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THE JJER ALD.
BY BI/ANK & BLANK. R"ES.SIX TOK SFP.NO:: -!, DAKOTA IT IT l.Vr Your Sn Advanco. is said that tlio new laws of Ohio relating lo married persons rendor ob solete twelve ponderous volumes on dower and curtesy, and thereby greatly simplify the labors of the legal fraternity in eases involving the property rights of husband and wife. is said that London is to liave a, "hygienic restaurant," where dyspep tics -will dine. "When they enter thev will tell their symptoms to one of the attendant doctors, who will plan out proper dinners for them which they will then procede to eat in a prescribed manner. FAKMKKS ture give more attention to raising mules. Tor a century mules for doing farm work have been obtained from Kentucky and other states, and have called for the expenditure of largo suras. Farmer: have lately found out that mules can be raised at homo for umdj less than they can bo bought. PKOK. E. L. Yor.'.RANK, tho lately-de- ceascd editor and founder of tho Popu lar £ci(nee Monthly, left behind him many rare and valuable manuscripts, besides a large correspondence, which includes many letters from Tyndall, Huxley, Darwin, Lubbock, Agassi/., and Bain. These are to be edited and pub lished bv AW J. and Eliza F. Youmans. U'T. LKGAKE J. "MAX'S inhumanity to man makes countless millions mourn," no doubt but it is very little worse in that ro •spect than man's idiocy- in koeiiing letters which he ought to burn. In the Codman will case under examination in Boston 514 letters have been produced to date, and there are almost as many more coming. They were all written to the deceased Codman by a woman who was not his wife, and there is scarcely one of them which a fairly intelligent married man would dare to keep a minute after reading it, supposing that a fairly intelligent married man could possibly receive such letters. It is not at all surprising that the will is at tacked. Tin: Carson Appeal gives tho fol lowing illustration of trial by jury in Nevada: A few days ago there was a small civil suit tried before the justice of Pizen Switch—tho same man who decided the anti-treat law unconstitu tional. It is always customary in such cases to have the winner of the suit pay tho fees. The plaintiff, a big, raw boned rancher, was called on to pay the jury of six $2 apiece. He immedi ately stood up in court and queried: "Pay the jury $12?" "Yes," replied the court. "Look-u-here, judge, ain't this sorter piling it on thick I just paid four of them fellers $20 apiece. Do they want tho earth, summer fallowed?" The dead silence in the room was broken by a slight snicker from the defendant's attorney. The bailiff called everybody io order, and tho jury iilod out without asking for fees. Tii:v. LYNN MCGKKW, A CALIFORNIA* of Mononga- heia, Pa., suffered a severe attack of fever last fall. During his convales cence, being unable to preach, he un dertook to utilize the abundant grape crop which grew about the parsonage hillside by making some unfermented •wine for communion purposes, and got nearly a barrel of pure grape-juice as a result. The wine fermented so that it was no longer fit for tho purpose in tended, and the good clergyman turned it over to the wall to make itself into vinegar. A few weeks ago the local owl gang smelled out tho wine, broke into the clerical cellar, and tapped the barrel. An arrest followed, and now the work-house stares certain young wine-bibbers in tho face, much to the surprise and annoyance of the preacher, who is kept busy explaining to his 'temperance friends how he came to liave a barrel of wine in his temper ance cellar. dozen children has hit upon a scheme by which the youngsters can enjoy themselves to their hearts' content and at the same time do a bit of work for which their parent would have to pay heavily were he to employ some other agency. He lives in Los Angeles County, where he owns a large tract of land which requires constant irrigation to make it productive, and as his bank account is not large he had considerable troublo in obtaining sufficient water for his land. He dug a sixty-foot well, put in a clicap pump, and rigged at some distance one of those big family swings common in pleasuro gardens. "Here, you little rascals," said Pircli to his little fishes, "come out here and get in this swiug. I'm going to give you something to play with." In live minutes the children were flying back and forth through tho air. The pump worked up and down, making a merry tune, and a four-inch stream of water flowed from the well. The children don't know that they arc working, as tlio well is not in sight and the swing connects with tho pump by an iron rod. The youngsters raise enough water dur ing the day to irrigate a large tract of land. THE in Louisiana vill in the fu XYI1. AVA^KEB, Deputy Collector of the Port of Charleston, S. C., who was wounded at Appomattox, has just had the ball removed. It was so firmly imbedded that it required considerable force to remove it. It was found to be split from its apex almost down to its base, and in the split is a portion of Capt. Walker's hip-bone as firmlv fixed as the tilling of a tooth. Tin: Queen of Roumania fell into a throne by falling down stairs. When there was no kingdom of Roumania in existence, she had laughingly said: "I do not want to marry unless I can be Queen of Roumania." Running down tho palace stairs at Berlin one day her foot slipped and she would probably have been killed but for Prince Charles, of Hohenzollern, who saw lier danger and caught her in his outstretched arms. AVhen Roumania chose him as a ruler he claimed tho Princess as his bride. interesting discussion now going on as to the identity of the P. S. Xey, who taught schools in the Carolinas and A'irginia half a century ago with the celebrated Marshal Xey, of Frauce, who according to history, was executed in Luxembourg Garden, December 7, 1S15, revives recollections of tho pleas ant fiction which ran through the pages of rutnam's Monthly soiuo thirty years ago or more, in which it was sought to identify the lie v. Eleazer AVilliams with the lost Bourbon, Louis The discussion was an ingen ious one, but hardly more so that the present effort to make it appear that Marshal Xey, instead of being shot, escaped to this country and became a Southern pedagogue. Bight at this point, however, there is a missing link of vital consequence. History tells us that Marshal Xey was an illiterate man. At best he received only a scanty edu cation, which ended when he was 17 years of age. At IS lie entered the army and began the career of a soldier, which was only terminated by death. He had no opportunities to study any lessons except the stern ones of battle. Even if the statement be correct, that he camo to this country in 1810, tho year after history says he was shot, he had no time to perfect his education, for according to the new history he was teaching Latin, Greek, and the higher mathematics after he arrived here. Men at the age of 50, without any pre vious acquaintance with dead languages and mathematics, do not acquire them in a year or two, and especially with such proficiency as to teach them. There can be 110 OBITT'AHY who is the father of a question that Marshal Nov was an uneducated man, that all the instruction he received—which was of a very crude kind—dates back of his 17th year, and that from his 17th to his 40th year he was in contiuous active military service, with no opportunity to study. It will now be necessary to show that Marshal Xey was a finely-ed ucated man prior to tho time he is al leged to have come to this country, or that in some mysterious way he was educated after he arrived here. If that can be shown an important link will be supplied in the question of identity but even then it will be difficult to con vince any one that the Marshal Xey, who was shot by his Bourbon enemies, pronounced dead by Bourbon surgeons, buried in Pere la Chaise, and whoso memoirs were published by his own widow and children, escaped the pen alty of death by his own shrewdness, fled from France, and lived many years as a school-teacher in the Carolinas. FUNNY STORIES. Ax old farmer employed a son of Erin to work for him on his farm. Pat was constantly misplacing the end boards in the cart—the front board be hind and the tall board in front—which made the old gentleman very irritable. To prevent blunders, ho resolved to distinguish each board by some sign or notice thereon. Accordingly, he painted on both boards a large "Bthen, call ing Pat to him and showing him the boards, he said: "Now, you blockhead, you need make no mistake, as they are both marked. This (pointing to one board) is for before and that (indi cating the tail-board) is for behind." Whereupon the old gentleman marched off with great dignity. A SWIMMING-SCHOOL in Frankfort-on tlie-Main announces in English "Swim ming instructions given by a teacher of both sexes." An allusion to swimming reminds us that at Dieppe, that famous bathing-place, there are police estab lished whose duty it is to rescue per sons from danger. This notice is said to have been recently issued to them: "The bathing police are requested, when a lady is in danger of drowning, to seize her by the dress and not by tho hair, which oftentimes remains in their grasp." notices have not always the solemnity about their composition which is thought desirable. A country sculptor was ordered to engrave on a tombstone the following words: "A virtuous woman is a crown to licr hus band. The stone, however, being small, he engraved on it: "A virtuous woman is 5s. to her husband." A couvrtiv paper, in a notice of a lecture given by a phrenologist, said: "Behind the platform is a large gallery of life-size portraits twelve feet high." This old notice reminds us of the hand bill put forth, which was headed: "Wanted, a few healthy members to complete a Sick Society." SCAIICKLY so ingenious, but equally- absurd, is the Hibernian notice said to be seen over the entrance gate to a French burying ground: "Only the dead who live in this parish are buried here." A l'ltoi-KSSOKsiin* in sanitary engi neering—the only chair of the kind iu any college—has been established in the Imperial Institute, at Tokio, by tho Government of Japan. Where Pearls Arc Found, The formation of mother-of-petrl is doubtless a natural process taking fclace in certain mussels. Tho formation of pearls, on the other hand, is ascribed to accidents, and probably is caused by a sickness of the mussel, or by some wound inflicted on it. This view lias been reached by noticing the circim stancc that when tho shells aro lairge and the inside smooth, clean, and with out any holes, so that the mollusks «an fully develop, pearls are but rarely found while the formation of pearls is very frequent when the shells are!ir regular. Sometimes hundreds of peirls are found in tho last-mentioned shells, but frequently scarcely one of thjjm possesses any commercial value. lifeal pearls aro found only in bivalves tut a useful product is found iu some uni valves. Fourteen varieties are enumer ated, tho products of which are known to commerce. Among these are iho avicula margaritifera, which produces the most valuable pearls the piijna squamosa, with black and red pearis, and the ehank shell, with pale-red pearls. Diving is one of the principal em ployments for the natives of the Pa cific Ocean. Here, likewise, mother of-pearl is the principal object of tfye fisheries. The oysters live in large colonies, close together, and are firmly attached to each other. They are at tached to the bottom by a liga ment 'or band, starting from their body and running through the shell. Iu the live animal this band is of a dark green, and sometimes gold bronze color, and fishermen can tell from its color whether the shells contain pearls or not. Tho shells reach their lull size when they arc 7 years old. When the animal has readied maturity it tears itself loose from the stones, opens its shell, and dies. The shells ire then covered with corals and parasites. They become worthless and the pearls are lost. Occasionally pearls aro fovnd loose in the shells. These are always of a very line quality, perfectly rouid, and often very large. But thciv is hardly one in a thousand oysters which contains such pearls. T'ho natives often lose them, owing to the carebss way in which they open the she Is. Fine and calm weather is most favor able for pearl-fishing. The divers wear no special suit, but simply :ub their body with oil so tho sun may not blister tho skin. They remain unrler the water one to two minutes and bring up oysters from a depth of twenty fathoms. They rarely go to sudi a depth, but the finest oysters are found there. In the lower part of the Bty of Mulege, in the Gulf of California and near Los Covntes, pearls of great ralue liave been found. It is generally sup posed that a row of pearl-beds expends from the Gulf of Darien to California. The fisheries are carried on from July to October during tho rest of the year storms and cold weather prevent fish ing. Diving-suits are generally ised. Experience has shown that few pearls, and these of little value, cimc from mussels which are not older than five years. During tho fifth and sixth year the value doubles, and in the seventh it becomes four-fold. The pearls are not fully matured if they are taken out too soon, and, on the other hand, the animal dies if the pearls re main too long in tho shells. For these reasons, at the Ceylon fisheries pearl iisliing is prohibited at certain periods. In sorting the pearls they are first passed through a row of baskets, ten or twelve in number. The eighth basket in the row has twenty holes, and the pearls which do not pass through these are said to have the "twentieth meas ure. The other baskets in order have 30, 50, 80, 100, 200. 400, GOO, 1,000 holes, etc., and each basket has its special name. After the pearls have been sorted in this measure they are weighed and their value is noted. The pearl fisheries are principally confined to the Persian Gulf, coasts oif Ceylon, the Eastern Archipelago, Australia, the lagoons and many islands in the Pacific, and to Central America. Fresh-water pearls have, as a rule, but little luster, and are con sequently of no great value. For awhile the Scotch pearls enjoyed a great reputation. During the summer months the Arabs carry on a sort of pearl-fishery on the coast of the Bed Sea. They catch the mollusks and lay them in the sun so that they may open quickly. The pearl-fisheries in the Persian Gulf, especially on the eoaV.s of the Island of Bahrein, are also in the hands of the Arabs. In the State of Ohio pearl-fisheries are carried on in the Little Miami River. The season lasts from June till October. Men and boys wade in tho river and bring up tho pearl oysters with their feet. Tho shells are opened with a knife and seldom are more than two pearls found in 300 oysters. Pearl-fislie ries aro also carried on in the- rivers of Norway, Bav'aria, and Bohemia. In the Bahamas the snail fisheries form an important industry. The pearls found iu them are rose-colored, yellow, or black the first mentioned alone possess any value. About the Bee. There is the bee's eye, with its hun dreds of facets, each presenting the same image—this is proved by separa ting the many-sided cornea and lookin" through it with a microscope at a candle flame. Tho bee, moreover, be sides its pair of faceted eyes, carries on the top of its head three simple eyes, very convex, for short distance visum. Then there are its antenna.-, whereby it feels its way in the dark hive and which give it moreover its exquisite power of smell. Bees can hear, too, though Sir John Lubbock thinks not. They seem deaf because, like wise people, they only attend to such sounds as concern them their own hive's "roar" the stragglers can hear a very long way oil', ami Mr. Cheshire thinks that the old key and warming-]tun music at swarming time is by no means exploded. Their impassivencss under many kinds of sound he compares with that of most human beings in thunder storm we are as if we heard not. whereas, if a child cries for help, we wake into activity. Bees clearly me not given to waste emotion or nerve force. They have a nervous system, with ganglions—i. e., knots or'lumps where tho nerve threads meet. A bee's brain is a bigger ganglion placed in its head, divided—like ours—into two lobes. In queens and drones the brain in small. The worker has proportion al Iv twice as much as the aunt, and more than twenty times as much as the cockchafer. Intelligent though it is, we need not suppose it to be a high class mathematician because its cells are hexagonal. Mr. Cheshire says that if you pui a soap bubble on a bit of slate one side gets flattened. Put an other to it and the contiguous walls be come quite flat, owing to tho equal ten sion ou tho two sides. Now add five more bubbles, so that the first occupies the center across section of this cen tral bubble will now be perfectly hex agonal, all tho contiguous walls of tho seven bubbles being flat, the free ones curved. This is tho case in tho hive, the free walls of tho comb always run ning in a sweep, the liexagonality be ing simply due to the pressure of one bee against another as they are work ing.— All the Year Bound. Cadet Hospitality at West Point. When a number of successful appl-i cants had returned from physical ex amination at the hospital they were put in charge of an orderly, who conducted them to Cadet Barracks. The orderly took the party to the hall of the eighth division of barracks, and told them to wait there quietly, aid to cuter the "office" one at a time, a their turn came, and report. Then immediately began a course of the treatment known as "hazing." AVhen Fred Arilen opened tho door and walked in, he immediately found himself the center of a howling mob of cadets, who "would like to know, sir, what you mean by walking into this office with out knocking, sir? Step out there and try it over again!" Fred precipitately backed out, and, closing the door, knocked. A sten torian voice shouted, "Come in!" and he came. But once again had he offended in the matter of etiquette, as ho soon discovered from the cries of "Take that hat off, sir!" "Where were you brought up, I'd like to know?" Don't you know better than to keep your hat on in the presence of your superior officers, sir?" "Get out there iu tho hall again, sir, and leave that hat there, and I want to see you but ton that coat up this time too, sir, do you understand?" "Step out now and be quick about it." Fred had not uttered a word in re ply to this tirade, for he Was far too surprised. But he "stepped out" and made the alterations suggested while his fellow-martyrs, who were still wait ing their turn, looked on in unhappy anticipation. Fred's third attempt at entrance was more satisfactory, and a cadet-corporal approached him in a very business-like manner and accosted him with: "Well, what are you here for? What do you want?" Fred replied that he came in to re port. "Well, then, why don't you 'report,' and climb out again? What's your name "Fred Arden." "AVhat!" "Fred Arden," in a louder tone. "Mister Arden, sir," shouted the eidet-eorporal. "Yes, sir," Fred admitted "that's it." "Then suppose you report properly I havo no time to waste. AVhat's your name?" ''Mister Arden." 'Mister Arden, sir!" roared the now apparently exasperated fledgeling. 'Mister Arden, sir!" repeated Fred, with emphasis. 'Ah! now, where are you from?" de manded his inquisitor. "From Maine—sir!" replied Fred, rendered wise by experience. "There, now, you have made some progress," commented the tormentor. "You have learned to address old cadets as 'sir.' Never forget this. Also, understand that you are now under military discipline, and that a soldier's first duty is strict obedience to orders. Here, Jake," he continued, turning to a cadet near him "take it up stairs and cage it." With a gruff "Come along, sir," "Jake" led the way up the iron stair case to a room on the third floor, and with a gruffer "l'ou stay in there until further orders," left Fred to his own devices. Ccorge I. Vnjnani, in tit. Xic'.tolas. The Heaver's Instinct. An old hunter living in the Crazy Mountains, says the San Francisco Call, caught a young beaver soon after its birth, and carried it to his cabin, where he gradually made a great pet of it. As the youngster approached maturity he got. to building dams, and each morning the hunter found his cabin floor divided by a dam that reached from wall to wall, the component parts of which were firewood, boots, articles of clothing, and other movable articles in the house that could be reached or transported. To add to tho confusion, a basin or bucket of water, if possible' was capsized and flooded over the floor'. This little animal, who had never seen a stream or a dam to know either, was busily at work engaged in doing what his forefathers had done a thousand years before him. AVhile all other game or fur-bearin" animals of the Northwest are likely to be exterminated without a dissentm" voice, the poor little harmless and hard-working beaver lias found a fast friend in^ the cattlemen and herd owners. The reason is obvious. In this great dry country and climate the streams and ater-lioles .on tho rang'cs are few and far between. Moisture is the cattleman's greatest want. Now, a beaver destroys nothing but trees' and as there are few of the latter oi'i the great treeless plains of Montana, tho beaver of necessity lives on shrubs and roots, and builds iiis dam where lie may. This just suits the cattleman, who finds in the insignificant little quadruped, compared to his 1,00:j poillid steers, a most valuable ally in providing ponds and drinking places where there were none before. SMALL man (furiously —Who struck mv friend? Largo man (contemptu ously)—I did, what of it? Small man (timidly) N-n-nothing, but (struck with a bright idea) didn't you hit him a daisy paste't—Harold Lampoon. Nearly "Fremont and Lincoln." There aro very few who remember that the Bepubliean ticket in 1850 came near boini? Fn-'mont and Lincoln. We quote as billows irom Hay and Xicolay 9 Life of Lincoln, in The Century:"How ever picturesquely Fremont for the moment loomed up as tho stand ard-bearer of the Bepubliean party, future historical interest ccn-' tors upon the second act of the Philadelphia convention. It shows us how strangely to human wisdom vibrate the delicately-balanced scale of fate or rather how inscrutable and yet how unerring are the far-reaching pro cess of Divine Providence. The princi pal candidate having been selected without contention or delay, the con vention proceeded to a nomination for Vice President. On the first informal ballot William L. Dayton of New Jer sey received 25! votes and Abraham Lincoln of Illinois 110 the remaining votes being scattered among thirteen other names. Tho dominating thought of tho convention being the as sertion of principle and not the promo tion of men, there was no further con test and though Mr. Dayton had not received a majority support, his nomi nation was nevertheless at once made unanimous. Those who are. familiar with the eccentricities of nomi nating conventions when in this listless and drifting mood, know how easily an opportune speech from some eloquent delegate or a few adroitly arranged delegation caucuses might have reversed this result an imagination may not easily construct the possible changes in history which a successful campaign of the ticket in that form might havo wrought. AYliat would have been the consequence to America and humanity had the Bebellion, even then being de vised by Southern Hotspurs, burst upon the nation in the winter of 185G, with the nation's sword of commander-in chief in the hand of the impulsive Fre mont,and Lincoln, inheriting the patient wariness and cold blood of three gener ations of pioneers and Indian-fighters, wielding only the powerless gavel of A'iee President? But the hour of des tinv had not yet struck." The authors publish the following in a foot-note. "Mr. T. S. A'an Dyke, son of one of the delegates to Philadelphia, kindly writes us: 'Nothing that Mr. Lincoln has ever written is more characteristic than the following note from him to my father just after the convention—not for publication, but merely as a private expression of his feeling to an old ac quaintance Krruxc FIELD, III., June 27,1S3G. Hon. John Van Ijyh'c, JVIY DKAR Sin: Allow mo to thank you for your lvinrt notteo of me iu tho Philadelphia conven tion. Whon you moot Judge Dayton present my re spect*, and toll him I think him a far better man than I for tho position he iB in, and that I shall support both him and Col. Fremont most cordially. Present my best respects to Mrs. V.» and believe me, Yours truly. A. LINCOLN*. Mary's Little Lamb. Most of our young readers will be surprised to hear that the well-known nursery song of "Mary Had a Little Lamb" is a true s'torv, and that "Mary" is still living. About seventy years ago she was a little girl, the daughter of a farmer in AVorcester County, Mass. She was very fond of going with her father to the fields to see the sheep, and one day they found a baby lamb which was thought to be dead. Kind-hearted little Mary, however, lifted it up iu her arms, and as it. seemed to breathe, car ried it home, made it a warm bed near the stove and nursed it tenderly. Great was her delight when, after Weeks of careful feeding and watching, her little patient began to grow well and strong, and soon after it was able to run about. It knew its young mistress perfectly, always came at her call, and was liapiiv only when at her side. One day it fol lowed her to the village school, "and not knowing what else to do with it, she put it under the desk, and covered it over with her shawl. There it staved until Mary was called up to the teach er's desk to say her lesson, and then tho lamb walked quietly after her and the other children burst out laughing. So the teacher had to shut tho" little girl's pet in tho woodshed until school was out. Soon after this a yonuw student named John Rollstone, wrote a little poem about Mary and her lamb, and presented it to' her. The lamb grew to be a siieep. and lived for many years, and when at last it died, Mar'v grieved so much for it that her mother took some of'its wool, which was "as white as snow," and knitted a pair of stockings for her to wear in remem brance of her darling. Some years after 'the lambs death, Mrs Sarah Hall, a celebrated woman who wrote books, composed some verses and added them to those written bv John Itollstone, making the complete poem as we know it. Mary took such good care of the stockings "made of her lamb's fleece that when she was a grown up woman she gave one of tliem to a church fair in Boston. As soon as it became known that the stocking Was made from the fleece of "Mary's little lamb," every ono wanted a piece of it. So the stocking was raveled out and the yarn cut into small pieces. Each piece was tied to a card on which Marv wrote her full name, and these cards sold so •\\ell that they brought the large sum of Sl-10 in the Old South Church.—Ameri can Agriculturist. A AYeld Without Fire. Relative to making a perfect weld of steel without- tiro or borax,.a black smith writes "A job came to my .shop a few days ago in the shape of two pieces of three-quarter inch round stool, AwJiled together end to end. A taper plug of steel was in one end'of'a shaft on which a com burr was running. I lie plug ot steel was bearing against a bke pieee of steel in the frame, the object of this being to tighten the Inur.s. Owin^ to a looso box on tln» shalt, the shaft got to jumping, givin" a side motion and creating friction enough to weld the two pieces of ste.-l together as stated. The two pieces'of steel werohardened."-BostonJJudyeL Oi'i'ouTvxiTv is in respect to time in some sense, as time is in respect' to eternity it is the small moment, tho exact point, the critical minute, on ««£-s,ra 50 A Spanish Dinner. Our bill of faro created a sen^t Tho landlord and all the waiters in turns to look at the extraoivhY^6 Englishmen who had such appetites. Hero is the AYe began with olives then came the called coeido. If you have a arv g'ganti'e exact mcn,/ and pir.i-i pimentos and gaindelias and el, These were the horn iVamvres. Ti cigarettes. Then we had an •v thin soup, followed by cigarette^,!'! H'"" great national cii',, °°4 auh of coeido (pronounced cotliido, beeri of the Spanish lisp given to thecbotV certain vowels) you have a good drli for your dinner. It is a savorv st ,,. of chicken, potatoes, sausage, VaeV and white beans, all boiled up pieces of beef. t| 1 The foreigner who is suddenly Con fronted with a huge dish of coeido ani promptly requested to help himseifi in some difficulty. He takes a spoonful at hazard. The waiter still stands at his elbow. "Tho senor has only takw beans." Again you make a dash Vitll the spoon and seeuro something els(. The waiter stares, but does not"iinm'. away. "The senor has only taken sausage." Tho senor, confused re quests the waiter to assist him' aii',1 then the process, though alow, is inter esting. A spoonful of beans on the plate then, selected with the greats care, a piece ot chicken then patient' search for a slice of sausage, lniri«l I Tinder a mound of cabbage then tlw cabbage itself: then a minute devoted to a voyage of discovery in search of the nicest piece of beef then an exploration I in search of a succulent morsel of la. I con then a spoonful of potatoes ami I then, over all, an extra spoonful of tlio I Mcautiful gravy. I timed my waiter I sad he took s£E minutes and a half to I help me to oocido. When the dish passes down a table d'hote it take* I about an hour to go roend. It is for I this reason that the Spaniards help I themselves all together at the same I jime from tho common dish. I The next item after cigarettes was a I Spanish salad. This salad is prepaml I in a peculiar way and spread out upon bread into which the oil and vine«ar have been allowed to soak. This, ton, was excellent. Then more cigarettes. I then a cheese made of honey and cream and several other ingredients which re quire to be taken on trust, and then, after more cigarettes, some "angel's hair," whs.ch is really a preparation of I orange rind very thinly shreded. The wines with this feast were A'ab depenas—a red wine made from graper, grown on the rockly plains around Madrid—and Jerez, which, of course, is cherry. To finish the evening in a real Span isli way, after going to a rather low Spanish cafe to see the real Spanish •lancing, we had before retiring to rest] "Dos chocolates con pfca toste* and] that, if you please, is two cups of thick 1 chocolate with square fingers of bread I beautifully fried in olive oil. And va I weren't ill. (leorye Ji. Simms. Life Above Slairs in Mexico. Another peculiarity in Mexican life I is that everybody lives over a shep, i( I the house be of two stories, or uses fc" lower floor for stabling the horses, quartering the servants, etc. Even I millionaires often rent the ground floor of their swollest residences l'or business purposes, and nobody seems to have any domestic use for those lower front rooms which Americans consider most desirable. Go to call upon a bishop, or some other high dignitary, or upon any family of known wealth, and if there he not a shoemaker pegging away at his bench just inside the front, door, or a tailor-shop, or a hair-dressing or black smithing establishment, you are obliged to squeeze past carriages standing in the passageway or run the gantlet of horses' heels, besides viewing the para phernalia of the forever open kitchen and smelling the next meal's menu. Another puzzling phenomenon to the foreigner is that every man and woman to whom he speaks immediately pre- I sents him with a residence. On being I introduced to a Mexican he grasps your I hand with ardent cordiality and re- I marks: "My house is yours it stands I in the calle de so-and-so, No. —, aud is entirely at your service or he informs you with great earnestness that ha casa de A', "your house") is such aud such a number that he shall be of fended if you do not oeeupy it, aud that he and all liis family are your irn^t humble servants. As probably he In" just been introduced to you by soim1 other casual acquaintance, and has en joyed the honor of knowing you not more than five minutes, he would ^laturally be astonished if .you took liini at his word. The funniest part of it is that these persons who so reckless'? lay all the}- possess at your feet would scarcely be able to recognize you should they meet you next day and certainly it you (being of the "male persuasion I took the liberty of calling at the casa I generously placed at your disposal veil I would meet with the coldest of wel comes and be permitted to see none of the ladies of tho household.—luuini B. Ward. (Jiving Mary Ann a Show. A young lady told me once of attend ing a little Catholic church in the coun try near where she was spending i'1'-' summer. Being a regular attendant at a large city church of that faith, she was painfully conscious of the florid pretentious character of the music at tempted by the ambitious little chox and of their absolute hopeless inability to perform it. The relation between the pastor and the congregation evidently of the simplest aud most un affected nature. In the "Gloria" there occurred a long and showy sopn-1 solo, in cheap imitation of the Italw11 style. The young lady who atteuil't(Hl it sang gayly on till tlie clergyman evi dently thought that she had enj\v^ her lair share of attention and Accordingly, he raised his hand as aslu" nal, and the music ceased. "Let that young girl with the feather have done singin', and let 51a': Ann Quitty sing the rest," There a little hesitation in the choir, and 1"-' resumed. "The service will nut go until Mary Ann as a show." Accordingly Mnry Ann took her uings, and the yotmg girl with the feather was left uoTrhere.—iiil'li Weekly. 1