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DIDN'T CLOSE THE WINDOW
Impulsive Man Had Not Sufficiently Reasoned Before He Under took the Task. It was a balmy (lay, but too many windows were open in some of the street ears. One man, who had a cold, was especially annoyed by an open window next to the seat in front of him on a westbound Euclid car. He leaned over and spoke to the man who was sitting by the open window. "Excuse me, sir," he said, "but that open window is too much for the rest of us." "I'm sorry," answered the other, "but 1 guess you'll have to stand it." "I wish you would close it at once, sir!" "Can't accommodate you." "Do you mean to say that you re fuse to close the window?" "I sure do." "If you don't close it, I will." "I got a bet that you won't do any thing of the kind." "1 ask you once more, sir, will you close that window?" "No, sir, 1 will not. What are you going to do about it?" "I'm going to come over to do it myself." "I'd like to see you try it." "Oh, you would, would you? Well, I'll show you." That was the first move of the game. The objector went over and began tugging at the window, while the whole car watched his prowess. But the other mao said: "Well, why don't you shut it?" "It—uh appears uh—to be stuck." "It is stuck. I tried to close it be fore you came in. Now go back and eit down." But the other fellow didn't. He got «fl the car.—Cleveland Plain Dealer. WORSE THAN 'TALKY' BARBER Jim's Sad Experience With Deaf and Dumb Wielder of the Keen Blade. Here is one that was told by Prof. W. W. Daniels of the Interstate com merce commission, in substantiation of the old saying that one may go far ther and fare worse: Some time ago a fellow-jitizen ram bled down the street looking as if his face had been run through a cornshell er. There were patches on his cheek, patches on his chin, and other jabs and scratches intervening. Down on the corner he met a friend. "Holy Smoke!" exclaimed the friend, sizing up the lacerated party. "What have you been doing with yourself, Jim?" "It happened this way," explained Jim. "I got good and tired of talk ing tonsorial artists, and hearing of •A shop where there was a deaf and dumb barber, I started out to investi gate. "Did you find him?" wonderlngly in terposed the friend. "Yes," was the sad rejoinder of Jim, "and this is what he did to me while trying to shave me and talk with his Angers at the same time."—Philadel phia Telegraph. Microphone Detector. In France an ingenious application has been made of the microphone in order to detect firedamp in mines. This is the principle of the applica tion: If sound waves from two pipes of equal pitch impinge on microphones connected in series with a telephone, •a clear note is heard but if one of the pipes emits a slightly different note, beats will be heard in the telephone. Here is the application: One pipe is placed in the mine, the other above ground, and they are blown simultaneously. If the air in the mine is charged with firedamp, it will produce a different note from that produced by clear air, owing to the difference of density, and in conse quence a series of beats in the tele phone gives warning of the presence of firedamp. The same apparatus is very sensitive to the presence of coal gas.—The Sunday Magazine. Road to Promotion. All employes look forward to the day when they will gain promotion— when their wages will be raised, and they will be given greater responsibili ties and more.authority. Too many employes set the day of their promotion upon the basis of the time they have been with the insti tution. That Is wrong basis. Time is eternal and it is cheap. There is an over-production of it. To be worthy of promotion you must make good—do your work, fin ish the task, no matter how humble. Some day you expect to be weighted with responsibility and clothed with authority to give orders. Regardless of the line of your employment, you must demonstrate that you have the strength to carry responsibility. Before you are entitled to give or ders, you must demonstrate your abil ity to take orders—and to execute them. Looking at Egg Through Knot Hole. In Flarm and Fireside a contributor tells, as follows, how he candles his eggs: "A knot hole a little over one inch In diameter in the sunny side of our barn serves as a very satisfactory egg teeter for duck, geese and hen eggs. With the doors closed and the win dows blinded the room is quite dark, and by holding the egg close to the opening when the sun is shining brightly I am able to .determine,.after five days of incubation, the fertile from the infertile." BRIEF BITS OF WILD LIFE Pigeon the Victim of Hawk—Young Rabbits in Imminent Danger From Their Many Enemies. Scene of a little tragedy. On a bit of ground plowed last fall, a sprinkle of small feathers showed where a pigeon had been devoured. That it had been done by a hawk, not a crow, was shown by the few kernels of corn which the crop had contained, lying untouched. Pound a nest containing three young rabbits in the field. The mother, se lecting a small hollow, deposits her young therein, first lining it with fur plucked from her own coat, and cov ering all over with a bunch of the same. So long as the grass, or rather weeds, stood they were well protect ed, but mower and rake had both passed over, carried away the crop, and done no further harm beyond dragging the fur to one side, thus giv ing a clew to the nursery. I looked in at them, then introduced a finger. Until this was done they were still as if dead, but soon as the touch of alien flesh was felt they began suc cessively to kick with startling vio lence. Too young to run (they were about the size of large mice, and prob ably but a day or two old), this must have been to terrify the intending captor. The coat was thick and rath er darker than the adult's ears, paws and tail yellow and bare the eyes closed, like those of young kittens. Covering them up, I departed, but when last seen they were trying to kick oft the blankets. Their fate seemed very uncertain. Such choice morsels for dog, crow or hawk can hardly escape. Seemingly they would have been safer in the thicket close by, but I suppose maternal instinct may be trusted.—From a Farmer's Note Book," by C. E. D. Phelps. NOT FAVORITE OF FORTUNE One-Time Owner of Prodigiously Val uable Oil Land Surely Has a Kick Coming. 1 "That good luck and bad luck go hand in hand in the oil business is demonstrated in the case of Fred Bos ton, who is now tending bar in a Jop lin. Mo., saloon at a salary of $10 a week," said J. S. Cook, an Oklahoma oil operator, at the Shoreham, accord ing to the Washington Post. "When the Indian Territory Oil com pany, which had a blanket lease on the Osage nation lands, was forced by financial necessity to sublet part of its holdings," continued Mr. Cook. "Bos ton was given a sublease on a section abutting on the Arkansas river, near Cleveland, Okla. He was unable to develop his lease, and sold a half in terest in his deal to Ii. V. Foster, pres ident of the Indian Territory company, who always held out a helping hand to the little fellows. But. bad days came to the parent company, and neither Boston nor Foster could develop the 640 acre tract, and, as a last resort, the lease was sold to the Gipsy Oil company. "This company began to drill in the spring of 1913, and late last summer a gusher was struck. 'Producers' fol lowed one another, and what is now known as the Boston pool became the wonder of the oil world. The lease which Boston parted from for a paltry few hundred dollars cannot now be es timated in value, and the value of one hour's production exceeds Boston's salary for an entire year." Curious Custom. The custom known as "Whuppitty Scorie" was celebrated by the youth of Lanark, Scotland, recently, when the bell in the town's steeple rang out for the first time at 6 o'clock after a five months' silence. From March 1 to September 30 of each year the bell rings for some minutes at ti p. m., but during the remainder of the year it remains silent. On the occasion of the ringing of the bell for the first time the young people gather at the cross, each carrying a stringed cap in his hand. When the bell tolls the boys run in procession round the parish church. They do this three times and then a rush is made for New Lanark, for the purpose of meet ing the boys of that village to engage in combat, the weapons used being the stringed caps. The Luxury of Sugar. Sugar was considered an article ok luxury in Europe until tea and coffee became usual articles of diet. Sugar was then used to sweeten these bev erages, and so gradually came to have a prominent part in the daily diet. Before the days of sugar, much more meat was eaten and the drinking of alcoholic beverages was much more common. The fair maiden who could not, with impunity, drink a pint of ale for breakfast, was unusual. Per haps, in spite of the fact that most of us eat too much of it, sugar la a blessing. Even over-sweetened cof fee and cereal covered with sugar sound more beneficial than a pint of ale and half a pound of beef for break fast. American Flag Association. The "American Flag association" was organized February 17, 3898, its motto being: "One flag, one country, one God over all." Its object Is to se cure "National and state legislation for the protection of the flag from de grading and desecrating uses," and to secure a general observance of June 14 as "Flag Day," because on that day, In 1777, congress adopted the present United States flag—the Stars and Stripes. Gems In Verse THE REAL WASHINGTON. LKT US have done with tules that limn George Washington a sera phlm. He was no pale. scetic aalnt Such as old masters loveil to paint. The man who set our country free Was big and strong, as men should be A friend whom any man could prize A goodly sight for women's eyes, A soldier brave, a statesman wise. Who faced whatever fortune came And did his best and played the game. That was the sort ok man to fling Defiance at a tyrant king, A man of glowing flesh and blood, Who had no fear of storm and flood. Who held his tattered army knit By simple human nerve and grit, Who dared at times to take a chance And conquered f:ite and circum stance. This mortal made of common sod Is greater than a demigod That we have worshiped overlong In foolish story and in song. Let us forget our mawkish awe And see him as his fellows saw, A member of the human clan And every single inch a MAN! —Bertor. Braley. Although I'm Just a common man And ordinary clay. His cheek to mine he's glad to rub Before 1 go away, And every night when I return He's glad as he can be. And, though but little 1 may earn. He toddles up to me. To come to me he'd leave a king If one were sitting near. Unto no millionaire he'd cling If only I'd appear. And, though but tattered rags are mine. When I get home to tea. With eyes that fairly beam and shine, He toddles up to me. And so I've reason to be glad And reason to rejoice. It's worth the world to be a dad. To be a baby's choice. There is no prize fame can bestow. No joy can ever be So real as when, with eyes aglow, He toddles up to me. —Detroit Free Press. THE EXILE'S SONG. MOW 1 tread the city broad ways, and my heart Is sore. For the morn calls and the wind calls, but I go there no more. And I'm tain for the lonely road and wild gray sky And the screaming note in a curlew's throat as the rain comes rushing by. |~iUT beyond the stream of traffic is stream 1 love. And the old hills, the dear hills, and the stars that climb above. And It's there my heart is roaming while I stand in the street. And I hear the sigh of a dream gone by when the world was sweet. TITY soul is sick of cities and the crafty strife, And if gold were all and greed were all 1 have had enough of life. But always, night and day, 1 hear the moorland music creep To the heart that shall be aching till 1 sleep. —Thomas Moult In London Academy. FEAR. HAVE •x WHILE. H«.WORTHa doesn't care that I'm not rich Or that I'm poorly dressed. That I'm toller In the ditch He hasn't even guessed. My faults that other people know He doesn't even see. For every night, with eyes aglow. He toddles up to me. done with Fear! He has not been your friend, Nor has he been your honest, outright foe, Who met you face to face and challenged you To draw your sword the better man to show. For Fear has walked with you in friendly guise. Yet dragging back, retarding your ad vance With poisoned weapon hidden in his sleeve, With furtive eyes alert for stolen chance. Have done with Fear! Turn suddenly and sure To strike him down with final, fatal blow. March on alone. There skulks not at your heels That traitorous friend, your silent, stealthy foe. —Vlyn Johnson. HOPE. HEARD a bird sing In the dark of December, A magical thing And sweet to remember. "We are nearer to spring Than v/e were in September," I heard a bird sing In the dark of December. —Oliver Herford In Century. THROUGH THE SNOW. fared together through the snow. How should we heed the driving blast? I felt her heart beat warm below The arm that held me fast, And in her cheeks the laughing blood Bloomed like a rose beneath her hood. trOW should I miss the summer flowers With such a flower so sweet and close? White winter seems a friend of ours, And all his drifted snows But hint of winter snows the.t hide Here in the breast against my side. fiOME singing April soon or late For all the frozen world, for me. Oh, I can well aft'ord to wait For bloom and bird and bee If only she and 1 can go Walking forever through the snow! Richard Le Gallienne. TWILIGHT. rpHE day lived out its life in splendid peace content. The placid, rounded hours in sunny state were spent. And must this radiant presence grow less bright? Almost too fair and lofty spumed this day of glow Until—a hush, low sob filled with love and woe— The ''ay, its itfju! astir, had met the night ^Louise Townsend NicholL VARIABLE Great Suns Whose Bniltance Regularly Wanes and Waxes. There are many stars of the sky which vary in brightness in a re markable manner. Every star is a great hot sun, millions of times larger than our little earth, and some of the stars which look to us to be single stars are really two suns so close together that they look to us like one. Sometimes one of those stars is very bright and re volving around this bright star there is another which is less bright. And sometimes the darker star passes regularly between the bright one and us, and so hides the bright star partly from us. In the northern sky there is such a system called Algol or the demon star. Every two days and twenty hours the darker companion hides the bright sun partly from our view and so cuts off five-sixths of the light of the bright star. We see the star growing dimmer and dimmer for about three hours. At the end of this time the center of the darker star is directly in front of the cen ter of the bright one. Then the darker one moves steadily past the star, and in time the star that had been dimmed shines out in full brightness. A little less than three days afterward we see the same thing happen again. But none of these stars shine so bright as first magnitude stars, nor are they made so faint by the dark er star as to be wholly invisible to the eye. Sometimes a new star blazes out in the heavens. Perhaps, when this happens, a dark star has plowed through one of the nebulous clouds in space, and its surface is thus heated by friction from a dark crust to a brilliant vaporous mass. Or perhaps, when we see such a new star it means that two stars have run into each other or passed very near each other. Exactly what hap pens when one of these new stars shines out we do not yet know.— Professor Eric Doolittle in St. Nich olas. BAITED THE BRAGGART. A Fencing Master Whose Boasting Got Him In Trouble. A fencing master appeared in Boston one winter in the seven teenth century and had erected a stage on which he strutted up and down at certain hours, defying any and all to engage in sword play with him. After this had gone on for sev eral days and the man's boasts had become insufferable Judge William UoiFe and Edward Whalley, the fa mous English political refugees, disguised themselves in rustic cos tume and appeared before the al leged master. Goffe held in one hand a cheese wrapped in a napkin, which he used for a shield, and car ried a mop which he had soaked in muddy water as he passed a puddle. Thus equipped, the judge mount ed the stage. The fencer railed at him for his impudence, asked him what business he had there and or dered him to begone. The judge stood Iiis ground. Then the gladi ator made a pass at him with his sword to drive him off. The judge received the sword in his cheese and held it there till he had drawn the mop over the professor's face and smeared him with mud. An other plunge by the enraged maitre d'armes resulted similarly, this time the judge poking the 'mop into his eyes. This operation was repeated a third time. Then the maddened fencing mas ter dropped his ordinary sword and grabbed up a huge broadsword. Thereupon the judge satd: "Stop, sir! Hitherto, you see, I have only played with you and not attempted to do you_liarm,_but Jf J^OW is the time to order your wall paper and begin fixing up your home. Nut alone in this line are we able to help you make your home attractive, but we have in a splendid new line of Lace Curtains, Drapery Couch Covers, and Trimmed Spanish Leather Rocke:-. 1 also handle the Free Sewing Machine, the best machine on the market. Come in ami loA th^se goods over before buying. T. W. CAHILL Sisseton, S. D. you come at me now with the broad sword know that 1 will certain!}' take your life!" The master was impressed by the firmness with which the judge spoke, for lie dropped the point of his weapon and exclaimed: "Who can you be? You must be either Gofl'e, Whalley or the devil, for there was no other man in England that could beat me!"—Boston Post. Kept Them All on Edge. One of the favorite devices of Lord Nelson when ships were cruis ing in company was to signal to a given craft that Lieutenant Smith or Staff Engineer Brown or Captain of Marines Jones WHS to take charge, on the assumption that all his su perior officers on board had been put out of action. The author of "Trafalgar Refought" says that the result was very good, for no one knew when he might be called upon to take command, and every one therefore made a point of trying to make himself fit to carry out the duty should it ever be assigned to him. The Question at the Altar. S I a a daughter. Father—Can you divorce her the manner to which she has Wrong Both Waya. "What is that tune you were playing on the bugle last night?" "That was not a bugle," replied the cornet virtuoso rather stiffly. "Oh, well, if you're so particular as all that it didn't sound like a tune ei ther."—Exchange. Take It In Time just as Scores of Sisseton People Have. Waiting doesn't pay. If you neglect kidney back ache, Urinary troubles often fol low. Act in time by curing the kidneys. Doan's Kidney Pills are especially for weakened kid neys. Many people in this locali ty recommend them. Here is one case: Mrs. William Bauman, Web ster, ti. D., says: "The first I noticed that my kidneys were out of order was when wy back began to pain me. I had a dull, heavy ache in the small of my back. When I tried to straighten after stooping, sharp pains dart ed through me. I had severe headaches and dizzy spells. The action of my kidneys was irregu lar and distressing. I doctored but didn't get relief until Ij tried Doan's Kidney Pills. After I had used a few doses, Iimproved. Now I have very,) little trouble from my kidneys or back." Price 5oc, at all dealers, don't simply Task for a kidney remedy—get Doan's Kidney Pills—the same that |Mrs. Bau mann had. Foster-Milburn Co., Props., Buffalo, N. Y. There is more Catarrh in this section of the country than all bther diseases put together, -and until the last few years was supposed to be Incurable. For a great many years doctors pronounced It a local disease and prescribed local remedies, and by constantly failing to cure with local treatment, pronounced It incurable. Sci ence has proven Catarrh to be a consti tutional disease, and therefore requires constitutional treatment. Hall's Catarrh Cure, manufactured by F. J. Cheney & Co., Toledo, Ohio, is the only Constitu tional cure on the market. It is taken in ternally in doses from 10 drops to a tea epoonful. It acts directly on the Mood and mucous surfaces of the system. They offer one hundred dollars for any case It falls to cure. Send for circulars and tes timonials. Address: P. J. CHENEY CO., TcAedo, O. Sold by Druggists, 75c. Tike Ball's Family Pills for constipation. WW rn ings in been accustomed?—New York Sun. *3 HN IF UK HURIS USE SALTS FOB K1HCVS Bet lew meat if Kidneys feel like lee* or Bledder bothers you—Meet forms eric acid. Most folk» forget that the kidneys^ like the bowel», .get sluggish and clogged end need a flushing occasionally, else we have backache and dull misery in the kidney region, severe headaches, rheu matic twinges, torpid liver, acid stomach, sleeplessness and all sorts of bladder die orders. You simply must keep your kidney» active and clean, and the moment you feel an ache 'or pain in the kidney region, get about four ounces of ad, Salts from any good drug store here, take a tablespoonful in a glass of water before breakfast for a few days an* your kidneys will then act fine. This famous salts is made from the acid ol grapes and lemon juice, combined with lithia, and is harmless to flush clogged kidneys and stimulate them to normal activity. It also neutralizes the acid» in the urine so it no longer irritate», thus ending bladder disorders. Jad Salts is harmless inexpensive makes a delightful effervescent lithia» water drink which everybody should take now and then to keep their kidneys clean, thus avoiding serious complications. A well-known local druggist says ue sells lots of Jad Salts to folks who believe in overcoming kidney trouble while it is only trouble. COMB SAGE TEA IN LIFELESS, GRAY HJUR Look young! Common garden Sage and Sulphur darkens so naturally nobody can tell Grandmother kept her hair beautifully darkened, gloesy and abundant with brew of Sage Tea and Sulphur. When ever her hair fell out or took on the* dull, faded or streaked appearance, this simple mixture was applied with won derful effect. By asking at any drug store for "Wyeth's Sage and Sulphur Hair Remedy," you will get a large bottle of this old-time recipe, ready to use, for about 60 cents. This simple mixture can be depended upon to restore natural color and beauty to the hair and is splendid for dandruff, dry, itchy scalp .and falling hair. A well-known downtown druggist Bays everybody uses Wyeth's Soge and Sul phur, because it darkens eo naturally and evenly that nobody can tell it has been applied—it's so easy to use, too. You simply dampen a comb or soft brush and draw it through your hair, taking one strand at a time. By morning the gray hair disappears after another appli cation or two, it is restored to its natural color and looka_ glossy, eoft and abun dant. FOR TIE SORE, ACHING FEET Ah! what relief. No more tired feet no more burning feet, swollen, bad smell ing, sweaty feet. No more pain in corn» callouses or bunions. No matter what' ails your feet or what under the sun you've tried without getting relief. just use "TIZ." "TIZ" draws out all the poi sonous exuda tions which puff up the feet "TIZ" is mag ical "TIZ" is grand "TIZ" will cure your foot troubles so you'll never limp or draw up your face in pain. Your shoes won't seem tight and your feet will never, never hurt or get sore, swollen or tired. Get a 25 cent box at any drug Och department store, and get relief. Hand la or phone in—newi items, no matter how email. Tb» Standard wanta all of the hap pening of the community and eounty.