attest: Signed: J. A. Ray, M. L. Sateren. Countv Auditor, Chairman Sisseton, S. D., April 3rd, 1912. The board of county commis sioners met as per adjournment, all members present. Motion made and seconded that the time for the openi-ng of the bridge bids, which was set for to day, be extended to May 7th, 1912. Motion carried. The seed grain applications 61. were then taken up and action taken as follows: 28. Ed Crocker, Rejected 29. John Anderson, 40 lm. Durum wheat, Allowed arley, 40 oats Allowed 30. K. R. Knutson, 100 bu. Andrew 11. 55 wheal, 40 Int. oats ..Allowed Kiiiamn'1 A111Iirose, GO lm. al. -1U bu oats, Ulowe'ti (-'has. Uatalnl'f, Rejected 'mi. ••'si. win :.D. I". G. Smith, .... Rejected A. Drager. .100 bushels Allow'eil outs, G. Thomas liarr oT. li. -J. Jirown, i.iarlev, 40 bit. oat I 10 bu. Allowed This being the day set for tile opening of llie bids for culverts, llie bids for metal culverts were opened and were as follows: Gilbert .Manufact uring ('o. Hennepin Bridge (,'o., Sioux Falls .Metal Culvert Co. C. Iv .Mc(iowan Lumber Co. Wussel Grader Manufacturing Co. Jjurgcr ..Manufacturing Co. .Marshall Wells Hardware Co. I Mead and llains. Gilbert .Manufacturing Co., be ing the lowest bidder 011 steel culverts, 011 mot ion their but was accepted at the following prices Diameter Halite Price 12 16 15 Hi .50 IS lti .04 24 Hi .7-') 14 :i0 14 ,'J4 I 11 1 1 1 .-'is 14 1.47 4S .14 1.7S 4M 12 2,: .s GO 12 1 72 12 4.21 'The bids for eonereie culverts were opened ami Were as follows: E. T. llaugsjaa. 2 ft. culverts (a t-iO cents per cubic foot, -i feet (a 75 cents and 4 I'eet (a 70 cent-: per cubic foot. Sisseton Stone Co., 30 cents per cubic foot for all sizes with a haul up to three miles, and 3 1 cents extra, per foot for every 2 miles haul thereafter. .Motion made and seconded that we accept the Sisseton Ston company's bid for concrete cul verts at 30 cents per cubic foot for the iiist three miles haul of material and 3Co cents more per cubic, foot for each 2 miles" ad ditional haul for what concrete culvert's the county may see fit to build, and 4(5 cents per cubic foot fur the wings 011 steel 111 verts, including the laying of said steel culverts. .Motion carried. The board then took up the seed grain applications. 38. Win. Keek. (iO bu. of Durum wheat All owe'. 3!). Iv M. Keek, 70 bu. of Durum, 40 bu. oats. Allowed 10. Minnie Gilli.land. 40 bu. of I'lax All 41. 1 Ieiirv Burk, 110 bu. 42. A. W. McFarhind, 100 bu. Durum wheat Allowed 4. 11. A. Kggebrat en. 50 bu. wheat Allowed 44. G. O. Benson. 50 bu oats 25 bu. Durum wheat ...Allowed 45. Herman Fitz Rejected -Hi. Frank .Miller, 50 bu. Durum. 50 bu. blue stem Allowed 47. Henry Otto, Rejected 48. Thorsten Thorson, Rejected On motion, the board adjourn ed to the 4th of April, 1!)12. Attest Signed: J. A. Ray, M. L. Sateren. County Auditor. Chairman Sisseton. S. D. April 4th, 1912. The board of county eomniis soners met as per adjournment, all members present. Applications for seed grain were takei: up as follows: 49. Ed Crocker 50. A. Miller, 50 J. and passed upon bu oats Allowed 51. Ella Bul'fum, 25 bu. Velvet chaff wheat .... Allowed 52. C. F. AYileok, 25 bu. vel vet chaff wheat, Allowed 53. Andrew From, 50 bu. !wheat, 30 bu. oats, .... Allowed 54. Wm. McNerney, 50 bu. oats, Allowed 55. J. R. Price, 40 bu. Velvet chaff wheat ....Allowed 56. M. B. Wilson, 60 bu. oats, 30 bu barley, .... Allowed 57. B. II. Blanvelt, 30 bu. Velvet chaff wheat, 10 u. flax, Allowed 58. Fritz OsJund, 75 bu. Velvet chaff wheat, 35 bu. oats Allowed 59. John P. Vinge,.. Rejected 60. Thomas Hovland, 25 bu. Durum, 5 bu flax Allowed A. Ray, 90 bu. of Durum wheat, Allowe'd 62. Adolph W. Carlson, Rejected 63. G. T. Eide, 40 bu. oats Allowed 64. T. A. Berry, 15 bu. wheat Allowed 65. H. R. Gilliland, 30 bu. Durum, GO bu. oats, .. Allowed lib. Thomas Oddcn, 50 bu. Blue stem wheat, Allowed 07. Grace „M. Thomas, 75 bu. velvet chaff, Allowed (JS. \Y. W. Casey, 10 bu. .10 I hi. flax, Allowei (i'J. llans Da Ismail,. 50 bu. Durum, 50 bu. oats, .... Allowed 70. Louis Ecklaw, .... Rejected The beard 'drew two hundred names to be used ill drawing the jury for the -May term ol circuit court. to the village of Ortley, for all elections. On motion, the polling place for Ortley township hence forth shall lie in the village of Ortley, as per request of said voters. O11 motion the board ad journed mil id April 71it, 1012. Attest Signed •I. A. Kay, M. L. Satorn, County Auditor. Chairman Sisseton, S. D., April 5th, ID 12. The board of county commis sioners met as per adjournment, till members present. The State Savings Bank of Ortley and the Farmers Security Bank of Peever asked lo be de signated as county depositaries. Lor the saiine amount that thex had for the year 1D11. On motion they were appi Jilted as county depositaries. The coiinmissioners spent, the rest of the forenoon looking over the bank bonds. They not be ing all in. they deferred action upon them until the .May 7th meeting. The afternnoon was spent in viewing roads, for bridges. O11 motion, the board adjourn ed to April (5th, 1D12. Attest: Signed: J. A. Ray, M. •.were designated as places lor White Rock postof I'ice. Vernon, front pos1 office. owedjviir. front door of the post off ic Bos.sko or (Henry Hanson's) SI-] 1 1 of section 13, township 127 Range 52. EITington, front dooi posl office. Sisseton, llOl't ll side of 1 1*1* court, housi square. Peever, front door of Un postofl'ice. Wilmot, front door of postofl'ice. Corona, front door of 1 he postoffi.ee. Summit, front door of tin1 postofl'ice. Ortley, front door of postofl'ice. The following bills were allow ed or rejected. M. L. Miekelson, commits sioners per diem and mile age, $44.50 S. L. RiMiiund, commission er's per diem and milage 32.60 Harry Granbois, commission er's perd iem and mileage 56.0C Harry Granbois, commission er's per diem and milage looking after county poor 16.00 M. L. Satern, Commisssion er's per diem and mileage Ever Larson, salary i'o.r months of January, Febru ary and March, as super intendant of the poor farm and liire'd girl's wages $262.00 Edward Lee, wolf scalp .. 2.00 J. B. Mobam, 9 wolf scalps, asked $18.00 not wolf, but fox Rejected A. L. Romo, 2 wolf scalps 4.00 M. F. Barrett, one wolf scalp 2.00 Berner Loftfield, making plans for concrete culverts and approving plans for steel steel bridges, 17.50 S. W. Burdine, official printing 8.05 H. P. Knappen, official printing and office sup plies, lowed, 7.55 Emil Lough, conducting teach ers examination, 4.75 Farmers State Lank of Sis seton, court script, .... 38.40 Geo. C. Baglev Elevator Co., flour and coal for -Mrs. Upon request id' the voters, 1 lie expense, .Miss Bertha Stevens township supervisors of Ortley. poor 3(5.75 township asked that the election ']], \y. Barrett, mcdicnes for polling pace.be.changed,from the Stevens l'amly S.40 school house ol! the township C. \V. Eogarty, medical ser- Mackey, Win. Spearback, and .Mrs. Reno, poor ti.'Jo N. i'\ Osborn, wood for court house, ii.50 Ole Opsal, cleaning cess pool anil draying, 63.00 Bertha M. Reiiuer, hospital vices and operation for .Mrs. Stevens an'd daughter, poor, asked !rl2'J allowed 1)2.25 11. Bollnian, merchandise for .Mrs. Reno, poor, and Liz zie Makky, -J. in D. F. Stevens, office ex penses, 27.20 1. Stadslad, states filings, ex press, box rent and per diem in court, 43.!J5 .John S. Swanson. boarding prisoners (515.00 oil 11 S. Swai^on, criminal work, 415,!) 0. T. Axness & Co. coal for court house and poor 182.22 p. J. Turner, salary for sec orid quarter, and box rent 301.28 'J. A. Ray, express, post-age and expense to auditors meeting 60.01 John S. Swanson, collecting 20.40 delinquent taxes Sisseton Mill & Light Co.. lights for court house, I Sisseton Mill Light Co., Merchandise for poor, I Bonnie Andrews, postage, 1 1 L. Sateren, County Auditor Chairman Sisseton, S. 1). April (t.li, UU2. delivering coal The boar'd of county commis-j on holding chattel mortgage sale-: The affidaavit of front door of door of the Diamond, fnnl post of I'ice. Crawford, front post office. motion granted. lie 1 he of the A nice lot 7.45 W. L. Johnson, official printing, aske'd $12.80, al lowed 10.35 H. P. Knappen, official printing, asked $10.50, al- lil. SO 15.70 express, box rent and 'liiile- age 53.82 |F. E. (.ranger transcript. of testimony 5.00 American Sanitary Products Co., sanitary products for I the court house 21.00 aut sioners met as per adjournment. j[ Kuappen, office sup Members present. M. L. Satcrn p]j,. 43..10 S. L. Remund, M. L. Miekelson. application of Lena Sta and Harry Granbois. 1 On motion, the following places supplies to poor, .. 5.155 pleton asking for 30 bu. of wheat aU( bu. of oats, for seed was dm IJ 11 e, asking for a refund of -^5.11, lor an over-tax on lis personal jir^ perry in Lake township, was presented. On motion, the re fund order was granted for $5.11 M. L. Stavig offered the coun ty of Roberts the original taxes for lots 13, .14, 15, 1G. 17. and I*, block IIS. of Sisseton City on which thi' Counly of .Roberts holds tax 'deeds. On motion, a Quit Claim deed was ordered drawn by the proper authorities to M. L. Stavig. for the .+(i3.(j-, the amiount of the original tax, for said lots. The Board adjourned to the 7th of May, 1912, Attest: Signed: J. A. Ray, M. L. Sateren, County Auditor. Chairman Strayed. From my place in Harmon township, on March 31, 1912, one black nia.re colt, 2 years old, and one dark iron gray (nearly black) mare colt, one year obi: the latter has white stripe in face. Any information leading the recovery of these animals will be suitably rewarded. Henry Kaufman, Diamond, S. D. of X. CLUB^, ruled stationery at the Standard for 6 cents a bo* —while it lasta. •0pr-ORTUN:T:rs In Men'sClub\havenoJ Shoumby theGveat h«s [business NO Of txes FURMsVfc^ MEMPHIS TO TO SELL GRIND This ic citizens* movement* to furnish in* formation by the distribution of selected publica tions like the Magazine, "The South Today" and other reliable literature, to induce the home seeker to come to the Memphis district, where for from $15 TO $75 AN ACRE one can purchase land of deep alluvial richness, on which can be grown from two to five crops a year. This is the land of health, good roads, good schools, and out of door work the year round, where Cotton is worth $75 p«r acre, Com $60. Hay $100, Potatoes $200, Strawberries $500. etc. We have the best produce markets in the world. The low priced rich land* in the Memphis district will advance rapidly. No such values exist in any other portion of the country. Send for "The South Today" and other literature free. Send right now. Industrial Commissioner, BmisMS Mm'* CM» Memphis, Toad.